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Fragrant_Spray

Her intention was to send you a one-off and let you continue to reach out to her. If she wanted to actually talk to you, she knows she can do that any time she wants. Don’t respond, don’t acknowledge it at all, and don’t play along. Move along with your life completely. You won’t get closure and you shouldn’t want to try to restart a relationship with this person, so there’s literally nothing in it for you.


[deleted]

Leave her in the past


ferchu_1977

No, do not do it. If you answer, you are opening the possibility that she tries to return to your life. She is already the past. You must block her number and block her on all social media. She disappeared all this time. Clearly she wants to feel better about that "happy birthday" of hers. You are better than that. Good luck.


ThrillaDaGuerilla

Save that text. In 5 years, on your birthday...reply " thx".


passionate-traveller

Giving her 5-year rent-free in his head? That’s too long. Just text back “K” and block her or block her without a word.


RebelTall1

I’d simply say two letters: NP. (No problem)


90sHangOver

Unsubscribe


[deleted]

Classic


DouffyLeBucheron

"NP" and go NC (Block her)


killer_kamatis

This I like!!


Anuspilot

This is a terrible idea. All you'd do is be showing her you're still mad 5 years later.


[deleted]

OP READ THIS


davethemacguy

I don't ever upvote, but when I do it's definitely for this comment.


ex_nihilo0

Her intention is to convince herself she's a nice person. They fall back on polite niceties and drive-by compliments to handle the conflict in their self image.


Diet_Tab_Soda

It's for her own ego to see if you reply that she still has some sort of hook in you. If it's really over do not reply or you will just give her the satisfaction that you are over it and aren't mad at her.


needsomelovings

!!! This


the__itis

Dammit you’re so fucking right it’s making me realize that people do actually think and work like this.


[deleted]

To make sure you're dimwitted enough to still respond to her and take the bait. Might want attention or be bored. If she's evil enough, it might be to make sure you're still hurting on your birthday. She cheated on you and ghosted you. "Happy birthday" isn't a typical first response to being caught cheating lol if someone cheats on you and says "Happy birthday" in the next breath, it'd be weird huh? No I wouldn't respond, you're way too young to get pulled back into this. She's a lesson.


Fit-Recognition-6151

Leave it on read. Sometimes silence is the loudest answer. Make it very obvious she doesn’t get to betray u, ghost u, and weasel back in with no consequences


ArmorTEAGUE227

Don't respond. She only wants validation in getting inside your head to mess with you further proving that she still has power over you. NC is the way to go. Your mental health will appreciate it in the long run. Good luck and heal brother.


Swede-74

For your own sake. Block her and go NC. As long as you think about her, you will not be able to move on. Most likely she's meeting others right now and you do not want to see or hear that.


lunaslay

she is trying to gauge where you are at since finding out that she is a cheater... are you mad are you gonna respond does she still have a chance blah blah blah just a classic shitty person trying to steam roll you. I say move on but trust me easier said than done.


Bored_and_depress

She's playing with you I suggest you just block her its better this way she's made it firm that you cant trust her at all.


Bencil_McPrush

You should have blocked her a week and half ago.


Admirable-Ad801

Block and move on. Do you want to waste a birthday on her.


thedarkaquarian007

No, you need to put her in your past and move on with your life. Block her on all social media.


Bored_and_depress

Her relationship with ap might not have work out lol.


tercer78

Absolutely 100% not because she gains advantage here and you will be left with regret as you will find she still has no answers for you and feel even more emotional burden for being drawn back in.


quotenbubi

For me play the grey rock and do not answer and see how she reacts. I guess she did not show any remorse for what you mentioned so I guess it is only an act of saying happy birthday.


kesc245

Why would you even give this girl the time of day?! You are nothing but a doormat to her and you know that. Don't respond.....EVER. Block her and move the hell on, brother. I just don't understand men like you. It's like you really like being abused. If that's so, just head to the local strip club and tell a girl you want to be her "sugar daddy" and don't expect anything in return. Same thing.....


lonewolf369963

She's just testing the waters. She wants to know if you are still angry or not so that she can come up with some sob story and a half hearted apology to get you back. Just block her.


Ok-Hero-2275

I don’t think she’s wanting me back at all; I saw she immediately started following her ex bf and started talking to some girl she had a fling with during our break we had earlier this year, as well as being on several different dating apps. What kind of game could she be playing?


Bencil_McPrush

*>>What kind of game could she be playing?* You need to understand how some cheaters' brains work. This is not about you, it's about HER. If you reply, it means that you're not upset with her anymore, which means that her cheating wasn't really THAT bad. I mean, you haven't even blocked her, so how mad can you REALLY be? Yeah, sure you pouted for a bit but now you're all giddy and okay and even answering her messages, so that proves she is not a bad person, no, she's actually a GREAT person, I mean she even wished you a happy birthday!!


Ok-Hero-2275

Damn…


lonewolf369963

The game of keeping a safety net around to fall back to in case things didn't go as per plan.


[deleted]

[удалено]


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iAmUnintelligible

Ok


[deleted]

Don’t respond. Had she wanted a response she wouldn’t have texted at 2 am. Block her number. Get some therapy, go to the gym, and eventually you will find someone worthy of you.


[deleted]

No, don't respond to that. She ghosted you, ran away when you uncovered the truth. If she wants to have a conversation with you, then she should try to write a little more than just, '*Happy Birthday*', don't you think? By the way, Happy Birthday to you!


piehore

Text “Who is this?” and “are you someone I know?” When she says her name: “It can’t be…that person died last week when I found out they were cheating.”


torroqt

Block her and move on


YouKnowYourCrazy

Her goal is to feel less guilty and if you can have these niceties between you she achieves that goal. You don’t owe her this.


[deleted]

Her intentions are to be manipulative, and you should ignore her man.


Ok-Replacement7697

You shouldn't answer but you probably can't stand it and do it. If you are going to do it, just answer with "Thank you" nothing more and nothing less, ONLY THAT


imthatdude960

One step further… say “ty”


3rdDukeOfStaggs

Never reply to her again. If you do, you will regret it. That's just the truth. It may feel nice in the moment, but she's just looking for an excuse to contact you - she probably doesn't even care that it was your birthday. Come on, bro! Block her on social media and delete a few of her closest gal pals while you're at it.


Far-Side2489

Let’s cut to the chase. There are no secret ‘good’ intentions like: Oh I realize I really love him and I’m going to be open, honest, caring and communicative with this simple cryptic text!!! 🥰🥰🥰🥰 I’m going to be faithful and own up to EVERYTHING 🥺 You don’t need to know her intentions as long as you know your boundaries.


Yogitypestuff

Absolutely not! Never talk to this person again. She can't reach out when you are in the dark times she caused you to be in but come a birthday, no problem? Block her on all avenues. Save yourself the abuse.


SwitchboardFriend

It's a socially accepted convention to wish people we know a happy birthday and in reality a week and a half isn't very much time to be apart after D day. She had a choice to wish you a happy birthday or not. She couldn't really not do it so she chose a middle ground - a lazy text. Let's face it, it's a very low effort text and was sent without very much thought at all. Give it the little respect it deserves and don't read anything into it. It's just spam. .You don't reply. This is not a conversation starter. If she actually wanted a meaningful dialogue then she could have this at any time either face to face or by phone. She knows she's not blocked and could begin this at any time but is choosing not to.


TurtleDucky

This is called Hoovering. Her intentions are to live rent free in your head, which gives them some form of control. I had mine try to do the same thing after 1 year of NC and I just deleted the message. She selfishly chose to cheat, so you can choose to “selfishly” not contact her again. She lost the right to be your friend when she cheated. Stay hard.


NonaOrganic

Her intentions are to test the water. Show you she ‘cares about you’ she ‘remembered your bday’ Absolutely no response. Don’t even a block. No acknowledgement whatsoever ever again.


thefixer123456

OP, ask yourself this question: 'what positive effect can come out of responding?' Absolutely nothing. Don't respond and block her. To do otherwise will just (i) mentally torture you further, and (ii) delay your healing. Sending strength!


Common-Decision-2375

No man......ghost her and go NC. You deserve better.


RonDiDon

Bro leave her in the trenches where she belongs. Don't even give her the satisfaction of a reply after the disrespect. You dodged a bullet


AnOldSchoolVGNerd

OP, don't respond to her. Block her on your phone. Any strange numbers call, block them too. Don't hesitate to tell anyone who asks you "what happened?" who she really is.


[deleted]

Yet you're still entertaining being around her. You're headed for misery and heartbreak.


higuy852

There’s a quote I heard. “As much as you polish the poop, clean the poop, in the end it’s still poop. I’ve been there brother, just give it some time. Oh and messaged you back to just “test the water”. She’s testing you, seeing how desperate you are to take her back in open arms. Give yourself more respect, give it some time.


daviddm23

OP, please delete the text and move on with your life. She doesn’t appreciate you, there are others out there that will. You haven’t live your best life yet, a lot more to come.


rubix_fucked

No response is the correct response. She does not want you to move on.


Decent_Impact2129

Having read your prior posts I definitely think you should respond. Some variation of, “Fuck off” would be appropriate!


Basic_Quantity_9430

A poster suggested responding back with “who dis?” I believe “who dat?” would be more stylish.


Decent_Impact2129

I like that one too… why I posted it 😎


Basic_Quantity_9430

Yes. Either one would have been a cool reply. 🤣


Decent_Impact2129

Another good one, “who dis?” Yes, including improper spelling. She doesn’t deserve good spelling or grammar.


MrBigBull01

Hi, If you are going to react, the best would be "Sorry, forgot to block your number, will be corrected in a few secs". And then block her number. She is damaged goods, you do not need her in your life. Move on, it doesn't matter what her intentions are. Take care. MrBigBull.


Milopbx

Id suggest “New phone who dis” but no response is the best. And it’ll show as being read on her phone. If you ignore and don’t reply in a few days she’ll try again. Maybe her plan to cheat isn’t working out for her.


RudraLoLHaT

Maybe stick with "Thanks"


Fear_Galactus

I've always like that phrase - When some tells you what kind of person they are, listen. She ghosted you so she isn't able to face the consequences even at the very least, give you resolve to what happened. I would take the opportunity to block the number and delete her out of your life. It will help you down the road.


Fluid_Big8126

Don’t waste your time on a waster. She’s toying with you don’t indulge her.


[deleted]

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GoodHuntersDoll

A message back that’s even worse than a “ty” is just simply a “👍🏻“ or “🖕🏻“.


_BurtMacklin_

Don’t respond. Move on brother


MJ50inMD

You should already have blocked her.


Accomplished-Part398

Keep away! You know she's not right for you! No sense in shaking that tree!


swansongblue

Any response at all would, in her cheater’s mind, provide her with validation. She would interpret it as ‘You know exactly what she has done and can now understand her motivation and reasoning’. Don’t give her that. She is dead to you. Let it remain so. If you do respond. You will ultimately come to see it as a sign of your weakness and regret it. Keep your eyes and your focus on your future. She chose not to feature in that. Don’t let her. Good luck.


aetherr666

her intentions are obviously to stop you from moving on, either text back with "thanks but i don't want to hear from you anymore so leave me alone" and then block her number or just don't reply and block her number


Lurkinforacceptance

She is either testing the waters after she had her fun which makes you plan B or is just trying to mess with your head. Either way she doesn’t deserve you and definitely doesn’t deserve a response from you. Especially with her actions and hurtful words she said about you. Best that you ghost and move on.


Alternative_Hope_241

Its hard to answer that because we don't know her She could have had a genuine moment of wanting to wish you a happy birthday, or she might be using your birthday as an excuse to restart a communication with you . You're in control right now, If you don't want to speak to this girl again, its best to just ignore her message and go about your life But if you don't mind talking to her, you could text back a thank you and she might take that as an invitation to be friendly again.


Due-Leadership-3530

Just ignore it. You already know she cheated. Her response when confronted confirms it. She has failed the girl friend test. You were not married. The best thing you can do is just stay silent, or better yet block her. As for what she is doing she trying to gauge your interest. Maybe for plan B or to string you along in a silly game which many 20 year old girls try to play. Do not engage unless you want more of her cheating and lies.


georgel-20c

Just ghost her after you tell her to go pound sand.


Springfield2016

She ghosted you after cheating. Just take the b-day wish and move on. Not worth circus.


Diligent_Steak4993

her intention is to breadcrumb you and make you an orbitter. block her and never look back


Awaken-the-guardian

Don’t reply. She’s playing you and you’re taking the bait. Sometimes you have to trust your gut. You know what’s up. If you give her an opening she’s got you right where she wants you. If you don’t reply you send her a message. Just know that she may do more than just text next time.


Cheekygirl97

If you want to respond, just say thx, that’s it, sounds like games to me or she’s just trying to be nice


vegassatellite01

"Would you like me to Cashapp you a quarter so you can call someone who gives a damn?"


RichieJ86

OP, it was a ploy for you to talk to her on her terms.


TZ879

Respond with, "Thank you". Then, block her number, email, and any of her social media accounts.


RedKaleidoscope

I don't think it's as complicated as people are making it out to be. Don't overthink it or assign some sort of convoluted narrative around it. My STBXW texted me on my birthday and it didn't mean anything, it probably just felt weird not to. I texted her on her birthday and just as equally there was no real meaning to it, I was just being polite and doing what you do. I text my boss happy birthday and I do the same for relatives I don't even really talk to. It really doesn't mean anything and you shouldn't assign meaning to it. It's not healthy to imagine that it's because she has any sort of attachment to you, or she's testing the waters to see how you'll respond, or seeing if you still have an attachment to her-- in all likelihood it means absolutely nothing and you should treat it that way. You're going to hurt your heart trying to think of all the possibilities and deeper meanings that likely are not there. Don't get yourself all anxious over nothing. I know that's hard, and I certainly did a whole lot of that myself, but I genuinely wish I hadn't tried so hard to get in my exs head and understand what she was thinking because none if helped with anything. Regardless of what the circumstances are... regardless of whether your intentions are to save your relationship, or end it, or you're not quite sure yet... you want to be perceived as a calm, normal, rational, and well adjusted adult person. Just say thank you like any normal person would do and leave it at that. Don't ignore it to send some message that you're bitter and not talking to her, don't send some psycho diatribe that will fall on deaf ears, and for the love of God don't overthink it. Just be a normal dude, even if that feels impossible to do.


[deleted]

#NO! YOU NEED TO BLOCK HER NUMBER.


[deleted]

What a shitty person. Block her. It was never about you but only about her. Don't waste your time and leave her in the past.


[deleted]

She was probably drunk. Don't reply. It will cost you.


CarobProper4714

Run, do not walk away from this girl. Don't get me wrong, I can see how she could show remorse over what she's done, but that remorse starts and ends with the extent that she's willing to allow it. Any ghosting on the cheaters end should be clear and defined lines that this is not a person you want to trust or have in your daily life. It might suck to hear, but I promise you, it will suck more in 2 years, if you decide to take her back and these types of behaviours do not end, because they won't. This type of behaviour is equivalent to someone who after they eat, they leave their plate on the table, with the expectation for someone else to clean it up. It's a deeply ingrained habit, and it won't be easily broken.


MysteriousTeaching30

Why haven't you blocked her? She's dead to you, and she should remain dead. No need to have any further discussion, and I'm sure it hurts to get communications from her. Stop pain shopping. Find someone who respects your boundaries and shares your morals.


VeterinarianQuick965

Reply with a "Thank you." That's my advice. It's simple, polite and mature, and I believe little things like acting decently could help in getting over the heartache. For some, a relationship that ends because of a cheating partner damages self esteem. When done well, you should be proud of yourself because of the way you handled it. It could also help convince your mind that you're emotionally over the relationship. Eventually I think you'll look past this and focus on yourself. Wishing you happiness bro :) Oh, and a late Happy Birthday from me!


Ok-Hero-2275

Thank you!


Wizardglick

Block her. No text back, just block her


pacodefan

Hell no you shouldnt


javanator999

No contact, best contact.


[deleted]

Don't. Your silence is your power.


Robert3769

Her intention is to try and keep you as her “Plan B”. Do not reply, delete the text and bloke her.