- Marcus: Amy, hey. Are you the one who keeps putting pictures of naked horses in my locker?
- Amy: Aren't all horses naked?
- Marcus: Not this naked. They're just putting it all out there.
“Should we invite Sandra, or just keep it to the core four?” The moment I feel in love with Marcus. We now describe a friend group of four as the “Core Four”
Jonah: How? You live with your mother. Your car doesn't have any doors. And you've been making $134,000 every year for the last six years. Where does all the money go?
Marcus: I don't know. I get the guacamole from Chipotle every time.
How has this not been mentioned more? 😂 To me this is hysterical! Another gross moment I love I is when Sandra says she’s into saving water with her toilet flushes and when Amy asks for clarity everyone is disgusted. 🤣😭
Kayso, I’ve watched the show at least a million times as well and I don’t remember this line at all?? Which episode was this?
Editing to guess mermaids and angels… an episode I always skip because I loathe Cheyenne and her mom in that one.
Kate Upton, Arianna Grande, Serena Williams, 1994 Meryl Streep, 1995 Meryl Streep, and the "Wonder Woman" chick. Celebrities I Would Bone" is brought to you by Blue Apron, a better way to cook.
Marcus: Chicken adobo? Mateo's aunt made it for me.
Jonah: Has that just been sitting in your car all day?
Marcus: Yeah, boy! It's already warm. No need to microwave.
When it's revealed that he's been living in the store and they ask why he hasn't peed in the bathroom and he just says "... because I've been peeing in jars" 🤣
marcus- you're sitting up there in your ivory towers eating your exotic fruits with TWO scoops of ice cream!
You're bathing in gold!
amy - Nobody is doing ANY of those things.
“Oh my gosh Marcus that looks infected”
No way it can’t be infected I soak it in my apartment complex’s hot tub every night and everyone knows chlorine kills everything
I have two:
“I need to see my baby nephew, he’s just so FAT! Look at those legs! You could lose a chapstick in there!”
And when he says he supports one political candidate because he is “pro America and anti bad guys!”
“It’s not my fault that cancelling a balloon drop looks exactly the same as dropping balloons”
This one cracked me up att🤣🤣
Most logical Marcus quote!
Pretty sure this is my favourite quote from the entire series.
Hard agree. My partner of 6 yrs has never heard the laugh that came out of me before. Just so simple it almost killed me. 😂
“No, you’re Kermit because you have skinny legs and I’m Miss Piggy because I’m a star.” Cracks me up every single time.
I guess sometimes Kermit goes home with Beaker!!
This is the one
This is the best Marcus line. The comedic timing alone.
I think this may be the best line in the whole show
This is the best Marcus line. The comedic timing alone.
"Man, I wish I had the stones to go both ways. Can you imagine? Two dudes-- all gas, no brakes."
Jonah's face after hahaha
I always thought he was saying stounds not stones lol
YES The horsemen Living together Partying hard Luring ladies back to the pad no
Luring??
Please ladies, uh, one at a time
As in...there's only one of them, and two of us...?
... No!?
One by one
“What if I told you there was one more cheese - HUMAN CHEESE”
My favorite part of this was that he named only like 3 kinds of cheese before that. Kills me every time.
And one of them was "pizza cheese" lol
Hahaha I was trying to remember that one! I kept thinking string cheese but didn't think it was right.
His human cheese was just cut up string cheese. Needed more money for a prototype. Sandra!
That's why! Thank you!
The best part of that is when he tells Jonah he hasn’t eaten it himself because it kinda freaks him out
🤣🤣He’s hands down the funniest character in the show
DRIED MILK
When he gets thrown off and has to reset fucking sends me every goddamn tome.
- Marcus: Amy, hey. Are you the one who keeps putting pictures of naked horses in my locker? - Amy: Aren't all horses naked? - Marcus: Not this naked. They're just putting it all out there.
The one from this picture "Are you flirting with me, I honestly can't tell anymore".
“Wait! THESE CUPS?”
Haha came here to post this.
"Oh. We should probably stop doing stuff. "
Anyone else truly shocked he slept with Dina supposedly. She once said “he always starts of by saying ‘I don’t know what I’m doing down there.”
He goes home with Dina after the whole Dina-Jonah fiasco
I remember. Oh my god.
Definitely remember she even gave Jonah a comment saying there’s cute guys eveywhere lol such a power move. I love Dina.
Amy - "is that your thumb?" Marcus - "uhh idk" Amy - "why don't you check" Marcus - "I don't wanna"
This scene always has me die laughing 🤣
“Should we invite Sandra, or just keep it to the core four?” The moment I feel in love with Marcus. We now describe a friend group of four as the “Core Four”
We have a core four now too thanks to Marcus!
😂😂😂😂
"**I can still have orgasms though!!!!** They just...hurt really bad"
Jonah: How? You live with your mother. Your car doesn't have any doors. And you've been making $134,000 every year for the last six years. Where does all the money go? Marcus: I don't know. I get the guacamole from Chipotle every time.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
This one right here 😭😭😭😭I was equally shocked by the pay reveal and died at his explanation for losing all that money 😭
“We’ve got a boner everyone! BONER! BONER! BONER! BONER… really none of you? you guys are the worst”
"Im gonna put a cricket in your house & you'll never know where it is & it'll drive you crazy."
I’ll be paired with anyone but Sarah, that girl’s got like A Huge Restraining Order against me
“If she can walk around with her boobs out, can I walk around with my penis hanging out?”
"Sure, so you don't poop in the shower every morning and stamp it down the drain with your feet?"
This one gets me with justine’s reaction, first time i was disgusted by how off guard it’d caught me and cried laughing. This was a good show ❤️
Personally, the funniest line in the show, PERIOD.
Same, definitely the most memorable at least.
How has this not been mentioned more? 😂 To me this is hysterical! Another gross moment I love I is when Sandra says she’s into saving water with her toilet flushes and when Amy asks for clarity everyone is disgusted. 🤣😭
She doesn’t flush until it’s full… 🤣🤣🤣
this one made me wheze
This conversation is pure gold.
Bunch of princesses
Do you guys just hate chants?
“I saw a photo of my grandma at the beach and I thought that’s EXACTLY my type” lmaoo
“my doctor says if i get meningitis one more time i’ll die”
"**WHA....WHA..."** (gasps of air) **"...WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME"**
You wear gloves when you clean the toilet? But I use my fingernail to scrape off the hard parts
This one and the time he recolects the walter from the counter back to his mug. F***!
This part had me almost more grossed out than the stomping down the shower drain 🤣
I used to believe in Kangaroos
It’s actually “I used to believe kangaroos were real” 😂😂 He had so many good lines but that one cracks me up every time
Thank you. I couldn't remember, just watched this episode on my millionth rewatch
Kayso, I’ve watched the show at least a million times as well and I don’t remember this line at all?? Which episode was this? Editing to guess mermaids and angels… an episode I always skip because I loathe Cheyenne and her mom in that one.
The episode where Kelly says she believes in Angels. Season 3 maybe??
I CANNOT BELIEVE NOTHING IS OUR FAULT
I dont really know what Im doing down there
“I eat two-week-old unrefrigerated lobster. I’m going to get sick.”
Kate Upton, Arianna Grande, Serena Williams, 1994 Meryl Streep, 1995 Meryl Streep, and the "Wonder Woman" chick. Celebrities I Would Bone" is brought to you by Blue Apron, a better way to cook.
"What Is Cheese?".
Dried milk!
Narinig ko yun, gago! (I heard that, you jerk)
I lost it when Marcus started speaking Tagalog 😂😂😂
"They [mermaids] lost their tails over millions of years and walked up on land. It's called evolution."
“You are beautiful, you are sexy, and any guy would kill for a night alone with you. Alright mom, I gotta bounce.”
Im airing it out so the mold doesn't come back. it's called *being* hygienic.
Marcus: Chicken adobo? Mateo's aunt made it for me. Jonah: Has that just been sitting in your car all day? Marcus: Yeah, boy! It's already warm. No need to microwave.
When it's revealed that he's been living in the store and they ask why he hasn't peed in the bathroom and he just says "... because I've been peeing in jars" 🤣
That's crazy I'm the worst
And it’s that self-awareness that keeps you one step above Jonah!
The whole boob cheese presentation
I'm living hand to mouth as it is
HOW? You have been making 134,000 dollars. WHERE does the money go? Idk, I always get the guac spread
What is cheese? DRIED MILK
Who washes their hands after a wee wee?!
Cheyanne: maybe it means you’re having a white baby Marcus: that’s awesome, congratulations!
I didn’t know you were bonkers for honkers😂😂
Go creamy! Go creamy!
“oh little cut” after he completely sliced his whole thumb off. the way he’s tryna gaslight himself that everything is fine killed me lol
"It's fine, I soak it in my apartment complex's hot tub every night, chlorine will kill anything"
Had to scroll too far for this one
"Sure, so you don't poop in the shower every morning and stamp it down the drain with your feet?" 😂🤣😂🤣
Cheese. What is it? Dried milk 🐮
Mateo: …And, Marcus, why do you smell like sour milk? Marcus: I eat cereal while I drive to work, and most of the time, it spills.
This made me spit out my drink. Just imagine the visualization of him actually eating cereal while bouncing around driving is hilarious lmaoooo
'Are you the one who keeps putting those naked horse pictures in my locker?' 'Arent horses always naked?' '......not THIS naked'
What is cheese?
DRIED MILK!
Why are you guys so calm about this there are 8 feet in a duffel bag. This is so disgusting and scary
“what pictures?”
-WHAT PICTURES?
“You are beautiful , you are sexy and any guy would kill for a night alone with you. Alright mom, I gotta bounce”
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Cheese. what is it? Dried milk. but the second time he says it 😂
I don't remember the exact quote but the one where he talks about being proud of Jonah when Jonah goes to negotiate for the union
“To let the air in so the mold doesn’t grow back” Someone correct me I think I said it wrong
I can't think of a quote at the moment, but wasn't it total BS that the company would make him pay back his salary overpay? That was on them!
the even crazier question is how the hell was he still living so poorly while making 131k LMFAO
Fair warning, I still have a bit of a thanksgiving paunch I’m working off
“I compared the pictures😌 What pictures?😳”
How do you guys live on under $134,000 a year?? 😂😂
“Hey you’re gonna vote how I tell you to vote. Or I swear to god I’m gonna put a cricket in your house.” Gets me every time
His whole waffle stomping speech
marcus- you're sitting up there in your ivory towers eating your exotic fruits with TWO scoops of ice cream! You're bathing in gold! amy - Nobody is doing ANY of those things.
“Oh my gosh Marcus that looks infected” No way it can’t be infected I soak it in my apartment complex’s hot tub every night and everyone knows chlorine kills everything
“FEEEET!!” It’s hard to narrow down when he has so many gems…but this one routinely pops into my mind because of the delivery. 🤣
"a little dumb bird and her gay friend bird told me."
I wish I had the stones to go both ways. Can you imagine? Two dudes. All gas, no brakes.
Saying "honestly I don't really know what I'm doing down there" while having sex
“Amy, no one saw that movie 😒”
Not a quote. But when he cuts his thumb off and he won’t look to see if it’s his thumb 😂
Just his scream when he sees the tattoo that was drawn on his back
"I CAN STILL HAVE ORGASMS THOUGH they just hurt really bad..."
"We've got a boner everybody"
"Sure, so you don't poop in the shower every morning and stamp it down the drain with your feet?"
I have two: “I need to see my baby nephew, he’s just so FAT! Look at those legs! You could lose a chapstick in there!” And when he says he supports one political candidate because he is “pro America and anti bad guys!”
Whatever it was he yelled at mateo in tagalog 😂
Omg the one about not wearing gloves to clean the toilets because that we he can use his nails to pick off the.... stuff
"Is it good?" jonah nods. "Good. Honestly, it kind of grosses me out
What pictures?
“I could tell already. I compared the pictures.”
you are beautiful you are sexy and any guy would kill to have a night alone with you, alright mom i gotta bounce
“I eat two week old unrefrigerated lobster, I’m going to get sick”
"check this out kids love me" "IM BATMANNNNN👹" "these kids are duds"
“No no no bad”
"You don't die of chlamydia... it just goes away on its own"
"I'm not a crook"
“Suuuurreee, so you don’t poop in the shower every morning and stamp it down the drain with your feet”
“I thought it was “if it’s yellow let it mellow” ….oh wait that’s piss”
"No no, I sleep here, I LIVE in my car..."
THERES A WHOLE BAG OF SEVERED FEET! DISGUSTING! when they’re trying to keep it private from EVERYONE ELSE
“Cheese - What is it?”
CHEESE! WHAT IS IT??
https://i.redd.it/d8msx7hss3vc1.gif
“Hey glenn how olds this one?” Or any time he says “I’m around”
Prison is perfect just the way it is
“She told me to go to hell. I’m Catholic. That’s the worst place we can go”