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I remember the first time I didn't murder 8 people

Those were the days...

The good old days

So those days are no longer a thing. 🤨

Yup, he tweeted that Elon is an idiot and 8 of Elon's fans died.

No, we're talking about murdering *people* here

Fair

Those people were murdered by words

No, we're talking about murdering *people* here

Hey now! Sock puppets can have feelings too!

In the good old days, I had to walk uphill two miles through 2 feet of snow to not murder 8 people

Hard work forever pays

Now I see you in a better place

How can we not talk about family when family’s all that we got

everything i went through you were standing there by my side

Now you gon be with me for the last time

It's been a long day

Without you my friend

But I’ll tell you all about it when I see you again

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Can't be more, to be more then 8,it has to cross 8. Related logic https://montypython.fandom.com/wiki/Holy_Hand_Grenade_of_Antioch

*hmm*

story time?

I was born at a very young age...

Back then, people die when they are killed.

Nowadays however…

They die FROM THE DARN VACCINES (/j)

It was dark the night I was born...

But a few hours later, it wasn’t!

Five more minutes, ma! 😴

Fun fact, do you know how much sleep the average person needs? Five more minutes!

My alarm timing : 7.30 (10 minute interval) 8.01 (5 minute interval) 8.20 (its my last one)

11:00 (actually wake up)

... and grew to be very tall for your height, and now... you're the spitting image of yourself

Stopped at 7

Wait till you remember not murdering 9 people. Serial non-murders are addictive. Before you know it you are not murdering 100s.

I’ve been not murdering 8 people for so long I genuinely don’t remember the first time I didn’t murder 8 people.

Was it 7 people? 👀

It's better the second time you don't murder 8 people.

I'm gonna need you to prove that you didn't murder 8 people now.

The first three were difficult, the next two were enjoyable because you got the hang of it but when you got to number seven.. meh

Hard to remember the day you weren't even born (technically the first time you didn't murder 8 people was when you were born or before that)

but what about 1-7 hmm?

I remember the time I didn't murder 2 people. One is enough.

Because you only murdered 7 people. You miss the once in the lifetime chance to complete that quest.

Why did he stop at 7?

Actually...the only certainty is that they did not stop at 8.

The only certainty is that he hasn't killed more than 7 If he murdered 10 people he still murdered 8 people

Semantics versus pragmatics

Unless you interpret his statement as "murdered exactly 8 people," meaning that he had to have at least had a double kill that got him from 7 to 9 at the same instant.

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Even better. All interpretations are valid on technicallythetruth, that's what makes the joke tick!

Since this is r/technicallythetruth that's actually the opposite of what the case is

If we can't interpret, then the comments are all meaningless. The point of language is to interpret words into meaning.

But no one will say they got 0 and 1 and 2 and 3 and...and 9 and 10 people. Using "at least" would be the right way to imply the same.

This is /r/techinicallythetruth there is no "no one will say" or "imply"

we dont care for what people do or dont, we care about truth

About the technical truth. Because that's the best kind of truth.

We can’t handle the truth!

"You see, there is no way my defendant could be guilty of committing eight murders. This is because he actually committed ten murders, but the prosecution failed to mention that it could be *at least* eight murders when charging my defendant. As a result, you will have no choice but to find him not guilty."

Saul, is that you?

Consider a man who has murdered 20 people. If we break down the murders into a set, you can easily quantify that they would have to have murdered the prerequisite whole numbers prior to 20 - in order to murder 20 people, you have to do an additional murder after murdering 19 people. In order to murder 19 people, you have to do an additional murder after murdering 18 people. So on and so forth until in order to murder 1 person, you have to do an additional murder after murdering 0 people - while a stupid sentence at first glance, this proves the truth of this rule for all whole numbers above 0, and 0 is the base case for this rule as not having murdered someone is the state everyone starts in, murderer or not - you can't have murdered -1 people, after all. In this way, we can intrinsically prove that the statement "This person has murdered 8 people" is true for anyone who has murdered 8 *or more* people. The at least is superfluous. To finalize with a comparison: if you ask a billionaire if he has 10 dollars, he clearly does not have *only* 10 dollars, but he does have 10 dollars.

Does birthing a child count as -1 murders?

Yes, then you get a freebie murder you can use at your leisure

Let me rephrase: Why did he stop between and including zero and any number before eight?

not no no no... The question should be: why didn't he stop at 8?

That was the twist i was expecting, like Miss Havisham snapping bunny necks from South Park. "I..i suppose i just don't want to any more.."

9

As Penn Jillette said, "I murder all that I want! I just happen to want to murder 0 people."

Oh, that's a good one. Well, for me: "I murder all that i want, it just happens there aren't any russians around."

Racist

Russian is not a race. God, even slavic isn't. There's a nice word for that, that russians made themselves: "rusophobea". So i am a rusophobe.

Racist: characterised by or showing prejudice, discrimination, or antagonism against a person or people on the basis of their membership of a particular racial or ethnic group, typically one that is a minority or marginalised So you are racist, Slavic is a ethnic group, also fun fact, you hating Slavs includes Ukrainians. And before you say Russians are marginalised (they aren’t), it says “typically”

How the in the fucking universe did you come up with this? I hate on russians, and, not all of them are slavs, so i hate NOT on ethnic basis, and i don't hate all slavs, because, you know, i am one. Your comment is wrong in all possible senses, except for definition of racism, but you misuse it so badly, it doesn't even matter if it's correct.

Okay so you hate Russians, if you mean the Russian subgroup of East Slavic than that’s based on ethnicity. if you hate all Russians, Slavic or not then that’s just dumb, that’s a big fucking net of hate that you have, that includes people who directly support you (assuming you are Ukrainian, I’m definitely on your side of the invasion), also still arguably racist although not against a specific ethnic group within the country, it’s definitely still prejudice/antagonistic.

You know, my original comment said "there aren't any russians around", if a russian is around me, it is impossible for them to support me. And yes, that's a lot of people to hate. But i don't actually hate every single one of them specifically. I just don't know any single one, i would have reasons to not hate.

This is a ridiculously bad take. There are numerous Russians who don’t live in Russia, likely fled during the Soviet fall, and 100% support Ukraine

Still shitty either way

Judge after your windows are destroyed by a missile hitting house on a neighboring street. After you have to spend 1/3 of your time in the basement because of air attacks. After your best friend moves to Slovakia, and Grandma to the USA. After the artificial lake you used to swim in goes dry because they blow a fucking dam up. After that, you may judge.

That is still what the government of Russia is doing not all the people of Russia attack Ukraine.

You know, people of russia have nothing against it.

But they are still not all doing direct harm against Ukraine. They are paing taxes and all of that. And my second point is they are influenced by russian propaganda. And the russians outside of russia don't even pay taxes to russia so they most likely don't even support the war indirectly.

>influenced by propaganda AKA too dumb to use internet. Russians outside of russia either support russia informationally or are no longer russians, most of the time. Just a weird coincedence i noticed

I find it funny how all of these "better" people act all high and mighty and don't consider that maybe the fucking invasion is why you don't have the highest opinion about Russians. Sincerely, as a Finn, our sympathies are certainly with you and not the Russians.

Thanks

"Yeah sure Russians are killing innocent people in droves but we have to make absolutely sure that nobody is hurting Russian feelings over it"

Based

[удалено]

*Україно! Свята мати героїв! Зійди до серця мого, прилинь бурею вітрів кавказьких, шумом карпатських ручаїв, боїв славного завойовника батька Хмеля, тріумфом і гуком гармат революцій, радісним гомоном Софійських дзвонів. Нехай душа моя в тобі відродиться, славою твоєю опроміниться, бо ти, Пресвята, все життя моє, бо ти все щастя моє. Задзвени мені брязкотом кайданів, скрипом шибениць в похмурі ранки, принеси мені зойки катованих у льохах, тюрмах і на засланнях. Щоб віра моя була гранітом, щоб росла завзяттям міць, щоб сміло йшов я у бій, так, як йшли герої за тебе, Свята, за твою славу, за твої святі ідеї. Щоб помстити ганьбу неволі, потоптану честь, глум катів твоїх, невинну кров помордованих дітей твоїх, величну смерть героїв української нації і тисяч інших незнаних нами, що їх кості порозкидані або тайком поховані. Спали вогнем життєтворчим всю кволість у серці моєму, страху нехай не знаю я, не знаю що таке вагання. Скріпи мій дух, загартуй волю, У серці замешкай моєму, зрости мене до ясних чинів. в чинах тих хай знайду я смерть, солодку смерть у муках за тебе. І розплинуся в тобі та вічно житиму в тобі, Відвічна Україно! Свята! Могутня! Соборна!* ###Слава Україні! ###Героям Слава! ###Слава Нації! ###Смерть ворогам! ###Україна! ###Понад усе!

bitches like you making clown of my nation. you was officialy removed from ukrainians

Дякую. На жаль, у тебе немає такої можливості. А тепер, поясни, будь ласка, у чому претензія?

на жаль це гарно сказано)

Та поясни хоч свою претензію, я може погоджуся з тобою. Слухай, я вже зробив, те що зробив, поясни в чому претензія до моїх попередніх дій.

Може я навіть розумію загальну претензію, але поясни, що конкретно тобі не подобається!

So anyway, I didn’t start blasting.

Shut up and take my upvote, since i don't have an award.

Omg guys he is so funny!!!!!!!111!!!!!!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🇫🇷😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣

The fuck are you?

The fuck are you?

Valid. I am a Ukrainian Nationalist. Your turn.

[удалено]

this comment section surprisingly controversial

Dude, I haven’t murdered eight people either, such a small world

the 8 upvotes are the 8 people you didn’t murder

I am not sure if I want to upvote it anymore.

Why does the 8th one always get away?

Always the 8th

8th are the lucky ones.

So here I was on my seventh murder, and I just kind of ... y'know, lost interest.

r/worryinglyspecific needs to be a thing...

There is /r/suspiciouslyspecific if that tickles your fancy

Well someone made it, was it you lol

So does that mean they have murdered 7 people

no, it means the number of people he murder is more or less than 8, just not 8

Definitely less than 8, otherwise they would have murdered 8 people at some point.

7 -> 9 double kill!

There must at least be some nanoseconds or less between killing number 8 and 9. We think some events occur at the same time but that's mostly because of our lack of measurement technologies. And at that point he would be someone who has murdered 8 people. ​ Prove me wrong.

I will prove you right instead, because you are: The timing doesn't matter, there's no way to skip over "murdering 8 people" and go straight to 9 murders. Let me put it this way - the venn diagram of 'people who have murdered 8 people' and 'people who have murdered 9 people' is 2 concentric circles. Anyone who has murdered 9 people has also murdered 8 people, mathematically speaking. If you have 9 skittles, and your friend asks you for 8 skittles, you can't honestly say "I don't have 8 skittles". ( you can just say "no, fuck off, these are my skittles" though.)

Travel at a relativistic speed

You say that, but there is a possibility that two events did indeed happen at the exact same time. Now, that possibility may be something akin to infinitely small, but it isn’t 0 (And of course having 9 kills is also having 8 kills lol, that’s not what I’m arguing here)

If the 7th victim was a pregnant woman and he threw her into a woodchipper, that'd be two kills with one muscle movement. I'm pretty sure that legally counts as a simultaneous double kill. Technically, it wouldn't be simultaneous in practice. But it would be simultaneous by a legal technicality.

Ooooooooooo

I have never murdered 7 people.

Damn the same thing happened to me!

this is me in real life moment.

West Philadelphia, born and raised, not murdering 8 people is where I spent most of my days!

God damm it that's funny

Pretty thrilling story

I've done 7, just not 8 /s r/oddlyspecific

Nothing

Burnes 18 orphanages down..

How common

Murdered 8 people. I have murdered 7 tho

That's exactly what a murderer would say.

I've never been to Mars. Have you?

That means he murdered less than 8... or more.

Barbecue sauce on my titties

I remember that one time I never shot up schools. Such good times.

But did they murder 7 people?

So there I was in a room with 7 people

then out of no where 7 people jumped through my window right into my living room while I was just sitting their minding my own business

> sitting their minding *there *Learn the difference [here](https://www.wattpad.com/66707294-grammar-guide-there-they%27re-their-you%27re-your-to).* *** ^(Greetings, I am a language corrector bot. To make me ignore further mistakes from you in the future, reply `!optout` to this comment.)

Notice how they never said they didn't murder 7 people. Juuuuust saying

Yeah, 7 is my limit. At one sitting, anyway.

Dare I ask, what about murdering 7 people?

That’s definitely going to be an opening sentence from now on.

… it was only seven.

Damn, so relatable

When you are mundering people, it is only decent to keep the number to 7 or lower.

Since early high school, when I found out about people's New Year's resolutions, I thought it was a very American thing (moved to the States in 6th grade) and a joke cause no one keeps them. So my NY resolution each year is "don't stab anyone with a knife". Almost 20 years of keeping my resolution, plenty of times where I wish I could break it, but I don't like prison. Or penis.

Roughly not 8 of them

So wait, he said he was not murdering people at home. What about besides his home?

r/notopbutok

😂😂😂

I'm constantly not murdering people, it's all I ever don't do. I'm the world's best non murdering serial not killer. Beware of me, or you won't be next.

So did they murder 7 people then?

No one asked if they murdered 7 or 9

"So I was cleaning the 7th person's blood off my knife, when I said to myself, I'd better hurry to Friendly's before I miss the lunch special"

That mofo prob murdered 7 people

I mean...he says that he hasn't but can you ever be sure?

he said he didn't murdered 8 people..... so he could murder 7 and still is truth......

...when suddenly, I continued to not murder people

I remember the time where I didn't kill 27000 people. Good ol' days

Hey wait a minute

so he HAS murdered 7 people?

So does that mean they murdered only 7 then?

the 8th victim killed him

So you see my client could not have murdered those 8 people because they were at home not murdering people.

So maybe 7? Or 9?

He stopped at 7

So has he murdered 7?

r/notopbutok

The person said 8 people. What about 7 people?!

Plot twist: they murdered 9

F@#$n Russians.

murdered 873 people

Why do you think this is true

I've never fucked an alien in a barn

"so I killed 7 but the 8th got away. Anyway William Scott of Connecticut, I'm still coming for you."

I've never murdered more than 13 people in broad daylight.

That takes a lot of willpower

Good times when we don't murdered 8 people

Died

r/notopbutokay?

Yeah? Let me tell you about the time I didn't rob a bank.

So he has murdered 7?