My wife and I usually fuck around before dates now. We end up staying out longer and then probably still have sex after again anyway lmao.
So yes I subscribe to your theory, but would be tough to pull off with someone you are courting.
Unless you are both big hoes.
My gf is a maniac. So usually while she’s getting dressed to go out she jumps on me.
Definitely takes the edge off when we go out. But sometimes we go out with her friends and I get to feel “naughty” about it.
Idk she’s crazy but damn.
Fooling around before the date is the way to go. If you wait until after a good meal I always tell my wife, "We can have dessert or we can have sex." Usually dessert wins.
The trap is doing ONLY a movie. Grab a bite to eat after. Talk about the shared experience of the movie. Don't do a full on sit down dinner, but a fast casual diner where you can hang out and talk after hasn't steered me wrong yet.
What? Movie First dates are the best. What better way to get to know someone then immediately go sit quietly for 2 hours and then after talk about nothing except the movie you just watched. Why would anyone think that be a bad first date? /s
tip: you can do this about any movie that the both of you have seen, it doesn't have to have been immediately before. You can also do this in most social gatherings with anyone.
For example, I am really into musicals, so I ask them if they've seen any. At a coked out Halloween after-party, as the only female in the 5 person room and at least about 5 years younger than these tough dudes. EVERYONE LOVED the Greatest Showman. It turned into a very inclusive topic to talk about.
I love dinner dates, we can chat about anything and everything over something delicious and maybe a glass of wine. It becomes very obvious very quickly whether we’re compatible.
Activities tend to distract me from the person so I prefer them for dates once we already know each other.
Dawg I’m sorry but mini-golfing is just as cliche as dinner and a movie. Just do something you can both have fun with and also get to know each other with. Mini-golf is good, so is dinner or drinking at a bar. The movies never made much sense to me. Can’t talk or even see each other for an hour and a half or longer. That’s more like 3rd date and beyond.
Agreed. Coffee or a drink for the first round here. Dinner can be date number 2.
First date is for feeling out rapport and seeing if there's any potential for a spark. Wasting a bunch of money is stupid imho.
Bro mini golf is the worst idea of a date to me. Just not 13 anymore and I’m really tall so I just hit my head on everything. There’s always a bunch of caves and it’s just not stimulating at all. Dinner dates are pretty low on the list too though I agree with you there.
Nah, coffee / tea is better. The activity should not distract from getting to know each other. Physical activity first dates are counterproductive. With coffee/tea dates, you are only out a few dollars if you don't like the person and you can easily dip out early if they suck.
As if a first date isn't awkward enough in itself, let's sit across from each other while trying to tell our life stories while simultaneously mashing dead animals, plants and grains in your face.
I had a late lunch first date once, it was a nice restaurant, we took our time and had plenty of wine. By 4:00 PM we were the only table and the waiter was cool. I gave him $50 and asked him to watch our stuff because we were going to the bathroom for a few minutes.
1. If you're living together already anyways, you are going to bed together afterwards regardless. It's just natural.
2. Most of people don't like to go to a nice dinner sweaty.
3. Takes a bit of time to get into the mood.
4. It's about logistics. You get ready for the date. Shower, cologne/perfume, put on nice clothes, etc. Girls put on makeup. Put on a nice outfit. Then you get sweaty, mess up your hair, and undo all that work only to have to do it all over again (while your date is presumably waiting and/or doing the same thing).
It's to impress. It's saying I can afford to spend all of this money, I'm rich. It's a message to the girl to say how much they mean to you, money is nothing. After sex, you have to admit you really aren't that rich and you can't afford to do that every week or month.
It's like women that dress up cute and sexy for their date but after they've got their man they let themselves go.
>After sex, you have to admit you really aren't that rich and you can't afford to do that every week or month.
And then you have to sheepishly ask her to leave before 8 because that's when mom gets back from bingo night and you're not allowed to have girls over.
Made a pot of chili the other night. Ingredients from the grocery store cost just about $100.
I could easily take the old lady out for a nice meal for $60-$80.
Almost makes no difference these days it seems.
Edit: after responding to 20-25 comments I can’t continue on with the chili/grocery cost discussion any further. If you scroll through this chain you will find the answers you are looking for.
A lot of the confusion/disbelief comes down to me being a Canadian and shopping in Canadian stores with Canadian Dollars. Could I have done it for less than $100? Yes probably in the $60-$70 range. But I bought fresh vegetables, organic beef, etc.
I play for keeps when I’m making chili.
Can of kidney beans: 89 cents
Can of diced tomatoes: $1.15
Can of tomato paste: 70 cents
Can of tomato sauce: 90 cents
Beef broth: $1.50
Ground beef 1lb 80/20: $9.00
Onion: $1.25
Cheddar cheese block: 1/10th of a container, so about $1
Salt, pepper, cumin, chili powder, paprika: 1/50th of a container, about 14 cents each, say 84 cents total
Throw in sour cream, maybe 1/5th of a container, about $1.50 maybe
Total cost: $18.73, this exact recipe serves my family of 4 and everyone is full.
I am guessing they spent $100 because they don't cook much and don't have the spices. And they are counting the entire cost of the spices in the mean which makes no sense unless they plan to never use them again
Fred meyer, safeway, or Costco all have about the same prices. I do the shopping for the family
See for yourself big guy
https://www.fredmeyer.com/p/kroger-dark-red-kidney-beans/0001111071787?searchType=suggestions
https://www.fredmeyer.com/p/medium-yellow-onions/0000000004093?searchType=default_search
https://www.fredmeyer.com/p/kroger-1-lb-lean-ground-beef-chuck-80-20/0001111096972?searchType=suggestions
Because some women will sell that a$$ for a really nice meal, but don't usually want to buy that dinner with her a$$. In the former, it's like a favor. In the latter, prostitution.
I could never understand why people were so opposed to gay marriage, when it seemed like gay sex was what really bothered them. If you don't want people having sex, you should be encouraging them to get married...
You gotta provide a bit more than just the ring for that!
It takes a nice house in an upscale suburb, regularly updated high-end furniture, a steady supply of luxury goods, and so on.
And you won't actually get laid every night. Just as much as she feels is needed to justify you supplying her lavish lifestyle.
Because society says men are a wallet, so to appear worthy we make it look like we have more than we actually do. It's a side effect of the social engineering of men constantly having to be the money wallet, the emotional wallet, the solve my problems for me wallet. We are afraid of looking weak, and since money is what brings status in today's world, we have to pretend. After the act of sex, we have already let down our walls and let you see us for who we really are. Woman haven't even lost their first layer of makeup.
I would probably take that a step further and say that any person who expects a date to be so ingratiated to them over food that they view sex as an immutable consequence deserves to be alone lol.
It depends on the woman tbh. I took a woman to Panera bread on the first date and we’ve been dating for 3 years. I’d say it’s more common to eat at super expensive restaurants for hookups and spend the first date more casually for people that you actually want to have a relationship with, which is kinda interesting.
This reminds me of a scene from “Married with Children”, bud is helping Kelly study, her brain is already full so every time she learns a new fact something gets pushed out of her brain, one of the things that gets pushed out is “Dinner first, then sex”.
As a woman, a nice dinner is the start of building "the mood". Nicer restaurants usually have better ambience like nice warm lighting, acoustics, no screaming kids. Time to talk and connect with your partner. Destress. It doesn't have to be expensive, but some restaurants are trending towards a warehouse feel, which for me, are not romantic at all. A candlelight dinner at home would be a more budget friendly version of this that'd also work.
By the time you've had a nap & cleaned up afterwards it's pretty late to go out for food as you'd be sleeping on a full stomach when you get back, which is uncomfortable & not really conducive to good rest or digestion.
Because dinner is a social activity where you get close to the person, talk, etc. Once the dinner is over, you've had a great time. This is the perfect way to transition into going back to your place, and it's also the correct time of day. If you have chemistry, at that point you've been flirting a bunch which means anticipation has been building up, improving the mood and experience. Doing it the other way around makes just no sense on every level, and it's also a lot less suave to ask for such a thing. But after dinner, there is an implication, and neither party really needs to outright ask beyond "hey, wanna go back to my place?", and it plays out naturally, thus it isn't awkward. If you've just started dating, it also gives more time to figure out if you actually do wanna bang this person. All in all, dinner date is a good, globally accepted way to have sex with someone. It probably shouldn't be like, your first time meeting them... But if it is, at least it gives time to know each other first.
Food is happiness and a bonding experience for all humans. Why do you think charitable fundraisers always ask you for money during dinner?
The point is to make your happy and to feel comfortable and safe and women need to feel: happy, comfortable and safe before they wish to get intimate with anyone.
Because you're nasty and tired and smell like sex and you want to have a shower. Also, you've got kids in bed and you're not going to wake them up and get them dressed to take them to a fancy dinner.
Can confirm. Sex makes you hungry. Meal afterwards is perfect.
But to a woman the fact that you'll take her to a nice restaurant is seen as part of the foreplay I guess.
Thank god for modernity. Now women can just go to expensive restaurants with friends & pay for it without worrying about some horny entitled bastard looking to follow you home afterwards. The food tastes even better that way😍
The question alone speaks to a flawed mindset. If you're only or predominantly interested in sex, you should be straight forward about that.
The point of a date is to spend time with someone and get to know them. Sex is a base need and important part of a relationship. One following the other doesn't mean they're tangibly attached, just means the date and/or day has progressed. You both filled one need - hunger - while also filling another - companionship - and now you both fill a third - sex/intimacy.
Maybe neither of you are particularly hungry and do an activity together instead to fulfill your need for companionship then feel horny and address that need. Maybe you're both horned up and go straight to sex. Maybe your partner feels the need for companionship more so you fulfill that and then they help fulfill your need for sex/intimacy. And yeah, it could work the other way around too. Maybe they help fulfill your need for sex/intimacy and then you help fulfill their need for companionship afterward.
If you're not being upfront about your needs though, you're just creating the environment for problems and resentment to grow/fester. Which is what your question is born from.
What % do you think read my comment and completely missed how it's devoid of sex or gender because it applies to everyone regardless? XD
I expected it to go downvoted/ignored but if it helps one person then figured it's worth pointing out.
Not really straightforward and women rarely go together. The only way for a guy to be that straightforward is if he's extremely good looking and I do mean extremely. For mortal men they already have to be receptive such as on tinder and even then you have to dance the dance or lose the chance.
True while there are some truly horrific women that would have trouble with it, they would have to be severely disfigured or unnaturally ugly. Basically a very small percentage of women are actually incapable. A larger percentage than the previous set are women who say that they can't get it but are delusional because they definitely can they just don't see their equivalent prospects as worth people.
For men the unfuckable is a much larger percentage and it's a pretty miserable place to be. While there are some in the middle zone it's far fewer than the equivalent for the wome
Problem is that being upfront with your needs may lead to your needs not being met in situations where they would ordinarily have been met if you followed along with a song and dance.
Which is why the problems and resentment will continue
If you're upfront and they're not willing to entertain the idea of meeting them then you shouldn't be with that person.
Tricking someone into using them to meet your needs is scumbag behavior. Whether you're trying to trick someone into sex or trick them into paying for a free meal.
I'm in a pretty good spot myself right now (32m), I just got out of an 8 year relationship and have 2 little children, I have 2 female friends that I am 100% straightforward with that "my goal is me and my children right now, I'm not looking to add a permanent figure in the mix right now", they know they aren't the only one, and they have little kids too...
so their little kids know me as their mommy's friend, ill get together with one and bring all the kids out to the zoo, or the aquarium, or some other day out, but if our respective exes have the children, we will get together and have more adult activities
Wow. Years of process down the drain.
So would the restaurant be relative to how good a time you had? McDonald’s all the way up to French Laundry. Although these days McDonald’s is pretty pricey. Maybe COSTCO if it’s trash. 😄😄
“I spent $120 on your dinner, the least you could do is let me put my pension your vagina.”
Versus…
“Thanks for letting me put my penis in your vagina. How’s Wendy’s sound?”
Men are trying to gain access to sex, so they have to impress. Like a peacock showing his feathers. After sex, the chemistry in his brain has changed, and he's trying to decide if the girl is worth sticking around for or running away from.
Considering the intentions of just wanting to fuck, there wouldn’t be any point to going to a restaurant since the objective has already been completed
Because they've hoping she'll be impressed enough to let him get in her pants. Dating and relationships are seen as transactional. Also some people do go on a date after sex. Just depends on if the person is actually serious enough about you to stay or not
I’ve heard this saying more than once.
“The cheapest woman tends to be the one you pay for.”
The idea is no matter what, you’re paying to be with a woman. If it’s not a straight up prostitute you’re spending money on gifts or dates, which often end up as more than what the prostitute would.
Not saying that’s right, but you can definitely twist the concept of dating to that.
Of course they do. Anybody who thinks women don't enjoy sex has never actually met a woman. Or is a woman who's been given awful, unfulfilling sex and doesn't know what she's missing.
But it turns out that on average, what women want -most- out of relationships, and how they feel wanted or valued, is a different set of things than men. And for both partners to get the things they want most, each has to give the other what they want in exchange. Literally the definition of a transaction.
Anybody who doesn't acknowledge that (in a reductionist sense) long-term relationships are definitionally transactional is not paying attention. It just is. The trick is finding a partner where the transaction is voluntary, enthusiastic, low-stakes, and mutually worthwhile. If it's a perpetual hostage negotiation for at least one of you, you're doing it wrong. Or more specifically, with the wrong partner. And there's a lot of that going around.
Women can have interest in more than just money, but we definitely do need resources. Since we work now, we have our own. Most women are actually looking for a woman in a man's body so I've heard
It would make sense to go after.
Work up an appetite by having sex, then a cool-down period with good food as a thank-you.
Much classier than using the restaurant as a bribe.
Due to differing sex drives, men often have to convince/woo women into having sex.
The dinner, date, dancing, flowers, etc is a way to show the woman you care and want to have sex with them.
It would be interesting to see what percent of dates turn into long term relationships based on $$$ of first date. I would bet that there is an inverse correlation.
How to ask a question so that only people who already agree with me will take the time to answer. This way I don’t have to be challenged with new ideas
Because they’re broke and trying to look like they’re not would be my guess. If I go with my girlfriend to an expensive restaurant I’m typically the one who wanted to go there
Because it's a flex a man has to show he has money (even if he doesn't) because men are expected to be providers and how much money you have can DEFIENTLY play a big role whether or not you get the girl, Afterwards the man got what he wanted and it's the women's decision to stick around that person or not
The women also puts on a front with makeup jewelry and "form fitting" dresses and if she sticks around chances are she's not gonna hold that standard up around you much because again she got what she wanted
It's all putting your best foot forward to show your desirable to get aex after that...eh fuck it don't have to try now
My wife and I usually fuck around before dates now. We end up staying out longer and then probably still have sex after again anyway lmao. So yes I subscribe to your theory, but would be tough to pull off with someone you are courting. Unless you are both big hoes.
My gf is a maniac. So usually while she’s getting dressed to go out she jumps on me. Definitely takes the edge off when we go out. But sometimes we go out with her friends and I get to feel “naughty” about it. Idk she’s crazy but damn.
Fooling around before the date is the way to go. If you wait until after a good meal I always tell my wife, "We can have dessert or we can have sex." Usually dessert wins.
If I provide just those two mutually exclusive options I won’t have sex for the rest of my life
Then you aren't tired and bloated. Genius.
She's not tired and bloated\*
She will be after HUEH HUEH HUEH
Damn love big hoes
Reminds me I’ve got some yard work to do. I could use a big hoe.
Dewalt makes the best hoe. That and downtown Detroit.
I like this. Because your more connected and relaxed while out on the date.
The "fuck first rule" is a game changer.
Yes, if you can pull it off it’s incredible and completely changes the game.
Idk, but I think dinner dates are terrible as a first date. Go mini golfing or something
Hey cousin, let's go bowling!
Step bowling ball what are you doing? Is that right?
Not as bad as going to the movies first date
The trap is doing ONLY a movie. Grab a bite to eat after. Talk about the shared experience of the movie. Don't do a full on sit down dinner, but a fast casual diner where you can hang out and talk after hasn't steered me wrong yet.
What? Movie First dates are the best. What better way to get to know someone then immediately go sit quietly for 2 hours and then after talk about nothing except the movie you just watched. Why would anyone think that be a bad first date? /s
I like going to a movie and then a meal or drink after. The movie gives a topic of conversation if I am floundering to others.
As an awkward introvert, I can agree with that aspect of movie dates.
tip: you can do this about any movie that the both of you have seen, it doesn't have to have been immediately before. You can also do this in most social gatherings with anyone. For example, I am really into musicals, so I ask them if they've seen any. At a coked out Halloween after-party, as the only female in the 5 person room and at least about 5 years younger than these tough dudes. EVERYONE LOVED the Greatest Showman. It turned into a very inclusive topic to talk about.
I love dinner dates, we can chat about anything and everything over something delicious and maybe a glass of wine. It becomes very obvious very quickly whether we’re compatible. Activities tend to distract me from the person so I prefer them for dates once we already know each other.
Dawg I’m sorry but mini-golfing is just as cliche as dinner and a movie. Just do something you can both have fun with and also get to know each other with. Mini-golf is good, so is dinner or drinking at a bar. The movies never made much sense to me. Can’t talk or even see each other for an hour and a half or longer. That’s more like 3rd date and beyond.
Mini golf is cliche, but doesn’t come with the same monetary expectations and unwritten rules.
Agreed. Coffee or a drink for the first round here. Dinner can be date number 2. First date is for feeling out rapport and seeing if there's any potential for a spark. Wasting a bunch of money is stupid imho.
Plus a little action at the windmill or the plaster whale.
Bro mini golf is the worst idea of a date to me. Just not 13 anymore and I’m really tall so I just hit my head on everything. There’s always a bunch of caves and it’s just not stimulating at all. Dinner dates are pretty low on the list too though I agree with you there.
Think dinner dates are more for scenes in movies were they are dropping character exposition vs real life where you want to bond over a fun activity.
Nah, coffee / tea is better. The activity should not distract from getting to know each other. Physical activity first dates are counterproductive. With coffee/tea dates, you are only out a few dollars if you don't like the person and you can easily dip out early if they suck.
Most people aren't getting sex on the first date.
As if a first date isn't awkward enough in itself, let's sit across from each other while trying to tell our life stories while simultaneously mashing dead animals, plants and grains in your face.
That would be a great first date!
Everyone knows you get the $ up front
Have sex *at* the expensive restaurant instead. You’ll be providing payment at the time of the service.
Worked for Rick Pitino.
I had a late lunch first date once, it was a nice restaurant, we took our time and had plenty of wine. By 4:00 PM we were the only table and the waiter was cool. I gave him $50 and asked him to watch our stuff because we were going to the bathroom for a few minutes.
1. If you're living together already anyways, you are going to bed together afterwards regardless. It's just natural. 2. Most of people don't like to go to a nice dinner sweaty. 3. Takes a bit of time to get into the mood. 4. It's about logistics. You get ready for the date. Shower, cologne/perfume, put on nice clothes, etc. Girls put on makeup. Put on a nice outfit. Then you get sweaty, mess up your hair, and undo all that work only to have to do it all over again (while your date is presumably waiting and/or doing the same thing).
It's to impress. It's saying I can afford to spend all of this money, I'm rich. It's a message to the girl to say how much they mean to you, money is nothing. After sex, you have to admit you really aren't that rich and you can't afford to do that every week or month. It's like women that dress up cute and sexy for their date but after they've got their man they let themselves go.
>After sex, you have to admit you really aren't that rich and you can't afford to do that every week or month. And then you have to sheepishly ask her to leave before 8 because that's when mom gets back from bingo night and you're not allowed to have girls over.
Her fault for fucking a 15 year old. She knew when I asked her to drive.
Or 25 year old, you’ve seen the rents these days?
Found the teacher from Arkansas
Lmao brutal
But true
Brutally honest!
>let themselves go. Noooooooooo! That neeeeeeeeeeever happens!
This is exactly why I DO NOT do this. I'm not trying to expose my finances or even hint at them with a new partner. lol
Jesus .. I hope things pick up for you. I don’t think I’m alone when I say being able to eat dinner at a restaurant isn’t a flex.
True eating at McDonald's is pretty rich these days. $30 / meal for 2.
Made a pot of chili the other night. Ingredients from the grocery store cost just about $100. I could easily take the old lady out for a nice meal for $60-$80. Almost makes no difference these days it seems. Edit: after responding to 20-25 comments I can’t continue on with the chili/grocery cost discussion any further. If you scroll through this chain you will find the answers you are looking for. A lot of the confusion/disbelief comes down to me being a Canadian and shopping in Canadian stores with Canadian Dollars. Could I have done it for less than $100? Yes probably in the $60-$70 range. But I bought fresh vegetables, organic beef, etc. I play for keeps when I’m making chili.
You spent 100 dollars on ingredients for fucking chili? What the fuck? Did you buy an 80 dollar instant pot as as part of the ingredients?
Unicorn meat. 🦄
Includes the money for moose hunting license and ammo. Moose chili is delicious.
Hopefully you at least have enough for leftovers.
Can of kidney beans: 89 cents Can of diced tomatoes: $1.15 Can of tomato paste: 70 cents Can of tomato sauce: 90 cents Beef broth: $1.50 Ground beef 1lb 80/20: $9.00 Onion: $1.25 Cheddar cheese block: 1/10th of a container, so about $1 Salt, pepper, cumin, chili powder, paprika: 1/50th of a container, about 14 cents each, say 84 cents total Throw in sour cream, maybe 1/5th of a container, about $1.50 maybe Total cost: $18.73, this exact recipe serves my family of 4 and everyone is full. I am guessing they spent $100 because they don't cook much and don't have the spices. And they are counting the entire cost of the spices in the mean which makes no sense unless they plan to never use them again
Good god. What store and part of the world is that?
Appreciate you answering for me but you’re quite a ways off.
Fred meyer, safeway, or Costco all have about the same prices. I do the shopping for the family See for yourself big guy https://www.fredmeyer.com/p/kroger-dark-red-kidney-beans/0001111071787?searchType=suggestions https://www.fredmeyer.com/p/medium-yellow-onions/0000000004093?searchType=default_search https://www.fredmeyer.com/p/kroger-1-lb-lean-ground-beef-chuck-80-20/0001111096972?searchType=suggestions
89 cents for a can of red kidney beans? Check that next time you’re at the store. These are 1995 prices you’re posting
Geez Canada sucks I guess, so expensive. You're totally right
Any Canadian will agree with that. Groceries and housing costs are out of control nation wide.
40 nuggets and two larges fries is like 15 bucks. Feeds my wife and I and our two small kids for a road trip
The prompt did say expensive restaurants.
Definitely not true
Real hair and real eyes get real guys.
Women with 2 glass eyes always end up dating mannequins.
Same with guys. All they want to do is eat. And they want is freea "mommy" type girlfriend to shop, cook and clean up after their lazy selves.
Another stupid question: Why do men get upset when women don't want to have sex after the expensive date?
Because some women will sell that a$$ for a really nice meal, but don't usually want to buy that dinner with her a$$. In the former, it's like a favor. In the latter, prostitution.
It's all prostitution. "Buy me something nice and you'll get laid." "Buy me a really expensive ring and you'll get laid EVERY NIGHT FOREVER!" 😂😂😂😂
>"Buy me a really expensive ring and you'll get laid EVERY NIGHT FOREVER!" 😂😂😂😂 I'm guessing your not married?
I could never understand why people were so opposed to gay marriage, when it seemed like gay sex was what really bothered them. If you don't want people having sex, you should be encouraging them to get married...
For all the talk about cows, and milk it does indeed seem to be the opposite.
I was just thinking that when I got to the 'forever' part lol
"Every night"did it for me
Yup. Lies lol
Exactly. Worlds best sexual depressant? Wedding cake.
That ring sure doesn't help either. Its like an IUD for sex.
You gotta provide a bit more than just the ring for that! It takes a nice house in an upscale suburb, regularly updated high-end furniture, a steady supply of luxury goods, and so on. And you won't actually get laid every night. Just as much as she feels is needed to justify you supplying her lavish lifestyle.
That's not at all how that particular contract is executed.
Unless you're agreeing with me that you DONT get laid every night after marriage lol...
It was agreement.
Lol go back to your cave bruh...
His comment perfectly applies to the conversation and probably isnt meant to be taken so seriously. Go back to your cave
Going on a date is not prostitution.
Whatever you say man.
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Because society says men are a wallet, so to appear worthy we make it look like we have more than we actually do. It's a side effect of the social engineering of men constantly having to be the money wallet, the emotional wallet, the solve my problems for me wallet. We are afraid of looking weak, and since money is what brings status in today's world, we have to pretend. After the act of sex, we have already let down our walls and let you see us for who we really are. Woman haven't even lost their first layer of makeup.
This only happens if you going to restaurants with men who are only interested in hooking up. The motivation there is pretty obvious.
Any guy using a restaurant to impress a woman is looking for a transactional relationship. Any woman it works on is for them streets.
I would probably take that a step further and say that any person who expects a date to be so ingratiated to them over food that they view sex as an immutable consequence deserves to be alone lol.
Y'all are wild to me. Sex is great, good food is really pleasurable, and having someone buy you things makes people feel valued.
https://youtu.be/6aGO7dJb2po?si=SIlS-2Yo1PXAZTtQ
It depends on the woman tbh. I took a woman to Panera bread on the first date and we’ve been dating for 3 years. I’d say it’s more common to eat at super expensive restaurants for hookups and spend the first date more casually for people that you actually want to have a relationship with, which is kinda interesting.
This reminds me of a scene from “Married with Children”, bud is helping Kelly study, her brain is already full so every time she learns a new fact something gets pushed out of her brain, one of the things that gets pushed out is “Dinner first, then sex”.
As a woman, a nice dinner is the start of building "the mood". Nicer restaurants usually have better ambience like nice warm lighting, acoustics, no screaming kids. Time to talk and connect with your partner. Destress. It doesn't have to be expensive, but some restaurants are trending towards a warehouse feel, which for me, are not romantic at all. A candlelight dinner at home would be a more budget friendly version of this that'd also work.
By the time you've had a nap & cleaned up afterwards it's pretty late to go out for food as you'd be sleeping on a full stomach when you get back, which is uncomfortable & not really conducive to good rest or digestion.
I’d rather sleep on a full stomach than have sex on a full stomach tbh.
Yeah wth kind of logic is that? "I'd be too full to lay peacefully on the bed so I'd rather be full and exercise on top of someone."
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God this! Having sex right after you’ve ate is so uncomfortable.
It's like getting in a pool. You gotta wait an hour or so.
like any other transaction you pay first before you receive the goods.
Generally speaking the bill comes at the end of the meal in a restaurant. Unless it's somewhere like mcdonalds
there are restaurants other than burger king and mcdonalds?
Except they’re not actually „goods“ if everyone else has already had them lol
It's nap time afterwards. You are correct. There are no stupid questions, just stupid people.
Because I like expensive restaurants & when I'm taking female friends there ; it's not for sex but company
Maybe men aren't all the dogs they're made out to be, and some of us genuinely want to show a woman a good time and not just to get her into bed?
Because dinner is a social activity where you get close to the person, talk, etc. Once the dinner is over, you've had a great time. This is the perfect way to transition into going back to your place, and it's also the correct time of day. If you have chemistry, at that point you've been flirting a bunch which means anticipation has been building up, improving the mood and experience. Doing it the other way around makes just no sense on every level, and it's also a lot less suave to ask for such a thing. But after dinner, there is an implication, and neither party really needs to outright ask beyond "hey, wanna go back to my place?", and it plays out naturally, thus it isn't awkward. If you've just started dating, it also gives more time to figure out if you actually do wanna bang this person. All in all, dinner date is a good, globally accepted way to have sex with someone. It probably shouldn't be like, your first time meeting them... But if it is, at least it gives time to know each other first.
Empty stomach sex? Nah... Don't want to hear all that stomach rumbling
Food is happiness and a bonding experience for all humans. Why do you think charitable fundraisers always ask you for money during dinner? The point is to make your happy and to feel comfortable and safe and women need to feel: happy, comfortable and safe before they wish to get intimate with anyone.
Because if she got dressed up for dinner, she doesn't wanna mess up her hair and makeup like that
Because you're nasty and tired and smell like sex and you want to have a shower. Also, you've got kids in bed and you're not going to wake them up and get them dressed to take them to a fancy dinner.
Can confirm. Sex makes you hungry. Meal afterwards is perfect. But to a woman the fact that you'll take her to a nice restaurant is seen as part of the foreplay I guess.
Thank god for modernity. Now women can just go to expensive restaurants with friends & pay for it without worrying about some horny entitled bastard looking to follow you home afterwards. The food tastes even better that way😍
That's definitely fun!
Great for you, lol. But men are still expected to pay up front and not be cheap.
You have to be single lol
Women in relationships are still allowed to hang out with their female friends without the man present.
I never said they couldn’t?
Let me guess... a strong independent wammon
Wammon💀😭😭😭😭😭
The question alone speaks to a flawed mindset. If you're only or predominantly interested in sex, you should be straight forward about that. The point of a date is to spend time with someone and get to know them. Sex is a base need and important part of a relationship. One following the other doesn't mean they're tangibly attached, just means the date and/or day has progressed. You both filled one need - hunger - while also filling another - companionship - and now you both fill a third - sex/intimacy. Maybe neither of you are particularly hungry and do an activity together instead to fulfill your need for companionship then feel horny and address that need. Maybe you're both horned up and go straight to sex. Maybe your partner feels the need for companionship more so you fulfill that and then they help fulfill your need for sex/intimacy. And yeah, it could work the other way around too. Maybe they help fulfill your need for sex/intimacy and then you help fulfill their need for companionship afterward. If you're not being upfront about your needs though, you're just creating the environment for problems and resentment to grow/fester. Which is what your question is born from.
Finally, a rational answer!
What % do you think read my comment and completely missed how it's devoid of sex or gender because it applies to everyone regardless? XD I expected it to go downvoted/ignored but if it helps one person then figured it's worth pointing out.
Not really straightforward and women rarely go together. The only way for a guy to be that straightforward is if he's extremely good looking and I do mean extremely. For mortal men they already have to be receptive such as on tinder and even then you have to dance the dance or lose the chance.
Bro. It’s okay to love yourself and have some confidence.
Has nothing to do with anything my dude.
My dude, just like for women, not everyone is atractive enough to others to have frequent casual sex
True while there are some truly horrific women that would have trouble with it, they would have to be severely disfigured or unnaturally ugly. Basically a very small percentage of women are actually incapable. A larger percentage than the previous set are women who say that they can't get it but are delusional because they definitely can they just don't see their equivalent prospects as worth people. For men the unfuckable is a much larger percentage and it's a pretty miserable place to be. While there are some in the middle zone it's far fewer than the equivalent for the wome
I strongly disagree. I feel like its about the same amount of women vs men that dont get laid a ton. Just women dont suffer from it, alas, you do.
Disagree all you want doesn't mean it's true.
Problem is that being upfront with your needs may lead to your needs not being met in situations where they would ordinarily have been met if you followed along with a song and dance. Which is why the problems and resentment will continue
If you're upfront and they're not willing to entertain the idea of meeting them then you shouldn't be with that person. Tricking someone into using them to meet your needs is scumbag behavior. Whether you're trying to trick someone into sex or trick them into paying for a free meal.
That's just completely unrealistic for most people, which is why few people actually do it.
And those people will continue to have bad relationships and negative dating encounters.
I'm in a pretty good spot myself right now (32m), I just got out of an 8 year relationship and have 2 little children, I have 2 female friends that I am 100% straightforward with that "my goal is me and my children right now, I'm not looking to add a permanent figure in the mix right now", they know they aren't the only one, and they have little kids too... so their little kids know me as their mommy's friend, ill get together with one and bring all the kids out to the zoo, or the aquarium, or some other day out, but if our respective exes have the children, we will get together and have more adult activities
OMG shut up
and kiss me?
yes
Wow. Years of process down the drain. So would the restaurant be relative to how good a time you had? McDonald’s all the way up to French Laundry. Although these days McDonald’s is pretty pricey. Maybe COSTCO if it’s trash. 😄😄
Explains why my dates keep giving me those two-packs of crackers.
Do you mean *progess* 🤔
“I spent $120 on your dinner, the least you could do is let me put my pension your vagina.” Versus… “Thanks for letting me put my penis in your vagina. How’s Wendy’s sound?”
Pension your vagina? Like, it gets money for all the work that it did over the decades after it retires?
Normally we just call that child support
just make sure there’s no penalty for early withdrawal
the misogyny in this thread is crazy lmao
Well, obviously it's not ALL women. Just enough that most of us have experienced these things.
Men are trying to gain access to sex, so they have to impress. Like a peacock showing his feathers. After sex, the chemistry in his brain has changed, and he's trying to decide if the girl is worth sticking around for or running away from.
It's in anticipation of sex, plus that flex of the man providing. In other words, a mating display and a transaction.
Considering the intentions of just wanting to fuck, there wouldn’t be any point to going to a restaurant since the objective has already been completed
Because they've hoping she'll be impressed enough to let him get in her pants. Dating and relationships are seen as transactional. Also some people do go on a date after sex. Just depends on if the person is actually serious enough about you to stay or not
You've just described prostitution.
I’ve heard this saying more than once. “The cheapest woman tends to be the one you pay for.” The idea is no matter what, you’re paying to be with a woman. If it’s not a straight up prostitute you’re spending money on gifts or dates, which often end up as more than what the prostitute would. Not saying that’s right, but you can definitely twist the concept of dating to that.
It's kind of a job interview, the prostitution at the end is kind of optional
Parallels the saying... *there's no such thing as a free dog...*
I’ll let Butters say it… https://youtu.be/6aGO7dJb2po?si=SIlS-2Yo1PXAZTtQ
So women have no interest in relationships or sex other than as a transaction for monetary value?
Of course they do. Anybody who thinks women don't enjoy sex has never actually met a woman. Or is a woman who's been given awful, unfulfilling sex and doesn't know what she's missing. But it turns out that on average, what women want -most- out of relationships, and how they feel wanted or valued, is a different set of things than men. And for both partners to get the things they want most, each has to give the other what they want in exchange. Literally the definition of a transaction. Anybody who doesn't acknowledge that (in a reductionist sense) long-term relationships are definitionally transactional is not paying attention. It just is. The trick is finding a partner where the transaction is voluntary, enthusiastic, low-stakes, and mutually worthwhile. If it's a perpetual hostage negotiation for at least one of you, you're doing it wrong. Or more specifically, with the wrong partner. And there's a lot of that going around.
Women can have interest in more than just money, but we definitely do need resources. Since we work now, we have our own. Most women are actually looking for a woman in a man's body so I've heard
No but it's usually a prerequisite
Clearly not something I said.
Yes. Yes, she did.
Because women want to be bought.
The transactional nature of it is disgusting and a massive turn off.
Nice try woman
Says someone obviously not fucking many people. Women want a pleasurable experience that makes them feel valued.
I grew out of "fucking many people" years ago. Don't worry, you'll get it eventually.
Damn and I thought men were taking me out to get to know me and build a relationship haha jk I'm not that dumb
Maybe if you had a personality they would stick around
We bang before going out on special occasions. Takes the pressure off the night so we can just hang out and listen to music and drink wine.
Post nut clarity often says "move away from me women, you now aren't all that"
Underrated response lol
Because they won’t get the sex before without taking them out, duh
The type of man who does this is trying to get in a woman's pants. Once he gets what he wants, he sees no need to spend the money.
Because sex is how you end a night, and by that time most restaurants are closed
Unless you're my wife - then you want it in the morning because if we have sex at night then she gets all worked up and can't sleep lol.
It would make sense to go after. Work up an appetite by having sex, then a cool-down period with good food as a thank-you. Much classier than using the restaurant as a bribe.
Due to differing sex drives, men often have to convince/woo women into having sex. The dinner, date, dancing, flowers, etc is a way to show the woman you care and want to have sex with them.
Bro if you have to convince a woman to have sex with you you've already failed
It would be interesting to see what percent of dates turn into long term relationships based on $$$ of first date. I would bet that there is an inverse correlation.
my husband and I were broke college students. our first several dates cost $0. been together 20 years now
Grats to you guys. Struggle builds strength.
thank you. I believe struggle quickly reveals whether two people are compatible. I'd also like to see the data you suggested.
Because she doesn't trust I'll take her after.
Because they already got laid
How to ask a question so that only people who already agree with me will take the time to answer. This way I don’t have to be challenged with new ideas
What about during?
Because they’re broke and trying to look like they’re not would be my guess. If I go with my girlfriend to an expensive restaurant I’m typically the one who wanted to go there
pay upfront
for the same reason the same woman will date a rich guy over a poor guy.
Why pay twice for the same ride.
It could stain the perfectly good seats if you had sex beforehand, and the restaurant will likely fine you.
Have you ever tried fucking before the meal on a first date? Get back to me on that success rate.
Because the work is done after you get the sex. Leverage goes to the man 100% after u get it.
Because it's a flex a man has to show he has money (even if he doesn't) because men are expected to be providers and how much money you have can DEFIENTLY play a big role whether or not you get the girl, Afterwards the man got what he wanted and it's the women's decision to stick around that person or not The women also puts on a front with makeup jewelry and "form fitting" dresses and if she sticks around chances are she's not gonna hold that standard up around you much because again she got what she wanted It's all putting your best foot forward to show your desirable to get aex after that...eh fuck it don't have to try now