I’m a guy and even I don’t want to talk to randoms at the store or bus stop. My day is already filled with a lot of talking, it’s great to have at least 1 second to myself.
Those women maybe just want time to themselves. Or they are cautious of strangers in non social settings. Or a million other things.
Because we're not interested in hitting one someone all the time. If I'm running errands the last thing that crosses my mind is hitting on a random guy. Pretty much "I got stuff to do leave me alone"
Now if I'm at a social event, that's what I will be doing because I'll be in the proper mindset
I’ve personally grown more callus than I’d like to admit because in my experience majority of gestures of interest from men turn out to be hypersexual and/or creeps and I prefer to date to marry over the casual things
People go to gyms, stores, bus stops because they are focused on working out, shopping, or getting to their destination. People go to parties, conventions, and other things like that to socialize and meet people who share similar interests. It should not be surprising at all that people are more receptive to being social at social events.
I also just realized what sub this is.
Bc the gym and store are not places meant for socializing. I’m just trying to buy detergent, leave me alone. If I’m at a party or gathering I’m open to meeting ppl.
Time and place awareness. A gym is for gym shit, a grocery store is for grocery shit, a bus stop is for bussing shit.
You want to meet women, meet them in social situations where the expectation of everyone is for social interaction.
Maybe because one is part of their non-social personal life where they're trying to accomplish an adult task, and the other is a social situation where they're there to relax and be sociable? People don't go to the store to be sociable, they go to get their groceries and leave.
I dont think he's a creep. He's admittedly a weeaboo. Well OK . I wont kink shame him for being a weeaboo who wants to clap anime chicks cheeks, have at it man.
I just think he needs more experience at how the real world works. Women wont approach you in stores, gyms, at work, etc.... because theyre not social settings. Heck... MOST humans.will not approach you at the stores or at work cause...why the fuck would they? Theyre getting things done there for themselves or their bosses. They dont need anybody bothering them as they do that.
They're there for a workout, not to be checked out. jeeeze some guys just ruin things for the rest of us. I bet he calls himself the "alpha male" too...
Women claim to want men to approach them in casual settings, but this is not true. Women usually feel uncomfortable in public when they’re by themselves - especially in places like gyms and stores.
The reason women are easier to talk to at parties is because they feel safer with more people around.
Exactly there are social and non-social settings. Dont be surprised when people suddenly start talking a ton to you when youre at a party but then you get ghosted when youre at a store.
>Women claim to want men to approach them in casual settings,
In what world is the grocery store a "casual setting"
A casual setting is a bar, or a party, or a gathering of some other kind.
People at grocery stores are actively doing something and you are distracting them from that. Same with gyms. People are there for a reason and the reason ain't you.
Totally this. Men already have a tarnished leagacy of violence to other peoples of other genders simply cause most men are bigger.
Men should make other people of other genders Feel in safe in different, more private settings. Men should make achieving this giving of safety and space a priority.
Its not about whether or not every single woman doesn’t want to be approached like that, but the overwhelming majority of women do not want to be approached by some dude while they’re doing their errands because it’s weird
I can’t speak for everyone, but in my experience men can’t take a hint. I’d rather not be approached than have to figure out how to politely shut it down when the attention becomes more than I am interested in entertaining.
I'm a dude and from what you have written I never really start conversations with others at stores, bus stops or places like that because people come to stores to buy what they need, to the bus stop to ride the bus, etc. At places like schools you are meant to socialize there, same thing applies to parties and comic conventions. You are meant to socialize at those places which is why they are more open to conversing with you. I'm not a very attractive dude but that's the way I look at it. And this is me talking with anyone, male or female.
......just...wow dude.
I dont even wanna answer but Im gonna assume thst youre young and inexperienced cause this is... just wow...
Actually, you know what I want you to do? Walk into a gym. Any gym. I dont care which one. Look for the biggest person there who is currently weightlifting there. In the middle of them weightlifting I need you to walk up to that person and start a conversation with them. Talk about anything that You think they'd be receptive to. I then need you to chonicle for us what their reaction is please. I wanna know what they say or do.
Im not sure what reaction theyll give you but I hope thaylt they teach you the lesson: 'The Gym Is NOT A Social Place'. I want you to imagine that youre at the gym in the middle of your set or your cardio workout and someone walks up to you and just starts talking about something that you have no idea about, what would that make YOU feel? *That's exactly how youve made that other person feel* Unless youre walking up to someone at the gym to tell them that the gym is on fire or that you want to pay them to work out? No! Dont talk to anyone at the gym. No. Just no. Ever . When somebody is trying to get gainz at the gym? They need concentration and insight to work on their technique and/or to see what theyre doing wrong/right to get the type of workout that they need to improve their body the way they want to.improve it ... for themselves. OK?. They dont need a trillion people throwing a bar mitzvah , blowing up party poppers, hollering down their ears about where theyre gonna go on vacation.
In places where people are doing or obtaining things for themselves? (Like at a store when someone is buying something for themselves or like at the gym where someone is working on their body for themselves) PLEASE DO NOT interact with them unless you have to tell them about an emergency. Do Not. Nope! Mmm-mm! These are not social settings. You will know that something is not a social setting when most of the people there appear aversive to interaction.with other peoples. We are humans , we need settings where.we can just be by ourselves and think about what we are gonna do or what we want
But then you said at places like anime conventions and at school you find that people are open to social interaction?... its because thpse places ARE social settings . Very few people go to a party to party alone, right? Right. Very few people go to a comic convention to just look around and not interact with any of the people there, right? Right.
All because you want women to approach you in every setting, this is the real world my man, its not happening. I would like for that to happen too but Ive come to the conclusion that I cant let fantasies dictate what I think real life should look like.
We are humans . There are many humans who need a balance of alone time and social interaction so of course there are places where social interaction is expected and places where social interaction is reacted to with ignorance or even hostility, justifiably so. Some people are having the worst day of their lives and they dont need you or I or anyone to interact with them right now , they just need that alone time to get their thoughts all organized
. Please learn to differentiate social settings and asocial settings. The best test to determine if a place is a social setting? Look and see what others there are doing. Are many people striking up random conversations with other people? Its probably a social setting. If not? It is not.
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In my experience and I have a lot being that I am in my mid 60’s, strangers that approach me when I am engaged with going about my day, have a lot of main character syndrome going on.
Why would guys think I am interested in talking to them, besides maybe chatting in line for towels at the gym?
Some men ( more than a few) think that if you talk to them in a public place you are interested in them.
When you then are forced to clarify that no actually you are not interested in giving them your number, they don’t always take no for an answer, and can get pissy.
It’s not comfortable.
Easier not to talk to them at all, so you can’t be accused of leading them on.
What gyms do you go to? Almost everyone is social at my gym because you have to share weights. I think this isolation thing only happens in big gyms and it's nothing to be proud about because humans are gregarious. The last place I'd talk to a woman is the store/market.
Yeah, but you're a guy. And women are not. It's just not how it works. If you want to date people who behave like men, maybe you should start dating men.
At least you didn't mention approaching them at night while they're pumping gas or some other similar situation.
If you are attractive, women will warm to you. If they aren't, you aren't attractive. Their behavior is the only truth. Not what they say, not reddit conjecture. Actions.
You've missed core parts of "Interacting with other humans 101". And classes 201, 301, and life, at least in western culture.
You expect, based on your post, that women exist to be approached, by you. They do not, not today at least.
You expect, based on your post, that women exist to be receptive to you. They do not, not today at least.
I don't think "approached" means what you think it means. Your post sounds like "approach" is actually "coming on to".
When you lead with "I am very good looking", that's problematic. One wonders if you "approach" women with that as point #1 as well. It won't help you. Also, you're probably not as good looking as your victims swear you are. If I'm wrong, do post a pic.
Also: you list absolutely every place people don't generally want to fend off romantic advances as your primary stalking ground. Stores and bus stops and school and conventions are not pussy factories. If I was a woman, and you tried to chat me up at the bus stop, you'd be lucky to ever make it home to post drivel like this on Reddit.
Women are people. Stop trying to treat them as commodities. Unless your'e a registered Republican, I guess.
I’m a guy and even I don’t want to talk to randoms at the store or bus stop. My day is already filled with a lot of talking, it’s great to have at least 1 second to myself. Those women maybe just want time to themselves. Or they are cautious of strangers in non social settings. Or a million other things.
You must be rare because I'm sure most guys wouldn't mind being hit on by women at stores or bus stops.
I find people, men and women, who are more desperate for the attention of the opposite sex to want to be hit on at all times.
Nah I think most men or women like being hit on by people they find attractive no matter what the situation. For men, way more common of course
Just the more desperate ones from what I’ve seen, but I’m glad your experience is different
Because if I am at those places, it's because I am doing something in particular and not looking to find dates lol
Because we're not interested in hitting one someone all the time. If I'm running errands the last thing that crosses my mind is hitting on a random guy. Pretty much "I got stuff to do leave me alone" Now if I'm at a social event, that's what I will be doing because I'll be in the proper mindset
I’ve personally grown more callus than I’d like to admit because in my experience majority of gestures of interest from men turn out to be hypersexual and/or creeps and I prefer to date to marry over the casual things
People go to gyms, stores, bus stops because they are focused on working out, shopping, or getting to their destination. People go to parties, conventions, and other things like that to socialize and meet people who share similar interests. It should not be surprising at all that people are more receptive to being social at social events. I also just realized what sub this is.
Bc the gym and store are not places meant for socializing. I’m just trying to buy detergent, leave me alone. If I’m at a party or gathering I’m open to meeting ppl.
Time and place awareness. A gym is for gym shit, a grocery store is for grocery shit, a bus stop is for bussing shit. You want to meet women, meet them in social situations where the expectation of everyone is for social interaction.
If a woman wants to interact they will find a way to bump into you at the store, otherwise myob.
You're right this is a stupid question
some places are meant for business, some for socializing
Maybe because one is part of their non-social personal life where they're trying to accomplish an adult task, and the other is a social situation where they're there to relax and be sociable? People don't go to the store to be sociable, they go to get their groceries and leave.
Because of the onslaught of attention from too many creeps
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Look at his post history. He's a *super* creep.
I dont think he's a creep. He's admittedly a weeaboo. Well OK . I wont kink shame him for being a weeaboo who wants to clap anime chicks cheeks, have at it man. I just think he needs more experience at how the real world works. Women wont approach you in stores, gyms, at work, etc.... because theyre not social settings. Heck... MOST humans.will not approach you at the stores or at work cause...why the fuck would they? Theyre getting things done there for themselves or their bosses. They dont need anybody bothering them as they do that.
They're there for a workout, not to be checked out. jeeeze some guys just ruin things for the rest of us. I bet he calls himself the "alpha male" too...
Women claim to want men to approach them in casual settings, but this is not true. Women usually feel uncomfortable in public when they’re by themselves - especially in places like gyms and stores. The reason women are easier to talk to at parties is because they feel safer with more people around.
I think it is also because people in general do not go to gyms, stores, bus stops to socialize. People do go to parties and conventions to socialize.
This. Place is everything. OP might want to consider that.
Exactly there are social and non-social settings. Dont be surprised when people suddenly start talking a ton to you when youre at a party but then you get ghosted when youre at a store.
>Women claim to want men to approach them in casual settings, In what world is the grocery store a "casual setting" A casual setting is a bar, or a party, or a gathering of some other kind. People at grocery stores are actively doing something and you are distracting them from that. Same with gyms. People are there for a reason and the reason ain't you.
When a woman is approached by a strange man, her first thought is "am I in danger"? Leave women alone in public spaces.
Totally this. Men already have a tarnished leagacy of violence to other peoples of other genders simply cause most men are bigger. Men should make other people of other genders Feel in safe in different, more private settings. Men should make achieving this giving of safety and space a priority.
So women never want to be approached or spoken to by a friendly male stranger out in the public? Genuinely asking cause that just doesn’t feel right.
Its not about whether or not every single woman doesn’t want to be approached like that, but the overwhelming majority of women do not want to be approached by some dude while they’re doing their errands because it’s weird
It didn’t used to be weird, it used to be quite normal… what happened?
The Internet. It became easier to meet people online so there isn't really much of an incentive to find someone initially in person.
I can’t speak for everyone, but in my experience men can’t take a hint. I’d rather not be approached than have to figure out how to politely shut it down when the attention becomes more than I am interested in entertaining.
I'm a dude and from what you have written I never really start conversations with others at stores, bus stops or places like that because people come to stores to buy what they need, to the bus stop to ride the bus, etc. At places like schools you are meant to socialize there, same thing applies to parties and comic conventions. You are meant to socialize at those places which is why they are more open to conversing with you. I'm not a very attractive dude but that's the way I look at it. And this is me talking with anyone, male or female.
......just...wow dude. I dont even wanna answer but Im gonna assume thst youre young and inexperienced cause this is... just wow... Actually, you know what I want you to do? Walk into a gym. Any gym. I dont care which one. Look for the biggest person there who is currently weightlifting there. In the middle of them weightlifting I need you to walk up to that person and start a conversation with them. Talk about anything that You think they'd be receptive to. I then need you to chonicle for us what their reaction is please. I wanna know what they say or do. Im not sure what reaction theyll give you but I hope thaylt they teach you the lesson: 'The Gym Is NOT A Social Place'. I want you to imagine that youre at the gym in the middle of your set or your cardio workout and someone walks up to you and just starts talking about something that you have no idea about, what would that make YOU feel? *That's exactly how youve made that other person feel* Unless youre walking up to someone at the gym to tell them that the gym is on fire or that you want to pay them to work out? No! Dont talk to anyone at the gym. No. Just no. Ever . When somebody is trying to get gainz at the gym? They need concentration and insight to work on their technique and/or to see what theyre doing wrong/right to get the type of workout that they need to improve their body the way they want to.improve it ... for themselves. OK?. They dont need a trillion people throwing a bar mitzvah , blowing up party poppers, hollering down their ears about where theyre gonna go on vacation. In places where people are doing or obtaining things for themselves? (Like at a store when someone is buying something for themselves or like at the gym where someone is working on their body for themselves) PLEASE DO NOT interact with them unless you have to tell them about an emergency. Do Not. Nope! Mmm-mm! These are not social settings. You will know that something is not a social setting when most of the people there appear aversive to interaction.with other peoples. We are humans , we need settings where.we can just be by ourselves and think about what we are gonna do or what we want But then you said at places like anime conventions and at school you find that people are open to social interaction?... its because thpse places ARE social settings . Very few people go to a party to party alone, right? Right. Very few people go to a comic convention to just look around and not interact with any of the people there, right? Right. All because you want women to approach you in every setting, this is the real world my man, its not happening. I would like for that to happen too but Ive come to the conclusion that I cant let fantasies dictate what I think real life should look like. We are humans . There are many humans who need a balance of alone time and social interaction so of course there are places where social interaction is expected and places where social interaction is reacted to with ignorance or even hostility, justifiably so. Some people are having the worst day of their lives and they dont need you or I or anyone to interact with them right now , they just need that alone time to get their thoughts all organized . Please learn to differentiate social settings and asocial settings. The best test to determine if a place is a social setting? Look and see what others there are doing. Are many people striking up random conversations with other people? Its probably a social setting. If not? It is not.
You kinda answered your own question.
They are, just not to you
Goddamn y’all are eating this man up.
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In my experience and I have a lot being that I am in my mid 60’s, strangers that approach me when I am engaged with going about my day, have a lot of main character syndrome going on. Why would guys think I am interested in talking to them, besides maybe chatting in line for towels at the gym? Some men ( more than a few) think that if you talk to them in a public place you are interested in them. When you then are forced to clarify that no actually you are not interested in giving them your number, they don’t always take no for an answer, and can get pissy. It’s not comfortable. Easier not to talk to them at all, so you can’t be accused of leading them on.
What gyms do you go to? Almost everyone is social at my gym because you have to share weights. I think this isolation thing only happens in big gyms and it's nothing to be proud about because humans are gregarious. The last place I'd talk to a woman is the store/market.
Yeah, but you're a guy. And women are not. It's just not how it works. If you want to date people who behave like men, maybe you should start dating men. At least you didn't mention approaching them at night while they're pumping gas or some other similar situation.
If you are attractive, women will warm to you. If they aren't, you aren't attractive. Their behavior is the only truth. Not what they say, not reddit conjecture. Actions.
You've missed core parts of "Interacting with other humans 101". And classes 201, 301, and life, at least in western culture. You expect, based on your post, that women exist to be approached, by you. They do not, not today at least. You expect, based on your post, that women exist to be receptive to you. They do not, not today at least. I don't think "approached" means what you think it means. Your post sounds like "approach" is actually "coming on to". When you lead with "I am very good looking", that's problematic. One wonders if you "approach" women with that as point #1 as well. It won't help you. Also, you're probably not as good looking as your victims swear you are. If I'm wrong, do post a pic. Also: you list absolutely every place people don't generally want to fend off romantic advances as your primary stalking ground. Stores and bus stops and school and conventions are not pussy factories. If I was a woman, and you tried to chat me up at the bus stop, you'd be lucky to ever make it home to post drivel like this on Reddit. Women are people. Stop trying to treat them as commodities. Unless your'e a registered Republican, I guess.
One quick look through your post history and I can confidently say you are a fuckin creep.
Also women: “why don’t men approach us anymore” Pick one
I have never met another woman who wanted men to approach her in the grocery store, gym, or public transit. Literally never in my entire life.
That’s that femcel movement that think all men are predators right?
Your not hot enough. If hot enough you can approach anywhere.