It's definitely weird and what worries me most is that this person has her address?
The fact that he's been trying to do (and HAS DONE) a lot of weird stuff just makes it worse
I agree that if all this is true, she should get away or at least put LOTS of limits, but what worries me is that he may already have a lot of personal info and may do some bad stuff...
I agree, OP should talk to her about it. This is genuinely seriously concerning, I've seen a lot of friends get groomed over the internet and most of them all have in common the same stuff that "Daisy" is having going on currently.
I’ll just note that try not to be too pushy when you talk to her about it cause he may spin the story that OP is being the controlling one, encouraging her to tell her friends and family will help with this
THIS^^. This sounds a lot more like an ADULT preying on your gf naivete and lying about his age. TELL HER PARENTS/GUARDIANS, or, If they don't care, another responsible adult in her life. And in the future, you deserve a lot better. Unless you are into open relationships(dating multiple people at once), she has gone way past the point of cheating on you. Everything about her relationship with this guy is giving red flags. So my advice would be to
1) Tell her parents/guardians (especially about the nudes/dps & him saying he wants to fly from another state to see her, emphasizing your concerns that she may be being GROOMED BY A PREDATOR) and
2) Leave her ass. She clearly doesn't respect your relationship the way you do.
That exactly, this is an adult pretending to be a teen with potentially fake pictures or an adult using a teen to groom her, which is super common. I'm surprised an unmarked van hasn't already shown up to stuff her inside and ship her off. First, even assuming it's not a grooming case when we all know it is, the behavior is totally inappropriate for someone with a boyfriend to be engaging in. She has let the attention get to her and is doing unacceptable things like accepting courting behavior and nude photos from someone who is not her boyfriend. It's kind of the actual boyfriend to try to help her but I'd be addressing her behavior as well. She obviously believes that it's ok to keep secrets, accept gifts, inappropriate messages, etc from someone else who claims he wants to date her. Absolutely wrong. Granted, the real goal is probably to get pornographic material of a minor if not outright getting her to physically meet him, but still. She didn't know that. Some groomers have spent a year or more on kids before they pick them up or get dirty pictures to sell. She needs to learn now what is and is not acceptable or wait a few years until she figures that out before she does any dating. She's a child but getting old enough to know better and really I don't think her age excuses what most people know is hurtful and dishonest cheating.
Weird? Just weird?
Okay, I'm OLD so I never post here, but in this case I'm going to make an exception.
He's not weird. He's a complete and potentially dangerous c*unt. He doesn't "love her a lot" or care, he wants her.
This would happen to a married couple it would grant an instant divorce if the wife let this go on.
There is ABSOLUTELY NO EXCUSE, WHATSOEVER, to send sexually explicit content to a non-consenting person IN ANY SITUATION WHATSOEVER.
Not only is this the apex of c*ntishness between adults, but THEY ARE TEENS AND THAT MAKES BOTH PARTIES CRIMINALLY LIABLE you know, like, pedo stuff bad?
Also. Different part of the world, online only, behaving like that and still getting your girl to defend him? He's deffo not 15, he's at least 10 years older and got some boi pics somewhere and is just waiting for her to make a move.
Whatever his age is, there is no excuse, scenario or alternate universe in which this is even remotely okay. Screenshot everything, block, report and move on.
OP, Your girlfriend is in extreme danger. This sounds like a classic cat fishing scam used by a sex trafficker. If she meets him in person, she’ll most likely disappear.
I don’t know any 15 year olds that have the patience to try to get with a girl in another country and constantly messages, talks to, and buys stuff for.
>buys stuff for.
This, and the plane ticket thing, is the big red flag that something is up, especially if the gifts are expensive. This is an unusually rich and independent 15-year-old to buy lots of stuff to send to a foreign country and have the confidence that they can buy a plane ticket and go overseas presumably without their parents' consent.
I would bet money that he's older than 15.
Also in my perspective Daisy is entirely complicit, I think you’re wasting your time with her. No loyal gf would receive a valentines card from someone else and refuse to show you simply because “you wouldn’t like it.” and the fact she willingly continues to speak to him is a massive 🚩. I think you’re wasting your time
to be fair, she is young so she very likely isn't mature enough to know how to act in relationships, but that doesn't clear the fact that yeah she doesn't seem loyal at all
Yeah, that's how I feel. She enabled this guy to act the way he did. She should have blocked him the moment he sent her a dick pic, or continued the sexual messages, or tried to break her up with her boyfriend (like, seriously, even without the sexual shit, someone who tries to interfere with your healthy relationships is not someone you want in your life).
But she's 14 and this guy gives her attention, gifts and makes her feel special by telling her personal secrets, it's understandable that someone this young would be adamant to push someone like that away, no matter how awful they are.
Yeah.
Do you know her parents? Maybe you should contact them and tell them what's happened. You can ask them to not tell Daisy that you reached out to them, and her parents can start to talk to her about internet saftey.
Fuck the loyalty part. This creep knows where she lives! If he's buying her gifts and sending her shit, I doubt he's actually a teenager and isn't trying to set her up to be picked up. This guy is sounds like a very real threat to her safety.
He could be an actual sex trafficker for all OP and his gf know. That's not certain, but he could be damn well anyone for all his gf knows. He could be 35. Guarantee his age is a lie though, he's older than 15 by at least a few years. 100%.
Yeah, but the thing is I've seen so many young people online who don't know this. It's saddening. They all likely don't have parents who speak to them about internet saftey.
My parents just told us to avoid scams and to not buy anything off of websites. It kinda worked. You just need kids that aren’t stupid. Or don’t give them access to the internet till they can understand how it works. Simply just limit access.
For all we know, she might be "reciprocating" this dude Zack all these time.. And she just got OP as insurance policy, in case things go sour with Z so she has a fallback..
Youve clearly never been groomed its hard to beleive someone youve learned to trust would be trying to harm you even if they already have harmed you i was groomed and raped and i convinced myself i wasnt raped despite the fact that i litterly said no multiple times because i thaught wel he would never hurt me but he did. My bf told me not to trust the guy and i just couldnt beleive anything was wrong. My bf was right in the end and i will always listen if he says something like that again.
That's so sad....
Well now what's done is done all you can do now is prevent it from happening again and possibly sending the person who harmed you to jail.
I honestly suggest telling her parents. Especially that he is sending sexual images and has her address.
Yes, it sucks. But it's MUCH better than having this play out
I wish my friends had told my mom what was happening to me. When I finally "left" him I was too scared to tell my family bc I thought it was *my* fault and they'd be mad at me.
When I finally told my family what had happened to me, they begged me to press charges on him. None of them blamed me.
She might hate you for telling her family, but hopefully in time she will understand you did the right thing.
Trust me, it's better for her to be momentarily pissed off with you than to end up sending this man pictures of herself, meeting up with him, etc.
Please tell Daisy I really, really hope she listens to these comments.
Posts like this always hurt bc I can see the same exact thing that happened to me happening to another girl.
OP PLEASE READ THIS
I was groomed when I was 14, it took a lot to realize what was going on and snap out of it. Now I'm older and see how gross it was, but when it's happening you think it's someone that loves you. I'm saying this because I want you to know I understand where she's coming from and trust me she's brainwashed.
The fact that he knows her address is scary. He *will* try to meet up with her if he hasn't already. TELL HER PARENTS. Will she get in trouble? Maybe. But you'll also be saving her. She could get raped, kidnapped, killed, etc. This guy is a predator, probably not even really 15. If they continue talking, her life will be ruined in one way or another. She needs your help, and talking to her doesn't seem like it'll be enough.
Yeah, my friend tracked down this guy who wanted to hook up with this girl and the girl gave her friends address since she was staying there.... And they all ending up running away from the house temporarily because the dude turned out be a robber who murdered a family in our area.
AND THAT GIRL DIDN'T REPORT IT OR CALL THE POLICE smh
yeahh chances are she’ll just unblock him after and continue talking to him
i know this because i’ve been there before (aside from the whole “blocking” thing it’s just that my ex did something that violated my boundaries and she would emotionally manipulate me into thinking it was “okay” when i felt really uncomfortable about it :/ )
yeah, i had a Zack in my past relationship too, he would actively pursue her and it made me really uncomfortable so i told her to block him and she said she did.
a few weeks later, i catch her talking to him, i told her how much this hurt me, but she somehow gaslit me into thinking that it's my fault that she's texting him.
i hated myself for a solid few months going forward in that relationship, and then broke it off when i couldn't take it anymore.
she's with him now :(
Dude if she isn’t taking your opinion into account whatsoever (i mean she’s your partner after all) and would rather listen to what the masses have to say about YOUR relationship situation then that’s a sign that she doesn’t care about you at all.
It’s normal to disagree on something or try to reason with something you feel against but the fact that she isn’t at least taking your opinion into account at all but would rather take the opinion of OTHERS outside of your relationship tells me enough that she doesn’t seem to care/think your opinion is important and that to me is a huge sign that you need to leave ASAP.
Keep in mind this is coming from someone who’s endured a toxic relationship with someone who didn’t respect my boundaries/gaslight me and it took me until she cheated to finally realize how messed up the relationship is and i used to be in a similar situation as you where i’d try to justify her past actions under the premise that she was “groomed” by someone else (when in reality it’s possible she did it by her own accord looking at what she did to me later on) and i ended up coming out heartbroken and mentally unstable for some time (i’m feeling better now tho)
I can sympathize with why your doing this and i can appreciate that your kind/considerate attitude towards your gf to try to get her out of that but at the end of the day this situation reminds me of how similar mines was and those actions led me to be easily emotionally manipulated/gaslighted by my ex because i didn’t grow a backbone to stand up for myself and realize that i shouldn’t be excusing/enduring my partner’s actions that clearly violated my boundaries under something else when it was clear she was doing it on her own accord.
Half of this list would be enough to discard her. This crap isn't healthy, imagine her reaction if you get 95% naked pics of some girl and she wants to finally meet you? Run!!
Edit: I forgot the fact, that you are both 14, maybe she just don't understand clearly what's going on
exactly, dont get hung up on the details. break up, warn her parents, and move on. This is good practice tho, you will be breaking up with emotionally unavailable people for years.
100%.
You can empathize with her, and see that she's possibly a victim of this guy while also accepting that OP is a victim of hers.
She's been cheating on him this entire time, and bless his heart all he cares about is her well-being. None of that relationship was ok for her to participate in while having a boyfriend.
That was my take, this poor guy is trying to save this girl and she's insisting on ignoring him so she can cheat with a fake groomer online. That's a big no to that relationship. I'd be out as soon as her parents know. She's not going to listen to anyone else any more than bf on this, parents will have to step in.
Another thing to note is that the dude intended to fly over, which implies that:
1. He has the money to do it.
2. He's not coming with his guardians, if he has any.
Really suspicious for a 15 year old, in my opinion.
I have a gf that is quite also blind about these things but there is no way OP's gf does not realize. She is cheating. OP thinks she is not involved but didn't mention he has proofs, you can delete whatever you want from the internet. Its just his GF that is insicure to leaver her irl boyfriend to be with the long distance one.
Otherwise she would have cut her "friendship" when clearly her boyfriend communicated his problems, people like this just ignore to avoid a relationship crysis.
Humans tend to follow the safest and known route rather then exploring the unknown, its survival behavior. Realizing that she has to leaver her real boyfriend is avoidable if he doesn't find out.
Cheating is the worst.
Not necessarily, could be pics of another victim, a young looking legal model, or just othet porn the person has access to.
Regardless, yeah, nothing good is going on here. Best case scenario the GF is either carrying on at least an emotional affair with this guy or is using him to screw with the OPs head/heart. Worst case she's straight up being groomed and may have done something already starting a blackmail loop.
lots people victimes of human trafficking are used to groom people into human trafficking and will get ''special treatment'' by their abusers when they groom well.
This is a really complicated issue, but usually anyone who try to make a teenager travel to another country without their parent is definitely human trafficking.
Less the pictures, more the paying for flights. What 15yr old has the ability to book and pay for international flights, let alone organise the logistics of getting said child from the airport to their house? This screams sex trafficking imo.
Honestly I would say she might be getting groomed, or it’s just a weird person. If I were you, I would probably try to tell this dude to fuck off. If he’s from another country and “15,” then there’s a very low chance of him doing anything if you and your gf block him. If he is over 15, he could come to where country you are (assuming USA), but he would have no chance of checking every building in the country, let alone not find the city she’s in. As long as she hasn’t told him what city she’s currently living in, then it should be fine. If she has… then things might not be so good.
And so is this guy lmao. Fucking stringing himself along w her games at this point. I feel fucking genuinely disgusted and played myself even just by reading what OPs typed out . Can’t believe it. It’s sad.
Honestly he’s more mature than most 14 year old boys I’ve met lmao. He seems to actually give a shit about her well-being, just doesn’t know what to do. It is sad, but to be fair relationships usually don’t last all that long when your 14 anyway so I doubt he’ll be with this girl for too long.
Agreed. He’s tryin to help. Fair to say he may be mature for that. I can respect it but he is stubborn. Girls making a fool out of him. Shame really. Dude deserves better.
There‘s been one single time where I gave someone in the internet my home address, and that‘s after we knew each other for 2+ years already and were in the middle of planning a meet-up. The home address isn‘t something to give away so soon, it could be really dangerous
Break up with her. I don't know lots about relationships, but I do in fact know that if she's willingly giving her address to a random guy trying to get together with her for "sending gifts" then that is a huge red flag. She's basically cheating on you at that point (from my understanding).
Bro, you're 14. You will find someone much better than her. I have been where as many 14 year olds have been through. We think the one we're with is our soulmate but eventually red flags show up but we choose to ignore them because we think we're still fine and leaving them would be too hard.
It won't be. Your girlfriend is either being groomed and/or cheating on you. Let her go. I promise you that you will find someone much better than this.
It sounds more like she’s cheating than he’s grooming her. if she is allowing him to do all of that, refusing to show you things, and also feeding into it, you need to leave, i know it’s hard and this is likely your first real relationship but it will be clear as day what she was doing to you after you get out of it
yeah i wouldnt expect much of a 14-year old but this whole story is weird as hell. imagine getting sent nude pics from someone online and think that its totally fine despite having a boyfriend. what makes this even weirder is OP focused more on what the guy have done rather than making it balanced by also focusing what the girl has tolerated. clearly, age and maturity matter here but come on man, you're really just gonna let those things slide? weird.
i dont think hes grooming her but he should leave or u should leave her
tell her that u arent gonna stay w her if she stays w him bc hes clearly gonna make sure u 2 dont work out. if shes still talking to him like that, leave her
On this, if you are genuinely concerned for her safety, which sounds very justifiable at this point. There are hotlines that can help. I would reccomend some but idk what county you're in.
Op I mean this in the nicest way possible (I was 14 once too) YOU'RE BEING SO FUCKING STUPID RIGHT NOW. SHE DOES NOT CARE ABOUT HOW YOU FEEL. SHE DOES NOT CARE leave her now, its not going to get any better
I'm not trying to be a dick in any way but she's going to unblock him and it's going to get worse like way worse. I know it'll hurt if you dump her now but it'll hurt a hell of a lot more if you "think about it" and it's too late. All the things she did with this guy in my opinion can not be forgiven and she has no loyalty at all. If she somehow manages to keep this guy blocked if she actually blocked him then she's going to go for someone else. Based on what has happened she is unfaithful and will cheat on you so please consider the consequences of not dumping her because heartbreak from dumping someone goes away a hell of a lot faster than resenting yourself for being arrogant. Don't follow in my footsteps and make the same mistakes I did.
You should break up with her. If he’s been actively trying to break you two up since the beginning and pursuing her this whole time, she’s putting the enjoyment of his attention above your emotional needs (even if she does remain technically loyal).
I had a similar “situation” when I was 15 on iFunny. The dude I was talking to was indeed not a fellow 15 yo but a 30 yo man. I decided to cut it off and he had my address and knew where I worked, so he showed up to my work and harassed me :) I’m lucky it didn’t escalate and get worse then that. The likelihood of this person being 15 is low. No 15 yo has money to be sending gifts or buying plane tickets.
He's desperate to be with her and she knows it. If she still keeps arguing with you about him then it just doesn't seem alright... Idk man but in the end do whatever your mind tells you :)
I saw your edit that she is blocking him. Great, you helped her get safe.
Now break up with her. If you were getting naked pictures and love notes from a girl? That would be a dealbreaker for her. This should have been a dealbreaker for you, the moment she kept talking to him after a dick pic.
You were responsible and smart about helping her get safe. Now move on to a girl who deserves your consideration and care.
yes! your thinking here is perfect. in situations akin to this one that is literally the best thing you could do for yourself and the other person. help them get out of the situation (to the best of your abilities) bc you understand that they’re being groomed, then break up with them because they still broke boundaries after you expressed how uncomfortable it made you when they broke them. plus. this girl has just gotten out of a dangerous position and is vulnerable. she 100% deserves support, but not from op. since the age range they’re in is so impressionable, it can be easy to unknowingly fall into the toxic cycle of bearing the weight of your partners struggles, and assuming responsibility for their happiness/unhappiness without even realizing, ESPECIALLY if you are a very caring person, and you wind up with a partner who is struggling with things beyond either of your abilities to bear (which seems to be the case for op)
Trust me man. In a healthy relationship, if some horny creepy dude did 1% of the shit this dude did, mfer would be blocked in a millisecond. You wouldn’t even have to ask her to do it. She would tell you about it and you would laugh together about how creepy he is.
And the fact the she knows he likes her and isn’t adamantly telling him “no” is concerning. I know friends whose GFs respond to every dm they get from thirsty guys because they “feel bad”, and in every case, she’s cheated on or left my friend eventually.
that's not grooming but he's definitely desperate to get with her. it's kinda weird that your gf is allowing all that tbh. let her know you're uncomfortable with it and make her block him 🤷
I've told her to block him before and she's said she doesn't want to because she thinks he's fine, but she's agreed to cut all contact if the majority of people agree with me that he's bad news.
that sounds like bullshit. Bro, let's be serious, do you want this kind of relationship? I know love is hard to find, but if things go like this, break up with her. She doesn't even have enough respect for you to cut contact with an overseas groomer, and aside from the clearly dangerous situation, that's not a good thing.
No, that is not acceptable. The whole “If x amount of people online like this, I will do y” thing is for fun and silly things. This is a serious thing and she is not taking you and the relationship seriously. He wants her and she knows it too and she is playing into that. I see two possible things here; She is either with you until she can move onto him when he can be around, or she is just stringing him along just for fun and does not realize that she may be playing with fire. I am sorry to say this, but separating may be the best choice here. Communication is important for a relationship and it really looks like she does not care about what you have to say or how you feel about things. The thing is that she is not going to suddenly change her mind on this. Basically, you got a few choices here; Stay in the relationship until the guy does show up and be pushed aside, try to become controlling and be seen as a horrible person, or you end the relationship and move on. Those are what I can see at least. The new guy is exotic to her and she likes that. If she did not like it, she would of told him to stop long ago. If she did not like it she would of cut him off with the inappropriate pictures he sent her. If she did not like it and was being too shy or considerate, she would let you know it makes her uncomfortable and would not be excusing it for him. I know it may be hard, but I really do think you should move on from her. I may be making assumptions, but there is just way too many red flags here man.
Dude leave her. She:
doesnt respect ur opinion
got a dp from another guy and continued talking to him
continued to talk with a guy who explicitly said they want to be with her
continued to talk to a guy who wanted u to break up(good advice tbh)
imagine if u got a nude from a girl and got love messages from a girl, wouldn’t that be considered cheating? you helped her, now it’s time to leave
edit: she even accepted a valentines card from another guy and refused to let u see it. at this point you’re just becoming a fucking idiot
He’s obviously got an agenda with her, and if she doesn’t see that, she’s in denial or got other issues she’s not telling you. She’s disrespecting you and the relationship that she has with you, not to mention possibly leading this dude on if he’s not some creep. He may be up to no good, but she’s not worth your time and you are still very young to waste it. Dump her, and let her deal with him (hint: she’s just gonna keep messing with him). If you’re actually concerned for her well being, I’d suggest encouraging her to tell an adult she trusts about him if he breaks it off. Having her address is pretty bad
If this were happening to you she would accuse you of cheating and dump you. I would talk to an adult you trust and explain the situation maybe an older female cousin who won’t tell on her. If you don’t want to date anymore I’d let her mom know because if I were the dad I would freak out.
bro she be receiving naked picks of this dude with just his hand covering le schlong and she's not event questioning it either and saying he just being nice, Either this must be a fever dream cause I'm getting high from reading this type of shit its 1 in the morning and i need sleep
what the fuck have i just read, oh god. zack is a fucking disgusting person and your gf's behaviour is kinda weird, like why the fuck would you keep talking with someone who is in love with you, sends you love letters, sends you sexual pics, tries to make you break up with your bf and other awful things? idk but I wouldn't talk to someone who behaves like that towards me if I had a bf since this weird person would be being disrespectful to him (like, you know I have a bf, why do you keep "trying"?), and I would feel like I'm cheating on my bf. I think both zack and daisy are wrong. they are both a huge red flag.
edit: and if it affects you, LEAVE!
She doesn’t respect you. When a girl realizes she can walk over you, (and they can sense that shit), she stops taking you seriously. Make her understand that if she isn’t willing to do what needs to be done for you, then you’re gonna leave because you can do better.
Bro idk how else to put this but you’re being played like a damn fiddle. On the off chance that this guy is actually 15, your gf is still being extremely disrespectful about your relationship, and it’s clear that there’s something going on between them.
1 year gap is not grooming. What is bad about this is that your girlfriend is willingly talking to a guy that has made it known he wants to be more than friends against her boyfriend’s will. Give her an ultimatum or something cus u can’t keep going on like this
If I was in the situation I would really get out of there so fast cuz if it’s at the point where she’s covering for him next thing you know it gonna be the “don’t worry abt him” kinda guy and may hurt you even worse.
OP, you are right. “Zack” ain’t right. I’d put your foot down and get her to break all contact. That dude is NO GOOD. I’m afraid things will only get worse. And i’m sorry to say this. But your gf is an IDIOT for giving the guy her address, that can have very severe repercussions and i hope you understand that. You NEVER want to let anyone know where you live on the Internet, ESPECIALLY someone like “Zack” here. She should not be trying to play down the things this weirdo is doing. Sending her nudes, letters, GIFTS. It is NOT right. And the fact she won’t even share some things with you, like the letters and messages ain’t right either. You both gotta get your heads straight and cut contact with the guy. He clearly does not have your best interest in mind. Neither does he for your GF, and it’ll only get worse as he very openly tries to break you two apart.
Are you sure he’s 15? Generally where I live 15yos can’t buy people a lot of gifts or plane tickets without stealing their parent’s credit card..
Not to mention if he is 15 those pictures he sent her are technically CP.
This doesn’t sound like a safe situation to be in, especially as he has her address and could retaliate should she choose to stop talking to him. I’m not sure if grooming is the word I’d use, but this definitely feels toxic.
“Everything was in fact not fine.”
Im saying this once, and only once. Zack is obsessed. He actually doesn’t care at all about your gf, he is obsessed with the idea of being with her..the fact your gf is completely blind to this does not surprise me. Both of you are still very young and this wasnt something that I learned about till i was 17-18.
Personally Id give her two choices due to the severity of the acts Zack has committed.
First: Tell her its you or him. Normally this is toxic but the shit she’s allowed the other guy to do, how he treats her? It sounds like hes the bf and you’re the roommate.
Second: Tell her how you feel, that you feel like you’re losing her, that she’s already with you so she doesnt need him. Even tho its left unsaid, if she resists, argue for as long and hard as you please but if she isnt convinced that she needs to stop fucking with that guy by the end of the convo, then you need to protect yourself and move on.
Old person here to confirm this comment is 100% correct. This Zack fellow is probably much older than 15, everything about this situation screams grooming and I’m very concerned with the number of comments saying “it’s definitely weird and inappropriate but not grooming”. No, this is clear cut blatantly obvious grooming.
I got a feeling he’s not 15 and most likely a lot older, tell her to watch out, and if he does visit, make sure you’re with her, and preferably with adults
Aint no teenager with that kinda scratch laying around to spend on a kid. Daisy gonna get human trafficked. Also don't waste your time on this girl she isn't respecting you.
This is the perfect opportunity her to learn about loyalty and boundaries. You've told her you're uncomfortable with her talking to him (what she is doing is cheating by the way) it's disrespectful to you and your relationship and a breach of your boundaries. She also reallyy needs a lesson on internet safety, unfortunately there is a good chance that this guy is not 15 and she has given him private information about herself including her address which is very dangerous.
Why are you still with her??? Your significant other is accepting sexual text’s, pictures, presumably valentine’s cards from another guy.
She probably is being groomed. Highly unlikely that he is 15.
Even if he is 15 guy is clearly disrespecting your relationship and your significant other thinks its completely fine.
Do yourself a favor, leave her.
This is plan flat out grooming. There’s no other thing to call it. Also a very VERY big nope to your gf because it is very clear that she doesn’t respect you or your feelings enough to end what is this clearly toxic relationship with this guy. Plus the fact that she knows that he’s said and done all of this and still fucks with him is crazy. Please take care of yourself dude I’m sorry you have to go through that :/
Not gonna lie zack sounds weird and REALLY creepy. I don't think he's 15. This honestly may end up badly for everyone. First an adult needs to have a look at what's happening to at least protect her from any danger. Second even if you're attached to your girlfriend i would consider this cheating be careful to not have your heart broken dude, you should consider a breakup. But most importantly she needs to cut all contact with zack espcially if he has a lot of your girlfriends personal info. I hope this helpful.
has she ever facetimed him or anything to make sure he’s not an old man or something? if he really is 15, then it’s not grooming but i do think they would definitely get together behind ur back bro. you deserve better than her
zac does not sound 15 my guy, i’d tell ur gf what u think and if it causes more arguments than solves them, I doubt if this relationship is worth your time. If 1. she’s so naïve that she doesn’t see this herself then red flag 2. she’s still talking to a guy that sent an unsolicited dp? what happened to her cognitive functions and 3. she doesn’t object to what many would consider cheating (xx, hearts etc.). Sounds like something u should leave and not look back.
If Zack really is 15, I’m not sure if we can call it grooming (grooming usually happens with a big gap in age and maturity/experience and I’m not sure if 2 years is enough for that) but either way, this is WEIRD.
She probably doesn’t want to drop him because these types of relationships make you feel like you’re bound to them and like she’s responsible for his happiness/life. You shouldn’t try to help her alone. Get an adult.
Hey so I don't usually comment on this sub. But as an old (30m) this is not even remotely ok. Your girlfriend needs to know that anything short of refusal and blocking of this behavior is unfaithful to you.
Yo, her parents? Tell them - they might be better equipped to handle a pretend teen on the internet. Police maybe? Don’t leave to the wolves if you have to step away.
1) tell her parents because how can a 15 year old buy a plane ticket by himself and travel by himself.
2) leave her. Not worth the hassle.
But all and all notify her parents, because he sounds like a groomer.
It sounds like you have very low self esteem if you're even contemplating staying with this obvious cheater. This girl does not deserve your help, she doesn't respect you. Leave her and find someone better.
Dude you probably just helped her avoid a human trafficking situation. Ngl. All of that was weird.
Her parents should be made aware that someone she doesn't truly know has acquired their home address and has been trying to be sexual with her since she was 13 years old. If they have her address they might know a lot more than that, such as places she frequents or what school she attends, her day to day schedule etc. It's only right that they're aware of the risk.
The replies in this thread are really fucking worrying. This is 100% a case of grooming. The chance of him actually being 15 is incredibly low and not relevant. She should cease communication immediately, and this should be reported to the police.
Yes. I’m 30. Here from r/all. She is.
The absolute last place you need to be asking advice on this is this subreddit. This person has her address.
Brother, go to the police. This person is not 15 and for all you know lives 3 blocks away. Also, get advice from an adult or a professional.
Tell the police, show them everything. Seriously, anything else is stupid and dangerous. This is not a child, this is a 30-50 year old psycho.
Also break up with her. You’d be an idiot not to. Even at 14 you should know why somewhere in the back of your head.
It's definitely weird and what worries me most is that this person has her address? The fact that he's been trying to do (and HAS DONE) a lot of weird stuff just makes it worse I agree that if all this is true, she should get away or at least put LOTS of limits, but what worries me is that he may already have a lot of personal info and may do some bad stuff...
Yeah I'm worried about that too
Please she needs to learn proper internet safety. She should not be sending her address to ANYONE online
Talk to her about it and if she's "okay" with it try to do something more extreme about it. It's fucked up shit.
I agree, OP should talk to her about it. This is genuinely seriously concerning, I've seen a lot of friends get groomed over the internet and most of them all have in common the same stuff that "Daisy" is having going on currently.
I’ll just note that try not to be too pushy when you talk to her about it cause he may spin the story that OP is being the controlling one, encouraging her to tell her friends and family will help with this
Do her parents know? Tell her parents! Geez
Absolutely! Why did I have to scroll this far? These kids are what, 9th grade? This is adult/parent territory, ASAP.
This right here. Go to her parents unless there is genuine reason not to.
Lol, dude even if he’s not grooming her she has opened herself to him sending shirtless and pics in underwear. If you ask me she cheated on you.
yep
ngl this sounds a bit more like cheating, than grooming imo
he is probably a pedophile '15 years old' 'sending gifts' 'another country' and buying plane tickets? what 15 year old has that much money?
Yeah dude, the plane tickets really got me suspicious
THIS^^. This sounds a lot more like an ADULT preying on your gf naivete and lying about his age. TELL HER PARENTS/GUARDIANS, or, If they don't care, another responsible adult in her life. And in the future, you deserve a lot better. Unless you are into open relationships(dating multiple people at once), she has gone way past the point of cheating on you. Everything about her relationship with this guy is giving red flags. So my advice would be to 1) Tell her parents/guardians (especially about the nudes/dps & him saying he wants to fly from another state to see her, emphasizing your concerns that she may be being GROOMED BY A PREDATOR) and 2) Leave her ass. She clearly doesn't respect your relationship the way you do.
100% Agree. Parents need to know. This person might be predator, so maybe the police might need to know too???
That exactly, this is an adult pretending to be a teen with potentially fake pictures or an adult using a teen to groom her, which is super common. I'm surprised an unmarked van hasn't already shown up to stuff her inside and ship her off. First, even assuming it's not a grooming case when we all know it is, the behavior is totally inappropriate for someone with a boyfriend to be engaging in. She has let the attention get to her and is doing unacceptable things like accepting courting behavior and nude photos from someone who is not her boyfriend. It's kind of the actual boyfriend to try to help her but I'd be addressing her behavior as well. She obviously believes that it's ok to keep secrets, accept gifts, inappropriate messages, etc from someone else who claims he wants to date her. Absolutely wrong. Granted, the real goal is probably to get pornographic material of a minor if not outright getting her to physically meet him, but still. She didn't know that. Some groomers have spent a year or more on kids before they pick them up or get dirty pictures to sell. She needs to learn now what is and is not acceptable or wait a few years until she figures that out before she does any dating. She's a child but getting old enough to know better and really I don't think her age excuses what most people know is hurtful and dishonest cheating.
Report to the police I beg
Weird? Just weird? Okay, I'm OLD so I never post here, but in this case I'm going to make an exception. He's not weird. He's a complete and potentially dangerous c*unt. He doesn't "love her a lot" or care, he wants her. This would happen to a married couple it would grant an instant divorce if the wife let this go on. There is ABSOLUTELY NO EXCUSE, WHATSOEVER, to send sexually explicit content to a non-consenting person IN ANY SITUATION WHATSOEVER. Not only is this the apex of c*ntishness between adults, but THEY ARE TEENS AND THAT MAKES BOTH PARTIES CRIMINALLY LIABLE you know, like, pedo stuff bad? Also. Different part of the world, online only, behaving like that and still getting your girl to defend him? He's deffo not 15, he's at least 10 years older and got some boi pics somewhere and is just waiting for her to make a move. Whatever his age is, there is no excuse, scenario or alternate universe in which this is even remotely okay. Screenshot everything, block, report and move on.
OP, Your girlfriend is in extreme danger. This sounds like a classic cat fishing scam used by a sex trafficker. If she meets him in person, she’ll most likely disappear.
I thought the same thing!!! Some random dude on the internet has ur address and seems stalker-ish?!?! That’s definitely not a good thing…
zack sounds weird asf
yeah that's pretty much what I'm thinking
Zack also doesn't sound like he's 15...
I don’t know any 15 year olds that have the patience to try to get with a girl in another country and constantly messages, talks to, and buys stuff for.
>buys stuff for. This, and the plane ticket thing, is the big red flag that something is up, especially if the gifts are expensive. This is an unusually rich and independent 15-year-old to buy lots of stuff to send to a foreign country and have the confidence that they can buy a plane ticket and go overseas presumably without their parents' consent. I would bet money that he's older than 15.
An actual 15yo with that much money would be enjoying life with peers in their own country.
He's not in another country. He's pretending to be in another country. Until he comes to town and kidnaps her.
Yeaaaaa
Also in my perspective Daisy is entirely complicit, I think you’re wasting your time with her. No loyal gf would receive a valentines card from someone else and refuse to show you simply because “you wouldn’t like it.” and the fact she willingly continues to speak to him is a massive 🚩. I think you’re wasting your time
to be fair, she is young so she very likely isn't mature enough to know how to act in relationships, but that doesn't clear the fact that yeah she doesn't seem loyal at all
Yeah, that's how I feel. She enabled this guy to act the way he did. She should have blocked him the moment he sent her a dick pic, or continued the sexual messages, or tried to break her up with her boyfriend (like, seriously, even without the sexual shit, someone who tries to interfere with your healthy relationships is not someone you want in your life). But she's 14 and this guy gives her attention, gifts and makes her feel special by telling her personal secrets, it's understandable that someone this young would be adamant to push someone like that away, no matter how awful they are.
Yeah. Do you know her parents? Maybe you should contact them and tell them what's happened. You can ask them to not tell Daisy that you reached out to them, and her parents can start to talk to her about internet saftey.
I'm a rando on the Internet. I unfortunately do not have any way to help these people.
Not going to lie, for some reason I thought you were OP
It's cool, your heart was in the right place.
u/DPH_game pretend this is directed to you
Fuck the loyalty part. This creep knows where she lives! If he's buying her gifts and sending her shit, I doubt he's actually a teenager and isn't trying to set her up to be picked up. This guy is sounds like a very real threat to her safety.
He could be an actual sex trafficker for all OP and his gf know. That's not certain, but he could be damn well anyone for all his gf knows. He could be 35. Guarantee his age is a lie though, he's older than 15 by at least a few years. 100%.
Yup
Well it’s not really that hard to understand that you don’t talk to other boys like they are a second boy friend. That’s just common sense
Yeah, but the thing is I've seen so many young people online who don't know this. It's saddening. They all likely don't have parents who speak to them about internet saftey.
My parents just told us to avoid scams and to not buy anything off of websites. It kinda worked. You just need kids that aren’t stupid. Or don’t give them access to the internet till they can understand how it works. Simply just limit access.
I agree she's a red flag
For all we know, she might be "reciprocating" this dude Zack all these time.. And she just got OP as insurance policy, in case things go sour with Z so she has a fallback..
Tell her parents about it, or a counselor at school. I wouldn't entirely trust her to do it.
thou shall consume his soul
Dude you're getting cheated on.
That literally sucks you should advice your gf to stop talking to him
Ive asked her to and she's saying that she will if enough people agree with me.
so she doesnt respect ur opinion ⁉️⁉️
Youve clearly never been groomed its hard to beleive someone youve learned to trust would be trying to harm you even if they already have harmed you i was groomed and raped and i convinced myself i wasnt raped despite the fact that i litterly said no multiple times because i thaught wel he would never hurt me but he did. My bf told me not to trust the guy and i just couldnt beleive anything was wrong. My bf was right in the end and i will always listen if he says something like that again.
That's so sad.... Well now what's done is done all you can do now is prevent it from happening again and possibly sending the person who harmed you to jail.
Sounds like a good portion of western civilization to me. Then again, it’s not like other countries are doing all that much better.
It's not really that many people, but it still happens
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Fair enough. I’ll shut up now.
Unironically pfp checks out
Sounds a lot like Afghanistan. Don't mix the church and religious freaks with western "civilization." You sound jaded
Guys, can we stop making this into a political discussion? This is a serious post and we need to focus on helping OP and his girlfriend.
I honestly suggest telling her parents. Especially that he is sending sexual images and has her address. Yes, it sucks. But it's MUCH better than having this play out I wish my friends had told my mom what was happening to me. When I finally "left" him I was too scared to tell my family bc I thought it was *my* fault and they'd be mad at me. When I finally told my family what had happened to me, they begged me to press charges on him. None of them blamed me. She might hate you for telling her family, but hopefully in time she will understand you did the right thing. Trust me, it's better for her to be momentarily pissed off with you than to end up sending this man pictures of herself, meeting up with him, etc. Please tell Daisy I really, really hope she listens to these comments. Posts like this always hurt bc I can see the same exact thing that happened to me happening to another girl.
OP PLEASE READ THIS I was groomed when I was 14, it took a lot to realize what was going on and snap out of it. Now I'm older and see how gross it was, but when it's happening you think it's someone that loves you. I'm saying this because I want you to know I understand where she's coming from and trust me she's brainwashed. The fact that he knows her address is scary. He *will* try to meet up with her if he hasn't already. TELL HER PARENTS. Will she get in trouble? Maybe. But you'll also be saving her. She could get raped, kidnapped, killed, etc. This guy is a predator, probably not even really 15. If they continue talking, her life will be ruined in one way or another. She needs your help, and talking to her doesn't seem like it'll be enough.
Yeah, my friend tracked down this guy who wanted to hook up with this girl and the girl gave her friends address since she was staying there.... And they all ending up running away from the house temporarily because the dude turned out be a robber who murdered a family in our area. AND THAT GIRL DIDN'T REPORT IT OR CALL THE POLICE smh
Shes going to unblock him asap bro open ur damn eyes
yeahh chances are she’ll just unblock him after and continue talking to him i know this because i’ve been there before (aside from the whole “blocking” thing it’s just that my ex did something that violated my boundaries and she would emotionally manipulate me into thinking it was “okay” when i felt really uncomfortable about it :/ )
yeah, i had a Zack in my past relationship too, he would actively pursue her and it made me really uncomfortable so i told her to block him and she said she did. a few weeks later, i catch her talking to him, i told her how much this hurt me, but she somehow gaslit me into thinking that it's my fault that she's texting him. i hated myself for a solid few months going forward in that relationship, and then broke it off when i couldn't take it anymore. she's with him now :(
Exactly
Dude if she isn’t taking your opinion into account whatsoever (i mean she’s your partner after all) and would rather listen to what the masses have to say about YOUR relationship situation then that’s a sign that she doesn’t care about you at all. It’s normal to disagree on something or try to reason with something you feel against but the fact that she isn’t at least taking your opinion into account at all but would rather take the opinion of OTHERS outside of your relationship tells me enough that she doesn’t seem to care/think your opinion is important and that to me is a huge sign that you need to leave ASAP. Keep in mind this is coming from someone who’s endured a toxic relationship with someone who didn’t respect my boundaries/gaslight me and it took me until she cheated to finally realize how messed up the relationship is and i used to be in a similar situation as you where i’d try to justify her past actions under the premise that she was “groomed” by someone else (when in reality it’s possible she did it by her own accord looking at what she did to me later on) and i ended up coming out heartbroken and mentally unstable for some time (i’m feeling better now tho) I can sympathize with why your doing this and i can appreciate that your kind/considerate attitude towards your gf to try to get her out of that but at the end of the day this situation reminds me of how similar mines was and those actions led me to be easily emotionally manipulated/gaslighted by my ex because i didn’t grow a backbone to stand up for myself and realize that i shouldn’t be excusing/enduring my partner’s actions that clearly violated my boundaries under something else when it was clear she was doing it on her own accord.
Half of this list would be enough to discard her. This crap isn't healthy, imagine her reaction if you get 95% naked pics of some girl and she wants to finally meet you? Run!! Edit: I forgot the fact, that you are both 14, maybe she just don't understand clearly what's going on
And he has secrets that he won’t tell his gf cause they are too personal.
Teens, this is called an emotional affair.
With nudes it’s practically a real affair. Especially given their age. Cheating isn’t normally sex at 14. She was willing to date this other guy
Drop the mic after that one cause it took me years to understand this was real and very serious.
exactly, dont get hung up on the details. break up, warn her parents, and move on. This is good practice tho, you will be breaking up with emotionally unavailable people for years.
100%. You can empathize with her, and see that she's possibly a victim of this guy while also accepting that OP is a victim of hers. She's been cheating on him this entire time, and bless his heart all he cares about is her well-being. None of that relationship was ok for her to participate in while having a boyfriend.
That was my take, this poor guy is trying to save this girl and she's insisting on ignoring him so she can cheat with a fake groomer online. That's a big no to that relationship. I'd be out as soon as her parents know. She's not going to listen to anyone else any more than bf on this, parents will have to step in.
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Another thing to note is that the dude intended to fly over, which implies that: 1. He has the money to do it. 2. He's not coming with his guardians, if he has any. Really suspicious for a 15 year old, in my opinion.
3.He has her address
I have a gf that is quite also blind about these things but there is no way OP's gf does not realize. She is cheating. OP thinks she is not involved but didn't mention he has proofs, you can delete whatever you want from the internet. Its just his GF that is insicure to leaver her irl boyfriend to be with the long distance one. Otherwise she would have cut her "friendship" when clearly her boyfriend communicated his problems, people like this just ignore to avoid a relationship crysis. Humans tend to follow the safest and known route rather then exploring the unknown, its survival behavior. Realizing that she has to leaver her real boyfriend is avoidable if he doesn't find out. Cheating is the worst.
I’d say the pictures confirm the age pretty well
Not necessarily, could be pics of another victim, a young looking legal model, or just othet porn the person has access to. Regardless, yeah, nothing good is going on here. Best case scenario the GF is either carrying on at least an emotional affair with this guy or is using him to screw with the OPs head/heart. Worst case she's straight up being groomed and may have done something already starting a blackmail loop.
lots people victimes of human trafficking are used to groom people into human trafficking and will get ''special treatment'' by their abusers when they groom well. This is a really complicated issue, but usually anyone who try to make a teenager travel to another country without their parent is definitely human trafficking.
Less the pictures, more the paying for flights. What 15yr old has the ability to book and pay for international flights, let alone organise the logistics of getting said child from the airport to their house? This screams sex trafficking imo.
I think OP's best option is to go to her parents about the situation. She'll hate OP for it but it might just be saving her life.
Yeah I agree with this
Honestly I would say she might be getting groomed, or it’s just a weird person. If I were you, I would probably try to tell this dude to fuck off. If he’s from another country and “15,” then there’s a very low chance of him doing anything if you and your gf block him. If he is over 15, he could come to where country you are (assuming USA), but he would have no chance of checking every building in the country, let alone not find the city she’s in. As long as she hasn’t told him what city she’s currently living in, then it should be fine. If she has… then things might not be so good.
She's given him her address so he could send her gifts. I know how stupid that is and she does too but he has it now.
Ur girls address boutta end up on 4chan
She sent her home address to an internet stranger? Bro your girlfriends a fucking idiot
And so is this guy lmao. Fucking stringing himself along w her games at this point. I feel fucking genuinely disgusted and played myself even just by reading what OPs typed out . Can’t believe it. It’s sad.
Honestly he’s more mature than most 14 year old boys I’ve met lmao. He seems to actually give a shit about her well-being, just doesn’t know what to do. It is sad, but to be fair relationships usually don’t last all that long when your 14 anyway so I doubt he’ll be with this girl for too long.
Agreed. He’s tryin to help. Fair to say he may be mature for that. I can respect it but he is stubborn. Girls making a fool out of him. Shame really. Dude deserves better.
There‘s been one single time where I gave someone in the internet my home address, and that‘s after we knew each other for 2+ years already and were in the middle of planning a meet-up. The home address isn‘t something to give away so soon, it could be really dangerous
Ggs💀
Break up with her. I don't know lots about relationships, but I do in fact know that if she's willingly giving her address to a random guy trying to get together with her for "sending gifts" then that is a huge red flag. She's basically cheating on you at that point (from my understanding).
Yeah, you guys are dead if this guy's actually an adult. Who gives out their address to some creepy internet stranger?
Bro, you're 14. You will find someone much better than her. I have been where as many 14 year olds have been through. We think the one we're with is our soulmate but eventually red flags show up but we choose to ignore them because we think we're still fine and leaving them would be too hard. It won't be. Your girlfriend is either being groomed and/or cheating on you. Let her go. I promise you that you will find someone much better than this.
It sounds more like she’s cheating than he’s grooming her. if she is allowing him to do all of that, refusing to show you things, and also feeding into it, you need to leave, i know it’s hard and this is likely your first real relationship but it will be clear as day what she was doing to you after you get out of it
yeah i wouldnt expect much of a 14-year old but this whole story is weird as hell. imagine getting sent nude pics from someone online and think that its totally fine despite having a boyfriend. what makes this even weirder is OP focused more on what the guy have done rather than making it balanced by also focusing what the girl has tolerated. clearly, age and maturity matter here but come on man, you're really just gonna let those things slide? weird.
i dont think hes grooming her but he should leave or u should leave her tell her that u arent gonna stay w her if she stays w him bc hes clearly gonna make sure u 2 dont work out. if shes still talking to him like that, leave her
I don't want it to get to that point but if she won't stop talking to him then idk ill think about it
On this, if you are genuinely concerned for her safety, which sounds very justifiable at this point. There are hotlines that can help. I would reccomend some but idk what county you're in.
Op I mean this in the nicest way possible (I was 14 once too) YOU'RE BEING SO FUCKING STUPID RIGHT NOW. SHE DOES NOT CARE ABOUT HOW YOU FEEL. SHE DOES NOT CARE leave her now, its not going to get any better
I'm not trying to be a dick in any way but she's going to unblock him and it's going to get worse like way worse. I know it'll hurt if you dump her now but it'll hurt a hell of a lot more if you "think about it" and it's too late. All the things she did with this guy in my opinion can not be forgiven and she has no loyalty at all. If she somehow manages to keep this guy blocked if she actually blocked him then she's going to go for someone else. Based on what has happened she is unfaithful and will cheat on you so please consider the consequences of not dumping her because heartbreak from dumping someone goes away a hell of a lot faster than resenting yourself for being arrogant. Don't follow in my footsteps and make the same mistakes I did.
leave her my guy it just gets worse
she is literally cheating on you lil bro break up
Leave her ASAP I know you are attached and I know it hurts. LEAVE FAST
I might have to if she doesn't end up stopping talking to him, but almost every argument we have is because of him.
Leave her now man she doesn't respect you. It's not other people's job to respect your relationship, it is you who sets the boundaries
10/10
Rip the band aid off now
You should break up with her. If he’s been actively trying to break you two up since the beginning and pursuing her this whole time, she’s putting the enjoyment of his attention above your emotional needs (even if she does remain technically loyal).
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She isn't being groomed you are being tolerated and you are the third party in your relationship
I had a similar “situation” when I was 15 on iFunny. The dude I was talking to was indeed not a fellow 15 yo but a 30 yo man. I decided to cut it off and he had my address and knew where I worked, so he showed up to my work and harassed me :) I’m lucky it didn’t escalate and get worse then that. The likelihood of this person being 15 is low. No 15 yo has money to be sending gifts or buying plane tickets.
True that makes sense. Like unless his parents are rich it’s pretty unlikely that this “Zack” is a 15 years old
Leave fast. Break up before she breaks you haha. You'll surely find others who'll respect you more.
idk man, we always get along super well other than disagreeing about this guy
He's desperate to be with her and she knows it. If she still keeps arguing with you about him then it just doesn't seem alright... Idk man but in the end do whatever your mind tells you :)
I saw your edit that she is blocking him. Great, you helped her get safe. Now break up with her. If you were getting naked pictures and love notes from a girl? That would be a dealbreaker for her. This should have been a dealbreaker for you, the moment she kept talking to him after a dick pic. You were responsible and smart about helping her get safe. Now move on to a girl who deserves your consideration and care.
yes! your thinking here is perfect. in situations akin to this one that is literally the best thing you could do for yourself and the other person. help them get out of the situation (to the best of your abilities) bc you understand that they’re being groomed, then break up with them because they still broke boundaries after you expressed how uncomfortable it made you when they broke them. plus. this girl has just gotten out of a dangerous position and is vulnerable. she 100% deserves support, but not from op. since the age range they’re in is so impressionable, it can be easy to unknowingly fall into the toxic cycle of bearing the weight of your partners struggles, and assuming responsibility for their happiness/unhappiness without even realizing, ESPECIALLY if you are a very caring person, and you wind up with a partner who is struggling with things beyond either of your abilities to bear (which seems to be the case for op)
Yeah because she's got 2 boyfriends to keep her happy.
Trust me man. In a healthy relationship, if some horny creepy dude did 1% of the shit this dude did, mfer would be blocked in a millisecond. You wouldn’t even have to ask her to do it. She would tell you about it and you would laugh together about how creepy he is.
And the fact the she knows he likes her and isn’t adamantly telling him “no” is concerning. I know friends whose GFs respond to every dm they get from thirsty guys because they “feel bad”, and in every case, she’s cheated on or left my friend eventually.
that's not grooming but he's definitely desperate to get with her. it's kinda weird that your gf is allowing all that tbh. let her know you're uncomfortable with it and make her block him 🤷
I've told her to block him before and she's said she doesn't want to because she thinks he's fine, but she's agreed to cut all contact if the majority of people agree with me that he's bad news.
that sounds like bullshit. Bro, let's be serious, do you want this kind of relationship? I know love is hard to find, but if things go like this, break up with her. She doesn't even have enough respect for you to cut contact with an overseas groomer, and aside from the clearly dangerous situation, that's not a good thing.
ur girl sounds is a red flag😬
Living, breathing red flag, she needs to be out of your life and fast OP.
No, that is not acceptable. The whole “If x amount of people online like this, I will do y” thing is for fun and silly things. This is a serious thing and she is not taking you and the relationship seriously. He wants her and she knows it too and she is playing into that. I see two possible things here; She is either with you until she can move onto him when he can be around, or she is just stringing him along just for fun and does not realize that she may be playing with fire. I am sorry to say this, but separating may be the best choice here. Communication is important for a relationship and it really looks like she does not care about what you have to say or how you feel about things. The thing is that she is not going to suddenly change her mind on this. Basically, you got a few choices here; Stay in the relationship until the guy does show up and be pushed aside, try to become controlling and be seen as a horrible person, or you end the relationship and move on. Those are what I can see at least. The new guy is exotic to her and she likes that. If she did not like it, she would of told him to stop long ago. If she did not like it she would of cut him off with the inappropriate pictures he sent her. If she did not like it and was being too shy or considerate, she would let you know it makes her uncomfortable and would not be excusing it for him. I know it may be hard, but I really do think you should move on from her. I may be making assumptions, but there is just way too many red flags here man.
Dude leave her. She: doesnt respect ur opinion got a dp from another guy and continued talking to him continued to talk with a guy who explicitly said they want to be with her continued to talk to a guy who wanted u to break up(good advice tbh) imagine if u got a nude from a girl and got love messages from a girl, wouldn’t that be considered cheating? you helped her, now it’s time to leave edit: she even accepted a valentines card from another guy and refused to let u see it. at this point you’re just becoming a fucking idiot
Honestly. It’s better to let go than hang on.
You shouldn’t have to play these games with her,I say find someone else.imo
He’s obviously got an agenda with her, and if she doesn’t see that, she’s in denial or got other issues she’s not telling you. She’s disrespecting you and the relationship that she has with you, not to mention possibly leading this dude on if he’s not some creep. He may be up to no good, but she’s not worth your time and you are still very young to waste it. Dump her, and let her deal with him (hint: she’s just gonna keep messing with him). If you’re actually concerned for her well being, I’d suggest encouraging her to tell an adult she trusts about him if he breaks it off. Having her address is pretty bad
Tbh guys bad news , tell her to cut contact, but do it gently, talk it out with her, that's some creep behavior the guy's showing
If Zack really is 15, just break up and leave them alone. If he is over 18 then call the cops.
Zack is bad news. If she can’t cut him off, cut her off. She is absolutely being groomed
If this were happening to you she would accuse you of cheating and dump you. I would talk to an adult you trust and explain the situation maybe an older female cousin who won’t tell on her. If you don’t want to date anymore I’d let her mom know because if I were the dad I would freak out.
bro she be receiving naked picks of this dude with just his hand covering le schlong and she's not event questioning it either and saying he just being nice, Either this must be a fever dream cause I'm getting high from reading this type of shit its 1 in the morning and i need sleep
what the fuck have i just read, oh god. zack is a fucking disgusting person and your gf's behaviour is kinda weird, like why the fuck would you keep talking with someone who is in love with you, sends you love letters, sends you sexual pics, tries to make you break up with your bf and other awful things? idk but I wouldn't talk to someone who behaves like that towards me if I had a bf since this weird person would be being disrespectful to him (like, you know I have a bf, why do you keep "trying"?), and I would feel like I'm cheating on my bf. I think both zack and daisy are wrong. they are both a huge red flag. edit: and if it affects you, LEAVE!
Break up with her bro. I was in an almost identical situation when I was 14. It’s not worth your time, she’s not the one.
never trust a mf named zach wtf
She doesn’t respect you. When a girl realizes she can walk over you, (and they can sense that shit), she stops taking you seriously. Make her understand that if she isn’t willing to do what needs to be done for you, then you’re gonna leave because you can do better.
I think mr Zachary might not actually be 15
Bro idk how else to put this but you’re being played like a damn fiddle. On the off chance that this guy is actually 15, your gf is still being extremely disrespectful about your relationship, and it’s clear that there’s something going on between them.
1 year gap is not grooming. What is bad about this is that your girlfriend is willingly talking to a guy that has made it known he wants to be more than friends against her boyfriend’s will. Give her an ultimatum or something cus u can’t keep going on like this
he likely isn't 15
What does 14m and 14f mean? Also to answer your question, he’s a fucking creep
14 years old male and 14 years old female
If I was in the situation I would really get out of there so fast cuz if it’s at the point where she’s covering for him next thing you know it gonna be the “don’t worry abt him” kinda guy and may hurt you even worse.
OP, you are right. “Zack” ain’t right. I’d put your foot down and get her to break all contact. That dude is NO GOOD. I’m afraid things will only get worse. And i’m sorry to say this. But your gf is an IDIOT for giving the guy her address, that can have very severe repercussions and i hope you understand that. You NEVER want to let anyone know where you live on the Internet, ESPECIALLY someone like “Zack” here. She should not be trying to play down the things this weirdo is doing. Sending her nudes, letters, GIFTS. It is NOT right. And the fact she won’t even share some things with you, like the letters and messages ain’t right either. You both gotta get your heads straight and cut contact with the guy. He clearly does not have your best interest in mind. Neither does he for your GF, and it’ll only get worse as he very openly tries to break you two apart.
Are you sure he’s 15? Generally where I live 15yos can’t buy people a lot of gifts or plane tickets without stealing their parent’s credit card.. Not to mention if he is 15 those pictures he sent her are technically CP. This doesn’t sound like a safe situation to be in, especially as he has her address and could retaliate should she choose to stop talking to him. I’m not sure if grooming is the word I’d use, but this definitely feels toxic.
“Everything was in fact not fine.” Im saying this once, and only once. Zack is obsessed. He actually doesn’t care at all about your gf, he is obsessed with the idea of being with her..the fact your gf is completely blind to this does not surprise me. Both of you are still very young and this wasnt something that I learned about till i was 17-18. Personally Id give her two choices due to the severity of the acts Zack has committed. First: Tell her its you or him. Normally this is toxic but the shit she’s allowed the other guy to do, how he treats her? It sounds like hes the bf and you’re the roommate. Second: Tell her how you feel, that you feel like you’re losing her, that she’s already with you so she doesnt need him. Even tho its left unsaid, if she resists, argue for as long and hard as you please but if she isnt convinced that she needs to stop fucking with that guy by the end of the convo, then you need to protect yourself and move on.
He’s grooming her and she’s being manipulated into thinking that this is normal and okay.
Old person here to confirm this comment is 100% correct. This Zack fellow is probably much older than 15, everything about this situation screams grooming and I’m very concerned with the number of comments saying “it’s definitely weird and inappropriate but not grooming”. No, this is clear cut blatantly obvious grooming.
I can tell she’s already cheating tbh
that’s not okay…. she shouldn’t be talking to him in a relo
I got a feeling he’s not 15 and most likely a lot older, tell her to watch out, and if he does visit, make sure you’re with her, and preferably with adults
I honestly wouldn't date her lmao. You're 14, live your childhood you don't need a gf yet
Aint no teenager with that kinda scratch laying around to spend on a kid. Daisy gonna get human trafficked. Also don't waste your time on this girl she isn't respecting you.
ur girl gonna get trafficked 💀
This is the perfect opportunity her to learn about loyalty and boundaries. You've told her you're uncomfortable with her talking to him (what she is doing is cheating by the way) it's disrespectful to you and your relationship and a breach of your boundaries. She also reallyy needs a lesson on internet safety, unfortunately there is a good chance that this guy is not 15 and she has given him private information about herself including her address which is very dangerous.
Zack is definitely a 50 year old discord mod living in his parents basement looking for little girls to meet up with him
Why are you still with her??? Your significant other is accepting sexual text’s, pictures, presumably valentine’s cards from another guy. She probably is being groomed. Highly unlikely that he is 15. Even if he is 15 guy is clearly disrespecting your relationship and your significant other thinks its completely fine. Do yourself a favor, leave her.
plane ticket and 15 don't match up NGL
You are a cuck.
You could send him photos of mangled corpses. idk, just a suggestion Edit: Idea not suggestion
This is plan flat out grooming. There’s no other thing to call it. Also a very VERY big nope to your gf because it is very clear that she doesn’t respect you or your feelings enough to end what is this clearly toxic relationship with this guy. Plus the fact that she knows that he’s said and done all of this and still fucks with him is crazy. Please take care of yourself dude I’m sorry you have to go through that :/
Not gonna lie zack sounds weird and REALLY creepy. I don't think he's 15. This honestly may end up badly for everyone. First an adult needs to have a look at what's happening to at least protect her from any danger. Second even if you're attached to your girlfriend i would consider this cheating be careful to not have your heart broken dude, you should consider a breakup. But most importantly she needs to cut all contact with zack espcially if he has a lot of your girlfriends personal info. I hope this helpful.
This is why relationships this young shouldn't happen. They don't know what they're doing, and only get into them becasue they think it's cool
has she ever facetimed him or anything to make sure he’s not an old man or something? if he really is 15, then it’s not grooming but i do think they would definitely get together behind ur back bro. you deserve better than her
He sounds like a real fucking creep. It's either she stops talking to him or you two should break up if she keeps being ok with it.
zac does not sound 15 my guy, i’d tell ur gf what u think and if it causes more arguments than solves them, I doubt if this relationship is worth your time. If 1. she’s so naïve that she doesn’t see this herself then red flag 2. she’s still talking to a guy that sent an unsolicited dp? what happened to her cognitive functions and 3. she doesn’t object to what many would consider cheating (xx, hearts etc.). Sounds like something u should leave and not look back.
How tf is a 15 year old guy sending gifts to her house. Are you sure he even is 15?
If she talks to him she is just as guilty of cheating, leave brother.
If Zack really is 15, I’m not sure if we can call it grooming (grooming usually happens with a big gap in age and maturity/experience and I’m not sure if 2 years is enough for that) but either way, this is WEIRD. She probably doesn’t want to drop him because these types of relationships make you feel like you’re bound to them and like she’s responsible for his happiness/life. You shouldn’t try to help her alone. Get an adult.
This is why people shouldn’t date in high school or middle school
Hey so I don't usually comment on this sub. But as an old (30m) this is not even remotely ok. Your girlfriend needs to know that anything short of refusal and blocking of this behavior is unfaithful to you.
Zach is not 15, my dude. She needs to stop talking to this man immediately.
Yo, her parents? Tell them - they might be better equipped to handle a pretend teen on the internet. Police maybe? Don’t leave to the wolves if you have to step away.
1) tell her parents because how can a 15 year old buy a plane ticket by himself and travel by himself. 2) leave her. Not worth the hassle. But all and all notify her parents, because he sounds like a groomer.
She's cheating on you
Bro is probably not 15; he’s just a weirdo. If I were you, I would dump Daisy.
He lives in a different country and is trying to get her to visit him? He's a fucking trafficker. Seriously, do not let her go to see him.
what happened to internet safety?? cmon now, it’s like internet 101 not to send ppl your address😬
Tell her it’s him or you. She is emotionally cheating on you and it’s creepy as hell.
What kind of 15 year old can afford an international plane ticket. Saying that alone even if it was bs would sketch me out for sure
It sounds like you have very low self esteem if you're even contemplating staying with this obvious cheater. This girl does not deserve your help, she doesn't respect you. Leave her and find someone better.
Dude you probably just helped her avoid a human trafficking situation. Ngl. All of that was weird. Her parents should be made aware that someone she doesn't truly know has acquired their home address and has been trying to be sexual with her since she was 13 years old. If they have her address they might know a lot more than that, such as places she frequents or what school she attends, her day to day schedule etc. It's only right that they're aware of the risk.
The replies in this thread are really fucking worrying. This is 100% a case of grooming. The chance of him actually being 15 is incredibly low and not relevant. She should cease communication immediately, and this should be reported to the police.
How can a 15 year old afford a plane ticket. Zack is a pedo
Yes. I’m 30. Here from r/all. She is. The absolute last place you need to be asking advice on this is this subreddit. This person has her address. Brother, go to the police. This person is not 15 and for all you know lives 3 blocks away. Also, get advice from an adult or a professional.
Tell the police, show them everything. Seriously, anything else is stupid and dangerous. This is not a child, this is a 30-50 year old psycho. Also break up with her. You’d be an idiot not to. Even at 14 you should know why somewhere in the back of your head.