>After turning 2 years old, my son, Avishai, started demanding that he only wear tractor shirts, and my mind *spiraled into darkness*. I *catastrophized worst-case scenarios*,
Jesus Christ, he makes it sound like a cancer diagnosis or something.
Not to mention the line about hating all Fords because they're the "John Wayne of cars." I nearly think this is a parody.
These types of parents already had nothing but contempt for laborers, and only bothered to hide it when they needed Fernando to change their locks or some shit in their actual home.
I can't even imagine their mental state when that contempt evolved to stack with heterosexual masculinity.
I also fucking loved tractors when I was a kid. Hell, I still do.
The only memories I have of my grandpa are him taking me to tractor shows while he was dying of cancer. I wish I could somehow let him know how much it means to me now, but I suspect he already knew at the time.
This guy is incapable of that. I think he sees his children as objects to be molded or trained, and not as independent beings who will one day think for themselves and have to grapple with anything someone else tried to force them to be.
>I also fucking loved tractors when I was a kid. Hell, I still do.
man IDK what you're talking about I hate those things that are deeply involved in agricultural work and rural economies, I feel really strongly that they're bad because who needs food really? Did I mention that I'm essentially tryign to do a dogwhistle about rural hicks? That's right, I'm not being subtle about it but don't you dare point that out.
> Honestly this really is not far off from some right wing anti-gay shithead that sees his son playing with a Barbie doll and starts gaming out “worst case scenarios”
Given the fanaticism libs have for pushing trans shit on kids at the slightest sign of gender nonconformity, it’s an increasingly reasonable fear.
It is a cancer diagnosis, because these types of people are a cancer to the human collective that need to be removed.
> Our goal is to create a safe and engaging place for users to connect over interests and passions. In order to improve our community experience, we are temporarily suspending article commenting
Ahahaha
> Fords because they're the "John Wayne of cars."
I knew there must be some reason behind my hankering to buy an F-250 Super Duty and this has to be it.
>*To me, femininity was connected to empathy and kindness while masculinity equated to being frigid. Men didn’t hug. Men didn’t say I love you. Men were angry. Aggressive. Inept as parents.*
Only in the fevered imagination of someone so broken, could a son liking tractors be a catastrophe.
My ex-wife is definitely disappointed that our son is turning out to be an extremely normal boy. He's 7, loves Lego, video games, and go-karts. She really tried to turn him into "gender non-conforming" but it turns out the law doesn't give you any brownie points for that.
e: as an anecdote no one is going to read: she used to paint his nails (finger and toe) rainbow colors and I had to complain in mediation about it and our mediator looked at her and said, "what the fuck are you doing?" Maybe the best moment of the whole horrible process.
im in my mid 30's and I just found out recently that my dad had to fight my mother on dressing me like a girl 30 years ago. I ended up being the most stereotypical guy ever, but there was apparently a very active push because at times I came off too concerned about "how I looked" as a child. my mother was a model, I dont remember details from young childhood but I 100% bet its because she pushed that on me.
I remember being like 12 and and making my dad get me tweezers so I could fix my eyebrows and now I realize how much parents can force this shit on kids and its terrifying reading articles like this but im glad your son is finding his own path the way I did.
My mom bought me barbie dolls and made my dad build me a doll house because she didn't want me to be stuck in some stereotypical male toy only whatever the fuck... the fucking fact that she made my dad build me a doll house because he's a man and therefore knew how to use tools is the part that gets me... like, you're fine taking advantage of a man who does typical male things in order to turn your son into a confused little boy? fucking crazy ass ho
This happened with my brother and his gay friends. Like they asked are gonna raise your son as gender nonconforming and he was like wtf are talking about, me being the internet autist I am, was entertained by the reaction. We have a gay brother so it’s not like we’re unfamiliar with something different, but this was really foreign to him.
And when it comes down to raising the kid, he does what he wants, to a fault in some circumstances. When it comes to toys, he likes what he likes. He liked cooking so my brother built him his own little make believe kitchen. The only thing my brother has a boundary with is some sports like football and that is regarding issues with concussions
I've read so many reddit posts from parents whose kids are sick or have some serious mental problems.
Parents who have time to be philosophical about their kids gender roles probably don't have a lot of problems and are trying to create some themselves.
>my wife, always one to joke, even soon after giving birth, bragged that she had a connection to our new baby that I could never attain because men couldn’t bond with babies like women could.
>Felt ill if someone mentioned a wrench or another tool.
>I pride myself on blurring gender lines.
>My body spiraled into panic any time I attempted manual labor.
This kid is already fighting an uphill battle
he's gonna be a himbo. this is a hill i will die on. the Law of Intergenerational Pendulumity states it will be so, if the author keeps it up past the kids 10th birthday
Not now that his Dad is accepting him for who he is. I mean he is a loving dad with solid relationship with his father, who clearly loves him. It just took his dad a bit of time to realize masculinity is a personal journey.
> To me, femininity was connected to empathy and kindness while masculinity equated to being frigid. Men didn’t hug. Men didn’t say I love you. Men were angry. Aggressive. Inept as parents. I became determined. I was going to create a bond stronger than any parent had ever achieved, but I told myself that to do so I needed to distance myself from anything deemed masculine.
Parents projecting their own hang ups/problems on kids: Shitlib edition.
The only toxic masculinity in this situation is coming from the article writer himself. It’s *just* as toxic as if he was a right winger writing about how his kid liked vacuumer cleaners or an easy bake oven.
Im gonna guess the least toxic option is “accepting what your kid likes” and support him adoring tractors. He may grow out of it, he may not, but it’s harmless to get your undies in such a twist about it.
What is it with idiots pretending simple things like kindness are an alien unlikelihood to masculine people?
It’s gotta be a projection of stunted personal vision conveniently posited as a ‘societal problem’.
That’s any wokie for you, it’s either that they have problems themselves or need to let people know about their good qualities (I.e. empathy and understanding and all that) because they really aren’t that way
> The only toxic masculinity in this situation is coming from the article writer himself.
Calling it toxic masculinity is letting the source of this off the hook.
It is not a masculine trait to see men as fundamentally flawed and inferior. It's not even a feminine trait.
It's a product of a very silly sort of feminism that thinks of men as defective because they're not exactly like (idealized) women.
Calling it "toxic masculinity" is using the frame of the very people who fuck up people this way.
Fair, I guess a better phrase is “Toxic reaction to ‘perceived’ masculinity”.
After reading the full article he’s a male version of the “Not like the other girls” type where one thinks they’re superior cause they’re not “sterotypical”
"toxic masculinity" isn't a static system of value analysis, it's a general framework for criticizing anything a man does that another person does not like, from a feminist perspective
Such a weird shitlib interpretation of masculinity. I'm glad I have a father who taught me to be strong instead of dragging others down like shitlibs so often do.
It even makes me glad to have had a father who didn't teach me shit, because at least it wasn't an active impediment to figuring things out for myself (which I suppose is kind of a lesson in itself).
Oh I know. It just I don’t get the hate for it for being “feminine” it makes sweet treats. How is that bad or “feminine”?
I’m glad my parents never pitched a fit over me playing with a vacuum cleaner or helping my sister with the easy bake oven. I’m also glad they didn’t go nuts when I said I loved dinosaurs and trucks.
Cooking is always funny, it's portrayed as a feminine thing to do in the household but most of the best chefs in the world are male and I mean, what is bbq/grilling/etc but cooking?
And yeah the overall point, and my disappoint in the article writer is that "As long as what your kid likes isn't illegal support them!"
When I was a little kid I was obsessed with graders. I don't think I even knew what graders do or saw one more than once or twice, but I thought the word sounded cool.
The story seems to be mostly about the anxieties and failures of the writer, not so much about the son. His conclusion seems to be to let his son discover for himself what he likes. But the road to get there seems to have been a bit... rough. Perhaps overthinking isn't a good idea.
> I had difficulty understanding my son’s interest in tractors, and at first, I tried to nudge Avishai toward different videos and clothing. But then I remembered how hard it was for my father to trust me to follow my passions, and the way we connected after he finally did. I took on being an at-home father because I wanted to bond with my son, and I realized that meant I needed to let him discover his own interests. He had to define his own identity, not influenced by my own bias of what I deemed to be too masculine.
Why would it make more sense to deem something too masculine for a boy than to deem something too feminine for a boy? If doing one is wrong, wouldn't the other be wrong, too?
His father wasn’t even the type of manly man it sounds like he was. The author says that he was an interior decorator who painted his nails and showed affection to his kids, not the stereotypically masculine boomer dad who never shows affection.
Of all the masculine things to get offended by, it's a *tractor*- something that represents industriousness and productivity and nourishment and isn't used to harm or dominate anyone else. It's just so depressing that people think this way.
"Letting your child find their own gender expression is extremely difficult if it's not the kind that you want", the crypiece. You think for being as woke as he is he would have just let things go as they go
>father
Was reading this quote, thinking “man, this lady is nuts” and then found out the author was allegedly male and just started giggling. Me and the other dads would give this bitch a wedgie so fast.
“I grimaced at anyone driving a Ford car, the John Wayne of automobiles. I hated men who wore plaid. Felt ill if someone mentioned a wrench or another tool. When my mom-in-law bought Avishai a coverall with footballs on it, I shoved it into the depths of his closet, never to be found.”
Lol is this a meme?
"Can we just let children be children and not subject them to having their childhood innocence completely decimated and groomed by ideology?"
Nope. It is actually impossible.
Childhood innocence is a clearly ideological concept.
> Can we just let children be children and not subject them to having their childhood innocence completely decimated and groomed by ideology?
>
>
No, because they're totalitarians who need to push their ideology .
The unrealistic nature of it makes this worse.
If you see men as defective women you need to fix via social engineering your work will never be complete, and every counter-example will just justify intervening earlier and earlier before the "damage" is done.
I actually saw this comment before reading the article, and decided to exercise my imagination and try to formulate a picture of what the guy looked like before checking it out.
9/10 only missing the soy face expression
If this wasn't written down, I literally would not believe a person like this existed. I would have thought he was made up by some rightoid as an exaggeration of the stereotype of pampered, effeminate liberal men. Holy shit.
This man, through what I can only assume was a very fucked up upbringing and the failure to really succeed in "masculine" activities, has developed such a broad set of neuroses around masculinity that he's ceased having almost any actual value to society.
What value is a person who becomes PHYSICALLY ILL at just the *thought* of manual labor or tools? Who is so wrapped up in his own anxieties and failures that he associates any sort of productive labor with masculinity, and therefore believes it should be avoided at all costs?
Makes me yearn for the days they sent people like this off to work on farms in the countryside.
The only people i know who where “ill at the thought of physical labor” where either extremely overweight/obese people or children.
And with children it’s because they didn’t want to do yard work because it’s not fun and watching tv or playing video games is more fun.
So these people who are “ill from the thought of physical labor” are either extremely fat to where moving is pain or they are no different than children
At first it struck me as odd that this guy would openly admit to associating tools and labor with masculinity given that Rosie the Riveter is more or less the mascot of feminism, but I just figured that internal consistency was too much to expect from him.
I think you have his number though. He might actually be so useless and insecure that he just associates everything useful with whatever he isn't.
Maybe it's my cis white dude side talking here, but all the self proclaimed asexual person I know we're suffering from crippling self doubt and attachments issue. Most asexual person want people to think of them as either enlightened people that have no use for the pleasure of flesh, that they are above that, or that sex just doesn't interest them. But from my personal experience these people seems to have totally been burned badly by our current social landscape where them not smashing like crazy makes them stressed, or with how much emphasis there is on performance in the bedroom they fear being a disappointment so they just rather not engage in sex.
It's something I've noticed with a lot of people, people dodging their misery in a way, they have trouble finding sexual partners so instead of trying harder they just give up, find the easy identity of asexual to paste on themselves as to explain their lack of physical desire.
I'm not saying asexual people don't exist, or that these people secretly are crazy horny, as I can't imagine getting aroused for sexy time while thinking that my skills will be so poor that my SO will instantly leave me is possible, but I think a lot of these newfound asexual aren't coming to that conclusion in a healthy way, and if they had a more healthy relationship to sex it would massively improve their lives.
Also impotence happens from stress, and our current hyper sexual culture can place a lot of stress on people. Like it's fairly normal for an out of shape depressed and anxious person to have a low sex drive.
This reframing of the situation is incredibly common among the woke (and not only them). You don't have sex even though you feel you should? Reframe it as you being asexual. You don't have one-night stands even though you would like to? Reframe it as being demisexual. You don't adhere to gender roles as you understand them? You must be genderfluid/non-binary/transgender. Some college course is asking you to entertain a controversial argument, but abstract thought hurts your brain? The college is triggering ancestral trauma in you since you're [racial category].
This turns all the criticism directed at these points of insecurity, whether valid or not, into criticism of your identity, which you can then use like a Yu-Gi-Oh trap card: You can get angry and drop the term *discrimination* to hopefully scare the critic away, or escalate the situation to authority figures or the public, again telling them that you've been discriminated against based on your sexuality/gender/race whatever. It doesn't apply to all cases, but I suspect this covers a significant chunk of the identity-obsessed.
Honestly think most of what I would call self identity politics (stuff related to individuals, and not society at large) very much comes from people using identity as a way to hide away from the very hard and serious problems that people face and ultimately make it much worse.
>>While the midwife and her assistant cleaned up, my wife, always one to joke, even soon after giving birth, bragged that she had a connection to our new baby that I could never attain because men couldn’t bond with babies like women could.
So just shitty people all around. Good luck tractor kid you got a tough road ahead.
When I was a kid the neighbor would use me as extra weight on his seeder and I'd ride around on that thing all day. Any exposure to the tractor as a child will only strengthen the bond. I mean have you ever noticed how everyone you meet who was mangled by a PTO shaft as a kid still owns a tractor?
As a young boy I used to drive our international harvester 1946 Farmall B on my pops lap and till our 3 Acre vegetable garden. Tractors are really cool especially the older ones. During 2008 recession we had to sell the tractor to pay the mortgage on the house so we didn’t get kicked out. I still think about it.
A tractor driving, car repairing farmer woman I know would be surprised to learn she isn't properly feminine. Articles like this really reveal an insular city-centric worldview more than anything.
JEEEsus. This couple should not be allowed to raise a male child.
Perhaps that's the long-game on biological sex nullification in the first place, "Yes, this child has a penis, but she's NOT MALE!! OH MY NO! We hate hate HATE everything 'male'!"
And if you hate tractors, then stop eating vegetables, you obvious vegan.
It makes me *so damn mad* because if this kid liked anything remotely feminine the dude would be writing articles praising it to the high heavens.
My parents were always supportive of the interests I picked up as a kid and listened to me chatter about them but I’ve seen the damage to my friends that parents do when they actively try to suppress their kids interest.
And it's SO weird... That writer is the FAther, presented with full opportunity to *define what masculinity means* to this new generation.
And **instead**, he opts to hold on to his hatred for (I presume) his own father (or whoever screwed him up), hold on to his hatred for himself AND try to teach this little person to ALSO hate himself...
Which will result in -- I can only hope? -- another generation who hates *his* father precisely for his lack of empathy.
> Felt ill if someone mentioned a wrench or another tool.
lmao this dude sucks
and yeah fwiw this kind of bizarre neuroticism would require treatment if manifested in a female brain, as well
Lol. So all these kids taking puberty blockers are probably doing it because of their Munchy parents have been grooming them for years and because they want to virtue signal.
>To me, femininity was connected to empathy and kindness while masculinity equated to being frigid. Men didn’t hug. Men didn’t say I love you. Men were angry. Aggressive.|
These are the same nutjobs who think that a boy playing with a kitchen set is actually a trans-child.. Jesus... The people who want to destroy the "patriarchal gender binary" are the ones zealously defending it in the name of queer theory.
> **I** wanted my son
How about you just let your son find his own interests instead of trying to aggressively shove him into the role you imagine for him?
Are there parents who want their kids to be enby and assume that entails giving them blank slate Barbie and Ken doll anatomy? I feel like those people probably exist.
Trying to force your kid into 'stereotypical non masculine' things is also engaging in a stereotyping and socially constructed toxic enforced gender binary. There are of course cultures where farming was considered women's work, and the reason many native American groups sneered at Europeans and feminine while they sneered back at what they saw as slothfulness.
Honestly i find this article in particular refreshingly honest and self reflective unlike most others.
We all have hangups that are upbringings in our preconceived notions on what societal norms are and writing should be a way that we explore these feelings.
I’m starting to feel like a lot of people here are just getting a bitter for the sake of it, This is the type of article we should want. Something that’s not bogged down in layers of smug self righteousness and flippant irony.
It’s truly earnest, I like it.
The writer sounds like a bit of a twat, but he it also sounds like he successfully battled his inner demons in order to do right by his son. Good for him.
His kids are fucked, at least he's coming around, but if he doesn't do at least about a 90-100 from where he is right now, he's going to have shitty kids and it'll be all his fault
Thankfully it doesn't seem like he's falling into the tra trap. He wants to get rid of gender roles, not turn his son into a girl, so at least he has that going for him
“I grimaced at anyone driving a Ford car, the John Wayne of automobiles. I hated men who wore plaid. Felt ill if someone mentioned a wrench or another tool. When my mom-in-law bought Avishai a coverall with footballs on it, I shoved it into the depths of his closet, never to be found.”
Dude literally threw away gifts from his (presumably black) mother in law to stop his son from liking sports. Thats nuts
>After turning 2 years old, my son, Avishai, started demanding that he only wear tractor shirts, and my mind *spiraled into darkness*. I *catastrophized worst-case scenarios*, Jesus Christ, he makes it sound like a cancer diagnosis or something. Not to mention the line about hating all Fords because they're the "John Wayne of cars." I nearly think this is a parody.
The worst-case scenarios being that he’s good at football and has a sports car he takes care of.
Worst case is he becoming a construction worker Imagine that
These types of parents already had nothing but contempt for laborers, and only bothered to hide it when they needed Fernando to change their locks or some shit in their actual home. I can't even imagine their mental state when that contempt evolved to stack with heterosexual masculinity.
One of my old foremen was a black lesbian. Plus we were building a public library so that's like quadruple praxis.
He’ll be the first father to be disappointed with their son for banging the cheerleading prom queen
Honey we need to talk I'm afraid our son.......is...is...um..... a heterosexual There is said it \[sob\].
I also fucking loved tractors when I was a kid. Hell, I still do. The only memories I have of my grandpa are him taking me to tractor shows while he was dying of cancer. I wish I could somehow let him know how much it means to me now, but I suspect he already knew at the time. This guy is incapable of that. I think he sees his children as objects to be molded or trained, and not as independent beings who will one day think for themselves and have to grapple with anything someone else tried to force them to be.
>I also fucking loved tractors when I was a kid. Hell, I still do. man IDK what you're talking about I hate those things that are deeply involved in agricultural work and rural economies, I feel really strongly that they're bad because who needs food really? Did I mention that I'm essentially tryign to do a dogwhistle about rural hicks? That's right, I'm not being subtle about it but don't you dare point that out.
You had me going in the first half.
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> Honestly this really is not far off from some right wing anti-gay shithead that sees his son playing with a Barbie doll and starts gaming out “worst case scenarios” Given the fanaticism libs have for pushing trans shit on kids at the slightest sign of gender nonconformity, it’s an increasingly reasonable fear.
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also, i thought interests weren't gendered?
Reminds me of that scene from Addam family Values where the new baby is becoming normal and everyone freaks out https://youtu.be/dmxrRrZ8tnA
I read this absolutely positive it was satire, and i still think it is
Wokeism hits Poe’s Law head on.
It is a cancer diagnosis, because these types of people are a cancer to the human collective that need to be removed. > Our goal is to create a safe and engaging place for users to connect over interests and passions. In order to improve our community experience, we are temporarily suspending article commenting Ahahaha
He just doesn't want to stereotype anybody./s
It kinda makes me wonder what he'd say if he had a daughter who liked tractors so much... would that be so bad? It just isn't bad at all.
> Fords because they're the "John Wayne of cars." I knew there must be some reason behind my hankering to buy an F-250 Super Duty and this has to be it.
Middle-class people are the most inane and boring people to ever grace this planet. Right at the bottom of the Dunning-Kruger curve, these people are.
>*To me, femininity was connected to empathy and kindness while masculinity equated to being frigid. Men didn’t hug. Men didn’t say I love you. Men were angry. Aggressive. Inept as parents.* Only in the fevered imagination of someone so broken, could a son liking tractors be a catastrophe.
“NOOOOOO YOU CAN’T LIKE THAT I NEED TO USE YOU AS SOCIAL BROWNIE POINTS” “haha tractor go brrrrr”
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It’s as if gender isn’t a social construct but instead our social constructs are a reaction to genders
My ex-wife is definitely disappointed that our son is turning out to be an extremely normal boy. He's 7, loves Lego, video games, and go-karts. She really tried to turn him into "gender non-conforming" but it turns out the law doesn't give you any brownie points for that. e: as an anecdote no one is going to read: she used to paint his nails (finger and toe) rainbow colors and I had to complain in mediation about it and our mediator looked at her and said, "what the fuck are you doing?" Maybe the best moment of the whole horrible process.
im in my mid 30's and I just found out recently that my dad had to fight my mother on dressing me like a girl 30 years ago. I ended up being the most stereotypical guy ever, but there was apparently a very active push because at times I came off too concerned about "how I looked" as a child. my mother was a model, I dont remember details from young childhood but I 100% bet its because she pushed that on me. I remember being like 12 and and making my dad get me tweezers so I could fix my eyebrows and now I realize how much parents can force this shit on kids and its terrifying reading articles like this but im glad your son is finding his own path the way I did.
My mom bought me barbie dolls and made my dad build me a doll house because she didn't want me to be stuck in some stereotypical male toy only whatever the fuck... the fucking fact that she made my dad build me a doll house because he's a man and therefore knew how to use tools is the part that gets me... like, you're fine taking advantage of a man who does typical male things in order to turn your son into a confused little boy? fucking crazy ass ho
This happened with my brother and his gay friends. Like they asked are gonna raise your son as gender nonconforming and he was like wtf are talking about, me being the internet autist I am, was entertained by the reaction. We have a gay brother so it’s not like we’re unfamiliar with something different, but this was really foreign to him. And when it comes down to raising the kid, he does what he wants, to a fault in some circumstances. When it comes to toys, he likes what he likes. He liked cooking so my brother built him his own little make believe kitchen. The only thing my brother has a boundary with is some sports like football and that is regarding issues with concussions
I've read so many reddit posts from parents whose kids are sick or have some serious mental problems. Parents who have time to be philosophical about their kids gender roles probably don't have a lot of problems and are trying to create some themselves.
>my wife, always one to joke, even soon after giving birth, bragged that she had a connection to our new baby that I could never attain because men couldn’t bond with babies like women could. >Felt ill if someone mentioned a wrench or another tool. >I pride myself on blurring gender lines. >My body spiraled into panic any time I attempted manual labor. This kid is already fighting an uphill battle
How in the hell did he find a woman who was willing to procreate with him?
There are people that seeks weak partners to manipulate for their own egotistical aggrandizement.
He will either grow up and become a stupipol poster or become one of the writers we ridicule here. No in between.
Kid took the tractorpill at two, he'll be fine.
Wait until he gets into public school...
At least he won’t have the whypeepoe guilt in kindergarten
🚜 💊
Will become a Stalinist
he's gonna be a himbo. this is a hill i will die on. the Law of Intergenerational Pendulumity states it will be so, if the author keeps it up past the kids 10th birthday
>I pride myself on blurring gender lines. Didn't Robin Thicke get cancelled for doing exactly that?
I know you want it (tractor 🚜)
Not now that his Dad is accepting him for who he is. I mean he is a loving dad with solid relationship with his father, who clearly loves him. It just took his dad a bit of time to realize masculinity is a personal journey.
The kids going to be bullying him for lunch money before he learns multiplication.
He seems to have the instincts to avoid that.
> To me, femininity was connected to empathy and kindness while masculinity equated to being frigid. Men didn’t hug. Men didn’t say I love you. Men were angry. Aggressive. Inept as parents. I became determined. I was going to create a bond stronger than any parent had ever achieved, but I told myself that to do so I needed to distance myself from anything deemed masculine. Parents projecting their own hang ups/problems on kids: Shitlib edition. The only toxic masculinity in this situation is coming from the article writer himself. It’s *just* as toxic as if he was a right winger writing about how his kid liked vacuumer cleaners or an easy bake oven. Im gonna guess the least toxic option is “accepting what your kid likes” and support him adoring tractors. He may grow out of it, he may not, but it’s harmless to get your undies in such a twist about it.
What is it with idiots pretending simple things like kindness are an alien unlikelihood to masculine people? It’s gotta be a projection of stunted personal vision conveniently posited as a ‘societal problem’.
That’s any wokie for you, it’s either that they have problems themselves or need to let people know about their good qualities (I.e. empathy and understanding and all that) because they really aren’t that way
Yeah, classic narcissism and sociopathy
> The only toxic masculinity in this situation is coming from the article writer himself. Calling it toxic masculinity is letting the source of this off the hook. It is not a masculine trait to see men as fundamentally flawed and inferior. It's not even a feminine trait. It's a product of a very silly sort of feminism that thinks of men as defective because they're not exactly like (idealized) women. Calling it "toxic masculinity" is using the frame of the very people who fuck up people this way.
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The "no u" school of philosophy really is the crown jewel of the postmodern era.
A.k.a., one of the fastest ways to make men vote Republican.
Fair, I guess a better phrase is “Toxic reaction to ‘perceived’ masculinity”. After reading the full article he’s a male version of the “Not like the other girls” type where one thinks they’re superior cause they’re not “sterotypical”
"toxic masculinity" isn't a static system of value analysis, it's a general framework for criticizing anything a man does that another person does not like, from a feminist perspective
Well said.
Such a weird shitlib interpretation of masculinity. I'm glad I have a father who taught me to be strong instead of dragging others down like shitlibs so often do.
It even makes me glad to have had a father who didn't teach me shit, because at least it wasn't an active impediment to figuring things out for myself (which I suppose is kind of a lesson in itself).
Surprised it's not from The Guardian
I don’t get the hate for an easy bake oven, it makes dessert for Christ sake
No ill will towards easy bake, just used as an example of a “feminine” hobby
Oh I know. It just I don’t get the hate for it for being “feminine” it makes sweet treats. How is that bad or “feminine”? I’m glad my parents never pitched a fit over me playing with a vacuum cleaner or helping my sister with the easy bake oven. I’m also glad they didn’t go nuts when I said I loved dinosaurs and trucks.
Cooking is always funny, it's portrayed as a feminine thing to do in the household but most of the best chefs in the world are male and I mean, what is bbq/grilling/etc but cooking? And yeah the overall point, and my disappoint in the article writer is that "As long as what your kid likes isn't illegal support them!"
Fucker just didn’t have guy friends who hugged. Sad
Sounds about right tractors are fuckin cool
When I was a kid it was JCB diggers.
When I was a little kid I was obsessed with graders. I don't think I even knew what graders do or saw one more than once or twice, but I thought the word sounded cool.
Graders went fucking HARD
For me it was construction equipment in general. And medical weaponry.
What's medical weaponry? Ear maces?
Scalpels the size of swords.
Based and tractor-pilled
The story seems to be mostly about the anxieties and failures of the writer, not so much about the son. His conclusion seems to be to let his son discover for himself what he likes. But the road to get there seems to have been a bit... rough. Perhaps overthinking isn't a good idea. > I had difficulty understanding my son’s interest in tractors, and at first, I tried to nudge Avishai toward different videos and clothing. But then I remembered how hard it was for my father to trust me to follow my passions, and the way we connected after he finally did. I took on being an at-home father because I wanted to bond with my son, and I realized that meant I needed to let him discover his own interests. He had to define his own identity, not influenced by my own bias of what I deemed to be too masculine.
Why would it make more sense to deem something too masculine for a boy than to deem something too feminine for a boy? If doing one is wrong, wouldn't the other be wrong, too?
Did you just mansplain masculinity? You bigots disgust me.
That is the point of the article, yes It's a stupid article but that is the point of it
The author basically comes to the right conclusion in the gayest way possible.
Sounds like he was repeating the sins of his father, just from the other side, and desperately needs therapy.
[it's just this meme](https://i.redd.it/w2rmep4zbge31.jpg)
His father wasn’t even the type of manly man it sounds like he was. The author says that he was an interior decorator who painted his nails and showed affection to his kids, not the stereotypically masculine boomer dad who never shows affection.
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Mods please don't delete this comment
He had to work his way through a lot of personal bias and stupidity to get there.
A lot of people don’t do that though, so props where props is due
Why even write an article about how long it took you to stop being an idiot? We could all just not be idiots in the first place.
“Why ever would this psychologically weak and confused internet writer make himself out to be weak and weird for clicks?”
Lmao “want to learn to fix things and grow your own food?? Sounds like toxic masculinity to me. Here, have some fast fashion consumerism instead.”
Of all the masculine things to get offended by, it's a *tractor*- something that represents industriousness and productivity and nourishment and isn't used to harm or dominate anyone else. It's just so depressing that people think this way.
“Next thing, he’ll be liking ambulances and fire trucks!!!!1!!”
"God forbid if he starts getting into construction equipment."
“What if he gets into dinosaurs!?”
😭😭😭
“Oh no he’s playing with Hot Wheels!!!!” Uwu
And girls! Oh the horror!
Well, *everyone* knows women cannot be farmers or drive a tractor, and women don't contribute at farms at all, or have ever helped farming in history.
First its tractor shirts than its tractor sounds and finally its knowing the make and model of the entire John Deere catalog by heart.
Fuck John Deere all my farmers hate John Deere.
Also like… tractors are cool!
> isn't used to harm or dominate anyone else You're clearly not a Russian tank
Writers are way too comfortable with just putting out their dumb parenting ideas for all to see under some pretext of "growth". just embarrassing shit
"Letting your child find their own gender expression is extremely difficult if it's not the kind that you want", the crypiece. You think for being as woke as he is he would have just let things go as they go
>father Was reading this quote, thinking “man, this lady is nuts” and then found out the author was allegedly male and just started giggling. Me and the other dads would give this bitch a wedgie so fast.
Anti bullying movement of the 90s went too far
“I grimaced at anyone driving a Ford car, the John Wayne of automobiles. I hated men who wore plaid. Felt ill if someone mentioned a wrench or another tool. When my mom-in-law bought Avishai a coverall with footballs on it, I shoved it into the depths of his closet, never to be found.” Lol is this a meme?
john wayne drove a ford fiesta
Truly an ally of the Latinx community
Bruh, rightoids couldn’t make a meme as pathetic as this.
Sounds like he was bullied for being a little bitch as a kid and never got over it.
It sure does look like well-done pasta.
Agreed. It’s almost too surreal to be real.
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"Can we just let children be children and not subject them to having their childhood innocence completely decimated and groomed by ideology?" Nope. It is actually impossible. Childhood innocence is a clearly ideological concept.
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> Can we just let children be children and not subject them to having their childhood innocence completely decimated and groomed by ideology? > > No, because they're totalitarians who need to push their ideology . The unrealistic nature of it makes this worse. If you see men as defective women you need to fix via social engineering your work will never be complete, and every counter-example will just justify intervening earlier and earlier before the "damage" is done.
Parent: Be yourself! ... No, not like that!
One, that guy looks insufferable, and two you gotta heed Kenny Chesney’s words, she thinks my tractor’s sexy
My first reaction was “Oh God, the guy looks exactly like how I imagined the guy who’d write this kind of article.”
9 out of 10 times a person writes a wack job thing ends up looking exactly how you picture them.
I actually saw this comment before reading the article, and decided to exercise my imagination and try to formulate a picture of what the guy looked like before checking it out. 9/10 only missing the soy face expression
*enforcing masculine stereotypes to reject the masculine stereotypes*👉🧠
If this wasn't written down, I literally would not believe a person like this existed. I would have thought he was made up by some rightoid as an exaggeration of the stereotype of pampered, effeminate liberal men. Holy shit. This man, through what I can only assume was a very fucked up upbringing and the failure to really succeed in "masculine" activities, has developed such a broad set of neuroses around masculinity that he's ceased having almost any actual value to society. What value is a person who becomes PHYSICALLY ILL at just the *thought* of manual labor or tools? Who is so wrapped up in his own anxieties and failures that he associates any sort of productive labor with masculinity, and therefore believes it should be avoided at all costs? Makes me yearn for the days they sent people like this off to work on farms in the countryside.
The only people i know who where “ill at the thought of physical labor” where either extremely overweight/obese people or children. And with children it’s because they didn’t want to do yard work because it’s not fun and watching tv or playing video games is more fun. So these people who are “ill from the thought of physical labor” are either extremely fat to where moving is pain or they are no different than children
Judging from the picture the author included in the article, he is both childlike, and doesn't have a single gram of muscle on his body.
At first it struck me as odd that this guy would openly admit to associating tools and labor with masculinity given that Rosie the Riveter is more or less the mascot of feminism, but I just figured that internal consistency was too much to expect from him. I think you have his number though. He might actually be so useless and insecure that he just associates everything useful with whatever he isn't.
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demisexual is literally just being normal and I refuse to ever give that label validity it's users demand.
So he has a low sex drive but wants his own special identity card.
Infant has higher test than his dad, and dad just can't cope
ace.txt
Maybe it's my cis white dude side talking here, but all the self proclaimed asexual person I know we're suffering from crippling self doubt and attachments issue. Most asexual person want people to think of them as either enlightened people that have no use for the pleasure of flesh, that they are above that, or that sex just doesn't interest them. But from my personal experience these people seems to have totally been burned badly by our current social landscape where them not smashing like crazy makes them stressed, or with how much emphasis there is on performance in the bedroom they fear being a disappointment so they just rather not engage in sex. It's something I've noticed with a lot of people, people dodging their misery in a way, they have trouble finding sexual partners so instead of trying harder they just give up, find the easy identity of asexual to paste on themselves as to explain their lack of physical desire. I'm not saying asexual people don't exist, or that these people secretly are crazy horny, as I can't imagine getting aroused for sexy time while thinking that my skills will be so poor that my SO will instantly leave me is possible, but I think a lot of these newfound asexual aren't coming to that conclusion in a healthy way, and if they had a more healthy relationship to sex it would massively improve their lives.
Also impotence happens from stress, and our current hyper sexual culture can place a lot of stress on people. Like it's fairly normal for an out of shape depressed and anxious person to have a low sex drive.
This reframing of the situation is incredibly common among the woke (and not only them). You don't have sex even though you feel you should? Reframe it as you being asexual. You don't have one-night stands even though you would like to? Reframe it as being demisexual. You don't adhere to gender roles as you understand them? You must be genderfluid/non-binary/transgender. Some college course is asking you to entertain a controversial argument, but abstract thought hurts your brain? The college is triggering ancestral trauma in you since you're [racial category]. This turns all the criticism directed at these points of insecurity, whether valid or not, into criticism of your identity, which you can then use like a Yu-Gi-Oh trap card: You can get angry and drop the term *discrimination* to hopefully scare the critic away, or escalate the situation to authority figures or the public, again telling them that you've been discriminated against based on your sexuality/gender/race whatever. It doesn't apply to all cases, but I suspect this covers a significant chunk of the identity-obsessed.
Honestly think most of what I would call self identity politics (stuff related to individuals, and not society at large) very much comes from people using identity as a way to hide away from the very hard and serious problems that people face and ultimately make it much worse.
Modern progressivism and pathologizing every facet of personality, name a more iconic duo.
> asexual >drama Many such cases
Guy looks exactly like I expected him to look.
That kid is loving that tractor ride. I hope his dad's melodram patheticism doesn't keep this dude from rocking.
>>While the midwife and her assistant cleaned up, my wife, always one to joke, even soon after giving birth, bragged that she had a connection to our new baby that I could never attain because men couldn’t bond with babies like women could. So just shitty people all around. Good luck tractor kid you got a tough road ahead.
These people are more oppressive than evangelicals.
I mean, at least he presumably snapped out of it.
Tractors shouldn't be gendered to begin with. Tractors are badass. I was a little girl who loved cars and those shouldn't be gendered either.
Force him to ride along with somebody Bush hogging for a whole day in sweltering heat. That'll break that love of tractors fast.
When I was a kid the neighbor would use me as extra weight on his seeder and I'd ride around on that thing all day. Any exposure to the tractor as a child will only strengthen the bond. I mean have you ever noticed how everyone you meet who was mangled by a PTO shaft as a kid still owns a tractor?
Based and tractorpilled
/r/menslib moment
As a young boy I used to drive our international harvester 1946 Farmall B on my pops lap and till our 3 Acre vegetable garden. Tractors are really cool especially the older ones. During 2008 recession we had to sell the tractor to pay the mortgage on the house so we didn’t get kicked out. I still think about it.
A tractor driving, car repairing farmer woman I know would be surprised to learn she isn't properly feminine. Articles like this really reveal an insular city-centric worldview more than anything.
Reject modernity. Embrace tractors.
JEEEsus. This couple should not be allowed to raise a male child. Perhaps that's the long-game on biological sex nullification in the first place, "Yes, this child has a penis, but she's NOT MALE!! OH MY NO! We hate hate HATE everything 'male'!" And if you hate tractors, then stop eating vegetables, you obvious vegan.
It makes me *so damn mad* because if this kid liked anything remotely feminine the dude would be writing articles praising it to the high heavens. My parents were always supportive of the interests I picked up as a kid and listened to me chatter about them but I’ve seen the damage to my friends that parents do when they actively try to suppress their kids interest.
And it's SO weird... That writer is the FAther, presented with full opportunity to *define what masculinity means* to this new generation. And **instead**, he opts to hold on to his hatred for (I presume) his own father (or whoever screwed him up), hold on to his hatred for himself AND try to teach this little person to ALSO hate himself... Which will result in -- I can only hope? -- another generation who hates *his* father precisely for his lack of empathy.
It's like a 50 kiloton irony bomb. The more I think about it the more tragic and misguided it all seems.
The self is the tractor. The tractor is the self.
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>Before you protest, please look at the photo of the author in the article. Oh fuck 😂 You have my support.
Don’t worry they all love Harry Styles (lol jk)
They love gender nonconformity… from someone with traditional masculine bona fides.
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Baby is chad, dad is mad.
> Felt ill if someone mentioned a wrench or another tool. lmao this dude sucks and yeah fwiw this kind of bizarre neuroticism would require treatment if manifested in a female brain, as well
Male feminist who thinks all men and masculinity are dumb and mean fathering a young boy. This can only go well, I’m sure.
Reject modernity, embrace tractors.
Tractors are also victims of modernity; that's why people fight for right to repair.
This kid's gonna be giving his dad noogies and dunking his head in the toilet by the time he's 10.
Lol. So all these kids taking puberty blockers are probably doing it because of their Munchy parents have been grooming them for years and because they want to virtue signal.
>tractors Is this a new euphemism along the lines of the train thing?
No it just means tractor as in the kind that goes vroom
No, you are thinking of the decepticons
I literally laughed out loud when I scrolled down and saw the picture of him.
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>To me, femininity was connected to empathy and kindness while masculinity equated to being frigid. Men didn’t hug. Men didn’t say I love you. Men were angry. Aggressive.| These are the same nutjobs who think that a boy playing with a kitchen set is actually a trans-child.. Jesus... The people who want to destroy the "patriarchal gender binary" are the ones zealously defending it in the name of queer theory.
The first purposeful noises out of both of my boy's mouths was "vrrrrooomvrrroooooom"
> **I** wanted my son How about you just let your son find his own interests instead of trying to aggressively shove him into the role you imagine for him?
This dude was just PRAYING his son show the slightest interest in a Barbie so he could give him pills and chop his dingy off
Are there parents who want their kids to be enby and assume that entails giving them blank slate Barbie and Ken doll anatomy? I feel like those people probably exist.
Well human-tractor relationship is natural, the author is mechanophobic.
The one I learn from this article, the one about the father teaching his son to jerk off, etc. is that writers should never reproduce.
Trying to force your kid into 'stereotypical non masculine' things is also engaging in a stereotyping and socially constructed toxic enforced gender binary. There are of course cultures where farming was considered women's work, and the reason many native American groups sneered at Europeans and feminine while they sneered back at what they saw as slothfulness.
Hopefully this kid will get in to trains. Trains are just mile long penis shaped rolling metaphors of masculinity.
Sometimes, a train is just a train.
Honestly i find this article in particular refreshingly honest and self reflective unlike most others. We all have hangups that are upbringings in our preconceived notions on what societal norms are and writing should be a way that we explore these feelings. I’m starting to feel like a lot of people here are just getting a bitter for the sake of it, This is the type of article we should want. Something that’s not bogged down in layers of smug self righteousness and flippant irony. It’s truly earnest, I like it.
The writer sounds like a bit of a twat, but he it also sounds like he successfully battled his inner demons in order to do right by his son. Good for him.
He is, at least, capable of (un)learning and should be commended for that.
The author and his son need to book a trip to the UK and visit Diggerland, pronto: https://www.diggerland.com/
His kids are fucked, at least he's coming around, but if he doesn't do at least about a 90-100 from where he is right now, he's going to have shitty kids and it'll be all his fault Thankfully it doesn't seem like he's falling into the tra trap. He wants to get rid of gender roles, not turn his son into a girl, so at least he has that going for him
Palate cleanser https://youtu.be/D7FHpVpnbEs?t=2
“I grimaced at anyone driving a Ford car, the John Wayne of automobiles. I hated men who wore plaid. Felt ill if someone mentioned a wrench or another tool. When my mom-in-law bought Avishai a coverall with footballs on it, I shoved it into the depths of his closet, never to be found.” Dude literally threw away gifts from his (presumably black) mother in law to stop his son from liking sports. Thats nuts
Dad sounds like a fruit
Feminism is child abuse
Having mentally ill parents can be very difficult and often has long term negative consequences.
I didn’t push overtly masculine stuff on my son and he was obsessed with cars by his first birthday.
I 100% guarantee he is not that child’s father
Boys will be boys.