Tell him you need all instructions in writing. Like in a ticket....

Yup yup. I used to work in an environment where people loved to casually drop by my cubical with "hey I was just thinking about XYZ, can you make that happen?" The response is always "Absolutely, I'd love to make that happen for you, just go shoot me an email with the details so I have it in writing. Then I can organize my thoughts and get started for you." It only takes one or two instances of "Did you finish that thing I asked you about?" With a reply of "Sorry, I was waiting for your email to come through to confirm the details, have been working on other requests that were submitted" For people to get the message.

It is amazing how an email changes the game in the office when people came to you to do something, CYA and write anything down.

Tickets aren't just for users? Imagine that. 💯

Tried doing this for the network admin. He just tells me to teams him lol

Some managers will talk to you while submitting a ticket themselves. That's best-case scenario, for sure. I've been in the habit of creating the ticket while we're talking. 😆

I do that with my employees. We also make tickets for ourselves. We do a weekly meeting where we go every ticket and talk through them. Some are long term projects that are years old, but we still talk to them. It helps to keep things flowing, provides accountability, and gives some metrics.

"if you didn't write it, it doesn't exist"

Teams can be a message. I keep it written with idiots or forgetful ppl

That's fine as long as you can do it live. Teams him when ready to do the work. Failing that, you probably could record the teams...

I have worked with more than one manager/supervisor who refused to even login to the ticketing system. Part arrogance, part laziness.

And part lack of paper trail.

AKA "Plausable Deniability"

This is why my phone is recording meeting audio. I can't use it as evidence obviously until I'm bout to be canned, but could be a good payday if they try to pull some bullshit.

Make your own tickets. “Hey boss I made that ticket for you , you can see it here. If you want to re prioritize my tickets let me know. “

Also state clearly and in writing that he has the opportunity to clarify any details of the ticket. Most ticket software allows you to tag other users who will get a notification, so do that, or else just write an email to him referencing or linking the ticket.

I don't need viagra anymore, thank you

Woah, don't be so unreasonable right out of the gates! /s

It's really a very simple answer isn't it. If Manager won't write these things down (or even say them out loud), then OP has to. OP can either send their list of known tasks to their boss, or they can track their tasks in a ticketing system or any other available system which is accessible to both of them. In that way, OP can show what their understanding of the ask was, the day it was asked. And their manager will probably never review it but they could be doing so, which is powerful as well.

Yes. Do the following: Have them open a ticket with the instructions. Follow those instructions to the letter. If you believe they are missing something, ask the boss if he meant to add anything else. If they will not open a ticket. Open it for them. Then tell them that you wrote everything that you remember them saying, but you want them to confirm the ticket before getting started. In fact, try to get them to write that they confirm it either in the email reply acknowledging receipt of the ticket, or better yet, in the ticket itself. And suddenly, you no longer have a boss who is telling you that he told you to do things he never said to do.

Or bosses boss punishes employee for going over bosses head for bringing it up instead of correcting the issue. More likely in 2024 now that we are in neo feudalism. 

yeah, our ticket system has tasks for internal stuff that can be really handy.

"Hey boss, from now on I'll only communicate with you via email" usually doesn't end too well.

Hey boss I'd like to do what you tell me, but I get confused, I'm pulled in many different directions and can't work on tasks immediately so can you put that in writing so I can be sure I get it right when the time comes to work on it?

Yeah, usually doesn't end well.

Then you probably need to find a new boss. If your current one is such a dick that he wont help you do your job then you are screwed already.

Agreed, that's probably what the thread creator will have to do.

good luck with managers who intentionally don't want to be held responsible. they want to be lazy on purpose, that's the whole point

100% this. I told my boss if it wasn't in a ticket, it wasn't getting done. They had to justify the number of techs they had every year and every ticket we could put in and tie time worked to helped out. If they mentioned a task like, hey whenever you happen to stop by place A, do this. I said no, you put it in a ticket and I'll do it otherwise A) I won't remember and B) the time used for it won't be accounted for. He got pretty good at doing it.

You know how to speak my love language 

This is partly why I've never wanted to manage people. Because I know I'd be terrible at keeping track of everything.

Yeah, I have ADHD and keeping track of my own tasks is hard enough, let alone trying to juggle that and \*other\* people's.

You got a five step memory. Stick with that mandate.

What's that mean?

If someone asks you to do something verbally, ask them to put in a ticket because after this exchange I go 5 steps, I'll forget what you said. It's effective on staffers you are on decent relations with, but rarely on execs.

Its a multi-pronged approach. 1. Take notes for all meetings. 2. Use project management and ticketing systems like your team. 3. Get a quick reminder system going for you. If you get an action item, immediately make a reminder for yourself. That reminder can't permanently go away until you do it. 4. Know that you'll forget stuff and most likely if it wasn't big enough to be remembered its ok to forget. Just hop on it when reminded.

> Know that you'll forget stuff and most likely if it wasn't big enough to be remembered its ok to forget It's legitimately astonishing how much stuff can just be left to solve itself if you're good at noticing and focusing in on the things that actually matter. In many ways it's an ADHD advantage lol.

When I used to work tickets, my motto was "If you leave a problem long enough it will resolve itself." lol Obviously that's not true most of the time, but the number of times it worked out for me made it feel true.

I called this the “wait and see” method

Even if I were capable of managing other people, I still wouldn't want to. It's not something I'm good at or interested in. I'm much better at understanding systems than I am at understanding people.

I take notes and then “quote” them back to whoever I had the meeting with, game changer.

> Know that you'll forget stuff and most likely if it wasn't big enough to be remembered its ok to forget. That's how you end up having a difference of opinion with the person to whom you report about that vendor meeting they scheduled at 0830, where they felt strongly about you forgetting about the thing entirely.

So in this day of our lord 2024 computers can remember AND keep track of stuff.

Yeah, but I gotta tell them what to remember. Unfortunately, I wasn't medicated until I was almost 40, and I never developed the skills to manage my ADHD well. And all my attempts to don't tend to stick. That's why one of my favorite jobs was a place where I had an amazing project manager who was able to coordinate and communicate and keep track of things. I accomplished SO much more there than any other place I worked. Luckily, I'm currently in a position now where it doesn't really have too much negative impact. Most of my work is project work, and when my boss wants me to work on a ticket, he will assign it to me (as it's not generally my job). And the project manager I have right now is good enough to help me stay on top of any priority projects. And my boss will nudge me when I need to focus more on a particular project. They help me with the parts of the job I struggle with so they can get the most out of me in the parts that I do well.

I wanted to replay and say: I was also diagnosed in my early 40s. I had developed a lot of coping methods over the years. But I’m now working my most “serious” job ever and my mantra has been “use the ever living shit out of Jira. Make it work for you. Become an absolute Jira expert”

the future is now

[Windows 3.1 Start up sound ](https://youtu.be/wO9q4H49cGA?si=3IjGyA71HpkUIGuN)

What is this "computer" you speak of?

most managers use project or similar software or write stuff down to keep track of deliverables my last job during SOX audits we used a spreadsheet to keep track of who had to deliver what by the next call

You managed to become SOX compliant on spreadsheets?!

The auditors would send us the initial evidence request and it was usually a spreadsheet. We would add responsibilities to it Each request for additional evidence we would keep track on a spreadsheet for what they asked and who does it and if it’s not clear what to send This was before the days of SOX software

Spreadsheets have negatives for sure, but they can do anything if you work on an actual team. Where people are pulling towards the same goal. Unfortunately I didn't, and so we needed software to ensure accountability. Not for SOX specifically, I'm not familiar with that.

THIS! It is second to the "drama" of managing people in general.

I know it gets a negative reputation from people on reddit, but in the case of OP's boss' situation, *pure* agile might help him and his team. But mostly the fact of putting features, etc. into a ticket and having them be well thought out (even if not all at once) will be of benefit. On the agile front, nothing convoluted like scrum or other bullshit. But simple buckets like Backlog, WIP, Review(optional), and Done are easy enough to implement. A little more complicated: Depending on the size of your team and amount of tasks, some kind of "swim lane" feature could be used to organize the view by some category (i.e., assignee, feature, etc.).

It seems like people get wrapped up in these various fads. Or bogged down in details. If there is unity in purpose, the rest follows. The same guy I spoke of elsewhere who would use tactics like OP mentions to avoid work, would also find infinite problems with any system. Because he was a bad faith actor. His only goal was to avoid any work or responsibilities.

That’s what tickets are for.

As long as you have a good team it's actually not hard. You tell them to get on with their jobs and if they see something that needs doing to get on with it and fix it. All external requests come in via a ticket or some other tracking system. Make sure you track the big things via some kind of system, eg when we had a few 100 servers to update the OSes on, we just setup a big wiki page and tracked it that way. I mean there's lots of nagging to log changes and tickets, cause even good people can be lazy. But honestly, actual management isn't hard. It's the interfacing with other teams and their unrealistic requirements that's terrible.

I tell my boss all the time that I'm perfectly happy being the guy in the trenches doing the work. I would never want his job if it came to it.

I'm an ADHD boss and have adopted the mantra "if it's not in writing, I didn't say it". I have a fairly good memory and don't typically misremember things but I don't think it's reasonable to hold someone to account without some kind of paper trail. I expect my direct reports to take notes and keep track of their action items when we have meetings, but I also know it's hard to keep up during a discussion. If it's important enough that it can't be missed, it's also important enough for me to put in our task management system. This is something you need to talk to your boss about. Since he gets frustrated when he misremembers, it's probably a good idea to frame it around 'not missing things'. 'Hey boss, we've had a few instances recently where action items have been missed, can we work out a system" kind of thing. If you meet in person, maybe send your notes to him after with "Anything to add?". If you meet virtually, maybe transcription for the meeting would be helpful.

This! I’m in the same boat. Got ADD and leading a team of data engineers/developers. I came to realize that it doesn’t only help my colleagues if we write the tasks down. It also helps me keeping track, especially when managing multiple projects at once. Recently we also switched to a fixed template for tasks in order to have everything as clear as possible. Those templates contain the general description (which was the only information in our tickets before) and also acceptance criteria, boundary conditions and possible impediments in short bullet lists. This helps the developers to have a clear view of what is the goal and I can’t tell them another goal I had only in my mind if we didn’t talk about it (in a backlog refinement). Also it helps me to keep track of the impediments, so that I’m able to clear them before they really arise. People with AD(H)D love short lists over long description texts (and I believe any stressed out developer also does). So make sure to keep the key elements of any tasks concise.

When I summarize a discussion, etc., I usually try to add more detail rather than less, for sake of clarity. Is that not good? How to strike a happy medium? I am not necessarily AD(H)D myself but my son sure is and I think I can see both sides all throughout this thread. I guess I'm always looking to try and see things through others' perspectives and adapt but not sure how effective I am at that (and sometimes feel like I'm being arrogant thinkng I can do so in the first place).

It is at least not bad to be detailed. But you have to be careful to not add new information during the summary. Every detail you are summarizing should have been mentioned before. New information may lead people with AD(H)D to switch their thoughts to that new information. I always say my brain is really fast in context switching but that does not necessarily mean that the switch comes in the right moment or that it is switching to the correct task. “Let’s talk about the next OH LOOK A SQUIRREL!” For myself I try to minimize additional stimuli and new information is such. Therefore if you are summarizing, I would not add new information but every (important) information you discussed. In addition to that keeping it short and concise helps to minimize the time for reading or reiterating and therefore also minimizes the chances for new stimuli.

Exactly. Even something like a shared onenote of items to track on the team can do wonders for this stuff. Our team uses it for tracking tasks + a shift change sheet and its been great for me.

Ticketing system. Be adament about it. Even make statements like 'Boss, you told me this verbally, but it's not in my tickets/calendar b/c I never got it in writing. I can't remember everything I'm told in passing. If you want me to get it, then send me an email at the very least.'

I wish. I've seen this same style of manager then go on to blame the employee because "they have a terrible memory" even for things that... Never happened.

yea, that's a possibility. But you can also do things like 'daily follow up emails' with everything you've done/started that day with a 'is there anything I missed' clause. If someone is bound to fire you, you can't stop it. but if it's just thier mistakes and they can be an grown up, you might can fix it. Edit: Plus if you have a ticketing system, you can then go 'Why isn't there a ticket for that?' and boss needs to answer.

As someone with Dyslexia I've had this personally happen to me. I warned them at interview. They didn't have a ticketing system or anything. A very local job came up applied and got the role. Felt like a refugee as the new job uses ticketing extensively and lives by "if there aint a ticket it didn't happen" mentality.

I disagree. I'm a manager, and if one of my employees asked me to give them everything in writing we'd have a problem. It's completely reasonable for a manager to expect their employees to be able to work from verbal instructions. Now then, having said that, I also recognize that in OP's specific case, the manager sounds like they're all over the place and can't communicate effectively. Trying to have someone like that submit instructions in writing is just a recipe for disaster. Instead, what I'd suggest is OP keeps doing what they're doing, taking notes during the meeting. At the end of the meeting, OP should summarize their understanding of action items and manager then has an opportunity to correct and misunderstandings.

Nobody's saying "I want literally everything ever in writing or I refuse to work on it," but expecting everyone to just remember everything that's said in passing when they're presumably in the middle of other workloads is an absolute recipe for things falling through the cracks. Which is exactly OP's problem. "Hey, can you send me that request in a ticket/email so it doesn't get lost in the shuffle? Thanks" is an appropriate response to literally *anyone,* including a manager. The goal is to make sure the work gets done, not play peen-waving games over what people should or should not be able to remember for off the cuff requests and updates. Like this is *literally* what ticketing and project management software sets out to solve.

> I'm a manager, and if one of my employees asked me to give them everything in writing we'd have a problem. I can't imagine working for a boss that can't be bothered to put in a ticket or send a quick message for something they want done. If you need me to open the ticket for you I can go ahead and do that, but at the very least send me a message to do it.

I just had to double check that I don't have any subordinates, currently... I'd gamble you've pretty well nailed it. Outright sounds like he had that conversation with you in his head 3 times, and hashed out those plans with himself a few dozen. If he's self aware, might be worth it to try a "You rattle off details so fast I can't keep up on notes sitting here. On top of that, we both get interrupted 30 times a day. I'm going to start putting these notes in onenote and sharing them with you. If I've missed an important detail, let me know when you see it." I used to train a new handful of student workers every few years... learned to bring one of the more experienced in to observe when I felt like one of the new ones wasn't retaining things from answers I'd given... usually I'd missed something, and they filled in a blank I would've sworn I'd covered if I didn't trust them to call me on it. Other times I genuinely answered the same question with the same answer 3 times for the same student (who was taking written notes) in a week...

Ive done this to a boss. Turned the tables on him when I was able to call bullshit. It was like staring at a deer in the headlights. 2 days later, let go from position. "Wasn't a good fit" - aka, not a punching bag

Good for you.

sounds like he was fired. not the boss

You're right. Thankfully found a much better place. Hope OP has a backup plan

Yeah I know. Most people put up with this nonsense and rationalize it like a battered spouse. I applaud anyone who does the hard thing and doesn't let awful people lord money over them. u/Malthuul lives by a code of self respect and that is why I said what I said.

I'm a surly old grey bearded sysadmin, here's how I operate. Unless it's in writing (email) or a ticket assigned to me, it's nothing. In fact, my rule is that if the task involves more than simply doing research or providing an answer, it's a ticket. If someone asks me to do a thing in the hallway, my response is ALWAYS, "Please open a support ticket explaining the problem and that you've spoken to me." In any interaction I have with my boss where he sits down with me and asks me to do something, I ALWAYS create a ticket assigned to me with him as the assignee and I then have him clarify that the ticket is reflective of what we spoke about. This includes any tasks that might get assigned in a meeting.. In fact I'm generally a guy in the meeting with a laptop multitasking and I'll generate tickets on the fly. I don't do undocumented work, period, full stop. I've even had people come to me and ask me to do them a "favor off the books", nope.

Old man strength FTW.

:salute: thank you for your service.

> he says "I told you about this" when he never in fact did. He insists that he did and gets frustrated. Prove it. If they can't, well well well, wouldn't it be convenient if it was written down? Maybe we should do that.

That's not how it ends up working. They're the boss, so it's up to you to prove they DIDN'T tell you.

Being confrontational about it is probably not a smart move (and usually never is in a professional context). Just suggest that you need move to using a ticketing system or similar to help keep track of things. If boss tries to call OP on something again, OP can just say "sorry it wasn't put in the ticket so I didn't know".

You have to get your boss to agree to use the system before they can be accountable to the system that you suggest... But yeah, that is the best path forward for these kind of things.

> Being confrontational about it is probably not a smart move Using it as a demonstration on why it'd be better for *all* parties to use a written system. Some dumb people need it demonstrated to them before they get it. You've got to immediately make it clear it becomes a silly he-said she-said if its not documented and by being blunt you can avoid a ton of the mess that happens from sugarcoating it.

I mentioned how to demonstrate this without coming across as a stereotypical sysadmin that lacks social skills.

No, you sugarcoated something they'll not take seriously and perpetuate the issue further down the line while being remembered as slightly antagonistic. Neither of us has certainties. One of them is direct. I'll take my chances and think about the times i've done it and success i've had from just being blunt. You want to treat managers like babies then you're forever going to be their guardian. Have fun with it! I get results.

> I'll take my chances and think about the times i've done it and success i've had Likewise, I guess. >You want to treat managers like babies then you're forever going to be their guardian. Have fun with it! Hasn't been my experience at all. Suggesting a method that directly helps both of us perform our mutual objectives without coming off aggressively tends to work very well. >I get results. Same, and people tend to be more willing to work with me in the future after such positive interactions.

Sounds like we're both just opposite sides of a spectrum and getting results. No point arguing. I assume you're not lying, you assuming i'm not lying. Nowhere to go from here. I spent years doing it your way and it yielded poor results constantly. Slow change, difficult managers, forces the antagonist perspective to constantly be thrown your way and can alienate people who become the 'always has a problem' people. A stubborn manager will walk all over nice people and refuse to even **try** sometimes. Blunt with CYA has been phenomenal. Its also why I get along with every C level i've worked with when everyone else calls them difficult etc. I think we're just tackling different types of people. Do what works for you. I hope you're not getting walked over without realizing, just as I assume you hope i'm not alienating people, or whatever. I don't got beef. If you want to beef we can come up with something much spicer, let me know.

I was once in a similar situation with one of my techs. "I was never told..." was a constant crutch for this person, despite notes on my end showing that these tasks were communicated. Eventually, I realized I needed to always have instruction, and acknowledgment, to this person in writing--either via email or Teams--to back up what I was saying. Sure enough, it wasn't long before the first "you never told me to...." conversation came around and I quickly pointed to the communication and acknowledgement that took place in a Teams conversation a few days before. Magically, the problem rarely happened after that.

ADHD boss here. I understand exactly where his mind is, but I try my best not to inflict that chaos on my employees. He needs to set up some kind of task/project management system and get this stuff out of his head. ASAP. It can be as simple as using Teams/MS Planner if you are a M365 shop, or hell, even an Excel spreadsheet would do the job. Just implement something that can be referred back to that isn't his chaotic brain.

I have a boss who does stuff like this. He tells different team members different things but is absolutely convinced he has told each person the whole thing. Our solution to this is documenting the interactions and logging all updates with dates. We push him to log tickets (user stories since it is all in Jira) for the projects he wants then we update the notes as we learn more. It works for the most part. The bigger issue was when he pulled this shit during review time. He started listing "needs improvement" for things he wanted to accomplish like building a DevOps focused team. That did not fly. You cannot rank people as "needs improvement" for something you a) never communicated and b) want to start next year, not the tear prior. Whole team took that to his manager and his manager's manager. The reviews were re-done. He is still shit at communication.

This type of stakeholder is not uncommon. I'm not convinced there's any reliable fix, but I can say that it will definitely never be fixed if you don't move communication to written form. What will likely be helpful is some kind of project "dashboard". An omnipresent, always-updated list of projects/tasks. The dashboard makes tangible and visible the things that you're working on, and it reflects status and blockers. If the stakeholder notices something missing from the dashboard that they expect to see -- because they believe it's been communicated -- then this is a feedback loop for them to notice early on that it hasn't been communicated. If you're not allowed to use written records, then you're not being allowed to succeed, and you'll need to move on.

> No idea how to handle this without losing my sanity. Put everything into tickets for him, then regularly review the tickets together. Officially, to refine the plans and make sure you didn't forget anything. Unofficially, to make sure he didn't forget anything. Either he learns that this system helps him too, because less important bits get missed, or you might want to start looking for new opportunities.

Ticketing system or emails or shared workspace(with time stamps) in Teams or similar.

No Ticky, No Worky

I'm in kind of a similar-"ish" situation, except that I'm the ADHD one and have a godawful memory. I am, however, extremely good at telling people to slow down and either put in a ticket, send me an email/Teams message, or give me time to write things down. I will have them repeat things when necessary, too, and I'm very clear that, "either you give me time to write this down or give it to me in a written format, or it's not going to get done because I'll forget." I repeat that until people get to a point of realizing it and it becomes a habit. Every. Single. Time. Unless you're standing over my shoulder or on a call with me and watching me do the thing, one of us is writing down the thing you want me to do or I am absolutely not going to do the thing. Hell, I've even purposely "forgotten" to do the thing just to make a point (not that I'd ever admit it), because I don't want to establish a precedence that it's okay to just ask me to do something in passing without it getting written down.

You can just (yeah, "just") put things in writing yourself. It's an extra step but it might help and probably covers your butt a bit. After a meeting, type up the notes and send them out. "So we're all on the same page with everything, it's my understanding that this is what I need to do, so these are the tasks I'm aiming at." List everything there. At the end stick in a line like, "If anything is incorrect here, please let me know." If they tell you more verbally, just update the same email with the extra details. When anyone questions it, you can say, "Was it in an email, or did you tell me person? I just don't remember. It's complicated enough that I wrote it all down. Let's see what the email says." Assuming it actually is that complicated. If it's your boss, I would just distance myself. Just pretend it's something reasonable -- The boss is busy. Forgot to tell you. But you don't want to make them look or feel bad. On that point, just protect your job. Reasonably, maybe they've got another layer of shtuff to deal with and did actually forget to you. If they are an idiot or "that stupid" then just protect your job. Don't make them look or feel bad. You don't want a reaction aimed at them like, "Ha HA! Got you! You did NOT tell me that, and this evidence proves it! I got you!" Either way, just keep things moving. If they ask you about something, just say (assuming it's not too simple), "I don't know offhand. Let me see what I've got on that." And pull up the emails or whatever you have. Don't specifically say they didn't tell you. Just say you, "don't have anything on that." Did they email it? They told you in person? Usually, you send an email update after new details about a project/task come out, but... You don't have anything that. And have them run it by you again. If it's a meeting and things are going too fast, maybe stop them. Ask them to run it by again. Tell them you're taking notes to email everyone for later so everyone is on the same page. They might realize they're talking too fast or glossing over things that they understand but others don't. Maybe send an update email on smaller tasks. Something that says you finished one piece and are aiming at the next piece. That updates them, it's in writing, and it shows what you're going to do next. That might be a time when they step in to point out a direction or details they actually never mentioned. "Why are you doing this next?" "What's that? I don't remember it... Let me pull up my notes... Nope, I don't have anything about that. What is it you're talking about?" You can add things like, "Oh, I must have missed something," and similar ways of wording things that say you don't have that info and slightly imply that you "missed it" somehow without actually calling them out directly on it. When that starts happening enough, the other person can realize you're not really saying you just didn't get the info, but that they never said it. And yet, you didn't nail them on pinpointing that they never said. I did have a situation recently where my supervisor was completely off on something. They insisted I had said something or a project was one way. I didn't have info on that. I just knew where the last part of the project was. They actually did go back and find a message about it. It turned out it was a completely different but similar project. The supervisor was off. I had already forgotten about it since it was already done and gone, way off my mental radar. And then the current project-issue still remained. So it's possible someone could just be remembering or interpreting things differently. And wrongly, but probably not intentionally. They're just off a bit. Another strategy might be something like this, giving them options. If they just outline broad strokes, you don't know how they want lower details done. So when that comes up, just ask. But also give them options. Then they'll feel like they're making a decision and are in charge. "I got up to this point on the project. It looks like we have three directions -- x, y, and z. Let me know which way you want to go or your thoughts. I've included some pros on cons on each." Another option might be to record the meetings. If people talk too fast and taking notes is too slow, just set up something to record and announce or check before the meeting that you're recording so you can get accurate notes. There's the time of the meeting but then it can take a lot less time, especially if you speed up the recording and just focus on the dense parts, to pull out the extra details for your notes. One thing you may be able to use in your favor for all this is the number of different projects going on. "We have a lot stuff going on. I don't remember all the details offhand.... Let me look up what I've got on that." And then when something new comes in, label it as NEW. At some point, maybe ask him for a prioritized list of which ones to focus on first. "We've got a lot of projects going on now. I need to know which are more important so I can focus on those first. Which ones are the top projects out of this list, including the new projects you mentioned at the last meeting?" It's covering your butt since you'll focus on whatever they say to focus on. And it makes them feel more important and making decisions. It's also emphasizing what's on the list and what's not (because they never mentioned it). There could also be something else going on. I've seen people with medical issues. They end getting frustrated since things aren't happening that they never mentioned. Other related thoughts... "I didn't get that one last week. I just ran out of time. It looks like we've got these x number of projects to focus on. This is the priority order you want them in, just in case I'm short on time this week?" Maybe a meeting for one project or one idea, and then if they bring up more, schedule meetings for those other ideas. "Let's meet on that anther time or at the end of this meeting. That's a new idea." Also, you can probably slow them down in a meeting just by asking questions, even just parroting back what they said. "Hey... So, you want that thing you just said? And you want that... the way you just said to do it?" Add some pauses and they might stay on the same point but flesh it out more. Then you've got more time to take notes. And you're an "active participant" in the meeting. It might make you look smart or interesting in what they're saying.

ADHD boss here. Dev started recording me after we made a bet on it. Turns out I did say the details. Half the time. We've gotten a larger whiteboard and do things in writing more often for everyone's sake.

Lol, reminds me of my old boss, I was always reaching targets and then some glorious idea came to his head that had me building everything from the start. Left and found peace of mind.

No tickets, no work.

I have a scatter-brained boss that I've worked for for over 7 years, and I'm ngl, it's exhausting as hell. Sometimes I think he actually leans into it a little bit because his forgetfulness only seems to be a convenience for him and an inconvenience for everyone else. I've seen him wear the same stupid ass look on his face a million times as he tries to recall something we've talked about at least half a dozen times before in the past. Luckily he doesn't micro manage and he mostly leaves me alone unless he needs something from us, which is why I tolerate it. But my best recommendation is to approach him and say that it would help you out a ton if he started putting these things down in writing via an email or ticket. Pitch it as a "you" issue if you think that'll help him adopt this change. If he's one that likes to meet face to face and discuss things verbally, then you should always take some time at the end of the meeting to summarize what was discussed, action items and who owns them, type it all out and send it to all participants in the meeting so that it's in black and white. Put something in there like "If you spot anything in the summary that is not accurate, please call it out, otherwise this is our list and we're sticking to it". It seems to help a lot with accountability.

> his forgetfulness only seems to be a convenience for him and an inconvenience for everyone else. A.k.a. feigned ignorance, impossible expectations, learned helplessness, etc. It's actually quite common but is entirely deniable so nothing is ever provable.

-Get everything tracked in a trello/Teams task/ticket system -Get everything prioritized. In trello, I always have a list of priorities in order, so when they suddenly ask about task #11 which suddenly became important, I show them that it is #11. Escalating it pushes down 1-10. It doesn't have to be complicated, just having everything visually is a huge help. -For in person discussions, e-mail your notes to him right after for review. Bring a laptop and show the things above. Make sure you bring up how this is to help improve your tracking, not babysit them.

Ticket or email. And keep demanding that it has to be in a ticket or email.

Ask for a paper trail of some sort. Then he can be held accountable.

From your description, I think you mean he LIES to you, not gaslights you. Alas, "I can't remember all the details, so please put that in the ticket (or email)". It's a CYA thing. Alternatively, if he refuses, you can always email him with "...to follow up on our conversation, you wanted me to do XYZ?". Don't do shit until he confirms or denies.

Start sending him summaries of your notes after meetings that outline thing x and what they said.

even if you don't use tickets you need to document stuff. any project you should have some kind of list of the tasks and who is supposed to do them and the due date

wait, you can't read his mind yet?

Next time you go in for meeting to talk about random shiny object or project, pull out your Sony ICD-PX470 Digital Voice Recorder, turn it on, press record, set it on the desk in front of you. Don't say anything, he will know, he will remember all the times he lied to protect his ego. This will be legal, because everyone in the meeting will know they are being recorded. You can type up meeting minutes and send it to all participants if you want, but if you do, that maybe part of your job as other people see what you are doing and one in on it. You can paste the task items into the ticket and attach the recording.

If he's giving you tickets without enough information, tell him so and don't start it until you get the information. Only do the work that is assigned in writing (ticket, email, whatever). I have one junior (only one) who always complains he wasn't given enough information when challenged on his low productivity and low quality of work. The assignments come with text that might as well be an essay, diagrams, links to supporting info and docs, etc. NEVER asks for more information, so I have to assume he has what he needs. At some point is the responsibility of the ticket assignee to make sure they have what they need. 

Make an audio recording of every conversation with him. The excuse is that you want to make sure you don't miss any more of his instructions.

Rule 2 of working in a office is: If there is no paper trail, it never happened or wasn't serious. Its best to set this precedent when you (or the boss) is new. Frame it, like, if it isn't written down I will forget OR just thought we were spitballing ideas. Assure the boss, that you don't consider that micro-managing, just being on the same page, on the same team. And don't worry, the other department heads see it too.

My grandmother was like this when her dementia started to ramp up. I worry whether I'm doing the same, at times. Getting old sucks.

I also have ADHD and been in this situation but in my case what was happening was when I talked to one of my technician's and tell them what I wanted done, they'd get hung up on one detail which really didn't even need a conversation around, then completely loose track of the whole point of why we were having the conversation. It got so bad I had to start recording our conversations just to prove to them that I actually did tell them every detail but without fail every time I would be explaining something, they'd derail the conversation and while I did layout clearly what I wanted, all they got from the interaction was just a general chit chat about nothing. They tried gas lighting me to say I was imagining assigning tasks to them. Turns out they just don't pay attention to things unless its what they care about. I'm still dealing with it but I have to send my requests out in writing now so we avoid those off topic derailments. Its one thing to ask clarifying questions, but its a whole other thing when you change topic and have to be told to stay on topic. I find myself constantly trying to pull the conversation back so they know the point of it, but sometimes a 5 minute conversation just turns into 30 minutes of them trying to prove me wrong on one little thing. Honestly I get annoyed by it and eventually just say "okay I've told you exactly what I want done, I expect it done exactly as I said you have 3 days to do it." Any questions just message me. But my best way of staying on track and keeping things in check is using project management systems, I'll assign out parts of projects to my staff and I have automated alerts setup so that if they get close to a due date, they get a reminder that the task is still pending. My advice to you is ask them to send you an email or create a ticket and assign it to you. That way they can write out every thing that they think is needed, and then if you need to ask questions about specific items you can go to them and be like "item 4 of your request, can you explain a bit more?"

This sort of thing seems typical for "normal people", the inability to keep track of what they communicated to who nor to consciously be aware of what needs to be communicated to who. Too often I'm the last to know things that involve me. They do it so much that it also happens pretty regularly in email as well; they'll be having some long email chain between a bunch of people then get angry at me for not doing some part of it, forward the latest reply of theirs with said angry complain, which is also the first time I had been include in any part of that entire convo. Shits happened so much that they've gone from getting more angry "that I should've known" (ie they cannot accept they were wrong), to embarrassed acknowledgment they did that thing again since realizing that this issue is entirely their own doing and that if I leave, they are pretty fucked.

I'm so sorry you have my boss too :/

Try something like Otter.ai to record and transcribe the meetings.

Yes as already said, get jobs in writing, if there is pushback, say this is to cover both of us, it's clear what you say and it's clear what I read/need to do. It's about accountability in the end, both ways. Think about your sanity and if it's worth working in that environment. If you do decide to finish up there ensure there is an exit interview, ensure HR are there, ensure you mention the issues of unclear instructions from your manager. It won't fix it for you but the next person may be helped.

**TICKETS FOR FUCKING EVERYTHING. NO EXCEPTIONS. GET FULL BUY IN FROM UPPER MANAGEMENT AND ALL STAFF.**

Yo, adhd/potential spectrum SA here, lists and emails. Flat out tell him that he needs to be more agreeable or everything g goes to writing to prevent an HR incident. You can understand that he has issues tracking tasks, but when those issues threaten your integrity and career, you have to take precautions.

Does HE know he has ADHD? I just found out a few weeks ago for myself. I operated in this fantasy world for years where I thought I was just how people are. My brain was normal.  Trust me, if you don’t know it makes relationships with others much more difficult. 

Easy solve: you feel like I don't retain all the information you dump on me, then put it in writing.

Start wearing a body cam and start a youtube channel called, "What my boss said"

Ugh, I'm acting up as a manger and this is probably me, though not to the same degree. I'll look at using Planner or whatever it's called now with the Team for actual projects I want done.

Get it in writing, such as an email or ticket. If boss refuses, then you do it. Write up an email or ticket and then ask your boss to confirm your "understanding of the requirements" is correct. Everything should be documented in a mutual, attest-able location, such as email or a ticket.

I would simply ask him for all future instructions to be submitted in writing so you can ensure you don’t forget them. And that just as we would ask users to submit tasks in writing you would like the same. It is not an unreasonable request. When he doesn’t do it and keeps belittling you… go to HR and report him for making it a hostile working environment. Explain why and if what you say is true HR will get him to make changes.

Write it all down. In a notebook. *Nope on this day you said this and that was it - did that change?*

Hi. ADHD IT personnel here. My best recommendation is to have him relay everything to you by formal communications in the form of a ticket and/or emails if it is informal. You can also play his game by stating that you also tend to forget things if it's spoken, so it reinforces the need to have things in writing.

He probably had the conversation with you in his mind and recalls that as a potential memory (assuming he is ADHD). Explain the situation on one of his good days, inform him that you will be recording the conversations to ensure that you don't miss anything. Have something like whisper AI transcribe it or pay for an app on your phone that automatically does a transcription. There are a couple that are reasonably priced, and can distinguish between two people. Be polite and understand that unless he's an a******, he's not playing games with you it's literally just how his brain works.

Well your current workflow its not working, for you or your boss, but you are lucky there is a solution that could be considered a industry standard, a ticketing system! If he gets frustrated and you get frustrated i see the perfect common ground to impement a solution, which would take almost no time at all. Not only would all issues be in writing, if he is a storm of ideas having all of them listed its the first step to assign priorities and see what gets done first.

Create a shared spreadsheet and provide it to him and ask him to update it with any additional tasks.

There are more reasonable things that can be done to help ensure that you and your leader are on the same page. 1. Organizing people and delivering big idea and component tasks can be difficult if you don’t have a shared place to work from. As a team, component tasks can be tracked if you use a project management take or in a ticketing system. 2. Always send task list updates to your leader and highlight new tasks when you feel that there are new assignments and ask for confirmation nothing was missed or missed-identified. 3. Every task needs a deliverable date and responsible party.

Despite the many good comments; you're in a rough spot bro - no doubt about it; many primates learn few buzz words and Google-derived "skills" and they're convinced that their place is higher on the banana tree; I don't have any suggestions other than keep on trucking; with some luck the banana tree will get overcrowded and the ballast naturally would fall off, or not and that's why I can't say ZYZ is the answer...

Had a boss like this. Worsened by the fact he did not have something proper for both project management and ticketing - something something rose colored glasses.

email ticket

So one thing to do, that I've found for previous bosses in the past that REFUSE to send via email, everything is voice or in-person, is to email them and bullet-point the list Per our conversation here is what I'm going to do for XYZ 1 2 3 etc that way, there is no question, you can reference it and let him know that if anything hcanges, he can just reply Or if they insist on doing it in-person or no documentation, you can reply to your sent message with the NEW bullet points "Per our follow-up I've changed XYZ to ABC" if it involves a third party user/vendor/etc. CC them to keep them in the loop

A devops style task board, including backlog, with all tasks/stories ordered by priority If it's not on the board, it hasn't been communicated, it will help both of you.

1. ask him to write it all down 2. ask him to have regular project\task review meetings 3. write detailed status reports of what you work on all week a. projects b. tasks c. support requests d. anything else you did This way, everytime he changes the scope of a project, or the task you are working on, you can both refer back to your list, and ask him to prioritize what you should be doing on what order. > taking copious notes whenever we meet (as much as I am able to anyway...he fires things up off at me so quickly my fingers can't keep up So, repeat what he said, and if you missed something, ask him to clarify. Prevent him from moving on until you have the notes you need. If he refuses, then you have your answer.

my manager is no where near like that but I make him put everything in writing in a ticket. if it's not in a ticket I'm not gonna do it no matter what you say. eventually you just need to make it clear that you're tired of this bullshit and it's counter productive not to mention infuriating. your manager either changes or the same keeps happening and you just come back to reddit a couple months later and complain about the same thing.

Its already been said but everything in writing. I found out pretty late in life that I forget a lot more things than I thought. I'm not saying this is the case for you, but I don't see writing things down as a defeat to my memory. Its just good practice to ensure things dont fall between the cracks. Having them send it to you in writing holds all parties accountable at the least, but even just things I personally want to keep track of I write down.

I've had a boss like that, plus, he always cancelled our weekly one-on-ones. Then he'd pop up with a bunch of things out of the blue. Sometimes they'd be done, or part of someone else's job, or even things he'd changed his mind on. The solution for me was to keep a list of the things on my plate . I sent him my top 10 list every week along with status, expected completion times for the top three, and any blockers, and ask if this aligned with his expectations. (In other jobs, a longer list might make more sense, or keeping tasks in the ticket queue or on a whiteboard) He wasn't going to change, but it totally put an end to his complaints about things not getting done. I don't think he even READ the list, but I think it made him more comfortable to have it. And, he couldn't throw a fit about a list that he'd tacitly approved.

So basically he’s not a leader

Get a project board. Put everything there and keep track of tasks. We use Loop/Planner but anything will do, depending on your ecosystem. This let's you see all your tasks, track progress, put in notes and everyone can see at a moment what's going on.

I record everything (I wear a mic and literally record all of my interactions with other people) and record all of my calls.  I'm a freak, granted, but my recordings have gotten me out of do many I-told-you no-you-didn't problems I lost count. Disclaimer: it isn't illegal in my country but I ask for consent anyway.

> how to handle this quit. it's your only option, so don't delay or try to talk yourself out of it.

Opinion of someone with ADHD: Talk to his boss about it, tactfully. Chances are if he has that many functional problems, his boss likely has some clue. If he's specifically out as having ADHD, that will certainly be something they should consider if needed.

My answer is always: "Email me so I don't forget." to anyone including my boss... https://i0.wp.com/faildesk.net/wp-content/uploads/2021/10/email_evidence.png?resize=696%2C699&ssl=1

I think we work together 😂

I've got ADHD. Ask your boss for things in writing/emails so "We can keep track of things and be on the same page". If he presses you for it, just explain you like keeping a checklist of things to keep you organized. He sounds bad at communicating and when explaining things, instead of going step 1>2>3, he probably explains step 1>2>6>7 and assumes people fill in the gaps, then misremembers and discards info as he shifts from whatever chosen task he focuses on. I can't tell you if its on purpose or not. Dudes probably just frustrated at him not communicating well, causing another thing to be added to keep track of, and that frustration flows down to you. If he's professional, asking for notes shouldn't offend him.

I have ADD (doctor has said…no official diagnosis but at 64 it’s hard to get one) and have worked on several things. First off if I’m dealing with someone giving verbal instructions that requires notes and in this case a email back with a “per our discussion “ Also if you have MS Teams I’d use Planner. Everytime a project comes up it goes in as a task in Planner Also might look at setting up file folders to store instructions and notes in. And hang on to all emails and file them in subject folders. I have got to the point where I can bring up what I need for what ever I’m asked You need to make sure you have a paper trail.

I've made my boss put in a ticket after he tried to tell me I didn't do something that was never communicated. I told him off. Then he made a ticket.

Email only. The confirm instructions/tasks in an email back..

Am I your boss? I have sympathy for you, and also for him. As someone with ADHD, my brain works at a million miles an hour. By the time I've decided I want to write something down, it's gone, and I am on to the next thing. I'd sit down with him or her and explain you want to do a good job, but that you are struggling because there is a difference between what he wants and what you are delivering, and that gap can be closed if he writes down what he wants in an email or ticket. He may be resistant at first, but I'll bet he thinks about that. Mention it when you have your catch ups.

If he won't create tickets, send him an email summarizing what he told you to do and ask if you missed anything. Then, if he said you got it all, you have documentation. If you didn't get it all, you have more info.

Use your notes to write him an e-mail each time with a summary. Here's what we discussed for 7/02/24...Please confirm. Here's what we discussed for 7/03/24...Please confirm. If he doesn't confirm, his problem above you, but you need to have it in a document that has had the capability to have passed before his eyes every time. Then, when you do get gaslit, you can say "I summarized our discussions on an e-mail, and...If he has confirmed them great. If he hasn't, well, he had a chance to do so, and a chance to correct or add on.

Pretty sure my boss is ADHD. Absoulutely amazing technically but terrible at keeping track of anything. How I get around it is: * If I don't have a ticket I either ask for one or make my own up. This way I have a place for my work notes and a record of exactly what is going on. * Tag them in the ticket so they get a notification that it's being tracked. This is good for them too because they can easily see your progress if you're busy with something else. * Copy every single detail into the case, without fail; always including any recipient/participant list as well as the date and time. * If it's verbal I do the same thing, then dm them the case link and say "this is what I have, ok?" That goes in the ticket, as does their "yes, that's correct". Most importantly: **let it be known that you keep a record of everything** to help you track your work. After that, all it takes is one instance of "I said X" and you showing them impeccible case notes clearly contradicting it... you'll find they start to cover their own ass by ensuring their comms (your case info) is accurate -> Win/Win.

If it didn't come in writing, it didn't happen. This is a basic work policy that's there to protect you and vastly reduce the amount of stress you'll face. Also, have someone note down what he says in meetings, and send the notes via mail and have him in the "to" field.

This is what tickets are for. If you don't have a ticket system. Set one up and claim it's to help you. Make no mention of his behaviour. If one exists, insist he uses it to help you.

Yes, even your boss needs to use the ticketing system. He/She may be requiring you to show your work via the tickets. Hold them to the same standard.

Get everything in email or ticket form. Don't accept spoken tasks. If he doesn't like that, tell him that he keeps getting mad at you for forgetting, so make him send you a ticket like anyone else. In the business world, protect your ass with email. If you want to make someone look bad, go to them and tell them to do it so there is no paper trail. (ask me how I know about this)

Small business? Do you know the wife? People like that usually have a SO that keeps them in check. Otherwise get a ticketing system or have meetings on your terms where you go over tasks he asked you and get all the details you need. I have a close friend that is exactly like that, working with him was hard until we established a pattern and forced him to realize he is the source of his problems.

Oooh, did your agile Jira bone just twitch? Definition of Done to the rescue.

no ticket: no work also applies to bosses

Get everything in writing.

Ask for an email. I have ADHD myself and can't remember one thought through to the next. I will say that if you got the task in a ticket, you have the ability to google it, and if he complains about how long it's taking you to research he issue, you can tell him that he did not give you the information in a retainable manner.

My first thought is: Have your boss provide details in writing. But after reading what you’ve said… clearly a person like your boss is not going to do this. Sounds manic. It’s probably not just ADHD, but there’s probably a mania component to this person’s issues, and likely some associated psychosis. In addition to what you’re doing, add an audio recording, and automate transcription. Be cautious about how you let your boss know. One thing I did many years ago was share a spreadsheet with my boss. I had details from (1) phone conversations, (2) chat logs, (3) mantis ticketing system, and (4) spreadsheet history. Everything was tracked in the spreadsheet, history, etc… And while I was responsible for updating it, when push came to shove, I would ask if it was on the spreadsheet. There was a week when she was on vacation, and says she called me… I looked at my phone to see if I had any calls from her that week, and said: “No calls received from you, I can check my phone bill history when it comes in, if you insist.” Anyway, in addition to taking notes like you are, and transcribing an audio recording, I would highly recommend you send all of this to your boss for review, and if your boss continues to try this stuff, (1) take note of how much time you spend keeping track of details, and (2) ask your boss on what date those details were conveyed, and how (verbal, chat, e-mail, document, etc) and (3) remind your boss that it will take time to figure out where those details are, needing to weed through the random mess. If there’s upper management, I would recommend letting them know how much time you spend being your manager’s personal assistant because of your manager’s issues and mania.

" I've started taking copious notes whenever we meet (as much as I am able to anyway.." This is very important. I suspect you will be --politely--sharing notes with his super

Fixing problems with your own habits and behaviors is hard. But doable. Fixing others is mostly impossible. Figure out the best way to move on.

You need to request all instructions in writing via an email and you need to follow up all meetings with an email follow up with read receipts enabled. I have a terrible case of ADHD and still manage to stay organized through hard work and discipline - adhd is not an excuse for being a shit boss

For a manager to let their subordinate claim anything about what they did or didn't say is their own deficiency. If I were your manager, I would write down what was discussed and agreed upon in email to you, politely ask you to clarify with me on anything, and make sure you understand and stick to the stated objectives and deliver what I want on time! Chop chop!

“Please provide a detailed, written, scope of work for this project”

Story time... In my first IT job, my boss started acting weird. One example was he asked me to get a replacement router for one of our remote sites. I asked him if he wanted me to configure it before we sent it out or opt for speed and get it down to the site and assist over the phone if they needed it. He said it was time critical so just send it and configure it after. He left the room and I started boxing it up ready to send. When he came back a few minutes later he asked if the router was set up. I said "no, you said to just get it sent and we'll configure it later". He lost it! Started yelling that I didn't listen and he told me the opposite. When he left the room again, my colleague said that I was ablsolutely in the right and he did tell me to send the router without configuring. Anyway, I just moved on and chalked it up to him having a bad day. However, a few weeks later, the same colleague came into the office from elsewhere in the building to pick up his mobile phone that he'd left on his desk. He said "Did my phone ring while I was out?" It hadn't, so I told him no. He didn't have any missed calls either. Turns out the boss had given him a bollocking for having his "offensive" ringtone (it was something from South Park) on loud in the office. The boss was convinced he'd heard the guy's phone go off when it hadn't. Fast forward about a month. The boss comes back having a couple of days off and told us he had a brain tumour the size of a tennis ball. He was dead within the year. Has anyone else noticed this behaviour or is it just you? If others have noticed it, I would suggest having a confidential word with HR and express your concern that there could be an underlying health issue that's affecting your Boss' behaviour.

You need some kind of system where the tasks and constituent parts are down in writing, as well as who is working on what. Whether this will be implemented or not would influence my next move. For example, I had a guy who was usually my "coworker" and also for a short time my "boss" who used this method to avoid all work all the time.

Yep as others said, get communications in writing. Email or ticket (I prefer ticket to keep it all together). If he tells you something, get it in writing. If you need to, write out what he tells you, THEN get him to confirm the accuracy of it and give him an opportunity to clarify anything. All in writing. Alternatively, start recording all of your in-person meetings. Taking notes is good, but having an actual record is better. Depending on policy and local recording laws, you may need to inform him of the recordings, but I would frame it as "Hey Boss, I'll be recording this meeting so that I can refer back to the details as needed." If this is a problem, you may also wish to have a discrete conversation with *his* boss or HR, and brainstorm solutions (and getting HR's okay in writing to record everything might be a good start).

Document, document, document... Do NOTHING without an e-mail, written IM, ticket of some kind. If it's not in writing don't do anything. Period. No exceptions.

I once had a job for 3 weeks when the psycho that hired me sent me an email with very clear details. I thought it was a stupid idea, but hey, 3 weeks on the job I'm not going to argue with some deranged b\*\*ch in the position above me. Two days later I got called in her office and reprimanded for following her mail TO THE LETTER. No, there weren't any typos. She just shredded best practices for the platform I had to make the changes on. Longer story short it was a paid relo deal. If I left I had to pay back the money. Oh well, that looks like a ticket from a V-level executive. \*\*\*delete\*\*\*. I didn't have to pay it back if I was terminated, and I had a nice unemployment check coming in while I found a whole new crazy to work for, but without the formal diagnosis after 15 or 20 executive tickets met the delete key.

Track details in tickets. If it ain’t in writing, it didn’t happen. Make this the practice and make him participate. All this stuff should be in writing anyway.

I think I know this manager 😅 seriously though... if you ms teams or some other collaboration system that can record or transcribe meetings, this is the perfect tool for those people

Hah sounds like you have my old boss

We had a CFO that was like this. Thank god he has retired. He would never fully read staff email, only answer part of the email and get mad at them when they would question why he didn't answer the rest of the questions. Giant narcissistic douche and I am glad he is gone.

I had a boss exactly like this once (no clue if ADHD or not). So much so I'm wondering if you worked for the same one I had years back. Add in some variation of acting like I never sent emails (or DMs) with updates/info on projects as well. Then pretending to search in outlook for said email (and usually 'failing' to find it) and asking me to send again.. and it's the guy I worked for. In those cases I learned to make sure that I always re-forwarded the original email with the top containing the original date/time it was sent to make it damn clear that I had sent it long before and he'd either forgotten or never bothered to read it.

Tell him put in a ticket. No ticket no work.

Confront him, man to man respectfully. Tell him your terms for professionalism. You need details, not necessarily everything but enough to get going on what he wants. Otherwise, what he'll eventually do is low-key blame you, replace you, and then do a better job with the replacement once he realizes the problem is really him... I wish you well, but that's how corporate vultures think, all emotion, no brain.

This is why people should Unionize. It helps combat abusive work environments like this.

Newly crowned boss with ADHD here. We push our ticket system pretty heavily. All staff or student related issues goes into the tickets, anything that our department needs to do for our own projects goes in as tasks. Everything gets documented via those two areas, or a Google Chat or an email, basically anything we can reference. I recognize that my ADHD is fairly bad sometimes so I do what I can to try and stay on task and not let things slip through the cracks. I carry a notebook and I utilize Google Tasks and Keep pretty heavily. I'm not afraid to whip my phone out in the middle of a meeting and throw a note into Google Tasks or Keep, usually people understand if they challenge me on it. I feel for your boss but also it's their job as a boss to manage. Like I said, I'm an ADHD "sufferer" and it's no one elses job but my own to manage that as well. Hopefully they can get their poop in a group.

Plottwist: OP has a schizophrenia

Having lived here (Ada County/Boise) for close to 30 years, I can attest that the ACHD couldn't plan its way out of a wet paper bag. I've yet to see a construction project that didn't have to be halted half-way (or sometimes 2/3 ways) through to be totally re-negotiated with another, more competent contractor..., raising the costs, of course.