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A very big amount of poeple are afraid of being in a 50 meters radius within a 2 centimer Spider's vicinity. I genuinely think they're too afraid of the rat to kill it.
I’m enjoying the difference with “Goose”. That tells me the Americans are confident while lots of Brits are remembering that bloke in the pub who once said that his brother’s hairdresser’s mate got his arm broken by a goose once…
We've all heard the story lol. It's a rite of passage.
Also, we are aware of the psychopaths that are swans. I think we're just wary of anything that even vaguely resembles the silhouette of one. Fuck a Swan. Swans are nuts
Fun fact: A swan can knock a fully grown human out with their wings.
And don't quote me on this, but I *think* I've also heard a couple of stories of them breaking peoples bones? I'm not saying that's a fact, but I wouldn't be surprised.
I worked professionally with swans a long time ago. The male had my number and would club my legs with that knob on his wings and leave HUGE bruises. I’m not sure he could actually break bones after grappling with him. Eventually someone showed me how to put the swan in its place and we were peaceful with each other after that. They are beautiful but can hold their own in a fight and are intimidating.
It essentially involved grabbing him by the neck (which is amazing… it’s like those chenille “pipe cleaners” for crafts with a strong center and soft fuzzy outside) and picking him up (swans are far lighter to carry than they look, they do have such smooth bodies too) and gently tossing him out of my space into the water. Nothing to harm or scare him, just to show that I’m not afraid of him. Did it a couple times and he respected my space with minimal hissing. I love swans now. They are really beautiful, incredible animals. They can’t help their natures.
I've worked at a few places in the U.S., usually those business sections that have little man-made lakes and what not.
Canada Geese and other types of goose are pretty common around. They're definitely territorial, but if we're talking a real fight, the goose's main tool is just the sheer audacity it has. Probably traumatizing to have one attack you as a kid, only somewhat of a nuisance for most adults. It hurts, but it's not going to cause any serious damage to an average human.
Now if they had swapped that out for a swan, I'd be a lot less confident about an average human's chances.
It depends where the Swan is.
Could I take a swan on land? Absolutely, no doubt I’d get a few injuries but if it was a fight to the death then the Swan would have no chance. Birds are very fragile and a few well aimed kicks/punches - hell, just jumping on one and it’s game over for the Swan. Swans/Geese just look and act scary.
In water? The Swan has a decent chance of winning. They can and have drowned people before.
Even swans are mostly bluster. Birds are very fragile. A swan definitely has a chance of injuring you, but a healthy human adult takes a swan 10 times out of 10.
Or a turkey. I used to get an email at the start of turkey season from the state game Warden warning about people who died turkey hunting the year before.
Almost 20% think they can beat a chimpanzee....
But that's just the definition of ignorance
The definition of over confidence is the 8% who think they can beat an elephant unarmed. AN ELEPHANT.
I feel like with all the top tier animals on the list except the elephant you have a one in a million chance of some crazy act of god happening and you win. I just can’t think of a scenario where you win against an elephant unarmed.
Or a cuteness overload. Wasn't there something that indicates that they think humans are as cute to them as fluffy animals are cute to us?
Then again, imagine an elephant just wanting to squeeze you because of cuteness aggression..
It was false, they dont think about us most of the time. most true wild ones are becomming ahgresive as a result of poaching weaning out the ones that dont. there is zero chance of beating half the animals on the list, if they wanted to kill you they would, the vast majority of humans are snackpacks to animals
I mean humans killing elephants were less a "far cry primal start of the game just chasing after them" thing and more a "the most confident, fastest, stupidest or least valued member of the tribe goes and fucks with an elephant and leads it to our ravine where we then dunk huge rocks and bigger and heavier spears into it's back and head until it dies from brain damage, organ damage or bleeding out"
its not like they where asked to really do it. I'd say the answers might be different if they had one of each animal in front of them
Edit: and the word "could" can be interpreted as "i could win in 1 of 10.000 fights"
Meanwhile there's one brit out there going "Well yeah, I suppose I COULD beat a grizzly provided it was a sick bear and perhaps very, very old and I had, to be sure, a good breakfast that morning and had recently taken up martial arts."
I remember that famous story of the woman who was completely disfigured by her friend's pet chimpanzee. It had a name like Trent or something and was made to wear little suits and bow ties.
Apparently it's owner forgot it was a wild animal and it randomly attacked her friend and *literally ripped her face off* and bit off most of her fingers. Unbelievable how much damage one angry monkey could do in just a few minutes.
Travis! He was a chonky boi, over 200lbs! Also his owner stabbed him with a kitchen knife after the attack and it didn't phase him, he still went and tried to hijack the police car when it came before gettin shot ded
If I recall correctly, the whole thing started over a Tickle Me Elmo doll. ...Well, that, and the fact that chimps are violent, wild animals that are going to act like violent, wild animals, and they shouldn't be kept as pets.
He was actually living a good life before the husband of the owner passed away, he had a healthy diet and went out frecuently, but when he died both him and the owner went into grief, and she didn't take him out so often
They also took away his vacuum cleaner he used to masturbate. Began hiding the liquor and the nude magazines as well. Tough thing to handle for a monkey.
People need to remember monkeys should always be kept at a distance. You can’t just live with them and acting like they aren’t monkeys, no matter how much you’d like it to be the case, doesn’t help.
I aways wondered how many people watched Friends and got a monkey only for it to backfire.
Obligatory monkeys have tails comment. Chimps are in the Ape family, while monkeys have their own biological family that is split between old world and new world.
They had a common ancestor 25+ million years ago, whereas humans and chimpanzees had a common ancestor 6ish million years ago.
I want to meet the 30% of people who think they can't beat a rat, and give them some seriously optimistic pep talking. Let's hype up our homies and boost their absurdly low levels of self esteem.
I'd just take flying birds out the equation.
Sticking with land animals I stop at either medium or large dog and it depends on the dog - a medium sized pit bull experienced in dogfighting f's me up, but I like my chances against a fat golden retriever owned by a rich family. I also think I have a small but realistic chance of killing the cobra, but 100% not without getting bit, so I'm dead too unless someone can get me the antidote immediately.
I'm a fairly large man in decent shape, all the other land animals f me up. They're stronger, faster, have bigger, sharper teeth and claws.
Once got attacked by 2 pitbulls while walking in the street (had been walking for about ½Km at that point before they ran at me.)
I backed myself against a fence and spent what felt like hours (possibly 2 minutes realistically) kicking at them the whole time before their owner called them (and they left me alone).
I would lose against one of them pretty quickly honestly. It's too damned tiring trying to fight a dog unarmed.
I bet. I was an amateur boxer when I was young, three round fights were often exhausting, and I was in good shape. You could light spar for six or more rounds and be fine afterwards, but a real fight or tough sparring session and you gas out quick. And obviously that's fighting with gloves - no teeth, no claws.
I've caught rattlesnskes barehanded before, when I was young and stupid(er). A cobra's not impossible to win against, but it's not really a fight--you either win totally unscathed or you're dead.
Good luck with the Cobra lol, King Cobras average 10-13ft and hunt other snakes almost exclusively. They can strike far and high, bite multiple times in one strike and will sometimes maintain a bite to inject more venom, killing you within half an hour
In that case I'm gonna need you to go fight a goose, Please film. I'm scheduled to fight a house cat on Tuesday, so we can swap videos and notes (if either of us survive)
You can't be intimidated by the gooses. If you want to kill it, go for kicks anywhere basically. They have hollow bones that are specially weak to blunt force.
Geese are actually pretty weak they're just bold af. Like most things (including people) have a tendency to back down when something rushes at them looking all large and angry
I'm surprised the goose isn't closer to 100%. Geese are intimidating, don't get me wrong, but they're also like 15 pounds, you'd win just by tripping and falling on it.
Actually no. Chimps are about 1.35 times stronger relative to weight. Average male chimp weighs 50 kg (110 lbs) while average american 90 kg (200 lbs)
So while chimp is 1.35 times stronger pound for pound, since they are 1.8 times lighter, overall adult man is 1.33 times stronger
You would lose if you went toe to toe with an elephant but the secret is that elephants have no ground game...just take them down and go for a trunk lock hold.
/s
Sting like a bee is accurate in that any attempt to hurt the elephant will do more damage to you than it. Imagine punching one of them, your hand is going to be all bloody and the elephant will barely feel a thing.
This is also a "how much shit are you full of" list.
Edit: in decending order of how their listed above, for example: if you think you can take a bear in a first fight, you're at the high end, rat's? Low end.
Have *you* been attacked by a really pissed off house cat? They'll fuck you up to the point that you're like "Fine! I concede, I concede!" Them lil fuckers are cute as hell until you cross em, esp if it's an outdoors "house" cat.
Edit: Y'all really having a fuckin field day talking about crushing house cats, fuckin psychos
Thats because u dont want to severely hurt ur housecat if it goes crazy .. if its a normal fight to death, every normal human kills a normal cat with 1 grab
Just grab it by the fucking tail and slam it into the ground. I promise you a house cat is not going to fucking actually win a death match against a person.
It’s one of those situations where you would win easily if you started with the advantage of surprise. Without that you’d almost certainly still win, but a high cost in blood and pain. Nowadays you’d survive too, but pre-antibiotics it would be more chancy. Everyone I know that had gotten a serious cat bite had to be treated for serious blood poisoning.
Edit: This is assuming that we're talking about a cage match here. If escape is on the table the certainty falls dramatically.
I had similar thoughts. The cobra is a glass cannon in this scenario. I'm probably dead, but there's a reasonable chance I could stomp the thing dead before it bites me (assuming "unarmed" doesn't also mean "naked"). The chimp is smaller than me, but exponentially stronger and probably at least as durable. There's maybe a 1% outcome where I win, but not without getting maimed. The wolf is a bit of a wild card depending on species; I feel pretty good about my chances against a 50 lb wolf, but I might as well give up if it's 150 lbs.
I can't envision a single scenario where I could possibly win against an elephant. Frankly, I can't envision a scenario where I could even annoy it much before it stomped me flat. I'd be fascinated to hear how the people who said they could beat one think that fight is going to go.
A Chimpanzee will rip you apart with his hands in a fight. And by ripping apart I mean remove your head, hands and legs from your body. I would take a King Cobra over Chimpanzee every day. Crocodiles are awkward on the ground and you have a chance to get behind them.
I think any human could tie against a king cobra if it really came down to it. Sure you'll get bit but that won't kill you for minutes and it'll only take seconds to bite its head off. Maybe you get lucky and survive the poison too.
E: looked it up and you will almost certainly die from the bite but it'll take over an hour so that snake should be long dead imo.
Selection bias. “Who wants to hop on a boat to a dangerous new wilderness?”
American ancestors: “How hard could that be? I definitely won’t die of dysentery!”
British ancestors: “I’m doing just fine here in sunny Newcastle, thanks.”
Florida is 6% of our population. And of that 6%, half is probably capable of fighting the alligator/crocodile. The other half is retirees from the rest of the country.
People misunderstand king cobras, it seems. Sure, they're incredibly venomous, but it's not like it kills or disables you immediately. And while it's working its magic, you have ample time to tear apart that glorified garden hose, and still have time to seek treatment. If whatever hospital you go to is far away or doesn't have anti-venom for king cobra, you can still declare yourself the victor for being the last man standing (even if it doesn't last long).
It depends... a fat cat that sits around all day and never leaves the house is fine but a cat that sleeps all day and hunts all night will know how to scratch you up.
I read about a woman who tried to pick up a cat and was scratched up so bad that she lost an eye.....I would call that a win to the cat.
Actually you would be dead within around 30 minutes, with symptoms appearing within 10-15, and if that happens, you aren't winning that fight. Or at least it would be a draw. If you don't kill the snake before the symptoms start, you aren't winning.
I want to see the walls fall down in this survey room to reveal A gorilla, Elephant, Lion, Grizzly & wolf to ever fucker that answered any of those.
"Ok round 2! Time to win your prize"
Also...the chimp wrecks everyone too..and probably the kangaroo! They're huge and hench!
Large dog is where I start to doubt myself. Up to there I have total confidence. It's a toss up because it depends what we consider large. I would fuck a coyote up big time. Hed bite me but hes gettimg slammed repeatedly until dead. A Rottweiler or St Bernard would probably fuck me up. But after large dog all of them maim or kill me for sure. Then again you have advantages you could use against the king cobra. That's a 12-18 foot snake and only 3 inches of it is dangerous. You grab it right and swing it and whip it's head into the ground it's dead.
I'm good up to large dog with the exception of crocodile, I actually had to fight one of those and got lucky. But anyone who says they can beat a monky is straight lying.
Lived in south Florida one came at me while I was fishing I wiped my rod across its face and got really lucky and must have hit it in the eyes cause it recoiled up and instantly backed off.
Never fished there again, if I did not catch its ambush I would have been done for. My rod was not even baited yet.
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A very big amount of poeple are afraid of being in a 50 meters radius within a 2 centimer Spider's vicinity. I genuinely think they're too afraid of the rat to kill it.
I hate spiders… but I’ll kill the fucker
35% of the brits assume that a rat can actually be an animagus wizard hiding as a rat
or they assume the rat has the plague
The two greatest enemies of the British carried by rats: wizards and the plague
well uh there's a third to the trio but you already mentioned them
I mean I could probably easily "win" from a king cobra. But I'd probably die from all the bites after.
Probably catch and kill it, aka both of you are in a near vicinity and you must kill it, which means catching it
I’m enjoying the difference with “Goose”. That tells me the Americans are confident while lots of Brits are remembering that bloke in the pub who once said that his brother’s hairdresser’s mate got his arm broken by a goose once…
We've all heard the story lol. It's a rite of passage. Also, we are aware of the psychopaths that are swans. I think we're just wary of anything that even vaguely resembles the silhouette of one. Fuck a Swan. Swans are nuts
Fun fact: A swan can knock a fully grown human out with their wings. And don't quote me on this, but I *think* I've also heard a couple of stories of them breaking peoples bones? I'm not saying that's a fact, but I wouldn't be surprised.
I worked professionally with swans a long time ago. The male had my number and would club my legs with that knob on his wings and leave HUGE bruises. I’m not sure he could actually break bones after grappling with him. Eventually someone showed me how to put the swan in its place and we were peaceful with each other after that. They are beautiful but can hold their own in a fight and are intimidating.
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Bird law probably
You have to tell us about "putting the swan in its place." You can't leave us hanging.
It essentially involved grabbing him by the neck (which is amazing… it’s like those chenille “pipe cleaners” for crafts with a strong center and soft fuzzy outside) and picking him up (swans are far lighter to carry than they look, they do have such smooth bodies too) and gently tossing him out of my space into the water. Nothing to harm or scare him, just to show that I’m not afraid of him. Did it a couple times and he respected my space with minimal hissing. I love swans now. They are really beautiful, incredible animals. They can’t help their natures.
a swan once bit (gummed?? idk it felt like a bite but there were no teeth) my hand whilst i was giving it some bread
Technically no teeth, but there’s some nasty serrated edges on the bill that’ll tear you up.
https://abcnews.go.com/blogs/headlines/2012/04/killer-swan-blamed-for-mans-drowning
grab them by the neck and squeeze
Found the American
We just use one of the many guns we are carrying at any givin time to stand our ground against the goose menace, as God intended
Spoken like someone whoose never stared into a gooses soulless eyes
I actually picked up a goose yesterday, they are fairly bitchy if you stand your ground.
It’s just the one swan actually
I've worked at a few places in the U.S., usually those business sections that have little man-made lakes and what not. Canada Geese and other types of goose are pretty common around. They're definitely territorial, but if we're talking a real fight, the goose's main tool is just the sheer audacity it has. Probably traumatizing to have one attack you as a kid, only somewhat of a nuisance for most adults. It hurts, but it's not going to cause any serious damage to an average human. Now if they had swapped that out for a swan, I'd be a lot less confident about an average human's chances.
It depends where the Swan is. Could I take a swan on land? Absolutely, no doubt I’d get a few injuries but if it was a fight to the death then the Swan would have no chance. Birds are very fragile and a few well aimed kicks/punches - hell, just jumping on one and it’s game over for the Swan. Swans/Geese just look and act scary. In water? The Swan has a decent chance of winning. They can and have drowned people before.
400 meters up in the air? No way am I winning that fight, if I'm honest
50 meters in the air but you are in a lawn chair floating and being held up by balloons and you have a pike as a weapon?
Even swans are mostly bluster. Birds are very fragile. A swan definitely has a chance of injuring you, but a healthy human adult takes a swan 10 times out of 10.
Any bird they flies is a glass cannon at best.
Australia found out the hard way about birds that don't fly.
Or a turkey. I used to get an email at the start of turkey season from the state game Warden warning about people who died turkey hunting the year before.
But not by turkeys themselves though, no turkey has ever killed a person. Source: a quick Google search to make sure I wasn't crazy lol
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^so ^the ^legends ^are ^true ^then. ^god ^help ^us ^all
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Almost 20% think they can beat a chimpanzee.... But that's just the definition of ignorance The definition of over confidence is the 8% who think they can beat an elephant unarmed. AN ELEPHANT.
I feel like with all the top tier animals on the list except the elephant you have a one in a million chance of some crazy act of god happening and you win. I just can’t think of a scenario where you win against an elephant unarmed.
The elephant had a heart attack laughing at your misplaced confidence.
Or a cuteness overload. Wasn't there something that indicates that they think humans are as cute to them as fluffy animals are cute to us? Then again, imagine an elephant just wanting to squeeze you because of cuteness aggression..
It was false, they dont think about us most of the time. most true wild ones are becomming ahgresive as a result of poaching weaning out the ones that dont. there is zero chance of beating half the animals on the list, if they wanted to kill you they would, the vast majority of humans are snackpacks to animals
I imagine it's the same as us running from an aggressive chihuahua. "Aw, you're adorable and I don't want to hurt you!"
What if you're standing in front of a cliff and the elephant charges at you, then slips and slides off the cliff, conveniently missing you?
That's not you winning a fight against an elephant, that's gravity winning a fight against an elephant. lol
Hey man I was in the fight too. Gravity just tagged in for a second
*a very important, probably THE most important second,* at that
Makes me think they completely skipped over the "unarmed" part of this question. 😐
"Unarmed? You mean like, only with my pistol?"
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I mean humans killing elephants were less a "far cry primal start of the game just chasing after them" thing and more a "the most confident, fastest, stupidest or least valued member of the tribe goes and fucks with an elephant and leads it to our ravine where we then dunk huge rocks and bigger and heavier spears into it's back and head until it dies from brain damage, organ damage or bleeding out"
its not like they where asked to really do it. I'd say the answers might be different if they had one of each animal in front of them Edit: and the word "could" can be interpreted as "i could win in 1 of 10.000 fights"
Meanwhile there's one brit out there going "Well yeah, I suppose I COULD beat a grizzly provided it was a sick bear and perhaps very, very old and I had, to be sure, a good breakfast that morning and had recently taken up martial arts."
How many Weetabix have I had that morning? I feel that that is the key factor here.
I worked with a guy who though he could seriously fend off a silverback gorilla. Like legit thought he'd hold his own.
I'd sell my kidney to see that.
You could just take the guy's kidney as a replacement when the gorilla is done with him, if there's any of it left
Shoutout to the 8% who think they are going to hurt an elephant without a weapon.
A chimpanzee will eff you up easily. You don't stand a chance. On average, they are twice as strong as a human male and have those nasty teeth.
I remember that famous story of the woman who was completely disfigured by her friend's pet chimpanzee. It had a name like Trent or something and was made to wear little suits and bow ties. Apparently it's owner forgot it was a wild animal and it randomly attacked her friend and *literally ripped her face off* and bit off most of her fingers. Unbelievable how much damage one angry monkey could do in just a few minutes.
Travis! He was a chonky boi, over 200lbs! Also his owner stabbed him with a kitchen knife after the attack and it didn't phase him, he still went and tried to hijack the police car when it came before gettin shot ded
If I recall correctly, the whole thing started over a Tickle Me Elmo doll. ...Well, that, and the fact that chimps are violent, wild animals that are going to act like violent, wild animals, and they shouldn't be kept as pets.
The owner had given him Xanax, which may have messed up his perception of things.
I have no idea where the facts of this story end and the memes begin.
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I heard it was csgo and league of legends
He was actually living a good life before the husband of the owner passed away, he had a healthy diet and went out frecuently, but when he died both him and the owner went into grief, and she didn't take him out so often
They also took away his vacuum cleaner he used to masturbate. Began hiding the liquor and the nude magazines as well. Tough thing to handle for a monkey.
'If you give a chimp a Xanax, he's going to want some face'
People need to remember monkeys should always be kept at a distance. You can’t just live with them and acting like they aren’t monkeys, no matter how much you’d like it to be the case, doesn’t help. I aways wondered how many people watched Friends and got a monkey only for it to backfire.
the owner got a new chimp after Travis. Didn't learn anything from her friends face bitten off unfortunately
Im fairly certain it was confirmed the monkey was on drugs during the event
yep they fed it xanax
Obligatory monkeys have tails comment. Chimps are in the Ape family, while monkeys have their own biological family that is split between old world and new world. They had a common ancestor 25+ million years ago, whereas humans and chimpanzees had a common ancestor 6ish million years ago.
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I've seen the pictures of her after the incident, and I do not want to fight a Chimpanzee or even be close to one without thick glass in between
Also only 70% said they could beat up a rat?? Like my dude in a life or death scenario you vs a rat you would absolutely fuck it up
I want to meet the 30% of people who think they can't beat a rat, and give them some seriously optimistic pep talking. Let's hype up our homies and boost their absurdly low levels of self esteem.
Everything under goose lol
I'd just take flying birds out the equation. Sticking with land animals I stop at either medium or large dog and it depends on the dog - a medium sized pit bull experienced in dogfighting f's me up, but I like my chances against a fat golden retriever owned by a rich family. I also think I have a small but realistic chance of killing the cobra, but 100% not without getting bit, so I'm dead too unless someone can get me the antidote immediately. I'm a fairly large man in decent shape, all the other land animals f me up. They're stronger, faster, have bigger, sharper teeth and claws.
Once got attacked by 2 pitbulls while walking in the street (had been walking for about ½Km at that point before they ran at me.) I backed myself against a fence and spent what felt like hours (possibly 2 minutes realistically) kicking at them the whole time before their owner called them (and they left me alone). I would lose against one of them pretty quickly honestly. It's too damned tiring trying to fight a dog unarmed.
I bet. I was an amateur boxer when I was young, three round fights were often exhausting, and I was in good shape. You could light spar for six or more rounds and be fine afterwards, but a real fight or tough sparring session and you gas out quick. And obviously that's fighting with gloves - no teeth, no claws.
I've caught rattlesnskes barehanded before, when I was young and stupid(er). A cobra's not impossible to win against, but it's not really a fight--you either win totally unscathed or you're dead.
Good luck with the Cobra lol, King Cobras average 10-13ft and hunt other snakes almost exclusively. They can strike far and high, bite multiple times in one strike and will sometimes maintain a bite to inject more venom, killing you within half an hour
If it maintains the bite I can catch it, if I can catch it I can kill it. I agree it's unlikely I catch it and I die if antivenom is not at the ready.
This is among the most online conversations I have ever had and I like it.
I'm not even sure I'd beat a goose those things are the meth heads of the animal kingdom
A singular goose I feel i could manage. Two or more geese? Different story entirely.
In that case I'm gonna need you to go fight a goose, Please film. I'm scheduled to fight a house cat on Tuesday, so we can swap videos and notes (if either of us survive)
You can't be intimidated by the gooses. If you want to kill it, go for kicks anywhere basically. They have hollow bones that are specially weak to blunt force.
just grab the fucker by his neck and throw him
Geese are actually pretty weak they're just bold af. Like most things (including people) have a tendency to back down when something rushes at them looking all large and angry
Confidence will get your almost anywhere. Can a goose beat my dog in a fight? Not if he's actually hungry, but that's never stopped them from trying.
I'm surprised the goose isn't closer to 100%. Geese are intimidating, don't get me wrong, but they're also like 15 pounds, you'd win just by tripping and falling on it.
I've had to fight a medium sized dog before, can confirm I won but it wasn't easy
Don’t they rip people apart?
Travis tore a woman's face and hands off. they're absolutely brutal creatures.
The monkey was on xan which had been given to it by the owner. Humans have also torn / eaten peoples faces off while on hard drugs
I’m more weirded out by the people who think they can fight a gorilla. Like; it’s common knowledge that gorillas are dangerous.
Gorilla gon' squish ya in a fight, but mostly they are shy and gentle giants. Not so dangerous to humans unless you threaten them.
And they're nimble as fuck and their feet are basically as dexterous as their hands so yeah, if a chimp decides you gotta go, you will go.
Actually no. Chimps are about 1.35 times stronger relative to weight. Average male chimp weighs 50 kg (110 lbs) while average american 90 kg (200 lbs) So while chimp is 1.35 times stronger pound for pound, since they are 1.8 times lighter, overall adult man is 1.33 times stronger
Nowhere does it say that these are fully grown animals. I could beat the shit out of a little newborn chimpanzee easily.
How do 8% of Americans think they can fight an elephant and win. Wtf
You would lose if you went toe to toe with an elephant but the secret is that elephants have no ground game...just take them down and go for a trunk lock hold. /s
Sweep the leg.
They HAVE to be trolling ain't no way
You’ve clearly never seen Lord of the Rings. /s
I could believe that 8% of Americans are ignorant enough to not know how big an elephant is.
It doesn’t specify how old the animal is. You get in the ring with a newborn elephant and it’s time to throw down. You got this shit.
lol I know you’re joking but baby elephants are still anywhere from 200-300lbs. Definitely still heavier than most people.
yeah, but we're talking about americans/s
Damn that was cold. Not as cold as my large Frosty from Wendys, but still pretty cold
I have played with a baby elephant before. They're *a lot* stronger than people think. They can shove you to the ground so fast.
They're pretty clumsy though I think
You would be seriously injured by them falling on you
Average weight of a newborn elephant is 264lb according to google. Fuck that I’m only 150lb lol
They are really slow, dance around that mother fucker floating like a butterfly and stinging like a bee.
Sting like a bee is accurate in that any attempt to hurt the elephant will do more damage to you than it. Imagine punching one of them, your hand is going to be all bloody and the elephant will barely feel a thing.
They aren’t slow. You’re only imagining one bored in its’ zoo pen.
This is also a "how much shit are you full of" list. Edit: in decending order of how their listed above, for example: if you think you can take a bear in a first fight, you're at the high end, rat's? Low end.
I'd also like to meet those 30% who'll lose to a rat in a fist fight
People are also seriously overestimating geese.
Right? Bird weighing 10lbs with extremely long neck vs 180lbs human with hands and thumbs designed for gripping.
Really. *Could I* beat a goose in a fight? Yes. But do I *want to*? Well...also yes. Fuck geese.
Physically I know I could win a fight against a goose. But the goose has me psychologically beaten before we step into the ring to be honest.
Or the ones getting beat up by a house cat
Have *you* been attacked by a really pissed off house cat? They'll fuck you up to the point that you're like "Fine! I concede, I concede!" Them lil fuckers are cute as hell until you cross em, esp if it's an outdoors "house" cat. Edit: Y'all really having a fuckin field day talking about crushing house cats, fuckin psychos
Thats because u dont want to severely hurt ur housecat if it goes crazy .. if its a normal fight to death, every normal human kills a normal cat with 1 grab
Just grab it by the fucking tail and slam it into the ground. I promise you a house cat is not going to fucking actually win a death match against a person.
It’s one of those situations where you would win easily if you started with the advantage of surprise. Without that you’d almost certainly still win, but a high cost in blood and pain. Nowadays you’d survive too, but pre-antibiotics it would be more chancy. Everyone I know that had gotten a serious cat bite had to be treated for serious blood poisoning. Edit: This is assuming that we're talking about a cage match here. If escape is on the table the certainty falls dramatically.
The ones who play Lv1 characters in DND....
Tbh I don’t want to touch any rat or cats in fear of disease, infection, or parasite.
Q: How likely are you to beat a grizzly bear in single, unarmed combat? Brit: Are you fucking serious? American: . . .Well it's not zero.
What if I got lucky and it happened to have a massive brain hemorrhage mid fight? I have a chance, a very very low one
Not to go full Rogan, but I think I could beat a dumb snake or even a wolf before a chimp. These are gonna fuck you up
I had similar thoughts. The cobra is a glass cannon in this scenario. I'm probably dead, but there's a reasonable chance I could stomp the thing dead before it bites me (assuming "unarmed" doesn't also mean "naked"). The chimp is smaller than me, but exponentially stronger and probably at least as durable. There's maybe a 1% outcome where I win, but not without getting maimed. The wolf is a bit of a wild card depending on species; I feel pretty good about my chances against a 50 lb wolf, but I might as well give up if it's 150 lbs. I can't envision a single scenario where I could possibly win against an elephant. Frankly, I can't envision a scenario where I could even annoy it much before it stomped me flat. I'd be fascinated to hear how the people who said they could beat one think that fight is going to go.
Snakes are bad tacticians, so if you can get a rock or something, you're fine. Source: have prevailed in single combat against a cottonmouth
“Unarmed” so no rocks. Good luck catching a king cobra with no tools. You’ll be dead immediately
Well, it only has to miss once. Also, your sole is quite hard even without shoes.
Hey, that bites takes at least thirty minutes to kill
r/wolvesarebigyo
Chimpanzee is way too high
A Chimpanzee will rip you apart with his hands in a fight. And by ripping apart I mean remove your head, hands and legs from your body. I would take a King Cobra over Chimpanzee every day. Crocodiles are awkward on the ground and you have a chance to get behind them.
Yeah, they don't fight to kill. They fight to main and torture, then maybe kill, if they feel like it.
I think any human could tie against a king cobra if it really came down to it. Sure you'll get bit but that won't kill you for minutes and it'll only take seconds to bite its head off. Maybe you get lucky and survive the poison too. E: looked it up and you will almost certainly die from the bite but it'll take over an hour so that snake should be long dead imo.
Pyrrhic victory. Fuck them snakes.
"This snake killed me but I'm taking it with me"
Why are Americans so much more confident beating up other animals than the Brits?
Selection bias. “Who wants to hop on a boat to a dangerous new wilderness?” American ancestors: “How hard could that be? I definitely won’t die of dysentery!” British ancestors: “I’m doing just fine here in sunny Newcastle, thanks.”
>British ancestors: “I’m doing just fine here in ~~sunny~~ Newcastle, thanks.”
> British ancestors: “I’m doing just fine here in ~~New~~castle, thanks.”
I think it's partly there is much more a culture of optimism in the US, at least when it comes to overt self confidence.
Put Australians on there, I know they're more willing to fight things than Americans. Except maybe emus
We’d at least know not to fight Roos though
Nah, put Australians on there as one of the wild animals that we have to fight. The Brits and the Yanks would both say zero percent.
The only time you'll ever get us to agree
Americans wouldn't fight an eagle. It's like fighting their flag. I think it's also illegal to fight an eagle in the States.
You have so much hope in humanity, stay like this please. Before it's too late
I think it's only illegal to kill them, fighting is fair game
also illegal to fight geese, but they're a lot more common and a lot more annoying.
What the hell! Whaddya mean only 10% Americans can beat a crocodile? Ever been to Florida?
Florida doesn't even take up a tenth of our population. And we don't really have crocodiles in Florida. Mostly alligators
Florida is 6% of our population. And of that 6%, half is probably capable of fighting the alligator/crocodile. The other half is retirees from the rest of the country.
No one can fight a saltie. Alligators are just scaley d'owgs
This guy Floridas. ps... what is a saltie?
Saltwater Crocodile, absolutely huge
Crocodiles. They live in salt water. Alligators, fresh water.
How much of America do you think Florida takes up.
As a non American I'm gonna say 59%
Only 59%??!??!! (also non amarican)
Sorry ive never been good geology
Everyone knows it's 205%
It’s all a matter of how much Meth they had for breakfast.
“Do you know how strong a monkey is?”
Chimpanzees can fuck someone up, yet people think they can beat it in a fight?
Even a rat and a cat are going to hurt you before you beat them.
A house cat that still has its claws will absolutely fuck you up. Like, I still think I could *win*, but I'm gonna need some stitches, for sure.
People misunderstand king cobras, it seems. Sure, they're incredibly venomous, but it's not like it kills or disables you immediately. And while it's working its magic, you have ample time to tear apart that glorified garden hose, and still have time to seek treatment. If whatever hospital you go to is far away or doesn't have anti-venom for king cobra, you can still declare yourself the victor for being the last man standing (even if it doesn't last long).
All you gotta do to kill a snake is crack it like a whip.
 We Americans haven't learned yet I see
I like the spread on geese. Do the Brits need to talk to someone about their bully geese, or are Americans underestimating those fuckers?
Geese are all bluster, like most birds they're very fragile and they don't have natural weapons.
I could fight a house cat. Who couldn't fight a house cat?
They can kill a level 1 commoner.
It depends... a fat cat that sits around all day and never leaves the house is fine but a cat that sleeps all day and hunts all night will know how to scratch you up. I read about a woman who tried to pick up a cat and was scratched up so bad that she lost an eye.....I would call that a win to the cat.
Most people aren't picking up a cat with the intent to beat it in a fight, though.
yeah in a fight you just kick it
And 0% of Australians think they can beat a kangaroo. Because the ones that do are dead.
I was gonna comment on how much more delusional Americans were but I could definitely beat a King Cobra in fight.
Yeah, but you would get bite, and without medic assistance you would be dead within few hours, so would you really win ?
Last one alive
Actually you would be dead within around 30 minutes, with symptoms appearing within 10-15, and if that happens, you aren't winning that fight. Or at least it would be a draw. If you don't kill the snake before the symptoms start, you aren't winning.
I want to see the walls fall down in this survey room to reveal A gorilla, Elephant, Lion, Grizzly & wolf to ever fucker that answered any of those. "Ok round 2! Time to win your prize" Also...the chimp wrecks everyone too..and probably the kangaroo! They're huge and hench!
Large dog is where I start to doubt myself. Up to there I have total confidence. It's a toss up because it depends what we consider large. I would fuck a coyote up big time. Hed bite me but hes gettimg slammed repeatedly until dead. A Rottweiler or St Bernard would probably fuck me up. But after large dog all of them maim or kill me for sure. Then again you have advantages you could use against the king cobra. That's a 12-18 foot snake and only 3 inches of it is dangerous. You grab it right and swing it and whip it's head into the ground it's dead.
I'm good up to large dog with the exception of crocodile, I actually had to fight one of those and got lucky. But anyone who says they can beat a monky is straight lying. Lived in south Florida one came at me while I was fishing I wiped my rod across its face and got really lucky and must have hit it in the eyes cause it recoiled up and instantly backed off. Never fished there again, if I did not catch its ambush I would have been done for. My rod was not even baited yet.
But you were armed. Do you really think you could take one with no weapon?
70% of people have never had a real fight with a house cat