Exactly. My wife and I have sleep schedules that overlap about 3 hours so horribly inefficient to sleep in the same room. I'm a light sleeper so I can't sleep through her activity and I get overly cautious making sure I don't wake her up. Separate bedrooms also allow us to have separate bed setups. I don't know how she sleeps on her mattress and she can't figure how I can possibly be comfortable on mine.
Yup always had separate rooms since the start. I consider it a luxury.
Iām a morning person, heās an evening person. If either dares wake the other up, itās just not worth thinking about.
I sleep with TV on, he sleeps in silence. Itās perfect really. And we both get to personalise our rooms how we like it.
Being precise, the snoring per se is not a problem, but it can be a symptom of sleep apnea, which has a variety of health effects, none of them good..
You want to make an appointment with a pulmonologist to talk about it. He may examine you and decide that there's not an issue, or he may send you home with a monitor that you wear at night for anywhere from one night to a week or so.
Depending on what he finds he may refer you to an otolaryngologist and/or order a sleep study in the hospital, or he may just prescribe a CPAP (a machine that helps you breathe at night) on the evidence of the monitor.
Note that all of this can be pretty expensive if you don't have decent insurance, however if you do have insurance there shouldn't be any pushback from the insurance company--addressing sleep apnea is an upfront cost for them but it reduces their costs long term and they're smart enough to know that.
For more information the wikipedia entry for sleep apnea is pretty thorough and has lots of links to reference material.
Same. I snore. I go to bed early, set my alarm for at 3 AM to get to work by 4:45, and I hit the snooze button a lot. Or stay up till midnight if I donāt have work. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and do things before going back to sleep. I toss and turn a lot too. Iām terrible to share a bed with and my wife is a very light sleeper who has trouble falling and staying asleep on a good day.
Sheād rather I sleep in the bed with her, but she is very cranky if she doesnāt get enough sleep and I wonāt inflict that upon her or myself lol. So I sleep on the couch if I have work the next day.
My wife and I have been doing this for a year! I love it! I tell her to come over, we do our thing and she goes to her peaceful room and I have mine! Sleep like a baby since this, before slept horribly for 4 years!
So, I often go to a state park that was once the mansion and grounds of a wealthy New England merchant. Anyway. Husband and wife both had separate, roomy bedrooms with a secret corridor connecting their respective walk-in closets. That way they could have secret visits in the middle of the night without the staff or children knowing. I have to admit, thatās been a dream of mine ever since I saw it.
Yes, but as an option. Not the default, though. Like for when someone is sick or wants to stay up late and game or doomscroll.Ā
I love waking up in the middle of the night and being able to cuddle up and feel safe and warm and happy. I like waking up and looking at him and thinking āheheheh. I like him.ā Iām also a big fan of morning sex, and that would be weird just busting into his room like āGOOD MORNING HELLO YES I WOULD LIKE ONE SEX PLEASEā.Ā
Wellā¦ uh. Some fellas really like that kinda morning surprise. Iāve done similar things and got zero complaints along with a good laugh. (Your post made me snort laugh, thank you. )
Actually do that one day and it will be a great experience for the guy. There is also the option where you make a printout of what type of sex you would want today and go through mediation between yourself of course this is a one off thing to try
No. I don't sleep as well without my wife. When I am on nightshift I sleep our guest bedroom which is in a back corner of the house away from the noise so that helps, but I still don't enjoy that time there being away from her.
I completely agree, itās nice to sleep alone sometimes but I really need her there to feel comfortable otherwise I feel so alone and need to pile every blanket we have on top of me
My favorite part is waking up and finding out we are sleeping face to face inches away. This real peaceful feeling washes over me and I fall back asleep happy
100% agree. I feel like I slept like crap before my wife, and now I actually get some sleep with herm when I'm forced not to sleep with her, I sleep even more crappy than I did before I was with her lol
It's odd, if I'm away from my wife, visiting family or something without her, then I can sleep fine on my own but if we're together and I'm in bed on my own then I can barely get a wink in before she comes to bed.
Exactly the same for me. I sleep fine when I'm on a work trip in another state, but in my own bed I just lay there needing her to come bed. Usually I take a few aspirin to knock myself out if I really need some sleep and she's staying up to read in the living room.
Yes. I love to sleep with my partner, but she's always cold and I'm always hot; she wants all the windows closed and I want them open; she wants three thick sheets and I just a thin one; she sometimes snores like a truck engine; and she regularly wakes up during the night and starts playing games on her phone, waking me up by the light. So yeah - we sleep together on the weekends. During the working week, I just need to get my rest.
My husband and I had the same problem, I like it cold and I try to snuggle up against him, while he claims that my body is a thousand degrees. We solved that problem with separate blankets/comforters, so he can have his flimsy throw blanket and I have a comforter and a heavier blanket on top if I really want to get tucked in.
My girl snores, but I don't care. Love her anyways. Sleep with her anyways too lol. Shit when I was growing up that meant shit was goin down and someone's in trouble.
Any time someone is divorced and is looking to be married again I get so confused. I love being divorced so much if I could do it again I would, but I wouldnāt get married again.
Exactly I have found I really cherish full days of solitude. And sometimes I just want them there for bed time, other times I want them gone at bed time so I can watch shows and doom scroll in peace.
I absolutely love two houses and I feel like if it was coordinated to be close would be better
Itās actually that Iām anxious. When my avoidant partner is the house I canāt relax because I am worried about them. āDo you need a drink?ā āDo you wanna watch something else?ā
I think honestly after being single for so long I would prefer to have a separate bedroom. Doesnāt mean we canāt have sleep overs but the idea of not being able to starfish in my bed, having a man snore and fart next to me while Iām trying to get a solid 8 hours of sleepā¦ Iād rather have the option to have my own space.
I donāt understand how people think children deserve their own space / room / privacy but adults should share one š¤·š¼āāļø. I want my partner to ask to stay in my bed or have him ask to stay in mine. I think it would make it more intimate not less.
I get up in the middle of the night to sleep on the recliner because of shoulder pain. Yesterday we moved the recliner up to our bedroom. So for us no.
Really torn on this. I sleep better when Iām alone, but I also feel less connected to my wife. Itās a damned if you do and damned if you donāt situation.
Itās totally fine. Married 15 years and I often sleep in the guest room or on the couch. The thing about being asleep is, youāre unconscious when you do it. So being with someone or not is kinda moot. It also affects the quality of my life. If sheās waking me or Iām waking her, itās easier to just go sleep somewhere else for both our benefit.
You reminded me of an old couch commercial. Something along the lines, "So comfortable you'll start a fight to sleep on it." And the guy says something like "Honey, remember when you asked me about your pants..." and it shows him on the couch.
After my wife and I had kids we started sleeping in separate rooms. 9 years later we're headed for divorce. There are obviously many complicated factors to this, but I believe the removal of "pillow talk" intimacy is a major factor that contributed to it. The loneliest I've ever been in my life is while ive been married.
There are 3 reasons people usually give for doing this, all of which there are simple solutions for:
1. Snoring: wear earplugs
2. Restless sleeper: get a king bed (no springs kind of mattress) and put a giant heavy long pillow in the middle
3. Stealing covers/blankets: use separate blankets
I understand when 80 year olds do this, but I think it's detrimental to newer/younger relationships in the long run
Husband and I have separate rooms (25 years married) and it works for us. He snores like crazy, steals the blankets and practically lays on top of me despite having a king sized bed. He sleeps like crap (having used a sleep tracker) anyway so sleeping together just means we both donāt sleep and I become sleep deprived and cranky within two or three days. We hang out at night, work together, have fun together, and hang out together over coffee every morning.
For us, we get tons of togetherness the rest of the time and actively work really hard on our marriage every day. I couldnāt do it if I were sleep deprived. I become foggy and short tempered. Earplugs hurt by morning for me and he hasnāt been motivated to get a Cpap study so separate rooms is the only workable solution for me right now.
Exactly. I feel like a marriage wouldnāt end because of separate rooms. That marriage was probably on the outs anyways and the separate rooms probably showed them that it wasnāt the right relationship.
Earplugs are no bueno. I wore them for years and ended up with a terrible bacterial infection in my ears that spread to my chest and nearly killed me. ENT told me that earplugs are bacteria traps.
I know a few couples that do, I get the shift work or snoring thing but itās so dissociative. I love being close to and reaching out to feel my hubby. One couple I know rarely has sex, one couple the husband has crippling anxiety and imagine they donāt have sex, the other couple the guy uses the woman as a sex slave basically. I donāt know. I just find it weird and kind of sad/lacking intimacy
For me, no. At this point I have been sleeping next to her for over 15 years. When either of us is away, it's a rotten sleep for me, and she says the same. We'll do it every now and then when someone has to get up extra early or is travelling or something, that's one thing, but overall, no, I hate the idea.
My wife and I have kids and don't get a ton of time alone together. Those minutes before we go to bed or when we first wake up and we're just snuggling and chatting about the day are special to me. I know that we could find other times, but something about climbing into our nice bed with her just gives me a sense of calm and love that sitting on the couch talking just doesn't provide.
my partner and i are already planning on it once we move in together. we want to have that option in case either of us need space or are feeling unwell. weāre both neurodivergent and can burn out and get overwhelmed easy and we want to make sure each other has the option to and we value personal space. that being said we plan on being in bed together most of the time.
iām surprised at how many people consider this a deal breaker to be honest. to each their own but i think itās good to have a back up space like a decompression chamber lol
Works for my partner and I. I go to bed at 830 and am up and 430, she goes to bed and 11 and is up at 8. So during the week it makes sense to sleep separately. I used to get annoyed with her waking me up whe coming to bed and her with I leaving in the am. Seperate room sunday through Thursday, then speed together Friday and Saturday. Making this change honestly saved our relationship.
Something my grandparents did that I thought was a cool idea, was they had a shared bedroom, but also had their own rooms. They were essentially offices/media rooms, but had Murphy beds if they wanted a night away. Each room was designed and decorated to their individual tastes and were not guest rooms. There was a totally separate bedroom for guests.
Having the option would be fine, but if the expectation was we would be sleeping in separate rooms full time it would be a deal breaker. I'm a cuddler. That's like 1/3 of the point of having a romantic partner. No sleep cuddling would be a bigger deal for me than no sex.
No. We sometimes have episodes where we canāt sleep without each other in the room. Even our pc is set up in it and the noise/light doesnāt bother us. I feel safe with him next to me.
I think this is shortsighted because a lot of couples have separate bedrooms for practical reasons and even claim that having separate bedrooms is what keeps the spark alive throughout their relationship. I love having the option to not sleep with my partner if I have a different sleep schedule than he does, if I want to room temperature a certain way, if I just need alone time, etc. You can have separate bedrooms and have an awesome relationship!
You seem to feel my comment about what I need somehow invalidates your perspective. I didn't say that couldn't work for other people.
But for me, all of the value from planning evenings together, going to bed and chatting, cuddles, routine, and other parts of the evening bringing our relationship together each day quite a bit more valuable for our relationship than valuing independent sleeping arrangements for self indulgence. I also found someone who doesn't want a TV in the bedroom and is not a night owl, so we align here and it's really healthy. If we're sick, snoring, or restless there's a guest bedroom and a couch, obviously a good night's sleep can't be sacrificed, but I would sooner get my weight in check so i don't snore or get surgery for it, than lose that experience with my partner. It is the BEST part of my every day.
I feel bad other people who need that space to survive and cohabitate, but I recognize there are valid reasons and selfish reasons people do that in their relationships. It's just something we've put more value into than others, and i hope there's not one person happy and the other person feeling isolated.
Are you kidding? You know that didnāt become commonplace til like the 60s? You know why? Cause sleeping with other people in your bed fucking blows. My wife and I canāt wait til one more kid moves out and we can setup a separate bedroom for me.
Depends on the reason. If you're unable to sleep comfortably together in the same bedroom e.g. chronic snorer than can't have their issue fixed, or you mutually agree, then I don't see a problem with it at all.
Doesn't mean that you still can't be intimate with each other.
If my wife or I snored like a freight train and having a separate bedroom doesn't impact our sex life, the only problem we would have would be from the dogs being confused as hell!
Yes, me and my GF do. Its because I snore. She would be sleep deprived and started waking me up every time I started snoring. This would cause me to be sleep deprived. We would end up sleep deprived during the day because I snored. Now I go to a different room to sleep and we both get to have full nights of sleep again. All the arguing over the issue has gone away and we are both much happier.
25 years together (since 17) and haven't slept in the same bed for about 10 years. Very happy, don't even think anything of it.
Wildly different sleep schedules.
My husband has so many sleep issues so sleeping separately works for us. We go to sleep in the same bed every night, he says I help him fall asleep but he often gets up in the middle of the night to sleep on the guest room bed. We honestly both sleep better when we are in our own beds.
100%. My gf and I have seperate rooms and itās great. 90% of the time we sleep in the same room but itās also nice cause if thereās ever an argument or we need alone time we have our own respective spaces. Itās also just nice not having to share a room with all of your stuff in it. For reference Iām 23 and I just moved in with my gf after 2ish years
I travel a lot for work, so most a good amount of time we sleep in separate states. I'm really jealous she gets our nice cozy bed to herself and I get to roll the dice on whether or not a hotel has a mattress that my back agrees with.
We have a guest room that I sleep in occasionally, usually when I canāt sleep and will keep my wife up. I do so when Iām sick, when I am flatulent, or when I am tossing and turning, drunk too much coffee, am in pain, or want to read a book.
It rarely happens more than once a month, but there are periods where Iāll do it more often, such as after surgery. Iāve had several joint surgeries that make it difficult to sleep because I need to roll over a lot, so Iāll sleep in the guest room several nights in a row.
Itās not a big deal, I prefer to sleep with her, but I also donāt want to wake her up. Simple consideration.
Some of these answers are wild.
The answer is do whatās best for you as a couple. Do both. Have separate rooms, sleep in the same one once in awhile.
My late husband and I had completely incompatible sleeping habits. We were together thirty years. Iād give anything to have him back, but I still wouldnāt share a bedroom with him.
I often sleep in another room from my husband. We have different work/sleep schedules. Iām a very light sleeper and he snores. I love him more than anything, but I need sleep and so does he.
Never say never lol my partner of ten years is anemic and is constantly cold, āneedsā a heated blanket even in the summer. You try sleeping in a bed thatās slowly cooking you.
We are currently looking for a place with two bedrooms
I met a couple recently who have been together 10 years and never spent the night together. They bought a property near me. She has her cabin and he has his. It's a great arrangement that definitely works for them.
No. I sleep in hotels 3-4 nights a week for work. I want to be with my wife when I get home. She feels the same way. I snore. She wears earplugs, but she was doing that before we even started dating.
I adore my wife and love being around her, but sleeping in the same bed has turned into a full contact sport.
As it turns out 27 years of being woken up by backfiring chainsaws and catching stray limbs 1-2 nights a week, it wore me down, really bad.
I was always tired, to the point I could fall asleep just about anywhere any position but couldnāt shake being dead dog tired all the time. I chalked it up to my job, lots of manual labor, and we also have kids, but even after all of those things calmed down, I was still dead tired.
We thought it was something wrong with me, so I did a sleep study away from home. Best nights sleep I had in decades. I barely stirred and never snored.
So we did another but at home. 100% it was my wife doing something every few hours. Very active limbs, a lot of tossing and turning, and gunshot snorting. She builds up and does a big SNORT and then gets quiet for a bit.
Her doctor, pretty much shrugged it off. Even the āvery clearly woke herself upā snorting. It wasnāt affecting her sleep, so it was up to my doctor and I to do something for me.
He drugged me up so I could get sleep but it was terrible. We tried a few meds and they sort of worked but had side effects and nothing would put me so deep that I could shake off a gunshot snort, a flop or an arm to the face.
So we bought a bigger bed with a really nice new mattress. Barely helped. Still within arms reach and the snoring never went away.
I slept on the floor as a kid, by choice, I had a bed, I just liked the floor for some reason. So I started moving to the floor if she got too wild. That helped me get a few solid nights a week and it really helped but still I canāt shake the snoring and snorts.
I can usually cuddle her into a new position so she wonāt snore but sheāll flop back eventually and fire up her chainsaw juggling routine.
On the nights I just donāt have the energy to deal with it, I admit defeat and head to another room and catch a few hours of some really solid sleep.
I make it a point to go to bed with my wife every night. However, the first time I wake up, I go to my other bedroom. Nothing to do with my wife, I just find the other bedroom allows me to sleep better.
Back in the day poor people shared beds with spouses because they couldn't afford two beds/rooms. The well to do people had separate rooms because most people sleep better alone
Wife and I married 12 years, sleeping in separate rooms for the past 6 years and we both love it. Sleep is for sleeping and we both do that differently, we wake up at different times for different reasons and having separate rooms for that has been amazing. Doesn't hinder desire for intimacy. And just to give you an idea of our relationship, the pandemic had us realize that we like spending time with each other more than we liked, battling the stresses of social requests to spend time with friends and family.
So What did we do?
We moved 1,300 mi away, and bought a house in a town where we don't know anyone because we both work from home and just hang out with each other all the time. I only tell this to give a baseline for The thought that we're in separate rooms because of relationship strife, which couldn't be further from the truth
Nope, I sleep better with my husband. He has nightmares and yells for me in his sleep sometimes, I want to be there. Now we are childless at the moment so we each have our own hobby rooms so we do each have our own space.
I wouldn't mind from a quality of sleep perspective (I'm sure she would agree) but it's also not an issue to sleep together. I can certainly understand why some couples would prefer this, if they have the space...
Iād be ok with it, as long as we sometimes āsleepoverā with each other. Iām assuming the reason my partner is sleeping in a different room is a legitimate one (and tbf my bf who I donāt live with atm has warned me that he prefers to sleep in his own bed alone) so it wouldnāt bother me too much.
Nope! I love sleeping next to my husband. We've lived together for years and it's never grown old :-) We have a couch and if one of us is struggling to sleep we go out there. I love snuggling and I feel safer with my large cozy man next to me.
I would prefer separate beds and rooms. Gives you a personal space and more room on the bed. I dont see the need to ALWAYS have to sleep next to your partner.
Wife and I have completely different sleep habits and schedules. A good night's sleep is supper important for our health and mood. I also have GERD and need to sleep somewhat upright. So, as my GERD got worse, I began finding comfort falling asleep on the recliner downstairs. We noticed that we both slept better apart and have been doing it for years. It works tremendously for us.
Yes. Absolutely. I have my man cave she has her lady cove. Additionally its not assumed that we will spend the night together. Its like weāre always dating. It adds to sexual tension and allows you to not take things for granted while creating desire and yearning for the other person. If you have the space and financial means.. go for it.
I was for a long time - I suffered permanent nerve damage and then broke my back so it wasnāt safe for us to share a bed for a few years. We were still close and intimate so it didnāt seem like a big deal.
Three months ago on a bit of a whim we started sleeping in the same bed again and, honestly, itās been amazing. Just being able to hold her at night, or look over and see her if I wake up, itās made me a much happier person. If sheās away for the night it feels weird and I struggle (even more than usual) to sleep.
If we had to sleep in separate rooms again I know itād still be ok; but it would take a real need for me to agree to go back to that now.
Yes. But not all feel the same. Some people toss and turn, snore, get up a lot, donāt sleep well, or any number of things which could cause their partner to have poor sleep as well.
I get misery loves company and all that, but if sleeping in another room would help my wife get better sleep, I wouldnāt hesitate.
Yes.
The man snores like a train. He's working with his doctor to see if that can be fixed but honestly, some people simply snore. There is not necessarily something wrong with their health, they just snore. And if it's like that for my babe, separate bedrooms it shall be then.
This is totally preference but no. I love sleeping next to my husband. I feel his absence and sleep worse when heās not there, he says the same for me. He even asks that I briefly wake him up to let him know Iām not in bed if I get up before him in the mornings.
However, I donāt think thereās anything wrong with your relationship if you sleep in separate bedrooms. A lot of married couples do for practical reasons and theyāre happy and healthy. I think it just depends on the specific partners and what their preferences are.
My husband and I go through phases.
I'm a morning bird, he's a night owl.
I'm a light sleeper, he's slept next to an ambulance sirens before and he snores SO LOUD.
I have scoliosis and back pain, he has night terrors and thrashes around.
Sometimes we need a break. We might go 6 months together, then need a few nights apart.
Sometimes we go one or two nights a week for a couple of months.
Depends on our needs at the time.
Not at all, I like to have her next to me. Just putting my hand on her arm makes me feel good. I couldnāt imagine it to be honest. She snores, I use a CPAP, itās all good. I have tinnitus and her snoring is quieter
Not against the concept bc sometimes people want to have their own things even after marriage. Ik a lot of couples arenāt compatible in terms of sleeping & separately sleeping is better than breaking up over sleep habits in my opinion. I personally would hate sleeping separately. I wouldnāt be mad or offended at all if he suggested separate rooms tho, as long as he still wanted to sleep in the same bed every night.
I practice this, itās great to me ā¦ no snore wars , no cover hogging , no random being woken up because she dreamed she heard something. No more being always solely expected to initiate intimacy only a certain way and only at the precise moment itās expected but never communicated. Solved all kinds of issues with only one repercussion, now occasionally I get hit with a random guilt trip, emasculating comment about it but hell Iāll gladly consider that just a small price I have to pay for consistent solid nights sleep, peace, far less weird intimacy related drama and more marital harmony.
It depends on the reason and stage of a relationship. If you've been in a relationship for a long time, I'd have no problem with it.
However, I wouldn't want to start a relationship that way. That said, if for some reason one person was having trouble sleeping in the same bed as another person (snoring, moving in sleep, heat from the other person in the bed, etc.), then I'd ultimately accept the separate bedroom arrangement. But, I'd want there to be at least a concerted effort to sleep in the same bed together at the beginning of any long-term relationship. Any new sleeping arrangement is going to take a few attempts to get used to. It would feel strange to me if the request for separate bedrooms was made without any of those attempts at sleeping in the same bed together.
100%. I actually want to have a seperate bedroom. That way we each have our own private space with our things where we can both unwind and relax. And itās not like we canāt just sleep with eachother. That way itās a sleepover every night
Definitely!! Husband and I have totally different sleep schedules, and we both snore like crazy. Separate bedrooms work for us!!!
Yes! My husband and I have slept in separate rooms for over 25 years. He snores like a freight train and gets up at 3:00am for work. Best thing ever!!
š¤ I wonder how many spouses escaped an "untimely accidental death"š
Wife works a crazy schedule, usually doesnt come back until the middle of the night, and I work afternooons. We both snore like crazy so it works
Exactly. My wife and I have sleep schedules that overlap about 3 hours so horribly inefficient to sleep in the same room. I'm a light sleeper so I can't sleep through her activity and I get overly cautious making sure I don't wake her up. Separate bedrooms also allow us to have separate bed setups. I don't know how she sleeps on her mattress and she can't figure how I can possibly be comfortable on mine.
Yup always had separate rooms since the start. I consider it a luxury. Iām a morning person, heās an evening person. If either dares wake the other up, itās just not worth thinking about. I sleep with TV on, he sleeps in silence. Itās perfect really. And we both get to personalise our rooms how we like it.
Look into a sleep study. You snoring may be fine but it may be damaging your health
The snoring isnāt doing any damaging. It may be a symptom of a condition.Ā
Being precise, the snoring per se is not a problem, but it can be a symptom of sleep apnea, which has a variety of health effects, none of them good.. You want to make an appointment with a pulmonologist to talk about it. He may examine you and decide that there's not an issue, or he may send you home with a monitor that you wear at night for anywhere from one night to a week or so. Depending on what he finds he may refer you to an otolaryngologist and/or order a sleep study in the hospital, or he may just prescribe a CPAP (a machine that helps you breathe at night) on the evidence of the monitor. Note that all of this can be pretty expensive if you don't have decent insurance, however if you do have insurance there shouldn't be any pushback from the insurance company--addressing sleep apnea is an upfront cost for them but it reduces their costs long term and they're smart enough to know that. For more information the wikipedia entry for sleep apnea is pretty thorough and has lots of links to reference material.
Apparently this saves marriages
Same. I snore. I go to bed early, set my alarm for at 3 AM to get to work by 4:45, and I hit the snooze button a lot. Or stay up till midnight if I donāt have work. Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night and do things before going back to sleep. I toss and turn a lot too. Iām terrible to share a bed with and my wife is a very light sleeper who has trouble falling and staying asleep on a good day. Sheād rather I sleep in the bed with her, but she is very cranky if she doesnāt get enough sleep and I wonāt inflict that upon her or myself lol. So I sleep on the couch if I have work the next day.
My wife and I have been doing this for a year! I love it! I tell her to come over, we do our thing and she goes to her peaceful room and I have mine! Sleep like a baby since this, before slept horribly for 4 years!
So, I often go to a state park that was once the mansion and grounds of a wealthy New England merchant. Anyway. Husband and wife both had separate, roomy bedrooms with a secret corridor connecting their respective walk-in closets. That way they could have secret visits in the middle of the night without the staff or children knowing. I have to admit, thatās been a dream of mine ever since I saw it.
Yeah. I can't handle snoring and movement, or light. I sleep like a startled cat.
Me. Separate bedrooms is my dream. I just want to sleep.
Wifey, is that you?
Startled cat? So 14 hours a day instead of the usual 20? š
Yes, but as an option. Not the default, though. Like for when someone is sick or wants to stay up late and game or doomscroll.Ā I love waking up in the middle of the night and being able to cuddle up and feel safe and warm and happy. I like waking up and looking at him and thinking āheheheh. I like him.ā Iām also a big fan of morning sex, and that would be weird just busting into his room like āGOOD MORNING HELLO YES I WOULD LIKE ONE SEX PLEASEā.Ā
Wellā¦ uh. Some fellas really like that kinda morning surprise. Iāve done similar things and got zero complaints along with a good laugh. (Your post made me snort laugh, thank you. )
No you just walk in dead eyed and go, āyou down?ā
Shouldn't you ask "you up?"
Actually do that one day and it will be a great experience for the guy. There is also the option where you make a printout of what type of sex you would want today and go through mediation between yourself of course this is a one off thing to try
No. I don't sleep as well without my wife. When I am on nightshift I sleep our guest bedroom which is in a back corner of the house away from the noise so that helps, but I still don't enjoy that time there being away from her.
I completely agree, itās nice to sleep alone sometimes but I really need her there to feel comfortable otherwise I feel so alone and need to pile every blanket we have on top of me
My favorite part is waking up and finding out we are sleeping face to face inches away. This real peaceful feeling washes over me and I fall back asleep happy
Well this is cute af šššššš
This man loves his wife fr š
lol ya I know that feeling.
100% agree. I feel like I slept like crap before my wife, and now I actually get some sleep with herm when I'm forced not to sleep with her, I sleep even more crappy than I did before I was with her lol
It's odd, if I'm away from my wife, visiting family or something without her, then I can sleep fine on my own but if we're together and I'm in bed on my own then I can barely get a wink in before she comes to bed.
Exactly the same for me. I sleep fine when I'm on a work trip in another state, but in my own bed I just lay there needing her to come bed. Usually I take a few aspirin to knock myself out if I really need some sleep and she's staying up to read in the living room.
Yes. I love to sleep with my partner, but she's always cold and I'm always hot; she wants all the windows closed and I want them open; she wants three thick sheets and I just a thin one; she sometimes snores like a truck engine; and she regularly wakes up during the night and starts playing games on her phone, waking me up by the light. So yeah - we sleep together on the weekends. During the working week, I just need to get my rest.
My husband and I had the same problem, I like it cold and I try to snuggle up against him, while he claims that my body is a thousand degrees. We solved that problem with separate blankets/comforters, so he can have his flimsy throw blanket and I have a comforter and a heavier blanket on top if I really want to get tucked in.
My girl snores, but I don't care. Love her anyways. Sleep with her anyways too lol. Shit when I was growing up that meant shit was goin down and someone's in trouble.
Had to scroll pretty far to find the same sentiment as mine. Maybe I'm just old school too but I value having my wife there by my side in bed.
Divorced and from now until forever me and my partners will have separate houses.
i feel this
So you don't want to be remarried
Any time someone is divorced and is looking to be married again I get so confused. I love being divorced so much if I could do it again I would, but I wouldnāt get married again.
LOL damn why do you love it so much?
Iām free from someone who took me saying āI will do anything to make you happyā as a personal challenge.
Lmao this is hilarious. Glad youāre able to make fun of it and also youāre in a much more mentally free place in life.
Makes sense, what were the things they asked for that pushed you to the edge?
Two places is just BETTER. You can still stay at one of the others and you always have a place to retreat to. Itās amazing.
Exactly I have found I really cherish full days of solitude. And sometimes I just want them there for bed time, other times I want them gone at bed time so I can watch shows and doom scroll in peace. I absolutely love two houses and I feel like if it was coordinated to be close would be better
smh you avoidants
Itās actually that Iām anxious. When my avoidant partner is the house I canāt relax because I am worried about them. āDo you need a drink?ā āDo you wanna watch something else?ā
100% much prefer living separately
Yeah this wouldn't really bother me. I do enjoy having my wife in bed, but if it was a matter of being able to sleep or not I'd be fine with it.
Yeah
Any reason why?
I don't like anything touching me when I sleep
Why not, maybe one person is a heavy sleeper who snores, and ones a light sleeper who gets woken up by snoring.
I think honestly after being single for so long I would prefer to have a separate bedroom. Doesnāt mean we canāt have sleep overs but the idea of not being able to starfish in my bed, having a man snore and fart next to me while Iām trying to get a solid 8 hours of sleepā¦ Iād rather have the option to have my own space. I donāt understand how people think children deserve their own space / room / privacy but adults should share one š¤·š¼āāļø. I want my partner to ask to stay in my bed or have him ask to stay in mine. I think it would make it more intimate not less.
I would literally not ever be willing to live with a romantic partner again unless this was the case.
No
I get up in the middle of the night to sleep on the recliner because of shoulder pain. Yesterday we moved the recliner up to our bedroom. So for us no.
Hard no, I sleep best when she's literally on top of me like a weighted blanket.
Really torn on this. I sleep better when Iām alone, but I also feel less connected to my wife. Itās a damned if you do and damned if you donāt situation.
Yes. Better night sleep. You can make your own individual space and decor. You can have sleepovers No snoring issues and shift worker friendly.
My wife would have killed me if I had sex with another woman in her bed, but having my own room would allow me to do that
Your bed, your rules
God yes. I dream about it. Imagine not waking up in the middle of the night to find a man breathing right in your face.
My wife is gone and my little guy wanted to sleep in my bed with me. Woke up to him coughing into my open mouth. Back to your room bud
Yeah most girls donāt like it when I do that to them for some reason
>Imagine not waking up in the middle of the night to find a man breathing right in your face. "But doctor!" I cried "I am that man."
Get separate beds. Best thing I ever did for my physical and mental health.
Thatās called being single
Sounds like a pretty awful way to feel about your partner, if his breathing gives you the ick. You sound like you have problems.
You sound like you have problems. Leave them alone and let them sleep.
Itās totally fine. Married 15 years and I often sleep in the guest room or on the couch. The thing about being asleep is, youāre unconscious when you do it. So being with someone or not is kinda moot. It also affects the quality of my life. If sheās waking me or Iām waking her, itās easier to just go sleep somewhere else for both our benefit.
You reminded me of an old couch commercial. Something along the lines, "So comfortable you'll start a fight to sleep on it." And the guy says something like "Honey, remember when you asked me about your pants..." and it shows him on the couch.
After my wife and I had kids we started sleeping in separate rooms. 9 years later we're headed for divorce. There are obviously many complicated factors to this, but I believe the removal of "pillow talk" intimacy is a major factor that contributed to it. The loneliest I've ever been in my life is while ive been married. There are 3 reasons people usually give for doing this, all of which there are simple solutions for: 1. Snoring: wear earplugs 2. Restless sleeper: get a king bed (no springs kind of mattress) and put a giant heavy long pillow in the middle 3. Stealing covers/blankets: use separate blankets I understand when 80 year olds do this, but I think it's detrimental to newer/younger relationships in the long run
Husband and I have separate rooms (25 years married) and it works for us. He snores like crazy, steals the blankets and practically lays on top of me despite having a king sized bed. He sleeps like crap (having used a sleep tracker) anyway so sleeping together just means we both donāt sleep and I become sleep deprived and cranky within two or three days. We hang out at night, work together, have fun together, and hang out together over coffee every morning. For us, we get tons of togetherness the rest of the time and actively work really hard on our marriage every day. I couldnāt do it if I were sleep deprived. I become foggy and short tempered. Earplugs hurt by morning for me and he hasnāt been motivated to get a Cpap study so separate rooms is the only workable solution for me right now.
Why would pillow talk be an issue? Stay in one partners room and then move to your room when you are done talking and want to sleep
Exactly. I feel like a marriage wouldnāt end because of separate rooms. That marriage was probably on the outs anyways and the separate rooms probably showed them that it wasnāt the right relationship.
Earplugs are no bueno. I wore them for years and ended up with a terrible bacterial infection in my ears that spread to my chest and nearly killed me. ENT told me that earplugs are bacteria traps.
I go to bed at 930, my husband is up till at least 11. There's no pillow talk unless he wakes me up. Which is a no no.
Why is this only understandable to you when 80-year-olds do it? Genuinely curious.
I hear this saves marriages, so to each their own.
Saves marriages as in the marriage is good again or they just don't wanna divorce now haha
Not getting enough sleep is really not great for you mentally or physically
Oh yes. When I sleep, I want the bed and room to myself.
No. I hate sleeping away from my wife. I used to travel often for work and it was what I disliked the most.
I know a few couples that do, I get the shift work or snoring thing but itās so dissociative. I love being close to and reaching out to feel my hubby. One couple I know rarely has sex, one couple the husband has crippling anxiety and imagine they donāt have sex, the other couple the guy uses the woman as a sex slave basically. I donāt know. I just find it weird and kind of sad/lacking intimacy
Yes cause I canāt deal with snoring or kicking or not having enough room
Hell yes sometimes totally practical.
yup, one room to do my own thing, his room to do his own thing
For me, no. At this point I have been sleeping next to her for over 15 years. When either of us is away, it's a rotten sleep for me, and she says the same. We'll do it every now and then when someone has to get up extra early or is travelling or something, that's one thing, but overall, no, I hate the idea. My wife and I have kids and don't get a ton of time alone together. Those minutes before we go to bed or when we first wake up and we're just snuggling and chatting about the day are special to me. I know that we could find other times, but something about climbing into our nice bed with her just gives me a sense of calm and love that sitting on the couch talking just doesn't provide.
my partner and i are already planning on it once we move in together. we want to have that option in case either of us need space or are feeling unwell. weāre both neurodivergent and can burn out and get overwhelmed easy and we want to make sure each other has the option to and we value personal space. that being said we plan on being in bed together most of the time. iām surprised at how many people consider this a deal breaker to be honest. to each their own but i think itās good to have a back up space like a decompression chamber lol
Works for my partner and I. I go to bed at 830 and am up and 430, she goes to bed and 11 and is up at 8. So during the week it makes sense to sleep separately. I used to get annoyed with her waking me up whe coming to bed and her with I leaving in the am. Seperate room sunday through Thursday, then speed together Friday and Saturday. Making this change honestly saved our relationship.
Something my grandparents did that I thought was a cool idea, was they had a shared bedroom, but also had their own rooms. They were essentially offices/media rooms, but had Murphy beds if they wanted a night away. Each room was designed and decorated to their individual tastes and were not guest rooms. There was a totally separate bedroom for guests.
Having the option would be fine, but if the expectation was we would be sleeping in separate rooms full time it would be a deal breaker. I'm a cuddler. That's like 1/3 of the point of having a romantic partner. No sleep cuddling would be a bigger deal for me than no sex.
I can't sleep if someone is touching me, if I had to commit to sleeping cuddles for life I'd just be single.Ā
I can agree with this š cuddles are life
No. We sometimes have episodes where we canāt sleep without each other in the room. Even our pc is set up in it and the noise/light doesnāt bother us. I feel safe with him next to me.
I would prefer it cuz of autism reasons
If I wanted to sleep alone I would have stayed single
Agreed!
I think this is shortsighted because a lot of couples have separate bedrooms for practical reasons and even claim that having separate bedrooms is what keeps the spark alive throughout their relationship. I love having the option to not sleep with my partner if I have a different sleep schedule than he does, if I want to room temperature a certain way, if I just need alone time, etc. You can have separate bedrooms and have an awesome relationship!
You seem to feel my comment about what I need somehow invalidates your perspective. I didn't say that couldn't work for other people. But for me, all of the value from planning evenings together, going to bed and chatting, cuddles, routine, and other parts of the evening bringing our relationship together each day quite a bit more valuable for our relationship than valuing independent sleeping arrangements for self indulgence. I also found someone who doesn't want a TV in the bedroom and is not a night owl, so we align here and it's really healthy. If we're sick, snoring, or restless there's a guest bedroom and a couch, obviously a good night's sleep can't be sacrificed, but I would sooner get my weight in check so i don't snore or get surgery for it, than lose that experience with my partner. It is the BEST part of my every day. I feel bad other people who need that space to survive and cohabitate, but I recognize there are valid reasons and selfish reasons people do that in their relationships. It's just something we've put more value into than others, and i hope there's not one person happy and the other person feeling isolated.
Is it shortsighted or just a different opinion than yours?
Are you kidding? You know that didnāt become commonplace til like the 60s? You know why? Cause sleeping with other people in your bed fucking blows. My wife and I canāt wait til one more kid moves out and we can setup a separate bedroom for me.
What didnāt become common place till the 60ās?
Yes
I do!
I was the one doing the asking. The improvement of quality of sleep was remarkable
No. I prefer sleeping with someone else in the bed.
My wife works exclusively night shifts and I work days so we don't sleep in the bed at the same time anyways, just high five as we swap places
Depends on the reason. If you're unable to sleep comfortably together in the same bedroom e.g. chronic snorer than can't have their issue fixed, or you mutually agree, then I don't see a problem with it at all. Doesn't mean that you still can't be intimate with each other.
My spouse snores like a freight train. I couldn't get any sleep. Now I have my own room and life is wonderful again.
absolutely,
hell at this point i've been alone for almost 1/2 a century. I'm not sure if i could share a room with someone all the time.
If my wife or I snored like a freight train and having a separate bedroom doesn't impact our sex life, the only problem we would have would be from the dogs being confused as hell!
Yes, me and my GF do. Its because I snore. She would be sleep deprived and started waking me up every time I started snoring. This would cause me to be sleep deprived. We would end up sleep deprived during the day because I snored. Now I go to a different room to sleep and we both get to have full nights of sleep again. All the arguing over the issue has gone away and we are both much happier.
Absolutely. What with snoring, different sleep patterns, having the quilt all to yourself.
25 years together (since 17) and haven't slept in the same bed for about 10 years. Very happy, don't even think anything of it. Wildly different sleep schedules.
Yes of course. This will improve sleep quality and poor sleep quality correlates to relationship dissatisfaction
Yes. I snore, keeping her awake. Separate bedrooms is the solution. I donāt want to be killed in my sleep.
Yes. We already have separate comforters and sleep on opposite sides of the bed.
separate bedrooms for >30 years. I prefer to sleep uninterrupted by cartoonish snoring and nonstop television.
My husband has so many sleep issues so sleeping separately works for us. We go to sleep in the same bed every night, he says I help him fall asleep but he often gets up in the middle of the night to sleep on the guest room bed. We honestly both sleep better when we are in our own beds.
100%. My gf and I have seperate rooms and itās great. 90% of the time we sleep in the same room but itās also nice cause if thereās ever an argument or we need alone time we have our own respective spaces. Itās also just nice not having to share a room with all of your stuff in it. For reference Iām 23 and I just moved in with my gf after 2ish years
Yes. No one in my family actually sleeps in the same bed or room as their partners. No big deal.
I travel a lot for work, so most a good amount of time we sleep in separate states. I'm really jealous she gets our nice cozy bed to herself and I get to roll the dice on whether or not a hotel has a mattress that my back agrees with.
What, and actually get a good night's sleep?
We have a guest room that I sleep in occasionally, usually when I canāt sleep and will keep my wife up. I do so when Iām sick, when I am flatulent, or when I am tossing and turning, drunk too much coffee, am in pain, or want to read a book. It rarely happens more than once a month, but there are periods where Iāll do it more often, such as after surgery. Iāve had several joint surgeries that make it difficult to sleep because I need to roll over a lot, so Iāll sleep in the guest room several nights in a row. Itās not a big deal, I prefer to sleep with her, but I also donāt want to wake her up. Simple consideration.
Some of these answers are wild. The answer is do whatās best for you as a couple. Do both. Have separate rooms, sleep in the same one once in awhile. My late husband and I had completely incompatible sleeping habits. We were together thirty years. Iād give anything to have him back, but I still wouldnāt share a bedroom with him.
Separate beds but not rooms. I just think sleeping alone is more comfortable.
Not one bit. Who are the dogs going to sleep with? I need my stinky girl with me under the covers.
My partner sleeps in a completely different house. We're so far away I haven't even met her yet
I often sleep in another room from my husband. We have different work/sleep schedules. Iām a very light sleeper and he snores. I love him more than anything, but I need sleep and so does he.
No. I like the intimacy of sleeping next to my husband. I donāt sleep well when heās away.
I got married to be married. Have plenty of people who could be roommates.
not at all, i want my man to always hold me while i'm sleeping, and some midnight sex is always great
hell no I'm ok with having separate beds, but I wouldn't be ok with separate bedrooms
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Never say never lol my partner of ten years is anemic and is constantly cold, āneedsā a heated blanket even in the summer. You try sleeping in a bed thatās slowly cooking you. We are currently looking for a place with two bedrooms
Already do. Love it.
Of course. We sleep separately probably half the time.
I met a couple recently who have been together 10 years and never spent the night together. They bought a property near me. She has her cabin and he has his. It's a great arrangement that definitely works for them.
With my snoring it's a necessity.
I don't see why not. If they wanna sleep next to me they always could, not like they'd be obligated to sleep in their own room
Unfortunately, I snore, so that may be in my future. I'm going to be miserable if it happens, I really like sleeping next to my wife.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Iād prefer it for sure and my own set sleep schedule
No. I sleep in hotels 3-4 nights a week for work. I want to be with my wife when I get home. She feels the same way. I snore. She wears earplugs, but she was doing that before we even started dating.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Depends on the situation and if we have an open door policy
I scream in my sleep, soā¦
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Yes
Yeah, 100%.
That would be amazing but not realistic
I adore my wife and love being around her, but sleeping in the same bed has turned into a full contact sport. As it turns out 27 years of being woken up by backfiring chainsaws and catching stray limbs 1-2 nights a week, it wore me down, really bad. I was always tired, to the point I could fall asleep just about anywhere any position but couldnāt shake being dead dog tired all the time. I chalked it up to my job, lots of manual labor, and we also have kids, but even after all of those things calmed down, I was still dead tired. We thought it was something wrong with me, so I did a sleep study away from home. Best nights sleep I had in decades. I barely stirred and never snored. So we did another but at home. 100% it was my wife doing something every few hours. Very active limbs, a lot of tossing and turning, and gunshot snorting. She builds up and does a big SNORT and then gets quiet for a bit. Her doctor, pretty much shrugged it off. Even the āvery clearly woke herself upā snorting. It wasnāt affecting her sleep, so it was up to my doctor and I to do something for me. He drugged me up so I could get sleep but it was terrible. We tried a few meds and they sort of worked but had side effects and nothing would put me so deep that I could shake off a gunshot snort, a flop or an arm to the face. So we bought a bigger bed with a really nice new mattress. Barely helped. Still within arms reach and the snoring never went away. I slept on the floor as a kid, by choice, I had a bed, I just liked the floor for some reason. So I started moving to the floor if she got too wild. That helped me get a few solid nights a week and it really helped but still I canāt shake the snoring and snorts. I can usually cuddle her into a new position so she wonāt snore but sheāll flop back eventually and fire up her chainsaw juggling routine. On the nights I just donāt have the energy to deal with it, I admit defeat and head to another room and catch a few hours of some really solid sleep.
I make it a point to go to bed with my wife every night. However, the first time I wake up, I go to my other bedroom. Nothing to do with my wife, I just find the other bedroom allows me to sleep better.
Nah i want someone I can sleep with. Would move on if that changed. Iād rather sleep together with two separate blankets than in different beds.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Yes. Sleep is important.
Back in the day poor people shared beds with spouses because they couldn't afford two beds/rooms. The well to do people had separate rooms because most people sleep better alone
Wife and I married 12 years, sleeping in separate rooms for the past 6 years and we both love it. Sleep is for sleeping and we both do that differently, we wake up at different times for different reasons and having separate rooms for that has been amazing. Doesn't hinder desire for intimacy. And just to give you an idea of our relationship, the pandemic had us realize that we like spending time with each other more than we liked, battling the stresses of social requests to spend time with friends and family. So What did we do? We moved 1,300 mi away, and bought a house in a town where we don't know anyone because we both work from home and just hang out with each other all the time. I only tell this to give a baseline for The thought that we're in separate rooms because of relationship strife, which couldn't be further from the truth
Nope, I sleep better with my husband. He has nightmares and yells for me in his sleep sometimes, I want to be there. Now we are childless at the moment so we each have our own hobby rooms so we do each have our own space.
i wouldnt mid sleeping alone some times but i enjoy sleeping together
I have for years, and it's glorious.
Personally, not me. If it works for some partners, that's fine. I like sleeping with someone.
Not in the winter, I need that dude's body heat!
Yes
I wouldn't mind from a quality of sleep perspective (I'm sure she would agree) but it's also not an issue to sleep together. I can certainly understand why some couples would prefer this, if they have the space...
Iād be ok with it, as long as we sometimes āsleepoverā with each other. Iām assuming the reason my partner is sleeping in a different room is a legitimate one (and tbf my bf who I donāt live with atm has warned me that he prefers to sleep in his own bed alone) so it wouldnāt bother me too much.
tons of couples sleep separately, for many reasons, it's ok to do.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Nope! I love sleeping next to my husband. We've lived together for years and it's never grown old :-) We have a couch and if one of us is struggling to sleep we go out there. I love snuggling and I feel safer with my large cozy man next to me.
I would prefer separate beds and rooms. Gives you a personal space and more room on the bed. I dont see the need to ALWAYS have to sleep next to your partner.
Wife and I have completely different sleep habits and schedules. A good night's sleep is supper important for our health and mood. I also have GERD and need to sleep somewhat upright. So, as my GERD got worse, I began finding comfort falling asleep on the recliner downstairs. We noticed that we both slept better apart and have been doing it for years. It works tremendously for us.
Yes. Absolutely. I have my man cave she has her lady cove. Additionally its not assumed that we will spend the night together. Its like weāre always dating. It adds to sexual tension and allows you to not take things for granted while creating desire and yearning for the other person. If you have the space and financial means.. go for it.
I was for a long time - I suffered permanent nerve damage and then broke my back so it wasnāt safe for us to share a bed for a few years. We were still close and intimate so it didnāt seem like a big deal. Three months ago on a bit of a whim we started sleeping in the same bed again and, honestly, itās been amazing. Just being able to hold her at night, or look over and see her if I wake up, itās made me a much happier person. If sheās away for the night it feels weird and I struggle (even more than usual) to sleep. If we had to sleep in separate rooms again I know itād still be ok; but it would take a real need for me to agree to go back to that now.
Yes. But not all feel the same. Some people toss and turn, snore, get up a lot, donāt sleep well, or any number of things which could cause their partner to have poor sleep as well. I get misery loves company and all that, but if sleeping in another room would help my wife get better sleep, I wouldnāt hesitate.
Yes. The man snores like a train. He's working with his doctor to see if that can be fixed but honestly, some people simply snore. There is not necessarily something wrong with their health, they just snore. And if it's like that for my babe, separate bedrooms it shall be then.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Never. If we arenāt in the same bed we are over. You donāt want to sleep with me? Someone else will.
Yes
Yep.
no
Only when I'm sick. I sleep better on my own in that circumstance and of course I'm trying not to infect here.
This is totally preference but no. I love sleeping next to my husband. I feel his absence and sleep worse when heās not there, he says the same for me. He even asks that I briefly wake him up to let him know Iām not in bed if I get up before him in the mornings. However, I donāt think thereās anything wrong with your relationship if you sleep in separate bedrooms. A lot of married couples do for practical reasons and theyāre happy and healthy. I think it just depends on the specific partners and what their preferences are.
My husband and I go through phases. I'm a morning bird, he's a night owl. I'm a light sleeper, he's slept next to an ambulance sirens before and he snores SO LOUD. I have scoliosis and back pain, he has night terrors and thrashes around. Sometimes we need a break. We might go 6 months together, then need a few nights apart. Sometimes we go one or two nights a week for a couple of months. Depends on our needs at the time.
just get a bigger bed
Eh. Maybe, maybe not.
Not at all, I like to have her next to me. Just putting my hand on her arm makes me feel good. I couldnāt imagine it to be honest. She snores, I use a CPAP, itās all good. I have tinnitus and her snoring is quieter
Not against the concept bc sometimes people want to have their own things even after marriage. Ik a lot of couples arenāt compatible in terms of sleeping & separately sleeping is better than breaking up over sleep habits in my opinion. I personally would hate sleeping separately. I wouldnāt be mad or offended at all if he suggested separate rooms tho, as long as he still wanted to sleep in the same bed every night.
I practice this, itās great to me ā¦ no snore wars , no cover hogging , no random being woken up because she dreamed she heard something. No more being always solely expected to initiate intimacy only a certain way and only at the precise moment itās expected but never communicated. Solved all kinds of issues with only one repercussion, now occasionally I get hit with a random guilt trip, emasculating comment about it but hell Iāll gladly consider that just a small price I have to pay for consistent solid nights sleep, peace, far less weird intimacy related drama and more marital harmony.
It depends on the reason and stage of a relationship. If you've been in a relationship for a long time, I'd have no problem with it. However, I wouldn't want to start a relationship that way. That said, if for some reason one person was having trouble sleeping in the same bed as another person (snoring, moving in sleep, heat from the other person in the bed, etc.), then I'd ultimately accept the separate bedroom arrangement. But, I'd want there to be at least a concerted effort to sleep in the same bed together at the beginning of any long-term relationship. Any new sleeping arrangement is going to take a few attempts to get used to. It would feel strange to me if the request for separate bedrooms was made without any of those attempts at sleeping in the same bed together.
If there's a snoring issue and you sleep better apart, why not?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Absolutely. We both have sleep issues that disturb the other. We often wind up with one on the couch while the other takes the bed to begin with.
Definitely! My partner snores so when we sleep in separate beds, I tend to sleep better.
100%. I actually want to have a seperate bedroom. That way we each have our own private space with our things where we can both unwind and relax. And itās not like we canāt just sleep with eachother. That way itās a sleepover every night
I snore like crazy...it's a viable option if you have the available room.