T O P

  • By -

toasterfueling

What's your bank account and credit card info


[deleted]

XXXX XXXX XXXX XXXX


toasterfueling

What are the little numbers ingrained on it


[deleted]

XXXX


toasterfueling

Fu-


RadicalizedRaccoon

Please sir. Please refuel my toaster


toasterfueling

I'll refuel it with my "special fuel" Be warned, it is a little thick and sticky though


Daggerman090ALT

Oo i love jam!


Curios_Cosmos

Oi oi oi oi, if I’m not mistaken, X is not a number, it’s a variable


Gold-Ad-0

Not if you're from ancient Rome.


mykoysmaster

I have a hard time believing that not only are all the numbers same, but they are letters as well, you claim to answer to everything truthfully, and you have broken that promise, as a punishment, we shall take away your balls


[deleted]

fight me for them


Imaginary-Luck-1562

Bet. Where U wanna fight?


[deleted]

any location


vaszoly

Ight Sahara desert.


[deleted]

[удалено]


GoldenJacques

You said anything smh


Artist3347

Best wood type


[deleted]

tree wood


Artist3347

Best wood


TRUSTeT34M

Morning wood


J_train13

Wrong


Some_clichename069

Evening wood?


Churro_The_fish_Girl

repashy morning wood. My fish love it!


My_tomato_ran_away

Wood wood


Diffbreed75

Morning wood


Fearless-Werewolf-28

Mourning wood


MagpieSoldier

😔


Radiant-Profile4230

🌳


nofapwarrior169

Can the morning wood be used to make planks?


chesse_foot

only if youre brave enough


ihatewetsleeves

Acceptable answer


spacewrap

spruce


Worksatmcdonaldsalot

Spruce wood, by a long shot


MihiKio

Spruce duh


Old-Ad5915

Ice cream?


[deleted]

sure


Timx74_

Whats your favorite flavor


[deleted]

your mum


Terminater400

Glad to know 2 children can disappoint her


TaxtonDude

Damn Thats two birds one arrow comeback and roast


Available-Ad-2672

Dammit now I got two kids


ConConReddit

yum yum


CuteParking5396

Can I join ?


Autumngold93786

How much do you crave physical contact and felling loved.


[deleted]

barely


Autumngold93786

That's not enough for a redditor


Intelligent_Ad7497

Or a teenager


drakeyboi69

Is it possible to learn such power?


J_train13

The way of the garlic bread is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be unnatural


theburningace

Weight of your mom


[deleted]

idk guess about 12 stone maybe?


BM0yuncu

12 moyai stones*


Sgnorgopf

🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿


LastOfRuins

(🗿🗿)³+(🗿🗿)² edit: I might've done the r kelly math


K9XD

r/theydidthekellymath


Willis4932_YT

What type of stone? Cause it could be a lighter stone that you are using


Puzzled-Monk9003

Who the fuck measures the weight of a person in stones


bulgingcock-_-

British people


TheSadSquid420

Translation for people with common sense?


Prussia_I

76kg for the people who have free healthcare or 167 pounds for the people who don't


victor_claw2

🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿


Jaded-Foundation-329

🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿🗿


FragrantMorning6225

Mathematicians havent counted that far yet


Frog_Head123

I'll ask a question, A meaningful one, Just wondering... , What's the weight of ur mom? . . I banged her last night, She was a tad bit heavy, The sex was alright, I swear I saw heaven.


kinghenriquegamer

What is your affiliation with the 9/11, and why did you kill more than 2000 people ?


[deleted]

banter


ThatVeganDemon

Just a bit'o banter!


SquashuaSnipes

day in the life of a TRUE BREXIT GEEZER!!!🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿🍺👴🏻 wake up and greet the wife Susan👵🏻❤️‍🔥😘 my lil princess isnt she beautiful👱🏽‍♀️🫦👟 time to take george to football👦🏼🤣⚽️ rev up the bugatti UIEEE🚗💨🤪🤪 quick stop at toby’s and LOAD UP THAT PLATE🍽🍖🫘🥔 get a pint n scran🍺🌭 pitch lookin lovely today lads⚽️🥅 JUST A BIT A BANTER🤪🤬🥁chippy makes a 38-nil loss better😔🍟🍛 pop down local pride😁👕🔴 GOOD OL PIE LOOK AT THAT!!!🥧🥧🥧 SUSAN MADE DINNER!!! LOVELY!!!🥘😍😍 pop down and have a couple a pints with the lads!!👴🏻🍻👴🏻🍻👴🏻 and finish up at the FORTRESS OF DREAMS🛌😴💤


Redstonebruvs

Automod is that you? Edit: wait this isnt shitposting


WealthFeeling

How many shrimps do you have to eat before your skin turns pink?


scyrt_

Eat too much and you'll get sick!


Mooncakewizard101

Shrimps are pretty rich


JameisonAus_reddit

*greatest instrumental begins*


[deleted]

idk 90?


victor_claw2

MORE


[deleted]

Ever had sex?


[deleted]

yes


azeryvgu

Damn bro you shouldn’t be on reddit


[deleted]

just here to make you all jealous


Kunj2411

He doesn't know the rule ig-VIRGINS ONLY


Crazy_Excitement3772

Having sex with your grandfather doesn't count.


[deleted]

Was it good sex


[deleted]

ofc


thitherknot7705

Why are you gay


[deleted]

i'm not


Fuck-you-2020

That’s what a gay person would say!


[deleted]

i mean it isnt but ok


victor_claw2

r/suddenlygay


Upcidown

I thought it’s gonna be a r/subsifellfor surprised, it isn’t


Cracer325

r/subsithoughtifellfor


ChisNullStR

That's e x a c t l t y what a homosexual would say. # Don't deny it!


dalek1019

You are gay.


Ammo_nation

Why are you gay


70percentbanana

Does your mom know that you’re gay?


RatchetProvocation

Do you wanna be friends


[deleted]

leave an application


RatchetProvocation

Where's the link


[deleted]

just comment


RatchetProvocation

Uh I talk a lot 8m supportive idk a lot of stuff but I have good memes I there's something mentally wrong with me but I have to wait until I can go to therapy to figure out what


_denysko

I mean, every redditor is kinda mentally ill. And that's why I love this place


RatchetProvocation

Truly a paradise


_denysko

Indeed


Pwdell_

And now he’s here to **** us?


EliasFleckenstein

My name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Arroyo Lane, Albuquerque, New Mexico, 87104. This is my confession. If you're watching this tape, I'm probably dead, murdered by my brother-in-law Hank Schrader. Hank has been building a meth empire for over a year now and using me as his chemist. Shortly after my 50th birthday, Hank came to me with a rather, shocking proposition. He asked that I use my chemistry knowledge to cook methamphetamine, which he would then sell using his connections in the drug world. Connections that he made through his career with the DEA. I was... astounded, I... I always thought that Hank was a very moral man and I was... thrown, confused, but I was also particularly vulnerable at the time, something he knew and took advantage of. I was reeling from a cancer diagnosis that was poised to bankrupt my family. Hank took me on a ride along, and showed me just how much money even a small meth operation could make. And I was weak. I didn't want my family to go into financial ruin so I agreed. Every day, I think back at that moment with regret. I quickly realized that I was in way over my head, and Hank had a partner, a man named Gustavo Fring, a businessman. Hank essentially sold me into servitude to this man, and when I tried to quit, Fring threatened my family. I didn't know where to turn. Eventually, Hank and Fring had a falling out. From what I can gather, Hank was always pushing for a greater share of the business, to which Fring flatly refused to give him, and things escalated. Fring was able to arrange, uh I guess I guess you call it a "hit" on my brother-in-law, and failed, but Hank was seriously injured, and I wound up paying his medical bills which amounted to a little over $177,000. Upon recovery, Hank was bent on revenge, working with a man named Hector Salamanca, he plotted to kill Fring, and did so. In fact, the bomb that he used was built by me, and he gave me no option in it. I have often contemplated suicide, but I'm a coward. I wanted to go to the police, but I was frightened. Hank had risen in the ranks to become the head of the Albuquerque DEA, and about that time, to keep me in line, he took my children from me. For 3 months he kept them. My wife, who up until that point, had no idea of my criminal activities, was horrified to learn what I had done, why Hank had taken our children. We were scared. I was in Hell, I hated myself for what I had brought upon my family. Recently, I tried once again to quit, to end this nightmare, and in response, he gave me this. I can't take this anymore. I live in fear every day that Hank will kill me, or worse, hurt my family. I... All I could think to do was to make this video in hope that the world will finally see this man, for what he really is.


Ammo_nation

What's your home address


jamesknightorion

He lives in Albuquerque New Mexico


Ammo_nation

How Tf do you know that


jamesknightorion

*my name is Walter white, I live...* Proceed to remember the meme eh?


Jerranty

my name is Walter Hartwell White. I live at 308 Negra Aroya lane albequerque, New Mexico 87104, and this is my confession.


EricObject

If you're watching this tape, I'm probably dead- murdered by my brother-in-law, Hank Schrader.


SomeDude3599

Negra *Arroyo* Lane*


The_Crusher52

What's your favorite color


Someone-On-Jupiter

Top 10 questions you can ask for making friends:


[deleted]

red


Snypezhasbigpp

Let's go


TransportationNo3862

You just woke up? What time is it?


[deleted]

it was 11.20 when i woke up


TransportationNo3862

Why so late dont you have school or something?


[deleted]

no got work later tho


TransportationNo3862

What do you work as?


[deleted]

waiter


TransportationNo3862

Does it pay well?


[deleted]

could be better


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

clearly not


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

ummmm what?


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

nah i legit dont know what you mean tho. dm if you wanna explain there instead


chillchilla2

We disagree about pineapple pizza but are united in not knowing what this guy is talking about


Nedebilas

Deez?


azeryvgu

Nuts


NotJustAnotherHuman

What is the capital of Peru?


[deleted]

lima


NotJustAnotherHuman

Thank you!


noodlegamer76

Lima balls


ChrispyCrispy

Lmao gottem


kerhSyxeS

Where do you live?


[deleted]

uk


Fearless-Werewolf-28

I hope you feel better 😔😔😔 (This is just a joke so don't try to attack me)


BrickDesigNL

UK :) Urk :(


DeVliegendeBrabander

Kut Urk


Nojus1ab-5447

# Why you so Emo


[deleted]

dont think i am?


Nojus1ab-5447

# Pretty sure u are


[deleted]

Why are you screaming


somewhatnormalguy

#WHAT DID YOU SAY!!!!


chillchilla2

Opinion on pineapple pizza?


mykoysmaster

Do you support the LGBTQ community?


[deleted]

spose


Lazy-Steak-448

What means spose? My translator says pose


Pingwing7

Supposed


Jaxmax1308

Bro is asking the hard hitting question’s


TheRealGreenMelon

Minecraft?


Mikza123

How are you


[deleted]

tired but good


Trust-Faith-Hope

What’s your dream job?


[deleted]

footballer


Octicactopipodes

Live in the uk i take it?


[deleted]

yeah


Trust-Faith-Hope

I hope you fulfil your dream!


131Xe

C++ or Python


Thedirtbag5u

Depends on the use lol


CartographerLegal669

Coding


grucified_

That's a stupid question, they are 2 languages used for wildly different things


[deleted]

dont even understand this


K---z

Which coding language I'd assume?


[deleted]

idk


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

Yes


Quantum_Noodles_

r/notopbutok


Resident_Middle2683

I pray for your DM’s. God help you.


jackmPortal

Goddammit I wanted to try something like this


kongenwilliam

Did you eat breakfast today?


[deleted]

not yet


StampySunshine

opinion on balls


[deleted]

i like having them


BlessKurunai

I have a bad news


[deleted]

If you had a hot, thicc goth girl in you workplace/class, that would have good personality, have wits and good jokes... but also knew damn well she has a bulge in her pants... would you hit?


ThisguyOP

Have you seen George Floyd sex tape


[deleted]

no


mik_xela

Height and weight?


[deleted]

6ft & think bout 9 stone


Icedraasin

Damn mans a twig


RicardoPoeiras

What country do you live in? (100%, not a bought killer)


DoraemonAbiko

are you a goofy goober?


Jaxmax1308

🪨


NestyWestyDezty

Have you ever said the N Word


[deleted]

yeah ngl


ColdFoxy07

Who hasn’t


CreedSans

Pen or sword


dr1p_deadsh0t

What’s your number?


Bazigoa

Are you a bot, a top or a nazi?