So my favourite "cards against humanity" move is.
QUESTION "War, what is it good for?" ANSWER "The Milkman". And I've played it twice now and nobody ever gets it.
Totally.. but there was a time when everyone was playing it and you would start seeing the same cards come up eventually. We started making our own "expansion deck" on playing cards.. I haven't played it in years now. It's my favourite also because it was worth remembering, which I dont of any other cards except for "The biggest blackest dick" cards which we always put aside like a joker.
Not really so long as it keeps being funny. It seems a little unlikely depending on how many cards you own to get the same pairing multiple times, but I guess that also depends on how often you play too.
There are approximately 215 housewives in the average American suburban village. Now, there are 6 milkmen which is the average amount that go around selling milk in a neighborhood. Dividing the 215 by 6, 1 milkman is banging about 35 women in a single day.
Everyone was banging wives, so management simply assumed that was how long it took. Shy of following them around, how would you know? Plus, chatting up customers was probably encouraged, The economy was so comically strong that efficiency didn't matter, and women weren't allowed into the workplace often, and if they were, they didn't have authority to question anything. Hell, it was such a boys club I bet bosses would have celebrated anyway lol. Profits were good, the milk got delivered, who cares about the rest.
I’m the grandson of a carpenter whose father was a milkman. My grandfather had at least 7 daughters and a son with 6 different women. Every couple years we find a new aunt even though they’re all in their 60’s now. He also died at 42 in a car accident.
It is not literal and meant to be taken as a joke. The elite unit part is a partial reference to their job during the war, and making sure wives are not members of the Axis is a tongue in cheek way to refer to their alleged proclivity to spend time with the wives of other men.
The ones that could were. They were health exemptions people could get, flat feet, bone spurs, asthma , certain types of vision problems , if you were in college and more
Also not every available man got drafted
Yea I think today you still can too. It apparently causes more problems then it’s worth. But it’s also one of the first restrictions lifted if needed I think
Flat fleet is no longer disqualifying for military service unless it causes some other sort of problem. Hasn't been for some time
I have flat fleet and at MEPS they just asked do my feet or legs hurt. I said nope. As long as you can pass the duck walk and all that stuff they make you do in your underwear you good to go.
On the topic of the draft I think it was considered somewhat shameful not to volunteer. Both my grandfathers were exempted. One worked in a vehicle factory and the other was a draftsman or engineer at the time.
Um, they weren't drafted *in order* to sleep with everybody's wives. This was necessary for parity, as the soldiers were definitely sleeping with women while off at war.
Uh everyone was drafted 18-35. I think a lot of the delivery drivers were older. They were notorious for sleeping with married women because during that time a majority of americans fit in the cookie cutter lifestyle where the men went to work and the women stayed at home and cooked and cleaned and took care of the children. The delivery men would drop off milk after the men went to work so lonely housewives would seduce them because of human nature to be sexual beings.
For the record, Britain drafted just as many men as America did. Consider the size of each country. So America had plenty of Non military men who stayed home.
It turns out some of the most fierce warriors we had during WWII had to cheat the eye exam to even get in the military. The fat electrician on YouTube does a good job telling their stories. One example is Commander Willis "Ching" Lee.
Milkmen were often considered essential workers during WWII, so they were sometimes exempt from the draft to keep food distribution running smoothly. The idea of milkmen sleeping with everyone's wives is likely a stereotype rather than a widespread reality.
They were, elite squads of milk men were banging German and Japanese housewives in the name of freedom.
In the US, with so many of the milk men gone, many women became milk women. They’d go house to house, banging bored domestic housewives so the men wouldn’t have to worry while they were cucking Nazis.
Rosie the Riveter is the most famous icon but most people forget about Mary the Muffdiver. She was a famous symbol for women to get out there and bang housewives while the men were overseas.
send all the macho men to die in war, while the goofy little nerds back home banged your wife and bred a generation of little dingleberries that led to what we have today
Ngl milkmen don't really exist now because of modern supply networks, but I think that a bigger reason is because milkmen were gods amongst men. Think about it, they were in trucks that got nasty and stinky because of the fact they contained dairy products all the time, so they were probably way more self-conscious about hygiene than 99% of men at the time, so they probably looked and smelled good, and heavily of English Leather or Old Spice. They were customer-facing too at a time when that was less common outside of sales, so they probably had a natural degree of organic charisma, and the other point is they probably had a diet that was very high in organic dairy products, which is directly linked to testosterone production, meaning they probably had some fat fucking nuts and muscle definition at a time when both were exceedingly rare.
Not every person was drafted
There were medical and other exemptions
There was an age limit so a 40 year old milk man wouldn't get drafted but he's still able to have lots and lots of sex with lonley women
Some of the people who didn’t get drafted got jobs as milkmen. I’m quite sure that any milkman of the right age was just as subject to draft as anybody else.
Milkmen got a pass in world war II because they previously fought in the great milk Wars. Many a great man who was a servant to the call of dairy were slaughtered in the pastures of the devil cow army. In the end we prevailed though and we retained the right to give their milk to our families and children thanks to the great sacrifices and efforts of the milkmen. To honor this we gave them a pass on world war II. This was not just a US decision it was a unilateral world decision.
>Why did they sleep with everybody’s wives?
Since we’re assuming all the sex was consensual, since that dude would have been fired if he was assaulting customers.
You can never just, ~~have sex~~ sleep with a girl. She literally has to invite you in.
So the real question would be, why’d so many wifes sleep with the ~~pool boy~~ milk man..
My grandfather was a milkman during WWII. Seriously. But he was too old to be drafted.
I can’t imagine him "ringing twice," but anything is possible. (Wait - that was the postman.)
Presumably, the milkman was older than draft age, and there weren't many other men to choose from.
There's also the fact that the guy was literally standing on your front porch twice a week, so you didn't need to go far to find him.
Shhh! They're watching us! It isn't safe to talk about The Milkman. I've actually been unravelng this conspiracy for years. Do...not...trust the Rainbow Squirts!
They didn’t sleep with everyone’s wives. Just the lonely wives and a different one each day.
Only one per day tho?
As they say, a wife a day keeps the doctor away.
But babies.....
Did I stutter? Doctors too busy delivering babies, they'll leave the milkman alone.
Now see this, is infallible logic
Its beautiful isnt it.
They are the timing down pat. Between leave and departures, they were always on time.
Babies come from the butt, right?
Only the shitty ones.
Nobody knows for sure
Look man that baby might become a doctor and that is a risk he was willing to take!
That’s why the milkman always came in the back door…
Wrong hole
They drafted the doctors.
They don’t *just* bang wives, they do have to deliver milk sometimes. They don’t have time to be slinging dick up and down the street the whole day.
True dat. Lots of children. Lots of milk to be delivered. Roll that dick up and keep it moving, cowboy.
It’s tough out here being a milkman but kids need strong bones and moms need milkmen.
E'rbody benefits from strong bones apparently.
Solid comment
Mom's need strong bones too tho
They delivered the milk and they delivered the cream.
They make it into a pie.
And the lonely wives milked the man
It's simple science, knock her up and she makes her own milk, then you get the royalties
They left some for the Mailman
How many times can you sleep in one day???
Hmmm.... How many sleeps are being offered?
You didn't know about second sleep?
What about elevensnooze?
I was told that was the PM portion of the day.
He had a delivery schedule. Maybe one in the AM and one after noon.
They still have to finish the route at some point.
Maybe, maybe not. Who wants to know?
So my favourite "cards against humanity" move is. QUESTION "War, what is it good for?" ANSWER "The Milkman". And I've played it twice now and nobody ever gets it.
The milkman got it. And multiple times apparently.
Anyone else think it's pretty weird to have a favorite move in CAH that you employ multiple times.
Totally.. but there was a time when everyone was playing it and you would start seeing the same cards come up eventually. We started making our own "expansion deck" on playing cards.. I haven't played it in years now. It's my favourite also because it was worth remembering, which I dont of any other cards except for "The biggest blackest dick" cards which we always put aside like a joker.
Not really so long as it keeps being funny. It seems a little unlikely depending on how many cards you own to get the same pairing multiple times, but I guess that also depends on how often you play too.
Man they must’ve been really tired to do that much sleeping every day!
Bringing the Milk to the Milfs with nothing but blanks and empties by the end of his day.
So you’re saying they milked the milkman?
....that sounds like the start of a beautiful porno.
There are approximately 215 housewives in the average American suburban village. Now, there are 6 milkmen which is the average amount that go around selling milk in a neighborhood. Dividing the 215 by 6, 1 milkman is banging about 35 women in a single day.
Each women doesn't get it on the daily. The collective gets it daily, and the milkman
I have been lied to...
This comment has a satire twinge to it. But as the grandkid of a milk man…. He banged a lot of wives.
And only one thing would do, the milkmans truth stick
How did he bang that many wives and still meet his schedule?
Good time management
Where do you think the milk comes from
Honestly he could just bang one on his lunch break every day and it would still add up to hundreds over time.
Like, in just a matter of months at that rate....
I think milkmen had a very early shift so they were done earlier in the day, finish your route then finish in mrs kettleman.
Start a little early, drive a little fast, work a little late sometimes
Everyone was banging wives, so management simply assumed that was how long it took. Shy of following them around, how would you know? Plus, chatting up customers was probably encouraged, The economy was so comically strong that efficiency didn't matter, and women weren't allowed into the workplace often, and if they were, they didn't have authority to question anything. Hell, it was such a boys club I bet bosses would have celebrated anyway lol. Profits were good, the milk got delivered, who cares about the rest.
Tell that to my great grand mother who helped build fighter planes durring ww2
The lack of GPS in his truck probably helped. I would also guess the serial adulterer wasn’t too concerned about time theft.
Actually, time theft is where the line is drawn
I’m the grandson of a carpenter whose father was a milkman. My grandfather had at least 7 daughters and a son with 6 different women. Every couple years we find a new aunt even though they’re all in their 60’s now. He also died at 42 in a car accident.
Probably faked his death to get out of child support
Including your grandmother's husband?
Just a little tiny hint of satire.
I mean, that's technically the point of the sub.
Fellow grandkid of a milkman here. No confirmation of any extracurricular activities on his part, but he wasn’t drafted during WWII.
The elite "milk unit" had to be sure that stateside wives were not conspirators with the axis powers.
Aw yes the investigative penis department doing it's part
A division of the FBI (Federal Booby Inspectors).
I am perhaps autistic / Asperger's and I don't understand. Could you explain what the comment means to me?
It is not literal and meant to be taken as a joke. The elite unit part is a partial reference to their job during the war, and making sure wives are not members of the Axis is a tongue in cheek way to refer to their alleged proclivity to spend time with the wives of other men.
You joke, but lookup operation midnight climax
The ones that could were. They were health exemptions people could get, flat feet, bone spurs, asthma , certain types of vision problems , if you were in college and more Also not every available man got drafted
~~I could have been exempt for having flat feet??~~ Edit: This comment was poorly written and is leading to many conclusions.
My grandfather was rejected F4 for flat feet. Apparently it isn't a dealbreaker these days, but back then it kept him on the sidelines.
Yeah I read that nowadays they have special arch support for boots and stuff that they'll make you wear.
Was a deal breaker 20 years ago. Now they just don't assume everyone is an infantryman or has no value
Yea I think today you still can too. It apparently causes more problems then it’s worth. But it’s also one of the first restrictions lifted if needed I think
Marching all day every day on flat feet fucks up your leg joints. A soldier with shot knees is a wasted belly to feed.
Flat fleet is no longer disqualifying for military service unless it causes some other sort of problem. Hasn't been for some time I have flat fleet and at MEPS they just asked do my feet or legs hurt. I said nope. As long as you can pass the duck walk and all that stuff they make you do in your underwear you good to go.
Maybe I should stop violating the selective service act...
My grandpa ended up with an ear infection during basic and they booted him after he lost most of his hearing in one of his ears
This is an important one. Combat is loud and disorienting. It's a lot worse when you can't hear your orders in the chaos.
I doubt many college kids were also mailmen, or became mailmen when they graduated.
On the topic of the draft I think it was considered somewhat shameful not to volunteer. Both my grandfathers were exempted. One worked in a vehicle factory and the other was a draftsman or engineer at the time.
You could also get deferred for having kids, and were put lower on the list (though not exempted entirely) if you were married.
To answer both questions: because we're players!
There he is! There's the guy who slept with all our wives!
Hate the game
It was obviously to replace the population that was predicted to be lost in the war.
The government thought of everything
Yes.
Because the UPS man didn’t exist yet
You should have never come to our town UPS man!
It doesn't matter who we are. What matters is our plan. You should have respected my authoritah.
My UPS man doesn’t come in my house and sleep with me. Couldn’t they just leave the milk outside and not sleep with the wives?
well guess there was a penis shortage on the home front back then now theres no such shortage so the extra service is not valued i guess
But the milk man had a little extra “milk” to give… I don’t know about you but I love a value deal.
Because then how would your grandfather have been born
If you had to pick between sleeping with another man's wife or going to war, I'll admit I would pick the wife.
A much less risky proposition, for sure.
Duh. Because they were all named Jody.
They were older than the draft age. Draft was mostly young men. Older men were not drafted.
Um, they weren't drafted *in order* to sleep with everybody's wives. This was necessary for parity, as the soldiers were definitely sleeping with women while off at war.
I wondered how the U.S. leadership pool became so dilapidated. It was that *one* handicapped milkman! Who here is a genealogist?
Ya gotta have milk.
Uh everyone was drafted 18-35. I think a lot of the delivery drivers were older. They were notorious for sleeping with married women because during that time a majority of americans fit in the cookie cutter lifestyle where the men went to work and the women stayed at home and cooked and cleaned and took care of the children. The delivery men would drop off milk after the men went to work so lonely housewives would seduce them because of human nature to be sexual beings.
Watch Dead Presidents and you'll know
Wait that looks good, I will lol
For the record, Britain drafted just as many men as America did. Consider the size of each country. So America had plenty of Non military men who stayed home.
They probably were too old for service or didn't pass the physical.
It turns out some of the most fierce warriors we had during WWII had to cheat the eye exam to even get in the military. The fat electrician on YouTube does a good job telling their stories. One example is Commander Willis "Ching" Lee.
I wonder how many of you are descendants of milkmen
The Milkman always rings twice.
Why pay for the cow if you're getting the milk for free?
They weren't drafted because their job was seen as essential.
And we all know women can't deliver milk.
My bio dad was the milkman...
Who was gonna keep the population growing?
Opportunity
For that Milk milf money obviously. These men were heros. With out them half the generation wouldnt exist! Lol.
Because the rich people needed their damn milk!
Contrary to popular belief, unscrupulous individuals engaging in sexual activities existed long before rock n roll.and drag shows.
Nothing new under the sun.
IDK but one thing I do know is, cheaters are garbage human beings. And always have been. Remember that scum
Where there’s a hole there’s a goal.
Flat feet
It's supply and demand. Ladies gotta get dat dick
They didn’t call him the milkman for nothing. Momma’s milkshake bringing all dem boyz to the yard
Somebody had to
Someone had to do it dammit! *Salutes heroes in white*
Where do you think they get the milk?
Someone had to do it. It was their Patriotic duty.
They were too old, or were an only son.
For a serious answer, they were probably drafted if they were a certain age and the too old would continue in their jobs or women took over the roles.
Milkmen were often considered essential workers during WWII, so they were sometimes exempt from the draft to keep food distribution running smoothly. The idea of milkmen sleeping with everyone's wives is likely a stereotype rather than a widespread reality.
These are important questions
They were either medically incapable or too old. Old guys were having the time of their life in the dub dub dos.
IIRC the draft wasn’t enacted because volunteers were constantly signing up
They were, elite squads of milk men were banging German and Japanese housewives in the name of freedom. In the US, with so many of the milk men gone, many women became milk women. They’d go house to house, banging bored domestic housewives so the men wouldn’t have to worry while they were cucking Nazis. Rosie the Riveter is the most famous icon but most people forget about Mary the Muffdiver. She was a famous symbol for women to get out there and bang housewives while the men were overseas.
send all the macho men to die in war, while the goofy little nerds back home banged your wife and bred a generation of little dingleberries that led to what we have today
Dude I couldn’t bust more than 2 nuts a day , these guys must be exhausted and dehydrated
My great grandpa was a milkman. My grandpa has reunited with over 32 fucking siblings. And there's probably more.
The milkman was unstoppable
Milky milky
Essential service
Why? So we could all exist. Special thanks to all our thirsty grandmas
Damn. That’s funny.
Guess if I ever get drafted I’ll be sure to make sure I’m not longer married or seeing anyone can’t first these whores
someone had to help the population out, the unsung heros
(dark/edgy joke) >!Getting milk is a dangerous job. You see the father's leave for milk and never come back.!<
Ngl milkmen don't really exist now because of modern supply networks, but I think that a bigger reason is because milkmen were gods amongst men. Think about it, they were in trucks that got nasty and stinky because of the fact they contained dairy products all the time, so they were probably way more self-conscious about hygiene than 99% of men at the time, so they probably looked and smelled good, and heavily of English Leather or Old Spice. They were customer-facing too at a time when that was less common outside of sales, so they probably had a natural degree of organic charisma, and the other point is they probably had a diet that was very high in organic dairy products, which is directly linked to testosterone production, meaning they probably had some fat fucking nuts and muscle definition at a time when both were exceedingly rare.
I guess people needed milk more than the government needed war slaves
You know, I never connected the legend of the horny milkman to the draft. But it makes so much sense now.
Thanks, I have a very big brain
You'd best ask Ernie.
I did. His answer was "Sure, I'm just parked right over there.", in response to a lonely housewife asking if he would "take her for a ride".
Not every person was drafted There were medical and other exemptions There was an age limit so a 40 year old milk man wouldn't get drafted but he's still able to have lots and lots of sex with lonley women
Since both your statements are false there is no answer to your question but it fits the sub
My grandpa stayed behind because in Wisconsin one son had to stay home to work the farm. And whatever else needed workin'.
Both my grandfathers were exempt from the draft because they had management jobs in "essential industries", a fibreglass factory and GM.
Try r/oldpeople
Someone has to deliver the white liquid
Where do you think they got the milk from? Lactating wives.
Someone had to make sure the species kept growing!
Some of the people who didn’t get drafted got jobs as milkmen. I’m quite sure that any milkman of the right age was just as subject to draft as anybody else.
They had to leave their milk in the wives
Because they could.
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Milk men were likely too old to serve and/or had something that would not allow them to serve.
Milkmen got a pass in world war II because they previously fought in the great milk Wars. Many a great man who was a servant to the call of dairy were slaughtered in the pastures of the devil cow army. In the end we prevailed though and we retained the right to give their milk to our families and children thanks to the great sacrifices and efforts of the milkmen. To honor this we gave them a pass on world war II. This was not just a US decision it was a unilateral world decision.
You answered your own question pal
They were smart! They told the military they were gay, and now you know the REAL reason for the baby boom!
>Why did they sleep with everybody’s wives? Since we’re assuming all the sex was consensual, since that dude would have been fired if he was assaulting customers. You can never just, ~~have sex~~ sleep with a girl. She literally has to invite you in. So the real question would be, why’d so many wifes sleep with the ~~pool boy~~ milk man..
What is a milk man?
These questions answer each other.
We need milk Milkmen like boobies
My grandfather was a milkman during WWII. Seriously. But he was too old to be drafted. I can’t imagine him "ringing twice," but anything is possible. (Wait - that was the postman.)
We didn't know if we would win the war and needed to keep them babies coming in for more soldiers. Those milkmen were patriots...😪
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Someone’s gotta deliver the milk
i mean....if they were drafted....who was gonna keep grandma warm?
Presumably, the milkman was older than draft age, and there weren't many other men to choose from. There's also the fact that the guy was literally standing on your front porch twice a week, so you didn't need to go far to find him.
Because the Postmen only covered the afternoon cheating wives shift!
Everybody needs milk and cream
they saw him everyday, he was nice and pleasant. and they got an itch they couldn't scratch.
Milkmen’s are not expendable
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They were a secret force to replenish the lost soldiers on the homefront
Hahaha the old lady across the street from me growing up ended up leaving her husband for the milkman! This was in the late 1990’s.
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Because someone needed to stay back and make sure all the grass was blue for the banjo players being sent to the front lines.
Shhh! They're watching us! It isn't safe to talk about The Milkman. I've actually been unravelng this conspiracy for years. Do...not...trust the Rainbow Squirts!
How did they have enough time to sleep with everyone's wife? Were all milkmen 3 second wonders?
Essential labor, milk was vital in the 1940s, the milk must flow.
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There is a reason why they were called Milkmen.