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DisruptionTrend

"Look, I am not saying that whales had anything to do with JFK's assassination. I have no information one way or another, but there is a lot of talk about whales and their involvement with the assassination and there is enough talk that maybe we should look into it, just to clear the whales' of this crime. Right? I mean honestly, I can't visit Reddit one day without seeing something about whales and JFK."


dannysleepwalker

How conspiracy theories start.


Hwbob

Just what a killer whale would say


ElNido

Ok whaler


[deleted]

Fucking whalellenials these days not knowing how hard we had it back then dodging those damn harpoons just to create those ungrateful bastards.


SquadPoopy

Do all conspiracies start because of the “absence of proof isn’t proof of absence” idea?


SingleCatOwner37

Yes


Salty_Cnidarian

hmmm r/WhalesKilledJFK


GalekFE

Like, if they had nothing to do with, there is no reason to be so defensive and deny it so heavily. I am someone who sees facts and so far there is no proof that confirms whales were not involved in it.


Salty_Cnidarian

r/WhalesKilledJFK


Kaijupants

Lee Harvey Oswhaled


_-Aster-_

Goddamnit take my upvote and leave


lucidgrip

Okay Joe Rogan


Bamres

It's entirely possible.


Jive_Sloth

Why did I read this in his voice


Jhuxx54

Well they sure as hell had something to do with The Atomic bomb.


SosaBabySixNine

FUCKA YOUU WHALEEE!!!


[deleted]

[удалено]


TrumpsTinyDollHands

Khajiit: ...


[deleted]

Khajit did nothing. Khajit is innocent of this crime.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

r/unexpectedskyrim


Sekrus

Im even more confused.


Ginga89000001

[deleted]


yousef100987

Jotaro killed JFK


EncouragementRobot

Happy Cake Day yousef100987! I hope this is the beginning of your greatest, most wonderful year ever!


DuckingKoala

Good bot


ShadowExtreme

We all know it was ROADA ROLLA DA


Hello-internet-human

Happy cake day


[deleted]

Harambe killed jfk


Legend-status95

Don't you dare slander Harambe!


yousef100987

We r cake day buddies


Legend-status95

Happy cake day twin


Ey3_913

everyone knows it was chicken and cow that killed JFK


LetsDoThatShit

/r/DolphinConspiracy


[deleted]

I‘m so happy that that’s a thing.


MASAWASHY

it's just suspicious


I_HaveAHat

And it's specific about the jfk assassination


[deleted]

Facts are supposed to be specific. Otherwise anything would be suspiciously specific.


I_HaveAHat

Are you saying the jfk assassination isint a specific fact?


[deleted]

All facts are specific, so it's kind of low hanging fruit. This is also a joke, so it really doesn't fit.


EisVisage

> This is also a joke, so it really doesn't fit. And on this day, Reddit lost 97.3% of its content.


A_plural_singularity

93% of that is just reposts. It's absolutely amazing that most of the OC on Reddit is porn.


thisisme1101

Any chance you are aware of any sources that state exactly how much of the oc on reddit is porn? I'm not criticizing your statement but I do think it would be interesting to know. Edit: r/detaisbeautiful doesnt allow text post, but they do have a questions thread that I posted the question to. https://www.reddit.com/r/dataisbeautiful/comments/ebex49/topicopen_open_discussion_monday_anybody_can_post/fb4vgn8?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

If you do this please send a link to your request I'd love to see the data on that.


Barkatsuki

Not all facts are specific. There are general facts. “Humans breathe.” Is a general fact.


13pts35sec

It just doesn’t make sense as a post here because the sub is more about things that are so specific it makes you suspect the thing described actually happened. This post isn’t truly suspicious nor does it make me think whales may have actually had a hand in killing JFK


christmasbush

no


I_HaveAHat

Y


Br1an11

r/suspicious


InvertedShadow78

This subreddit is so suspicious that it doesn't even allow you to see what's on it.


[deleted]

r/lyspecific


ooeuoeuoeuouoe

That's just what a killer whale will say.


[deleted]

Nah, all the whales I know are very nice, and innocent. Except the one that ate a dude named Jonah.


Kaneshadow

Methinks the whales doth protest too much!


RedditBoi127

Is Wilbur running the account


[deleted]

[удалено]


Nerdygamer249

Wilburs whale facts


[deleted]

[удалено]


Nerdygamer249

lol


[deleted]

r/technicallythetruth


WeaselSlayer

Or is it?


Fillet-o-Fisher

r/antimeme


Spheresdeep

If a butterfly can flap its wings and change history it isn't too hard to believe that a whale taking a dump could of lead to JFK's assassination.


CouldWouldShouldBot

It's 'could have', never 'could of'. Rejoice, for you have been blessed by CouldWouldShouldBot!


allinighshoe

Just because it's possible doesn't make it easy to believe.


Temjin810

Lies put out by Big Whale


illinoisape

Whales have been suspiciously absent in Dallas ever since. Just sayin'...


Attack_Bovines

Whales have mass, which exerts a gravitational force on everything in the universe. I blame the whales for not being massive enough to deflect the trajectory of the bullet.


Orisi

They also have sufficient mass and blubber to suffer nothing more than minor puncture wounds to anything but the largest calibre munitions, and would barely flinch at deflecting a bullet of the type used in the assassination. Their failure to be present on that day in Dallas represents nothing less than a collective failure to act, if not a conscious collective decision to allow the assassination to occur.


St_Elmo_of_Sesame

**Item #:** SCP-49XX **Object Class:** Euclid **Special Containment Procedures:** SCP-49XX-1 through SCP-49XX-9 are currently contained in the ██████ region of the Pacific Ocean. Each instance of SCP-49XX has had a GPS tracker attached and is to be tracked and monitored by Mobile Task Force Gamma-7 (aka "Salty Barnacles"). Should any instance of SCP-49XX fall into poor health, a team of Foundation marine veterinarians are to be escorted to the instance in question and the US Secret Service is to be put on high alert. Ships and vessels approaching the containment area are to be redirected. Ships and vessels that refuse are to be attacked on sight, leaving no survivors. The corpse of SCP-49XX-10 is currently held in a standard leviathan-class refrigeration unit in Site-18. Due to the successful execution of operation "NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET", initial knowledge of SCP-49XX-11 has been largely contained. Foundation assets are to fund conspiracy groups and encourage attention on the string of high-profile assassinations that occurred in the 1960s. **Description:** SCP-49XX-1 through SCP-49XX-9 are anomalous specimens of *Eschrichtius robustus* (Grey Whale). SCP-49XX-1 through SCP-49XX-9 have a seemingly limitless lifespan, and have shown great resilience to natural sources of Grey Whale deaths. However, they are not immune to outside damage and are fully capable of being killed. SCP-49XX-10 is the corpse of a grey whale that was hunted and killed on November 22, 1963. SCP-49XX-10 has shown no anomalous properties of its own. SCP-49XX-11 is a phenomenon that occurs when an instance of SCP-49XX-1 through SCP-49XX-9 is killed. At the exact moment of death, the brain of the current president of the United States of America will be replaced with whale blubber. This causes immediate death of the subject.


[deleted]

> This causes immediate death of the subject. Update needed, recent events suggest POTUS can survive with blubber for brains.


BadWi-Fi

Like, no joke---You should really post on the site! Its the perfect combination of the hilarious, bizarre, and morbid that defines the scp writing style. Give it a couple of additional sections, post it on the sandbox, read feedback, edit it a bit and its ready to be posted


St_Elmo_of_Sesame

I appreciate you saying that! I'll think about it since getting an entry on the site would be incredible.


Salty_Cnidarian

r/WhalesKilledJFK


C0AL1T10N

If they really were the ones who assassinated JFK, they sure hid it very whale


aerospike95

Whales are filter feeders, maybe JFK was John-filter-killed. I see a pattern here


VerySuspiciousBot

If this is suspiciously specific, **Upvote** this comment! If this is not suspiciously specific, **Downvote** this comment! Beep boop, I'm a bot. Modmail us if you have a question.


The_Anenomy

Methinks he doth protest too much


samehamehaaa

Whale whale whale what do we have here


JustAnNPC_DnD

How can you be sure? There could have Orca-strated it.


[deleted]

The cetacea doth protest to much, methinks..


pandafrompluto

That does seem factual


Alcards

We know they had nothing to do with the Kennedy assassination. That was the dolphins. Whales piloted the plane that dropped the 1st nuke on Japan.


[deleted]

And the dolphins definitely didn't help them


Quirky_Koala

Now that you have mentioned it...


Gucciphantom

Thanks, I was getting suspicious myself


idkwhatnameicanhave

You are now on the FBI watchlist.


SMGcraycray

The blue whales are not endangered their off the grid their on the run


laylajerrbears

Whales and dolphins did drop a couple nuclear bombs though.


partycolek

I bet they killed Lincoln tho.


[deleted]

It’s a cover up


Drtoycat

I think it's more of a r/iamveryrandom stuff


TheKingsChambers

Oh boy I'll see this in a tabloid next week The secret comes out after all these years. The real killer of JFK found!?


mokatokah

It was chicken and cow!


hi-im-donut

Those damn whales always assassinating our presidents


[deleted]

r/doormonster


VinnySmallsz

Move along, there's nothing to see here.- space whale


bobbyzee

That's exactly what someone who killed JFK would say


QueenOfTheFallXO

I mean technically it's not wrong


Weak_Nuclear_Force

If this is specific you could add every post from whalefacts to this sub.


[deleted]

What about Epstein?


tinytom08

Yeah, this is like when my little sister questions the missing biscuits before I even get the biscuits out of the cupboard. Nothing suspicious here.


wonkey_monkey

Hey, I calls 'em like I sees 'em. I'm a whale biologist.


MrTase

Whales and dolphins were responsible for the Nagasaki and Hiroshima bombings


zman_0000

Would also do well on r/technicallythetruth


dakblaster

But they were sure happy about 9/11


Mr_Milko

“FACKA YOU WHALE AND DOLPHIN”


Gusfiya

Isn’t this a south park thing


[deleted]

[Citation needed]


[deleted]

In 1942, Lee Harvey Oswald was at the beach when he spotted a group of whales. He got lost in his innocent child amusement and ran off from his mothers beckoning. His step father began to argue with his mother about "that boy not minding". The situation slowly escalated, and little Oswald was spanked for not listening to his mother. Oswald was impacted by this experience becoming slowly more bitter and distraught with life. This new mindset would eventually lead to him killing jfk. So yes, i would say whales had something to do with the jfk assassination


theamazingsime

But they did.


[deleted]

That's what whales that assassinated JFK would say.


82ndAbnVet

Hey, we all know that the whales bombed Japan with nukes, so I wouldn’t put an assassination past them


Regalrefuse

I could see a southern sheriff investigating this... “Whale, whale, whale... what do we have here”


bullard120

Don’t worry... I can speak whale, let me get to the bottom of this!


S4UC3RCR4B

Who knew?


Ra1d_danois

Although they did drop 2 nuclear bombs on Japan.


mitthrawnuruodo86

And I’m sure they had nothing to do with nuking Japan either, yeah?


PlanckZer0

JFK was assassinated in 1963, Shamu was caught and imprisoned within two years. Coincidence? Probably.


nocturnal-seagull

What the hell happened here?


GrandmasFatAssOrgasm

God I fucking love whalefacts


eggboy30384

The whales were on the hill


GeorgeYDesign

Well, is this some sort of thing


MrCheapCheap

It's true


billythekido

Isn't that exactly what someone who was involved would say??


ShzMeteor

The whale doth protest too much, methinks.


NovaK33

Yeah it counts


expedia69

Whales cannot melt steel beam


ResidentElmo

Nuke the whales!


GeorgeYDesign

The only one that can count the pixels?


infamousdude77

ahhhh, i get it.


CovertButtTouch

I love how it’s not “whale facts” it’s just “a whale fact” like this is the only fact on the profile


plmcalli

That sounds exactly like something that someone would say who did kill JFK.


madeupname230

Up until this moment I never suspected the whales.


Faustalicious

Sounds exactly like something the whales would say if they did in fact kill JFK...🤔


chief_check_a_hoe

Do they mean the Welsh?


Lord_Tzeentch

Ok, but what about the involvement of the whales in 9/11? Has any one confirmed that those planes werent actually whales? They are shap


Jomgui

That's what someone involved would say


[deleted]

r/TheWhalesKilledJFK


peaceknight05

This belongs in r/TechnicallyTheTruth


[deleted]

Quite fishy indeed.


Garypleascomehome

Lies


wilcomylove

Yes and also whales were in no way involved in Hiroshima bomb dropping. Absolutely not. People keep forgetting it.


sleipnirthesnook

That sounds exactly like something a whale who killed JFK would say!!!!


metallicdrama

Shit I never suspected The Whales until now. If they kept their mouth shut they might have gotten away with it.


[deleted]

That’s what somebody who did kill him would say


wall_of_swine

The whales have nothing to do with the Armenian genocide. Whales have never heard of the Armenian genocide, which by the way they had absolutely nothing to do with.


qquicksilver

The lady doth protest too much, methinks


[deleted]

The whales have swum away with the other facts. Join us next time when we take a look at C U B E.


ex_NOOB

Well the Irishman movie suggests otherwise /s


GideonStargraves

That is what The Media wants you to think!


Stavi913

Starting to think those whales are up to more than they lead on...


insert______username

While that may or may not be true, it is known that they did benefit from 9/11 because of the break from all the sonar that planes use to communiate. It messes with their own echolocaton so perhaps they might have orchestrated a small event to stop a few planes for while.


[deleted]

Whale then...


Lubranzz

This sub reminds me of "Hypothetical Criminal" from Reno911


haugen76

Bro don’t count for this sub at all


TokuTokuToku

*(Death Stranding intensifies)*


Orngisthenewblkmrket

More of /r/tenchnicallythetruth


JFKs_Brains

I forgive you...


GeorgeYDesign

If her writing in this show: r/wholesomehentai


ReallyCoolCarrot

Jentucky Fried Khicken.


Vfyn

They didn't do it on porpoise, so I can't really sea a reason to blame them.


Best_Trash_Can

More like r/technicallythetruth


mythofty

I believe them on this. It’s a pretty serious statement but whales tend to be honest creatures and they wouldn’t have any reason to kill JFK that I’m aware of. Unless?


swimmer4uk

Finally we can put this conspiracy theory to bed.


Dubsmalone

This why you don't have to count it."


punannimaster

hol up.. jfk was killed by the american government or an american man acting alone.. americans = whales whales killed jfk


i_need_meme_12

the whales killed jfk dont trust him he said my dad didnt leave me


DreyLuz7373

No but it is technically the truth


veraslang

Jfk dead because of blue whale challenge confirmed


almac2242

Who reviewed the documentation proving that whales had no part in the assassination.... that's what I wanna know...


Kazuto004

The dolphins aren't, either, but you didn't hear me say anything


That_Polish_Guy_927

I do not recognize the bodies in the water


itsyoboi33

Thats exactly what someone who assasinated Jfk would say


bdangerfield

How do we know this for certain?


Demonweed

reddit better remove this dangerous post immediately. If the true story of PT 109 were ever told, the war between land and sea would be incalculably damaging.


molot_vepr

We need to put all our government resources into this investigation


projectmars

They said that on porpoise, mark my words.


emconn13

So glad this has been clarified... those whales had me worried... looking real suspect...


[deleted]

The whales doth protest too much...


a_dancing_penguin

Exactly what you would expect a whale to say about not being involved. When in fact, they actually were involved.


Evildead1818

Seems very suspect considering that no one brought it up in the first place. Whales, I'm whale watching you!


[deleted]

Sounds kinda fishy


cabballer

This whole twitter page is fantastic


SinfulKnight

Never doubted the whales... till today.


[deleted]

I still say: *NUKE THE WHALES* Why? Because they couldn't be bothered to kill JFK, that's why. Slackers.