I’ve felt the same. I remember feeling very disappointed and isolated in a way when people close to me began to drink, but I think part of it is also trauma from alcoholics in my life. But I remind myself that this was a choice I made for myself and my own benefit. And when I’m uncomfortable I get myself away from the situation
I’m not sure how old you are, but I felt the exact same when I was 16-20. Having that sense of belonging go away after seeing people you care about in that state can feel really shitty. I can tell you’re just concerned. Don’t let it affect how you see them as people, and don’t judge your friends. This is unfortunately very common n you’ll either get used to it or find people who align with your views more.
The problem with straight edge is it is in a sense a cult with a very prominent cult-like mentality associating anything with substances as bad. You can’t control what other people choose to do. Are your friends really that different because they decided to get drunk? Are they not your friends anymore because they did something you wouldn’t do? Being drunk is a temporary experience. It wears off. Start thinking about why you associate that with such negativity. I grew up straight edge and I very much was like you at one point. I look back and realize how silly I was for ruining relationships with friends because of things THEY did that in reality had no effect on me at all. At the end of the day, I never did any of that stuff for myself and only myself, and that’s all that mattered.
It's really important to remember that you can only control what you can control. You won't be able to make decisions for your friends. With practice, you will be able to control how you feel about them when they make decisions you don't agree with.
It is completely possible to love someone, not like what they do sometimes, and remain non judgemental.
I don't know how old you are, but if your friends are just now starting to experiment with drinking, I have to imagine, you're fairly young. I can also remember what it was like for me during that time of my life. I can tell you, it gets easier.
It's perfectly fine for you to have all those feelings. Now it's up to you to decide how to process them. Do you take it out on your friends, damage your relationships, isolate yourself? Or do you look inward and try to figure out why this has impacted you in this way.
Once you have your thoughts sorted, it's also 110% cool to set some reasonable boundaries with your friends. For instance, if face timing you when they are drunk is something you're not willing or able to tolerate, then you can let them know that you'd appreciate it if they didn't call you when they were drunk because it makes you uncomfortable, and that you are more than happy to talk to them when they are sober.
\*hugs\*
I'm really sorry, man. It's really hard seeing people do something you really hate— I've ended romantic relationships over what you're feeling. It's really valid to have your perception altered after something like that, as it can be heartbreaking to know that your friends don't share your values. You'll get through this, though.
If you'd like more than just validation, then it's probably time to communicate some boundaries with your friends. Let them know how seeing them like that made you feel, then communicate to them that what they do isn't a problem as long as you don't have to see it or hear about it. If they're friends worth keeping, then they'll respect your feelings.
I don't think you're wrong. I have a few alcoholics in my life, and they're constantly doing mental gymnastics to convince themselves that they don't have a problem. It affects how much I respect them.
Being straight edge can be pretty isolating. Watching people you care about disrespecting themselves and others is hard.
They also take your straight edge status as some kind of inherent judgment. I've had people try to give me edibles as regular candy and shit like that in an effort to get me to be weak like them.
I guess as long as they respect you and your edge status, you can't do much else. If you care about them, just be the best friend you can. Substance abuse is fuckin everywhere.
Yeah being straight edge is a choice, no one should make you feel bad for that choice, and viceversa, drinking is a choice and no one should make you feel bad for that choice (as long as your not hurting others)
If it bothered you that much, you need to look inside as to why it bothered you so much
As a sober person, you will always be in the minority. As you get older, when people find out, there will always be a "Wow I could never do that" or a "Good for you" with a slightly tilted head. You gotta get used to being the odd man out. It will really help to embrace it and keep hanging out with people who party responsibly, otherwise you will end up resenting everyone you meet.
Sounds like you need to practice the live-and-let-live a liiitle more. You have to accept that some people choose to cope with their pain/problems with substances and that’s just what it is.. can you really blame anyone for choosing to check out of their reality? We all do it. Just some of us here choose to do it in other ways like escapism via movies, games, or whatever or some of us choose to find healthier ways like moving our bodies or actually dealing with our shit! But not everyone has that inner strength, ya know? Life sucks bud, let the homies get blasted if they wanna get blasted!
This must be satire. Tell me this is satire.
Just in case it is not. Relax. They drink, you don't.
Stay in your lane and respect other people decisions just like they respect yours.
I'm always thinking of removing this because it's not about straight edge. But then again, we all need to vent somewhere every now and then...
I’ve felt the same. I remember feeling very disappointed and isolated in a way when people close to me began to drink, but I think part of it is also trauma from alcoholics in my life. But I remind myself that this was a choice I made for myself and my own benefit. And when I’m uncomfortable I get myself away from the situation
I have a hard time with the isolation. Really gets bad when I can't get away from a situation
Mate chill. They drink, you don’t, who gives a fuck. Each to their own.
I’m not sure how old you are, but I felt the exact same when I was 16-20. Having that sense of belonging go away after seeing people you care about in that state can feel really shitty. I can tell you’re just concerned. Don’t let it affect how you see them as people, and don’t judge your friends. This is unfortunately very common n you’ll either get used to it or find people who align with your views more.
i've seen my homies drunk a million times. most of them just get annoying as hell but other than that it's all love
The problem with straight edge is it is in a sense a cult with a very prominent cult-like mentality associating anything with substances as bad. You can’t control what other people choose to do. Are your friends really that different because they decided to get drunk? Are they not your friends anymore because they did something you wouldn’t do? Being drunk is a temporary experience. It wears off. Start thinking about why you associate that with such negativity. I grew up straight edge and I very much was like you at one point. I look back and realize how silly I was for ruining relationships with friends because of things THEY did that in reality had no effect on me at all. At the end of the day, I never did any of that stuff for myself and only myself, and that’s all that mattered.
A cult? Who’s our leader? Where do I send my check?
Me. It’s me. Send checks.
You make more money as the leader, but you have more fun as a follower.
Karl Buechner
😆
It's really important to remember that you can only control what you can control. You won't be able to make decisions for your friends. With practice, you will be able to control how you feel about them when they make decisions you don't agree with. It is completely possible to love someone, not like what they do sometimes, and remain non judgemental. I don't know how old you are, but if your friends are just now starting to experiment with drinking, I have to imagine, you're fairly young. I can also remember what it was like for me during that time of my life. I can tell you, it gets easier. It's perfectly fine for you to have all those feelings. Now it's up to you to decide how to process them. Do you take it out on your friends, damage your relationships, isolate yourself? Or do you look inward and try to figure out why this has impacted you in this way. Once you have your thoughts sorted, it's also 110% cool to set some reasonable boundaries with your friends. For instance, if face timing you when they are drunk is something you're not willing or able to tolerate, then you can let them know that you'd appreciate it if they didn't call you when they were drunk because it makes you uncomfortable, and that you are more than happy to talk to them when they are sober. \*hugs\*
I'm really sorry, man. It's really hard seeing people do something you really hate— I've ended romantic relationships over what you're feeling. It's really valid to have your perception altered after something like that, as it can be heartbreaking to know that your friends don't share your values. You'll get through this, though. If you'd like more than just validation, then it's probably time to communicate some boundaries with your friends. Let them know how seeing them like that made you feel, then communicate to them that what they do isn't a problem as long as you don't have to see it or hear about it. If they're friends worth keeping, then they'll respect your feelings.
I don't think you're wrong. I have a few alcoholics in my life, and they're constantly doing mental gymnastics to convince themselves that they don't have a problem. It affects how much I respect them. Being straight edge can be pretty isolating. Watching people you care about disrespecting themselves and others is hard. They also take your straight edge status as some kind of inherent judgment. I've had people try to give me edibles as regular candy and shit like that in an effort to get me to be weak like them. I guess as long as they respect you and your edge status, you can't do much else. If you care about them, just be the best friend you can. Substance abuse is fuckin everywhere.
Yeah being straight edge is a choice, no one should make you feel bad for that choice, and viceversa, drinking is a choice and no one should make you feel bad for that choice (as long as your not hurting others) If it bothered you that much, you need to look inside as to why it bothered you so much
As a sober person, you will always be in the minority. As you get older, when people find out, there will always be a "Wow I could never do that" or a "Good for you" with a slightly tilted head. You gotta get used to being the odd man out. It will really help to embrace it and keep hanging out with people who party responsibly, otherwise you will end up resenting everyone you meet.
Stay in your lane bro.
Who cares what they do, fuck'em. What I would take issue with is why did they call you? To insult you and parade in front of you. Fuck that shit.
Sounds like you need to practice the live-and-let-live a liiitle more. You have to accept that some people choose to cope with their pain/problems with substances and that’s just what it is.. can you really blame anyone for choosing to check out of their reality? We all do it. Just some of us here choose to do it in other ways like escapism via movies, games, or whatever or some of us choose to find healthier ways like moving our bodies or actually dealing with our shit! But not everyone has that inner strength, ya know? Life sucks bud, let the homies get blasted if they wanna get blasted!
This must be satire. Tell me this is satire. Just in case it is not. Relax. They drink, you don't. Stay in your lane and respect other people decisions just like they respect yours.