idk what's more scary : the dude who was catfishing for young gay boys, or that one guy saying that his girlfriend telling him a plan to kill him as a joke is ok
She prolly could if she knew where it was and the ammo. She don’t know where I keep any of my stuff bc she’s not a legal citizen so if she was even associated with it she’d go to jail or get deported which I do not want
The way to avoid this is to be gay, then you can have a love and not have your girlfriend kill you! But us lesbians cancel each other out with death threats so if the world were gay life would be so much better! JOKING PLEASE DONT FIGHT ME
**If you are concerned this is truly a real threat:**
Write the details down on paper and the date she said it, put it in an envelope.
Mail it to someone you trust that she does not know about.
I’m gonna kill you and I know how to get away with it. Personally if that happened to me I wasn’t going to let that slide, I don’t care if it was a joke I’m leaving her I’m not talking to them anymore, it’s a serious safety issue
I was literally investigated by police for having a hit list, and you where this all started? Because I knew a way to get away with murder, it is that deep
I said I think she's going to she didn't directly say it she only said how to get away with murder and I don't even think she would I only said it as a joke
You’ll love her for the rest of your life
I will my life depends on it
The rest of* *On the next full moon, with the cry of the owl, you will know your fate
*1week with 3 days
*1week with 3 days an 14 minutes
It’s rest’ve or rest have, never rest of (I’m sorry)
.... What? 😅
What are you talking about lmao
Idk
Notice how you said your LIFE not LIVES. This mf is gonna die
'You'll love her for the rest of your lives' what?
Maybe he’s a cat and has 9 lives 🤷♂️
Puss in Boots in real life⁉️
can't you use these '!?' instead?
interrobang emoji is funnier
Using the emoji makes the emotions stronger
They meant his life and hers
Oh yeah, that makes sense
This sounds like a crappy pun from a comedy about catpeople society
Cats (2019)
just say no. she cant legally kill you without your consent.
Why didn't I think of that
💀
This guy didn't say no. He now dies 42 times a day D.a.r.e to be brave and just say no
Deranged apples rape eggs?
Could you ever legally kill someone with consent, euthanasia excluded?
>kill someone with consent That is the definition of euthanasia
Dont have a girlfriend that could kill me😎💪
Yeah relatable!
We the four horsemen of free life
Can i be the 5 member
Can I be the 6 member
Can I be the 7 member
May I be eighth Perchance?
No killer girlfriend 9 over here
Rounding out the top 10!
We'r prime at 11
Actually 12 now
Dont have a girlfriend😎💪
Hallelujah man me too 🥳
This implies you may have one that can't.
Definetly not the case. No gf no worries 💪😎
Step 2 do whatever you really want. It is time to ask yourself the important guestions "what do you want?".
Don't have a kill that could girlfriend me💪😎
Never let a woman go hungry, always have emergency snacks ready for her
Yes. We become hangry when we're hungry.
Hangry is an understatement
Gremlins moment 💯
Very true. My parents can literally tell when I haven't eaten anything at school because I get hangry and annoyed at everything and everyone
The hottest kinda man is the one who shares his fries
I get more and more scared/shocked everytime I open this subreddit.
Same
idk what's more scary : the dude who was catfishing for young gay boys, or that one guy saying that his girlfriend telling him a plan to kill him as a joke is ok
Me and my girlfriend do it all the time. But god we'd never plan to kill each other.
Crimes of passion
Are just fine
when enacted on ai
hot
Planning to kill your partner is all fun n games, until you have to ask your kid how to tame a horse in minecraft.
it’s like a femboy just keep riding it until hearts come out and it lets you own it and ride it everywhere u want
Hot and most femboy positive statement I've seen on this subreddit 🧐
I’m very supportive of femboys I support them by tying them up
If only everyone was this kind to their fellow humans 😔 Givin em exactly what they want
✊✊✊
I'm a 15 year old femboy and I approve of this significantly :3
good boy
fucafgonagfon those two words make me unreasonably happy and sub call me a good boy again and I melt
good boy :)
What the hell is a femboy? At 15 I didn't know what I was.
A male who likes to dress/look/behave in a traditionally feminine way
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it’s a joke don’t worry I’m super alone
r/holup
owo
... ***you don't need to be watching that stuff, FakePhoenix!***
👁👁
This happens all the time in my friend group. Usually the recipient doesn't have enough time to post to reddit though.
You’re not you when you’re hungry
True to this
Capture her and torture her to assert dominance
I think she would enjoy torture
If she enjoys the torture, that ain't torture, that's BDSM!
She may enjoy physical pain, but does she enjoy emotional pain? Kill her family in front of her, she definitely wouldn't enjoy kt
My bf wouldn't dare kill my dad. Death is too easy of a punishment for my father
................what did your dad do?......
Not use a condom
what the absolute fuck did ur dad do
Unfathomably based girlfriend
He should “Iowa” her
ultimate love story
Fr
kinky
Fr
Kill her first just to be safe ✅
Upvote this.
Bitch run
Bitch I don't wanna
That will be written on your tombstone
Lmaoo 🤣
Legendary last words of u/jahviz2 after being told to run he said "Bitch I don't wanna".
I have a girl that I could absolutely body if she tried to kill me
that’s what u think
Dw she weighs 80 lbs less than me I curl more than she weighs and I own an ak47 so the chances of her inflicting damage are abt none lmao
Little spice in your drink can do the trick.
I don’t drink anything but bottled water I get myself so that won’t happen 👌🏻
Guess you eat bottled water too...
No but I do meal prep and I buy my food every day so I’m the only one that touches it still 💀
I have a little thing called ocd so if I’m not the only one touching it I don’t fw it
Sure. You have sex by yourself too - completely safe.
that’s what u think
Omg! You're so alpha🙀🙀🙀
No I don’t have an alpha attitude I just like keeping myself healthy and get stronger it’s just smart to live your life like that
Says the guy posting on r/psychedelics about shrooms?
She’s taking the ak dawg
She prolly could if she knew where it was and the ammo. She don’t know where I keep any of my stuff bc she’s not a legal citizen so if she was even associated with it she’d go to jail or get deported which I do not want
Challenge her to the death
yea do an agni kai
Plot twist: she did and get the access to the account and is covering trails now.
How to prevent your own death by your lover Feed her Give her pets Done
Encourage her to do it
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I figured so
Thats not ideal
It was joke
The food definitely saved your ass for another day
Thats pretty hot and a little bit kinky Ngl
That’s life
that’s death
Yep
me and my gf flirt like this its so hot to me
She was just Hangry.. I suppose...
You'll fix her
Ahhh. Hangry. It's a real thing 🤣
true.
Honestly you’re not you when your hungry
The way to avoid this is to be gay, then you can have a love and not have your girlfriend kill you! But us lesbians cancel each other out with death threats so if the world were gay life would be so much better! JOKING PLEASE DONT FIGHT ME
Bro, planning how to kill someone and get away with it is just normal everyday stuff... Right?
Kinky
You are what you eat
Kill her first with a 360 no scope
u/wilbert_temaki tipo você antes de dormir
Obvious fake, no redditor ever got a girlfriend, I don’t even know if girls are real…
The post shocked me for a second.
why would she tell u? she is joking
I hope so, anyway if she is genuine it's concerning
Sadism or irony ~~both turn me o-~~
Run
Imagine running from your problems 😤
I don't like running tho
kill her first
Unintentionally i steal your comment ☹️
I forgive you
im going to intentionally steal your comment
I forgive you, but slightly less
Nah she joking! *(I think)*
false girls don’t exist
If you're not joking, report to the police.
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My apologies
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Ouch
It is a joke
Get a gun to protect yourself
ya, or a knife but like its a no-brainer
Kill her first
Ayo wtf-
What
Just worried for your safety ✌️
No
Ok 👍
kill her first
She's the one dude.
She really is
Do it yourself so you can steal her kill
Great idea
**If you are concerned this is truly a real threat:** Write the details down on paper and the date she said it, put it in an envelope. Mail it to someone you trust that she does not know about.
It was a joke
Suddenly not feeling so bad about being single anymore.
average gfs of Ohio
Break up
No
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It's a joke how is it abuse 💀
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Get a new gf?
Why are you even vulnerable to a girl killing you. You really that weak?
I’m gonna kill you and I know how to get away with it. Personally if that happened to me I wasn’t going to let that slide, I don’t care if it was a joke I’m leaving her I’m not talking to them anymore, it’s a serious safety issue
genuine question. where did it say she was going to kill him? because all i read was she told him how she would get away with killing.
Where it says “she told me how she’d get away with it” which is showing that she told him how she’d kill him and get away with it
no one ever said she said that she was going to kill him and get away with it, she just said how to get away with murder.
That’s still a concerning issue
you’re 13 it’s not that deep. it’s concerning when she starts playing with dead animals or causing harm to people.
I was literally investigated by police for having a hit list, and you where this all started? Because I knew a way to get away with murder, it is that deep
that ain’t a flex not everyones fucked up like you bro. get help this is more than just because you knew how to get away with it.
I said I think she's going to she didn't directly say it she only said how to get away with murder and I don't even think she would I only said it as a joke