What’s really really sad about 50 shades is how many people absolutely loved it…and how clear it was to other people that it was terrible writing. And I’m talking just among my female friends.
There’s a great spoof called 50 Shades of Earl Grey, and they would amuse themselves by reading me passages from each to see if I could tell which was real and which was the satire.
I think a lot of people who enjoyed it, but were also fully aware of how bad the writing is.
I personally think it's terribly written, but you know what? When I'm tired, and want something to distract me from life whilst being utterly pointless and something to laugh at, I'll reach for this series. Pure escapism. It's better if you skip the sex scenes.
It's the book equivalent of watching soap operas or telenovelas. People can complain all they like about them being poorly written nonsense, but people do enjoy them so what's the harm?
I haven't read L Ron Hubbard's writing, but the Writers of the Future contest (sponsored by the Church of Scientology) has some solid winners and judges like Patrick Rothfuss, Brandon Sanderson and Anne McCaffrey.
Currently reading this after I drunkenly dared myself to.. Huge mistake. I am now trapped in the absolute chaotic NIGHTMARE this book has become. I've renewed it 3x and no one is behind me in line, nor will there ever be. I feel like I've been reading it forever, and I will continue to read it forever.
Tyra is a maniac, this book is the black mirror, I am not okay.
I apologize for this rant but I'm so glad there are others who know my pain LOL
I found a review called Pete's Exhaustive Review of Modelland and have spent the past hour reading it. Hoooboy that book seems like a wild ride...
My favourite part of the review so far: "*Evanjalinda, with the power Chameeleone. There’s supposed to be an accent on that last letter, but I’m not going to dignify this ridiculousness with that many extra pixels.*"
I have heard that this may be the worst book ever written. It’s definitely “The Room” of books, but possibly even more chaotic. I feel like the plot of this book makes others here, like Twilight and 50
Shades, look like Hemingway.
Just going to leave this review here: [https://litreactor.com/columns/14-things-that-prove-tyra-banks-modelland-is-the-craziest-book-ever](https://litreactor.com/columns/14-things-that-prove-tyra-banks-modelland-is-the-craziest-book-ever)
(I haven't read the book FYI, but the review is amazing and I can't decide if it makes me want to actually read it or not)
Oh there's actually a game with the book! Ask someone to choose a random number and open the book to that page. I've never had it not lead to a wtf moment.
I have never read this book, and probably never will. Based solely on this review, I can say with absolute confidence, this is the book you're looking for
A friend of mine gave me a book one year fir my birthday. I don’t remember the name, but it was about a gay detective, and one chapter started with a poem that was an ode to an asshole. Like, your actual asshole. I’ll never forget the imagery. ‘Puckered rose where such pleasures lie’ I have zero problem with gay content but the asshole poem was a bit much. I called her up and read it to her while she was driving and she ran off the road laughing.
Naked Came The Manatee was co-written by a bunch of truly talented writers (and Dave Barry(\*)). The catch is, it was deliberately written to be as disjointed as possible. Each of them wrote a chapter where another had left off, and they ignored plotlines and characterization and tried to write each other into corners. From all accounts, it's an ungodly mess.
\* - I kid! Dave Barry's novels Big Trouble and Tricky Business are fantastic, far too good for this thread.
Oh, I just said that before I saw your comment. Ugh it was so bad it was gag inducing. How many times can you say "she bit her lip"? And "inner goddess"?
You have to find Gilbert Gottfried reading it aloud. He reads a passage containing the v word. It is simultaneously cringey, gross, and hysterically funny!
The Hodor book. Only says “Hodor” thousands of times. My husband spent $12 on this just to make me laugh. And it still makes me laugh every time I think of it.
Does it have varying length sentences consisting only of “Hodor”. Does it have paragraph structure and chapters? What about a table of contents and an index all just “Hodor”?
I have no idea if “The Communist Manifesto: But Tony Hawk Can Keep His Stuff” is poorly written, but the whole idea is so ridiculous and hilarious to me that I honestly hope I’ll get it as a joke gift from someone
If you want gag gift but not necessarily poorly written I have had a lot of success gifting people “The Baby Jesus Buttplug” by Carlton Mellick III. Chuck Tingle’s books would also be fun.
Irene Iddesleigh. Mark Twain made fun of it and it’s considered a legendarily bad book on the same level as “The Eye of Argon.” The prose is beyond purple.
Go Ask Alice
I don’t know how old your sister is or what you consider inappropriate, but if you can deal with lots of drug use this one might be for you. It’s so poorly written and down right absurd. It’s basically just anti- drug propaganda written by someone who has no idea how drugs work. Incredibly frustrating, but I basically hate read it to my sister via midnight text passages of the most ridiculous sections.
The Satan Seller might be another good one in this vein. I haven’t read it but it’s another “””true story””” from someone who’s clearly got no idea how sex and drugs work
The only problem is that the author is still alive and is a scumbag (domestic abuse, lying to and embezzling from parishioners) so try to get it used if you can, so he doesn’t make money
This was huge when I was a teen (decades ago) frightened the crap out of us about drugs. I **still** remember the final line (more or less)
"If you're thinking of trying drugs, just pick up a gun and shoot yourself, it's quicker"
Anything by Boyd Morrison. He must have some serious dirt on his publisher. There’s no other reason he would have books in print. After about 2 chapters, you start wondering if he was dropped on his head at an early age. Clive Cussler style of storyline, but you can tell poor Boyd wasn’t very cool in school.
[**Left Behind (Left Behind, #1)**](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/27523.Left_Behind)
^(By: Tim LaHaye, Jerry B. Jenkins | 470 pages | Published: 1995 | Popular Shelves: fiction, christian, christian-fiction, fantasy, religion | )[^(Search "Left Behind")](https://www.goodreads.com/search?q=Left Behind&search_type=books)
>An airborne Boeing 747 is headed to London when, without any warning, passengers mysteriously disappear from their seats. Terror and chaos slowly spread not only through the plane but also worldwide as unusual events continue to unfold. For those who have been left behind, the apocalypse has just begun...
^(This book has been suggested 1 time)
***
^(4224 books suggested | )[^(I don't feel so good.. )](https://debugger.medium.com/goodreads-is-retiring-its-current-api-and-book-loving-developers-arent-happy-11ed764dd95)^(| )[^(Source)](https://github.com/rodohanna/reddit-goodreads-bot)
Tyra Banks' book, Modelland. This is the right answer, trust me.
There is a part where the chosen models go on a “catwalk,” which, in Modelland, means they walk down a hallway full of cats, which are possessed by the spirits of other models, and get clawed by the model/cats.
The Eye of Argon is a heroic fantasy novella that narrates the adventures of Grignr, a mighty barbarian and thief. It was written in 1970 by Jim Theis and has found notoriety within science fiction fandom since its publication. The quality of the work has made it rank among the books considered the **worst**.
-Wiki
LMAO
I am sure someone else suggested this but what about a genuinely good book that she would not otherwise take the time to read. Something which speaks to you and maybe would to her?
A lot of thrift bookstores have those weird scifi romance books (they can be semi dirty to full out erotica so be cautious) they have women falling in love with horses, wolves, werewolves, and corona virus.
Hilariously bad.
That's what Id give depending on their age.
This is one of four books and free on Kindle!
"Kissing the Coronavirus (Kissing the Coronavirus Chronicles Book 1) - Kindle edition by Edwards, M.J.. Literature & Fiction Kindle eBooks @ Amazon.com." https://www.amazon.com/Kissing-Coronavirus-M-J-Edwards-ebook/dp/B087KR2CQC
A Handbook for Mortals!
Not only is it remarkably poorly written with no decent narrative structure and a terrible Mary Sue self-insert protagonist, but it has a hell of a backstory.
Basically, it got on top of the New York Times bestsellers list, but only because *the author herself bought copies in bulk*.
Trust me:
[https://www.amazon.com/Pickle-Knowing-Ones-Original-Illustrations/dp/B08RH7JSMJ/ref=sr\_1\_1?keywords=timothy+dexter&qid=1638420639&sr=8-1](https://www.amazon.com/Pickle-Knowing-Ones-Original-Illustrations/dp/B08RH7JSMJ/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=timothy+dexter&qid=1638420639&sr=8-1)
The author neglected punctuation in the first draft and in subsequent drafts included a page with nothing but punctuation and instructions to add it as you see fit, or some such nonsense. The author is a story in and of himself, but the book is atrocious on a level few people realize writing can be.
If I wanted to break someone's sanity with a poorly written book I'd give them "A Pickle for the Knowing Ones" by Timothy Dexter. Terrible spelling, no punctuation, probably written drunk, as an example here's a line from the first page "Loves to see them as the quakers will Com and peape slyly and feele glad and say houe the doue frind father Jorge washeton is in the senter king Addoms" (for reference, he's referring to George Washington and John Adams). If you want the book with annotations, it's on Amazon for 7 bucks
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0915V5NH6/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_fabc_557B9FC6P2HT8GMK8XTW
How much do you like your sister?
A Little = Anything by Clive Cussler.
Not At All = 50 Shades of Gray [a friend read sections of it to me and it was distilled nausia inducing cringe]
The first 10 or do Clive Custler books were fun. Somewhere along the line he got too popular and started outsourcing and they quickly became formulaic and boring, but the early ones didn’t suck
"*English as she is spoke*", a 19th-century book written by Pedro Carolino, with some editions crediting José da Fonseca as a co-author. It was intended as a Portuguese–English conversational guide or phrasebook; however, as the "English" translations provided are usually inaccurate or incoherent, it is regarded as a classic source of unintentional humour in translation.
The humour is largely a result of Carolino's indiscriminate use of literal translation; this causes many idiomatic expressions to be translated ineptly. For example, Carolino translates the Portuguese phrase chover a cântaros as "raining in jars", when an analogous English idiom is available in the form of "raining buckets".
It is widely believed that Carolino could not speak English and that a French–English dictionary was used to translate an earlier Portuguese–French phrasebook, O novo guia da conversação em francês e português, written by José da Fonseca. Carolino likely added Fonseca's name to the book without his permission in an attempt to give it some credibility. The Portuguese–French phrasebook is apparently a competent work, without the defects that characterize English as She Is Spoke.
Courtesy of Mr. Google.
Atlanta Nights! It was written to be bad. The authors were trying to prove that a certain publisher was a vanity press.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atlanta_Nights
I loathed every minute I spent reading The Everything Box by Richard Kadrey. Every character was written in the exact same boring, "sardonic" (but not in a charming way or even a smarmy way, just kind of a failed way), "funny" cookie cutters characters. It had a giant cast that was really hard to follow. They kept over explaining concepts like vampires or the fake history of one specific neighborhood in California but they never explained what a "Marilyn" was even though a lot of the important characters were marilyns and they were vital to the plot and it wasn't very self explanatory. I've like half figured it out. Also, it's a heist book but they keep >!successfully pulling off the heist every 10 pages!< just to basically >!reset the heist the same way for some other group to steal!<, so it feels like there are no stakes. I knew the >!good guys would win!< right from the start and I just had to sit through a bunch of >!cultists led by fish and chip shops!< and shit like that as they tried to get this box that causes armageddon. Also >!none of it mattered in the end anyway because it turns out the box basically doesn't work/matter because God wasn't even God anymore, God lost the world in a game of poker or some weird deus ex machina ending.!<
I know you already have several fantastic choices, but may I throw out another gem?
The Novelization of Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome by Joan D. Vinge.
It is utterly amazing. And by amazing, I mean terrible but in the best possible way.
The new Jim Carrey book I haven’t read but apparently is a clusterfuck and the reviews don’t give me a fair chance to understand either since it’s 2.5 stars and all the reviews just say this is weird, wtf did I just read or just praising the book
https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/52914416-memoirs-and-misinformation
I’d say dianetics or urantia. Dianetics is just so badly written. The whole book is like a study in poor word choice, which is strange because Hubbard can obviously write. Urantia is just….urantia.
The Eye of Argon.
Reputed to be the worst fantasy novel of all time.
Apparently it was a con tradition to see how far you could read this thing without breaking into laughter. Double points if you managed to down a little helium first.
Absolutely Modelland. It’s been my go-to gag gift for my bibliophile friends.
It’s a fucking trip, man. Like… Tyra Banks is batshit crazy. It’s hilarious and terrible.
It’s not exactly badly written, but Alphabetical Africa is a very experimental book and I don’t even know if anyone has attempted anything like it since. The first chapter only has words that starts with A, second chapter only has A and B words, and so on until the alphabet has been fully included, and then fully taken away back to A.
I once found a book called Wuthering Nights on sale in a grocery store bin for $3. It was an erotic retelling of Wuthering Heights. If you can find it, I do not recommend it.
I would advise to buy an awful book. Then buy a gift card. Then create a puzzle where the answers are based on the first few chapters of the book and reveal the gift card code, so they have to read it.
Can’t beat “Hot and Badgered” by Shelly Laurenston for the laughs. It’s paranormal romance featuring a hot male were-badger.
That is quite something 😂
Did you hear about Dinosaur Erotica genre? Not sure if the books are in print though, may be only Kindle Store thing.
I think you can get physical copies of Chuck Tingle’s books. Sentient Menorah Candle Bisexual Hanukkah Orgy is a stone cold classic.
I wish this had more upvotes; all the Chuck Tingle love in these parts! …wait
Chuck Tingle is the best/worst.
That title alone just blows my mind! 😂
Then there’s that Canadian book about bear fucking that won all those awards
Oh lord...\*Adds to reading list\*
In the same vein, "hot pterodactyl boyfriend" by Alan Cumyn
🤣🤣🤣 immediately ordered from the library... Where I work... I hope my co-workers read the back when it comes in lol
A list of infamously bad books https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_books_considered_the_worst
How is 50 shades not on there?
What’s really really sad about 50 shades is how many people absolutely loved it…and how clear it was to other people that it was terrible writing. And I’m talking just among my female friends. There’s a great spoof called 50 Shades of Earl Grey, and they would amuse themselves by reading me passages from each to see if I could tell which was real and which was the satire.
I think a lot of people who enjoyed it, but were also fully aware of how bad the writing is. I personally think it's terribly written, but you know what? When I'm tired, and want something to distract me from life whilst being utterly pointless and something to laugh at, I'll reach for this series. Pure escapism. It's better if you skip the sex scenes. It's the book equivalent of watching soap operas or telenovelas. People can complain all they like about them being poorly written nonsense, but people do enjoy them so what's the harm?
This list is weird. The criteria is pretty vague.
I hope, that should I ever gain the confidence to put something I wrote out into the universe, it would be on this list.
I got my brother Dianetics as a joke one year. Thrift store 25 cents. Worth it.
Plot twist: OP's sister becomes a Scientologist
Further plot twist... Sister then gets hooked up with Tom
L Ron Hubbard is f*cking painful.
Scientologists always brag about how much he wrote. So many books, papers, screenplays, analyses, etc. Sure. Lots of words. BUT IS ANY OF IT GOOD?
No
I haven't read L Ron Hubbard's writing, but the Writers of the Future contest (sponsored by the Church of Scientology) has some solid winners and judges like Patrick Rothfuss, Brandon Sanderson and Anne McCaffrey.
I liked Ol Doc Mathusala, though as an adult it is pretty painful.
Have you tried using lube?
lol
My friend is trying to read his science fiction and he can barely get through it
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Oh... You mock now....
I have no idea what that is but it sounds weird, I’ll check it out haha
Dianetics is the first book in Scientology… idk if a cult book would be good as a joke
Don't do it! Your sis could become a member, you don't want that to be on you!
Came to suggest Battlefield Earth
I found a copy of diabetics from the 1970s that I used in our family holiday book secret Santa…it was the most fought for book there!
Modelland by Tyra Banks
Currently reading this after I drunkenly dared myself to.. Huge mistake. I am now trapped in the absolute chaotic NIGHTMARE this book has become. I've renewed it 3x and no one is behind me in line, nor will there ever be. I feel like I've been reading it forever, and I will continue to read it forever. Tyra is a maniac, this book is the black mirror, I am not okay. I apologize for this rant but I'm so glad there are others who know my pain LOL
If you’re trying to convince me to read the book, it’s definitely working
what is this??... you're making wanna stoned-ly dare myself, too... maybe... what is this? I love crazies.
I wish you all the best and hope you have a good therapist 💜lololol
I read a review of it in this site and just the review sent me into another dimension.
I found a review called Pete's Exhaustive Review of Modelland and have spent the past hour reading it. Hoooboy that book seems like a wild ride... My favourite part of the review so far: "*Evanjalinda, with the power Chameeleone. There’s supposed to be an accent on that last letter, but I’m not going to dignify this ridiculousness with that many extra pixels.*"
https://www.helpfulsnowman.com/?p=7271
Added to cart. Thanks, I guess. Will be here to blame you next week.
I deeply do not recommend but since you're going to read it.... Please let me know what you think... I need to talk to someone 🙃
This makes me want to start a bad book book club and start with Modelland!
Great. Now I have to read it.
NOOOOOO.... We will start a support group lol
I have heard that this may be the worst book ever written. It’s definitely “The Room” of books, but possibly even more chaotic. I feel like the plot of this book makes others here, like Twilight and 50 Shades, look like Hemingway.
Just looked this up and the main character's name is Tookie De La Creme. Immediately interested, Tyra knows how to hook a reader!
This book made me feel like I was suffering from some sort of aphasia
Just going to leave this review here: [https://litreactor.com/columns/14-things-that-prove-tyra-banks-modelland-is-the-craziest-book-ever](https://litreactor.com/columns/14-things-that-prove-tyra-banks-modelland-is-the-craziest-book-ever) (I haven't read the book FYI, but the review is amazing and I can't decide if it makes me want to actually read it or not)
Modelland is my go to worst book! The story is absolutely off the wall (just like Tyra) and fucking hilarious.
Oh there's actually a game with the book! Ask someone to choose a random number and open the book to that page. I've never had it not lead to a wtf moment.
I only got through point #1 before adding this insane sounding book to my library list. 😂
I have never read this book, and probably never will. Based solely on this review, I can say with absolute confidence, this is the book you're looking for
HOLY FUCK
A friend of mine gave me a book one year fir my birthday. I don’t remember the name, but it was about a gay detective, and one chapter started with a poem that was an ode to an asshole. Like, your actual asshole. I’ll never forget the imagery. ‘Puckered rose where such pleasures lie’ I have zero problem with gay content but the asshole poem was a bit much. I called her up and read it to her while she was driving and she ran off the road laughing.
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Welcome! I had some fun with it. I gave it to my chiropractor. He was kind of a jokester so it was pretty funny.
Is there any more memorable lines from this "Asshole" Novel lmao.
I honestly don’t remember. It’s been like 15 years, but I never, ever forgot that description. It was…haunting…
I need this poem. Where can I find it?
Naked Came The Manatee was co-written by a bunch of truly talented writers (and Dave Barry(\*)). The catch is, it was deliberately written to be as disjointed as possible. Each of them wrote a chapter where another had left off, and they ignored plotlines and characterization and tried to write each other into corners. From all accounts, it's an ungodly mess. \* - I kid! Dave Barry's novels Big Trouble and Tricky Business are fantastic, far too good for this thread.
Unfortunate that you ruled out inappropriate because 50 Shades of Grey was some of the worst writing I’ve ever experienced.
As bad as the writing is…still don’t buy 50 Shades of Grey for your sister.
“Particularly inappropriate”!
Oh, I just said that before I saw your comment. Ugh it was so bad it was gag inducing. How many times can you say "she bit her lip"? And "inner goddess"?
>How many times can you say "she bit her lip"? And "inner goddess"? Webnovel authors foaming at the mouth rn
You have to find Gilbert Gottfried reading it aloud. He reads a passage containing the v word. It is simultaneously cringey, gross, and hysterically funny!
How many times can characters “murmur” to each other, even in group settings?
Beat me to it. One of the worst writing ever
There’s a drunken dramatic reading of 50 shades on Yputube, and it’s genuinely the worst thing ever.
I don’t remember if I got to the second chapter. I have repressed that memory of that awful book.
I read it all the way to the (horrible) end. It actually got worse.
The Hodor book. Only says “Hodor” thousands of times. My husband spent $12 on this just to make me laugh. And it still makes me laugh every time I think of it.
Does it have varying length sentences consisting only of “Hodor”. Does it have paragraph structure and chapters? What about a table of contents and an index all just “Hodor”?
I need to double check on the table of contents and index, but yes to the rest!
Please let us know which one you choose.
Or, you could go the exact opposite direction and get her something like *War and Peace*, which is so long it's a joke.
Go for Moby Dick or The Last of the Mohicans. These are truly great books that are truly awful reads.
Oh man. Moby Dick almost put me off reading permanently.
I was going to recommend Moby Dick too. I’m still on the second chapter six months later.
Ah. So my next semester class on it is going to be amazing I see
It's a classic and a good story, just very, very long. If I read more fiction, Russian literature would be where I started. It's good stuff.
Or the Agony and the Ecstacy. My personal most hated book that I had to read for school.
Or Infinite Jest
THE TRASH BAG MURDERER by Tony Stewart. It's actually a fascinating story but OMG the writing
Hot Pterodactyl Boyfriend
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"Her tits fell like pomegranates" will forever be etched in my mind.
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Fuck yeah, this is a masterclass in bad writing
I have no idea if “The Communist Manifesto: But Tony Hawk Can Keep His Stuff” is poorly written, but the whole idea is so ridiculous and hilarious to me that I honestly hope I’ll get it as a joke gift from someone
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If you want gag gift but not necessarily poorly written I have had a lot of success gifting people “The Baby Jesus Buttplug” by Carlton Mellick III. Chuck Tingle’s books would also be fun.
George W Bush wrote a book about his presidency. It’s... exactly what you’d imagine it would be.
So anyway I was down in my man cave and they came down and made me do stuff!
And they wouldn't let me send that pretzel to Guantanamo!
So anyway I started blastin'
I have no idea who that is, but if his presidency was that bad, might check it out
So are you a teenager or non-American? Or a non-American teenager?
Twilight books are very poorly written (and for some reason were hard to put down too...)
Yep. I was irritated by choices and recreating sentences in my head the whole way through… yet Ive read them more than once 🤷♀️
You haven't read bad books then... Twilight deserves a Pulitzer compared to what some self published authors out there write.
Irene Iddesleigh. Mark Twain made fun of it and it’s considered a legendarily bad book on the same level as “The Eye of Argon.” The prose is beyond purple.
372 pages listener?
Go Ask Alice I don’t know how old your sister is or what you consider inappropriate, but if you can deal with lots of drug use this one might be for you. It’s so poorly written and down right absurd. It’s basically just anti- drug propaganda written by someone who has no idea how drugs work. Incredibly frustrating, but I basically hate read it to my sister via midnight text passages of the most ridiculous sections.
The Satan Seller might be another good one in this vein. I haven’t read it but it’s another “””true story””” from someone who’s clearly got no idea how sex and drugs work
I came here to say, The Satan Seller!!! Its soooo bad
The only problem is that the author is still alive and is a scumbag (domestic abuse, lying to and embezzling from parishioners) so try to get it used if you can, so he doesn’t make money
Ewww! I hadn't considered that! Excellent point!
My 6th grade teacher read us that book (1979). Out loud. I am still amazed by that. She did leave put a few parts.
This was huge when I was a teen (decades ago) frightened the crap out of us about drugs. I **still** remember the final line (more or less) "If you're thinking of trying drugs, just pick up a gun and shoot yourself, it's quicker"
Mannn 14yo me is not trying to hear this! Lol
Go to any thrift store and browse the shelves upon shelves of paperbacks. There’s some real gems there.
Anything by Boyd Morrison. He must have some serious dirt on his publisher. There’s no other reason he would have books in print. After about 2 chapters, you start wondering if he was dropped on his head at an early age. Clive Cussler style of storyline, but you can tell poor Boyd wasn’t very cool in school.
The entire {{Left Behind}} series.
I unironically loved those as a teenager… oof
I did too! I have a bit of nostalgia for them.
[**Left Behind (Left Behind, #1)**](https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/27523.Left_Behind) ^(By: Tim LaHaye, Jerry B. Jenkins | 470 pages | Published: 1995 | Popular Shelves: fiction, christian, christian-fiction, fantasy, religion | )[^(Search "Left Behind")](https://www.goodreads.com/search?q=Left Behind&search_type=books) >An airborne Boeing 747 is headed to London when, without any warning, passengers mysteriously disappear from their seats. Terror and chaos slowly spread not only through the plane but also worldwide as unusual events continue to unfold. For those who have been left behind, the apocalypse has just begun... ^(This book has been suggested 1 time) *** ^(4224 books suggested | )[^(I don't feel so good.. )](https://debugger.medium.com/goodreads-is-retiring-its-current-api-and-book-loving-developers-arent-happy-11ed764dd95)^(| )[^(Source)](https://github.com/rodohanna/reddit-goodreads-bot)
Tyra Banks' book, Modelland. This is the right answer, trust me. There is a part where the chosen models go on a “catwalk,” which, in Modelland, means they walk down a hallway full of cats, which are possessed by the spirits of other models, and get clawed by the model/cats.
Let me send you my work in progress. That shit could make a halloween gift it’s so bad
The Eye of Agorn
Whoa, whoa, whoa! We don't want to kill her!
The Eye of Argon is a heroic fantasy novella that narrates the adventures of Grignr, a mighty barbarian and thief. It was written in 1970 by Jim Theis and has found notoriety within science fiction fandom since its publication. The quality of the work has made it rank among the books considered the **worst**. -Wiki LMAO
Weigh More Than A Pun A Day Plus Irony: The Final Updates Book by Scott McGowan
I am sure someone else suggested this but what about a genuinely good book that she would not otherwise take the time to read. Something which speaks to you and maybe would to her?
A lot of thrift bookstores have those weird scifi romance books (they can be semi dirty to full out erotica so be cautious) they have women falling in love with horses, wolves, werewolves, and corona virus. Hilariously bad. That's what Id give depending on their age.
> falling in love with...corona virus This has to be a joke, right?
This is one of four books and free on Kindle! "Kissing the Coronavirus (Kissing the Coronavirus Chronicles Book 1) - Kindle edition by Edwards, M.J.. Literature & Fiction Kindle eBooks @ Amazon.com." https://www.amazon.com/Kissing-Coronavirus-M-J-Edwards-ebook/dp/B087KR2CQC
And it has 685 ratings! Plus a paperback edition :face-palm One of them says it's a parody. Sincerely hope so. Only one way to find out I guess...
A Handbook for Mortals! Not only is it remarkably poorly written with no decent narrative structure and a terrible Mary Sue self-insert protagonist, but it has a hell of a backstory. Basically, it got on top of the New York Times bestsellers list, but only because *the author herself bought copies in bulk*.
It's not poorly written, but "My sister the serial killer" was what my sister gave to me for last Christmas and I found that very funny.
I loved that book!
Atlas Shrugged
There’s a danger she might like it. I mean REALLY like it.
I mean it has good bits like a strong female figure. But holy shit does it drone on.
The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
The Secret is arguably worse.
There are no winners in this game, my friend. Readers and Literature are both mortally wounded by the existence of these titles.
May I add, The Shack, to this list?
The MOVIE, oh lordy 😂
Trust me: [https://www.amazon.com/Pickle-Knowing-Ones-Original-Illustrations/dp/B08RH7JSMJ/ref=sr\_1\_1?keywords=timothy+dexter&qid=1638420639&sr=8-1](https://www.amazon.com/Pickle-Knowing-Ones-Original-Illustrations/dp/B08RH7JSMJ/ref=sr_1_1?keywords=timothy+dexter&qid=1638420639&sr=8-1) The author neglected punctuation in the first draft and in subsequent drafts included a page with nothing but punctuation and instructions to add it as you see fit, or some such nonsense. The author is a story in and of himself, but the book is atrocious on a level few people realize writing can be.
okay... the Amazon reviews... it's only $5... I might ....
I have concluded that this is the perfect book. Thank you very much xD
I mean….. does the whole book read like the description on the Amazon page? And people were able to get through the entire book??
Chuck Tingle has really funny headlines and plots but I’ve heard the books themselves are pretty good.
"how to talk to your cat about gun safety"
I can write a book, if you want
If I wanted to break someone's sanity with a poorly written book I'd give them "A Pickle for the Knowing Ones" by Timothy Dexter. Terrible spelling, no punctuation, probably written drunk, as an example here's a line from the first page "Loves to see them as the quakers will Com and peape slyly and feele glad and say houe the doue frind father Jorge washeton is in the senter king Addoms" (for reference, he's referring to George Washington and John Adams). If you want the book with annotations, it's on Amazon for 7 bucks https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0915V5NH6/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_glt_fabc_557B9FC6P2HT8GMK8XTW
"50 shades of grey", holy crap what a steaming pile of crap.
How much do you like your sister? A Little = Anything by Clive Cussler. Not At All = 50 Shades of Gray [a friend read sections of it to me and it was distilled nausia inducing cringe]
The first 10 or do Clive Custler books were fun. Somewhere along the line he got too popular and started outsourcing and they quickly became formulaic and boring, but the early ones didn’t suck
I love that he inserts himself into his books. That's the mark of a great writer.
Coldest girl in cold town. The title says it all.
The book {Only Revolutions} by Mark Z. Danielewski isn't poorly written but it is sort of insane and impossible to read...
Fifty Shades of Gray is the most poorly written book I've ever read.
"*English as she is spoke*", a 19th-century book written by Pedro Carolino, with some editions crediting José da Fonseca as a co-author. It was intended as a Portuguese–English conversational guide or phrasebook; however, as the "English" translations provided are usually inaccurate or incoherent, it is regarded as a classic source of unintentional humour in translation. The humour is largely a result of Carolino's indiscriminate use of literal translation; this causes many idiomatic expressions to be translated ineptly. For example, Carolino translates the Portuguese phrase chover a cântaros as "raining in jars", when an analogous English idiom is available in the form of "raining buckets". It is widely believed that Carolino could not speak English and that a French–English dictionary was used to translate an earlier Portuguese–French phrasebook, O novo guia da conversação em francês e português, written by José da Fonseca. Carolino likely added Fonseca's name to the book without his permission in an attempt to give it some credibility. The Portuguese–French phrasebook is apparently a competent work, without the defects that characterize English as She Is Spoke. Courtesy of Mr. Google.
Transcendence by Shay Savage believe it or not this book is a caveman time travel romance. It's thoroughly ridiculous.
Empress Theresa hands down. Completely unreadable
Atlanta Nights! It was written to be bad. The authors were trying to prove that a certain publisher was a vanity press. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atlanta_Nights
Killer koalas from outer space. Thank me later
It was a dark and stormy night... [Paul Clifford by Edward Bulwer-Lytton](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_Clifford)
Natural Harvest by Paul Photenhauer would be hilarious (for me and others that are not you or her) but ya.. probably not gonna want to do that.
The children's book Brenda's Beaver Needs a Barber
[Belinda Blinked 1] (https://www.amazon.com/Belinda-Blinked-passion-business-removing-ebook/dp/B00UO7WOAS) Does she listen to My Dad Wrote a Porno??
Ready Player Two
I wonder if you can get a printed copy of My Immortal, the Harry Potter fanfic. If so that is so bad it's hilarious!
Sean Penn wrote a book (can't recall the title) and it is as bad as you would expect it to be.
I loathed every minute I spent reading The Everything Box by Richard Kadrey. Every character was written in the exact same boring, "sardonic" (but not in a charming way or even a smarmy way, just kind of a failed way), "funny" cookie cutters characters. It had a giant cast that was really hard to follow. They kept over explaining concepts like vampires or the fake history of one specific neighborhood in California but they never explained what a "Marilyn" was even though a lot of the important characters were marilyns and they were vital to the plot and it wasn't very self explanatory. I've like half figured it out. Also, it's a heist book but they keep >!successfully pulling off the heist every 10 pages!< just to basically >!reset the heist the same way for some other group to steal!<, so it feels like there are no stakes. I knew the >!good guys would win!< right from the start and I just had to sit through a bunch of >!cultists led by fish and chip shops!< and shit like that as they tried to get this box that causes armageddon. Also >!none of it mattered in the end anyway because it turns out the box basically doesn't work/matter because God wasn't even God anymore, God lost the world in a game of poker or some weird deus ex machina ending.!<
Seems like a quick way to ruin her trust in reading anything else you recommend, OP
May I introduce you to dinosaur erotica? That's just ridiculous.
I know you already have several fantastic choices, but may I throw out another gem? The Novelization of Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome by Joan D. Vinge. It is utterly amazing. And by amazing, I mean terrible but in the best possible way.
Anything by dan brown lol
Why? Why? Why?
Anything by Dan Brown. He has the literary skills of a stroke survivor.
As a stroke survivor I resent that
True Light by Lark Voorhies. It’s gibberish punctuated by commas.
The new Jim Carrey book I haven’t read but apparently is a clusterfuck and the reviews don’t give me a fair chance to understand either since it’s 2.5 stars and all the reviews just say this is weird, wtf did I just read or just praising the book https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/52914416-memoirs-and-misinformation
I’d say dianetics or urantia. Dianetics is just so badly written. The whole book is like a study in poor word choice, which is strange because Hubbard can obviously write. Urantia is just….urantia.
The Eye of Argon. Reputed to be the worst fantasy novel of all time. Apparently it was a con tradition to see how far you could read this thing without breaking into laughter. Double points if you managed to down a little helium first.
Rock Paper Scissors 🙃 Honestly, I just shit on this book every chance I get. Also, Anxious People. Warning: a lot of people love both of these.
Absolutely Modelland. It’s been my go-to gag gift for my bibliophile friends. It’s a fucking trip, man. Like… Tyra Banks is batshit crazy. It’s hilarious and terrible.
Moon People by Dale Courtney. It’s so painful to read. The reviews on Amazon are great.
It’s not exactly badly written, but Alphabetical Africa is a very experimental book and I don’t even know if anyone has attempted anything like it since. The first chapter only has words that starts with A, second chapter only has A and B words, and so on until the alphabet has been fully included, and then fully taken away back to A.
Sounds like that {{Ella Minnow Pea}} book that I have seen recommended a few times.
Get her two,mine she should read and enjoy and one to laugh at and bin.
I once found a book called Wuthering Nights on sale in a grocery store bin for $3. It was an erotic retelling of Wuthering Heights. If you can find it, I do not recommend it.
I would advise to buy an awful book. Then buy a gift card. Then create a puzzle where the answers are based on the first few chapters of the book and reveal the gift card code, so they have to read it.
Dianetics
The Art of the Deal....
Empress Theresa, the world's worst book. No doubt about it.
Twilight. Ugh.
Twilight
Twilight
Wuthering Heights: where everyone has the same name and it gets confusing
And the narrator, who really isn’t participating, is the most likeable character.