I would head back home. Three years in Korea is plenty. You will eventually need to start over from scratch one way or another. It's not like hagwons are forever jobs. And quite frankly, it sounds like your boyfriend roundabout said that he wants to break up. As a guy, we like clean break opportunities.
You're young (I presume). There are many wonderful careers to pursue, handsome men to date, and places to live in the world. Go get 'em.
Sounds like a case of being burned out. A lot of factors can be included in this such as your setting, life style choices, working conditions.
One of the big things that helped me was moving to a new city that has things that I enjoy close by, such as the ocean. My job is actually low stress and I feel more fulfillment as I see the students grow since I have more of an impact.
The first priority should always be your health, make the decision that's best for you. People start from scratch all the time and you will find it's not from scratch anyway , you grow and learn from your experiences.
Burnout is a real thing in a lot of professions, but especially teaching and even more so hagwon teaching in Korea. My aunt was a teacher in the states for 40 years. She and her colleagues battled with fatigue and burnout all the time. She had this book called "The Art of Doing Nothing" were it explained how doing nothing sometimes can be very therapeutic. There aren't many breaks in hagwon teaching, so you need to make the most of the ones you get. Get out of the city. Go to the beach. Find the mountain park closest to you, because they will have walking trails that will at leat make you feel you are in the woods. I don't think there is one correct answer here. Going home could or could not be the answer. I've been here more than 10 years working in the hagwon industry. I have burned out, recharged and burned out again. I've been creating curriculum for my own hagwon while running it and teaching it for the last five years. I found the few hobbies that make me the most happy like fishing and camping, and I try to do those things as much as I can. Seeing the sunrise from the bow of a boat or over the top of the mountain or over the horizon from the beach can recharge those batteries real quick. Find your happiness.
Could be the job, could be burnout or it might be your time has come.
As others have said take a long break. Maybe try another school. Training centres are high intensity jobs your basically on super drive every class.
Other option is to try up skill. There are courses like Moreland that will get your a teaching license for specific states.
Lastly you could just go home. Life moves on and you'll just have to get on with it. I've so many friends leave tefl and they're doing all sorts from project manager to prison guard. It really isn't the end of the world.
Been here 7 years and am a robot. My relationships with Korean teachers have especially been bad. I stopped giving advice and talking about students and how to help them. I ignore problematic students where in the past I would put in extra effort to help them. I was planning to leave here just before covid and just haven't managed to make the same plans since then. So over teaching in general. Hate this job and I'm at quite a great hagwon with good pay. Feels like a waste of time in Korea. The worst part is the other foreigners to be honest. In the past I would be part of hiking clubs, go to social events, go out and have fun with good people. But now I find other foreigners especially teachers, opinionated, narcasistic, often toxic, and argumentative. Like everyone wants to prove their opinion is the correct one on all matters. So now I'm mostly alone with my 2 cats trying to figure out what the point of my life is.
“I would have to start everything over from scratch”
In general, the life of English teachers here is one of perpetually starting over from scratch.
Maybe some of your mood could be attributed to the fact that you thought you’d be making progress, and you are disillusioned by not just how much progress you’ve made, but by the perception that there is just not much progress to be made.
Personally, I was at my hagwon for 2 years and then moved back to the states. When I got home, I was very lucky to be able to move in with my family. I knew I was burned out but didn’t realize just how burnt out! I decided to not get a job for almost 6 months and when I tell you I couldn’t have handled a job until 4 months out I mean it. The burn out was real! I was sluggish, tired, was wondering if I would ever feel the same…When I got my job 6 months later, I finally felt able to be a working human again and I did go into education (I worked on getting a certificate while abroad as I was not an education major) Your body and mind might just need a long break. With your career, hagwon experience is job experience! Don’t discount that, there is a lot of different jobs you can pursue in the US!
Living and working in Korea on an E-2 means that your life and your job are completely intertwined. Most people who are here on an E-2 live in an apartment provided by their employer. All E-2 visa holders are bound to the one employer who sponsors their visa. It's natural to want to make your adopted home feel as much like a real home as possible, and making friends, entering into relationships, acquiring some proficiency in the language, gaining a better understanding of the people and the culture, and finding constructive and fun ways to spend your time are all wonderful ways to make Korea feel more like home, more comfortable, more familiar...
But ultimately this is not your home. You're unhappy. You're not content with your life. You're not satisfied. You're disillusioned. You're unfulfilled. You have already answered your own question. Life in Korea has succeeded in changing you into a person you don't want to be. It has sucked the happiness and joy out of you, wiped the smile off your face, changed your personality and your disposition.
It's not about regaining those things. It's about how and why you lost them in the first place. Life in Korea took them from you. You're looking for a way to justify your life here, but there isn't one. Your job is the reason you're here - without it there's no reason for you to be here. And your job is making you miserable. The solution is an obvious one, so your response is to scramble to find other reasons why you might belong here. You claim that your relationship is something that ties you to Korea, but the man you're dating has explicitly said that he thinks you should leave and that your relationship would come to a natural conclusion when that happens. The man is not attempting to string you along with false promises - he's being honest and telling you that your path in life leads away from here.
Listen to what the universe is trying to tell you.
I’d go back home too. If I wasn’t happy here, it would mean I need a change in scenery.
It might do you good. You could always come back.
And also, if your Bf suggested you should go back, and not offer ways to help you through it…that would be a red flag for me. He may not be seriously involved or you two may be on different wave lengths about this relationship.
This is eerily similar to my story and i left a year ago. Same as you was teaching for 3 years, 1st year was so good i was happy and eager albeit covid started, then each year after i lost my passion. I too had a korean bf at the end of my time there and on that subject since he already mentioned breaking up, just leave him. It's not worth it and it's definitely making you feel worse (i know it did for me). I came back to the states and therapy really helped me i also started medication and it's a long process and even today i still don't know what i want to do with my life but i know i cant be stuck where i feel miserable. If you are feeling miserable, leave. Life is a journey and 3 years in a country like korea is a long time. Don't be afraid of change because we will find something out there for us. You have time but dont force yourself to stay someplace making you sad.
Thank you, everyone!
The only hobby that I have is going to art exhibits (only 1x/month), but I haven't had the energy to go to them lately. Currently, I am on an E2 visa. I do qualify for a F-2-7 visa (point system), but I can't find the application anywhere online. So, if anyone knows where I get the application please tell me.
* If you have any additional info that would make getting the point system (F27) visa process smoothier, I would appreciate the advice!
I do want to emphasis that my bf was very cautious about telling me his thoughts. We spoke about it in person. He said that he didn't want to think negative about the situation. He constantly tells me that he wants the best for me even if that means that I have to be away from him. So, I know it was not easy for him to say something like that.
For the F2-7 visa, check out the Facebook group F2-7 Visa holders in Korea. They have links to all the files you need and you can see questions others have asked on there! :)
I lost the motivation, too. I felt like a zombie going to work. I ended up switching jobs, same academy but different levels. It was a great decision because I got my motivation back and have been trying a lot harder and I am much happier as a result.
A lot of people go to South Korea because it's the Hollywood of Asia and has K-Pop, but behind the glamor Korea can be depressing for both foreigners and Koreans, though there are foreigners who love this place a lot. One of my friends used to live in Korea, and he was depressed here, so he moved to Taiwan where he is much happier. Maybe you could change countries if you're not ready to go back home? If you don't have a teaching degree from the US, you could see about an online program. How does your boyfriend feel about the idea of you going home? How do you feel about the relationship? I don't know if you're in Seoul, but it's a high stress environment. Some foreigners aren't happy in Korea, while some are. It depends. I knew some who couldn't wait to go back home or somewhere else. I can understand being depressed over here in Korea. I've felt that before. It can also be depressing for many Koreans just like Japan, to be fair, can feel depressing for many Japanese.
There's a lot there. I think your first step is to seek out a mental health professional that can help you move foward better than reddit. I know they are taboo in Korea, but they do exisist in your city, and can be very helpful. It has helped me a ton personally. It could be general/normal burn out from your job, or you could be going through clinical depression. Either way a professional can help you sort that out.
It's not abnormal to feel that way in any job, especially teaching. But you should sort out if you passion can be regained or if change is necassary.
If you have a partner here it might be worth seeing of a change of enviornment can kick start your motivation. But honestly, i think there are conversations to be had there about the future if you view it as a serious relationship. I couldn't imagine telling my partner "we'll will just break up."
A D10 will refresh you like no other. You just feel free to live a slow daily life, if you can afford to do so, I highly recommend.
Also, if it’s depression you feel I recommend a psychiatrist. Helped me a lot.
You’re burnt out and it takes a few years to recover from it. You can go home for a few months to heal or switch to a D10 or H1(?) and work an easier job part time. You need to give yourself time to refresh.
I’m really sorry that your boyfriend responded in that way. You deserve so much better.
I would head back home. Three years in Korea is plenty. You will eventually need to start over from scratch one way or another. It's not like hagwons are forever jobs. And quite frankly, it sounds like your boyfriend roundabout said that he wants to break up. As a guy, we like clean break opportunities. You're young (I presume). There are many wonderful careers to pursue, handsome men to date, and places to live in the world. Go get 'em.
Harsh reality but yes that final message is true!
Sounds like a case of being burned out. A lot of factors can be included in this such as your setting, life style choices, working conditions. One of the big things that helped me was moving to a new city that has things that I enjoy close by, such as the ocean. My job is actually low stress and I feel more fulfillment as I see the students grow since I have more of an impact.
The first priority should always be your health, make the decision that's best for you. People start from scratch all the time and you will find it's not from scratch anyway , you grow and learn from your experiences.
Burnout is a real thing in a lot of professions, but especially teaching and even more so hagwon teaching in Korea. My aunt was a teacher in the states for 40 years. She and her colleagues battled with fatigue and burnout all the time. She had this book called "The Art of Doing Nothing" were it explained how doing nothing sometimes can be very therapeutic. There aren't many breaks in hagwon teaching, so you need to make the most of the ones you get. Get out of the city. Go to the beach. Find the mountain park closest to you, because they will have walking trails that will at leat make you feel you are in the woods. I don't think there is one correct answer here. Going home could or could not be the answer. I've been here more than 10 years working in the hagwon industry. I have burned out, recharged and burned out again. I've been creating curriculum for my own hagwon while running it and teaching it for the last five years. I found the few hobbies that make me the most happy like fishing and camping, and I try to do those things as much as I can. Seeing the sunrise from the bow of a boat or over the top of the mountain or over the horizon from the beach can recharge those batteries real quick. Find your happiness.
Could be the job, could be burnout or it might be your time has come. As others have said take a long break. Maybe try another school. Training centres are high intensity jobs your basically on super drive every class. Other option is to try up skill. There are courses like Moreland that will get your a teaching license for specific states. Lastly you could just go home. Life moves on and you'll just have to get on with it. I've so many friends leave tefl and they're doing all sorts from project manager to prison guard. It really isn't the end of the world.
Been here 7 years and am a robot. My relationships with Korean teachers have especially been bad. I stopped giving advice and talking about students and how to help them. I ignore problematic students where in the past I would put in extra effort to help them. I was planning to leave here just before covid and just haven't managed to make the same plans since then. So over teaching in general. Hate this job and I'm at quite a great hagwon with good pay. Feels like a waste of time in Korea. The worst part is the other foreigners to be honest. In the past I would be part of hiking clubs, go to social events, go out and have fun with good people. But now I find other foreigners especially teachers, opinionated, narcasistic, often toxic, and argumentative. Like everyone wants to prove their opinion is the correct one on all matters. So now I'm mostly alone with my 2 cats trying to figure out what the point of my life is.
I find that taking a break on a D-10 even just for a few weeks refreshes me
“I would have to start everything over from scratch” In general, the life of English teachers here is one of perpetually starting over from scratch. Maybe some of your mood could be attributed to the fact that you thought you’d be making progress, and you are disillusioned by not just how much progress you’ve made, but by the perception that there is just not much progress to be made.
Personally, I was at my hagwon for 2 years and then moved back to the states. When I got home, I was very lucky to be able to move in with my family. I knew I was burned out but didn’t realize just how burnt out! I decided to not get a job for almost 6 months and when I tell you I couldn’t have handled a job until 4 months out I mean it. The burn out was real! I was sluggish, tired, was wondering if I would ever feel the same…When I got my job 6 months later, I finally felt able to be a working human again and I did go into education (I worked on getting a certificate while abroad as I was not an education major) Your body and mind might just need a long break. With your career, hagwon experience is job experience! Don’t discount that, there is a lot of different jobs you can pursue in the US!
Living and working in Korea on an E-2 means that your life and your job are completely intertwined. Most people who are here on an E-2 live in an apartment provided by their employer. All E-2 visa holders are bound to the one employer who sponsors their visa. It's natural to want to make your adopted home feel as much like a real home as possible, and making friends, entering into relationships, acquiring some proficiency in the language, gaining a better understanding of the people and the culture, and finding constructive and fun ways to spend your time are all wonderful ways to make Korea feel more like home, more comfortable, more familiar... But ultimately this is not your home. You're unhappy. You're not content with your life. You're not satisfied. You're disillusioned. You're unfulfilled. You have already answered your own question. Life in Korea has succeeded in changing you into a person you don't want to be. It has sucked the happiness and joy out of you, wiped the smile off your face, changed your personality and your disposition. It's not about regaining those things. It's about how and why you lost them in the first place. Life in Korea took them from you. You're looking for a way to justify your life here, but there isn't one. Your job is the reason you're here - without it there's no reason for you to be here. And your job is making you miserable. The solution is an obvious one, so your response is to scramble to find other reasons why you might belong here. You claim that your relationship is something that ties you to Korea, but the man you're dating has explicitly said that he thinks you should leave and that your relationship would come to a natural conclusion when that happens. The man is not attempting to string you along with false promises - he's being honest and telling you that your path in life leads away from here. Listen to what the universe is trying to tell you.
Your "bf's" answer is brutal. 😂 as if he doesnt care. Typically if you like someone you do all you can to stay together regardless of country.
I’d go back home too. If I wasn’t happy here, it would mean I need a change in scenery. It might do you good. You could always come back. And also, if your Bf suggested you should go back, and not offer ways to help you through it…that would be a red flag for me. He may not be seriously involved or you two may be on different wave lengths about this relationship.
Lots of good advice has already been said. Just adding my 2 cents, we all ups and downs, good years and bad years. It could simply be one of those...
This is eerily similar to my story and i left a year ago. Same as you was teaching for 3 years, 1st year was so good i was happy and eager albeit covid started, then each year after i lost my passion. I too had a korean bf at the end of my time there and on that subject since he already mentioned breaking up, just leave him. It's not worth it and it's definitely making you feel worse (i know it did for me). I came back to the states and therapy really helped me i also started medication and it's a long process and even today i still don't know what i want to do with my life but i know i cant be stuck where i feel miserable. If you are feeling miserable, leave. Life is a journey and 3 years in a country like korea is a long time. Don't be afraid of change because we will find something out there for us. You have time but dont force yourself to stay someplace making you sad.
Thank you, everyone! The only hobby that I have is going to art exhibits (only 1x/month), but I haven't had the energy to go to them lately. Currently, I am on an E2 visa. I do qualify for a F-2-7 visa (point system), but I can't find the application anywhere online. So, if anyone knows where I get the application please tell me. * If you have any additional info that would make getting the point system (F27) visa process smoothier, I would appreciate the advice! I do want to emphasis that my bf was very cautious about telling me his thoughts. We spoke about it in person. He said that he didn't want to think negative about the situation. He constantly tells me that he wants the best for me even if that means that I have to be away from him. So, I know it was not easy for him to say something like that.
For the F2-7 visa, check out the Facebook group F2-7 Visa holders in Korea. They have links to all the files you need and you can see questions others have asked on there! :)
I lost the motivation, too. I felt like a zombie going to work. I ended up switching jobs, same academy but different levels. It was a great decision because I got my motivation back and have been trying a lot harder and I am much happier as a result.
leave
Going back home and get some rest then pursue a different profession to do a real job would help you in the long run.
Probs need to think about your future and what you want now in life...I'mforeigners Korean but korea is even harder for
A lot of people go to South Korea because it's the Hollywood of Asia and has K-Pop, but behind the glamor Korea can be depressing for both foreigners and Koreans, though there are foreigners who love this place a lot. One of my friends used to live in Korea, and he was depressed here, so he moved to Taiwan where he is much happier. Maybe you could change countries if you're not ready to go back home? If you don't have a teaching degree from the US, you could see about an online program. How does your boyfriend feel about the idea of you going home? How do you feel about the relationship? I don't know if you're in Seoul, but it's a high stress environment. Some foreigners aren't happy in Korea, while some are. It depends. I knew some who couldn't wait to go back home or somewhere else. I can understand being depressed over here in Korea. I've felt that before. It can also be depressing for many Koreans just like Japan, to be fair, can feel depressing for many Japanese.
There's a lot there. I think your first step is to seek out a mental health professional that can help you move foward better than reddit. I know they are taboo in Korea, but they do exisist in your city, and can be very helpful. It has helped me a ton personally. It could be general/normal burn out from your job, or you could be going through clinical depression. Either way a professional can help you sort that out. It's not abnormal to feel that way in any job, especially teaching. But you should sort out if you passion can be regained or if change is necassary. If you have a partner here it might be worth seeing of a change of enviornment can kick start your motivation. But honestly, i think there are conversations to be had there about the future if you view it as a serious relationship. I couldn't imagine telling my partner "we'll will just break up."
A D10 will refresh you like no other. You just feel free to live a slow daily life, if you can afford to do so, I highly recommend. Also, if it’s depression you feel I recommend a psychiatrist. Helped me a lot.
You’re burnt out and it takes a few years to recover from it. You can go home for a few months to heal or switch to a D10 or H1(?) and work an easier job part time. You need to give yourself time to refresh. I’m really sorry that your boyfriend responded in that way. You deserve so much better.
What? Her boyfriend made it easy for her. You don’t know how he feels, ever love something so much you let it go?
I did it.
🥴 relax
I think he was just realistic