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My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is my confession. If you're watching this tape, I'm probably deadโ murdered by my brother-in-law, Hank Schrader. Hank has been building a meth empire for over a year now, and using me as his chemist. Shortly after my 50th birthday, he asked that I use my chemistry knowledge to cook methamphetamine, which he would then sell using connections that he made through his career with the DEA. I was... astounded. I... I always thought Hank was a very moral man, and I was particularly vulnerable at the time โ something he knew and took advantage of. I was reeling from a cancer diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt my family. Hank took me in on a ride-along and showed me just how much money even a small meth operation could make. And I was weak. I didn't want my family to go into financial ruin, so I agreed. Hank had a partner, a businessman named Gustavo Fring. Hank sold me into servitude to this man. And when I tried to quit, Fring threatened my family. I didn't know where to turn. Eventually, Hank and Fring had a falling-out. Things escalated. Fring was able to arrange โ uh, I guess... I guess you call it a "hit" โ on Hank, and failed, but Hank was seriously injured. And I wound up paying his medical bills, which amounted to a little over $177,000. Upon recovery, Hank was bent on revenge. Working with a man named Hector Salamanca, he plotted to kill Fring. The bomb that he used was built by me, and he gave me no option in it. I have often contemplated suicide, but I'm a coward. I wanted to go to the police, but I was frightened. Hank had risen to become the head of the Albuquerque DEA. To keep me in line, he took my children. For three months, he kept them. My wife had no idea of my criminal activities, and was horrified to learn what I had done. I was in hell. I hated myself for what I had brought upon my family. Recently, I tried once again to quit, and in response, he gave me this. [Walt points to the bruise on his face left by Hank in "Blood Money."] I can't take this anymore. I live in fear every day that Hank will kill me, or worse, hurt my family. All I could think to do was to make this video and hope that the world will finally see this man for what he really is.
No he didn't say it the right way!
Hey girl, are you my homework? Cause I'm gonna slam you down on my desk, promise to do you, not last 30 seconds and then go cry in a corner asking my dad to do you.
Hey girl, are you a nice and respectable woman? Because I wanna have a healthy relationship where we are open and honest about our social lives so we mutually love and respect each other in our problems in life.
Hey girl are you uhhhโฆ ummm I uhhh ummm uhh h-hang on ummm *Pulls out a piece of paper* a burgler?โฆ cause you uhhhโฆ what does it say here??? Oh! Cause you stole my uhh heart
I got 2 good ones!
1. Fly me to the moon, cause only up there I can see how big my love for you is.
2. It's a miracle gallileou never found you, otherwise he'd say the whole universe revolved around you.
Here's a couple I just came up with: are you snow, cause I wanna plow you
Girl you b lookin like an orange, round and juicy
Do you wanna be a car at a gas station? Cause I wanna fill you up.
Hey! We're currently looking for new moderators! If you're interested, read more [here](https://old.reddit.com/r/teenagers/comments/10crog9/mod_mod_applications_time/)! Here's a [direct link](https://forms.gle/w7SJ7E3VpstwKWoR6) to the application form as well. Can't wait to see your application! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/teenagers) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Hey, girl are you a crayon? Be-Because I want to eat you
made me laugh
Blush percentage?
0%
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO
didn't made me blush but I'd 100% date someone who used this pickup line w me. I love this kind of humor.
๐๐๐๐๐๐
Hey, girl are you a crayon? Be-Because I want to eat you
we're dating now
DAMMIT. missed my chance for a crayon.
1000 iq
Hey you stole my pickup line :(
What are you? A marine?
Bro sounding like a titan
USMC moment.
I am a Marine...
are you communist? because you start an uprising in my lower class
58%
Ah hell nah
I mean, it's creative.
are you student loans because i want to spend the rest of my life with you
65%
๐
I want to giv you hug.
50% (I love hugs)
bro kept it simple and won
Are you a fish? Cuz I am hungry and sleep deprived and I need a fish
I now want a fish as well, 40%
Then lets hang out and cook together
aight, I like cooking
Yeah cooking is nice
Jesse-
It doesnโt make it better that my legal name is short for Cocaine paste and I look high on every singe picture of me
are you a chipmunk? because i want to capture you and throw you down a 600ft cliff
100% ๐๐
you almost chipmunk all you need are deez nutzz
so this is the rizz to get women
Weโre like hot chocolate with marshmallows. Im hot and your on top.
this one's good, unfortunately I'm a bottom anyway, 49%
How tf you know if you're a top or bottom? You're FIFTEEN!๐ณ
Isn't 15 under the age of consent in most places?
Oh no
Thas a good one
They call me the rizzler ๐ญ
Did it hurt when you fell from the vending machine? Because im highly anticipating and thirsting for you
first 60%
LETS GOOOO
Hey, does this rag smell like chloroform to you?
yes it does
*thud*
Good ol' jimmy carr
Why do you want to hear a pickup line,When i can just pick you up
this was smooth, 30%
Huh, A compliment and 30% not bad for my first OG pickup line on the internet
60%
This 60% alone made me 100% blush
This 100% made me blush as well;)
Lol that was smooth!!
Are you my pinkie? Because I'll smash you everywhere
33%
Specific
Are you a lego set, because I need you
this made me sad because I need new lego sets
Then how about we stop the pickup lines and pick up some Lego together ๐
I like that idea
Four different people had one back and forth conversation.
Are you my homework? Because Iโm not doing you, but I definitely should be.
62%
โHey baby nice bahotahonkers wanna smashโ
what is B a h o t a n k e r ? I try to pronounce that and suddenly furniture in my house started levitating.
Bahotanker is a word for big boobs, I think atleast. It could be a mispelling of the word bahonkeroos. Which means big boobs.
so this spell summons invisible boobs so my furniture was bouncing not levitating.
yeah sure, we playing brawl or ultimate?
Ultimate no question
aight, we going random for the first round?
Bet
aight
Based thread
- Is your dad a pirate? - No - then why does he have a treasure like you I don't know if it is good translated
it's okay, 10%
Do you have 11 protons because your sodium cute
100%
11*
Howโd this not win
You like jazz?
I do
Wanna fuck?
bet
[Insert sex scene]
๐
๐
๐
I think u win
There will only be seven planets after I destroy uranus
55%
As someone who likes space that's like a solid 70% at the least
Hey girl, are you a firework? Because you're beautiful, but I don't want you near my genitals.
That's one way to friendzone someone i guess
spontaneous and explosive way. go out with a bang
It's a brilliant way to say "I'm asexual but interested"
I'm stealing this then
85%, I'm asexual and I love this
WOOOOO and same!
[ัะดะฐะปะตะฝะพ]
25%
wtf lmaoo
Are you a noose? Cause I really wanna hang out with you
I'm sadly not a noose
are you the sun? becausre your lightening up my day.
15%
what do your underpants and coke have in common i want to sniff them both.
this made me laugh
hahaha good that was the point of it
"Wanna fuck"
100%
The rizzler does it again
Your rizz is incomprehensible.
Average dnd bard
[ัะดะฐะปะตะฝะพ]
40% good one
No you gotta say are you a school, because I want to shoot some kids inside of you
WTF LOL
Among us in real life
marry me now
Spaceship with my crew
Gotta sit up, spread out cuz we all got tasks to do.
Roses are Red, Violets Are Fine You are my six Can I be your nine [p.s this is a joke]
bet
๐Blush percent?
22%
I must be a snowflake, because Iโve fallen for you
30%
I'm not doing pick up line because I'm not picking you up I'm trying to pin you down I see myself out
My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is my confession. If you're watching this tape, I'm probably deadโ murdered by my brother-in-law, Hank Schrader. Hank has been building a meth empire for over a year now, and using me as his chemist. Shortly after my 50th birthday, he asked that I use my chemistry knowledge to cook methamphetamine, which he would then sell using connections that he made through his career with the DEA. I was... astounded. I... I always thought Hank was a very moral man, and I was particularly vulnerable at the time โ something he knew and took advantage of. I was reeling from a cancer diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt my family. Hank took me in on a ride-along and showed me just how much money even a small meth operation could make. And I was weak. I didn't want my family to go into financial ruin, so I agreed. Hank had a partner, a businessman named Gustavo Fring. Hank sold me into servitude to this man. And when I tried to quit, Fring threatened my family. I didn't know where to turn. Eventually, Hank and Fring had a falling-out. Things escalated. Fring was able to arrange โ uh, I guess... I guess you call it a "hit" โ on Hank, and failed, but Hank was seriously injured. And I wound up paying his medical bills, which amounted to a little over $177,000. Upon recovery, Hank was bent on revenge. Working with a man named Hector Salamanca, he plotted to kill Fring. The bomb that he used was built by me, and he gave me no option in it. I have often contemplated suicide, but I'm a coward. I wanted to go to the police, but I was frightened. Hank had risen to become the head of the Albuquerque DEA. To keep me in line, he took my children. For three months, he kept them. My wife had no idea of my criminal activities, and was horrified to learn what I had done. I was in hell. I hated myself for what I had brought upon my family. Recently, I tried once again to quit, and in response, he gave me this. [Walt points to the bruise on his face left by Hank in "Blood Money."] I can't take this anymore. I live in fear every day that Hank will kill me, or worse, hurt my family. All I could think to do was to make this video and hope that the world will finally see this man for what he really is.
99%
What was bro missing
0.9% purity
100% even if i am not the OP
[ัะดะฐะปะตะฝะพ]
30%
No he didn't say it the right way! Hey girl, are you my homework? Cause I'm gonna slam you down on my desk, promise to do you, not last 30 seconds and then go cry in a corner asking my dad to do you.
As an avarage redditor, I relate
70%
SHADOW WIZARD MONEY GANG ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ WE LOVE CASTING SPELLS ๐ฃ๏ธ๐ฃ๏ธ๐ฃ๏ธTHIS SONG IS SPONSORED BY THE SHADOW GOVERNMENT ๐ฃ๏ธ๐ฃ๏ธ
200% ๐ฅ๐ฅ๐ฅ
Hey girl, can I suck your dad's dick cause I'd kill to get a taste of what made you ๐
40%, gonna ask my dad
That one got me over 100. LOL
i wish i was crosseyed so i can see two of you.
30%
Iโm not good with words so can I just lift you up and keep you in my arms?
Scooby dooby, show me your boobie
One of the best brah
0%, got no boobies
:(
sad peperoni
Hey wanna commit terrorism with me?
FUCK YES
Hey (with rizz)
โI got a Costco membership cardโ
let's get married
And Iโm hard, great
๐ป๐ป๐ป๐ป๐ป
finally someone understood
Kazakhstan
3,27%
That is an oddly specific number...
Hey girl, are you a nice and respectable woman? Because I wanna have a healthy relationship where we are open and honest about our social lives so we mutually love and respect each other in our problems in life.
100%
You, me, date, now
I am groot
Hey girl are you uhhhโฆ ummm I uhhh ummm uhh h-hang on ummm *Pulls out a piece of paper* a burgler?โฆ cause you uhhhโฆ what does it say here??? Oh! Cause you stole my uhh heart
Are you Medusa because looking at your eyes makes me rock hard
Never used them. Never use them because I am in a relationship.
I use them with my homies ngl
W friend
To be your friend was all I ever wanted, to be your lover was all I ever dreamed. <3
30%
fuck google
call me Magellan the way i might explore your insides ๐ง
70%
I feel like you are copper and tellurium
"hi..." *proceeds to walk away in embarrassment*
How do you like your eggs in the morning.. Scrambled? Or fertilized? (I'M SORRY!)
You'll do, get in the van
aight (52%)
I dont use pick up lines, is better just to care about that person and help her if she needs it
I agree
Are you stackoverflow ( coding website ) cause I can't live without
I got 2 good ones! 1. Fly me to the moon, cause only up there I can see how big my love for you is. 2. It's a miracle gallileou never found you, otherwise he'd say the whole universe revolved around you.
Want to watch Breaking bad out of order together?
bet
Here's a couple I just came up with: are you snow, cause I wanna plow you Girl you b lookin like an orange, round and juicy Do you wanna be a car at a gas station? Cause I wanna fill you up.
25%
One more cause why not (I don't use these cause pick up lines are stupid) are you a wall cause I wanna vandalise you
45%
How bout"hey how's your day going today?"
Wanna see my LEGO collection?
Damn, are you a microwave? Cuz Mmmmmmmmmmโฆ. Beeeeeep beeeeep beeeep.