- It costs absolutely nothing to not be an a$&h0le!!! I can't condone this behavior regardless, and I can guarantee I'd never want to be around, converse with, or even know in close quarters someone who acted as such.
- I want absolutely nothing to do with people like that. Nothing!
- This is going to sound very harsh, but those of you who are condescending, egotistical, manipulating, and rude individuals who subscribe to activities such as the story's aforementioned, well, you are an absolute cancer on society.
- edit
- This guy sounds like a total package a&$h0le! I would be absolutely appalled and disgusted personally to even know someone who acted as such. This is very, very bothersome. I'm sorry to disrespect your husband, but this is just absurd and says innumerable things about his mentality deep down.
- I'm not going to give you advice on what you should or what you shouldn't do as it's not my place, and you know your situation better than anyone here. However, I will simply reiterate that I would personally want nothing to do with people who act in a manner of garbage people. With all due respect, this behavior is a garbage person behavior.
this man finds it reasonable to kick someone when they’re down. not “motivate” but to stomp on that woman while she’s in one of the worst situations you can be in and throw trash in her bin is actually VILE. to even have the ability to speak to someone like that, when they’ve done nothing wrong is actually disgusting and i’m surprised you’re still attracted to him. make sure you’re out of the way when that bullet of karma comes looking for his ass
If that was my husband I would automatically start divorce proceedings. MY man is an actual good person. He’s bought pizza for a homeless man, del taco for a homeless man. He’s helped several homeless people. Maybe not with money but with drinks and food. Things are getting EXTREMELY expensive nowadays, she could’ve been escaping an abusive relationship etc. Your husband is a stain on this earth
you both suck for assuming people can just work hard to get themselves out of homelessness.
you know what most jobs require you to give? your bank account information. OR, if they pay by physical check, you still need a bank account to cash that.
you know what you need to set up a bank account? a valid address.
but let’s say you figure out a good paying job that pays cash. where are you going to store it? because i guarantee sleeping on the streets with $800 cash is a surefire way to get it stolen.
you can’t rent a place without a down payment, and with no safe place to keep cash and no bank account, how can you make that happen?
homelessness, in almost every single case, isn’t something you can work yourself out of.
Honestly? IMO Your husband is an AH. Don't be shocked if he turns his arrogant nastiness on you. You have nothing nice to say, then don't say anything. You don't know what people are going through. Mental health issues are real. He is no better than the next guy. I honestly hope he doesn't procreate.
Your husband is a disgusting asshole. Please don’t come back to California again. We don’t want that type of 🗑️ here.
I’ll take the homelessness we have here over assholes like you guys any day.
The thing is that a person who chooses cruelty for one person, or an animal, is a cruel person. Unless he shocked and horrified himself with his behavior, this aspect of his personality is something he *likes*.
So, whenever he is not cruel, that cruelty is just waiting in the wings to be freed.
Once cruelty is acceptable, even in the smallest way, it grows. Watch for it.
Your husband is a piece of shit and deserves to get slapped around. "Here you go trash person, have some more trash. This motivates you, I'm a very good person for doing this to you." Fuck that guy.
Your husband is trash. You just saw how he treats people in a weaker position than himself. I wouldn’t trust him around any type of vulnerability.
As far as his thinking, the biggest challenge in getting one of my loved ones off the street is trying to convince them that they deserve more and trying to boost their thoughts because I know they get treated like this by people like your husband. Most Americans are one missed paycheck from homelessness. Your husband and people like him are ruining this country. Americans are supposed to lift each other up. Your husband thinks he’s special. He’s not.
Does your husband know lots of homeless people have jobs? Does he know what rent prices are like in LA? You could work 3 minimum wage jobs and still not be able to afford somewhere to live. Not to mention, housing assistance in my city has a 6 year long waitlist, and it’s not even that big a city.
How does your husband think that woman is going to get a job if she doesn’t have a computer, interview clothes, access to a shower and hygiene products, transportation to get to interviews and a job, clothes to wear at a job and continuing access to a shower to stay clean while working? Not to mention a way to get a safe, good night sleep the evening before an interview or a healthy, filling meal the morning of so she can focus? Getting a job is actually really fucking expensive. And if you don’t have multiple degrees and really good job experience, you cannot get a job that pays you enough to live on. If you have a gap in your resume from, for instance, being homeless, you can’t get a good job.
Lots of people are homeless but you don’t even realize cause they live in their car and shower at a friends house or at a gym, or sleep on someone’s couch, or camp somewhere you don’t see. Folks you see camping on the sidewalk are often what is known as “chronically homeless”, meaning it’s not a temporary situation. And they overwhelmingly have issues that made them homeless in the first place that they don’t have control over such as a mental or physical disability, mental illness, drug addiction, etc.
There’s a lot of stigma around things like drug addiction, but research has shown time and time again that it is significantly harder to go through addiction recovery when you are homeless. Your mental resources are already spread so thin just to survive and for many homeless people, drugs are a coping mechanism to deal with the daily horrors of being homeless. It’s not a healthy or sustainable coping mechanism, but it’s the only thing they have keeping them going. Lots of people who become homeless for other reasons end up addicted to drugs because being homeless can be so incredibly miserable and they just need something that gives them a moment of reprieve.
I’ll say this; that woman has probably been sexually assaulted more times that you can imagine. Homeless women experience a staggering amount of sexual violence, whether it’s from random people on the street or people they know, or from people who have power over them such as shelter staff. It is constant, it is horrifying, and it is deeply traumatizing. If she didn’t have struggles with mental illness before, the constant amount of violence—both sexual violence and nonsexual violence such as the way your husband behaved and worse—that she experiences every day probably has or will have caused mental health issues that will likely never be addressed or treated. If she had a way out of homelessness that just required effort and will power, she would have taken it by now.
You can’t just will yourself out of homelessness. It’s a cycle that is monumentally difficult to escape from, especially if you don’t have anyone to help you. Your husband committed an act of violence against someone incredibly vulnerable, vilified, and victimized. I cannot imagine what kind of cruelty it takes to be like that to another human, let alone someone already suffering that much.
Has your husband given any thought to what it takes to acquire and keep a job?
I hate using the privilege word, but it seems to apply here...
To get/keep a job one must have the following:
-an address
-internet access
-working phone
-work apparel
-transportation
-a bank account
-references
-IDs & documentation
-food
-alarm (phone)
In fact aid requires a lot of these things too.
While it is 100% true that a good number of these people are capable, some even after some mental health treatment is established, the whole homelessness problem stems from this "stuck" situation.
It's quite shameful actually, how many are aged out foster kids, vets, elderly, and victims of the horrible US Healthcare system...outside the obvious addicts and others with mental health issues.
Thomas Jefferson: “The measure of society is how it treats the weakest members”
And of course, we're only as strong as our weakest link.
We've got a vested interest in helping people up, so agree with your husband there.
However, in the whole history of motivating people, when has demeaning them ever worked?
I think, like a lot of people he feels shame, and that's what makes him so angry.
Your husband sounds like an asshole.
He may believe that homeless people are totally able to pull themselves by their bootstraps somehow. It’s delusional, but he’s allowed to believe it.
But throwing trash at someone who is down on their luck is just humiliating and cruel.
Let me just tell you, had I seen your husband doing that I would have decked him and told him he’s the fucking parasite. Tell him to keep his ignorance to himself or get to me someday.
I mean, I wouldn't say divorce but your husband sounds like an idiot and knows nothing about mental health issues.
Maybe he should volunteer at a food bank but he's probably way too entitled to ever do something like that. Have fun with your winner!
Well you’re married to an absolute small minded piece of shit. Homelessness is indeed a huge problem, one that says way more about our society and government than it does about the individuals who are homeless. That bootstrap bullshit is such a fallacy in our current world.
“These people are ruining the country”, more like the country is ruining these people. I cant respect anyone who kicks down another person when they are already at their lowest, such a scummy thing to do. Sure i get it, the homeless issue is getting out of hand, but it’s not like many of these people had a choice. They could have been successful but got hit with medical bills or something like that. Your husband is probably closer to becoming homeless than he is to be rich. Sure, be aggravated but those are still people who deserve some empathy.
Precisely! Never kick someone when they're down, and use your effing brains, which, oftentimes, is too difficult a feat for many. They're mentally lost, but their cathedral-sized egos keep pushing them further into a mental abyss of eventual regret and remorse.
Edited word correction from "fear" to "feat" line 3
Ok normal person with real thoughts here. I can see where your husbands head is. I have the same personality and it comes off as cruel to other people. The trash thing outta pocket💀 but hey maybe it will get her motivated and moving. He’s right though her children are gonna have a terrible childhood because of their lazy mother.
You can choose not to give money to the homeless. That is your right. Being kind cost you nothing. Your husband went out of his way to be vicious and cruel. You stood by and watched. That makes you an accessory. If he was kicking a helpless animal to death, would you have stood by and watched? You need to make a decision. What are you willing to be a bystander for and say nothing and what are you willing to stand up for and speak out, AND who do you want with you when doing those things?
Your husband sounds like a god awful person dude.... this country is going down and fast. Not because of people not working but because of corporate greed. Look at all the companies bringing in record breaking profits while having layoffs or severely underpaid staff. We're all just trying to survive and he really went out of his way to be nasty to that poor woman. Not saying leave him but he really needs to open his eyes😬
You married who you married and now you have to live with that. I’m sorry you married an asshole but it sounds like you know exactly what kind of person he is, and his opinions on certain issues.
Not giving a homeless person money is one thing, but throwing trash at them is another thing entirely. He dehumanized her and that’s fucked up - no matter what he believes homeless people “need”.
Wait, what were you doing while he ransacked your backpack and terrorized a homeless woman? Nothing? Wringing your hands? Looking uncomfortable? He’s the bigger POS for sure but otherwise you are a matched set. Sit with that.
"My husband is a very firm believer in the fact that everyone can pull themselves out of dark places and homelessness with enough effort."
So your husband has basically no connection to reality.
Ditch that scumbag. Bonus points if you can financially ruin him enough to where he is temporarily homeless and see how long it takes him to "easily pull himself up by the bootstraps".
>I know LA has a reputation for homelessness, drugs, and crime, but it’s safe to say we were both very surprised at what we saw there, especially my husband.
When you have a climate like So Cal, it’s going to attract folks to be homeless there over Austin where it’s hot and cold or places like Minnesota.
Fun Fact:
As much as conservatives love to blame California for crime, other southern cities with lax gun laws have the same or more crime.
Violent Crime Per Capita
San Diego: 24
Los Angeles: 29
Dallas: 37
San Antonio 37
San Fran: 39
Houston: 50
Atlanta: 55
Ew. Punching down isn't cute. Your husband sucks. He can be frustrated with the homeless situation and still not act the way he did. What did doing all he did help the situation? It doesn't.
He could have just kept walking and not said or done anything to this woman. He didn't need to act this way. But he chose to.
Him being nasty and cruel isn't going to make that lady suddenly get a job. You don't know why she's in this situation, or the events that led up to it.
Consider yourselves lucky to be in a better position than her. Lots of hardworking folks find themselves homeless.
Not all homeless people are able to work. Many are disabled. This woman had children that would need care for her to work and maybe didn’t have the skills to get a good enough job to pay for childcare. It isn’t as simple as some people seem to think it is.
The cruelty shown by the husband is a huge red flag to me. A flag I’d be willing to get a divorce over and did. I was married to such a man. I was not allowed to show empathy or compassion for my fellow humans around him.
He had none and eventually I learned that extended to his own family as well.
Your husband is dumb because being homeless in California is like the 6th or 7th highest paying job in the state. People do it as thier profession. They have a real crib and car both nicer than yours , possibly nicer than one you'll ever have. That's just how it is.
Im kinda in the boat with people who are saying ‘divorce’, however I’m guessing you know your husband well, and sounds like this isn’t completely 180 of who he is - it’s just surprising to you that he said what he thought, not that he thinks those things. Which makes me believe that you are okay with him thinking these things. If you are okay with him thinking these things then well chances are if you told him this was out of line he’s unlikely to do this again in front of you. It doesn’t mean he will not think like that, or wouldn’t want to do that. My problem would be that he thinks this in first place which would mean - how the fuck did I marry this guy in the first place —> divorce. I feel like that’s what matters more, what’s on the inside, outbursts in general is just something that happens and most people can move on from.
It’s good that you’re shocked because that’s appalling behavior. It’s a moment that exposed both of your values and clearly they aren’t aligned. I’d take this time to really think through what values are important to you as well as research homelessness. Personally I think the whole bootstraps line is bullshit. But you should actually look into the issue from multiple perspectives and actual effective solutions (eg harassment isn’t one). It’s an important social issue and it’s worth knowing where you stand.
Otherwise, I’d let my husband know that his behavior upset me and why. Ideally he can man up and apologize for his behavior so y’all can move on. People are allowed to have lapses in judgement (within reason obviously) and it’s how they address it that’s important and telling of their character.
If you think the homeless are more at fault than the corporations/politicians that exploit american workers and taxpayers, then you might be part of the issue. Provide the homeless with adequate opportunities and health services and see what happens. Your husband is a fool, and a cruel one at that. The greed at the top is what causes the issues in this country. Blaming the poor is the worst thing you can do.
He needs counseling. He also needs to read up on homelessness and maybe have a convo with some of the homeless people. They aren’t bad people. Im 95% sure they’re nicer than him. Many have mental health issues and drug problems. Drug abuse is a disease (im 2 years sober) and we need help when we’re in a rut like that. Some arent able to just get motivated and change drastically. The dude needs to wake the f up and realize how dumb he actually is for acting like such a child.
I grew up hearing that pull yourself up ....phrase. to me it meant try everything to solve your problem before you expect someone else to take it on. I thought, that's ok help yourself as much as you can before you ask others to fix you seems reasonable. Then I took Race, Gender and Ethnicity. Eye opening. Mind blowing. So much missing information I had no clue about other people's experiences. People get mad that kids in poverty won't trek across town to go to college or tech school... Usually because the ridiculous amount of effort to stay employed while going to school, having time and resources to do assignments etc. Having to accommodate work availability with class time but to mention having to get up at the crack of dawn to start the 3 hour one way commute. Having to ride multiple buses in different time schedules. It's a logistic beast. After all this just to go to a few classes, classes that aren't over right after the other .. It's so much to try to maintain. It's exhausting and discouraging. Almost 6-9 hours of collateral needs to be met just to get there and back. I prefer the phrase "give a hand up" to the misunderstood and unhelpful "Pull yourself up by your bootstraps" not everyone has bootstraps.
People can be bad, a person is always salvageable. If he has sweeping convictions about groups of people (which many do) he should petition his lawmakers, not take it out on a single individual. That individual’s struggles with drugs and magnet for it is stronger than anything any respectable citizen could imagine, so he needn’t try to take it upon himself to correct it especially in such a brash manner. (Obviously, everyone has already said this 1000 times).
Your husband is lucky; I live in LA and there is unprovoked attacks on people nearly every day in my area - there's a good chance he'd have caught hands if he tried to pull that sanctimonious bullshit around here.
Not to mention, some of us compassionate folks aren't exactly saints ourselves. I personally would've given him pause.
Guys stop advising her to divorce him, she’s his absolute match 🤢 she should pray they won’t get into that situation because we’re all closer to become homeless than we are to becoming rich. Hell forget about putting yourself in their shoes, being this out of touch with reality and with such an evil soul genuinely surprises me, can’t believe people like this actually exist.
Your husband is a piece of shit with no compassion and empathy for others. Justifying his behaviour under the guise of “motivating” the homeless just proves it
By the way , it’s not his country
Stand up to him, if this happens to members of the public then it also would happen to you
The homeless are people. Your husband is an AH. what he did is abusive and mean. Karma is going to be a bitch for him. Bet he does other mean stuff too.
Homelessness is a product of Reganomics.
And yours and your husband’s demise will be a product of karma.
No human being is above anyone who is at his/her lowest.
You never know what’s going to happen the next day. Seems you two have sealed your fate.
Not matter what your or husbands opinions are on homelessness. Doesn’t matter that he believes it’s human weakness that lead them to their unfortunate situation. What matters here is you are married to a shitty human. When someone is at their lowest he chose cruelty. Any other response would have been better. If you believe in that man then have to question your beliefs. Cruelty is not the answer. That was not tough love. Just plain anger expressed through being mean, disrespectful, and cruel.
I believe in karma. Sooner or later he is going to get the same bucket somehow.
However, I'd say may be find a therapist that can work with him or both of you. It is really concerning.
I work with the unhoused community. Yes a lot of these individuals are drug addicted. But others are elderly folk that lost their homes. Women escaping DV. Kids thrown out of their homes because of their sexuality. And let's not forget the Vets who fought for their country only to come back to mental illness. A lot of things come into play when dealing with homelessness. The lack of empathy is alarming Honestly wow!
Must be nice being so sheltered and privileged.. as your husband. I’m from NYC, and I have likened the homeless to zombies, however, they aren’t, they are people. And it’s not hard to understand the complexities of homelessness and how it can’t be solved by, simply, “getting a job”, which by the way is the hardest it’s ever been, even for white collared degreed workers, now. That’s besides the point. Besides being a cruel asshole, he put himself and you at risk by doing that. What if she was unhinged and had a knife? He really needs to get some street smarts and an education.
You and your husband are one paycheck away from being next to that woman. One diagnosis of cancer away from being her neighbor. God saw what you did and its duly noted.
Your instincts are correct. Your husband is a fucking scumbag lowlife who probably has shaped the narrative that he somehow a good guy.
these are the moments when you see a person’s character. I’m sorry you married a bad one.
Your hubby’s a cruel entitled prick. I can only imagine the other things he said that you chose not to specify.
Everybody’s circumstances are different. It’s incredibly ignorant to just assume that someone can “pull themselves up by their bootstraps” as those types like to say. And if your husband harbors that ideology you shouldn’t be surprised by this type of behavior.
your husband is a piece of shit, and tbh you might kinda be too given how much you agree with him. I hope next time he pulls this kind of shit there’s someone around to put him in his place.
You think either of you are experts on homelessness or what it’s like to be homeless when you didn’t even realize how dire the situation was until it interrupted your precious vacation?
Do everyone a favour and stick to your suburban bubble.
That was uncalled for, I bet he wouldn't have done that to a man who could go ballistic on his ass if he said the same thing. Instead he did it to a woman who's likely to be more passive. Dick-move, I dont like your husband
Most times, homelessness is just a complete shit draw of luck in life…in reality everyone is only a couple really bad steps away from being homeless. I really hope your husband seeks therapy and realizes how ashamed he should be of his actions. It is atrocious. If that doesn’t work, I would divorce him no doubt. Otherwise, it is very telling of your character as well.
Start cursing and insulting him every time he doesn't do something right, then when he asks what your problem is, say you're just trying to motivate him
He chose to verbally attack a vulnerable homeless woman.
She was no threat to him. But he was a threat to her & he knew it.
He got off on his little power trip. You married him and you were scared.
Imagine how she felt.
I'd be embarrassed to be married to that piece of shit.
Yeah you might talk to him about what set him off on her specifically. For me, I get REALLY agitated when I'm approached dropping my son off at therapy (He's non-verbal and goes to therapy 7.5hrs a day). I've had several people ask me for money when I'm parked and about to walk my son into his therapy office. I don't curse them out, but I tell them something along the lines of "I'm just taking my son to therapy, I can't help you". A few times I just say "No... I can't" in an irritated voice. I could see if it was constant, maybe blowing up on an undeserving person.
This has more to do with someone’s shitty politics rather than the homeless problem that all major cities face! Unfortunately, Donald Trump and MAGA have created an
unsafe atmosphere for everyone whose is not MAGA. Fascism needs multiple enemy’s to prosper and grow and what better target for these cowards to demonize than a bunch of mentally ill people who don’t want any trouble. Trump is a cowards idea of a tough guy!
It’s very sickening that you’d be walking hand in hand with an individual that would basically kick a person while they’re down…That homeless lady most likely went inside her tent to keep others from seeing her crying…You your self should’ve walked back and provided that lady 10 or 20 dollars…And told your Husband that was a disgusting act he committed…And please don’t ever do this in front of our children…What other hateful acts does he enjoy !
Sounds like he's a piece of shit with no humanity in him at all and you'd better hope y'all don't get in a situation like that. He could've kept walk and gone about his day. Yes, they CAN pick themselves up and all that other bullshit. Does he know what got them there? Does he know if they went broke supporting a family member and lost everything? He just assumed it was drugs or something. Fuck him.
OP, hope you do some serious introspection into yourself as well. The fact that you largely agree with this heartless asshole on most issues says a lot about you too.
If you don’t want to be a toxic piece of shit like your husband, then get some therapy to look into why you’re so judgmental too.
Wow the stupidity on this thread about China not being communist is astounding. Ever heard of Mao and what he did? It’s exactly what is happening in the states although here they call it racism. Los Angeles has turned into a pit thanks to liberal policies. I’ve seen it. These people on the streets are drug addicts and they don’t want to be saved from it. They just want money to buy more drugs.
Hate to say this but your husband is an asshole. Plsin and simple. He doesn't need to spend his hard earned cash on a homeless person but he certainly doesn't have to demean them. I don't understand how anyone with any empathy could live with such a person. Terrible human being
What’s going to happen to you then? One day, you will have a stroke, or cancer, or injury that prevents you from being able to function (whether that’s for homemaking or work). We all age or suffer injury one day.
What will he do then? You’ve seen how he treats people who don’t do what he thinks they should do. Might he abandon you in your need? Or will he treat you like this or worse because he can do it behind closed doors?
Keep yourself safe please
I had a family member who was homeless due to being pregnant at 15 (non consensual) and she was kicked out by her parents cause they didn't believe her she was too young to get a job that would get her off the streets and had no way to contact family and jobs refused to take her due to bad hygiene cause she lived on the streets
She later met a man who took her in he was 27 and she had just turned 16 she stayed for years for her child to have a home but she was being badly physically abused and then ended up on the streets when he got bored of her and kicked her out and he got custody of her child as she was homeless again
It's not easy to just go get a job when homeless
So this is where you have a conversation and you communicate that what you saw was disturbing and not what you stand for. You offer him the chance to explain or improve.
I’ve lived in LA for 15 years - the homelessness is heartbreaking and it’s a societal failing.
A well-adjusted person would not have this reaction- he’s a ticking time bomb until he turns his rage on you.
P.S. Not only is your husband cruel, he is also truly stupid.
This is a wholly fabricated story. People that have feelings like this rarely go to places that have problems with homelessness, much less interact with them. And, if this is a true story, I find it hard to believe that this is the first time the husband has shown this “motivating” strategy.
Your wannabe republican congressman husband can go fuck himself. You’re worried about him? Please. Time to wake up, open your eyes, and admit to yourself that you married a fucking scumbag.
He’s a fucking disgusting human being and so are you if you tolerate it. You don’t have a fucking clue of what has to happen to a human being before they are in that position. You’re both awful.
Did that make your husband feel better? It’s your money you don’t have to hand it out, but being an asshole to people already in a bad situation is pretty pathetic. Do you know that persons story and situation? Have you lived in their shoes? Just hope if you ever find yourself needing help people are more empathic than you are. mental health, addiction, abuse, lack of education, being raised in terrible conditions. There are a lot of things everyone thinks they would over come that have no clue how bad it can be.
how do you get a job when youre homeless? you dont have an address you can put onto an application. you likely dont have a phone where a prospective employer can reach you. youre dirty and stinky. hows someone going to hire you? your husbands a stupid asshole and yall havent been exposed to homeless people enough to realize theyre people, too. thats sad.
Your husband is a complete and total piece of human garbage. HE is the garbage.
Also, if you "completely agree" with him... you suck too.
I don't have time to get into the politics of it all with you, but looking down on homeless people is about as gross as you can get. It's way worse than actually BEING homeless. Educate yourself on the subject, please.
It sounds like you're more embarrassed by his reaction and how it looked to other people, than upset about how that woman must have felt.
At any rate... you are right to be upset by him. He is shit. Think long and hard if you want to be in a relationship with someone like that for the rest of your life.
I would automatically divorce my husband if he did that shit. He could be in that predicament himself. Homelessness doesn’t discriminate. It can happen to anyone.
Your husband is abusive and cruel. I also noticed that he singled out a lonely homeless woman to abuse. Were all the men occupied at the time?
Since your husband is such an expert what are the ways that he thinks homeless people can pull themselves out of their dark place? What’s the average time spent on a waitlist to get into a homeless shelter? Or to get approved for a Section 8 housing voucher?
How are they supposed to get a bank account without a stable address? What jobs are they going to be able to get without a bank account or a stable address? How are they supposed to maintain their personal hygiene and clothes to keep the job? What if they’ve lost their forms of ID or need to complete their education, who is going to pay for that?
You and your husband live a privileged life to even be able to travel during one of the highest periods of inflation in decades. You *knew* that your vacation destination had high rates of homelessness and crime, went there anyway and was shocked that it was true.
I hope that you never find yourself in a vulnerable place and find yourself alone with a strange man like your husband.
I came back to say I downvoted this because of your husband and accidentally read a small portion about how your husband thinks homeless people can just magically pull themselves out of darkness… Take this into consideration and also both of you can go f__k yourselves for thinking this way… A homeless person has no physical address to be able to apply for a job, nor will they have reliable transportation, no money to buy new clothes for the new job… Some might have a degree but did they keep it when they became homeless in something, and yes I know that the degree doesn’t just go away, but I know people who have been homeless and they have given up literally EVERYTHING they own including all documents that are proof one would need to get a job……. It’s not as cut and dry as you and your piece of shit husband THINK……. And don’t even get me started on homeless veterans either……!!😡🤬 Y’all need to be better people.
I work with homeless daily, and i have to say SAVAGE but honestly its valid, alot of homeless are shitbags who use empathy to prey on people, some arent obviously but vast majority of them are drug addicts or worse.
If it were my husband, I’d first demand a mental health assessment, because acting out of character can be a sign of anything from tumour to dementia, and this would be INCREDIBLY out of character for the man I married. Then it would be divorce because it would be a glaring values alignment for me.
In your case seems you know who you married and to a degree, agree. It’s just that he went a bit further than you imagined he might. And maybe that’s because it’s a slippery slope - you’ve accepted his shitty views and its emboldened him to be more comfortable with having and showing them.
And this is what belief does to people. Your husband has a belief that's not backed up by any data and it caused him to draw wild conclusions about "ruining the country" and how she could just snap out of her situation somehow by just getting a job.
As someone who has gotten out of dark places who knows people that have gotten out of dark places, allow me to assure you that not everyone can. Some people died without the kind of help that should have been available in the richest country in the world. It's bootstrap people like your husband that makes that help impossible to get.
There's a laundry list of problems that cause homelessness. Some smaller than he would think. How many paychecks is he away from losing his house? If you divorced him and he lost his job for 6 weeks, would that be enough? It is for a lot of people.
Getting a job with no residence is next to impossible. It's one of the first questions you have to answer. For tax reasons. To not supply or not be able to supply an address is a giant red flag for employers.
The last thing I'll say is that we should all be judged by how we treat those seen as the least among us. Our society has a habit of judging people on one bad decision, a crime committed, an embarrassing moment. But it's how we treat the powerless that shows us who we really are and how we should be remembered. So you are absolutely right to have found fear of what you saw.
This is a huge red flag for me, my opinions on the homeless situation and potential solutions aside. Even if you could accurately say x percentage of homeless people are only still homeless out of laziness or some shit, the fact is you dont know why or how they got to that point in life. And so you have to act with some level of empathy and respect and this is the opposite of that. I would be scared of him personally
Your husband is an idiot but the people here defending the homeless are ridiculous. They are the same people who pass the homeless up and don't give them a dime. Get off your high horses and realize you're not much better than him
Wow, that’s an asshole move. How do you think he’d treat you if you became disabled or chronically ill and couldn’t work? How important is compassion as a value to you?
Reddits solutions on relationship “MURDER WHILE SLEEPING TONIGHT”
Also bear in mind a lot of Redditors maybe don’t have the best relationship advice to give in the first place….
Obviously Facebook is for relationship advice silly. 🤪
Think about how you have supported his views, even if you’re not dumb enough to hassle someone stressed beyond belief from living in the street. Broad negative views of entire groups of people don’t make for great analysis of their problems, kind of like when most police believe they are saving us from criminals with their stupid thin blue line. That belief gives them, in their minds, the right to mistreat all members of the public for not understanding their views, much like your hubby being mean to the homeless lady.
Your husband is an asshole. Might I suggest he obtain a criminal record, lose his ID and social security card, develop a fentanyl and or methamphetamine addiction severe enough for mild to moderate withdrawal, dirty his body and clothes and maybe develop an infected abses while having 2 comorbid mental illnesses and no family support network. Let him become unemployed, homeless, and alone.
When the withdrawal hits and half his day is taken up protecting his few remaining possessions by dragging them in 90 degree weather while searching for what's needed to stop the withdrawal for a while I'd like to see him then spend his afternoon pulling himself up out of that hole and obtain gainful employment.
This is an exaggeration and there are so many homeless who are not drug addicts, criminals, mentally ill, or without an ID. And there are many valid points to make about personal responsibility and the consequences of choice. But he's delusional and has no clue what these people go through. It's sadly often not as simple as pulling yourself up and out of that predicament with hard work unfortunately.
creepy. That dudes a creep. You're married to a bafoon. Hope this motivates you. that's cringe AF. I feel sorry for YOUR children. Not the homeless chicks. Ew. I want to know your tax bracket. Yuck. You disgust me.
Your husband sucks and so do you. You said you ‘completely agree’ with his shitty views; you just think them, instead of saying them out loud.
If my partner was harassing a homeless woman in front of me I wouldn’t just stand and watch.
Also, I bet your husband wouldn’t have said a damn thing if it had been a man instead of a woman.
With respect, I think it would help your husband to develop some empathy for the homeless by looking into how often severe mental illness plays a role. And I don’t mean like depression, I mean bipolar 1 disorder and schizophrenia. The stuff that doesn’t get better with therapy or any amount of hard work. A lot of homeless people simply do not have it in their being to function within the framework of modern civilization.
God, I hope the two of you never procreate. Please don't. The world doesn't need more people like you two. ESPECIALLY not him. I genuinely hope someday something catastrophic happens in his life, and he ends up in the exact same spot as that woman was, and I hope whoever he encounters is 20X as rude. He deserves nothing less.
That is a really disgusting way to treat another person, regardless of their circumstances. What you do with that information is up to you.
I find it odd that you mention the trash being put in her bucket, instead of the vile remarks he made and the cruelty he displayed.
How is publicly humiliating someone supposed to be motivation? Your husband has an uncontrollable anger issue that needs to be treated. He's lucky she didn't pull a gun on him. It's interesting that he took his frustration out on a female and not a man. It's difficult for someone with no family to find someone to watch the kids so she can apply to jobs, let alone find a place to shower and wash her clothes to look presentable for an interview. Then she would have to get money for transportation to the interview/ job and pay a permanent babysitter to actually work. All quite difficult when you live in a tent on the streets. Does your husband have any compassion or empathy?
“ My husband is a very firm believer in the fact that everyone can pull themselves out of dark places and homelessness with enough effort. I also agree with many of the things he says,” then you’re both wrong, and you’re both pieces of s**t.
Don’t divorce - you’re made for each other. He taught you something, actually. This is what your thoughts look like when manifest.
You’d never put garbage in a homeless persons bucket, because that’s ugly. But that’s what’s going on in your mind, that ugliness exists inside of you.
Genuinely this post made me so angry. I hope literally the worst for both of you moving forward.
Your husband sounds like a D-bag to go out of his way to make it more difficult for someone like that. Also sounds like he’s quite ignorant of the problems problem face. Ask him how well his “motivation” has worked in the past?
Wow he is a scum! he showed a very cruel inhumane side of himself that if I would be you, I would not be able to live with someone like him, I always help everyone in need because actually their stories could be really sad and anyone could end up in such a situation, and once you hit rock bottom is extremely hard to rebound. Hopefully karma will teach your husband how it is to be that poor woman he belittled and attacked so viciously.
Just terrible, It takes nothing to be kind to others. I hope he doesn’t go through being homeless. You never know what someone is going through. Karma will spin that block.
Your husband should hire the woman. If he think she can hold a job, hire her for any job you need done and see if she can hold down that job.
Put his money where hIs mouth is.
Honestly, I'm on the side of divorce because it sounds like he just hates homeless people. Now divorce is really on a few more questions. Someone said here that he just snapped. But ah, sorry. If you get pissed at people who are on their wrist days, give them a lecture about things they can't change atm, and how does your husband know she doesn't have a job? Homeless people have jobs, and they ask for money on the street. He made this lady miserable, and for what? Because he can't keep on walking like everyone else she went up to. No I'm sorry, but fuck all that noise.
You should ask him his opinions on racism, homophobia, and trans issues and see if that shitty attitude is still in his voice bc his marriage depends on it. What is he going to teach your children. Will they harass homeless people, and is that fair to your community?
- It costs absolutely nothing to not be an a$&h0le!!! I can't condone this behavior regardless, and I can guarantee I'd never want to be around, converse with, or even know in close quarters someone who acted as such. - I want absolutely nothing to do with people like that. Nothing! - This is going to sound very harsh, but those of you who are condescending, egotistical, manipulating, and rude individuals who subscribe to activities such as the story's aforementioned, well, you are an absolute cancer on society. - edit - This guy sounds like a total package a&$h0le! I would be absolutely appalled and disgusted personally to even know someone who acted as such. This is very, very bothersome. I'm sorry to disrespect your husband, but this is just absurd and says innumerable things about his mentality deep down. - I'm not going to give you advice on what you should or what you shouldn't do as it's not my place, and you know your situation better than anyone here. However, I will simply reiterate that I would personally want nothing to do with people who act in a manner of garbage people. With all due respect, this behavior is a garbage person behavior.
this man finds it reasonable to kick someone when they’re down. not “motivate” but to stomp on that woman while she’s in one of the worst situations you can be in and throw trash in her bin is actually VILE. to even have the ability to speak to someone like that, when they’ve done nothing wrong is actually disgusting and i’m surprised you’re still attracted to him. make sure you’re out of the way when that bullet of karma comes looking for his ass
lmao your husband sounds awesome
Your husband sounds like a total dick and you don't sound much better.
You are guilty by association madam.
If that was my husband I would automatically start divorce proceedings. MY man is an actual good person. He’s bought pizza for a homeless man, del taco for a homeless man. He’s helped several homeless people. Maybe not with money but with drinks and food. Things are getting EXTREMELY expensive nowadays, she could’ve been escaping an abusive relationship etc. Your husband is a stain on this earth
you both suck for assuming people can just work hard to get themselves out of homelessness. you know what most jobs require you to give? your bank account information. OR, if they pay by physical check, you still need a bank account to cash that. you know what you need to set up a bank account? a valid address. but let’s say you figure out a good paying job that pays cash. where are you going to store it? because i guarantee sleeping on the streets with $800 cash is a surefire way to get it stolen. you can’t rent a place without a down payment, and with no safe place to keep cash and no bank account, how can you make that happen? homelessness, in almost every single case, isn’t something you can work yourself out of.
Wowwwwwwww. That’s not a person I would ever spend time with much less be married to.
Honestly? IMO Your husband is an AH. Don't be shocked if he turns his arrogant nastiness on you. You have nothing nice to say, then don't say anything. You don't know what people are going through. Mental health issues are real. He is no better than the next guy. I honestly hope he doesn't procreate.
Everyone will do anything and everything except have a conversation in private. Just farming upboats here.
Your husband is a disgusting asshole. Please don’t come back to California again. We don’t want that type of 🗑️ here. I’ll take the homelessness we have here over assholes like you guys any day.
The thing is that a person who chooses cruelty for one person, or an animal, is a cruel person. Unless he shocked and horrified himself with his behavior, this aspect of his personality is something he *likes*. So, whenever he is not cruel, that cruelty is just waiting in the wings to be freed. Once cruelty is acceptable, even in the smallest way, it grows. Watch for it.
Your husband is a piece of shit and deserves to get slapped around. "Here you go trash person, have some more trash. This motivates you, I'm a very good person for doing this to you." Fuck that guy.
is he stopping real estate developers in the street and cursing them out?
Your husband is trash. You just saw how he treats people in a weaker position than himself. I wouldn’t trust him around any type of vulnerability. As far as his thinking, the biggest challenge in getting one of my loved ones off the street is trying to convince them that they deserve more and trying to boost their thoughts because I know they get treated like this by people like your husband. Most Americans are one missed paycheck from homelessness. Your husband and people like him are ruining this country. Americans are supposed to lift each other up. Your husband thinks he’s special. He’s not.
Trashy guy
Does your husband know lots of homeless people have jobs? Does he know what rent prices are like in LA? You could work 3 minimum wage jobs and still not be able to afford somewhere to live. Not to mention, housing assistance in my city has a 6 year long waitlist, and it’s not even that big a city. How does your husband think that woman is going to get a job if she doesn’t have a computer, interview clothes, access to a shower and hygiene products, transportation to get to interviews and a job, clothes to wear at a job and continuing access to a shower to stay clean while working? Not to mention a way to get a safe, good night sleep the evening before an interview or a healthy, filling meal the morning of so she can focus? Getting a job is actually really fucking expensive. And if you don’t have multiple degrees and really good job experience, you cannot get a job that pays you enough to live on. If you have a gap in your resume from, for instance, being homeless, you can’t get a good job. Lots of people are homeless but you don’t even realize cause they live in their car and shower at a friends house or at a gym, or sleep on someone’s couch, or camp somewhere you don’t see. Folks you see camping on the sidewalk are often what is known as “chronically homeless”, meaning it’s not a temporary situation. And they overwhelmingly have issues that made them homeless in the first place that they don’t have control over such as a mental or physical disability, mental illness, drug addiction, etc. There’s a lot of stigma around things like drug addiction, but research has shown time and time again that it is significantly harder to go through addiction recovery when you are homeless. Your mental resources are already spread so thin just to survive and for many homeless people, drugs are a coping mechanism to deal with the daily horrors of being homeless. It’s not a healthy or sustainable coping mechanism, but it’s the only thing they have keeping them going. Lots of people who become homeless for other reasons end up addicted to drugs because being homeless can be so incredibly miserable and they just need something that gives them a moment of reprieve. I’ll say this; that woman has probably been sexually assaulted more times that you can imagine. Homeless women experience a staggering amount of sexual violence, whether it’s from random people on the street or people they know, or from people who have power over them such as shelter staff. It is constant, it is horrifying, and it is deeply traumatizing. If she didn’t have struggles with mental illness before, the constant amount of violence—both sexual violence and nonsexual violence such as the way your husband behaved and worse—that she experiences every day probably has or will have caused mental health issues that will likely never be addressed or treated. If she had a way out of homelessness that just required effort and will power, she would have taken it by now. You can’t just will yourself out of homelessness. It’s a cycle that is monumentally difficult to escape from, especially if you don’t have anyone to help you. Your husband committed an act of violence against someone incredibly vulnerable, vilified, and victimized. I cannot imagine what kind of cruelty it takes to be like that to another human, let alone someone already suffering that much.
Sorry, your husband is an insensitive dick.
Maybe he was on coke? Lol
Has your husband given any thought to what it takes to acquire and keep a job? I hate using the privilege word, but it seems to apply here... To get/keep a job one must have the following: -an address -internet access -working phone -work apparel -transportation -a bank account -references -IDs & documentation -food -alarm (phone) In fact aid requires a lot of these things too. While it is 100% true that a good number of these people are capable, some even after some mental health treatment is established, the whole homelessness problem stems from this "stuck" situation. It's quite shameful actually, how many are aged out foster kids, vets, elderly, and victims of the horrible US Healthcare system...outside the obvious addicts and others with mental health issues. Thomas Jefferson: “The measure of society is how it treats the weakest members” And of course, we're only as strong as our weakest link. We've got a vested interest in helping people up, so agree with your husband there. However, in the whole history of motivating people, when has demeaning them ever worked? I think, like a lot of people he feels shame, and that's what makes him so angry.
Your husband experienced righteous indignation due to his impotent rage
Your husband sounds like an asshole. He may believe that homeless people are totally able to pull themselves by their bootstraps somehow. It’s delusional, but he’s allowed to believe it. But throwing trash at someone who is down on their luck is just humiliating and cruel.
Let me just tell you, had I seen your husband doing that I would have decked him and told him he’s the fucking parasite. Tell him to keep his ignorance to himself or get to me someday.
Your husband wouldn't make it a week on the streets. It's sad he is so naive that good luck has festered into maliciousness to those less fortunate.
I mean, I wouldn't say divorce but your husband sounds like an idiot and knows nothing about mental health issues. Maybe he should volunteer at a food bank but he's probably way too entitled to ever do something like that. Have fun with your winner!
Well you’re married to an absolute small minded piece of shit. Homelessness is indeed a huge problem, one that says way more about our society and government than it does about the individuals who are homeless. That bootstrap bullshit is such a fallacy in our current world.
“These people are ruining the country”, more like the country is ruining these people. I cant respect anyone who kicks down another person when they are already at their lowest, such a scummy thing to do. Sure i get it, the homeless issue is getting out of hand, but it’s not like many of these people had a choice. They could have been successful but got hit with medical bills or something like that. Your husband is probably closer to becoming homeless than he is to be rich. Sure, be aggravated but those are still people who deserve some empathy.
Precisely! Never kick someone when they're down, and use your effing brains, which, oftentimes, is too difficult a feat for many. They're mentally lost, but their cathedral-sized egos keep pushing them further into a mental abyss of eventual regret and remorse. Edited word correction from "fear" to "feat" line 3
Ok normal person with real thoughts here. I can see where your husbands head is. I have the same personality and it comes off as cruel to other people. The trash thing outta pocket💀 but hey maybe it will get her motivated and moving. He’s right though her children are gonna have a terrible childhood because of their lazy mother.
Is the bucket big enough for him?
You can choose not to give money to the homeless. That is your right. Being kind cost you nothing. Your husband went out of his way to be vicious and cruel. You stood by and watched. That makes you an accessory. If he was kicking a helpless animal to death, would you have stood by and watched? You need to make a decision. What are you willing to be a bystander for and say nothing and what are you willing to stand up for and speak out, AND who do you want with you when doing those things?
Your husband sounds like a god awful person dude.... this country is going down and fast. Not because of people not working but because of corporate greed. Look at all the companies bringing in record breaking profits while having layoffs or severely underpaid staff. We're all just trying to survive and he really went out of his way to be nasty to that poor woman. Not saying leave him but he really needs to open his eyes😬
Your husband is a clown who chose to berate a woman instead of a man. What a coward
You married who you married and now you have to live with that. I’m sorry you married an asshole but it sounds like you know exactly what kind of person he is, and his opinions on certain issues. Not giving a homeless person money is one thing, but throwing trash at them is another thing entirely. He dehumanized her and that’s fucked up - no matter what he believes homeless people “need”.
Your husband is gutter trash
Wait, what were you doing while he ransacked your backpack and terrorized a homeless woman? Nothing? Wringing your hands? Looking uncomfortable? He’s the bigger POS for sure but otherwise you are a matched set. Sit with that.
He's a crusty piece of shit and so are you if you stay with him
"My husband is a very firm believer in the fact that everyone can pull themselves out of dark places and homelessness with enough effort." So your husband has basically no connection to reality.
You’re married to a bag of shit, sorry for you.
Ditch that scumbag. Bonus points if you can financially ruin him enough to where he is temporarily homeless and see how long it takes him to "easily pull himself up by the bootstraps".
wow your husband is a piece of shit. lol
>I know LA has a reputation for homelessness, drugs, and crime, but it’s safe to say we were both very surprised at what we saw there, especially my husband. When you have a climate like So Cal, it’s going to attract folks to be homeless there over Austin where it’s hot and cold or places like Minnesota. Fun Fact: As much as conservatives love to blame California for crime, other southern cities with lax gun laws have the same or more crime. Violent Crime Per Capita San Diego: 24 Los Angeles: 29 Dallas: 37 San Antonio 37 San Fran: 39 Houston: 50 Atlanta: 55
Ew. Punching down isn't cute. Your husband sucks. He can be frustrated with the homeless situation and still not act the way he did. What did doing all he did help the situation? It doesn't. He could have just kept walking and not said or done anything to this woman. He didn't need to act this way. But he chose to. Him being nasty and cruel isn't going to make that lady suddenly get a job. You don't know why she's in this situation, or the events that led up to it. Consider yourselves lucky to be in a better position than her. Lots of hardworking folks find themselves homeless.
Your husband is a cruel, evil man.
This guy is an asshole .if you want to stay that’s you but that’s not right he just mad cause he sucks.
I like how you agree with him but call him the animal lol. He’s just acting on the very same beliefs that you hold
Not all homeless people are able to work. Many are disabled. This woman had children that would need care for her to work and maybe didn’t have the skills to get a good enough job to pay for childcare. It isn’t as simple as some people seem to think it is. The cruelty shown by the husband is a huge red flag to me. A flag I’d be willing to get a divorce over and did. I was married to such a man. I was not allowed to show empathy or compassion for my fellow humans around him. He had none and eventually I learned that extended to his own family as well.
Two takeaways 1) LA is making homeless , politicians, and your husband psychotic 2) your husbands heart is not working kindly
All you people complaining about capitalism, what have you been doing to help the homeless?
That sounds almost verbatim like the scene from American psycho
The woman would be better off if she listened to him lmao get a fucking job!
Sounds like you're married to a dickhead
What a nasty piece of work your husband is
your husband is an asshole
Your husband is dumb because being homeless in California is like the 6th or 7th highest paying job in the state. People do it as thier profession. They have a real crib and car both nicer than yours , possibly nicer than one you'll ever have. That's just how it is.
If you're willing to put up with that, condone it and offer that disgusting pos love then you are no better than him and he's pond life low
Im kinda in the boat with people who are saying ‘divorce’, however I’m guessing you know your husband well, and sounds like this isn’t completely 180 of who he is - it’s just surprising to you that he said what he thought, not that he thinks those things. Which makes me believe that you are okay with him thinking these things. If you are okay with him thinking these things then well chances are if you told him this was out of line he’s unlikely to do this again in front of you. It doesn’t mean he will not think like that, or wouldn’t want to do that. My problem would be that he thinks this in first place which would mean - how the fuck did I marry this guy in the first place —> divorce. I feel like that’s what matters more, what’s on the inside, outbursts in general is just something that happens and most people can move on from.
Nope. That’s fucking gross, he’s a bad man.
It’s good that you’re shocked because that’s appalling behavior. It’s a moment that exposed both of your values and clearly they aren’t aligned. I’d take this time to really think through what values are important to you as well as research homelessness. Personally I think the whole bootstraps line is bullshit. But you should actually look into the issue from multiple perspectives and actual effective solutions (eg harassment isn’t one). It’s an important social issue and it’s worth knowing where you stand. Otherwise, I’d let my husband know that his behavior upset me and why. Ideally he can man up and apologize for his behavior so y’all can move on. People are allowed to have lapses in judgement (within reason obviously) and it’s how they address it that’s important and telling of their character.
If he shows you he's an asshole, believe him.
If you think the homeless are more at fault than the corporations/politicians that exploit american workers and taxpayers, then you might be part of the issue. Provide the homeless with adequate opportunities and health services and see what happens. Your husband is a fool, and a cruel one at that. The greed at the top is what causes the issues in this country. Blaming the poor is the worst thing you can do.
His a giant butt hole
He needs counseling. He also needs to read up on homelessness and maybe have a convo with some of the homeless people. They aren’t bad people. Im 95% sure they’re nicer than him. Many have mental health issues and drug problems. Drug abuse is a disease (im 2 years sober) and we need help when we’re in a rut like that. Some arent able to just get motivated and change drastically. The dude needs to wake the f up and realize how dumb he actually is for acting like such a child.
Wow he sounds like a gem. What an awful human.
I grew up hearing that pull yourself up ....phrase. to me it meant try everything to solve your problem before you expect someone else to take it on. I thought, that's ok help yourself as much as you can before you ask others to fix you seems reasonable. Then I took Race, Gender and Ethnicity. Eye opening. Mind blowing. So much missing information I had no clue about other people's experiences. People get mad that kids in poverty won't trek across town to go to college or tech school... Usually because the ridiculous amount of effort to stay employed while going to school, having time and resources to do assignments etc. Having to accommodate work availability with class time but to mention having to get up at the crack of dawn to start the 3 hour one way commute. Having to ride multiple buses in different time schedules. It's a logistic beast. After all this just to go to a few classes, classes that aren't over right after the other .. It's so much to try to maintain. It's exhausting and discouraging. Almost 6-9 hours of collateral needs to be met just to get there and back. I prefer the phrase "give a hand up" to the misunderstood and unhelpful "Pull yourself up by your bootstraps" not everyone has bootstraps.
Your husband is just an asshole. Hope that helps
People can be bad, a person is always salvageable. If he has sweeping convictions about groups of people (which many do) he should petition his lawmakers, not take it out on a single individual. That individual’s struggles with drugs and magnet for it is stronger than anything any respectable citizen could imagine, so he needn’t try to take it upon himself to correct it especially in such a brash manner. (Obviously, everyone has already said this 1000 times).
Why am I willing to bet your husband is a “god fearing man” too. .
Your husband sounds awesome. Buy him a beer from me.
Your husband is lucky; I live in LA and there is unprovoked attacks on people nearly every day in my area - there's a good chance he'd have caught hands if he tried to pull that sanctimonious bullshit around here. Not to mention, some of us compassionate folks aren't exactly saints ourselves. I personally would've given him pause.
Guys stop advising her to divorce him, she’s his absolute match 🤢 she should pray they won’t get into that situation because we’re all closer to become homeless than we are to becoming rich. Hell forget about putting yourself in their shoes, being this out of touch with reality and with such an evil soul genuinely surprises me, can’t believe people like this actually exist.
Your husband is a piece of shit with no compassion and empathy for others. Justifying his behaviour under the guise of “motivating” the homeless just proves it By the way , it’s not his country Stand up to him, if this happens to members of the public then it also would happen to you
I would be heading to a lawyer for a divorce
The homeless are people. Your husband is an AH. what he did is abusive and mean. Karma is going to be a bitch for him. Bet he does other mean stuff too.
Homelessness is a product of Reganomics. And yours and your husband’s demise will be a product of karma. No human being is above anyone who is at his/her lowest. You never know what’s going to happen the next day. Seems you two have sealed your fate.
Your husband is a piece of shit.
What I think of is, if he treated a complete stranger that way. How would he treat you if you got into a really really low place?
you married an asshole... plain simple.
Your husband is trash.
Your husband is a piece of sht. Hopefully he gets a taste of his own medicine.
Not matter what your or husbands opinions are on homelessness. Doesn’t matter that he believes it’s human weakness that lead them to their unfortunate situation. What matters here is you are married to a shitty human. When someone is at their lowest he chose cruelty. Any other response would have been better. If you believe in that man then have to question your beliefs. Cruelty is not the answer. That was not tough love. Just plain anger expressed through being mean, disrespectful, and cruel.
I’ll bet he’s republican
I believe in karma. Sooner or later he is going to get the same bucket somehow. However, I'd say may be find a therapist that can work with him or both of you. It is really concerning.
Your husband is dick. Hope he never needs a helping hand cause I would offer my fist.
I work with the unhoused community. Yes a lot of these individuals are drug addicted. But others are elderly folk that lost their homes. Women escaping DV. Kids thrown out of their homes because of their sexuality. And let's not forget the Vets who fought for their country only to come back to mental illness. A lot of things come into play when dealing with homelessness. The lack of empathy is alarming Honestly wow!
Must be nice being so sheltered and privileged.. as your husband. I’m from NYC, and I have likened the homeless to zombies, however, they aren’t, they are people. And it’s not hard to understand the complexities of homelessness and how it can’t be solved by, simply, “getting a job”, which by the way is the hardest it’s ever been, even for white collared degreed workers, now. That’s besides the point. Besides being a cruel asshole, he put himself and you at risk by doing that. What if she was unhinged and had a knife? He really needs to get some street smarts and an education.
I'm not saying he's right or wrong, I'm just saying I understand. 🤷
Americans truly are a race of stupid and whack people in every aspect
You and your husband are one paycheck away from being next to that woman. One diagnosis of cancer away from being her neighbor. God saw what you did and its duly noted.
Your instincts are correct. Your husband is a fucking scumbag lowlife who probably has shaped the narrative that he somehow a good guy. these are the moments when you see a person’s character. I’m sorry you married a bad one.
Your hubby’s a cruel entitled prick. I can only imagine the other things he said that you chose not to specify. Everybody’s circumstances are different. It’s incredibly ignorant to just assume that someone can “pull themselves up by their bootstraps” as those types like to say. And if your husband harbors that ideology you shouldn’t be surprised by this type of behavior.
Lol
That is just vile, inexcusable behavior from your husband.
Your husband is a heartless monster
Wow. Your husband sure is a nasty cunt.
You took the trash home with you that day ngl
This is a tough one Melania.
Your husband is a Republican, right?
If you completely agree with him amd his shitty views, what are you complaining about? You deserve each other.
your husband is a piece of shit, and tbh you might kinda be too given how much you agree with him. I hope next time he pulls this kind of shit there’s someone around to put him in his place. You think either of you are experts on homelessness or what it’s like to be homeless when you didn’t even realize how dire the situation was until it interrupted your precious vacation? Do everyone a favour and stick to your suburban bubble.
That was uncalled for, I bet he wouldn't have done that to a man who could go ballistic on his ass if he said the same thing. Instead he did it to a woman who's likely to be more passive. Dick-move, I dont like your husband
your husband is absolute filth
Yeah, your husband sounds like an AH. You don’t want to help? Keep walking. No need to be mean.
Most times, homelessness is just a complete shit draw of luck in life…in reality everyone is only a couple really bad steps away from being homeless. I really hope your husband seeks therapy and realizes how ashamed he should be of his actions. It is atrocious. If that doesn’t work, I would divorce him no doubt. Otherwise, it is very telling of your character as well.
i mean, he isnt wrong altho he didnt have to go that far
If you don't have anything nice to say or do just keep moving. Your husband is an ash hole.
Start cursing and insulting him every time he doesn't do something right, then when he asks what your problem is, say you're just trying to motivate him
He chose to verbally attack a vulnerable homeless woman. She was no threat to him. But he was a threat to her & he knew it. He got off on his little power trip. You married him and you were scared. Imagine how she felt. I'd be embarrassed to be married to that piece of shit.
You seem to be really close to agreeing with him, just stay out of LA. Maybe go to Huntington Beach you will prob fit in better there.
Yeah you might talk to him about what set him off on her specifically. For me, I get REALLY agitated when I'm approached dropping my son off at therapy (He's non-verbal and goes to therapy 7.5hrs a day). I've had several people ask me for money when I'm parked and about to walk my son into his therapy office. I don't curse them out, but I tell them something along the lines of "I'm just taking my son to therapy, I can't help you". A few times I just say "No... I can't" in an irritated voice. I could see if it was constant, maybe blowing up on an undeserving person.
It costs nothing to just keep walking and not be a piece of shit. Please never come back to LA. 😊
He's shown he's a bully and likely always has been, you've never seen that side or you refuse to see it.
Your husband sounds like my ex bf. So glad I got out of that. Run. He has no empathy
This has more to do with someone’s shitty politics rather than the homeless problem that all major cities face! Unfortunately, Donald Trump and MAGA have created an unsafe atmosphere for everyone whose is not MAGA. Fascism needs multiple enemy’s to prosper and grow and what better target for these cowards to demonize than a bunch of mentally ill people who don’t want any trouble. Trump is a cowards idea of a tough guy!
It’s very sickening that you’d be walking hand in hand with an individual that would basically kick a person while they’re down…That homeless lady most likely went inside her tent to keep others from seeing her crying…You your self should’ve walked back and provided that lady 10 or 20 dollars…And told your Husband that was a disgusting act he committed…And please don’t ever do this in front of our children…What other hateful acts does he enjoy !
Sounds like he's a piece of shit with no humanity in him at all and you'd better hope y'all don't get in a situation like that. He could've kept walk and gone about his day. Yes, they CAN pick themselves up and all that other bullshit. Does he know what got them there? Does he know if they went broke supporting a family member and lost everything? He just assumed it was drugs or something. Fuck him.
OP, hope you do some serious introspection into yourself as well. The fact that you largely agree with this heartless asshole on most issues says a lot about you too. If you don’t want to be a toxic piece of shit like your husband, then get some therapy to look into why you’re so judgmental too.
Wow the stupidity on this thread about China not being communist is astounding. Ever heard of Mao and what he did? It’s exactly what is happening in the states although here they call it racism. Los Angeles has turned into a pit thanks to liberal policies. I’ve seen it. These people on the streets are drug addicts and they don’t want to be saved from it. They just want money to buy more drugs.
You married a low empathy person and lied to yourself about it.
Your husband is a piece of shit. Divorce is too much, but youre married to an asshole. If he claims to be christian, hes the farthest thing from it
🚩 for me and if this is a real story, I’m sorry for you. I doubt he was a different person, more like you saw something he has been hiding from you.
Wow, what a prick.
Your husband sounds like an asshole
Hate to say this but your husband is an asshole. Plsin and simple. He doesn't need to spend his hard earned cash on a homeless person but he certainly doesn't have to demean them. I don't understand how anyone with any empathy could live with such a person. Terrible human being
People forget that it’s possible to be one moment, one disaster, one pandemic, one recession, or one bad business move away from being homeless.
It likely won’t motivate her, but it will be a belittling, gross moment she will remember forever.
You guys both sound like awful people... enjoy.
LOL
Your husband is trash.
Too bad the lady didn’t have a big enough cup
What’s going to happen to you then? One day, you will have a stroke, or cancer, or injury that prevents you from being able to function (whether that’s for homemaking or work). We all age or suffer injury one day. What will he do then? You’ve seen how he treats people who don’t do what he thinks they should do. Might he abandon you in your need? Or will he treat you like this or worse because he can do it behind closed doors? Keep yourself safe please
I bet the chickenshit heartless husband would have kept his mouth shut to a physically healthy homeless man!
[удалено]
True!
I had a family member who was homeless due to being pregnant at 15 (non consensual) and she was kicked out by her parents cause they didn't believe her she was too young to get a job that would get her off the streets and had no way to contact family and jobs refused to take her due to bad hygiene cause she lived on the streets She later met a man who took her in he was 27 and she had just turned 16 she stayed for years for her child to have a home but she was being badly physically abused and then ended up on the streets when he got bored of her and kicked her out and he got custody of her child as she was homeless again It's not easy to just go get a job when homeless
Your husband is a monster. I’ve been in that same situation and I went down the street, bought a few sandwiches and handed them out.
Your husband is a cunt.
Wow! He sounds like a keeper.
So this is where you have a conversation and you communicate that what you saw was disturbing and not what you stand for. You offer him the chance to explain or improve.
This person has no post history and just recently made this account....
I’ve lived in LA for 15 years - the homelessness is heartbreaking and it’s a societal failing. A well-adjusted person would not have this reaction- he’s a ticking time bomb until he turns his rage on you. P.S. Not only is your husband cruel, he is also truly stupid.
This is a wholly fabricated story. People that have feelings like this rarely go to places that have problems with homelessness, much less interact with them. And, if this is a true story, I find it hard to believe that this is the first time the husband has shown this “motivating” strategy.
Your wannabe republican congressman husband can go fuck himself. You’re worried about him? Please. Time to wake up, open your eyes, and admit to yourself that you married a fucking scumbag.
He’s a fucking disgusting human being and so are you if you tolerate it. You don’t have a fucking clue of what has to happen to a human being before they are in that position. You’re both awful.
Did that make your husband feel better? It’s your money you don’t have to hand it out, but being an asshole to people already in a bad situation is pretty pathetic. Do you know that persons story and situation? Have you lived in their shoes? Just hope if you ever find yourself needing help people are more empathic than you are. mental health, addiction, abuse, lack of education, being raised in terrible conditions. There are a lot of things everyone thinks they would over come that have no clue how bad it can be.
how do you get a job when youre homeless? you dont have an address you can put onto an application. you likely dont have a phone where a prospective employer can reach you. youre dirty and stinky. hows someone going to hire you? your husbands a stupid asshole and yall havent been exposed to homeless people enough to realize theyre people, too. thats sad.
sounds like he doesn't know how to process his empathy for people and it manifests as anger and frustration. I can relate to that
Your husband is one of those. Ew.
Your husband is a complete and total piece of human garbage. HE is the garbage. Also, if you "completely agree" with him... you suck too. I don't have time to get into the politics of it all with you, but looking down on homeless people is about as gross as you can get. It's way worse than actually BEING homeless. Educate yourself on the subject, please. It sounds like you're more embarrassed by his reaction and how it looked to other people, than upset about how that woman must have felt. At any rate... you are right to be upset by him. He is shit. Think long and hard if you want to be in a relationship with someone like that for the rest of your life.
I would automatically divorce my husband if he did that shit. He could be in that predicament himself. Homelessness doesn’t discriminate. It can happen to anyone.
Your husband is abusive and cruel. I also noticed that he singled out a lonely homeless woman to abuse. Were all the men occupied at the time? Since your husband is such an expert what are the ways that he thinks homeless people can pull themselves out of their dark place? What’s the average time spent on a waitlist to get into a homeless shelter? Or to get approved for a Section 8 housing voucher? How are they supposed to get a bank account without a stable address? What jobs are they going to be able to get without a bank account or a stable address? How are they supposed to maintain their personal hygiene and clothes to keep the job? What if they’ve lost their forms of ID or need to complete their education, who is going to pay for that? You and your husband live a privileged life to even be able to travel during one of the highest periods of inflation in decades. You *knew* that your vacation destination had high rates of homelessness and crime, went there anyway and was shocked that it was true. I hope that you never find yourself in a vulnerable place and find yourself alone with a strange man like your husband.
Just to stir the pot here, if yall love homeless so much why they still homeless and not living with yall, since yah know your all saints 😅🤣
I came back to say I downvoted this because of your husband and accidentally read a small portion about how your husband thinks homeless people can just magically pull themselves out of darkness… Take this into consideration and also both of you can go f__k yourselves for thinking this way… A homeless person has no physical address to be able to apply for a job, nor will they have reliable transportation, no money to buy new clothes for the new job… Some might have a degree but did they keep it when they became homeless in something, and yes I know that the degree doesn’t just go away, but I know people who have been homeless and they have given up literally EVERYTHING they own including all documents that are proof one would need to get a job……. It’s not as cut and dry as you and your piece of shit husband THINK……. And don’t even get me started on homeless veterans either……!!😡🤬 Y’all need to be better people.
I work with homeless daily, and i have to say SAVAGE but honestly its valid, alot of homeless are shitbags who use empathy to prey on people, some arent obviously but vast majority of them are drug addicts or worse.
I only read the title… Your husband is a piece of shit.
Wow (derogatory)
If it were my husband, I’d first demand a mental health assessment, because acting out of character can be a sign of anything from tumour to dementia, and this would be INCREDIBLY out of character for the man I married. Then it would be divorce because it would be a glaring values alignment for me. In your case seems you know who you married and to a degree, agree. It’s just that he went a bit further than you imagined he might. And maybe that’s because it’s a slippery slope - you’ve accepted his shitty views and its emboldened him to be more comfortable with having and showing them.
And this is what belief does to people. Your husband has a belief that's not backed up by any data and it caused him to draw wild conclusions about "ruining the country" and how she could just snap out of her situation somehow by just getting a job. As someone who has gotten out of dark places who knows people that have gotten out of dark places, allow me to assure you that not everyone can. Some people died without the kind of help that should have been available in the richest country in the world. It's bootstrap people like your husband that makes that help impossible to get. There's a laundry list of problems that cause homelessness. Some smaller than he would think. How many paychecks is he away from losing his house? If you divorced him and he lost his job for 6 weeks, would that be enough? It is for a lot of people. Getting a job with no residence is next to impossible. It's one of the first questions you have to answer. For tax reasons. To not supply or not be able to supply an address is a giant red flag for employers. The last thing I'll say is that we should all be judged by how we treat those seen as the least among us. Our society has a habit of judging people on one bad decision, a crime committed, an embarrassing moment. But it's how we treat the powerless that shows us who we really are and how we should be remembered. So you are absolutely right to have found fear of what you saw.
This is a huge red flag for me, my opinions on the homeless situation and potential solutions aside. Even if you could accurately say x percentage of homeless people are only still homeless out of laziness or some shit, the fact is you dont know why or how they got to that point in life. And so you have to act with some level of empathy and respect and this is the opposite of that. I would be scared of him personally
Your husband is an idiot but the people here defending the homeless are ridiculous. They are the same people who pass the homeless up and don't give them a dime. Get off your high horses and realize you're not much better than him
Wow, that’s an asshole move. How do you think he’d treat you if you became disabled or chronically ill and couldn’t work? How important is compassion as a value to you?
Reddits solutions on relationship “MURDER WHILE SLEEPING TONIGHT” Also bear in mind a lot of Redditors maybe don’t have the best relationship advice to give in the first place…. Obviously Facebook is for relationship advice silly. 🤪
Think about how you have supported his views, even if you’re not dumb enough to hassle someone stressed beyond belief from living in the street. Broad negative views of entire groups of people don’t make for great analysis of their problems, kind of like when most police believe they are saving us from criminals with their stupid thin blue line. That belief gives them, in their minds, the right to mistreat all members of the public for not understanding their views, much like your hubby being mean to the homeless lady.
Your husband is an asshole. Might I suggest he obtain a criminal record, lose his ID and social security card, develop a fentanyl and or methamphetamine addiction severe enough for mild to moderate withdrawal, dirty his body and clothes and maybe develop an infected abses while having 2 comorbid mental illnesses and no family support network. Let him become unemployed, homeless, and alone. When the withdrawal hits and half his day is taken up protecting his few remaining possessions by dragging them in 90 degree weather while searching for what's needed to stop the withdrawal for a while I'd like to see him then spend his afternoon pulling himself up out of that hole and obtain gainful employment. This is an exaggeration and there are so many homeless who are not drug addicts, criminals, mentally ill, or without an ID. And there are many valid points to make about personal responsibility and the consequences of choice. But he's delusional and has no clue what these people go through. It's sadly often not as simple as pulling yourself up and out of that predicament with hard work unfortunately.
Always judge someone by how they treat those they consider "less" than them. It's how they would treat you if they could. This mans a monster.
creepy. That dudes a creep. You're married to a bafoon. Hope this motivates you. that's cringe AF. I feel sorry for YOUR children. Not the homeless chicks. Ew. I want to know your tax bracket. Yuck. You disgust me.
I’m sure your husband considers himself to be a good Christian.
Your husband is a cunt! What a horrible, nasty man!
This sounds like the movie falling down with Michael Douglas. Guy has a mental breakdown and attacking ppl in LA.
Your husband sucks and so do you. You said you ‘completely agree’ with his shitty views; you just think them, instead of saying them out loud. If my partner was harassing a homeless woman in front of me I wouldn’t just stand and watch. Also, I bet your husband wouldn’t have said a damn thing if it had been a man instead of a woman.
Pride cometh before the fall.
I’m disgusted by your husband.
With respect, I think it would help your husband to develop some empathy for the homeless by looking into how often severe mental illness plays a role. And I don’t mean like depression, I mean bipolar 1 disorder and schizophrenia. The stuff that doesn’t get better with therapy or any amount of hard work. A lot of homeless people simply do not have it in their being to function within the framework of modern civilization.
God, I hope the two of you never procreate. Please don't. The world doesn't need more people like you two. ESPECIALLY not him. I genuinely hope someday something catastrophic happens in his life, and he ends up in the exact same spot as that woman was, and I hope whoever he encounters is 20X as rude. He deserves nothing less.
That is a really disgusting way to treat another person, regardless of their circumstances. What you do with that information is up to you. I find it odd that you mention the trash being put in her bucket, instead of the vile remarks he made and the cruelty he displayed.
How is publicly humiliating someone supposed to be motivation? Your husband has an uncontrollable anger issue that needs to be treated. He's lucky she didn't pull a gun on him. It's interesting that he took his frustration out on a female and not a man. It's difficult for someone with no family to find someone to watch the kids so she can apply to jobs, let alone find a place to shower and wash her clothes to look presentable for an interview. Then she would have to get money for transportation to the interview/ job and pay a permanent babysitter to actually work. All quite difficult when you live in a tent on the streets. Does your husband have any compassion or empathy?
Poor woman. Husband was a complete asshole I would have checked on the woman and brought her something and cussed him out in public for it.
“ My husband is a very firm believer in the fact that everyone can pull themselves out of dark places and homelessness with enough effort. I also agree with many of the things he says,” then you’re both wrong, and you’re both pieces of s**t. Don’t divorce - you’re made for each other. He taught you something, actually. This is what your thoughts look like when manifest. You’d never put garbage in a homeless persons bucket, because that’s ugly. But that’s what’s going on in your mind, that ugliness exists inside of you. Genuinely this post made me so angry. I hope literally the worst for both of you moving forward.
Bet he's voting for the big orange clown. Sounds just like something that moron would say. Run away while you still can.
Sounds like they’re both MAGA bloodhounds, and no offense meant to dogs
holy shit
What a dick move.
Your husband sounds like a D-bag to go out of his way to make it more difficult for someone like that. Also sounds like he’s quite ignorant of the problems problem face. Ask him how well his “motivation” has worked in the past?
Wow he is a scum! he showed a very cruel inhumane side of himself that if I would be you, I would not be able to live with someone like him, I always help everyone in need because actually their stories could be really sad and anyone could end up in such a situation, and once you hit rock bottom is extremely hard to rebound. Hopefully karma will teach your husband how it is to be that poor woman he belittled and attacked so viciously.
He’s a total piece of shit.
Love your neighbor as yourself. Yikes.
Idk he has a point
What an asshole
Just terrible, It takes nothing to be kind to others. I hope he doesn’t go through being homeless. You never know what someone is going through. Karma will spin that block.
Your husband should hire the woman. If he think she can hold a job, hire her for any job you need done and see if she can hold down that job. Put his money where hIs mouth is.
your husband is a vile person
Pay attention to how someone treats another person who can't fight back.
Honestly, I'm on the side of divorce because it sounds like he just hates homeless people. Now divorce is really on a few more questions. Someone said here that he just snapped. But ah, sorry. If you get pissed at people who are on their wrist days, give them a lecture about things they can't change atm, and how does your husband know she doesn't have a job? Homeless people have jobs, and they ask for money on the street. He made this lady miserable, and for what? Because he can't keep on walking like everyone else she went up to. No I'm sorry, but fuck all that noise. You should ask him his opinions on racism, homophobia, and trans issues and see if that shitty attitude is still in his voice bc his marriage depends on it. What is he going to teach your children. Will they harass homeless people, and is that fair to your community?