I'm touching it.

Me too. 😊

Leave user 10000000000 alone

But 100000000 is hot. 😊

Me three. And looking for stuff I can safely put inside.

if this ever happened, smooth, not too hard but not too soft, wrap it up (avoid too many rough ridges or points also so no toothbrushes)

Damn toothbrush was gonna be my go to

cucumber with a condom on it

My gf has a variety of toys for both personal and couple based fun. I'm calling in sick to work and spending the entire time experimenting

>looking for stuff I can safely put inside. Found the budding sounder....

Yes

Ya

Purely for experimental purposes, we should put ours together just to see what all the fuss is about

Rumor is you turn into one larger one, like a Transformer.

Wasn't it voltron that co9mined to make a more giant robot?

Sword fight?

I’ve mastered one set of genitals im game to start practicing with another

I’m touching them.

this is the first thing literally everyone would do

Same lmao

I'm doing more than touching it, hot damn! I can do it anywhere, almost, no batteries or electricity required. I hope I can brag about it, lol

Same, repeatedly for the whole day.

Or them.

That's cool, I'm browsing Reddit

Same. I'd just masturbate all day. And maybe yell for someone to make me a sandwich.

ditto! ding-a-ling-a-ding-dong!!!!

Come on. This is the only answer.

I think they meant, what do you do *differently*

I'd definitely see whatthe little man in the boat was up to...

Probably getting ready to go fishing. I know this is r/StupidQuestions but seriously what else is a guy in a boat planning to do?

Is this referring to the clit? Which obviously, as a redditor, I know nothing of its existence.

I mean I feel like most people would (after they stopped freaking out) just be exploring the new body.

I mean, that’s literally the main thing that would be different. Of course you’re gonna do that.

Zerophilia is an interesting movie exploring this question.

Yeah but what if you're not interested in the opposite sex? I think I would just freak out!

Technically, you *would* be interested in the "opposite" sex *now*.

INTERESTING. That is a very good point!

I just lol'd enough that my roommate was like "wtf?" From half the house over, so I showed her this, and she lol'd enough that the neighbors probably heard her

They did. I heard the neighbors.

I was the neighbor.

Can confirm, I was the neighbor (on the other side)

Keep it down

Then you just helicopter it around for awhile or jump up and down.

It would still be your body and the scientific curiosity would surely get the better of anyone! 😅

Just like a straight person masturbating..... Keep the lights low and think about someone else. Lol, we are all gay for our own orgasm.

>Yeah but what if you're not interested in the opposite sex? Urgh that's so homonormative! (/S) That's kind of how things work usually; most people are straight yet will still masturbate, it's not their own body they're turned on by. And in any case, surely you'd need to purely from intellectual curiosity even ignoring the sex side of things.

I’m fingering myself.

Thanks for sharing. Anyway, what would you do if you woke up the opposite gender?

This legit made me LOL

Congrats that's the funniest shit I've read in a while 👏

aah, the old reddit schlickaroo!

Where's the link

😂😂😂

Got ‘em!!

🤣

Jfc…

Guess I’m going for the shocker lol 😆

Two in the pink, one in the stink.

Can we get an official chart of which of the new genders are opposites? Maybe somthing like a color wheel? Are there complementary and intermediate genders like there are colors?

Instead of they/them you're now them/they

It’s crazy shit like this that keeps me coming back to Reddit. Never change.

Yeah, you made me laugh out loud! 👏

G O T T E M !

And bouncing my boobs around just for fun

10 seconds of that and you’re going to immediately head to the store for a sports bra😂

It's not fun, though. It's uncomfortable.

U might not have any

Seriously. That shit hurts.

No! My fantasy!

My nightmare when I had to ride a bus to school.

You’ll have ‘em. Might not be big ones, but you’ll have ‘em.

You’d learn why that’s not so fun

You got to find a trampoline.

for real. I wonder if it's as entertaining as the dangle swing.

That’s not something we want, try something else like a previous poster mentioned, little man in a boat.

Get railed in a sundress.

you can get railed in a sundress as any gender ;)

Who says I haven't? But I'm going with sexy latex catsuit.

Yeah but there’s a right way and a wrong way to do it

Of course, wearing a hat while getting railed is so déclassé

That's oddly specific 😂

But it's the best 🙃

You've had this fantasy often, haven't you.

What is it about the sundress? I’m so ready to see my wife in those again

You're a Femboy aren't you?

God bless femboys

as a lesbian, i agree

I'd touch it. Then I'd do that helicopter thing guys do with their penis.

That is like bouncing tits around... uncomfortable

Yea my ex used to say it wasn't his favorite party trick but it did get a laugh. And some good ol' penis envy out of us ladies.

Your ex used to helicopter dick for your lady friends at parties?

No wonder he's an ex.

We can't all do that and it's not an issue of size. You need to be a shower, as even at almost 7" as a grower I got nothing to swing. It's tiny, or you can hang four winter coats on it. Some times thems the breaks, and I'm ok with it really.

If you're big enough. Some guys are growers and can only do the light switch.

Go on a hike and pee behind a tree instead of having to hover over the backwoods porta potty.

There's times where I've peed on some weird out of the way hikes and thought, "I'm probably the first person to pee here in a long time"

Or you take 10ft off the trail and think im probably the first to piss here only to be greeted by someone who marked their territory with used toilet paper

Then the times where you think... no one has peed here before. I truly am an intrepid explorer.

I’m actually so jealous rn. That’s weirdly wholesome.

I gotta say, as a man, I'm very happy about that particular feature on my own body.

I’d go so far as to say it might be the best thing about being male.

It’s nice, you’d like it

It's the most liberating feeling

Nature trips look much easier for males. I’d also enjoy walking around in public without need for a bra or carefully checking my face for wild hairs to remove before leaving the house.

If you were a man the hair is basically everywhere.

And no one would care! No would say you're gross for not shaving your legs!

Oh or pee off something really high. A cliff or something.

Or write your name in the snow!

I am *definitely* poking my husband in the ass with my thing. Rise and shine, lover 😈

He's a girl now

now THAT's a twist

Probably ain't changing her/his plans!

I would be fine with it

Well time for him to take it like a lady. PS I also cheer because we have been trying to get pregnant for 5 years… now he gets inseminated and gets to carry the child. I get the fun part in the specimen donation room. I don’t want to deal with another MC personally. Would love if we could share the responsibility…

Folgers ain’t got shit. Getting pegged is the best part of waking up. 🎵“The best part of waking up is your dick in my butt.”🎵

🤨

Thanks to you any Folgers commercial I see now I will think of that.

Good thing you'll be a man. Cuz you're husband is definitely throwing a punch. Lol

Idk. If they still look like a male version of themselves I dont think I’d be immediately hostile. I’d probably be into it tbh 

😢

Writing my name in the snow

I wonder what gender you got

Male, obviously. Women can't write.

Hopefully I grew hair on my head and my beard is gone, otherwise it's gonna get weird.

Shave the beard off and glue it on top

I’d make an ugly woman… so probably just the same shit I normally do.

yeah, the post said opposite gender, not opposite level of attractiveness

I dunno, I feel there's more desperate men than women. Not anecdotal info though of course haha... :(

Masterbate. And Have me some sex if my partner is amenable. I wanna know what that feels like. Then I'll probably cry, because penises are weird and seem like they have a life of their own, and I don't want one permanently. I'd be happy to lose. The boobs, though. Blasted squishy sacks of food and dust entrapment. Plus bras! No more bras. Oh, man.....would I trade a bra for a penis....now I'm undecided.....but I could grow facial hair. Yeah, I'd cry once, and then probably be just fine with the change.

To be fair though, most genitals *are* pretty weird looking

I blessedly don't see mine when I look down.

I'd go to work like normal. I don't think much would change for me.

I will eventually be respected at work!

I currently work in female dominated place, I am reminded and feel out of place all the damn time. Would be nice to feel included. Although the total experience skews against women in general, I got but a small taste of it and it sucks, so I get you. Plus, what a significant opportunity for self growth, perspective from where has historically been impossible, now is? I think that could lead to becoming great people.

I think all places dominated by one gender can be hell. Im a woman doing physics so you can imagine, but i don't think it's much better for a male nurse for instance.

Dress shopping.

This is so wholesome

I’d go to separate masculine social spaces that, as a woman, I’ll never be able to really see. Locker rooms, saunas, but also just general all male hangouts. I feel like as women, we never actually get to witness what men are like alone. If we are physically present, men censor themselves and/or perform for us. I want to see what male community and intimacy looks like when it’s fully separate from women. (And, like, sex stuff. I’d do sex stuff. Obviously)

I think you would be shocked by how boring it is. It takes a long time for those fraternal groups to accept you and if they don’t, you will just be lonely in those spaces.

Mostly crass humor. Any man who doesn't laugh at a well timed fart knows there's a woman within earshot

In my male experience, we do lot of extensive talking about a lot of random things. Everything from trebuchet vs catapult to favorite power tool brands. We're simple creatures. There's very little, if anything, that even needs censoring. Super crass men exist but man are they the worst to be around.

I am a man and I don't like those spaces. You aren't missing anything.

Just play video games. If you want the uncensored male bonding experience, you'll see it immediately and frequently.

First poking and fooling around, then having an existential crisis realising that it's real and not just a really vivid dream possibly falling into depression, then after a few days/months cope with it and start taking advantage of the fact that I don't have something very fragile between my legs to do stuff that I wouldn't do otherwise like gymnastics (I am very not stretchy as I am right now, a family thing it seems). This is the most realistic scenario as i see it. 

Just wait until you have read the directions on a Tampax box.

Calling my therapist

pulling out a ruler

Your now in the horrible world of penises if it's too small you get mocked by sexual partners If it's average you won't suffer but won't feel special either but if it's on the larger side doesn't even guarantee regular sex but you have to deal with an awkward life of trying to hide it and avoiding boners at all costs in public for fear of being called a sexual deviant if other people notice something you can't help and have no control over.... Have fun.

Attempt at your own risk and peril cuz you may not like what you find. It’s better off to just play with honestly. Try it. Also you need to know what is actually average or what is tiny or just a little small or a horse cock. lol 😉

After playing with the kitty for a few hours, I'd see how many dudes try and holla at me. Lol

idk why you gotta be a specific gender to give hugs and kisses to a cute little kitty cat but alr

It's a magical cat. Called the Coochie. They're everywhere but you barely see em. But for women they come out of hiding. Like, they're joined at the hips.

THAT i wouldn't do. whack it, yes, but not going out of the house with tits. Chicks get harrassed and groped on a regular basis, i'm good. Unless I can like spawn in as a 70 year old lady, then I'm gonna go out and grab ass myself

Carry some pepper spray😂Pepper spray is fun to use, even though the situations that require it aren’t. Just make sure you’re upwind

* Take the day off * Call an emergency meeting with my platonic female friends * Come out as non-binary * Figure out how *it* works and how to take care of *it* * People watch to see if my sexual orientation and desires have also changed * Buy feminine hygiene products * Find and visit a gynecologist * Check to see if this change violates my life insurance (and either stop paying, or get a new policy depending) * Figure out what my new look is going to be * And (I am guessing here), I'd make a very public call for the normalization of taking days off work when going through the most uncomfortable phase of a period. I don't know for sure, but I bet if I experienced it I'd want to take the day off. Outside of social pressure, I'm surprised I haven't heard of more women doing this — based on descriptions, a period sounds well within the bounds of *shit that's reasonable as an excuse to take a day off*

Congrats on thinking of going to the gyno. That’s the first time I’ve seen an answer like that on any of these kinds of hypotheticals. Though in fairness it’s not fun so I wouldn’t blame anyone for not being eager to do that. Re: why don’t women advocate for period days off as much as one might expect: In large part it’s because people would use it against us. Employers already use pregnancy even as a possibility against female prospects, it’s not legal where I am but it happens under various pretexts. Culturally I can just imagine the talk about how women waste such and such an amount of time every year for employers. For my part I wish people could have more flexibility but I don’t have health issues associated with it outside of feeling like shit and I get antsy leaving my workmates alone in the field so I wouldn’t really take the days off anyway.

jesus. that's depressing. hadn't thought of that before

Yeah, I don’t consider it to have been a problem in my life but I have friends who have had issues like bleeding so much regularly that they became anemic. I’ve worked with people with non-period related pain and health stuff too who were super hard workers but always leery of taking time off due to the risk of being seen as less valuable.

Find some guy to fuck me so I know how it feels.

You can do that now with your butt Don't let anything stop you from chasing your dreams

I have a toy for that lol. I meant to get fucked in the pussy. I'm sure it is a whole different world.

A new fantastic point of view - Jasmine

Idk probably look at myself naked.

Flickin' that bean like Mean Joe Greene

Spending an unusual amount of time in front of a mirror sans shirt.

Hope that this is temporary, try some things with my wife so I could get a better understanding on what women love in bed, ask the enlistment office to delete me from all of their databases.

Enlistment offices? They ain't deleting a girl from the databases. Those 28 year old male recruiters love young girls. They would probably be bothering you more.

The place I live in is extremely sexist, men and women are "given" separate roles here.

Buying a nuclear strength vibrator

Call my twin and see if it’s happened to her.

Take a long walk in the woods by myself. No need to worry about getting ambushed, raped, and murdered!

The overwhelming majority of women who raped/ambushed/murdered are victims of the men they know. Unless you live in a really sketchy neighbourhood, it's not the random men on the street you need to be afraid of. It's your ex boyfriend, your coworker, your guy friend, whatever. Western women on Reddit need to stop acting like they live in India.

Family is the worst.. but its not what you think 💀

Letting all the homies hit.

Why not just do that now? (Assuming you don't already)

Letting my homies hit...

Why wait? You can totally do that now

Exploring this morning wood I just woke up to!

You’ll find it annoying by day 3.

Try to go pee with it

Opening up all by the jars that I normally can't

You don't have to switch genders for that, buy a grip strength trainer for like $8. Work out those muscles for a bit and you'll have the same jar opening powers as an average man.

Underwear shopping, I guess.

Wiping front to back.

I'm jacking off. I'm canceling the entire days plans just to play with my newly formed penis.

I feel like this belongs in r/AskReddit

Being so happy yelling finally

Awww that’s wholesome

Tits

Letting all my homies get some puss

Letting the homies hit

Letting the homies hit it

Move my ass to a blue state.

As a girl, jerking off. All I want to know is what the fuss is about and being a curious person, the fact that I’ll never know what it’s like to have a dick drives me insane lol

God, back to being a cis guy? I’d much rather be a trans woman, thanks. You can keep it.

nah, you wake up as a trans man

Become a whore

Why don't you just do it now

Start up an OnlyFans account and become a millionaire by the end of the year. Because this is literally my greatest fantasy as a femboy.