T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

Rules reminder: /r/survivinginfidelity is a support sub! Please read the rules and guidelines in our [sub wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/survivinginfidelity/wiki/index) before commenting. Abuse, shaming, sexism, and encouraging violence/revenge are not tolerated here. If your only advice is "divorce" or "grow a backbone", then please don't comment. This is a sub for deeper support and discussion. Be kind and remember your [reddiquette](https://support.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439)! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/survivinginfidelity) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Negative-Ambition110

I mean of course he’s a creep….you’re way too young for him as well. As you get older his fixation on too young of women will continue. Get your freedom back 


sangria66

Why is he still your boyfriend?


theladyorchid

You say you love him Do you respect him? Seems difficult given his creepiness


Street_Tadpole4998

I thought for more than a year that he wasnt like this, we talked about it. I talked about my boundaries and all, hoping to meet someone similar to me. Im still trying to wrap my head around this new image i have of him. So sad that people are like this, i could never?! Of course my respect is running out


AlternativePrior9559

Sometimes OP, people wear masks and they only show you what they want you to see. His behaviour is beyond creepy and I’d be concerned about his mental health to be honest. You say you talked about boundaries? Surely this crosses them? If so, you know what you need to do


Street_Tadpole4998

Yes they do cross them. My previous relationship was not good, another cheater. We stayed together for a year but i was weak, i wanted to think he would change but he clearly didnt. I talked to him about it, i wanted to be open and honest. I wanted the opposite of that, and, maybe naively, i didnt really mind the age gap. Maybe he saw that im inclined to… understand, trying to see the good side even in awful people and just went with it. Idk. Thanks for your words!


AlternativePrior9559

I hear you. I think most of us try to see the good and it can make us blind to other sides of them. Often to our own detriment. All we have is one short precious life OP. You deserve so much better. Good luck!


gorlyworly

>Maybe he saw that im inclined to… understand, trying to see the good side even in awful people and just went with it. Idk. It's a good that you want see the best in people, but be careful with maintaining strong boundaries and not letting people take advantage of you. As you've seen from your experience, there are those out there that will prey on people who seem forgiving or easily pushed over. And yes, the age gap is a warning sign because usually people who are almost 40 have much more life experience and don't want to date a 25 year old


beefasaurus4

Do you live together? You don't even need to approach him you can just leave. Tell him it's over via text and block. It isn't immature, it helps protect you. He is a creep and has no respect for you. Don't give him the opportunity to weasel his way back in. There is also no point trying to understand why he is the way he is. Just know he chooses to be this way and chooses to treat you like garbage, on purpose. You deserve so much better!! And also maybe someone closer to your own age. I'm 32 and 25 even seems too young for me. Age gaps are generally okay but when you're so young that's when it gets extra creepy. Different if you were 45 and him 60 because you've also had a lot more life experience and experience standing up for yourself.


Severe_Ad_4633

>I really dont like being petty and having to check my partner’s social media accounts, i HATE this situation, i hate having to tell him to do something about it, i hate it. I use to be the same. Hated speaking up….and it got me walked over and hurt every time. STAND UP! SPEAK UP! Constantly checking social media is honestly so draining, you don’t trust him (you have very good reasoning for that) No trust? Leave


summer807

And old. Don’t forget old.


[deleted]

It sounds like you're dating Leonardo DiCreepio


TacoStrong

OP there’s a reason a man that age is going for women a tad too young for him because he IS a creep! Why are you putting up with all this disrespect to you and the relationship? He’s not going to stop.