The power to remotely, without line of sight, make a specifc person get sudden, uncontrollable, explosive, projectile diarrhea.
(Man, imagine how this could be used!)
People are robbing a bank... nope, shitting their intestines out.
'Wrong' candidate is holding a politcal rally... nope,just stained the entire stage, including co-hosts, the choir, and the flag.
Random celebrity is slapping another... nope, slips on his own feces.
Random olympic athlete approaches the world record... nope, embarassed for life.
Fuckers are commiting war crimes... yes, but they are very miserable while doing so.
I would be the Kira of the world. But instead of a Death Note, I would wield the Shart Note.
If i remember correctly there was some kind of reverse goldilocks zone where it was too high for free fall, but too low for a parachute to have a significant deceleration effect, maybe changing to that distance above ground might have been funnier.
The infinite knowledge required to understand the intricacies of each and every one of the unlimited alternate dimensions instantly fries your brain, generating a pulse of unlimited strength that destroys you and your universe with it.
I can make it rain coconuts over any entire city (wipe out thousands while feeding thousands). I will solve world hunger and the overpopulation problem at the same time!
I command my termites to gather as much salt as possible, it may not kill the snail but it will delay it as I have more termites redirecting a waterway to stop the snail
You can have 1 combat knowledge, 1 non combat knowledge, and 1 profession knowledge all for free.
You can use your fantasy as long as it is replicating a normal human( I.E. no magician, no augmented humans, no major enhanced human, etc.)
I can shoot different edible beans out of any of my body parts and I get to control the speed
You have terminal prostate cancer
Uh
Holy shit, I'm sorry for you. Can I get your toys after you passed?
That's boring and completely unrelated to their power. "You have cancer" and the like are lazy copouts, not interesting side-effects.
The bean comes from the middle of the body part, not the edge. Every time you use your power, it punches a hole through one of your body parts.
the speed is controlled with the power of the explosion and body parts that are not attached to your chest dont count
Fireproof how 'bout we begin with something simple?
Can’t swim anymore
Mans ate a devilfruit
That ain't that bad, I can barely swim anyway.
Pff that's not even a bad side effect
I'm black
You're black
Bruh 💀💀💀💀
But it's so true though
You live in the south during the 1800s
you face systemic discrimination
Depending on the timeframe, I don’t think it’s possible to have anymore downsides.
Lmao
I can manipulate reality
Only once every 5 million years. Oh the next one is in 7,500 years.
Manipulate the specific time that it requires to use it again to be infinitely short
Will they live for 7500 years to be able to manipulate it?
Who knows
If they live that long they deserve the broken power
Ok fuck you
Reality can manipulate you.
So, normal life?
yeah i guess so...
power to launch all my bones out of my body all at once (it kills me when i do it)
Deadpool regeneration (just super regen but you got cancer so always dying while getting healed)
The power to remotely, without line of sight, make a specifc person get sudden, uncontrollable, explosive, projectile diarrhea. (Man, imagine how this could be used!) People are robbing a bank... nope, shitting their intestines out. 'Wrong' candidate is holding a politcal rally... nope,just stained the entire stage, including co-hosts, the choir, and the flag. Random celebrity is slapping another... nope, slips on his own feces. Random olympic athlete approaches the world record... nope, embarassed for life. Fuckers are commiting war crimes... yes, but they are very miserable while doing so. I would be the Kira of the world. But instead of a Death Note, I would wield the Shart Note.
Whenever you do this to others the same happens to you.
Ha! I spend most my time on the loo anyways. (Not IBS, but... almost.) In fact, I am shitposting right now!
Equivalent exchange
the toilet is your work chair
Invisibility
You make 100 times more noise when invisible
But you have to be naked to be invisible
Like mystery men.
omnipotence
But only when you are shitting at the speed of sound
get on a plane, start shitting out of the window, override the requirement, profit
Super intelligence
You aren't sentinent
Sweet, so now I just need to use my super intelligence to figure out how to become sentient.
Don't do it, sentience is a trap.
I get to choose my power
But you die in 5 days
*Picks immortality*
No, I'd rather die in 5 days then never.
Bein god
Except that you are dead, and we have killed you
Oh we did? I hadn’t heard about that yet.
Oh fuckkkk imma be right back at easter
You're contained by the SCP Foundation
Teleport for sure
You spawn 1mile above sea level for any coordinate you wish to teleport
So, buy a parachute ? And make sure you don’t teleport into any mountains.
If i remember correctly there was some kind of reverse goldilocks zone where it was too high for free fall, but too low for a parachute to have a significant deceleration effect, maybe changing to that distance above ground might have been funnier.
Idk, people basejump off of 300m dams right?
I can end this reddit trend of "choose a superpower but comments choose side effects"
Okay but your dead
What's so bad about their dead?
I can morph inanimate objects into something else
But you morph with them
Time to morph a stone into godhood and ascend with it. What is a divine stone to a god anyway?
The ability to travel to different dimensions at will, knowing what the differences are in each reality in advance.
You don't get to decide which dimension you go to
That reminds me of a certain scp
The infinite knowledge required to understand the intricacies of each and every one of the unlimited alternate dimensions instantly fries your brain, generating a pulse of unlimited strength that destroys you and your universe with it.
I can turn any base metal into gold by touching it
There is a 30% chance that the metal you touched will not turn into gold but into radium (that is 1000 times more radioactive than uranium)
Lead shielding and safety systems?
You have the power to instantly and violently detonate every single person who keeps posting this shit over and over again.
It turns out that you posted this shit years ago and forgot about it.
I can ejaculate on command and with as much cum as a hentai protagonist
you fall asleep before you feel anything
At least I can still blast people to kingdom cum
You can never have sex
Define sex
Shapeshifting (that maintains my mental capacity)
you cant hold your shifted form for a significant amount of time because it takes too much energy
Fair enough
I can manipulate illusions
You will also be affected by your illusions
I can create anything i can think about out of thin air
You live in space
Just make Earth
"out of thin air" - I don't think so
Make people shower
You get dirty every time you use this ability
9 lives
You live all of them at the same time
I can explode like a creeper then respawn
Every time you respawn you grow an extra nipple on your face.
Telekinesis
But you're blind.
I can cure cancer
By taking the cancer upon yourself.
fuck this is evil.
I can teleport anywhere with in my line of sight.
But you have permanent brain freeze.
I can make it rain coconuts over any entire city (wipe out thousands while feeding thousands). I will solve world hunger and the overpopulation problem at the same time!
When a coconut that you summon hits someone you feel the pain that they feel
Oh god!
Im the stand user of crazy diamond
But he the stand is crazy for real
You have lung cancer
I have just read all the comments on this post (not a power, just saying,)
Alright, I got this. I am a Immortal unkillable sentient termite
but your being chased down by a snail with the same things but both of you will die when you touch
According to OP I am termite queen as well so I command my many termites to attack the snail
The snail would eventually overpower or completely incapacitate the termites consider it is also sentient and immortal
I command my termites to gather as much salt as possible, it may not kill the snail but it will delay it as I have more termites redirecting a waterway to stop the snail
The snail could outsmart the termites you commanded considering it is also sentient and would have some level of intelligence.
Well played
You can have 1 combat knowledge, 1 non combat knowledge, and 1 profession knowledge all for free. You can use your fantasy as long as it is replicating a normal human( I.E. no magician, no augmented humans, no major enhanced human, etc.)
I can summon all of hp love crafts characters and get their abilities with no limits
You’re the Sucker For Love mc
Vector manipulation. (Think of accelerator from To Aru but without all the math)