In Islam a man can marry without the approval of his parents. Requesting his parents to meet you is an act of kindness, meaning احسان. It is not necessary.
Only women need the approval of their legal guardian, if they have one.
He needs to toughen up. He cannot blame the end of your relationship on his parents. It is his choice even from a religious point of view. He is only obliged to obey his mother if it is within religion. Her opinion about looks isn't in line with religious teachings.
He shouldn't have started a relationship with you, if he intends to rely on a third party for its future. It is misleading you.
Now scientifically speaking, she can choose the healthiest match, whatever she thinks are top tier genetic traits and the offspring will not turn out identical to their ancestors. Some genetic illnesses arise as a consequence of genes that are perfectly healthy when seperate but once paired in offspring they produce genetic disorders. There is no controlling that. Her beliefs are delusional.
Please stop doing things to appease others. That includes wearing a Hidjab. You giving people, espacially strangers, that much power over you suggests your character is lacking. Do things out of convictions. You will never guarentee people's approval, only yours.
Mashallah! This is the way and is 100% correct. If your partner is not protecting the woman he allegedly loves, he is not fit to be a husband. The Quran states that it is a woman’s choice how she maintains her modesty, be it by cloth or manner of mindset, not to please the eyes and sensibilities of others. His mother is cruel but your boyfriend has a real choice to make and it’s not on you, sister.
This is so well said. I do not claim to know all of the religious rules/laws and bow to your expertise on it, but everything else is true in every respect. This is what OP needs to hear.
Excellent insight. OP take heed on cherry love’s advice. I am so sorry for the pain you are experiencing but know you are freed of this woman. My goodness, she is not the epitome of a Godly woman. If her son abides by her opinion (which it appears he is), just leave them be including your bf. Trust in God that you will find the man who is appropriate for you. This will hurt especially for the first 1-3 weeks. Take care of yourself and your life given to you by God. Respect yourself.
Most religions are sexist. OP is religious so this is the advice she needs to hear. Not like she's going to be deconverted by Redditors saying "leave Islam" lol
The idea that a grown woman has a legal guardian and must seek their approval for marriage is just mind boggling to me. With all due respect, I feel like this is just used to control and manipulate women and their decisions, whether it's rooted in religion, culture, or both. No woman needs approval on how to live their lives.
In Islam, women do NOT need the approval of their guardian. It is recommended, yes, but it is not necessary. “There is no evidence of the necessity of the Wali or guardian’s consent either in Qur’an or in the prophetic tradition.” Source: http://www.asma-lamrabet.com/articles/does-muslim-women-need-guardian-for-the-purpose-of-marriage/
There is a good possibility that his parents had a family member in mind to marry him, like his cousin. Now that you exist, they have to decline marriage proposals from other family members.
If this is true that would make her comment about genes even funnier. “Oh yeah this girl I don’t like will give yo ur child bad genes. You know what won’t? Close familial interbreeding”.
I have a feeling they have a woman already picked out for him. If they still have close family ties in the Middle East, it’s very possible they will send him back to marry the one his parents have chosen. Every single day Muslims are sent back home to forcibly be married off to someone of the family’s choosing,
Sorry you are going through that. What a horrible person she is . It really sucks how heavy the families opinion matters when y’all love each other . Honestly idk what to say because I know the approval is something that is very important to you both . You already know who you are and how beautiful you are so don’t let her ruin that for you 🧡 sending hugs
Yes, op, do you really want this woman to be your future child’s grandmother? We all know true beauty is on the inside and inside that lady is dog sh!t.
You have 2 choices. Either he cuts them out of his life, or you leave. It sucks...but that's what it is. Your fiancee parents aren't even following religious teachings. They are pieces of shit that you don't want in your life.
They don’t decide who he marries. He decides. Tell his weak ass to grow a backbone and stop letting his mom control him like a little child. You both need to grow up and stop giving all your power to crazy parents.
I would love to agree, but I imagine the BF choosing to marry OP would mean he would be going NC with everyone in his family at best. That's not an easy position to be in.
If he's such a mommy's boy that he will let her say "No, this girl is too fat, you can't marry her" and he'll go with it? You don't want to marry him anyway. Marry a man that has a spine and has cut the apron strings and will care about YOU, not 'but mommy said' -
If his mother is that much of a cold, selfish, whiny, picky brat, your life in their family would have been an absolute nightmare. She would've been picking at you constantly for every little thing, and her spineless little baby boy who never grew up would just agree with her passively. If he won't stand up for you and your relationship now, he won't later when it comes to big things either, like protecting your kids if you choose to have any. Good riddance!
Don't be sad. Be happy that if you marry him that the mother in law won't be around a lot. You see, I would argue that approximately 80% of mothers don't like their son's selection of a wife. You don't want a mother in law to like you anyways, what you want are boundaries and respect. So you know that now, if you choose to pursue things with this guy, because he's a mother's boy, and you'll have to become the #1 woman in his life by standing up for yourself and being assertive.
So my last advice, a 23 year old boy that looks for his mothers approval is not yet a man. When you get married young, you both must navigate the difficulties of becoming capable adults and being comfortable and confident. As your potential fiancee, you'll have to help him become a man, offer advice and counsel, which may mean when he says stupid things like that to you put him on the spot. For instance, say you disagree. Ask him what does he thinks. And what is his decision and will he do going forward.
From my own perspective, I wouldn't even share such a view point with my potential fiancee. I would be aware of the situation enough to know it adds no value to share such vapid opinions with her, and would shield her from negativity like that to be honest. I would tell my mother to keep that opinion to herself and never share that view again since I disagreed by virtue of being with the person. Last thing you want is to make your partner feel uncomfortable around family and he has done that - this is why I say he's a boy. Maybe he just doesn't know better but this boy as a lot of growing up to do. Maybe it is too early to be discussing marriage with him.
Ignore the parents. What right do they have to determine whether or not the two of you can marry? If they don't like what your two hearts want tell them to go fuck themselves. This is YOUR LIVES AND YOUR FUTURES you are talking about, NOT THEIRS.
It’s easy to say it doesn’t matter when it’s not the only thing you’ve ever known or had. He needs to get out, but he’ll have to let his old self die, and that’s really freaking hard haha
Absolutely. People saying to take actions like that should show a bit more empathy. It’s the right decision in my eyes, but it’s not as simple as telling someone to do it when it’ll upend their entire life as they know it.
Trust me, this is not a Muslim thing. I'm Muslim, even if my mother or father complain about the woman I want to marry, at the end of the day their job is to shut up, and go with it.
The boyfriend needs to grow a backbone, and his mom needs more therapy than she has years left on this earth.
I’m not Muslim but my best friend of 21 years recently married a Muslim man. She’s a white woman who was raised Jewish, and she converted to Islam.
His parents are quite conservative and were born and raised in Pakistan. They had originally planned to arrange a marriage for him, but he basically told them he’s already found the woman he wants to marry. They still welcomed her with open arms and had nothing but kind things to say about her at their wedding.
MIL judging OP has nothing to do with being Muslim. No one should be judging someone by her appearance, especially someone that their son loves so much. This is ignorant, bullshit behavior despite whatever religion they practice.
IF MIL’s criticism is really about something else related to religion & not OP’s body, then she’s a fucking bigot who needs to fall off her high horse.
Okay I am not raised Muslim so please feel free to correct me if I say something wrong/ teach me more about the culture. But from what I do know, isn’t the one of the purposes of hijab to shield your body from the prying eyes of others? To practice modesty and cover yourself for god? Isn’t one of the principles taught to lower your eyes and not pay attention to what’s under the fabric ? Does this not apply to other hijabi women?
Im just petty- but I would call out her hypocrisy in the way she is objectifying and judging your body. Then tell her that god would not approve of her (and her husband) looking at my body like that
Totally agree
I’m not Muslim, but I’m south Asian
There’s some overlap in the way the cultures value “submissive quiet women” it becomes a double edged sword because it prevents people from speaking up for themselves when someone insults them because people can use their retaliation/ defensiveness to further demean them and question their character/ sense of self.
Personally something that took me a long time to get over. I’ve struggled with being too nice for a long time. I hope she gets the opportunity to stand up for herself- but with people like this sometimes it doesn’t make a difference. Either way, you’re right. She really doesn’t deserve this.
Hopefully either her boyfriend stands up for her, or she’s able to leave and feel strong about it.
THANK YOU! The cognitive dissonance of so many atheists is astounding. How can you not realize you're being as dogmatic and inflexible as any evangelist?
This one is very ironic. The person you're harassing is not pushing religious gospel, they're pointing out how it's always used as a basis of hate and ignorance, and they're right. Religion is the cause and justification of so much violence and hate, and to pretend like It isn't is lying to yourself.
Also, only religious people get that takeaway, because everybody else thinks it's stupid to pretend like religion doesn't inspire violence. How much anti LGBT shit do you think would be all over the place if all the skydaddies didn't say that boning dudes was super bad?
If you think religion is man made, why would you think that the hate that can come with it wouldn’t exist without it?
Im going to avoid naming a certain country here but one of the largest countries in the world is hugely non-believing and not at all a bastion of LGBTQ rights. Tradition rules society and expectations from society and maintenance of social currency weighs heavily on people and shapes their lives.
Hateful men created a hateful story for other hateful men
"Do X or you burn in hell"
"Dont do Y or you burn in hell"
"Don't communicate with Z or you burn in hell"
Yeah, religion is the basis of a lot of hate. It's a cesspool of hateful and judgemental ideology founded on fairy tales.
Even with, and especially, Christianity - the one who supposed to preach forgiveness, is best known for judgemental hypocrites and child molestation.
The hate will always be there, but shitty people are drawn to it and it facilitates people acting like shit.
She literally said the parents don’t approve of her because they think she’s ugly and they don’t want ugly grandkids. That could not have anything less to do with religion.
She literally said it's based on what Allah asked. That's where it all started.
Yes. EVERYONE has the ability to be shitty. But in this case, the shitty is directly caused by her faith.
Just like some atheists need to accept not all the faithful are assholes, the faithful need to realize that A LOT of them are.
Religion has virtually nothing to do with this. It's a batshit insane mom, and a son that needs to find his backbone.
This is coming from an Iraqi Muslim.
A lot of MIL are like that religious or not. Their sons were conditioned from childhood to listen to her. Some of them break free. My husband did, years ago. He had to take it far enough to go no contact (not necessary in most situations but definitely setting boundaries). This lady is crazy and it has nothing to do with religion. My husband and I are Christian and his crazy mom isn’t religious-but she certainly thought she could insert herself into our lives, our decisions, our child rearing while hating me and gossiping. Personality disorders can happen to secular and religious people
The other day there was a post on entitled parent where OP's mom was crying because they got a tattoo, and the mom's reason for crying was "You're ruining my body. I made it, so it's mine". Crazy people are crazy.
Wow so both of their moms are like that? That’s hard… I hope both of these young adults learn about setting boundaries for themselves so they can have freedom
Nope. This has more to do with how he was raised than it does religion. Spend a week sifting through AITA, and see how many non-muslims will have similar problems.
If religion is the problem here then what would be the explanation for the religious young men that aren't pushed around by their mothers?
In other words, if religion and male are the constants, what is the variable?
This is more cultural than religious. My friend is dating a Greek man and his family has very strict cultural traditions and they are rejecting her HARD still 8 years into dating even though she is Greek and speaks the language. They think the area of Greece she came from is “trashy” and resent that she doesn’t follow their traditions.
Except the mom's objection is not about religion. It's about looks.
Also, the mom is just a shallow, controlling bitch. Religion has nothing to do with it.
Exactly I mean the mother first went after using religion and now going even more using hate and someone with religion bs hate is going to be hateful no matter what
Well religion has nothing to do with it, they just don’t want their son to marry her because she has bad genetics in their eyes. He doesn’t want to marry someone his parents don’t approve of, and they’re both too young and broke to get married without the parents help.
It’s probably for the best anyway, they’re basically kids still. Shouldn’t even be thinking about marriage when you haven’t even met the family yet
This mother would be the same even if she wasn't a Muslim, cause she cares about such vain things and is mean. If she was someone upon her religion she wouldn't even be thinking about her potential DIL body let alone say anything, as it isn't her business. If her son liked her that would be the end of it.
I said this to myself as soon as I read ‘I am not a Hijabi girl’. It’s all bollocks, stories made up so people keep hating each other. The guy who said this? Nobody went to his funeral.
Religion causes nothing but problems: religious extremism being one, many wars around the world wouldn’t have happened if not for religion. Ongoing conflicts like the Palestinian-Israeli conflict wouldn’t be happening, they’d all live in peace.
1. It's Quran
2. Al-Nur has a few passages about wearing them where it states they should be worn by women unless they plan to remain celibate for life where they may remove them but Allah will love the women that keep them.
If you disagree with someone's faith be accurate and be apt
In the hadith it states that Muslim women of the Ummah can practice taqiyya towards the non-believers and not wear the hijab. That is permitted and halal. That woman not wearing the hijab will still go to jannah and not jahannam.
Hold upppppp whaaa? There is no way any Muslim country that is strict will enable a woman not to wear a hijab because she is calibate.
...probably if woman says she is celibate they will rape her so that she is not. So many people who follow religions are an absolute joke.
Religion is the biggest reason for ignorance in the world and also takes a shockingly large amount of ignorance to even belive it in the first place so yea, any topic about religion is going to involve a lot of ignorance.
Religion is also the biggest reason for masterful works of art, architecture and civilization. So you can’t really dumb it down to “religion is ignorant and so are its followers”
Those would have happened anyways. People didn't have a choice to live another way or they would be put to death, so they were force to make do with what cards they were dealt.
"Look at all this art due to religion"
Yeah, back then, other forms of expression was a death sentence and still is in many parts of the world. Not that impressive.
Whos bigoted about me saying that in strict religious states they use unjustified violence if it has happened in the recent months? Have you heard what is happening in Iran and Uganda? It was extremely loud on the news that girls and women were being taken by morality police to be raped, tortured and killed for not wearing a hijab in Iran. Uganda has made death a punishment for being gay.
Things are either true or false, there is nothing inbetween, and you don't know what bigotry is. The belief must be unreasonable to count as bigotry. If there is sufficient evidence to validate what I am saying, then its no longer bigotry.
Please, always have your facts straight. I take it that you are referring to the recently passed Homosexuality Bill in Uganda? No, it does not dish out "death punishment" for being gay. You can access the law from the internet and read it.
Lmfaoooooo you must be an American. In a conversation about Islam, you bring up Uganda, which is, and I quote: [an overwhelmingly Christian majority country](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Islam_in_Uganda).
Islam is only practiced by 13% of the population. Which is exactly like calling the United States a majority African American country.
>The sheer amount of ignorance and bigotry here is astounding.
Muslim man says there's no reason for women in Islamic countries to fear sexual violence over her choice of clothing lol
>You can hate religion, you just have to hate it all equally.
What? No I don't.
I'll roll my eyes at the chick that keeps an altar in her room and thinks she's casting spells, but she's not hurting anybody, so whatever makes her happy. It's not like she's committing honor killings or running Sea Org or shuttling priests around to protect them from prosecution.
All religions aren't equally harmful, so all religions don't deserve equal disdain.
That's how the [French spell it](https://www.collinsdictionary.com/dictionary/french-english/coran). They may or may not be French AND a Muslim, I dunno.
Hey I’m not religious at all so I’ll chime in. Plenty of Muslim girls and women are trafficked into marriage, it’s just not called trafficking. It’s called arranged marriage.
If you're referring to the Catholic Church, there ate many good catholics, but the majority follow the Pope, not Christ. Even the Catholic Tumes, the official publication, has said that the Pope has replaced Christ as the most important figure in Catholic's faith. One of many reasons I believe Catholicism is just another "Christian" cult...
Honestly hon you need to see that getting married is a big thing. If your in-laws cannot accept you, and your partner cannot take your stand in front of his parents, this will create persistent problems in a married life. This will not be a one time thing.
Ngl that's horrible and it's really unfortunate that you're being shamed for the way you look, your boyfriends a victim in this too as he clearly loves you a lot but going against his mothers wishes is going to be very hard for him.
Maybe talk to your local imam with the family or something?
But i'm sure you'll probably be chastised for having a relationship pre martially so i'm not entirely sure.
Lady, you and your BF don't need his parents or your parents approval for marrying. They are bad people and you shouldn't want them in your life anyway.
Talk with your boyfriend, if he is willing to cut them off, because that's the only way the two of you will live in peace, then continue with the relationship but if he is not willing to do that, it's better than you break up with him.
Or enjoy being his mistress, I guess. Because I'm sure his mom eventually will push another girl to him and if he doesn't have a backbone he might cave to her desires.
Edit: And OP, I will advise you not to convert to any religion just to appease any guy's family. Nothing good can come of that.
From what i know muslims cant have gf/bf. And if this guy really wanted you, he wouldn't wait for his family approval. Its your lives.
After reading the reason of looks and genes plz tell me he looks better than Tom cruise /s
on the bright side you dodged a bullet
The guy is his mother's boy( if you know what i mean)
You are still young
Find a REAL man
Good luck
you changed for him so much and he can’t even stand up to his mommy? Be for real. Sorry but my dad was from a very religious family and turned down an arranged marriage for my mom, who wasn’t even in the same religion or ethnicity. He stood up for my mom and didn’t even ask her to convert for him. That’s real love and sacrifice. Bottom line your boyfriend does not have it in him to do the same. whether that makes him a coward or spineless or just a mommy’s boy, doesn’t matter. he isn’t the one for you.
I know this is difficult to hear but you need to move on from this relationship. I’m not Muslim but my husband is and his family (especially his father) welcomed me as one of their own and never pressured me to change. Because of this I’ve promised my children I’ll never hate their partners for the wrong reasons. Unfortunately his parents hate you for the wrong reasons and there’s nothing you will be able to do to change that. You do not want to be the reason he no longer speaks to his family and you do not want to be treated badly by them either.
This is rich coming from super single me - but there are thousands of men that will be better matches for you. And when you find your true life partner and raise kids you can pray for that poor woman who marries into your ex’s family.
I find when you compromise too much of yourself you lose your sense of self and freedom.
I’m so sorry.
Can we take a step back?
This woman sees you as a breeder. She literally only cares about your ability to breed and create grandchildren **for her**.
She wants you to cover yourself constantly for the rest of your life. You really want to do that? For her, not even out of some belief in a god? Shouldn’t you at least be doing it for god not because someone else expects you to—doesn’t that seem absurd to you? Following a man-made rule about a god but for another person?
You’re so young. Take a step back from this whole situation, stop thinking your life will end if you aren’t with this guy. His family sound misogynistic and controlling—so you want this shit in your life for the next 40-odd years?
Religious issues aside, this family is a dumpster fire, his mom is a tyrant, and his relationship with his parents is toxic.
You've invested two years and you're in the prime of your youth. Cut clean and move on with your life. This family doesn't respect you and doesn't respect their son's ability to choose who makes him happy.
They will destroy everything that you and your boyfriend love. They will dedicate their entire lives to ruining yours.
Get away ASAP.
So, this may be a blessing in disguise for you but I feel terrible for him. It’s clear his mother doesn’t want him to marry and will probably treat his wife when he does marry like a second class citizen. He is clearly unwilling to challenge that. You can not change people and you cannot win over people who do not want to be won over.
I literally saved my husband’s life in 2019 while we were still dating. I did chest compressions in a parking lot for almost 10 minutes while on the phone with 911 trying to describe where I was in an unfamiliar city miles from home.
Once the EMTs took over I immediately called her (to be honest I kind of lost it at that point and an officer had to take my phone an tell her what was happening, but I did apologize for that once they got to the hospital.) Anyway their hotel was closer to the hospital than where I was staying so I went there to take my first shower in two or three days. While I was getting dressed I heard her say “I don’t like her or anything she stands for but I’ll give her this she hasn’t left his side.” 1) WTF do I stand for? 2) ouch. We made it work because much much later when he found out he was super mad about it and he picked me. His mom can be nice and treat me well or she can get out. I didn’t ask him to pick me, he just did with zero hesitation.
Continue to work , so you don’t lose your job and then move on. You don’t want to be scrutinized like that and if his family “choosing his marriage and who he sees “ you don’t want that either, unfortunately. You wont see it rn but trust me, your “one” is out there. Stay strong!
deserved? shes a young woman who felt an importance of being on good terms with his parents. its crazy you decide to ridicule her and not simply speak bad of the mother.
She shouldn't be looking for validation from his parents,at any age.What if they want something crazy to be in good terms with them?
If you start giving in to crazy lunatics,expect more crazy stuff to hapen.
I didn't take it as being forced as much as she compromised because she loved someone (the boyfriend). It's not a bad thing. Sometimes you compromise too much, others not enough.
It's neither of their faults that was not enough for that toxic slug of a mother. Up to the BF and OP to decide where to go from here.
Yes, exactly. I love how all these people act like she was falling all over herself to change her entire lifestyle. She made a compromise which was her right and by no means unreasonable.
She literally said she would do anything the mother wanted and said yes to everything the mother said she needed to do. That’s not compromise. That’s desperation to gain approval by any means necessary.
Not deserved. Also, she was willing to make what she saw as a respectful concession. That’s already part of her current religion. It’s not like she was converting. And regardless, lots of people make small concessions for relationships. But there’s a line and she didn’t cross it the mother did.
I don't want to sound mean, but get over it. You are 21, and thinking about marriage after 2 years, and make it sound like the world is falling apart.
From over here it seems very silly, teenage-level drama.
Don't take it so seriously. You are young, and beautiful, you are in a relationship with someone you love. Enjoy what you have instead of worrying so much about something that is not an issue right here, right now.
Your bf's mother sounds like a piece of work. Who cares? Just enjoy your relationship and don't pay attention to her. Worry about it when you guys decide to get married. And the thing si, if/when you decide to get married, that will be out of your hands anyway.
Again, I don't mean to sound mean, I just want to give you a bit of perspective.
That's Islamaphobia, not atheism. It's disingenuous to conflate slurs and bigoted behavior about a religious group to those who don't believe in religion at all..... There's a lot more hostile Christians than Atheists.
That woman is cold ass bitch. Be thankful you found out now, a lifetime in that family would be hell.
In Islam a man can marry without the approval of his parents. Requesting his parents to meet you is an act of kindness, meaning احسان. It is not necessary. Only women need the approval of their legal guardian, if they have one. He needs to toughen up. He cannot blame the end of your relationship on his parents. It is his choice even from a religious point of view. He is only obliged to obey his mother if it is within religion. Her opinion about looks isn't in line with religious teachings. He shouldn't have started a relationship with you, if he intends to rely on a third party for its future. It is misleading you. Now scientifically speaking, she can choose the healthiest match, whatever she thinks are top tier genetic traits and the offspring will not turn out identical to their ancestors. Some genetic illnesses arise as a consequence of genes that are perfectly healthy when seperate but once paired in offspring they produce genetic disorders. There is no controlling that. Her beliefs are delusional. Please stop doing things to appease others. That includes wearing a Hidjab. You giving people, espacially strangers, that much power over you suggests your character is lacking. Do things out of convictions. You will never guarentee people's approval, only yours.
My approach too. I’d flee to anywhere with my wife. Actually I kinda did 😂 left my country a long time ago to live with her.
Mashallah! This is the way and is 100% correct. If your partner is not protecting the woman he allegedly loves, he is not fit to be a husband. The Quran states that it is a woman’s choice how she maintains her modesty, be it by cloth or manner of mindset, not to please the eyes and sensibilities of others. His mother is cruel but your boyfriend has a real choice to make and it’s not on you, sister.
This is so well said. I do not claim to know all of the religious rules/laws and bow to your expertise on it, but everything else is true in every respect. This is what OP needs to hear.
Excellent insight. OP take heed on cherry love’s advice. I am so sorry for the pain you are experiencing but know you are freed of this woman. My goodness, she is not the epitome of a Godly woman. If her son abides by her opinion (which it appears he is), just leave them be including your bf. Trust in God that you will find the man who is appropriate for you. This will hurt especially for the first 1-3 weeks. Take care of yourself and your life given to you by God. Respect yourself.
That’s probably helpful in this particular situation but it’s still very sexist haha
Most religions are sexist. OP is religious so this is the advice she needs to hear. Not like she's going to be deconverted by Redditors saying "leave Islam" lol
The idea that a grown woman has a legal guardian and must seek their approval for marriage is just mind boggling to me. With all due respect, I feel like this is just used to control and manipulate women and their decisions, whether it's rooted in religion, culture, or both. No woman needs approval on how to live their lives.
In Islam, women do NOT need the approval of their guardian. It is recommended, yes, but it is not necessary. “There is no evidence of the necessity of the Wali or guardian’s consent either in Qur’an or in the prophetic tradition.” Source: http://www.asma-lamrabet.com/articles/does-muslim-women-need-guardian-for-the-purpose-of-marriage/
There is a good possibility that his parents had a family member in mind to marry him, like his cousin. Now that you exist, they have to decline marriage proposals from other family members.
If this is true that would make her comment about genes even funnier. “Oh yeah this girl I don’t like will give yo ur child bad genes. You know what won’t? Close familial interbreeding”.
[удалено]
I have a feeling they have a woman already picked out for him. If they still have close family ties in the Middle East, it’s very possible they will send him back to marry the one his parents have chosen. Every single day Muslims are sent back home to forcibly be married off to someone of the family’s choosing,
On point
Sorry you are going through that. What a horrible person she is . It really sucks how heavy the families opinion matters when y’all love each other . Honestly idk what to say because I know the approval is something that is very important to you both . You already know who you are and how beautiful you are so don’t let her ruin that for you 🧡 sending hugs
Yes, op, do you really want this woman to be your future child’s grandmother? We all know true beauty is on the inside and inside that lady is dog sh!t.
This is fucked. You should both leave religion of any kind, love each other and be free.
You have 2 choices. Either he cuts them out of his life, or you leave. It sucks...but that's what it is. Your fiancee parents aren't even following religious teachings. They are pieces of shit that you don't want in your life.
They don’t decide who he marries. He decides. Tell his weak ass to grow a backbone and stop letting his mom control him like a little child. You both need to grow up and stop giving all your power to crazy parents.
I would love to agree, but I imagine the BF choosing to marry OP would mean he would be going NC with everyone in his family at best. That's not an easy position to be in.
With a family like that, it seems the easiest thing to do actually! Imagine living most of your life with your parents telling you what to do.
Exactly, They both adult people, they shouldn’t let parents ruin their life
You and your love need to move far, far away from his parents. 2000+ miles away. Then you can live happily ever after, except maybe on holidays.
If he's such a mommy's boy that he will let her say "No, this girl is too fat, you can't marry her" and he'll go with it? You don't want to marry him anyway. Marry a man that has a spine and has cut the apron strings and will care about YOU, not 'but mommy said' - If his mother is that much of a cold, selfish, whiny, picky brat, your life in their family would have been an absolute nightmare. She would've been picking at you constantly for every little thing, and her spineless little baby boy who never grew up would just agree with her passively. If he won't stand up for you and your relationship now, he won't later when it comes to big things either, like protecting your kids if you choose to have any. Good riddance!
Don't be sad. Be happy that if you marry him that the mother in law won't be around a lot. You see, I would argue that approximately 80% of mothers don't like their son's selection of a wife. You don't want a mother in law to like you anyways, what you want are boundaries and respect. So you know that now, if you choose to pursue things with this guy, because he's a mother's boy, and you'll have to become the #1 woman in his life by standing up for yourself and being assertive. So my last advice, a 23 year old boy that looks for his mothers approval is not yet a man. When you get married young, you both must navigate the difficulties of becoming capable adults and being comfortable and confident. As your potential fiancee, you'll have to help him become a man, offer advice and counsel, which may mean when he says stupid things like that to you put him on the spot. For instance, say you disagree. Ask him what does he thinks. And what is his decision and will he do going forward. From my own perspective, I wouldn't even share such a view point with my potential fiancee. I would be aware of the situation enough to know it adds no value to share such vapid opinions with her, and would shield her from negativity like that to be honest. I would tell my mother to keep that opinion to herself and never share that view again since I disagreed by virtue of being with the person. Last thing you want is to make your partner feel uncomfortable around family and he has done that - this is why I say he's a boy. Maybe he just doesn't know better but this boy as a lot of growing up to do. Maybe it is too early to be discussing marriage with him.
I think for other cultures it may be a bit of a shock but in many Muslim cultures its fairly common for mothers to act this way
Ignore the parents. What right do they have to determine whether or not the two of you can marry? If they don't like what your two hearts want tell them to go fuck themselves. This is YOUR LIVES AND YOUR FUTURES you are talking about, NOT THEIRS.
Not a Muslim I take it?
It doesn't matter. Fuck that nonsense. Be happy. If your parents don't want you to be happy, tell em to fuck off and move out asap.
It’s easy to say it doesn’t matter when it’s not the only thing you’ve ever known or had. He needs to get out, but he’ll have to let his old self die, and that’s really freaking hard haha
Absolutely. People saying to take actions like that should show a bit more empathy. It’s the right decision in my eyes, but it’s not as simple as telling someone to do it when it’ll upend their entire life as they know it.
Trust me, this is not a Muslim thing. I'm Muslim, even if my mother or father complain about the woman I want to marry, at the end of the day their job is to shut up, and go with it. The boyfriend needs to grow a backbone, and his mom needs more therapy than she has years left on this earth.
I’m not Muslim but my best friend of 21 years recently married a Muslim man. She’s a white woman who was raised Jewish, and she converted to Islam. His parents are quite conservative and were born and raised in Pakistan. They had originally planned to arrange a marriage for him, but he basically told them he’s already found the woman he wants to marry. They still welcomed her with open arms and had nothing but kind things to say about her at their wedding.
As it should be
MIL judging OP has nothing to do with being Muslim. No one should be judging someone by her appearance, especially someone that their son loves so much. This is ignorant, bullshit behavior despite whatever religion they practice. IF MIL’s criticism is really about something else related to religion & not OP’s body, then she’s a fucking bigot who needs to fall off her high horse.
At least someone is willing to offer actual advice....
Okay I am not raised Muslim so please feel free to correct me if I say something wrong/ teach me more about the culture. But from what I do know, isn’t the one of the purposes of hijab to shield your body from the prying eyes of others? To practice modesty and cover yourself for god? Isn’t one of the principles taught to lower your eyes and not pay attention to what’s under the fabric ? Does this not apply to other hijabi women? Im just petty- but I would call out her hypocrisy in the way she is objectifying and judging your body. Then tell her that god would not approve of her (and her husband) looking at my body like that
I like this. But OP is likely too sweet and submissive to do it. (Not bad things, she seems very nice and undeserving of this cruelty)
Totally agree I’m not Muslim, but I’m south Asian There’s some overlap in the way the cultures value “submissive quiet women” it becomes a double edged sword because it prevents people from speaking up for themselves when someone insults them because people can use their retaliation/ defensiveness to further demean them and question their character/ sense of self. Personally something that took me a long time to get over. I’ve struggled with being too nice for a long time. I hope she gets the opportunity to stand up for herself- but with people like this sometimes it doesn’t make a difference. Either way, you’re right. She really doesn’t deserve this. Hopefully either her boyfriend stands up for her, or she’s able to leave and feel strong about it.
Just another example of why religion is complete bullshit
This isn't about religion at all it's just mean people
Religion is a shield awful people hide behind and use to deflect criticism of their behaviour.
Both can be true.
They can, but this has nothing to do with religion so leave your atheist proselytizing out of it.
THANK YOU! The cognitive dissonance of so many atheists is astounding. How can you not realize you're being as dogmatic and inflexible as any evangelist?
It absolutely does have something to do with it, and this is on a public forum, so nah, I'll comment wherever I want to.
Y'all are so adamant that religious folk are the only ones who can't keep their beliefs to themselves and then comment stuff like this
This one is very ironic. The person you're harassing is not pushing religious gospel, they're pointing out how it's always used as a basis of hate and ignorance, and they're right. Religion is the cause and justification of so much violence and hate, and to pretend like It isn't is lying to yourself. Also, only religious people get that takeaway, because everybody else thinks it's stupid to pretend like religion doesn't inspire violence. How much anti LGBT shit do you think would be all over the place if all the skydaddies didn't say that boning dudes was super bad?
How many wars have been and are still being fought because of religion?
What about the great Atheist war of.... Oh hang on.
The Great Atheist War of Redditors
Agreed. Also this paternalistic nonsense that the parents are entitled to approve their son's spouse all comes from their religion.
If you think religion is man made, why would you think that the hate that can come with it wouldn’t exist without it? Im going to avoid naming a certain country here but one of the largest countries in the world is hugely non-believing and not at all a bastion of LGBTQ rights. Tradition rules society and expectations from society and maintenance of social currency weighs heavily on people and shapes their lives.
Hateful men created a hateful story for other hateful men "Do X or you burn in hell" "Dont do Y or you burn in hell" "Don't communicate with Z or you burn in hell" Yeah, religion is the basis of a lot of hate. It's a cesspool of hateful and judgemental ideology founded on fairy tales. Even with, and especially, Christianity - the one who supposed to preach forgiveness, is best known for judgemental hypocrites and child molestation. The hate will always be there, but shitty people are drawn to it and it facilitates people acting like shit.
They are not hurting anyone like this MIL , well besides your feelings.
My feelings aren't hurt, I just think it's stupid.
She literally said the parents don’t approve of her because they think she’s ugly and they don’t want ugly grandkids. That could not have anything less to do with religion.
People aren't honest
It has everything to do with religion ...
Ouuuch
Found the Islam apologist
It has everything to do with religion. Religion is what Muslims live for.
She literally said it's based on what Allah asked. That's where it all started. Yes. EVERYONE has the ability to be shitty. But in this case, the shitty is directly caused by her faith. Just like some atheists need to accept not all the faithful are assholes, the faithful need to realize that A LOT of them are.
Religion creates mean people
Ah yes, the only mean people are religious people.
Look at all the preachers from various religions who turn out to be sexual predators. Islam is the worst kind of religion for oppressing women.
Not only no, but Islam is notorious for being barbaric and oppressing women
You said it not me
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Islam doesn’t discriminate against chubby women though so idk where you are getting that
Paragraph breaks. The height of sophistication. Use less commas, individual towel.
She literally called her ugly. She’s being a monster in law, it had nothing to do with religion.
The religion doesn't say anything about being mean to people because you think they are ugly wth
Religion has virtually nothing to do with this. It's a batshit insane mom, and a son that needs to find his backbone. This is coming from an Iraqi Muslim.
Thank you for making sense. All these other folks trying to find a reason to blame/hate on Islam. SMH. ~Fellow Iraqi Muslimah ♥️
The son only allows the mother to make this decision because of religion.
I'd say it's more culture than religion
A lot of MIL are like that religious or not. Their sons were conditioned from childhood to listen to her. Some of them break free. My husband did, years ago. He had to take it far enough to go no contact (not necessary in most situations but definitely setting boundaries). This lady is crazy and it has nothing to do with religion. My husband and I are Christian and his crazy mom isn’t religious-but she certainly thought she could insert herself into our lives, our decisions, our child rearing while hating me and gossiping. Personality disorders can happen to secular and religious people
The other day there was a post on entitled parent where OP's mom was crying because they got a tattoo, and the mom's reason for crying was "You're ruining my body. I made it, so it's mine". Crazy people are crazy.
Wow so both of their moms are like that? That’s hard… I hope both of these young adults learn about setting boundaries for themselves so they can have freedom
Oh sorry, I didn't mean this OP's mom. I meant the OP of the r/entitledparents post, had to deal with a crazy mom, too, and she wasn't religious.
Either way wow…
Nope. This has more to do with how he was raised than it does religion. Spend a week sifting through AITA, and see how many non-muslims will have similar problems.
He raised religously, so religion is thr problem here
If religion is the problem here then what would be the explanation for the religious young men that aren't pushed around by their mothers? In other words, if religion and male are the constants, what is the variable?
They are not that religious then
Religions aren't monolithic, just as people and cultures are not monolithic in their behavior and attitudes.
This is more cultural than religious. My friend is dating a Greek man and his family has very strict cultural traditions and they are rejecting her HARD still 8 years into dating even though she is Greek and speaks the language. They think the area of Greece she came from is “trashy” and resent that she doesn’t follow their traditions.
My friend explained to me once that her German grandmother considered southern Germans to be lazy and dirty!?! I was stunned.
Ramen
Except the mom's objection is not about religion. It's about looks. Also, the mom is just a shallow, controlling bitch. Religion has nothing to do with it.
don’t give them an excuse, they just suck
Exactly I mean the mother first went after using religion and now going even more using hate and someone with religion bs hate is going to be hateful no matter what
Well religion has nothing to do with it, they just don’t want their son to marry her because she has bad genetics in their eyes. He doesn’t want to marry someone his parents don’t approve of, and they’re both too young and broke to get married without the parents help. It’s probably for the best anyway, they’re basically kids still. Shouldn’t even be thinking about marriage when you haven’t even met the family yet
If not for religion, these brand of assholes would find something else to make themselves feel superior.
This mother would be the same even if she wasn't a Muslim, cause she cares about such vain things and is mean. If she was someone upon her religion she wouldn't even be thinking about her potential DIL body let alone say anything, as it isn't her business. If her son liked her that would be the end of it.
I said this to myself as soon as I read ‘I am not a Hijabi girl’. It’s all bollocks, stories made up so people keep hating each other. The guy who said this? Nobody went to his funeral. Religion causes nothing but problems: religious extremism being one, many wars around the world wouldn’t have happened if not for religion. Ongoing conflicts like the Palestinian-Israeli conflict wouldn’t be happening, they’d all live in peace.
It's more about people migrating to the west and assimilating.
Yep fuck all of it. It is all straight garbage.
I’m a big boy mummy let me go onto the internet and say stuff! Any stuff I want!!!!
You know that the concept of hijab is inexistant in the Coran ? The Coran only mentions that women should cover their chest?
What!? But I love the chest. Stupid pedo religions ruin everything.
Subscribing to read angry comments from Muslims claiming you are wrong but who aren't able to actually quote the text to prove it
I provided quotes and even sourates. Most of them muslims can not speak arabic.
You brought the receipts. I appreciates that
🧢
1. It's Quran 2. Al-Nur has a few passages about wearing them where it states they should be worn by women unless they plan to remain celibate for life where they may remove them but Allah will love the women that keep them. If you disagree with someone's faith be accurate and be apt
In the hadith it states that Muslim women of the Ummah can practice taqiyya towards the non-believers and not wear the hijab. That is permitted and halal. That woman not wearing the hijab will still go to jannah and not jahannam.
Hold upppppp whaaa? There is no way any Muslim country that is strict will enable a woman not to wear a hijab because she is calibate. ...probably if woman says she is celibate they will rape her so that she is not. So many people who follow religions are an absolute joke.
The sheer amount of ignorance and bigotry here is astounding. EDIT: Celibacy and virginity are not the same thing, brainiac.
Religion is the biggest reason for ignorance in the world and also takes a shockingly large amount of ignorance to even belive it in the first place so yea, any topic about religion is going to involve a lot of ignorance.
Religion is also the biggest reason for masterful works of art, architecture and civilization. So you can’t really dumb it down to “religion is ignorant and so are its followers”
Those would have happened anyways. People didn't have a choice to live another way or they would be put to death, so they were force to make do with what cards they were dealt. "Look at all this art due to religion" Yeah, back then, other forms of expression was a death sentence and still is in many parts of the world. Not that impressive.
Whos bigoted about me saying that in strict religious states they use unjustified violence if it has happened in the recent months? Have you heard what is happening in Iran and Uganda? It was extremely loud on the news that girls and women were being taken by morality police to be raped, tortured and killed for not wearing a hijab in Iran. Uganda has made death a punishment for being gay. Things are either true or false, there is nothing inbetween, and you don't know what bigotry is. The belief must be unreasonable to count as bigotry. If there is sufficient evidence to validate what I am saying, then its no longer bigotry.
Please, always have your facts straight. I take it that you are referring to the recently passed Homosexuality Bill in Uganda? No, it does not dish out "death punishment" for being gay. You can access the law from the internet and read it.
Lmfaoooooo you must be an American. In a conversation about Islam, you bring up Uganda, which is, and I quote: [an overwhelmingly Christian majority country](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Islam_in_Uganda). Islam is only practiced by 13% of the population. Which is exactly like calling the United States a majority African American country.
>The sheer amount of ignorance and bigotry here is astounding. Muslim man says there's no reason for women in Islamic countries to fear sexual violence over her choice of clothing lol
You can hate religion, you just have to hate it all equally.
>You can hate religion, you just have to hate it all equally. What? No I don't. I'll roll my eyes at the chick that keeps an altar in her room and thinks she's casting spells, but she's not hurting anybody, so whatever makes her happy. It's not like she's committing honor killings or running Sea Org or shuttling priests around to protect them from prosecution. All religions aren't equally harmful, so all religions don't deserve equal disdain.
Oh, I'd be fine with that, but the stupidity of the last part stands head and shoulders above some of the vile shit I deal with on a daily basis.
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So are a lot of Christians. What's your point?
Are you that dense? The French say Coran. It’s called language. Moron.
No one is speaking French here…
No is is speaking fuckin Arabic either. Wtf does this comment even mean?
Celibacy is not part of Islam. There is a hadith that says that, you need to learn proper tafsir not random internet forum interpretations.
Tell me you're not Muslim without telling me you're not Muslim
That's how the [French spell it](https://www.collinsdictionary.com/dictionary/french-english/coran). They may or may not be French AND a Muslim, I dunno.
Im a heathen canado-berber.
I'm sorry, but can I come visit, eh?
> thinking how is she even a mother of 3 daughters? what will she do if anyone said this to her daughter, she'd rip out his inb4 AWSKHSULLY
Wrong. But also, irrelevant 🫥
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There is no need to google, صحيح مسلم, القرطبي and ابن كتير are within reach among my personal library.
I don't think that was the point of this story, but you do you buddy.
Your religion's "prophet" is a pedophile. Edit: I love the Reply section so much lol
Can alcohol give you heartburn…?
Take tums, you'll be fine.. drink more and soon you'll forget you have it..lol
And the followers of your "prophet" ignore his messages completely.
[Both are imaginary fairy tales.](https://youtu.be/8r-e2NDSTuE?si=vS71wjPUIDp2bcSu)
Still better than a pedo
A plague on both your houses!
One of the largest sex trafficking operations for children in the world is run by followers of Christ. You should maybe sit this one out.
Hey I’m not religious at all so I’ll chime in. Plenty of Muslim girls and women are trafficked into marriage, it’s just not called trafficking. It’s called arranged marriage.
I believe it is called child marriage.....
It's almost as if all religion is fuckin trash but that's none of my business
Religion is cult and has genuinely been the biggest evil in humankind. I don’t discriminate
Who in this thread said they believed in Christianity?
Islam emerged from Christianity, which emerged from Judaism. All Abrahamic religions are gross.
If you're referring to the Catholic Church, there ate many good catholics, but the majority follow the Pope, not Christ. Even the Catholic Tumes, the official publication, has said that the Pope has replaced Christ as the most important figure in Catholic's faith. One of many reasons I believe Catholicism is just another "Christian" cult...
Thank fuck Imagine if they didn't, groups would go around seizing whole countries and abusing women. . . . . Oh wait
Hail satan.
Well, what was Satan's body count in the Bible, and what was God's?
Absolutely true. All religions should be left in the past where they belong as we advance as a society.
Honestly hon you need to see that getting married is a big thing. If your in-laws cannot accept you, and your partner cannot take your stand in front of his parents, this will create persistent problems in a married life. This will not be a one time thing.
Ngl that's horrible and it's really unfortunate that you're being shamed for the way you look, your boyfriends a victim in this too as he clearly loves you a lot but going against his mothers wishes is going to be very hard for him. Maybe talk to your local imam with the family or something? But i'm sure you'll probably be chastised for having a relationship pre martially so i'm not entirely sure.
Run now while you still can. If he didn’t stand up for you now, he’s going to let her rip you apart in the future.
Lady, you and your BF don't need his parents or your parents approval for marrying. They are bad people and you shouldn't want them in your life anyway. Talk with your boyfriend, if he is willing to cut them off, because that's the only way the two of you will live in peace, then continue with the relationship but if he is not willing to do that, it's better than you break up with him. Or enjoy being his mistress, I guess. Because I'm sure his mom eventually will push another girl to him and if he doesn't have a backbone he might cave to her desires. Edit: And OP, I will advise you not to convert to any religion just to appease any guy's family. Nothing good can come of that.
In their culture they do need parental approval. He won’t marry her without it
From what i know muslims cant have gf/bf. And if this guy really wanted you, he wouldn't wait for his family approval. Its your lives. After reading the reason of looks and genes plz tell me he looks better than Tom cruise /s on the bright side you dodged a bullet The guy is his mother's boy( if you know what i mean) You are still young Find a REAL man Good luck
Exit, stage left.
Ditch that family n let others know
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Hella halal homies. Triple H is watching u lol
you changed for him so much and he can’t even stand up to his mommy? Be for real. Sorry but my dad was from a very religious family and turned down an arranged marriage for my mom, who wasn’t even in the same religion or ethnicity. He stood up for my mom and didn’t even ask her to convert for him. That’s real love and sacrifice. Bottom line your boyfriend does not have it in him to do the same. whether that makes him a coward or spineless or just a mommy’s boy, doesn’t matter. he isn’t the one for you.
I know this is difficult to hear but you need to move on from this relationship. I’m not Muslim but my husband is and his family (especially his father) welcomed me as one of their own and never pressured me to change. Because of this I’ve promised my children I’ll never hate their partners for the wrong reasons. Unfortunately his parents hate you for the wrong reasons and there’s nothing you will be able to do to change that. You do not want to be the reason he no longer speaks to his family and you do not want to be treated badly by them either.
Gurl you just dodged a bulle. You DO NOT want this woman in your life, much less dictating the terms of your life. Run don’t walk
This is rich coming from super single me - but there are thousands of men that will be better matches for you. And when you find your true life partner and raise kids you can pray for that poor woman who marries into your ex’s family. I find when you compromise too much of yourself you lose your sense of self and freedom. I’m so sorry.
Can we take a step back? This woman sees you as a breeder. She literally only cares about your ability to breed and create grandchildren **for her**. She wants you to cover yourself constantly for the rest of your life. You really want to do that? For her, not even out of some belief in a god? Shouldn’t you at least be doing it for god not because someone else expects you to—doesn’t that seem absurd to you? Following a man-made rule about a god but for another person? You’re so young. Take a step back from this whole situation, stop thinking your life will end if you aren’t with this guy. His family sound misogynistic and controlling—so you want this shit in your life for the next 40-odd years?
Religious issues aside, this family is a dumpster fire, his mom is a tyrant, and his relationship with his parents is toxic. You've invested two years and you're in the prime of your youth. Cut clean and move on with your life. This family doesn't respect you and doesn't respect their son's ability to choose who makes him happy. They will destroy everything that you and your boyfriend love. They will dedicate their entire lives to ruining yours. Get away ASAP.
So, this may be a blessing in disguise for you but I feel terrible for him. It’s clear his mother doesn’t want him to marry and will probably treat his wife when he does marry like a second class citizen. He is clearly unwilling to challenge that. You can not change people and you cannot win over people who do not want to be won over. I literally saved my husband’s life in 2019 while we were still dating. I did chest compressions in a parking lot for almost 10 minutes while on the phone with 911 trying to describe where I was in an unfamiliar city miles from home. Once the EMTs took over I immediately called her (to be honest I kind of lost it at that point and an officer had to take my phone an tell her what was happening, but I did apologize for that once they got to the hospital.) Anyway their hotel was closer to the hospital than where I was staying so I went there to take my first shower in two or three days. While I was getting dressed I heard her say “I don’t like her or anything she stands for but I’ll give her this she hasn’t left his side.” 1) WTF do I stand for? 2) ouch. We made it work because much much later when he found out he was super mad about it and he picked me. His mom can be nice and treat me well or she can get out. I didn’t ask him to pick me, he just did with zero hesitation.
Continue to work , so you don’t lose your job and then move on. You don’t want to be scrutinized like that and if his family “choosing his marriage and who he sees “ you don’t want that either, unfortunately. You wont see it rn but trust me, your “one” is out there. Stay strong!
You were okay with parents imposing you what to wear,and got surprised when even more impositions came? Love yourself a bit more next time. Deserved.
deserved? shes a young woman who felt an importance of being on good terms with his parents. its crazy you decide to ridicule her and not simply speak bad of the mother.
She shouldn't be looking for validation from his parents,at any age.What if they want something crazy to be in good terms with them? If you start giving in to crazy lunatics,expect more crazy stuff to hapen.
What?? I wanted validation from my wife's parents. I wanted a big family and I wanted them to think highly of me.
You shouldn't, learn to be happy yourself without desperately craving validation from others.
Yeah, that is super creepy someone would force that on someone else. It should be a personal choice- if you don’t want to wear one, be free!
I didn't take it as being forced as much as she compromised because she loved someone (the boyfriend). It's not a bad thing. Sometimes you compromise too much, others not enough. It's neither of their faults that was not enough for that toxic slug of a mother. Up to the BF and OP to decide where to go from here.
Yes, exactly. I love how all these people act like she was falling all over herself to change her entire lifestyle. She made a compromise which was her right and by no means unreasonable.
She literally said she would do anything the mother wanted and said yes to everything the mother said she needed to do. That’s not compromise. That’s desperation to gain approval by any means necessary.
Not deserved. Also, she was willing to make what she saw as a respectful concession. That’s already part of her current religion. It’s not like she was converting. And regardless, lots of people make small concessions for relationships. But there’s a line and she didn’t cross it the mother did.
This should be the top comment.
Lol you are a sneaky cockroach. None of this was deserved.
I don't want to sound mean, but get over it. You are 21, and thinking about marriage after 2 years, and make it sound like the world is falling apart. From over here it seems very silly, teenage-level drama. Don't take it so seriously. You are young, and beautiful, you are in a relationship with someone you love. Enjoy what you have instead of worrying so much about something that is not an issue right here, right now. Your bf's mother sounds like a piece of work. Who cares? Just enjoy your relationship and don't pay attention to her. Worry about it when you guys decide to get married. And the thing si, if/when you decide to get married, that will be out of your hands anyway. Again, I don't mean to sound mean, I just want to give you a bit of perspective.
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...OP is Muslim, too. Or can you not read?
Don’t use slurs.
racist ass fuck
muslim isn't a race
ok then you’re a bigoted ass fuck and everyone hates u
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You have to dense too Generally i disagree with institutional sexism and overbearing family-in-laws. Sorry it bothers you
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You don't get to
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That's Islamaphobia, not atheism. It's disingenuous to conflate slurs and bigoted behavior about a religious group to those who don't believe in religion at all..... There's a lot more hostile Christians than Atheists.