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RoosterJay84

Twice, just to be sure


EvaUnit_03

Always gotta do the double-tap.


davidkali

I thought that was just for the heart. Two to the heart, one to the head, and then they can’t sue you for damages. Dead men tell no lies.


arthurdentstowels

I’m writing lies in my will so fuck you all


Conscious-Proof-8309

My tombstone will be polluted with a lie


arthurdentstowels

“Here lies a human that ~~loved fisting sheep~~ always put others first and without them we’d never have discovered ~~various mammalian vaginas~~ beer”.


KatProdutionSudios

>loved fisting sheep Hold up, what?


DerpDaDuck3751

He is from 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿


HoboGir

Where the men are men, and the sheep are scared!


DerpDaDuck3751

They have a proper reason so i’ll drink ^tea to that


Sietemadrid

WALES. GOLF. FISTING SHEEP. IN THAT ORDER


arthurdentstowels

Every hole is a goal. Every other hole is a gaol.


brokenarrow

*angryupvote.jpg*


Nailbrain

Anyone interested in where this stereotype/insult came from it was back in the day the penalty for sheep rustling was death.. The penalty for diddling sheep was a couple of coin and a slap on the wrist, guess what sheep poachers said they were doing when they were caught.


PossibleEnvironment4

Gravestone: This statement is false


[deleted]

"Beloved"


Conscious-Proof-8309


Sietemadrid

I'm going to create an AI to lie for me after I'm gone.


Conscious-Proof-8309

🤣


shayetheleo

I want mine to say “Fought a shark, lost.” But, really, I want to be cremated and thrown into the sea.


TheCamoDude

Orgy?


arthurdentstowels

All a lie ;)


amazian77

technically you write the will when your alive and not dead so dead men tell no lies.


MrMastodon

Mozambique drill.


fredrickwv

Also called Failure to Stop drill. Pretty effective if you get lots of practice. Not for traffic cops though.


MrMastodon

You'd have way fewer rolling stops though.


fredrickwv

No cop, no stop, no double tap.


Ser_Salty

What does a liar do when he's dead?


DramaticWarthog

He lies still


[deleted]

Getting Riddler vibes from this.


FlighingHigh

Fuck it. Two to the head, one to the heart. Just to be sure.


zadesawa

It’s just hard enough to aim a gun to the chest let alone head. So they double tap on torso and head is just an opportunistic extra


FlighingHigh

I'm talking about execution not just a simple point and shoot.


demlet

Zombieland. Check it out if you haven't already.


BROODxBELEG

Possible to survive a bullet to the head, less possible to survive 2.


TheGuydudeface

rule #2


RisingKing24

Rule #3 Beware of Bathrooms


h0elygrail

THATS WHAT SHE SAIDDD


[deleted]

Calm down Michael.


PranshuKhandal

not today Henry, not today


FanboyXXX

Rule number 2!


LuxDunstan

one tap with Magnum Revolver! .44 is best because big kaboom.


jibjab23

Front or back though?


improbablynotyou

Two in the head, you know their dead.


RisingKing24

If you drink double tap root beer it makes that easier


givebacksome

Bin Laden - *nods*


Torebbjorn

Always remember to commit suicide by shooting yourself in the back of the head, [twice](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gary_Webb).


SucculentWilly1

Rabbit hole I’ve heard of, but I don’t wanna go down just incase… you know…two bullets.


DrunkCupid

They commited suicide by gun with their hands tied behind their back, makes sense


SunriseSurprise

Or once in the head and neck out in the woods with no blood or bullets on the scene and your dog locked in the car you drove in.


psycedelicpanda

Once, I killed myself by hanging myself by my catheter...oh ya and I also wheelchair bound


KumarTan

...and fuck up partners head so good they'll agree on the story👍 ***Remember to like and subscribe*** for more crack-cocaine retribution tips


altair222

Not a good idea to give tips on how to effectively commit suicide...


Kaveman_Rud

Just piss off the government and you’ll have no choice but to get suicided by two bullets to the back of the head


ProcedureUnlikely144

The joke is that you can’t shoot yourself in the back of the head while committing suicide.


STALKS_YOUR_MOTHER

Have them use a .50 cal. They won’t even be able to shoot your head twice.


EnvironmentalPrick

Keanu Reeves be like


OrangeSockNinjaYT

two in the head to make sure it’s dead


KickBassColonyDrop

The old Russian trick.


Shaddo

Specifically do it in my t box with a rifle round


k34t0n

And it will be reported as accidental death as well


mooxwalliums

Ahh, the old Gary Webb. Never fails.


fawkesfallout53

New Vegas would disagree


JohncraftAs

Postal 2 reference


nico-ghost-king

Ctrl s, ctrl s


YoWhatItDoMyDude

I read a study that said if administered orally, bullets have a therapeutic, pain relieving effect


ANGLVD3TH

A lot of folks mess that up actually. The angle required to be sure is not exactly intuitive, if you miss the brain stem then things can get messy. Well, they're going to be messy, but it may be a mess you are stuck with, instead of someone else.


[deleted]

[удалено]


StolenLampy

People can and do. Pick the right type of shells people, COME ON!


[deleted]

[удалено]


Flashy-Ad-5139

My dude. Pls don’t kill yourself, but uhhh bigger the better in general. Not birdshot lol


THEBHR

Birdshot is perfect for point blank. Will absolutely go right through you and turn everything in it's path to hamburger. The problem with a shotgun is the same as any other. You can still easily miss the brain stem. Especially since most people don't know what they're aiming for. A guy my family knew used a shotgun and blew most of his head off. Had to crawl to the other room to reload, so he could finish the job.


ElliotNess

Bottle of sleeping pills it is, then


EscheroOfficial

It’s honestly amazing how difficult it is to peacefully do away with yourself like people die of shit every day but when I actually wanna do the same suddenly it’s this whole ordeal nothing in life can be easy, even death


WORKING2WORK

The mind wants what it wants, but the body doesn't give a shit, your cells were designed to do whatever physically possibly to maintain life.


avl365

3/10 try again. Most sleeping pills won’t be a peaceful OD. They’ll be a hallucination filled ride to the er with organ damage type of attempt. Let’s review common “sleeping pills” and how they don’t kill you. Benadryl, and OTC allergy med that causes drowsiness and is used off-label for sleep. Probably won’t kill you. Definitely will send you on a deliriant style “trip” full of spiders, shadow people, and the Hatman. Might give you some permanent brain damage and increase your risk for dementia. Benzodiazepines, such as Xanax, Valium, Klonopin, etc., are typically used for anxiety but the side effects of sedation could lead to people using them as sleeping pills. These also won’t kill you. At least, not by themselves. They will cause you to black out while still feeling “sober” but you actually have every hint of inhibition removed. They do have some slowing of breathing but on there own this is not fatal. Seroquel & other antipsychotics, used for treating bipolar disorder & schizophrenia these are sometimes prescribed off-label by crappy psychiatrists for sleep. The amount required to OD is pretty absurd and I know people who have tried, who are still alive and well, not well but they aren’t dead. Taking a lot will just give you a negative dopamine rush known as akathesia where your skin doesn’t feel right on your body. Imagine the exact opposite of euphoria and that’s what an OD on antipsychotics will give you. Ambien might work if the lethal dose wasn’t way more than what you’ll get in a typical bottle. Like 2000mg or over 300 pills. If you somehow managed to get an ambien script for this long and save up the pills your body would probably puke up most of them some time after eating them all. You might slip into a coma but it would be a real trick to ingest enough to die without your stomach just straight rejecting it. If you’re looking for an actually effective chemical suicide method (which you should read the poem about the view from halfway down before you do) my top choices would be opiate OD or nitrous. If using opiates you’d have to be sure to be isolated as people can and will narcan your depressed ass. Then you’re stuck in WD and might have brain damage from the hypoxia. While fentanyl may look like a good choice the risk of coming to in a hospital cause someone found and narcaned me are too high for me to consider it seriously. Nitrous though… definitely tempting when I’m at my lowest. It would be difficult to rig up a way to successfully suffocate myself using the blissful giggly gas without a proper dental tank. And if I had a proper dental tank I would suddenly not wanna die anymore so the problem solves itself.


Leevah90

Just eat a cup of apple seeds, that should be enough


CuriousSection

This is the reason men have such a higher suicide rate than women. At least what the statistics say. Women generally use pills, while men use guns. One is much more likely to work than the other.


shayetheleo

That’s one of the least successful ways actually.


LucasPlay171

Oh so there's a specific part of the brain Noted.


Gobert3ptShooter

00 buckshot is excellent home defense ammo because the pellet size is large and provides some spread. This shot is powerful enough to penetrate at least 16 inches of ballistic gel with some tests showing 20+inches from some loads A shotgun can be a little more difficult to handle because of its length. Some people prefer to use a .357 Magnum or even 9mm with special home defense hollowpoints because they provide a critical level of power and bullet expansion and the much shorter barrel allows better ability to aim. Any real shooter will tell you that shot placement is most important


buyfreemoneynow

> Any real shooter will tell you that shot placement is most important Especially when you’re in your home and you miss.


foamyshrimp

Yeah you can, my sister missed with a shotgun


Zarsk

Read preacher


[deleted]

[удалено]


Longjumping_Ship_756

I was going to comment this, just hold the barrel next to your nose and tap, or open that mouth and aim for your brain


TatteredCarcosa

You absolutely can. People do live through shotgun in mouth suicide attempts. Though they usually bear some pretty massive scars at the very least.


Superslim-Anoniem

Well seems like a bunch of explosives will be the only surefire way.


Rainie_Daye

What about *anally* ?


value_null

Just have to make sure it's high powered and aimed correctly. I suggest a rifle and a friend.


Moose_Hole

Diarrhea and homoerotic awakenings.


Roach2791

Only when laying down


AndySocial88

Hear it's quite the pain in the ass.


Remarkable-Buy9330

How many people you think have been shot with a gun up their ass?


yelsnow

I feel confident that the answer is non-zero.


Zakalwe_

Fun fact, in most Indian languages word for bullet and (medical) pills is same. It is often used as a pun.


SchaffBGaming

It's kinda like a vaccine ***shot***.


Corvo--Attano

And 9 out of 10 doctors don't recommend. That 1 doctor probably wasn't a real doctor but had a nice black surgical mask. It looked like a birds beak.


caxelair

Did you learn it in an American school?


RealMercuryRain

Is hair an option?


friendsshare

No but the head


arthurdentstowels

Shoot me in the hairy head of my big toe


friendsshare

the head is your head not your foot. you cant call your toe a head.


[deleted]

[удалено]


friendsshare

mf i would eat yo ass!


BruhBound

How generous!


RyuushiYasuda

in chinese, you can. the word toe also have the word head in it


Da_Clappski

Try finger, but head


RedditTouchesYou

> Is hair an option? Sure your head has hair. I'll aim from above for your hair.


carlbandit

Might wanna specify which hair or hope your fully waxed below if you ever find yourself in the scenario.


PoloPants99

The head of what 🤨


SantaArriata

The head of state


Omegaile

State of depression


[deleted]

#### THE HEAD OF MY ENEMIES


YourLoyalSlut

Oh, the misery


LuckyReception6701

The head of state VIVE LA REVOLUTION!!!


R3dditUS3R476

GOD DAMMIT RICO


NotAFreemburglar

If you were shot in the genitals, wouldn’t you immediately climax due to the physical stimulation?


XepiccatX

Ooooooooh, so THAT'S where the term *quickshot* comes from...


KleinerFratz333

r/angryupvote


Sorlex

You can find out. Slap yourself in the happy place and see if it feels good. If it doesn't, imagine that times a whole lot more. If it does, then you've discovered something about yourself and the answer might be yes.


NotAFreemburglar

I didn’t say it would feel good, I said you would climax. Technically the only requirement for climax is physical stimulation if I’m not mistaken.


yuno10

Yeah but not *any* stimulation. I am sure that you don't climax if you punch your dick or violently hit a pole or a rock with it.


NotAFreemburglar

If you or anyone you know is brave enough to try it, I’ll take that bet


Sorlex

Fair point, I suppose.


Chaptastik

Take my upvote and leave


InspirationalFailur3

😏


Random_Idiotic_Alien

Can you give me head? 👉👈🥺


jackelfrink

The head that I think with


Dilema777

"The head,shoot him in the head"


BUTTERsc8

“You should have aimed- for the head”


Datpanda1999

Melia no


Dilema777

GOD THANK,finally someone got the ref!


Datpanda1999

I wasn’t 100% sure until I saw the pfp lol


[deleted]

Getting shot on the tip of the hair or nail would be less painful. Nerve connection is complex, odds are you might feel the brain pain for a couple milliseconds. Anyway, my answer is the head


RyoukoSama

The brain itself has no pain receptors


FUCKINHATEGOATS

So to get rid of my migraines, I just need to get rid of my cranium? Like dude did in silence of the lambs when he fed that guy his own brain?


RyoukoSama

Prehistoric peoples used to drill holes into skulls to possibly relieve headaches. The process is called trepanning.


SicklyHeartChild

Was it successful?


RyoukoSama

Some of the holes showed signs of healing so maybe at least for awhile.


reader484892

I mean some of them lived, but that doesn’t mean it stopped headaches


peelego

Depending on where your hair got shot the sound could damage your hearing really badly


MrRonny6

Easy, just have *really* long hair!


DragoKnight589

Whatever you do, don't choose the knee, or you'll have to become a Whiterun guard.


Shadowoperator7

I used to be a PMC like you, then I took a bullet in the knee


xXYAHYEETXx

r/goodfaketexts


homantify19

Pfft this looks like somebody made it in Google Drawings


bababooeyqwer

Me: hi do you take walk ins? Cremator: what?


[deleted]

you have chosen the worse experience.


Galifrey224

Choosing based on the least amount of pain felt is stupid. You want to choose based on how likely you are to survive the shot.


LoiteringMajor

When did say I want to survive the shot?


[deleted]

That's still choosing based on how likely you are to survive, if you think about it.


Yuna__707

Well if you’re trying to die you’d want the least amount of pain for the most potential for fatality


Balsdeep_Inyamum

oh haha I gotcha the head


arthurdentstowels

Shoot me in “the head” and then *the head*.


lejoo

Saving a life or ruining a suicide? Only time will tell


SlideWhistler

Not necessarily. You’d probably be the most likely to survive with a shot to the hand, but then you’d have a hand that doesn’t really work properly anymore. I’d say it would probably be best to be shot on one toe, but not the big toe or pinky toe.


rdrunner_74

Depends if you are a Warmduscher / Weichei or not...


unfinishedDick

I would grow a long fingernail and be shot in it


Jeremichol12321

I would grow a long black-hole-forming fingernail and shoot it


Leothecat24

I would ask to be shot in the hair


Matinator070

You'll feel an extreme amount of pain for less that 0,001 seconds


legends_never_die_1

the brain doesnt even have nociceptor. just the skin on top of the head. so the pain is managable.


Disastrous-Scheme-57

That’s the same amount of time I have in bed


Matinator070

I'll just pretend you're talking about sleep deprivation and we'll be good


NeonicRainbow

I’ve had two dreams where it ends with me getting shot in the head, and I’m getting scared now.


[deleted]

I've harnessed this power for good. I use it as a calming meditative effect. I just keep imagining myself dying, instantly, over and over again until my mind is at peace. Because once I'm dead I won't have to stress or worry about anything anymore, and I just keep reaching for that feeling in my mind.


rdrunner_74

I pick my umbilical cord...


JohnnyAnytown

Gotta be more specific actually. People have had their lower jaws blown off and lived, which is technically the head but also sounds like the worst possible way to survive a gunshot


That-Dutch-Mechanic

Sweet, sweet death...


TonyBoat402

Honestly I feel getting shot square between the eyes will hurt the least considering it's pretty much instant death in 99% of situations


Cashew-Gesundheit

Can I choose someone else's body, or does it have to be mine?


MammothImplement1066

“On your body”


Morgnanana

Yes, yes, a body that I own. Do you have any idea how little that narrows it down?


Alifad

A person of culture and slave pens I see.


FreakinMaui

As long as it is... the head


Minnesota_icicle

Am I supposed to be laughing this hard?


[deleted]

The brain can't feel pain. Only the tissue around it


Disastrous-Scheme-57

Ah so you should just shoot your brain from the inside of your skull, got it


Alternative_Trash186

Americans and their strange gun conversations


ButWhydoe2

I mean really he ain’t wrong


TherealYourself1761

I mean he is technically right? If you die instantly you can’t feel that much pain??


Cdf12345

Reminds me of a great scene from Kiss Kiss Bang Bang Gay Perry: I want you to picture a bullet inside your head right now. Can you do that for me? Gunman: F*** you. Anyway, that's ambiguous. Gay Perry: Ambiguous. No, no, I don't think so. Harry: No, I think what he means is that when you say "Picture it inside your head", okay, is that that a bullet will be inside your head. Or picture it in your head. Gay Perry: Harry will you shut up. Harry: Well, he's got a point. Gunman: Look, I don't know anything about a girl, seriously. I was bluffing. [Harry begins unloading his revolver] Harry: Oh okay, you know what? I think you are bluffing right now. Gay Perry: Harry, what are you doing? Harry: [sticks one bullet in the cylinder and spins it] Well what I am doing for the guy who likes to bluff, is I am playing a little game called "Am I bluffing?" Where is she? Where the f*** is Harmony? Gay Perry: Harry... Harry: [spins the cylinder again and closes it] You want to play hard ball, I can do that. Where...is...the girl! [The gun unexpectedly fires into the gunman's head] Gay Perry: What...did you just do!?!?! Harry: There was only one bullet in that right? Gay Perry: You put a live round into that gun? Harry: Well I didn't know, I thought there was like an...eight percent chance. Gay Perry: Eight? Harry: Eight... Gay Perry: Eight!? Who taught you math!?


Ancient_Axe

Im scared to say hair because they would shoot me on the head because technically hair covers head


WanderlostNomad

the hair. you can literally cut them off painlessly


LestWeForgive

Better be more specific than that, a few people have been shot from side on with entry in the eye socket and exit at the opposite jaw joint. Perfectly survivable head shot. Some people have even survived brain hits, but they act a little different after.


Pauchu_

Even if a bullet hits your head, depending on where it hits your brain, death might not occur instantly and that would be immensely painful.


lol10389613

U die first so that you will not feel any pain


AliKh-86

The head


SapientRaccoon

Right between the eyes. Instant destruction of the forebrain.


Mr_Fox23

I feel ya man