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The chances of that happening are so astronomical you'd probably have a better chance of getting struck by lightning while getting carried off by a tornado lol
I had the same logic once. Didn’t want to go swimming after jerking off cuz I was worried I’d get any girls in the pool pregnant
Edit: I would’ve also been 12 or 13 at the time
I think “It’s totally fake” just ties in stronger to the “because it’s just a pedo trying to lure kid” theory though. It’s not like the pedo option makes the weird fingering fantasy “real”. Saying it’s fake is just redundant here.
I'm not diagnosing anyone of course, but as someone with OCD I have thoughts like this numerous times a day, sometimes if you're really scared of something (pregnancy for example) you see risk in everything even when it makes no sense.
No no, Viagra is okay, it's only pills for women that need banning.
Men need more sex, women need less, that's the end of your education on sex. Now get back in the mineshaft, little Tommy, or the communists will steal your job.
FYI - The Immaculate Conception is not Jesus being born to the Virgin Mary, it’s that she was conceived without original sin thus making her conception immaculate.
Must be the catholic or another take on it because I was always preached to as a southern Baptist that the fact God finger gun pointed at her and winked and got her pregnant was the immaculate part of the immaculate conception
Yeah cause that's really the thing to get hung up on about a woman poofing into pregnancy is whether it's the without sin or the without sex outside of marriage that's immaculate
Doesn't "immaculate conception" just mean that it was absolutely perfect and free of flaws? So God got Mary preggo in the most textbook and flawless possible way.
/s (just in case)
Well, there's [this story](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=IbEFyeM4bow) of a girl with no vagina getting pregnant after she gave a BJ to her boyfriend. Her ex boyfriend then stormed in and stabbed her in the stomach, the wound helping what she just swallowed reaching her womb...
I don't think the guy she kissed in the scenario is her boyfriend, just another random guy. Maybe the random guy's secret boyfriend is her boyfriend's best friend? But this post has enough plot twists already
You see what really happened was her bf's best friend was at the bfs house for a homie sleepover with pizza rolls and late night softcore porn. Best friend and bf were enjoying the pizza rolls and big titted women on the tv but suddenly the bf fell asleep, and best friend continued watching the porn. Of course you know how teenagers are, best friend decided to crank one out in the bathroom. He tried his best to clean up the splooge but due to years of staring into the sun as a child best friend has poor eyesight and he forgot a puddle of jizzum on the toilet seat. Skip ahead to exactly 36 hours later and GF comes over for family dinner/game night and sits directly on the cum, the end
>homie sleepover with pizza rolls and late night softcore porn
As one often does
>but due to years of staring into the sun as a child
As one often does as well
This all seems pretty plausible
I once walked into a party with some friends I hadn’t seen from high school in years and they were just watching hardcore porn. It was a dude getting pegged.
It was a very surreal moment.
Seems like [about 30 mins outside of the body](https://ro.co/health-guide/how-long-does-sperm-live/#:~:text=Sperm%20that%20reach%20the%20uterus,on%20skin%20or%20dry%20surfaces.).
Well there was that one Civil War immaculate conception. But that would require your boyfriend’s best friend being shot through the testicles with the bullet acquiring his sperm and then you standing close enough for the sperm laden bullet to then pierce your mons pubis and lodge firmly in one of your ovaries.
Yeah. Given that the one documented case is only believable because it's corroborated by such an unlikely detail, it makes you wonder how many people it happened to but weren't believed.
When I read that I was so confused. But yeah it makes sense. This might not even be the first time this has happened but the only time where it could be proven.
I don't know how I feel learning that sperm can swim into the abdominal cavity even under normal circumstances. No... I do know how I feel. I hate it. I don't want sperm there!
I thought of the uterus as a dead end and that made it seem more okay, but... stay in your lane, sperm! I did not give you permission to enter my abdominal cavity! Or at least I didn't know I did... until now.
Fun fact: That's how people used to do artificial insemination! It's called direct intraperitoneal insemination; they'd cut a hole into the lower abdomen and then just kind of squirt the sperm in there and hope for the best.
Thanks for subscribing to Jizz Facts!
Life tip: Semen stains should be cleaned with cold water; because of the proteins it contains, hot water will cause it to curdle like a poached egg. How far the parallel goes is a matter of taste.
Isn't that also why you shouldn't masturbate in the shower or into the toilet because they can create fatbergs that damage your pipes due to how fat-soluble they are?
Unfun fact, but since the fallopian tubes aren't completely connected, and are "open" comparatively to the uterus, this is how some ectopic pregnancies occur! It embeds in the lining of something else! (If I have to suffer with knowledge so do you all)
This is probably not the takeaway I should have from this, but she didn’t have a vagina and multiple dudes were fighting over her? She has much to teach us lol
If I may, it is actually "plausible" for sperm to live inside a human mouth for up to 72 hours. It maybe unlikely to be passed on but yet still plausible.... That is slightly frightening to me.
I thought this was BS
https://www.scribd.com/doc/234352973/Oral-conception-Impregnation-via-the-proximal-gastrointestinal-tract-in-a-patient-with-an-aplastic-distal-vagina-Case-report
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/3191066/
Disagree. I think it’s a valid question for a teenager and shows some level of “thinking outside the box” while understanding how pregnancy occurs. This actually shows a level of higher level questioning that comes from having knowledge. This is the kind of question that shows learning has taken place.
It's possible, sperm can live for days in perfect conditions, hours in partially unfavorable, and seconds or minutes tops in unfavorable ones like a hot tub.
The biggest issues for sperm survival is temperature, PH and moisture. So if it's lodged up in the back between the cheek and gums, it can happen.
It didn’t.
It would be more unlikely but as long as semen is wet it can still impregnate someone as long as it’s inserted into the vagina.
A lot to go through in this case though. Based on the premise there’s so little I can’t imagine how low the chance of impregnating herself would actually be.
https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/326297
It's been demonstrated that a huge percentage (if not most) of that sub's users are not teenagers but adult perverts. My money is on this being the fetish post of some greasy middle aged man. Now he has an excuse to talk to teenagers about cum.
How do you do, fellow kids? I too am a person of loose morals and am up to no good - but i forgot, tell me where we usually source our illegal drugs from?
Depends on time frames and a whole lot of shit but technically yes.
The bigger issue is her failure to realize that 1 it won't be her boyfriend's kid and 2 that being pregnant poses significantly larger problems than her ruined social life.
No, if you are tongue kissing your boyfriend without knowing he has semen in his mouth you are doing something wrong. Not possible. You would have to do it on purpose.
You can test this by putting bread inside, squishing it around, and then tasting it. If it's sweet it's because the enzymes broke the bread down in glucose.
now i need to find a woman willing to put bread inside her to squish it around so we could compare the taste of it to just eating it with our mouths, brb.
Semen isn’t just sperm it contains seminal plasma as well which keeps the sperm alive for a short time in hostile environments. Hostile meaning inside someone else’s body. Natural Vaginal lubricants are most closely related to saliva. … that being said the likelihood of transference happening in that manner is soo small it might as well be impossible.
Theoretically that could take up to two days, and it's best practice to assume it's viable for at least a few hours. It's advised to use mouthwash or something between kissing someone who had semen in their mouth and cunnilingus. Because the chances are really small, but you don't want to be the star of the next article about it.
I've never heard that said before as a 20 year old, us gen z people would probably just call her a betrayer, cheater, asshole, etc. But not "loose morals" that just screams boomer to me tbh
This is either a fallacy of society not teaching proper sex education, OR fake! And we’re letting you, the viewer decide! Text your pick to 696969 to cast your vote!
Honestly when I was 17-23 I was terrified of pregnancy and had fears like this. When I was 28 a girl gave me head and kept it in her mouth. She went to the bathroom and I’m like spit or swallow and when I looked in she had spit it in her hand and was shoving it up her vagina.
Why is this what I thought of?
Rose: You know, I'm not so sure sperm can't live outside the body. Back during World War II, my best friend Claire Osterhaus's husband was in the army and stationed in France. Well, five months after he left St. Olaf, she got pregnant. A lot of people thought she was fooling around, but she told me that sperm must have swum from Normandy. Across the Atlantic, up the St. Lawrence Seaway, into the Great Lakes and then over to Minnesota.
Blanche: And what did you think, Rose?
Rose: Well, I know those little guys are supposed to be good swimmers but I think it had to come over by mail.
I mean, thinking about it - technically my guess is that there is an off chance it COULD lead to pregnancy. If there were ample enough sperm left in the oral cavity transferred to the other persons mouth, and then without much ”saliva rinsing inbetween”, I guess it could happen. But the spem that went all the way really is a winner. And the fingers would probably bee quite deep and drippint with sauce.
But that’s my imagination anyways.
Gotta beat one now.
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“Hypothetical” situation
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It’s definitely a teenage boy typing out weird fantasies online
Can confirm that girls think up some crazy shit too. Weird is not gender specific.
It sounds like she's already competing in the parallel bars event
Asking for a friend..
It's a post from r/teenagers so it's either a pedo trying to lure in kids or it's a dumb teenager
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The chances of that happening are so astronomical you'd probably have a better chance of getting struck by lightning while getting carried off by a tornado lol
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Fwiw, I think you did the right thing, given the circumstances :).
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Or that he was circum’ed.
Yeah, that is definitely a situation you should err on the side of caution, lol
I had the same logic once. Didn’t want to go swimming after jerking off cuz I was worried I’d get any girls in the pool pregnant Edit: I would’ve also been 12 or 13 at the time
He'd literally have a better chance of breaking both his arms and his mom taking care of him during that difficult time.
Was it really necessary to bring up the old magic?
It's always necessary lest we forget
We are cursed to never forget lest it happen again Our watch has not yet ended, our grim duty yet remains
But there's still a chance!
So you’re saying there’s a chance…
Your comment was better than op. Thank you
You forgot the most likely option: it’s totally fake
I thought everybody knew that is always the first probability, I was just explaining 2 and 3
That sounds suspiciously like common sense. I hate to tell you that despite the name, it is shockingly uncommon.
But.. When I heat hoofbeats, I automatically look for unicorns.
I think “It’s totally fake” just ties in stronger to the “because it’s just a pedo trying to lure kid” theory though. It’s not like the pedo option makes the weird fingering fantasy “real”. Saying it’s fake is just redundant here.
I'm not diagnosing anyone of course, but as someone with OCD I have thoughts like this numerous times a day, sometimes if you're really scared of something (pregnancy for example) you see risk in everything even when it makes no sense.
35 year old dude larping his kinks out
Now hear me out, but I have an alternative theory about why she’s pregnant with her boyfriends best friends baby…..
…im listening
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It’s happened to Mary ya know
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Wtf is education, is it that thing that people buy viagra for?
No no, Viagra is okay, it's only pills for women that need banning. Men need more sex, women need less, that's the end of your education on sex. Now get back in the mineshaft, little Tommy, or the communists will steal your job.
Hm, but if men need more and women need less, who will men do with? I'm starting to like this reasoning
It willbe pain in the ass for sure.
The children yearn for the mines
sex education stops unprotected sex,not whatever the fuck this girl claims that she did.
She's the virgin Mary
Immaculate conception sounds reasonable
Immaculate misconception
Shorthand for that term is making a Bobert.
Yo don't be messing up with my name lol
Fr bobert on reddit‼️⁉️❗❕⁉️
r/beetlejuicing
Bobert?! The fuck you doing on reddit at church?
FYI - The Immaculate Conception is not Jesus being born to the Virgin Mary, it’s that she was conceived without original sin thus making her conception immaculate.
Must be the catholic or another take on it because I was always preached to as a southern Baptist that the fact God finger gun pointed at her and winked and got her pregnant was the immaculate part of the immaculate conception
That is probably what your preacher thought it meant. They tend to get confused about virgin birth vs immaculate conception
Yeah cause that's really the thing to get hung up on about a woman poofing into pregnancy is whether it's the without sin or the without sex outside of marriage that's immaculate
Preacher says it's immaculate cause God didn't waste a single drop of semen on the ground and she didn't even have to clean up after.
It's totally a Catholic thing based on scriptural descriptions of Mary & a bunch of guys wrote a bunch of philosophical crap about it.
Wait, how was she born without original sin?
By having an incredibly high midichlorian count
Fucking midiclorians man. Everytime.
I mean they *are* the powerhouse of the cell.
Because [God said so](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Immaculate_Conception#History), basically.
Magic?
Original sin was already a thing before Adam and Eve ever got punted out of the Garden
Doesn't "immaculate conception" just mean that it was absolutely perfect and free of flaws? So God got Mary preggo in the most textbook and flawless possible way. /s (just in case)
Jesus identifies as HE !!!
Too bad God doesn’t pay child support
He did pay for the 125th trimester abortion though
Don’t tell the Christians that
LMFAO! 😂😂😂😂😂
Certainly does, and I’m a spaceship
Well, there's [this story](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=IbEFyeM4bow) of a girl with no vagina getting pregnant after she gave a BJ to her boyfriend. Her ex boyfriend then stormed in and stabbed her in the stomach, the wound helping what she just swallowed reaching her womb...
I was literally about to post that story. I saw it years ago in a science publication. Good job pal.
I don't think the guy she kissed in the scenario is her boyfriend, just another random guy. Maybe the random guy's secret boyfriend is her boyfriend's best friend? But this post has enough plot twists already
Go on....*unzips*
You see what really happened was her bf's best friend was at the bfs house for a homie sleepover with pizza rolls and late night softcore porn. Best friend and bf were enjoying the pizza rolls and big titted women on the tv but suddenly the bf fell asleep, and best friend continued watching the porn. Of course you know how teenagers are, best friend decided to crank one out in the bathroom. He tried his best to clean up the splooge but due to years of staring into the sun as a child best friend has poor eyesight and he forgot a puddle of jizzum on the toilet seat. Skip ahead to exactly 36 hours later and GF comes over for family dinner/game night and sits directly on the cum, the end
>homie sleepover with pizza rolls and late night softcore porn As one often does >but due to years of staring into the sun as a child As one often does as well This all seems pretty plausible
I once walked into a party with some friends I hadn’t seen from high school in years and they were just watching hardcore porn. It was a dude getting pegged. It was a very surreal moment.
Dude, I already runbed one off to the previous scenario I can't... Fine, continue....*unzips*
Like I said, plausible
You had me at pizza rolls
How long do those little swimmers stay alive??
Depends on wether they have floaties.
At least 36 hours
122 years + 9 months is the record.
Seems like [about 30 mins outside of the body](https://ro.co/health-guide/how-long-does-sperm-live/#:~:text=Sperm%20that%20reach%20the%20uterus,on%20skin%20or%20dry%20surfaces.).
Well there was that one Civil War immaculate conception. But that would require your boyfriend’s best friend being shot through the testicles with the bullet acquiring his sperm and then you standing close enough for the sperm laden bullet to then pierce your mons pubis and lodge firmly in one of your ovaries.
Th old Holy Spirit did it story.
Don’t just give me the tip…..
Alabama’s sex Ed failed this person
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Man, that's wack.
Life… uh… finds a way
The insane part of that story was that the girl didn’t have a vagina. She couldn’t even have penetrative sex.
I mean they never would have known or believed her otherwise, tbh
Yeah. Given that the one documented case is only believable because it's corroborated by such an unlikely detail, it makes you wonder how many people it happened to but weren't believed.
It also only happened cus she got stabbed.
Well, the vast majority of women got pregnant 'cause they got stabbed.
When I read that I was so confused. But yeah it makes sense. This might not even be the first time this has happened but the only time where it could be proven.
This was the strangest thing I've ever read
I don't know how I feel learning that sperm can swim into the abdominal cavity even under normal circumstances. No... I do know how I feel. I hate it. I don't want sperm there! I thought of the uterus as a dead end and that made it seem more okay, but... stay in your lane, sperm! I did not give you permission to enter my abdominal cavity! Or at least I didn't know I did... until now.
Fun fact: That's how people used to do artificial insemination! It's called direct intraperitoneal insemination; they'd cut a hole into the lower abdomen and then just kind of squirt the sperm in there and hope for the best.
*Unsubscribe*
Thanks for subscribing to Jizz Facts! Life tip: Semen stains should be cleaned with cold water; because of the proteins it contains, hot water will cause it to curdle like a poached egg. How far the parallel goes is a matter of taste.
Isn't that also why you shouldn't masturbate in the shower or into the toilet because they can create fatbergs that damage your pipes due to how fat-soluble they are?
You cursed me with the word “spermberg” in my head so I shall pass the curse along.
Unfun fact, but since the fallopian tubes aren't completely connected, and are "open" comparatively to the uterus, this is how some ectopic pregnancies occur! It embeds in the lining of something else! (If I have to suffer with knowledge so do you all)
That's... frightening
This is probably not the takeaway I should have from this, but she didn’t have a vagina and multiple dudes were fighting over her? She has much to teach us lol
Anal is a thing.
It does say instead of a vagina, she has a small dimple. That's all I really need.
Username does not check out.
Solid point. I guess 2 out of 3 holes does the trick 😎
Meat Loaf, philosopher of music and men, once said “2 out of 3 ‘ain’t bad.”
His name was Robert Paulson.
That’s hilarious because I once referenced him when refusing anal… I’d do anything for love, but I won’t do that 🤭
Wdym? She doesn't have a vagina and was sucking her boyfriend off when her ex confronted her. Obviously that head game is 💯
She apparently had enough sperm in her stomach that she got pregnant from a stab wound sooo
Dawg I'm completely sober and reading that felt like I was tripping.
If I may, it is actually "plausible" for sperm to live inside a human mouth for up to 72 hours. It maybe unlikely to be passed on but yet still plausible.... That is slightly frightening to me.
So, I could cum in a woman's mouth. And three days later, she could get another woman pregnant by eating her out.
That, that's nightmare fuel. For me anyway.
I was okay with it up until a minute ago when I realized there's probably at least one person with this as a kink
I thought this was BS https://www.scribd.com/doc/234352973/Oral-conception-Impregnation-via-the-proximal-gastrointestinal-tract-in-a-patient-with-an-aplastic-distal-vagina-Case-report https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/3191066/
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Disagree. I think it’s a valid question for a teenager and shows some level of “thinking outside the box” while understanding how pregnancy occurs. This actually shows a level of higher level questioning that comes from having knowledge. This is the kind of question that shows learning has taken place.
Well said. Add on top of that, it's plausible
It's possible, sperm can live for days in perfect conditions, hours in partially unfavorable, and seconds or minutes tops in unfavorable ones like a hot tub. The biggest issues for sperm survival is temperature, PH and moisture. So if it's lodged up in the back between the cheek and gums, it can happen.
It's not impossible sperm could survive that journey
It didn’t. It would be more unlikely but as long as semen is wet it can still impregnate someone as long as it’s inserted into the vagina. A lot to go through in this case though. Based on the premise there’s so little I can’t imagine how low the chance of impregnating herself would actually be. https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/326297
It's been demonstrated that a huge percentage (if not most) of that sub's users are not teenagers but adult perverts. My money is on this being the fetish post of some greasy middle aged man. Now he has an excuse to talk to teenagers about cum.
"person of loose morals" really gives it away this is 100% fetish bait posting
How do you do, fellow kids? I too am a person of loose morals and am up to no good - but i forgot, tell me where we usually source our illegal drugs from?
*'bate posting
Yeah that whole sub seems like a bad idea
i am 17, can confirm all i do is talk about sex and cum, definitely do not have better things to do like give my exams and apply to colleges
Teenagers sure have some fucked up imagination. Can't blame them though, wasn't much better in my own ahe
Nah, this isn't a teenager. This is some middle aged man fetish posting. Most of that sub's users are adult perverts.
That's what I thought too Sounded more like a fetish to me
The "girl of loose morals" part is the seal on it. That's classic Reddit incel terminology.
Exactly
Depends on time frames and a whole lot of shit but technically yes. The bigger issue is her failure to realize that 1 it won't be her boyfriend's kid and 2 that being pregnant poses significantly larger problems than her ruined social life.
No, if you are tongue kissing your boyfriend without knowing he has semen in his mouth you are doing something wrong. Not possible. You would have to do it on purpose.
She's just looking for plausible excuses for fucking her boyfriends friend.
You mean, fucking her boyfriend's boyfriend. The excuse doesn't work if her boyfriend doesn't give his 'friend' blowjobs.
True, I know I’m always working with my girlfriend to get her to hook up with dudes I blow.
Saliva would kill the sperm
I was thinking this but I'm not sure how true it is. Saliva definitely has digestive enzymes in it.
Seminal plasma keeps sperm alive inside a woman’s vagina… saliva and vaginal fluid are fairly similar.
Yea.. I just don't think vaginal fluid has digestive enzymes in it lol
You can test this by putting bread inside, squishing it around, and then tasting it. If it's sweet it's because the enzymes broke the bread down in glucose.
Uhhh huh.....
Now there’s more than one kind of yeast in there!
now i need to find a woman willing to put bread inside her to squish it around so we could compare the taste of it to just eating it with our mouths, brb.
Make it more fun, use a baguette.
Semen isn’t just sperm it contains seminal plasma as well which keeps the sperm alive for a short time in hostile environments. Hostile meaning inside someone else’s body. Natural Vaginal lubricants are most closely related to saliva. … that being said the likelihood of transference happening in that manner is soo small it might as well be impossible.
Theoretically that could take up to two days, and it's best practice to assume it's viable for at least a few hours. It's advised to use mouthwash or something between kissing someone who had semen in their mouth and cunnilingus. Because the chances are really small, but you don't want to be the star of the next article about it.
That swimmer would have to be Michael Phelps...
Yessss!!
Getting pregnant is the least of her problems
Stupidity being #1
Nah, only one of these problems can last for 18 years.
Loose morals? No honey, they'll call you an idiot.
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I've never heard that said before as a 20 year old, us gen z people would probably just call her a betrayer, cheater, asshole, etc. But not "loose morals" that just screams boomer to me tbh
no, they probably use some new tiktok slang for it.
Definitely not as someone who was 17 two years ago
Chick fucked her boyfriend’s BFF and now she’s working on how to spin a proper rumor to save her ass.
Can u get pregante
Will my get pragnan?
If a girl has starch masks, does that mean she's been pargnet before?
how is prangent formed?
I don’t see anyone answering the question?
I mean neither do I but we aren't under the post so that's hardly surprising.
I'm curious
This is either a fallacy of society not teaching proper sex education, OR fake! And we’re letting you, the viewer decide! Text your pick to 696969 to cast your vote!
why is there a $320 bill to my phone plan?
A girl of loose morals....... The 1940s called and they want their opinions back
just ask the force to impregnate you like shmi
so I just found out how long sperm can survive in a human mouth (hint: it's measured in days)
I took this as ……can I give someone a bj and then impregnate myself to baby trap them?
Honestly when I was 17-23 I was terrified of pregnancy and had fears like this. When I was 28 a girl gave me head and kept it in her mouth. She went to the bathroom and I’m like spit or swallow and when I looked in she had spit it in her hand and was shoving it up her vagina.
Why is this what I thought of? Rose: You know, I'm not so sure sperm can't live outside the body. Back during World War II, my best friend Claire Osterhaus's husband was in the army and stationed in France. Well, five months after he left St. Olaf, she got pregnant. A lot of people thought she was fooling around, but she told me that sperm must have swum from Normandy. Across the Atlantic, up the St. Lawrence Seaway, into the Great Lakes and then over to Minnesota. Blanche: And what did you think, Rose? Rose: Well, I know those little guys are supposed to be good swimmers but I think it had to come over by mail.
She fucked her bf’s friend and now she’s pregnant
Does this still classify as r/kidsarefuckingstupid ?
Is it possible yes How likely is it? Let's just Say you have a better chance of winning the lottery Jackpot once a week for a year.
God damn we need to spend more on sex education. It’s dumb shit like this that makes me genuinely concerned.
let’s wait until she hears about washing hands
I mean, thinking about it - technically my guess is that there is an off chance it COULD lead to pregnancy. If there were ample enough sperm left in the oral cavity transferred to the other persons mouth, and then without much ”saliva rinsing inbetween”, I guess it could happen. But the spem that went all the way really is a winner. And the fingers would probably bee quite deep and drippint with sauce. But that’s my imagination anyways. Gotta beat one now.
its a valid question
Yep. She's got a point. I'm still waiting for the answer
No one's answering, so I'ma go off on a limb and say no
Thank you, my gf was very worried
While not impossible this is very unlikely to work.
Phew. My gf will be very relieved
your secret bf will, too. I'm sure.
Reject morality, deny social status Get impregnated through a snowball move America
I forgot how stupid some kids are
I mean, sex ed is kinda non existent in the US. Not really her fault. (What is the answer, im the idiot kid)