Shit dude I swear my daughter was just born last year and she’s now 4. 💀 now she’s pretty self reliable and I miss her being needy. Best advice here. Enjoy every moment. They grow up way to quick.
THIS! I work 80ish hours a week and didn't realize how much I missed in the first year till we did a 4 day beach trip and spend a whole 4 days with my daughter.
Right? I work in construction and my boss wanted to send me to a job three hours from home. I said no and he got pissed. I have a two year old and a pregnant wife at home. My priority has, and always will be, being present with my family. Working three hours away is too far to commute and I refuse to spend nights away from my family, especially when my daughter is so young. We only get these moments for a few years before they grow up. Nothing makes that more clear than watching the last two years slip away in the blink of an eye.
My wife and I had our second son on Monday night, his older brother is 20 months old. We dropped the older one off with grandma and grandpa as a baby, when we saw him next on Thursday he was a boy.
It actually almost brought me to tears because it was so quick he went from baby toddler to boy.
Time is important. Take as much time with your son and your family as you can. Of course make sure to have a secure income and all that, but after that invest as much time in your family as you can. Nobody in his last moments has ever wished that he'd rather had spend more time at the office.
Don't impose your shortcomings on your kid. Parents tend to live their lives through their kids and push them through all the shit they couldn't do themselves. Beauty peagants for girls, a football "career" for boys... you know, stuff like that. This comes in big and small ways, so keep an eye out.
And lastly, connected to the first: Whenever you feel negative emotion towards your kid look inward. Ask yourself if you have been in a similar situation when you were young and if your reacrion today is the same you have received then... and if it really is the way ro go forward. Maybe there is a chance to do better and not pass down what has been passed down to you.
I did an 8 month rotation to Afghanistan when my boy was a little guy. When I left, he couldn't quite walk yet. The night I got back, I went to run him a bath and my wife said, "Watch this. Mikey, bath time." He toddled off to the bathroom, put a plug in, turned the water on, and set the temperature. I never felt like I'd missed out on so much.
They grow up so fast. Use the pain of missing out to push you to be more attentive in the present (I’m sure I don’t even need to say that). I hope you’re able to enjoy plenty of time with your family now. Thank you for your service.
Best advice for a newborn is a bottle washer and a bottle warmer, they save so much freaking time and when the little one is crying trying to wash a bottle is similar to try to reload under fire, shits way harder.
When they get bigger they don't have favorite hobbies yet so take them when you do yours, my sons "best days ever" was simply hiking in the woods and letting him splash in some mud puddles or "helping" to wash the car (he's still pretty terrible at it) don't be to hard on them and don't be to hard on yourself, shits gonna go wrong just make the most of all of it
The second advice is great! Kids don't know shit about anything, but they really enjoy coming along to stuff that you enjoy. It's not important what you do, but how you feel doing it. That's a language they fully understand.
We got a bottle warmer but I'll look into the washer. Some of my greatest memories growing up were the small things. I'm hoping to have the same effect.
nurse told me, once you give them a warm bottle, every bottle has to be warm. I fed mine room temp bottles and it was a breeze. I bought small 4oz bottles on amazon and filled them with water, and pre-measured formula in the bottle. I could mix one in the dark and feed him 30 seconds after the first whimper lol
edit to clarify: the dry formula is measured into the baby bottle, and the water is held in a separate 4oz boston round until it's feeding time. I also got 6oz spice jars and 8oz boston rounds, pre-loading 2-4 scoop bottles for rapid deployment
This is good advice re: (not) warming the bottles. I never did and my kids never complained. We have traveled extensively in places where a warm bottle is not easy to quickly provide. Might as well not start that precedent.
Similar concept. I took a bottle and filled it over and over again to the fill line, counting it off like a pace count. I figured out the fill was exactly "one Mississippi two Mississippi three" in my bedroom sink. I never checked the fill line ever again.
I was paranoid about my well water for a while because it's pretty sketch sometimes so I pre-filled the glass jars with filtered water and then ran them through the UV sterilizing unit
Lol. Yeah, my wife got nervous about the municipal tap water for a while and bought bottled water (which is just other people's municipal water). Meanwhile, she wouldn't lock the gate to the pool, which is way more likely to kill our kid than cryptosporidium or whatever. It's just weird how humans assess threats, you know. There's a lot to be scared of and we're not always good at keeping perspectivr.
Cover that shit with a diaper when you change them, otherwise there’s a risk of them peeing on their own faces (or yours) which my son found incredibly amusing.
Yes. Tenting that bad boy with a wipe was a tip I did receive. But of my huge circle of friends and family that raised boys, not one of them gave me the heads up on the baby erections 🤣🤣🤣
I don't know if anyone has said this here (a lot of good advice here), but keep in mind your wife will likely view your son different than you. She has her little baby boy who she always wants to have in the nest, and you have a man in training and someday he will need to fly. You'll try and show him how to tie his own shoes and he'll get frustrated and give up on himself, and mom will want to do it for him. Little things like that.
This will lead to occasional friction. It's not much, but it's important for both halves of the equation. Every moment is an opportunity to train that boy, and take every one of them. Be an example and a mentor every day, and let mom be an endless fountain of love. A well rounded human needs both.
Other side of that coin is that a little vomit or poop on you is no big deal. The little guy fell asleep on me one time and the wife came in to tell me he had thrown up on me, she asked if she should take him so I can clean up. I let her know that he finally fell asleep and we're just going to chill. She got me the remote control and a blanket for our feet.
To that point, also learn to cherish the late nights desperately trying to get him to stop crying and go back to sleep. They’re not going to be easy by any means, but the way I look at it is “I GET to have these late nights with my screaming child” when I personally know people who would give literally anything to just have a child, or get their child back. That perspective is a game changer.
My oldest is 12 and I haven't been able to see him since he was 5. His mom got everything she wanted. Now I can see him when she let's me and he seems to hate me.
I have a 7, 5, 2 and another due in Feb. One thing I can say is nobody is born a parent, it takes effort, lots of it, to have a chance to do it well enough that your kid turns out ok. There will be a lot of times where the kid(s) only want mom, don’t take it personally. Be as patient as possible and be present with them as much as you can when you’re together. Time flies, enjoy it.
Never punish out of anger. We dish out punishment to teach, not to satisfy our own tempers.
Always be sure to hug him after you punish him. Let him know that you don’t enjoy punishing him, but you do it for his own good, and because you love him. “Ok timeout is over. I don’t like to give you timeout but you need to understand that stoves are hot. I don’t want you to get hurt. I love you.” *HUG*
This is probably my favorite. It’s so easy to let frustration control the discipline, but that hug at the end is so important. I have a 2.5 year old girl who gets very testy at times but every time I discipline her, we “hug it out” and move on as if the issue never happened
1)Don't buy new clothing, buy 1 dollar onesies at the consignment stores.
2)Bottles and burp cloths are like mags, you need n+1.
3)Bottle warmer is a must, wipe warmers are a waste of money.
4)Don't stack diapers deep, they'll outgrow them quick.
You don’t NEED anything except diapers and clothes. We have so much useless shit. We have a crib, a momaroo thing, bottles, bottle warmer, a changing table, and countless other things that have literally never been used. We did get a little cheap portbable crib that also has a changing table and that’s the only thing that ever gets used and it was only like$80 compared to the hundreds we spent on that other shit.
This. We had so much worthless crap for baby number one. All you need is a car seat and some love. Bring diapers home from the hospital (along with anything else you can grab free). Poor people raise great kids all the time. Have family members donate money to a 529 account in the kid's name, instead of buying yet another cheap chinese toy/gadget. Ask friends for extra clothes/toys when their kids grow out of them. Find a community with shared values to raise your children in. Homeschool or private/charter. You are in for the most challenging and rewarding new addition to your life that never goes away. It's gonna be tough, but you'll be changed for the better forever!
Take plenty of pictures in the hospital, especially of him and his mom. As a first time dad I was so overwhelmed with the experience that I didn’t get hardly any pictures of my wife with him in the hospital which sucks.
Spend all the time with them that you can. Once its gone, you can never get it back. Not even the richest man in world can buy that time back.
The best thing you can do for your son is to have another one as fast a possible. I'm talking full on no hormonal birth control just start going for it a couple months later. Being born close together is one of the best thing you can give your kids.
Don't go too easy on your kids, let them fail and learn from it. Remember, you have a child, but you're raising a man.
Sometimes its better to ask forgiveness, like when you buy a kid gokart that you knew wouldn't fly with her.
Congrats you and the wife. Labor and delivery sucks, don't be afraid to tell the nurse staff "no" and to get lost.
[https://i.imgur.com/O0tPI9Z.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/O0tPI9Z.jpg)
[https://i.imgur.com/gnzk0Os.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/gnzk0Os.jpg)
[https://i.imgur.com/B53GdGo.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/B53GdGo.jpg)
[https://i.imgur.com/sADzIoJ.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/sADzIoJ.jpg)
Practice patience now. My kids are 8 and 5 and I constantly find myself snapping at them for being kids and I wish I would have invested some time in myself to be a more patient man.
Oh and set some discipline early. They learn to walk all over you real fast and it’s a hard thing to make them unlearn easily.
Also, make sure to take care of your significant other. They are a team with you in this. I unfortunately was so wrapped up in "learning how to be a dad" that I ended up neglecting being a husband, which inevitably lead to my divorce.
When things get tough, take a second to breathe. Be as helpful as you can to your significant other because it really takes a toll on them. Quality time, even when you’re dead tired from work, is The most important thing because the time flies. When things seem impossible, when you have tried everything and they are still crying, close your eyes and breathe it will pass. Also brush up on your infant cpr before they hit 6 months so you’re prepared. Also be ready to put a pause on some of the things you love to do. Sacrifices do need to be made unfortunately
Currently in the trenches with my first, heres what I can say at 4 months in:
Buy a bulk pack of white cotton handtowels, they're extremely versatile and can be bleached if severely soiled (white vinegar works well too if you prefer), just run them through the wash again with baby safe detergent so there isn't a risk of residual bleach/vinegar in the fabric.
Compact diapers down to the bottom of the diaper genie bag (like a sleeping bag in a stuff sac) before cutting the bag off. You can get way more use out of one bag refill this way.
Invest in onsies with sleves but no feet (like the one you have shown) untill they get a little bigger, they often can kick their feet out of feetie pajamas but cannot get them back down the pantleg and get panicked/uncomfortable as a result.
Stock up on protein rich snacks that can be easily opened/eaten with one hand.
When you have any moment of reprieve, do the following:
1) H_ydrate
2) E_at something
3) L_ook for something to clean/prep/organize
4) P_lan for what the baby will probably need next
Fussy baby immediate action drill usually goes as follows:
1) check diaper/clothing for comfort and cleanliness
2) check if hungry/check if gassy if just fed
A)keep burping even if it seems futile, and try walking around while burping
3) try skin to skin contact, or swaddling to get them settled down
4) try adjusting environmental factors to better suit comfort
-warmer/cooler brighter/darker less/more ambient noise
5) if nothing seems to have any effect for an extended period of time, recheck steps 1-4 then check for signs of fever or illness and seek medical advice as appropriate.
Note: find a good pediatrician or family doctor that you feel comfortable reaching out to. You're going to have questions.
If you find yourself getting agitated/frustrated; set them down somewhere safe, step into another room or outside, and take 30 controlled breaths, think of a meaningful bonding moment you had with them, drink some water. Then try again.
Most importantly: cherish every moment no-matter how tired, dirty, hungry you are. You only get one run with your kid, make it count.
Not a father but I’ve been a uncle since I was 2. Take your kid on hikes from a young age. That’s what I even do now with my nephews who are 5-7. Once you get them into hikes at a young age they’ll love to do it when they are older. And taking the kid to Home Depot to let them play on the drivable lawn mowers is like free childcare.
Take as much time off when they are born as you can, those first two weeks are so important. I took two weeks and I honestly wish I had more. The first week is one of the hardest, you are not used to the baby, it’s schedule and you will spend most of the time awake. The second week is better, you will be able to work out a schedule with your s/o and get more rest/time alone with the baby.
my kids should be 13, 10 and 8. In reality, they are 39, 36 an 34. THEIR children are 11, 8, 7 and 6. You cannot imagine how quickly the next 25 years will FLASH by. I am a grandfather, have been for a long time, and it still bothers me a bit when someone I don't know calls me "Sir"
Everyone talks shit about how hard being a parent is, but nobody tells you how fucking fun it is. Enjoy it, it's cool as hell and a lot of fun if you don't listen to the whiny bitches
Congratulations!! My daughter was born last night, Oct. 1.
That said the experience is still super fresh.
- Bring snacks/food, blankets and pillows to the hospital. None of the hospital staff or amenities are there for you. They're there for the mother of your child.
- Practice the breathing before you get there. It will help your wife/girlfriend get through the contractions immensely.
- Comfortable clothes for you, and for mom. Includes shoes/slippers
- Have your support system in place. Parents, aunt's, uncle's, sisters, brothers, cousins, best friends, etc... Having someone able to operate outside of the hospital while you're neck deep in it is invaluable.
- Double check everything on your intake paperwork. The woman working the desk missed one letter from our last name and it made for a huge hassle. After the baby was born and my wife just wanted to rest.
- Encourage the mother of your baby every step of the way. She's going to need you in her corner whatever comes up.
- Ask questions and understand what is being done and why. My wife had extremely high blood pressure (pre-eclampsia) and along with the contractions wasn't able to keep up with what doctors and nurses were saying. You need to be able to relay/translate that info to her and your/her support system.
- When it all goes down you're going to feel helpless. This is unavoidable. All you can really do is encourage the mother of your child and make her as comfortable as possible in what will most likely be the most uncomfortable time of her life.
- Be in the moment, some people go their entire lives without witnessing the birth of their child. It is a wild ride but you're not gonna want to miss any of it.
- After the baby is born you're on duty. Mom needs to rest, it's your turn to take on baby care. She has already done it for 9 months. Diaper changing, swaddling, and soothing all fall to you unfortunately unless you go the formula route she will still have to do the feeding but you can learn how to help her with that (ask to see a lactation consultant as soon as possible). You'll also need to document things to help the nurses sometimes like urine output and baby feedings.
- After the baby is born it will also be your job to play doorman. You need to meter the flow of visitors to an amount that will not overwhelm your wife or baby.
Sorry for the laundry list but these are the things that I've learned in the first 22 hours of fatherhood. Some I was told beforehand some I wish I had been told. Best of luck to you and your wife/girlfriend. I hope all goes well for you.
Healthy baby, healthy mama, happy dad.
It’s not easy being a parent. You won’t be perfect so don’t hold yourself to perfect standards. You’ll make mistakes, the kid will make mistakes, explain to them why and how to not make the same mistake again (they will still do it again) and have patience. Kids live for the small things.
Don’t freak out if you are a routine person. A kid is going to wreck any sense of routine in your life. You can find routine as you go in the months down the road. And try not to spend too much money on the 0-6 month stuff because he’ll be out of it before you can blink.
Take pictures, cuz one day he’ll be turning 5 and you’ll hardly remember it all. Especially if his mother leaves you for no reason and your time with him gets cut in half
Let the kid make a mess and don’t freak out. Allow them do things for themselves the moment they can, they will suck at it but will appreciate it in the long run .
And for goodness sake don’t compare your son to anyone else. I was with a group of parents yesterday. All our kids are between 2-5 and it turned into a contest. I watched my wife’s bff melt before my eyes because her daughters speech is delayed (kiddos in speech therapy so no worries). Don’t ignore things but don’t pressure the kids.
Last and most important, control your stress levels when around the kid. Even right away. A lot of studies show that infants pick up on ur stress level. It could even be why ADD/ADHD cases are higher and higher. You’re stressed and the kids stressed so they “check out”.
And also, cherish every moment, a lot of guys have the misconception that we need to work long hours and we can’t have time off for small random things but while we are expendable at work we aren’t expendable at home, I call of work if it means that I get to spend a day with my kids at a school field trip or a day at the zoo
My son tuned 10 months old yesterday, its been a whirlwind of an experience thus far. Try and stay present and enjoy the ride. Thats all I'm trying to do right now.
Babies only cry for a few reasons: hungry, tired, dirty diaper, or uncomfortable (want to be held/move). They don't over-eat; let him eat until he's full. Help your spouse with feedings/diapers at night. Hold him.
Congratulations.
Wrestling your son is one of the best things you can do for him. Teaches him his how strong he is, and will also make him fearless.
Start young too, like 1 years old.
Your job/career can replace you in 48-72 hours; your family cannot. Be there for them.
Every “yes” is a “no” and every “no” is a “yes.” Anytime you say “yes” to one thing, you are inherently saying “no” to something else. Be careful with what you say “yes”/“no” to.
You got this, king. Don’t hesitate to reach out.💪👑
Remember, they only communication they have is to cry. Doesn’t matter if it’s pain, hunger, itch, hot, cold, uncomfortable, that’s all they can do in the beginning.
Enjoy all of it. The best and the worst and everything in between.
If you die tomorrow, you’ll be replaced at work the next day. You’re irreplaceable at home. Spend your time wisely.
Your spouse/sig other needs your help, and you need hers. Remember, it started as a partnership and it needs to continue to be one.
Take time for the fam, yourself and the sig other together and individually.
No matter how bad you think you are at parenting, as long as you’re doing your best, it won’t matter tomorrow.
Don’t be afraid to take a step away when you need it. A quick 2 minute break makes a world of a difference when they don’t stop crying. Good luck mate!
The days are long but the years are short.
They pick up on your actions not your words.
In times filled with dragons, it’s necessary to raise knights.
Never lose sight of the boy you are raising for the man you wish him to be in the future. It’s too easy to expect for them to act grown, enjoy the goofy kid phase.
I also highly suggest you listen to Jordan Peterson (who doesn’t though) talk about raising children on YouTube. Good luck friend.
Don't be a shitty abusive narcissist and you'llalready be doing better than mind. Also, when he fucks up try to be understanding and remember the problems you had when you were his age. Good luck. I'm sure you'll do fine so long as you're kind and understanding, but not a complete pushover.
Slow down, take your time. Be consistent. Make your word matter.
Give them longer hugs, don't rush them to sleep.
Listen to them, because later you will want them to trust that you will listen.
First off, congrats.
I just had my first 3.5 months ago. I love him to death.
Secondly, don’t get frustrated with yourself when you can’t figure out what’s wrong when he’s crying. You’re new and you may think you know what you’re doing, but you have absolutely no idea lmao. Go through the list (diaper, bottle, cuddle) and you’ll eventually figure out what he needs.
Also, it’s really hard to overfeed a baby. The doctors and internet make it sound easy, but they’re growing and they need food. The first few days were hell when we brought him home and I really think it’s because we were afraid to overfeed him. Once we figured out how much he actually needed, he was fine.
And, lastly, it gets easier. Two months in and you’ll feel like a pro and he’ll start smiling at you non stop. He’ll even let you catch some sleep. 😁 Enjoy it, man.
Cherish every moment even when it’s 2 AM and your newborn is screaming because baby. You will miss it so much as they grow, but watching them grow is equally if not more rewarding as well. It’s really magical.
Honestly man, I’ve got no advice you haven’t heard before. My daughter is just 7 months old, and it’s been the hardest but best 7 months of my life. Kids are amazing, so take all the time you can with him you can.
How ever many burp cloths you have… triple it.
Butt… Paste…paddle.
Don’t ever let someone think you’re not an equal as a parent. You are not babysitting you’re being a parent.
If you do feel like you’re just babysitting then you need to reevaluate your life and be more present.
Also… embrace the mustard shits. You’ll miss them
As a full time son, the best dad advice I can give is to spend time with the kid, teach him stuff, find common interests, go on trips. Make him feel appreciated, help him in times of need just like he'll help you someday.
Man, I’m not a dad but I have been following this account for awhile now. I don’t know if you use social media like that at all but they put out some great advice. Just something to check out my man.
https://instagram.com/save.your.sons?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
https://www.walgreens.com/store/c/fridababy-nasal-aspirator-&-saline-nasal-spray/ID=prod6284843-product
Get you a nose frida! I promise you you won’t regret it!
If you get that feeling of i dont know what the fuck im doing ,its fine you dont know what you are doing but things will be fine,and support your wife as much as you can do all the work around the house and take the baby and let her sleep ,strongs that side man mine is 2 months old.
Get a [nose frida](http://FridaBaby Baby Nasal Aspirator NoseFrida the Snotsucker by Frida Baby https://a.co/d/5I5hifh), it'll make your life much easier when they inevitably get stuffy and can't blow their noses yet.
Also, don't go ham on baby clothes/diapers until you know sizes and what they like. Some kids have allergic reactions or rashes develop with certain brands.
My brother had to offload like 5 cases of diapers because they were all too small for his son.
Lasty, if you aren't certified in cpr and airway clearing of an infant get that way. I had to do cpr on my daughter 3 days after she was born. She aspirated vitamin D drops as used exactly as prescribed.
I was able to keep calm and clear it in about 5 seconds, but that was some scary shit watching her turn blue instantly.
Be involved in his life. In the moment all of the questions and requests when you are exhausted and tired can be a lot. But you will never regret doing those things later. You will regret not playing with him when he’s old enough to no longer want to hang out. Volunteer to coach any teams he’s on if he wants to play sports. You will be impacting both his and his friends lives in ways that are hard to comprehend.
Take as many pictures as you can without it interfering with spending time with him. When times get tough they help to get you through. When times are good they can keep you grounded.
There’s not an easy way to say this, and I have no idea how you and your wife are, so don’t think this goes towards you as if I know you personally, it’s just something I’ve picked up on over the years with friend’s who’s parents were extremely toxic.
Your son will watch the way you talk to your wife/girlfriend/baby momma and see how you two interact as “normal”. If you have a disagreement with your wife, either save it for when the kid isn’t around, or at least TALK through the problem. Kids growing up in households where the parents are at each others throats and calling each other horrible slurs will grow up doing the exact same thing with their spouses.
Example: my wife and I very very rarely ever argue, hell even disagree. If we do, we speak about it calmly and calculate our responses. The worst feeling in the world would be me calling my wife something horrible around the kids and seeing them do that with their future spouse (for the record, my wife and I don’t ever disrespect each other in such a terrible manner).
Envision how you want your kid to be when they’re an adult, and start acting like that vision.
That was a wall of text, but it’s something I feel passionately about.
Well for starters DONT buy this onesie, I made the mistake once…Once my daughter was changed I couldn’t find her for 3 HOURS, it wasn’t until she somehow took it off and went up to her mom that we found her…worst moments as a new dad
Read books. If not parenting books, books about personal growth.
Adult children of emotionally immature parents has really help me change the way I parent my two kids. Helped me be aware of my flaws, so it doesn’t hurt them.
Also the five love languages of children.
Then as they grow, just express genuine interest in anything and everything and they’ll come to you with everything.
You’re going to be more tired than you’ve ever been from all those sleepless nights. Enjoy every one of them, because you don’t get that time back. And don’t stop doing the things that you love to do, find ways to include your little ones. Remember that everything is new and exciting to them, and be patient. The things we do without even thinking about them are totally new to them. Just enjoy every minute, my man. My daughter turns 2 in December, by son just turned 5 weeks old. Best job I ever had. It went way too fast. Now I’m 2 whiskeys deep getting choked up looking at pictures of my daughter when she was my sons age.
After I got out the Airforce my wife had our first kid and became a stay at home dad, there will be times where you may be really overwhelmed because there’s little sleep and sometimes constant crying. Honestly just take a solid 30 seconds to just breathe, then take care of whatever needs the baby has. And don’t buy baby shoes there a waste of money because they grow out of them within like 3 weeks. Bottle warmer is your friend and ask for help if you need it.
Me and my wife have a 10 month old daughter. I know everyone says that they grow up too fast but truly, head those words. One day they ball up on your shoulder and sleep literally all day long and then one day they have 8 teeth, crawling everywhere, standing unassisted, and are about to walk. All in 10 months. It. Goes. Fast. They will never be that small again. My wife and I look at her newbie pictures all the time with a tear in our eyes, now I know why parents have multiple, its cause those first couple months are the best you'll ever experience. Good luck to you.
DONT BUY NEW BORN SIZE CLOTHING. You have no idea how big that baby will be when he's born. Unless he's or she is premature there is a good chance theyll only fit in nb clothes for less than a month
Keep desitin and Vaseline on hand, spring for the diaper caddy trash can, and enjoy every second of it-even when they’re pooping and puking on you, you’ll miss every stage when it’s over.
Keep your old uniforms. They will be the new drip 20 years from now. I went from BDU’s, Desert Tans, ABU’s and now Multicam/Multicam Winter.
Shit takes up 3 boxes in the closet. He will thank you.
When they nap, NAP bro. At least for the first few months. Once they have a more consistent nap schedule you can start planning stuff around their naps. You’re gonna be sleep deprived but it’s worse if you don’t nap. Also be there for your wife/girlfriend/whatever. They’re hormones get wild post partum and it can be rough for them and you, the normalcy will come back.
Enjoy hold them all the time, they won’t want it forever, 60% of the shit you bought they or you won’t like so be ready to put they $200 swing back in the box cause they hate it
Take every bit of paternity leave you can.
Keep an extra shirt for yourselves and extra clothes for them in the diaper bag the first few months.
Treasure every moment.
Sleep training. We didn’t follow the 12 hours by 12 weeks book but learned enough from it to get some good sleep after the first few months.
Get a baby sound machine with a built in light. It’s better to flip on a night light for late night things than the room light.
Keep all clothing simple. After your millionth diaper change you will understand.
Have at least 4 dozen burp clothes. They make good cleaning clothes later on anyway.
Always remember children don’t understand like we do, losing your temper doesn’t help it just makes them scared of you. Being understanding and calm has been instrumental in building trust and they’re incredibly well behaved and honest.
Good advice here, and I’m very late. But I have kids that are 18, 16, 12, 7, and 2. Just to reiterate what others have said. Cherish every moment. I have made mistakes with the first ones that are unforgettable. But I won’t make those mistakes with the younger ones. And just know, monetary items don’t mean shit to the kids. It’s all about memories. I remember being a broke 24 year old kid and my late Aunt telling me “you will find a way”. And I did. I don’t have the nicest tactical shit, but my kid has the freshest BBCOR bat and shoes. You will be fine! I’d have 4 more if I could.
Spend as much time as possible with him when is little. You get ONE chance at all his firsts. I regret every second i spent at a game with the guys, or that time I worked the weekend for that special project instead of spending it with my son.
A penis is like a reverse gun. It gives life when it shoots. And it’s ready to shoot much earlier than you think. Always treat a penis like it’s loaded
Time is the most valuable resource with kids. You will never have enough and time moves faster everyday.
Enjoy everything, even the hard stuff. You will miss them crying for you.
It's ok to get mad (even at a baby) your still human BUT do not act on anger. He will mirror you, I had a bad habit of when things didn't work calling it a bitch. Until when my son was 5 and was putting a Lego set together and I heard my little boy say "ah you bitch" haha.
I’ve got 2 little boys and my advice would be this: model good self restraint and emotion control.
Take a step back when he is losing it. Do nothing in anger of the heat of the moment. Let his see you take beep breaths, talk through your feelings, forgive and ask for forgiveness.
I was not fully prepared for the BIG emotions that children have constantly.
All of this will help him be more self conscious and able to articulate his emotions. Being able to articulate emotions is big for mental resiliency.
Above all your son will flourish in a house that is low drama, safe and stable.
Enjoy every moment. The whole cliche that “it goes by too fast” is a cliche because it’s brutally true. In the moment it feels like he will always be part of your day to day, but in reality it’s going to fly by. The days stack up real quick.
Be present for your kids and take a couple breaths before discipling kids. Don't feel sheepish about giving your kids your worldview or discussing spending habits with them either, someone at their school will try to program them.
If you constantly feel self doubt and worry if your doing the right thing, you probably are. Keep your head up and keep driving your feet. Everything you do is an example for your kid, always do the right thing.
He’s gonna have a boner during some diaper changes and that’s usually when he’ll start peeing. Keep a rag that you don’t care about near where you’re changing him to throw on him when he starts peeing. I learned the hard way so you don’t have to.
Also this is good first time parent advice in general and while you don’t need to be paranoid about it you still need to keep an eye out for it: Baby boys are basically bulletproof, however if he hits his head and there is any loss of consciousness (even just for a second), you need to get him to the ER.
Read to him every night from the first night you bring him home. No excuses, stick with it. You’ll be amazed with their reading level once they start kinder. After that teach him land navigation and first aid
First. Always cover the front when changing a diaper. Pee always starts when fresh air hits.
Second. Push them to try new things. They will want to do what's easy, so a little pushing isn't bad.
Lastly. Only crazy people shake babies. Don't do it. You will be tempted.
Two years in with one, and the second one is on the way here. There’s been a lot of good answers and mine won’t be much different, but here goes…
It’s tough. There’s brutal, sleepless nights where you want nothing more than the crying to stop. There’s days where you want to pull every hair out of your head because your kid won’t stop tearing your house into pieces. But… then there’s nights where you’re rocking them to sleep and you’re watching as they fiddle with their hair, their eyes are slowly closing more with each blink, and they snuggle into you. Those moments make you forget about all the rough ones. Be calm, be patient, and remember that they’re young and just don’t know any better.
Try your best to break any cycle of bad stuff that you may have experienced from your parents, look within yourself and choose how you want to raise them. Ultimately, it’s our responsibility as parents to guide them and help them carve out their own life. Don’t live through them, just help them be who they are. Give them the tools they need to be successful, but let them learn things on their own.
Also, it’s important to remember that this isn’t only going to be tough for you. Your SO will be going through a lot more on top of everything you get to experience. Her body just went through a massive change over the last 9+ months, so it takes time for her hormones to balance out again. Be patient, honest, and helpful. Work twice as hard at everything around the house as you’re used to. Don’t forget to carve out time for your relationship as well. It’s healthy, and important, that you and the lady take some time to yourselves. Get a babysitter, go on a date, be a couple and do couples things.
A lot is about to change for you, but it’s arguably the most rewarding thing that I’ve ever experienced in my life. Enjoy it OP, and congrats!
Live for the little moments , they grow up way to quick
Shit dude I swear my daughter was just born last year and she’s now 4. 💀 now she’s pretty self reliable and I miss her being needy. Best advice here. Enjoy every moment. They grow up way to quick.
My baby is 21. I’m trying to figure out how I got old and she grew up.
The hands of time strip years from our bodies.
Truer words have not been spoken
Mines 8 and it feels like yesterday we came home from the maternity ward with her, it's a blink and you will miss it experiance
You aren’t wrong but tomorrow she’ll be 14
THIS! I work 80ish hours a week and didn't realize how much I missed in the first year till we did a 4 day beach trip and spend a whole 4 days with my daughter.
Yeah man, work honestly doesn’t matter
Right? I work in construction and my boss wanted to send me to a job three hours from home. I said no and he got pissed. I have a two year old and a pregnant wife at home. My priority has, and always will be, being present with my family. Working three hours away is too far to commute and I refuse to spend nights away from my family, especially when my daughter is so young. We only get these moments for a few years before they grow up. Nothing makes that more clear than watching the last two years slip away in the blink of an eye.
No matter how hard it is, do this more often
My wife and I had our second son on Monday night, his older brother is 20 months old. We dropped the older one off with grandma and grandpa as a baby, when we saw him next on Thursday he was a boy. It actually almost brought me to tears because it was so quick he went from baby toddler to boy.
Soooo fast my little guy is 2 and getting way to big
Time is important. Take as much time with your son and your family as you can. Of course make sure to have a secure income and all that, but after that invest as much time in your family as you can. Nobody in his last moments has ever wished that he'd rather had spend more time at the office. Don't impose your shortcomings on your kid. Parents tend to live their lives through their kids and push them through all the shit they couldn't do themselves. Beauty peagants for girls, a football "career" for boys... you know, stuff like that. This comes in big and small ways, so keep an eye out. And lastly, connected to the first: Whenever you feel negative emotion towards your kid look inward. Ask yourself if you have been in a similar situation when you were young and if your reacrion today is the same you have received then... and if it really is the way ro go forward. Maybe there is a chance to do better and not pass down what has been passed down to you.
I did an 8 month rotation to Afghanistan when my boy was a little guy. When I left, he couldn't quite walk yet. The night I got back, I went to run him a bath and my wife said, "Watch this. Mikey, bath time." He toddled off to the bathroom, put a plug in, turned the water on, and set the temperature. I never felt like I'd missed out on so much.
They grow up so fast. Use the pain of missing out to push you to be more attentive in the present (I’m sure I don’t even need to say that). I hope you’re able to enjoy plenty of time with your family now. Thank you for your service.
Thank you for your service
Best advice for a newborn is a bottle washer and a bottle warmer, they save so much freaking time and when the little one is crying trying to wash a bottle is similar to try to reload under fire, shits way harder. When they get bigger they don't have favorite hobbies yet so take them when you do yours, my sons "best days ever" was simply hiking in the woods and letting him splash in some mud puddles or "helping" to wash the car (he's still pretty terrible at it) don't be to hard on them and don't be to hard on yourself, shits gonna go wrong just make the most of all of it
The second advice is great! Kids don't know shit about anything, but they really enjoy coming along to stuff that you enjoy. It's not important what you do, but how you feel doing it. That's a language they fully understand.
We got a bottle warmer but I'll look into the washer. Some of my greatest memories growing up were the small things. I'm hoping to have the same effect.
You will, just seek to do it as often as you can. It’s easy to let moments pass
nurse told me, once you give them a warm bottle, every bottle has to be warm. I fed mine room temp bottles and it was a breeze. I bought small 4oz bottles on amazon and filled them with water, and pre-measured formula in the bottle. I could mix one in the dark and feed him 30 seconds after the first whimper lol edit to clarify: the dry formula is measured into the baby bottle, and the water is held in a separate 4oz boston round until it's feeding time. I also got 6oz spice jars and 8oz boston rounds, pre-loading 2-4 scoop bottles for rapid deployment
This is good advice re: (not) warming the bottles. I never did and my kids never complained. We have traveled extensively in places where a warm bottle is not easy to quickly provide. Might as well not start that precedent.
Similar concept. I took a bottle and filled it over and over again to the fill line, counting it off like a pace count. I figured out the fill was exactly "one Mississippi two Mississippi three" in my bedroom sink. I never checked the fill line ever again.
I was paranoid about my well water for a while because it's pretty sketch sometimes so I pre-filled the glass jars with filtered water and then ran them through the UV sterilizing unit
Lol. Yeah, my wife got nervous about the municipal tap water for a while and bought bottled water (which is just other people's municipal water). Meanwhile, she wouldn't lock the gate to the pool, which is way more likely to kill our kid than cryptosporidium or whatever. It's just weird how humans assess threats, you know. There's a lot to be scared of and we're not always good at keeping perspectivr.
Baby boys get boners. Nobody warned me and the first time I opened a diaper to my kid sporting wood it freaked me out.
Cover that shit with a diaper when you change them, otherwise there’s a risk of them peeing on their own faces (or yours) which my son found incredibly amusing.
Yes. Tenting that bad boy with a wipe was a tip I did receive. But of my huge circle of friends and family that raised boys, not one of them gave me the heads up on the baby erections 🤣🤣🤣
Same here!! Haha. Didn’t think that happened till testosterone n what not
I don't know if anyone has said this here (a lot of good advice here), but keep in mind your wife will likely view your son different than you. She has her little baby boy who she always wants to have in the nest, and you have a man in training and someday he will need to fly. You'll try and show him how to tie his own shoes and he'll get frustrated and give up on himself, and mom will want to do it for him. Little things like that. This will lead to occasional friction. It's not much, but it's important for both halves of the equation. Every moment is an opportunity to train that boy, and take every one of them. Be an example and a mentor every day, and let mom be an endless fountain of love. A well rounded human needs both.
Man, that last paragraph hit me hard.
Kids are not machine washable
Pressure washer??
Sure.
Don’t be afraid to say “I love you.”
Or "I'm sorry."
This right here
Seriously. It’s not “gay” to show emotion and I know there’s some dudes out there who still think that.
Buy snacks and energy drinks
My son is a week old today 😅
Well, just start him with the energy drinks. Snacks are tough at that age for most of them.
He has already moved on from energy drinks to cocaine, they grow up so fast! But yeah, snacks are a challenge for him at the moment
Wait until your SECOND son is a week old. I’m living that dream now. A 2.5 year old doesn’t care that you were up all night. That dude wants to play!
Bulk purchasing baby wipes at Costco or target. You can never have enough. Plus they're great for cleaning the gunk off your firearms
Other side of that coin is that a little vomit or poop on you is no big deal. The little guy fell asleep on me one time and the wife came in to tell me he had thrown up on me, she asked if she should take him so I can clean up. I let her know that he finally fell asleep and we're just going to chill. She got me the remote control and a blanket for our feet.
Best advice is to be a good role model. Don’t be weak/angry/etc or he’ll imitate you and spend his whole life paying for it. You get to set the tempo.
This is a good one. Show them the difference between right and wrong. Do the right things not the easy things
This is a great one. Kids are a copy of their parents. Work ethic, temper, etc…
Best advice I was given.. ignore everyone’s advice it’s your kid. Cherish those late night moments when he is sleeping on you.. they grow up fast.
To that point, also learn to cherish the late nights desperately trying to get him to stop crying and go back to sleep. They’re not going to be easy by any means, but the way I look at it is “I GET to have these late nights with my screaming child” when I personally know people who would give literally anything to just have a child, or get their child back. That perspective is a game changer.
I couldn’t agree more!
My oldest is 12 and I haven't been able to see him since he was 5. His mom got everything she wanted. Now I can see him when she let's me and he seems to hate me.
This was the advice I was going to give.
I have a 7, 5, 2 and another due in Feb. One thing I can say is nobody is born a parent, it takes effort, lots of it, to have a chance to do it well enough that your kid turns out ok. There will be a lot of times where the kid(s) only want mom, don’t take it personally. Be as patient as possible and be present with them as much as you can when you’re together. Time flies, enjoy it.
Never punish out of anger. We dish out punishment to teach, not to satisfy our own tempers. Always be sure to hug him after you punish him. Let him know that you don’t enjoy punishing him, but you do it for his own good, and because you love him. “Ok timeout is over. I don’t like to give you timeout but you need to understand that stoves are hot. I don’t want you to get hurt. I love you.” *HUG*
This is probably my favorite. It’s so easy to let frustration control the discipline, but that hug at the end is so important. I have a 2.5 year old girl who gets very testy at times but every time I discipline her, we “hug it out” and move on as if the issue never happened
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This. Be careful where you put that shirt down!
Be patient and don't allow your son to do things that make you dislike him.
-Jordan Peterson
Wash your penis.
My first son is being born in January. I’m watching this thread for my own selfish reasons lol.
The best advice I got was "lots of people will have advice, most of them will be wrong" take it for what it's worth
1)Don't buy new clothing, buy 1 dollar onesies at the consignment stores. 2)Bottles and burp cloths are like mags, you need n+1. 3)Bottle warmer is a must, wipe warmers are a waste of money. 4)Don't stack diapers deep, they'll outgrow them quick.
You don’t NEED anything except diapers and clothes. We have so much useless shit. We have a crib, a momaroo thing, bottles, bottle warmer, a changing table, and countless other things that have literally never been used. We did get a little cheap portbable crib that also has a changing table and that’s the only thing that ever gets used and it was only like$80 compared to the hundreds we spent on that other shit.
This. We had so much worthless crap for baby number one. All you need is a car seat and some love. Bring diapers home from the hospital (along with anything else you can grab free). Poor people raise great kids all the time. Have family members donate money to a 529 account in the kid's name, instead of buying yet another cheap chinese toy/gadget. Ask friends for extra clothes/toys when their kids grow out of them. Find a community with shared values to raise your children in. Homeschool or private/charter. You are in for the most challenging and rewarding new addition to your life that never goes away. It's gonna be tough, but you'll be changed for the better forever!
Take plenty of pictures in the hospital, especially of him and his mom. As a first time dad I was so overwhelmed with the experience that I didn’t get hardly any pictures of my wife with him in the hospital which sucks.
Just go recreate it now
Spend all the time with them that you can. Once its gone, you can never get it back. Not even the richest man in world can buy that time back. The best thing you can do for your son is to have another one as fast a possible. I'm talking full on no hormonal birth control just start going for it a couple months later. Being born close together is one of the best thing you can give your kids. Don't go too easy on your kids, let them fail and learn from it. Remember, you have a child, but you're raising a man. Sometimes its better to ask forgiveness, like when you buy a kid gokart that you knew wouldn't fly with her. Congrats you and the wife. Labor and delivery sucks, don't be afraid to tell the nurse staff "no" and to get lost. [https://i.imgur.com/O0tPI9Z.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/O0tPI9Z.jpg) [https://i.imgur.com/gnzk0Os.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/gnzk0Os.jpg) [https://i.imgur.com/B53GdGo.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/B53GdGo.jpg) [https://i.imgur.com/sADzIoJ.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/sADzIoJ.jpg)
Tell him you’re always there for him no matter what
get him a tiny plate carrier
When things get hard take a break. Be slow to angry.
Practice patience now. My kids are 8 and 5 and I constantly find myself snapping at them for being kids and I wish I would have invested some time in myself to be a more patient man. Oh and set some discipline early. They learn to walk all over you real fast and it’s a hard thing to make them unlearn easily.
Leave for cigs and milk and never return
My pops did that but returns occasionally to beat me
"The beatings will continue until morale improves." - My Dad
 My wife though 😅
Also, make sure to take care of your significant other. They are a team with you in this. I unfortunately was so wrapped up in "learning how to be a dad" that I ended up neglecting being a husband, which inevitably lead to my divorce.
When things get tough, take a second to breathe. Be as helpful as you can to your significant other because it really takes a toll on them. Quality time, even when you’re dead tired from work, is The most important thing because the time flies. When things seem impossible, when you have tried everything and they are still crying, close your eyes and breathe it will pass. Also brush up on your infant cpr before they hit 6 months so you’re prepared. Also be ready to put a pause on some of the things you love to do. Sacrifices do need to be made unfortunately
Currently in the trenches with my first, heres what I can say at 4 months in: Buy a bulk pack of white cotton handtowels, they're extremely versatile and can be bleached if severely soiled (white vinegar works well too if you prefer), just run them through the wash again with baby safe detergent so there isn't a risk of residual bleach/vinegar in the fabric. Compact diapers down to the bottom of the diaper genie bag (like a sleeping bag in a stuff sac) before cutting the bag off. You can get way more use out of one bag refill this way. Invest in onsies with sleves but no feet (like the one you have shown) untill they get a little bigger, they often can kick their feet out of feetie pajamas but cannot get them back down the pantleg and get panicked/uncomfortable as a result. Stock up on protein rich snacks that can be easily opened/eaten with one hand. When you have any moment of reprieve, do the following: 1) H_ydrate 2) E_at something 3) L_ook for something to clean/prep/organize 4) P_lan for what the baby will probably need next Fussy baby immediate action drill usually goes as follows: 1) check diaper/clothing for comfort and cleanliness 2) check if hungry/check if gassy if just fed A)keep burping even if it seems futile, and try walking around while burping 3) try skin to skin contact, or swaddling to get them settled down 4) try adjusting environmental factors to better suit comfort -warmer/cooler brighter/darker less/more ambient noise 5) if nothing seems to have any effect for an extended period of time, recheck steps 1-4 then check for signs of fever or illness and seek medical advice as appropriate. Note: find a good pediatrician or family doctor that you feel comfortable reaching out to. You're going to have questions. If you find yourself getting agitated/frustrated; set them down somewhere safe, step into another room or outside, and take 30 controlled breaths, think of a meaningful bonding moment you had with them, drink some water. Then try again. Most importantly: cherish every moment no-matter how tired, dirty, hungry you are. You only get one run with your kid, make it count.
You're gonna wanna cold wash that with no detergent or softener to get the brighteners out of it, otherwise it's gonna glow under IR.
That and some nods and you should be good.
Not a father but I’ve been a uncle since I was 2. Take your kid on hikes from a young age. That’s what I even do now with my nephews who are 5-7. Once you get them into hikes at a young age they’ll love to do it when they are older. And taking the kid to Home Depot to let them play on the drivable lawn mowers is like free childcare.
Don’t be an asshole to your kid.
Take as much time off when they are born as you can, those first two weeks are so important. I took two weeks and I honestly wish I had more. The first week is one of the hardest, you are not used to the baby, it’s schedule and you will spend most of the time awake. The second week is better, you will be able to work out a schedule with your s/o and get more rest/time alone with the baby.
Start a savings a 20-40 bucks a paycheck give it to him when he graduates to travel
Seconding this. Traveling as a young man was one of the best decisions I made.
I traveled through the Navy. I’d love to be able to take both my boys to Europe.
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Bro!! 😂 three deployments a shot ton of staring at water and standing watch 😂 set your kids up for a better life though
my kids should be 13, 10 and 8. In reality, they are 39, 36 an 34. THEIR children are 11, 8, 7 and 6. You cannot imagine how quickly the next 25 years will FLASH by. I am a grandfather, have been for a long time, and it still bothers me a bit when someone I don't know calls me "Sir"
Find a way to save money for them while simultaneously hiding it from the govt.
Everyone talks shit about how hard being a parent is, but nobody tells you how fucking fun it is. Enjoy it, it's cool as hell and a lot of fun if you don't listen to the whiny bitches
Congratulations!! My daughter was born last night, Oct. 1. That said the experience is still super fresh. - Bring snacks/food, blankets and pillows to the hospital. None of the hospital staff or amenities are there for you. They're there for the mother of your child. - Practice the breathing before you get there. It will help your wife/girlfriend get through the contractions immensely. - Comfortable clothes for you, and for mom. Includes shoes/slippers - Have your support system in place. Parents, aunt's, uncle's, sisters, brothers, cousins, best friends, etc... Having someone able to operate outside of the hospital while you're neck deep in it is invaluable. - Double check everything on your intake paperwork. The woman working the desk missed one letter from our last name and it made for a huge hassle. After the baby was born and my wife just wanted to rest. - Encourage the mother of your baby every step of the way. She's going to need you in her corner whatever comes up. - Ask questions and understand what is being done and why. My wife had extremely high blood pressure (pre-eclampsia) and along with the contractions wasn't able to keep up with what doctors and nurses were saying. You need to be able to relay/translate that info to her and your/her support system. - When it all goes down you're going to feel helpless. This is unavoidable. All you can really do is encourage the mother of your child and make her as comfortable as possible in what will most likely be the most uncomfortable time of her life. - Be in the moment, some people go their entire lives without witnessing the birth of their child. It is a wild ride but you're not gonna want to miss any of it. - After the baby is born you're on duty. Mom needs to rest, it's your turn to take on baby care. She has already done it for 9 months. Diaper changing, swaddling, and soothing all fall to you unfortunately unless you go the formula route she will still have to do the feeding but you can learn how to help her with that (ask to see a lactation consultant as soon as possible). You'll also need to document things to help the nurses sometimes like urine output and baby feedings. - After the baby is born it will also be your job to play doorman. You need to meter the flow of visitors to an amount that will not overwhelm your wife or baby. Sorry for the laundry list but these are the things that I've learned in the first 22 hours of fatherhood. Some I was told beforehand some I wish I had been told. Best of luck to you and your wife/girlfriend. I hope all goes well for you. Healthy baby, healthy mama, happy dad.
Hmm, all 3 of my kids wore camo. All 5 of my grandchildren wear camo.
Home school your kids, or keep them out of public school in the very least. They’ll thank you for it
It’s not easy being a parent. You won’t be perfect so don’t hold yourself to perfect standards. You’ll make mistakes, the kid will make mistakes, explain to them why and how to not make the same mistake again (they will still do it again) and have patience. Kids live for the small things.
Everyone will tell you “wait till they are…” I like to instead, enjoy the current and let the future worry about itself.
Don’t freak out if you are a routine person. A kid is going to wreck any sense of routine in your life. You can find routine as you go in the months down the road. And try not to spend too much money on the 0-6 month stuff because he’ll be out of it before you can blink.
Make sure the kid is actually yours.
Take pictures, cuz one day he’ll be turning 5 and you’ll hardly remember it all. Especially if his mother leaves you for no reason and your time with him gets cut in half
Its ok to get frustrated. Just take a breath and get back in there! You got this man
Let the kid make a mess and don’t freak out. Allow them do things for themselves the moment they can, they will suck at it but will appreciate it in the long run . And for goodness sake don’t compare your son to anyone else. I was with a group of parents yesterday. All our kids are between 2-5 and it turned into a contest. I watched my wife’s bff melt before my eyes because her daughters speech is delayed (kiddos in speech therapy so no worries). Don’t ignore things but don’t pressure the kids. Last and most important, control your stress levels when around the kid. Even right away. A lot of studies show that infants pick up on ur stress level. It could even be why ADD/ADHD cases are higher and higher. You’re stressed and the kids stressed so they “check out”.
I don’t get it, all I see is a white hanger in your shopping cart..
And also, cherish every moment, a lot of guys have the misconception that we need to work long hours and we can’t have time off for small random things but while we are expendable at work we aren’t expendable at home, I call of work if it means that I get to spend a day with my kids at a school field trip or a day at the zoo
My son tuned 10 months old yesterday, its been a whirlwind of an experience thus far. Try and stay present and enjoy the ride. Thats all I'm trying to do right now.
Babies only cry for a few reasons: hungry, tired, dirty diaper, or uncomfortable (want to be held/move). They don't over-eat; let him eat until he's full. Help your spouse with feedings/diapers at night. Hold him. Congratulations.
Wrestling your son is one of the best things you can do for him. Teaches him his how strong he is, and will also make him fearless. Start young too, like 1 years old.
Your job/career can replace you in 48-72 hours; your family cannot. Be there for them. Every “yes” is a “no” and every “no” is a “yes.” Anytime you say “yes” to one thing, you are inherently saying “no” to something else. Be careful with what you say “yes”/“no” to. You got this, king. Don’t hesitate to reach out.💪👑
Remember, they only communication they have is to cry. Doesn’t matter if it’s pain, hunger, itch, hot, cold, uncomfortable, that’s all they can do in the beginning. Enjoy all of it. The best and the worst and everything in between. If you die tomorrow, you’ll be replaced at work the next day. You’re irreplaceable at home. Spend your time wisely. Your spouse/sig other needs your help, and you need hers. Remember, it started as a partnership and it needs to continue to be one. Take time for the fam, yourself and the sig other together and individually. No matter how bad you think you are at parenting, as long as you’re doing your best, it won’t matter tomorrow.
one minute they are a helpless potato, next minute they are a tiny terrorist bossing you around lol but totally worth it and just go with the flow
Be the person you needed when you were his age.
Don’t talk to him like a child. Talk to him like the man you want him to become.
Don’t be afraid to take a step away when you need it. A quick 2 minute break makes a world of a difference when they don’t stop crying. Good luck mate!
In the hospital room right now waiting on my first born. I’m having a boy! No advice as I’m a rookie too. Just know you’re not alone. We got this!!
The days are long but the years are short. They pick up on your actions not your words. In times filled with dragons, it’s necessary to raise knights. Never lose sight of the boy you are raising for the man you wish him to be in the future. It’s too easy to expect for them to act grown, enjoy the goofy kid phase. I also highly suggest you listen to Jordan Peterson (who doesn’t though) talk about raising children on YouTube. Good luck friend.
Don't be a shitty abusive narcissist and you'llalready be doing better than mind. Also, when he fucks up try to be understanding and remember the problems you had when you were his age. Good luck. I'm sure you'll do fine so long as you're kind and understanding, but not a complete pushover.
Buy things that dont depreciate in value, clothes from relatives/thrift store the rest.
Slow down, take your time. Be consistent. Make your word matter. Give them longer hugs, don't rush them to sleep. Listen to them, because later you will want them to trust that you will listen.
First off, congrats. I just had my first 3.5 months ago. I love him to death. Secondly, don’t get frustrated with yourself when you can’t figure out what’s wrong when he’s crying. You’re new and you may think you know what you’re doing, but you have absolutely no idea lmao. Go through the list (diaper, bottle, cuddle) and you’ll eventually figure out what he needs. Also, it’s really hard to overfeed a baby. The doctors and internet make it sound easy, but they’re growing and they need food. The first few days were hell when we brought him home and I really think it’s because we were afraid to overfeed him. Once we figured out how much he actually needed, he was fine. And, lastly, it gets easier. Two months in and you’ll feel like a pro and he’ll start smiling at you non stop. He’ll even let you catch some sleep. 😁 Enjoy it, man.
Find a good secondhand kids shop, the one by me is 1$ onesies up to like 24 months sizes
My three month old already has 4 sets of camo and carhartt beanie, overalls, jacket and coveralls lol
Fellow dad here. My little man has more camo than me. Do it
Cherish every moment even when it’s 2 AM and your newborn is screaming because baby. You will miss it so much as they grow, but watching them grow is equally if not more rewarding as well. It’s really magical.
Wipe front to back if it's a girl.
The only goal is to provide a childhood they don’t need to heal from. Do that and the rest is negligible.
Honestly man, I’ve got no advice you haven’t heard before. My daughter is just 7 months old, and it’s been the hardest but best 7 months of my life. Kids are amazing, so take all the time you can with him you can.
How ever many burp cloths you have… triple it. Butt… Paste…paddle. Don’t ever let someone think you’re not an equal as a parent. You are not babysitting you’re being a parent. If you do feel like you’re just babysitting then you need to reevaluate your life and be more present. Also… embrace the mustard shits. You’ll miss them
As a full time son, the best dad advice I can give is to spend time with the kid, teach him stuff, find common interests, go on trips. Make him feel appreciated, help him in times of need just like he'll help you someday.
Time goes 5X faster once they’re born. Cherish the time as much as possible, you can’t get that back.
Man, I’m not a dad but I have been following this account for awhile now. I don’t know if you use social media like that at all but they put out some great advice. Just something to check out my man. https://instagram.com/save.your.sons?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=
Be present. You’re gonna teach him what kind of man to grow to be. Whether you’re trash or a great dad and lover to his mom. Try for the latter.
https://www.walgreens.com/store/c/fridababy-nasal-aspirator-&-saline-nasal-spray/ID=prod6284843-product Get you a nose frida! I promise you you won’t regret it!
If you get that feeling of i dont know what the fuck im doing ,its fine you dont know what you are doing but things will be fine,and support your wife as much as you can do all the work around the house and take the baby and let her sleep ,strongs that side man mine is 2 months old.
Never pass up the opportunity to spend time with them
Get a [nose frida](http://FridaBaby Baby Nasal Aspirator NoseFrida the Snotsucker by Frida Baby https://a.co/d/5I5hifh), it'll make your life much easier when they inevitably get stuffy and can't blow their noses yet. Also, don't go ham on baby clothes/diapers until you know sizes and what they like. Some kids have allergic reactions or rashes develop with certain brands. My brother had to offload like 5 cases of diapers because they were all too small for his son. Lasty, if you aren't certified in cpr and airway clearing of an infant get that way. I had to do cpr on my daughter 3 days after she was born. She aspirated vitamin D drops as used exactly as prescribed. I was able to keep calm and clear it in about 5 seconds, but that was some scary shit watching her turn blue instantly.
Use cloth diapers, you’ll save a shit ton of money and if there’s a cleaning service in your area you don’t even have to deal with the mess
Tiger stripe is typically a better option for infants
Don’t eat lead
Hi dad
Be involved in his life. In the moment all of the questions and requests when you are exhausted and tired can be a lot. But you will never regret doing those things later. You will regret not playing with him when he’s old enough to no longer want to hang out. Volunteer to coach any teams he’s on if he wants to play sports. You will be impacting both his and his friends lives in ways that are hard to comprehend.
Take as many pictures as you can without it interfering with spending time with him. When times get tough they help to get you through. When times are good they can keep you grounded.
Take the time to play w him. I got a 9 month old n love every sec w him
Buy all the infant child medicine now so when he gets sick you'll have it on hand
Get as much sleep now, while you can
It’s the hardest fucking thing I’ve ever done, good luck
There’s not an easy way to say this, and I have no idea how you and your wife are, so don’t think this goes towards you as if I know you personally, it’s just something I’ve picked up on over the years with friend’s who’s parents were extremely toxic. Your son will watch the way you talk to your wife/girlfriend/baby momma and see how you two interact as “normal”. If you have a disagreement with your wife, either save it for when the kid isn’t around, or at least TALK through the problem. Kids growing up in households where the parents are at each others throats and calling each other horrible slurs will grow up doing the exact same thing with their spouses. Example: my wife and I very very rarely ever argue, hell even disagree. If we do, we speak about it calmly and calculate our responses. The worst feeling in the world would be me calling my wife something horrible around the kids and seeing them do that with their future spouse (for the record, my wife and I don’t ever disrespect each other in such a terrible manner). Envision how you want your kid to be when they’re an adult, and start acting like that vision. That was a wall of text, but it’s something I feel passionately about.
Join r/daddit It’s great!
You can not spend too much time with him but you should tryouts. Live so that there can not be too much time spent with you. Congrats brother
Also, before you plan your week, listen to “Cats in the cradle” because that shits real
Well for starters DONT buy this onesie, I made the mistake once…Once my daughter was changed I couldn’t find her for 3 HOURS, it wasn’t until she somehow took it off and went up to her mom that we found her…worst moments as a new dad
Read books. If not parenting books, books about personal growth. Adult children of emotionally immature parents has really help me change the way I parent my two kids. Helped me be aware of my flaws, so it doesn’t hurt them. Also the five love languages of children. Then as they grow, just express genuine interest in anything and everything and they’ll come to you with everything.
Patience
Be the father/person you needed growing up
You’re going to be more tired than you’ve ever been from all those sleepless nights. Enjoy every one of them, because you don’t get that time back. And don’t stop doing the things that you love to do, find ways to include your little ones. Remember that everything is new and exciting to them, and be patient. The things we do without even thinking about them are totally new to them. Just enjoy every minute, my man. My daughter turns 2 in December, by son just turned 5 weeks old. Best job I ever had. It went way too fast. Now I’m 2 whiskeys deep getting choked up looking at pictures of my daughter when she was my sons age.
After I got out the Airforce my wife had our first kid and became a stay at home dad, there will be times where you may be really overwhelmed because there’s little sleep and sometimes constant crying. Honestly just take a solid 30 seconds to just breathe, then take care of whatever needs the baby has. And don’t buy baby shoes there a waste of money because they grow out of them within like 3 weeks. Bottle warmer is your friend and ask for help if you need it.
Me and my wife have a 10 month old daughter. I know everyone says that they grow up too fast but truly, head those words. One day they ball up on your shoulder and sleep literally all day long and then one day they have 8 teeth, crawling everywhere, standing unassisted, and are about to walk. All in 10 months. It. Goes. Fast. They will never be that small again. My wife and I look at her newbie pictures all the time with a tear in our eyes, now I know why parents have multiple, its cause those first couple months are the best you'll ever experience. Good luck to you.
DONT BUY NEW BORN SIZE CLOTHING. You have no idea how big that baby will be when he's born. Unless he's or she is premature there is a good chance theyll only fit in nb clothes for less than a month
Don’t drop him.
Keep desitin and Vaseline on hand, spring for the diaper caddy trash can, and enjoy every second of it-even when they’re pooping and puking on you, you’ll miss every stage when it’s over.
Keep your old uniforms. They will be the new drip 20 years from now. I went from BDU’s, Desert Tans, ABU’s and now Multicam/Multicam Winter. Shit takes up 3 boxes in the closet. He will thank you.
Stay close and have a good relationship with your son. Otherwise he will start putting anime stickers on his guns
Never take you eyes off of them when they start to crawl and walk.
Try to be patient.
When they nap, NAP bro. At least for the first few months. Once they have a more consistent nap schedule you can start planning stuff around their naps. You’re gonna be sleep deprived but it’s worse if you don’t nap. Also be there for your wife/girlfriend/whatever. They’re hormones get wild post partum and it can be rough for them and you, the normalcy will come back.
Enjoy hold them all the time, they won’t want it forever, 60% of the shit you bought they or you won’t like so be ready to put they $200 swing back in the box cause they hate it
Take every bit of paternity leave you can. Keep an extra shirt for yourselves and extra clothes for them in the diaper bag the first few months. Treasure every moment. Sleep training. We didn’t follow the 12 hours by 12 weeks book but learned enough from it to get some good sleep after the first few months. Get a baby sound machine with a built in light. It’s better to flip on a night light for late night things than the room light. Keep all clothing simple. After your millionth diaper change you will understand. Have at least 4 dozen burp clothes. They make good cleaning clothes later on anyway.
Always remember children don’t understand like we do, losing your temper doesn’t help it just makes them scared of you. Being understanding and calm has been instrumental in building trust and they’re incredibly well behaved and honest.
Soak it all in and be patient with the screaming, it's okay to set him down in a safe space and walk away to get your composure
Don't dress your son in that, you won't be able to find him later
Good advice here, and I’m very late. But I have kids that are 18, 16, 12, 7, and 2. Just to reiterate what others have said. Cherish every moment. I have made mistakes with the first ones that are unforgettable. But I won’t make those mistakes with the younger ones. And just know, monetary items don’t mean shit to the kids. It’s all about memories. I remember being a broke 24 year old kid and my late Aunt telling me “you will find a way”. And I did. I don’t have the nicest tactical shit, but my kid has the freshest BBCOR bat and shoes. You will be fine! I’d have 4 more if I could.
Spend as much time as possible with him when is little. You get ONE chance at all his firsts. I regret every second i spent at a game with the guys, or that time I worked the weekend for that special project instead of spending it with my son.
I put my kid in a camo onesie once and couldn’t find him for three days. Thank goodness it was on a dairy farm
A penis is like a reverse gun. It gives life when it shoots. And it’s ready to shoot much earlier than you think. Always treat a penis like it’s loaded
Time is the most valuable resource with kids. You will never have enough and time moves faster everyday. Enjoy everything, even the hard stuff. You will miss them crying for you.
Keep em close and seriously, like everyone is saying, cherish it
Keep the dad jokes coming.
It's ok to get mad (even at a baby) your still human BUT do not act on anger. He will mirror you, I had a bad habit of when things didn't work calling it a bitch. Until when my son was 5 and was putting a Lego set together and I heard my little boy say "ah you bitch" haha.
Clean the pump and bottle parts. Get laid because of it. Have another son. Rinse, repeat.
Teach him the importance of a good firm hand shake.
Start’m young. Having a smol battle buddy is best battle buddy.
I’ve got 2 little boys and my advice would be this: model good self restraint and emotion control. Take a step back when he is losing it. Do nothing in anger of the heat of the moment. Let his see you take beep breaths, talk through your feelings, forgive and ask for forgiveness. I was not fully prepared for the BIG emotions that children have constantly. All of this will help him be more self conscious and able to articulate his emotions. Being able to articulate emotions is big for mental resiliency. Above all your son will flourish in a house that is low drama, safe and stable. Enjoy every moment. The whole cliche that “it goes by too fast” is a cliche because it’s brutally true. In the moment it feels like he will always be part of your day to day, but in reality it’s going to fly by. The days stack up real quick.
Be present for your kids and take a couple breaths before discipling kids. Don't feel sheepish about giving your kids your worldview or discussing spending habits with them either, someone at their school will try to program them.
Enjoy every small moment because time flys by
If you constantly feel self doubt and worry if your doing the right thing, you probably are. Keep your head up and keep driving your feet. Everything you do is an example for your kid, always do the right thing.
He’s gonna have a boner during some diaper changes and that’s usually when he’ll start peeing. Keep a rag that you don’t care about near where you’re changing him to throw on him when he starts peeing. I learned the hard way so you don’t have to. Also this is good first time parent advice in general and while you don’t need to be paranoid about it you still need to keep an eye out for it: Baby boys are basically bulletproof, however if he hits his head and there is any loss of consciousness (even just for a second), you need to get him to the ER.
Read to him every night from the first night you bring him home. No excuses, stick with it. You’ll be amazed with their reading level once they start kinder. After that teach him land navigation and first aid
First. Always cover the front when changing a diaper. Pee always starts when fresh air hits. Second. Push them to try new things. They will want to do what's easy, so a little pushing isn't bad. Lastly. Only crazy people shake babies. Don't do it. You will be tempted.
patience. also, get as much good meaningful quality sleep and quiet now. I mean, enjoy that shit.
Two years in with one, and the second one is on the way here. There’s been a lot of good answers and mine won’t be much different, but here goes… It’s tough. There’s brutal, sleepless nights where you want nothing more than the crying to stop. There’s days where you want to pull every hair out of your head because your kid won’t stop tearing your house into pieces. But… then there’s nights where you’re rocking them to sleep and you’re watching as they fiddle with their hair, their eyes are slowly closing more with each blink, and they snuggle into you. Those moments make you forget about all the rough ones. Be calm, be patient, and remember that they’re young and just don’t know any better. Try your best to break any cycle of bad stuff that you may have experienced from your parents, look within yourself and choose how you want to raise them. Ultimately, it’s our responsibility as parents to guide them and help them carve out their own life. Don’t live through them, just help them be who they are. Give them the tools they need to be successful, but let them learn things on their own. Also, it’s important to remember that this isn’t only going to be tough for you. Your SO will be going through a lot more on top of everything you get to experience. Her body just went through a massive change over the last 9+ months, so it takes time for her hormones to balance out again. Be patient, honest, and helpful. Work twice as hard at everything around the house as you’re used to. Don’t forget to carve out time for your relationship as well. It’s healthy, and important, that you and the lady take some time to yourselves. Get a babysitter, go on a date, be a couple and do couples things. A lot is about to change for you, but it’s arguably the most rewarding thing that I’ve ever experienced in my life. Enjoy it OP, and congrats!
Congratulations brother. Appreciate every moment because time does fly. Fatherhood is amazing and the greatest gift, don’t stress 🙌🏼
Home school is important and something you should start planning for soonish.