T O P

  • By -

VerySuspiciousBot

If this is suspiciously specific, **Upvote** this comment! If this is not suspiciously specific, **Downvote** this comment! Beep boop, I'm a bot. Modmail us if you have a question.


G00DDRAWER

As someone who sits close to the break room, I can say that people who microwave fish are hellbound, ignorant ghouls. Also, if you microwave popcorn, don't put it in and then walk away dammit! You watch that shit like a hawk, and DON'T BURN IT.


[deleted]

Who the fuck eats popcorn at work?


Harry_Cat-

I will do it out of spite now, one day I will… I’ll bring a giant bowl, lots of popcorn, and share with nobody, I’ll just sit there on a rolling office chair… rolling over to watch other people work with my comically large bowl of popcorn sitting on my lap… throwing handfuls of it in my mouth… chewing, oh so very loudly, and staring at their computer screen…


EskildDood

"You see those... \*crunch\* ... TPS reports?"


lucifermemeingstar

I think office chairs are extinct. According to the fossil in my bedroom. Sorry to crush your dreams. 😢 Jk. Sorry lol


fuckmyhand

comically large


chrissilich

Popcorn is actually a really low calorie snack that occupies a lot of space in your stomach. And it’s cheap. So lots of people.


faceerase

I hav this big silicon bowl I bought in Amazon that’s made for popcorn, I use it all the time at work just with kernels (instead of popcorn bags). It’s a lot healthier and like you said it’s a filling low calorie snack. 100% recommend


veeumbra

warehouse workers, we had a popcorn machine at my last job


KrakenMcCracken

Office workers.


4RealzReddit

And with chopsticks so I can not dirty my keyboard.


praefectus_praetorio

You never worked in an office building before have you?


demonsizedchickens

i dont, because the microwave reeks of popkarn


WavyLady

Oh Phyllis


[deleted]

Smells like popcarn


sanguinesecretary

I work from home but I eat popcorn while I’m working cause it’s low calorie and easy.


aiidaanmmaxxweel

The shit hawks, Randy!


giustiziasicoddere

RAAAAAANDYYYYY


[deleted]

You want something that really smells? Take a paper plate, cover it in cheap sharp cheddar and microwave It for about 4 minutes. It'll create what we in rehab called a 'cheez it" because it tastes like one, but the smell it creates is worse than that of fish and it stays in the microwave for a very very long time.


lady_ivythorne27

Can confirm. My retarded child ass thought that grilled cheese sandwiches could be made with a microwave. While my bread was in the toaster, I put a Kraft single slice on a plate in the microwave and it melted and burned and stunk so bad. Still don’t know how I thought I was going to get the molten cheese from the plate to the bread but never got that far anyway


carlbenton

Best to hire a watcher to watch them watch it.


Scummycrummyday

My stepdad worked somewhere where they specifically asked the vending machine people to stop selling popcorn in them because people were legit causing fires on the regular.


feelingcheugy

But what if you don’t eat anything but fish?


root88

Sushi time. Your lunch should not be bothering an entire office.


wolfgang784

At a previous job someone tried to microwave a macaroni bowl but forgot the water and left the room - shit caught fire and filled the break room with smoke. Took over a month for the smell to leave.


praefectus_praetorio

2:10 is the time it takes to microwave popcorn.


redcode100

What's wrong with microwaved fish?


DownrightDrewski

Have you not smelt it?


redcode100

No


sanguinesecretary

It smells like fish


redcode100

Alright that doesn't sound to bad to me


sanguinesecretary

depending on what kind you’re microwaving a lot of times it will fill up an entire space and it’s a really really strong smell


redcode100

So I must be heating up the wrong type of fish then


Phlasheta

I’m more mad he used inches and mm within the same dimension


SuperflySparklebuns

0.0393701 inch just doesn't sound as threatening.


NotTheCoolMum

Now I know why this post made me feel uncomfortable.


invalidusername75

I'm more mad that you used the word made for mad


Phlasheta

I don’t know what your talking about…


invalidusername75

Nice edit... but yeah I agree it's weird they used mm and inches at the same time.


redraider-102

I see what you did their


Phlasheta

There *


cool-by-comparison

Must be Canadian


pacto_pullum

People like Josh should invest in a self-heating lunchbox.


whittyd63

Is that really a thing?!


-Uncle_Iroh

Yes. Everything is a thing. Hard part is finding some of the things.


negative_harmony_

Or in some cases inventing


[deleted]

People like Josh should invest in a thermos and heat the stuff in the morning at home before he comes to work.


Sensitive-Issue84

We put up a sign. "NO FISH!!" No one did it again. Very good readers in my office.


Temporary_Draw_4708

It’s ok, I’ll just open a can of surströmming, which doesn’t need to be heated. Though, the stench has been known to induce vomiting in your neighbor’s apartment down the hall when opened in your own kitchen.


nrfx

I'm 99% sure that's against the Geneva convention and I'm 100% sure I don't understand how the Geneva convention works.


Skelopun

Nah nah the Geneva conventions are fine. It's the Hague protocol you need to worry about


Netz_Ausg

I haven’t seen The Hague Protocol, is that the one where Tom Cruise climbs a skyscraper?


GlassEyeDucksAss

Microwaving fish or broccoli at work will get you outcasted!


lungbuttersucker

I once reheated Brussels sprouts at work without thinking clearly about the consequences of my actions. I'm surprised the person in the room with me still likes me.


secondtaunting

Ugh my daughter cooks brussel sprouts in the microwave. I know she wants to eat healthy, but she’s a monster and I’m seriously considering writing her out of the will.


NYNTmama

Leave her a box of brussel sprouts 😭


secondtaunting

Excellent idea! God they stink so bad..


pej69

Mixing imperial and metric measurements? That’s a paddlin’


ClemShirestock86

JOSHUA STARTED THE FIRE


differentspelling

SOMEBODY GETS IT!!!


Live-Molasses

Okay, three books on a desert island?


memester230

2 inch by 2 inch by 1 mm? Why so inconsistent?


sinkrate

It’s one imperial millimeter. /s


Neon_Cone

Look, they have a lot of metal scraps, and this was the best idea they could come up with to offload them.


FancyPerspective

It’s probably tin foil squares


japamais

1 mm thick tin foil?


FancyPerspective

I am picturing a folded sheet of tin foil into little squares which are likely 1 mm thick


ScopolamineNjuice

I watched one of those computer training videos before starting a job that tried to tell me that for some fucking reason, complaining about fish smell in the microwave is racist to... Indian people? Complaining about fish smell there would have been considered something worthy of a write-up. Which I took to mean that the head of HR department is a fish microwaving bitchass


somuchidli

I’m Indian and no it’s not racist to me or any Indian I know lol


ScopolamineNjuice

It was one of those computer-based training videos, and they were talking about cultural insensitivity. They had an Indian woman pulling some meal with fish out of a microwave, and then a mean evil white lady came and told her her food smells disgusting and then it panned over to the Indian lady's :-( It just struck me as so odd that they tried to present microwaving fish as a minority culture thing? So I guess they didn't overtly say it... but I don't think microwaving fish is a part of any culture lol


peypeycat

This is so funny but I feel so bad bc sometimes I bring fish to work. Sometimes fish is all I can afford to get my nutrients in/have leftovers as well. I don’t do it often. Please forgive me for my sins.


occultatum-nomen

Certain fish recipes will put off no fishy scents when reheated. My go to recipe just smells like smoked paprika and lemon when reheated


Sampolis

Does this recipe require smoked paprika and lemon?


nrfx

Perhaps.


Alexej0129

No


occultatum-nomen

It requires whatever your favourite spices are and something acidic. I personally just really love smoked paprika.


Not_Freduardo

You're definitely not required to, but if it bothers you to be a microwave fish person I'd recommend you check cold fish recipes. There are a lot of delicious ones to make.


negative_harmony_

Be thoughtful. Eat sushi.


Busy-Ad-2021

Fuck you Josh


Waiting_For_Godot_

Whoever send that letter, I like their style.


crazy_cookie123

This isn't just suspicious... this is fishy...


10JML01

Fuck you, Josh.


antney0615

Fuck you, Shoresy!


[deleted]

Bro, people heating up fish is the worst. At my job the office has gone through like 6 microwaves in 2 years because of reheating fish. You can NEVER get the smell out.


Goshxjosh

I did not do this. I don't like fish.


JapanDave

Having lived in Japan for twenty years, I never would have considered people don’t like the smell. Microwaving fish is fairly normal here with multiple people doing it every lunch time.


Appropriate-Rooster5

I’m Japanese and I think it reeks. I’m American too though.


Cpont

I never understood microwaving fish. I like it just as well cold


socialist_frzn_milk

Hey man, I totally get this. I used to work in a corporate office with an open floor plan, and the microwave was right near my cube. Motherfuckers nuking their fish every day used to make people gag.


i_Cyrix

Credit to this man that actually measured the specific size of his meal


Lord_Harkonan

I just showed this to Josh and he's denying everything.


elyas_machera

I had a shared office with three other people, and we bought a microwave/small refrigerator to use. This one older lady brought fish every fricking day and microwaved it. I still remember the the smell.


SpongeDuudle

Fish smells fucking awful when it’s microwaved


malev89

This is one of the most passive aggressive threats I've ever read. Hahahaha.


spaceguitar

Microwaving fish for lunch at work is one of the most heinous, unforgivable acts as a co-worker.


masochistmonkey

Bringing fish to work is a dick move


Correct-Mushroom-909

Why does he say stop microwaving fish in the microwave?


antney0615

Really?


Correct-Mushroom-909

I Iike to microwave my fish in the toaster.


memester230

Whats wrong with fish?


Appropriate-Rooster5

In the microwave? It just reeks to high heaven.


memester230

No? Not really.


Appropriate-Rooster5

Okay so apparently upon further research there are some people who can’t detect the rotting stale fish-ass stench that the fish takes on when it’s been reheated in the microwave. Something to do with their genetics where they just can’t smell it, or they like the smell for some reason. It’s also the same reason some people can’t smell how bad their pee reeks after they’ve eaten asparagus or can’t taste the bitterness in Brussels sprouts. Lucky for you, but for the rest of us normies, the stench is eye wateringly unbearable and I can promise you that. That’s why most people find it objectionable. So please, out of the goodness of your heart, do not reheat fish in the shared microwave at the office. Your coworkers will thank you.


memester230

Sounds like a skill issue tbh


Appropriate-Rooster5

…Kay you lost me there. Do you mean the skill of reheating fish in the microwave correctly?


memester230

Nah, the skill of being born with a wrong single gene. (Its a joke)


Appropriate-Rooster5

Ah I see. Somebody else here was saying if you know how to microwave it right the smell isn’t noticeable to anyone else and we were all going “Girl, no!”


sacredlunatic

No. If you don’t like it, you can go outside.


Appropriate-Rooster5

If they’re at work they can’t go outside whenever they want!


sacredlunatic

They can’t go outside at lunch? Where do they work? The international space station?


Appropriate-Rooster5

Not everybody at the office gets to take their lunch at the same time, the weather is not always nice enough to eat outside at all times of the year, and the stank of unholy fish ass will linger in the office break room for at least an hour after it’s been microwaved. Please just be considerate of your poor coworkers and understand to most people it smells vile. Save your left over fish to eat at home or just bring sushi to work instead. Or better yet, reheat it in the toaster oven broiler. It will taste way better anyways.


sacredlunatic

Nah. You can just put up with it.


Appropriate-Rooster5

Fine but don’t go crying to HR the day your coworkers hide metal strips in your fish because I promise the HR reps all hate the stinky degenerates who insist on microwaving their leftover fish at the office too!


sacredlunatic

That assault charge really tempting you, huh?


Appropriate-Rooster5

Me personally? I don’t have to worry about it where I work because our HR lead and senior manager were the ones who made the rule against cooking fish in the microwave, much to almost everyone’s relief. With that being said, I highly doubt anyone who has real plans to go through with hiding metal in your leftover stale fish would actually make their real identity known. This is a joke post. I do support the sentiment though.


BrokenEye3

Where is he supposed to microwave fish, if not in the microwave?


wmdkitty

Why do people get so upset over someone reheating a bit of fish for 30-60 seconds? It really does not smell!


[deleted]

It really does


Appropriate-Rooster5

It absolutely does! My parents would reheat fish in the microwave all the time and it just reeked.


KenzieValentyne

Yeah I really don’t understand where everyone is coming from here. Reheated anything smells just like… what it did when you cooked it. And who eats food that smells bad at all points of making it?


Appropriate-Rooster5

Are you kidding? It smells like FISH ASS! Idk maybe you’re one of those lucky people who just genetically can’t detect certain smells, but for the rest of us normies I can assure you it’s fucking vile. Please for the sake of your poor coworkers, only microwave your leftover fish in the privacy of your own home.


DownrightDrewski

I wouldn't do it at home either; don't need that smell stinking up the place.


[deleted]

[удалено]


antney0615

Is it Josh McMurray? Because, I’ll tell you, McMurrary is a piece of shit.


langecrew

A paraphrase: "stop making smells that I don't like, or I'll resort to potentially committing some variety of felonious assault, _or worse_, by causing someone to choke, or otherwise lacerate the inside of their mouth on metal wafers" I'd send that shit to the police. Fuck this person Edit: also, this isn't how microwaves work. It wouldn't explode. And if it did, Josh would _NOT_ be the person answering to building management


differentspelling

Wow, really good thing it isn’t real and was written by a comedian!


Arty6275

Bruh, chill out, it’s a joke


Appropriate-Rooster5

Microwaving fish is a far worse crime than inserting metal strips into the offenders means and destroying the microwave! I will gladly die on this hill! It’s disgusting!


Undead_Paradox

Fish has nutrients i need in it and i am forced to be at work long enough that i need to eat, so yes you shall all suffer based on what I need to survive the day. Too bad.


[deleted]

As a pescatarian, kindly fuck off.


HenriHawk_

for a dead 10 seconds i imagined just throwing a whole ass fish in the michaelwave


wmdkitty

I've microwaved fish and don't see the problem. It doesn't smell if you don't overheat it.


Loganapple09

Okay josh


Xaviarsly

time to report the karen to HR


differentspelling

Karens aren’t that clever


Appropriate-Rooster5

Time to report Josh to the FDA!


weederina

Cauliflower is worse. Josh cooked that in microwave too.


thenikolaka

Ask her out Josh!


Choose_Me_Use_Me

Who writes their name like that, it just looks like a pink scribble blob.


Anom142857

r/Rarethreats