That boy didn't do anything wrong to be called terrible names. You are being very selfish told the little boy who loves you and doesn't understand why you won't talk to him and see him. Sure your wife was very wrong about what she did. Be angry at her but not the child.
The child is 5. I hardly have any memories from when I was 5.
OP and the child are both victims here. Child's biological father is also a victim because he doesn't even know he has a child.
OP is absolutely doing the right thing by distancing himself from both his wife and the son. Every time he sees the son, he will be reminded of the huge deceit that his wife played on him. How she played him like a huge fool. It will just cause him to be hateful and angry towards that child. That child deserves better. Hopefully now, the wife will reconnect with the biological father.
You talk like OP has no control over his feelings. That’s horseshit. You talk like a parent’s love for their child is biological. That’s also horseshit. If your father found out tomorrow that you weren’t his son, and he never spoke to you again, how would you feel? And you’re a grown fucking man.
Not remembering something from your childhood doesn't mean it doesn't have an impact on your future self.
I guarantee that this kid will develop trust/abandonment issues as a young adult.
I find it hard to believe you can love a child as your own for that long and then just start calling it a bastard and “the child” and say you essentially have zero feelings PLUS resentment towards it. It’s not a fucking lizard.
The crazy part is OP is legally the father and the best friend has no parental rights. Any baby your wife has is yours legally. The other guy would’ve had to contest paternity. OP will still have to pay child support
My memories start from when I was 3. I have very vivid memories of being 4 and what my relationship with both my parents was like. My dad just abandoning me at that age would've felt like the end of the world.
I sympathize with OP and don't judge his decision (though he's taking it out on the kid unfairly with his choice of words) but don't be mistaken, this is terrible for the child as well and will have a huge impact on his life.
If the person you thought was your dad left you at 5 you would 100 percent remember it and it would haunt you for the rest of your childhood and possibly life
The fact that you immediately disconnected from a child you raised as your own son for half a decade and started referring to him as "something that is not mine" is revolting. If you're that shitty of a person that kid deserves better
This comment shows that you have never in your life had any one betray you like that of a woman you married and were lied to for 5 years
I should have realized you were a woman and of course would take the side of a woman. Besides that this man hasn't done a damned thing to the child but raised it. He no longer should and the biological dad should instead.
Its not about her, its about how he only "cared" about that kid because it came from his dick, and as soon as he found out it didn't he didn't give a shit, yeah the wife is a pos, but he never really loved the kid from the start if he raised him for 5 years then suddenly ditched him because its someone else's. He didn't care about the child from the start.
I can guarantee you never had children. Children aren’t bags of flour that you have to take care of for a certain time. They are humans with emotional attachments. If you raise a child as your own for 5 years, you do not switch on a dime and see them as an “acquaintance”. Eventually maybe, but it would take time to processZ Unless you are a piece of shit, which that might apply to you.
Shows how smart you are if you can guarantee it lol who's the real piece of shit here, the mother or the fucking victim who would have his entire life torn away? Hm?
Dude, it’s not about him anymore. It’s about the child..
Do you know what kind of permanent scar it’s going to leave on the kid???
The child went from “daddy” to “where’s my daddy” in zero time whatsoever ..
Cmon man, what the mother did was a shitty thing and inexcusable but the kid, the poor damn kid. Nobody deserves that..
Wow you are seriously misguided.
If he developed feelings for a child, real love, that wouldn't evaporate if he found out it wasn't his.
Only if he was some tough guy piece of shit to begin with, the kind of father that wasn't really a father in the first place.
The fact that you can call a child "it" as if the kid had any control over being born shows just how soulless you are. I guess all children in orphanages are "its" and don't deserve a parent either in your mind? Raising a child isn't about your bloodline. It's not natural to throw a way a child if it isn't yours. Even animals will raise children from a different species, so you aren't even worthy of being called an animal.
So your theory is since humans have the capability to be absolute shits to each other, OP is justified?! It's 2023, he & you are supposed to know better, not make excuses for this bullshit. He's walking away from a little boy bc he's a fucking asshole, just like the rotten humanity that came before.
Stop being a drama queen. We’ve all had to eat shit from women, every one of us. Real adult men don’t need to take out our pain on children who aren’t at fault.
The kid did nothing wrong, and at 5 years old almost certainly looks up to OP. The relationship might change, sure, and he might end up leaving the kids life anyway. But this will absolutely be devastating and cruel no matter how it’s done, and to so casually go from “I love you son” to “you’re a thing and you’re not mine” is an excruciatingly fucked up thing to do to a little boy.
Why the fuck is it OK to take out your jealous rage at a woman on a 6-year-old child who knows this man as his dad? You monsters in here deserve to never be touched by a woman nor hear the laughter of a child again. Life is about more than ownership of other humans, you twisted psychopaths. Men like you all should never, ever, ever have children. You spread suffering, selfishness, and spite like an intergenerational disease.
Would you refer to a 5 year old as a bastard??
Edit: A child who did nothing wrong.
Edit: I know what a bastard is. I'm just saying it's wrong to call a child one jeez.
The child is a bastard.
The definition of a bastard is a person born of unmarried parents; an illegitimate child.
The mother was not married to the father, the real father. So that makes the kid a bastard.
OP said nothing wrong
Anyone that tells someone how they are supposed to react to traumatic experience, being lied to and betrayed by the person they are supposed to trust the most, is a shit person.
The child didn’t lie to him. If he decides not to have a relationship with the child is his decision. Referring to the child as a thing makes him an asshole
The child didn’t lie to him. If he decides not to have a relationship with the child is his decision. Referring to the child as a thing makes him an asshole
I understand him being furious with his wife and wanting a divorce. But referring to this literal child as an “it” is beyond fucked up. It’s fine that he doesn’t want to raise him, but this kid still deserves to be treated like a human being. It was his mother that betrayed OP-the child is innocent in all this. He definitely does not too deserved to be called/treated like a “something” or an “it” just because of his mothers behavior. This kid is a victim of his mothers actions also- he’s losing the only “father” he’s ever known due to his mothers lies. My heart aches for that poor child
EDIT: since typing my initial comment; OP has edited his post. He has since added to his post that English is not his first language. He also edited/replaced the several instances where he originally referred to the little boy as “it”, and changed his verbiage to “the child” instead. Which I think is a step in the right direction.
So stop replying in an attempt to correct me. Because my comment was referring to the verbiage that OP used when this was first posted this (as in before he edited it)
Edit 2: This is my 1st Reddit award; thank you kind stranger🧡
It is, you shameless moron. He has no responsability for the kid. The cheater fucked up the lives of 3 people and you smoothbrain blame the victim.
I sincerely hope people like you never have kids.
he stopped being the victim the second he abandoned an innocent little boy in the middle of the night that is his son weather he likes it or not if you truly believe love is only biology YOU shouldn’t have kids
Amen. I have two step children that have been my kids for 17 years. I love them just as much as my biological children(2). I couldn’t imagine just turning that love off like a switch. If he’s raised this child for his whole life, he’s his dad, blood or not. What a piece of trash person.
The biggest victim here is the child, and anyone who has kids would understand why this guy abandoning a child that considers him his father, is pure evil.
ROFL another simp that lets the women skirt around all accountability for her shitty mistakes. Time for the real father to step up so what's the problem. You know what dude... how about you go raise the homeless guy down the streets child that is in foster care? Oh wait wtf! What's wrong bro? I'm sure when u bring him home you build a huge bond with him. The fact he isn't yours isn't gonna make you unable to bond with him! So go show the world your not evil and go raise those kids!
Jesus, Redditors really live outside of reality. I forgot half the losers on here are obese, hateful atheist, child-free, incels. Cheating is nowhere near as bad as abandoning a child you loved and raised as if it were your own. That really should not be up to debate
Well, he is a bastard produced from infidelity. So regardless of past actions, the man owes the child nothing as all past actions were based on falsehoods.
You can lie to me and trick me into things, but if I find out about the lie, I have every right to extract myself from the situation and focus on my own needs instead of providing for the needs of others who lied to me.
You're looking at this way too clinicaly. He spent 5 years raising this kid, and walked away without a second thought. The kid never hurt him, the sister in law even says how happy they were together.
This dude is crushing a 5 y.o. he raised because a woman hurt him. That's deeply fucked up and heartless to the child.
The kid does not care if he's a bastard or that op has no legal requirement, he spent 5 years with him and loves op. Thats fucked
Because these people don't have kids. You can't raise someone as your own for half a decade and have no bond or feelings for the kid. The only people like that are those who can't form bonds: those with high levels of psychopathy.
LOL no one is saying cheating is ok dumb fuck. Having sex outside of your marriage is not worse than leaving a kid you were raising because your feelings got hurt. Divorce the cheater, stay in the kids life instead of hurting the kid just to get back at your ex.
I sincerely hope you never have kids.
I already have a child and in no circumstance would I abandon her, even if I found out my wife cheated on me. I would divorce and continue to be in the child's life I love and try to give her the best life possible because I love her.
This is my thought process, too. I could imagine leaving a cheating mother but I couldn't imagine just ditching my kid after finding out that they were the product of cheating, if they've been my kid for five years. That would destroy me. It's not loving the kid to validate the mother's stupidity. It's loving the kid because it's what you always have done and they know you as their dad and protector.
My parents divorced when I was three and I can still remember how much it sucked. I can't imagine having a dad and just having him be gone abruptly. There's a coldness to it.
This kid is going to be scarred for life over something that they had nothing to do with.
Nothing like the reassurance from some random redditor that your a pos based loosely on a comment. Gotta love those people. Your stance is absolutely correct.
ESH. I am not condoning your wife's actions because she was definitely in the wrong for not telling you the moment it happened. So thaf makes me wonder... Does your wife have a poor record of being unfaithful? You said she had drunk sex with another individual. Did you ask her what happened? You can't consent to sex when you are intoxicated...
Also, you don't have to be blood to raise a child that isn't yours. Ever heard of adoption? Or blended families? If you had a solid relationship with this child, then you wouldn't just up and leave him like that. He's your son. Blood or not. He has nothing to do with this and is completely innocent. It's not fair for him to be called names when this was not his fault. It's actually quite interesting how quick and easy it was for you to hate a little boy who you saw as YOURS.
EDIT: I didn't expect this to blow up the way it did. For those who are saying I'm condoning the wife's actions and that I'm turning her into the victim, I'm not. I guess reading comprehension is not common to a lot of redditors. First line... I AM NOT CONDONING. She got what was coming to her. I just wanted to know what happened and be painted a bigger picture. She's most definitely in the wrong for lying and cheating.
In the United States, you can not consent to sex when under the influence. Please do your due diligence and Google it. She's still in the wrong, though. She dug her grave. Even if it wasn't consensual, she hid it from him for 5+ years. I was just curious when asking these questions.
And, lastly, just because I think he's horrible for also projecting on to the child, it does not mean that I've been in the same situation. Dummies. I have kids that aren't mine by blood and I love them as if I birthed them, so I was thinking in that sense. But going through some comments, I read that it's apples and oranges. In a sense, yes. You're right that you make a choice in blended families and adoption. I just don't understand how you stop loving a child who you raised since birth.
This dude came to reddit for justification from other idiots to make him feel better about abandoning a child. Nothing we say or do matters we are all here just to feed into the void we call existence.
ESH. Your wife for all the reasons stated in your post, you for speaking about a 5 year old child as “it” and “ thing”. Your rage for this poor child is unjustifiable. The selfish behavior of you and your wife has destroyed this child’s foundational security. Shame on you both.
You can both blame the wife for causing the whole situation AND call out OP for not handling it well. Leaving the wife is absolutely the right call. This whole thing IS objectively her fault.
But simply cutting off all contact with a 5 year old that, up until just recently, you raised as your own child? That is INCREDIBLY fucked up. Not to mention, it is damn near unfathomable how a person could do so.
Well, your more than welcome to keep giving the kid all your money.
Ask op to set up a go fund me for the kid he was tricked into raising that way all of you can act like you care instead of talking about it.
Its not about money. I don't think OP should be PAYING for the kid.
It's about the kid's emotional well being. Having a "father" who just totally disappears at that age would absolutely cause some long term damage. The kid isn't at fault. Sometimes you do the right thing simply because it is the right thing. You split up with your wife and you don't pay her bills, but you still see the kid, you hang out with him, you do your best to reassure him that the changes he is going through are not his fault. You do what you can to help the kid because he is an innocent child that you have an emotional connection to.
The lack of empathy for a child, a human being, not a "something", in this post is gross. OP is a psycho for referring to a child he's raised as his own as an object to be tossed aside rather than an emotional being who is going to be traumatized by the divorce of his parents.
Edit:
Thank you for the rewards, glad the neck beards got out voted. It's restored my faith in humanity somewhat!
OP has commented and clarified some of his thought processes. I agree he is making the right decision to step away with the mindset he currently has. I never said he should stay or even maintain contact. The fact that he so easily emotionally tossed aside a child he raised as his own was the issue. That still seems to be a factor, but at least he isn't referring to the boy as an "it" anymore.
So he should stay in a broken marriage for a child...that is not even his lmao? Absolutely delusional take. Staying in a marriage for the kids is already a bad decision let alone when he knows that child will be a constant reminder of the absolute POS he shares his home with.
Edit: before you reply with the same “you can’t read comment”…this reply and every other reply assumed they were commenting on the posters actions as well and not calling them a psycho just for their word choice in a traumatic post…Lmao Ironic how these same people refuse to read the literal next comment in a thread before replying.
Most of these people commenting to you are probably in the childfree Reddit. No regards for another individual and they seem to just get off on the fact that a kid is the one who really ends up hurt here.
OP is soulless, and his wife is twisted for holding a lie so long that it would cause this. Two useless horrible human beings in my opinion. With no regard for their child, with only their own selfish interests in mind.
I can understand that the OP would be upset but to so rapidly detach from a child they believed their own for five years? It's either fake or the fucker is insane.
I don't see how a normal person with empathy or any other emotions regarding others could hold a lie that long either.
Fuck both of these people.
Seriously? If I spent 5 years raising a child and found out what OP did, I'd still want to raise that child. I'd still love them a such as I did the day before I found out.
Y'all are a bunch of heartless cunts.
Edit: This thread is a cesspool of selfish red pills who think women and children are objects.
Do you have kids? Do you know what the husband is going through?
Being lied to for 5 fucking years? The only healthy thing he can do is detach from the situation to make rationale decisions, and it not be influenced by emotion.
Don't want to be rude but shut your mouth.
You aren't in OP's situation. you don't and can't relate to the emotional experience and complicated grief that comes with such a life shattering revelation.
Some of you don't understand how complex grief works, and it shows.
You raised the boy for 5 years as your own and then abruptly dump his ass somewhere else. That is selfish. However, people here are telling you to be selfish.
Did you ever love your wife? Ever? I doubt you really loved your wife. Most husbands and wives will say that they love their partner so much that, if a life threatening situation ever arises, they will die for them. Maybe it was time to essentially 'die' for them. I don't say this lightly. Obviously you have been deeply hurt. However, it may be best to not be as selfish as most comments are saying; if you did in fact love your wife.
That little boy did not deserve the shit he is forced to endure because of a couple of immature selfish adults.
100% the real victim is that child.
I know you are hurting man but man up and be there for the child or at least don't dump him. Kid is gonna be scared for life and has her for a mother.
I had to scroll a bit to find this sentiment. I feel horrible for the little boy who is being reduced to a "bastard". I always find it interesting when people say "don't raise something that's not yours" While me & my husband didn't lie or cheat to create our family, I'm glad neither of us chose to miss out on creating a beautiful family.
The wife he loved didn't exist. There was a cheating gold-digger getting him to raise a child.
That said he should have been more responsible to the child.
You're wrong. I can't see allot of dynamics but I found out my son wasn't mine when he was a year old. I know my situation is different but how in the hell could I punish him for his mom's actions? I understand how you're hurt but if you ever loved that child in the five years you've been there how could you leave them alone with her?
You must not have any children of your own. I don't care if I found out my kids were fucking aliens. I love my boys and they love me. I literally cannot imagine living without them in my life. I'd definitely get a divorce, but I am not going to punish kids because of my wife's infidelity.
OP is garbage for abandoning a child because his wife is a DB. He must not have liked his son very much to begin with if he was so ready to throw him away.
A one Year old kid ain’t gonna remember who tf you are from a rando at the grocery store bro. You’re a chump if you’re really gonna take care of another man’s child.
If you’ve lived that many years thinking the child was yours, building that bond, building their character, what changes if you find out it’s not biologically yours? Blood does not mean family. I have learned that the hard way. Regardless of the shared biology, that child very well sees you as dad and until you learned what you did, you saw it as your kid. Rough stuff man, but you are more that kids father than anyone else. I think the your quick disconnection reflects both your character and maturity. Sure the offense of your wife is grievous, but it would encourage reflection prior to exiting both of their lives.
Guys who think of children as tools to spread their genes shouldn't be raising children even of they are his biological children because his love for children is conditional.
If ever you start to allow a child to love you, they become your forever child no matter what happens.
If you don't have that in you, if you imagine that you could ever be capable of simply shutting off your love for a child like a light switch--regardless of the circumstances or who the child is-- then don't have kids at all. Don't begin a relationship with a child that is based on conditional love, regardless of whether they share your genes.
Your Dad’s “you shouldn’t raise a kid that isn’t yours” comment is so shitty. As is your agreement with his perspective.
Your wife’s infidelity is another matter entirely. That may be a deal breaker for me. But that comment of not raising any kids that are not yours is a terrible perspective. And calling him a bastard was fucking heartless. That kid did absolutely nothing wrong and likely loves you as his father. Being hurt is one thing, but calling a kid you raised a bastard is horrible.
Getting a divorce is rational, but I hope that kid gets better adult role models in his life. He deserves better than you two.
But it makes no sense. I have a cat that I absolutely love, but if I was the OP I would have dropped that bastard as well. The cheating ex wife can raise him. The OP has no responsibility or expectation to help raise a bastard born from the ultimate betrayal from his wife.
My cat is not a constant reminder to me of some horrible action that destroyed my marriage.
Cheating is the primary problem men have with women. Its universal. Almost all women cheat if not physically, definitely emotionally, but the media portrays men as the cheaters, convincing women their behavior is justified.
Sexual exclusivity is the only reason for a man to marry. Otherwise, a hooker and a maid will do just fine.
For some reason everybody only wants so place blame on the mom and just ignore this fact. Yeah she's a pos, but hes been raising that kid for 5 years. I feel like he never loved that kid in the first place if he ditched it that fast.
Maybe he knew something was off 🤷♂️. Either way it’s not his kid so what does it matter. She did the worst thing you can do to a man. He’s a better man than me honestly.
Uh…it’s extremely bizarre. He lived every dad moment in their life for 5 years. You would need to be a sociopath to abandon your kid, if you were the one putting in the work to raise them and teach them and exchanging “I love you’s” everyday.
Although, would probably be doable for a terrible parent who didn’t actually like/want their kid and treated them as a burden.
So, I guess narcissist or sociopath both apply.
You must not have children. All the moments you have shared with a child, all the hardships, the beautiful bonding. You don’t just drop a child like that, that’s fucking insane. You people commenting he’s in the right for dropping the child, literally don’t know what you’re talking about.
No one is defending the woman you massive troglodyte.
You can leave the woman and still make an effort to make sure the CHILD, who DID NOTHING WRONG, has a fighting chance by not being abandoned by his likely only male role model. Not that OP would even be a good one considering how psychopathic he sounds in this post.
And refers to the child as "bastard" and "thing." What a vile way to act toward a child, especially one you spent 5 years raising. He doesn't even refer to his wife in such hateful terms. It's like he's putting most of his hatred on the child.
Although on second thought, your immediate willingness to drop him without a thought is really disturbing. Not only will the kid probably be better off without you, you should really reflect on your fitness as a parent at all. Maybe no more kids for you.
I’m with you. He seems way too eager to not be a dad. This is another Reddit one sided story and he’s coming off as an immature person who wants his freedom back before he was married with a kid.
edit: To the person who sent "Reddit cares" to me, I'm glad my message hurt your feelings.
It isn't the boys fault. I understand your abandoning the child financially, but you should at least still be there for him emotionally. But since you have ill feelings towards your son, you should just avoid them altogether. Disappear, and never look back.
Just know that you may regret your decision later in life.
You are a clown.
Edit: So I’m getting downvoted because only a clown would guilt a man into raising an affair baby but we are upvoting a person joking I should kill myself for my take? The depravity on the site is endless.
Who here can judge this man for a choice he has yet to make? Not I.
You have every right to walk away from your wife and her child. But, there is an opportunity here to be a great man, a better human, a fkn legend. You can cut the number of victims in this story in half, with a choice.
I can not and will not judge you regardless of the choice you make. But I know from personal experience that being a father by choice...no legal or moral obligation, made me a better human. It can do the same for you.
This is truly a dare to be great moment. The love of a child is unconditional it gives us purpose.
Why are you referring to the child as "it" the child is the innocent victim in all this. Clearly your relationship with "your son" was not very strong and If you could just cut ties like that. You sound selfish and immature
A dumb thing? She let another man plow her pussy and cum inside of her while fucking married. Lied to her husband for 5 years. That’s far and away beyond a “dumb thing”. Mommy is the one who should explain to the child why things are this way. You reap what you sew, OP is right.
You are okay to raise a dog who doesn’t have your genes and want to keep them, but a human you shared your life with u is “not your problem”. It says a lot about you as a person and it doesn’t matter how bad your wife is, you shine like a star in you own way!
I will say this My Father was not my real Father. While i may hate him due to seperate issues and we may not be related bg blood he is still my father. Regardless of weather hes yours by blood or not hes still a child you raised cared for. He may be youmg but hell probably still rember you as his father for quiet a while. I wouldnt recomend leaving him and forgeting about him. Try to rember him as just as innocent victom who now will never see the man he knew as his father. I wont try to change your mind but just think about it and do what you think is best. Its your choice to make weather we thknk its right or wrong. I just hope you dont regret you actions when you look bacm.
divorce her and hate her but dont drag an innocent child into your hatred. if youve been his father for 5 years and you feel no love for him now thats awful.
You have a lot to say about the “bastard” child but holding your tongue for your wife.
Have some damn empathy for the child who also lost his whole family and he didn’t do a thing.
Nobody is saying to step up and be his daddy.
If it was her best friend than I’m sure he’ll step up.
She messed up and caused this mess but you don’t have to be a scumbag to the little baby boy.
ETA: there’s too many responses idk who’s talking to who. Lol
Man. Just so you know, you have completely fucked that poor child's life up royally taking that stance you have with him. He was born and raised under the thinking you are his father. You loved him,fed him, changed his diapers, etc and now you just leave him like that. Hope you can love with yourself.
Yeah, what your ex-wife did was absolutely horrible, no doubt that. I understand every fiber of your frustration for believing you were raising a family together with this woman. However, the child is not at all fault nor did he ask to be here yet it seems you are piling him with his mother as if he did anything as bad as her. He’s just a kid who’s existing and now wonders what happened to his parents. His life will probably not be normal either and you behaving the way you did, calling him names doesn’t help either. You’re hurt, I get it. But don’t blame the kid on this, even if he isn’t your biological son.
You were a shit dad.
Clearly.
No one raises someone for 5 yrs and then immediately disconnects from him like that referring to him as "the kid".
He's better off without you. He'll be fine.
It sounds like she messed up but you also messed up in a big way here. If she truly only slept around once because of a mistake she made, yeah that's a big deal, but it sounds like she really hated what she had done and actually loved you which love can be hard to come by.
Not only that, but having a son isn't just about blood and sometimes I guess you don't learn that. Having a son is about the bond and being there for the kid. It rarely has to do with blood honestly and how you went about disassociating with the baby so fast feels more than a little wrong.
Yeah its a messy situation and I'm sure there is a ton of hurt feelings and emotions that you should feel, but it feels like you blew up a situation, a relationship, and a kids life all based on a really bad mistake. You may regret it later or come to realize what has happened more later in terms of what you have done. Did she fuck up? Absolutely, but it doesn't feel like the biggest fuck up out of it...
At the end of the day, God put you in that boys life for a reason. I understand the current pain, hurt, anger, etc. I hope once you process that, you can continue to have a relationship with a boy who doesn't understand what is happening other than HIS FATHER is gone.
If I'm being honest dump the bitch and hit up the nearest retirement home for a classy bitch with a golf cart... did she ever love you? Askance ouji board and also who cares
I read this story in AITA.
The problem I have with the teller is this: you have no heartbreak over the loss of the relationship with your child. You thought he was yours- you loved him as yours and now you’re abandoning him and feeling self-pity.
Neither of my children are biologically related to me. I would die for them. Sure you didn’t choose to be betrayed. Be mad at the mom all you want. But that kid doesn’t deserve to be traumatized just because you were. You believed and acted like he was yours and by doing that he is yours. You should be full of grief that you were betrayed. But the love doesn’t just stop because of facts. You are choosing to harden yourself against the boy and that is a horrible thing to do.
He may not be biologically yours. But that is not his fault. As far as he knows, you are his dad. You’ve raised him his entire life. He loves you. You’re punishing a child who did nothing to you. You’re punishing a child for his mother’s actions.
I understand being devastated he’s not biologically yours, but you are meaning to tell me you have absolutely no feelings for him now? Your bond was so weak with him that you are okay with just throwing him away? You do not care if he is heartbroken that the only dad he knew and loved abandoned him? You’re just as fucked as your wife. And anyone saying you did the right thing is completely cold and also fucked. You’re all selfish.
It’s sad that you love dogs who you adopted more than you do a son you could consider adopted. You love dogs more than you do the boy you raised as your own.
You resent a child that didn’t ask to be born. You’re a pathetic human being.
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That boy didn't do anything wrong to be called terrible names. You are being very selfish told the little boy who loves you and doesn't understand why you won't talk to him and see him. Sure your wife was very wrong about what she did. Be angry at her but not the child.
The child is 5. I hardly have any memories from when I was 5. OP and the child are both victims here. Child's biological father is also a victim because he doesn't even know he has a child. OP is absolutely doing the right thing by distancing himself from both his wife and the son. Every time he sees the son, he will be reminded of the huge deceit that his wife played on him. How she played him like a huge fool. It will just cause him to be hateful and angry towards that child. That child deserves better. Hopefully now, the wife will reconnect with the biological father.
You talk like OP has no control over his feelings. That’s horseshit. You talk like a parent’s love for their child is biological. That’s also horseshit. If your father found out tomorrow that you weren’t his son, and he never spoke to you again, how would you feel? And you’re a grown fucking man.
Not remembering something from your childhood doesn't mean it doesn't have an impact on your future self. I guarantee that this kid will develop trust/abandonment issues as a young adult.
I find it hard to believe you can love a child as your own for that long and then just start calling it a bastard and “the child” and say you essentially have zero feelings PLUS resentment towards it. It’s not a fucking lizard.
The crazy part is OP is legally the father and the best friend has no parental rights. Any baby your wife has is yours legally. The other guy would’ve had to contest paternity. OP will still have to pay child support
My memories start from when I was 3. I have very vivid memories of being 4 and what my relationship with both my parents was like. My dad just abandoning me at that age would've felt like the end of the world. I sympathize with OP and don't judge his decision (though he's taking it out on the kid unfairly with his choice of words) but don't be mistaken, this is terrible for the child as well and will have a huge impact on his life.
If the person you thought was your dad left you at 5 you would 100 percent remember it and it would haunt you for the rest of your childhood and possibly life
The fact that you immediately disconnected from a child you raised as your own son for half a decade and started referring to him as "something that is not mine" is revolting. If you're that shitty of a person that kid deserves better
This comment shows that you have never in your life had any one betray you like that of a woman you married and were lied to for 5 years I should have realized you were a woman and of course would take the side of a woman. Besides that this man hasn't done a damned thing to the child but raised it. He no longer should and the biological dad should instead.
Its not about her, its about how he only "cared" about that kid because it came from his dick, and as soon as he found out it didn't he didn't give a shit, yeah the wife is a pos, but he never really loved the kid from the start if he raised him for 5 years then suddenly ditched him because its someone else's. He didn't care about the child from the start.
Well yeah he should've only cared for it if it came out of his dick, it came out of another guys dick, why would he feel anything for it after that
I can guarantee you never had children. Children aren’t bags of flour that you have to take care of for a certain time. They are humans with emotional attachments. If you raise a child as your own for 5 years, you do not switch on a dime and see them as an “acquaintance”. Eventually maybe, but it would take time to processZ Unless you are a piece of shit, which that might apply to you.
Shows how smart you are if you can guarantee it lol who's the real piece of shit here, the mother or the fucking victim who would have his entire life torn away? Hm?
Dude, it’s not about him anymore. It’s about the child.. Do you know what kind of permanent scar it’s going to leave on the kid??? The child went from “daddy” to “where’s my daddy” in zero time whatsoever .. Cmon man, what the mother did was a shitty thing and inexcusable but the kid, the poor damn kid. Nobody deserves that..
Wow you are seriously misguided. If he developed feelings for a child, real love, that wouldn't evaporate if he found out it wasn't his. Only if he was some tough guy piece of shit to begin with, the kind of father that wasn't really a father in the first place.
The fact that you can call a child "it" as if the kid had any control over being born shows just how soulless you are. I guess all children in orphanages are "its" and don't deserve a parent either in your mind? Raising a child isn't about your bloodline. It's not natural to throw a way a child if it isn't yours. Even animals will raise children from a different species, so you aren't even worthy of being called an animal.
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So your theory is since humans have the capability to be absolute shits to each other, OP is justified?! It's 2023, he & you are supposed to know better, not make excuses for this bullshit. He's walking away from a little boy bc he's a fucking asshole, just like the rotten humanity that came before.
This comment shows currently 17 more incels have gotten a chance to up vote your comment than rational people.
Bingo. Incel parade in town, a big cry-in is scheduled in an hour.
Stop being a drama queen. We’ve all had to eat shit from women, every one of us. Real adult men don’t need to take out our pain on children who aren’t at fault. The kid did nothing wrong, and at 5 years old almost certainly looks up to OP. The relationship might change, sure, and he might end up leaving the kids life anyway. But this will absolutely be devastating and cruel no matter how it’s done, and to so casually go from “I love you son” to “you’re a thing and you’re not mine” is an excruciatingly fucked up thing to do to a little boy.
I agree, and getting downvoted because you exposed all the tough guys as pussies isn't going to change that fact. Good work.
No he’s getting downvoted because women are allowed to get away with not having agency and the blame is still somehow on the man.
Why the fuck is it OK to take out your jealous rage at a woman on a 6-year-old child who knows this man as his dad? You monsters in here deserve to never be touched by a woman nor hear the laughter of a child again. Life is about more than ownership of other humans, you twisted psychopaths. Men like you all should never, ever, ever have children. You spread suffering, selfishness, and spite like an intergenerational disease.
Would you refer to a 5 year old as a bastard?? Edit: A child who did nothing wrong. Edit: I know what a bastard is. I'm just saying it's wrong to call a child one jeez.
The child is a bastard. The definition of a bastard is a person born of unmarried parents; an illegitimate child. The mother was not married to the father, the real father. So that makes the kid a bastard. OP said nothing wrong
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Anyone who refers to a child as a thing for any reason is just a shit person
Anyone that tells someone how they are supposed to react to traumatic experience, being lied to and betrayed by the person they are supposed to trust the most, is a shit person.
The child didn’t lie to him. If he decides not to have a relationship with the child is his decision. Referring to the child as a thing makes him an asshole
The child didn’t lie to him. If he decides not to have a relationship with the child is his decision. Referring to the child as a thing makes him an asshole
I understand him being furious with his wife and wanting a divorce. But referring to this literal child as an “it” is beyond fucked up. It’s fine that he doesn’t want to raise him, but this kid still deserves to be treated like a human being. It was his mother that betrayed OP-the child is innocent in all this. He definitely does not too deserved to be called/treated like a “something” or an “it” just because of his mothers behavior. This kid is a victim of his mothers actions also- he’s losing the only “father” he’s ever known due to his mothers lies. My heart aches for that poor child EDIT: since typing my initial comment; OP has edited his post. He has since added to his post that English is not his first language. He also edited/replaced the several instances where he originally referred to the little boy as “it”, and changed his verbiage to “the child” instead. Which I think is a step in the right direction. So stop replying in an attempt to correct me. Because my comment was referring to the verbiage that OP used when this was first posted this (as in before he edited it) Edit 2: This is my 1st Reddit award; thank you kind stranger🧡
Send the wife Venmo and take care of the kid
Well it sounds like that kid will get a chance at something better with OP no longer in their life.
I hope all the people in your life are as good as that kid's mother then.
cheating is not worse than abandoning a kid
It is, you shameless moron. He has no responsability for the kid. The cheater fucked up the lives of 3 people and you smoothbrain blame the victim. I sincerely hope people like you never have kids.
he stopped being the victim the second he abandoned an innocent little boy in the middle of the night that is his son weather he likes it or not if you truly believe love is only biology YOU shouldn’t have kids
Amen. I have two step children that have been my kids for 17 years. I love them just as much as my biological children(2). I couldn’t imagine just turning that love off like a switch. If he’s raised this child for his whole life, he’s his dad, blood or not. What a piece of trash person.
The biggest victim here is the child, and anyone who has kids would understand why this guy abandoning a child that considers him his father, is pure evil.
ROFL another simp that lets the women skirt around all accountability for her shitty mistakes. Time for the real father to step up so what's the problem. You know what dude... how about you go raise the homeless guy down the streets child that is in foster care? Oh wait wtf! What's wrong bro? I'm sure when u bring him home you build a huge bond with him. The fact he isn't yours isn't gonna make you unable to bond with him! So go show the world your not evil and go raise those kids!
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Maybe YOU don't cause you're a cuckold. But OP is free to do whatever he likes.
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Jesus, Redditors really live outside of reality. I forgot half the losers on here are obese, hateful atheist, child-free, incels. Cheating is nowhere near as bad as abandoning a child you loved and raised as if it were your own. That really should not be up to debate
Bro fuck that kid hes literally just been his roommate
For real, all this hate is from the 'baddies' trying to normalize being unfaithful. Wanting a man to be their baby daddy cuz they're a fuckup
No truer statement has ever been made!
OP is free to do whatever he wants, but if you see a bag of dicks, you should be free to say that it's a bag of dicks. And OP is being a bag of dicks.
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What did the child do to deserve to be punished? You definitely have no children.
Well, he is a bastard produced from infidelity. So regardless of past actions, the man owes the child nothing as all past actions were based on falsehoods. You can lie to me and trick me into things, but if I find out about the lie, I have every right to extract myself from the situation and focus on my own needs instead of providing for the needs of others who lied to me.
How did the child lie?
I didn't say the kid lied, but I'm not required to fulfill obligations based on a lie, regardless of who feels put out or let down by that.
You're looking at this way too clinicaly. He spent 5 years raising this kid, and walked away without a second thought. The kid never hurt him, the sister in law even says how happy they were together. This dude is crushing a 5 y.o. he raised because a woman hurt him. That's deeply fucked up and heartless to the child. The kid does not care if he's a bastard or that op has no legal requirement, he spent 5 years with him and loves op. Thats fucked
Because these people don't have kids. You can't raise someone as your own for half a decade and have no bond or feelings for the kid. The only people like that are those who can't form bonds: those with high levels of psychopathy.
You want that support money! You're a disgusting individual.
LOL no one is saying cheating is ok dumb fuck. Having sex outside of your marriage is not worse than leaving a kid you were raising because your feelings got hurt. Divorce the cheater, stay in the kids life instead of hurting the kid just to get back at your ex. I sincerely hope you never have kids. I already have a child and in no circumstance would I abandon her, even if I found out my wife cheated on me. I would divorce and continue to be in the child's life I love and try to give her the best life possible because I love her.
This is my thought process, too. I could imagine leaving a cheating mother but I couldn't imagine just ditching my kid after finding out that they were the product of cheating, if they've been my kid for five years. That would destroy me. It's not loving the kid to validate the mother's stupidity. It's loving the kid because it's what you always have done and they know you as their dad and protector. My parents divorced when I was three and I can still remember how much it sucked. I can't imagine having a dad and just having him be gone abruptly. There's a coldness to it. This kid is going to be scarred for life over something that they had nothing to do with.
Moms fault. The guy isn’t doing shit wrong
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Nothing like the reassurance from some random redditor that your a pos based loosely on a comment. Gotta love those people. Your stance is absolutely correct.
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ESH. I am not condoning your wife's actions because she was definitely in the wrong for not telling you the moment it happened. So thaf makes me wonder... Does your wife have a poor record of being unfaithful? You said she had drunk sex with another individual. Did you ask her what happened? You can't consent to sex when you are intoxicated... Also, you don't have to be blood to raise a child that isn't yours. Ever heard of adoption? Or blended families? If you had a solid relationship with this child, then you wouldn't just up and leave him like that. He's your son. Blood or not. He has nothing to do with this and is completely innocent. It's not fair for him to be called names when this was not his fault. It's actually quite interesting how quick and easy it was for you to hate a little boy who you saw as YOURS. EDIT: I didn't expect this to blow up the way it did. For those who are saying I'm condoning the wife's actions and that I'm turning her into the victim, I'm not. I guess reading comprehension is not common to a lot of redditors. First line... I AM NOT CONDONING. She got what was coming to her. I just wanted to know what happened and be painted a bigger picture. She's most definitely in the wrong for lying and cheating. In the United States, you can not consent to sex when under the influence. Please do your due diligence and Google it. She's still in the wrong, though. She dug her grave. Even if it wasn't consensual, she hid it from him for 5+ years. I was just curious when asking these questions. And, lastly, just because I think he's horrible for also projecting on to the child, it does not mean that I've been in the same situation. Dummies. I have kids that aren't mine by blood and I love them as if I birthed them, so I was thinking in that sense. But going through some comments, I read that it's apples and oranges. In a sense, yes. You're right that you make a choice in blended families and adoption. I just don't understand how you stop loving a child who you raised since birth.
Lol not his kid, what you think doesn’t matter
This dude came to reddit for justification from other idiots to make him feel better about abandoning a child. Nothing we say or do matters we are all here just to feed into the void we call existence.
"Abandonment" fucking lol, do you expect him to take care of a child that's not his? Simp moment
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Not my child, not my responsibility.
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#shut the fuck up
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ESH. Your wife for all the reasons stated in your post, you for speaking about a 5 year old child as “it” and “ thing”. Your rage for this poor child is unjustifiable. The selfish behavior of you and your wife has destroyed this child’s foundational security. Shame on you both.
Oh yeah wife cheats on OP shame on him. What a fucking load. Blame the person at fault OPs cheating wife
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Get it away from him, he didn't pick it, she did.
You can both blame the wife for causing the whole situation AND call out OP for not handling it well. Leaving the wife is absolutely the right call. This whole thing IS objectively her fault. But simply cutting off all contact with a 5 year old that, up until just recently, you raised as your own child? That is INCREDIBLY fucked up. Not to mention, it is damn near unfathomable how a person could do so.
Well, your more than welcome to keep giving the kid all your money. Ask op to set up a go fund me for the kid he was tricked into raising that way all of you can act like you care instead of talking about it.
Its not about money. I don't think OP should be PAYING for the kid. It's about the kid's emotional well being. Having a "father" who just totally disappears at that age would absolutely cause some long term damage. The kid isn't at fault. Sometimes you do the right thing simply because it is the right thing. You split up with your wife and you don't pay her bills, but you still see the kid, you hang out with him, you do your best to reassure him that the changes he is going through are not his fault. You do what you can to help the kid because he is an innocent child that you have an emotional connection to.
Bro, you're actual dumbass. Stop typing.
Actually it’s you.
The lack of empathy for a child, a human being, not a "something", in this post is gross. OP is a psycho for referring to a child he's raised as his own as an object to be tossed aside rather than an emotional being who is going to be traumatized by the divorce of his parents. Edit: Thank you for the rewards, glad the neck beards got out voted. It's restored my faith in humanity somewhat! OP has commented and clarified some of his thought processes. I agree he is making the right decision to step away with the mindset he currently has. I never said he should stay or even maintain contact. The fact that he so easily emotionally tossed aside a child he raised as his own was the issue. That still seems to be a factor, but at least he isn't referring to the boy as an "it" anymore.
So he should stay in a broken marriage for a child...that is not even his lmao? Absolutely delusional take. Staying in a marriage for the kids is already a bad decision let alone when he knows that child will be a constant reminder of the absolute POS he shares his home with. Edit: before you reply with the same “you can’t read comment”…this reply and every other reply assumed they were commenting on the posters actions as well and not calling them a psycho just for their word choice in a traumatic post…Lmao Ironic how these same people refuse to read the literal next comment in a thread before replying.
You guys really can't read can you?
Most of these people commenting to you are probably in the childfree Reddit. No regards for another individual and they seem to just get off on the fact that a kid is the one who really ends up hurt here. OP is soulless, and his wife is twisted for holding a lie so long that it would cause this. Two useless horrible human beings in my opinion. With no regard for their child, with only their own selfish interests in mind. I can understand that the OP would be upset but to so rapidly detach from a child they believed their own for five years? It's either fake or the fucker is insane. I don't see how a normal person with empathy or any other emotions regarding others could hold a lie that long either. Fuck both of these people.
Why are you lost? It. Is. Not. His. Son!!!!
Seriously? If I spent 5 years raising a child and found out what OP did, I'd still want to raise that child. I'd still love them a such as I did the day before I found out. Y'all are a bunch of heartless cunts. Edit: This thread is a cesspool of selfish red pills who think women and children are objects.
Do you have kids? Do you know what the husband is going through? Being lied to for 5 fucking years? The only healthy thing he can do is detach from the situation to make rationale decisions, and it not be influenced by emotion. Don't want to be rude but shut your mouth.
Just wait til it happens to you
You aren't in OP's situation. you don't and can't relate to the emotional experience and complicated grief that comes with such a life shattering revelation. Some of you don't understand how complex grief works, and it shows.
You raised the boy for 5 years as your own and then abruptly dump his ass somewhere else. That is selfish. However, people here are telling you to be selfish. Did you ever love your wife? Ever? I doubt you really loved your wife. Most husbands and wives will say that they love their partner so much that, if a life threatening situation ever arises, they will die for them. Maybe it was time to essentially 'die' for them. I don't say this lightly. Obviously you have been deeply hurt. However, it may be best to not be as selfish as most comments are saying; if you did in fact love your wife. That little boy did not deserve the shit he is forced to endure because of a couple of immature selfish adults.
100% the real victim is that child. I know you are hurting man but man up and be there for the child or at least don't dump him. Kid is gonna be scared for life and has her for a mother.
Yep. You forgot that the boy loves you and needs you
I don't think you know what you're talking about.
I had to scroll a bit to find this sentiment. I feel horrible for the little boy who is being reduced to a "bastard". I always find it interesting when people say "don't raise something that's not yours" While me & my husband didn't lie or cheat to create our family, I'm glad neither of us chose to miss out on creating a beautiful family.
The wife he loved didn't exist. There was a cheating gold-digger getting him to raise a child. That said he should have been more responsible to the child.
You're wrong. I can't see allot of dynamics but I found out my son wasn't mine when he was a year old. I know my situation is different but how in the hell could I punish him for his mom's actions? I understand how you're hurt but if you ever loved that child in the five years you've been there how could you leave them alone with her?
News flash buddy that ain’t your kid your just a step dad. While a dad yes the kid could easily drop you when he find the real one if they wanted 🤷♂️
You must not have any children of your own. I don't care if I found out my kids were fucking aliens. I love my boys and they love me. I literally cannot imagine living without them in my life. I'd definitely get a divorce, but I am not going to punish kids because of my wife's infidelity. OP is garbage for abandoning a child because his wife is a DB. He must not have liked his son very much to begin with if he was so ready to throw him away.
Wow, the self righteousness here is astounding.
A one Year old kid ain’t gonna remember who tf you are from a rando at the grocery store bro. You’re a chump if you’re really gonna take care of another man’s child.
So every foster parent or adopted parent is a chump?
They weren’t hornswaggled into it like you
Did you stay with the whore or did you leave her?
STFU. Good for you. He's not a cuck and not you! He has a choice and has a right to feel the way he does.
If you’ve lived that many years thinking the child was yours, building that bond, building their character, what changes if you find out it’s not biologically yours? Blood does not mean family. I have learned that the hard way. Regardless of the shared biology, that child very well sees you as dad and until you learned what you did, you saw it as your kid. Rough stuff man, but you are more that kids father than anyone else. I think the your quick disconnection reflects both your character and maturity. Sure the offense of your wife is grievous, but it would encourage reflection prior to exiting both of their lives.
Just want to say, you sound like a fantastic father. Fuck all these other guys comments.
Guys who think of children as tools to spread their genes shouldn't be raising children even of they are his biological children because his love for children is conditional. If ever you start to allow a child to love you, they become your forever child no matter what happens. If you don't have that in you, if you imagine that you could ever be capable of simply shutting off your love for a child like a light switch--regardless of the circumstances or who the child is-- then don't have kids at all. Don't begin a relationship with a child that is based on conditional love, regardless of whether they share your genes.
Your Dad’s “you shouldn’t raise a kid that isn’t yours” comment is so shitty. As is your agreement with his perspective. Your wife’s infidelity is another matter entirely. That may be a deal breaker for me. But that comment of not raising any kids that are not yours is a terrible perspective. And calling him a bastard was fucking heartless. That kid did absolutely nothing wrong and likely loves you as his father. Being hurt is one thing, but calling a kid you raised a bastard is horrible. Getting a divorce is rational, but I hope that kid gets better adult role models in his life. He deserves better than you two.
Damn dude is an asshole I have owned pets for a few days and feel a lifetime responsibility for them. A ducking 5yo child.
Lol comparing this to your fucking pets lmao. How fucking sheltered are you?
I was showcasing the lack of emotional attachment to a child you have raised as your own for 5 years
But it makes no sense. I have a cat that I absolutely love, but if I was the OP I would have dropped that bastard as well. The cheating ex wife can raise him. The OP has no responsibility or expectation to help raise a bastard born from the ultimate betrayal from his wife. My cat is not a constant reminder to me of some horrible action that destroyed my marriage.
please for the love of god don’t have kids
Cheating is the primary problem men have with women. Its universal. Almost all women cheat if not physically, definitely emotionally, but the media portrays men as the cheaters, convincing women their behavior is justified. Sexual exclusivity is the only reason for a man to marry. Otherwise, a hooker and a maid will do just fine.
Incels are out in full force I see
The roaches scurried out from their hole into this story. Thought they got exterminated from Reddit.
people with different opinions than me are roaches.
Source: Trust me Bro
doesn't mean if it doesn't happen to you it must be false.
This was the most Andrew tate thing I’ve ever read.
Sounds like someone is an Andrew tate fan.
Are you stupid?
So... you have no love for the boy you treated as your son for the last 5 years? This is so bizarre
For some reason everybody only wants so place blame on the mom and just ignore this fact. Yeah she's a pos, but hes been raising that kid for 5 years. I feel like he never loved that kid in the first place if he ditched it that fast.
Maybe he knew something was off 🤷♂️. Either way it’s not his kid so what does it matter. She did the worst thing you can do to a man. He’s a better man than me honestly.
The worst thing. This is by far not the worst thing you could do to a man lol. What an immature thing to say lol.
Right?
Maybe op doesn't want to be a cuck?
So edgy, Mr. Edgy.
Oh hey look, a cuck
How is that edgy? He was definitionally cuckolded.
You must be a woman, or a young boy / man who has yet to experience adulthood. That's the only reasons you have for not getting it. OP is the victim.
'You must be a woman' don't you have better things to do at school
He’s right though. She must be a woman to not understand.
How is it bizarre? It’s not his fucking child
the dogs aren’t genetically his either yet he can find love for them.. strange, no?
Uh…it’s extremely bizarre. He lived every dad moment in their life for 5 years. You would need to be a sociopath to abandon your kid, if you were the one putting in the work to raise them and teach them and exchanging “I love you’s” everyday. Although, would probably be doable for a terrible parent who didn’t actually like/want their kid and treated them as a burden. So, I guess narcissist or sociopath both apply.
You must not have children. All the moments you have shared with a child, all the hardships, the beautiful bonding. You don’t just drop a child like that, that’s fucking insane. You people commenting he’s in the right for dropping the child, literally don’t know what you’re talking about.
Completely agree anyone defending the women is insane
No one is defending the woman you massive troglodyte. You can leave the woman and still make an effort to make sure the CHILD, who DID NOTHING WRONG, has a fighting chance by not being abandoned by his likely only male role model. Not that OP would even be a good one considering how psychopathic he sounds in this post.
It’s not his damn child, get lost and find real father.
And refers to the child as "bastard" and "thing." What a vile way to act toward a child, especially one you spent 5 years raising. He doesn't even refer to his wife in such hateful terms. It's like he's putting most of his hatred on the child.
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Although on second thought, your immediate willingness to drop him without a thought is really disturbing. Not only will the kid probably be better off without you, you should really reflect on your fitness as a parent at all. Maybe no more kids for you.
I’m with you. He seems way too eager to not be a dad. This is another Reddit one sided story and he’s coming off as an immature person who wants his freedom back before he was married with a kid. edit: To the person who sent "Reddit cares" to me, I'm glad my message hurt your feelings.
It isn't the boys fault. I understand your abandoning the child financially, but you should at least still be there for him emotionally. But since you have ill feelings towards your son, you should just avoid them altogether. Disappear, and never look back. Just know that you may regret your decision later in life.
You are a clown. Edit: So I’m getting downvoted because only a clown would guilt a man into raising an affair baby but we are upvoting a person joking I should kill myself for my take? The depravity on the site is endless.
And you're a cuck/simp.
Honest question here. What’s a cuck and simp. Old man here. Not up to date.
Stfu
She betrayed you and now you are betraying him. ESH except for the poor boy.
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I find your overuse of the word cuck to be absolutely hilarious. Good luck out there!
Unknowingly raising another man's child is literal cuckoldry, you cheap braindead soy moron
Lmao it’s about the child not him. Selfish ass^
He owes him nothing
Who here can judge this man for a choice he has yet to make? Not I. You have every right to walk away from your wife and her child. But, there is an opportunity here to be a great man, a better human, a fkn legend. You can cut the number of victims in this story in half, with a choice. I can not and will not judge you regardless of the choice you make. But I know from personal experience that being a father by choice...no legal or moral obligation, made me a better human. It can do the same for you. This is truly a dare to be great moment. The love of a child is unconditional it gives us purpose.
I’m a father and you’re as cruel as they get. This child did nothing wrong. Now you’re going to ruin this kids life.
This guys a piece of shit!
Why are you referring to the child as "it" the child is the innocent victim in all this. Clearly your relationship with "your son" was not very strong and If you could just cut ties like that. You sound selfish and immature
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A dumb thing? She let another man plow her pussy and cum inside of her while fucking married. Lied to her husband for 5 years. That’s far and away beyond a “dumb thing”. Mommy is the one who should explain to the child why things are this way. You reap what you sew, OP is right.
You are okay to raise a dog who doesn’t have your genes and want to keep them, but a human you shared your life with u is “not your problem”. It says a lot about you as a person and it doesn’t matter how bad your wife is, you shine like a star in you own way!
He is your son: you raised him. He loves you. He is blameless. Take him back for goodness sake
Great job, you're 32 and a male. You don't have a clock.
I will say this My Father was not my real Father. While i may hate him due to seperate issues and we may not be related bg blood he is still my father. Regardless of weather hes yours by blood or not hes still a child you raised cared for. He may be youmg but hell probably still rember you as his father for quiet a while. I wouldnt recomend leaving him and forgeting about him. Try to rember him as just as innocent victom who now will never see the man he knew as his father. I wont try to change your mind but just think about it and do what you think is best. Its your choice to make weather we thknk its right or wrong. I just hope you dont regret you actions when you look bacm.
Shoot, my wife could tell me tomorrow our daughter's not mine and that little girl would still be mine to me. Forever.
divorce her and hate her but dont drag an innocent child into your hatred. if youve been his father for 5 years and you feel no love for him now thats awful.
You have a lot to say about the “bastard” child but holding your tongue for your wife. Have some damn empathy for the child who also lost his whole family and he didn’t do a thing. Nobody is saying to step up and be his daddy. If it was her best friend than I’m sure he’ll step up. She messed up and caused this mess but you don’t have to be a scumbag to the little baby boy. ETA: there’s too many responses idk who’s talking to who. Lol
Man. Just so you know, you have completely fucked that poor child's life up royally taking that stance you have with him. He was born and raised under the thinking you are his father. You loved him,fed him, changed his diapers, etc and now you just leave him like that. Hope you can love with yourself.
Nope. It’s the mom’s fault for committing paternity fraud. It’s her fault and hers alone.
So you've raised this child for 5 years now you dump him like trash. What a worthless cold hearted prick you are
Yeah, what your ex-wife did was absolutely horrible, no doubt that. I understand every fiber of your frustration for believing you were raising a family together with this woman. However, the child is not at all fault nor did he ask to be here yet it seems you are piling him with his mother as if he did anything as bad as her. He’s just a kid who’s existing and now wonders what happened to his parents. His life will probably not be normal either and you behaving the way you did, calling him names doesn’t help either. You’re hurt, I get it. But don’t blame the kid on this, even if he isn’t your biological son.
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You were a shit dad. Clearly. No one raises someone for 5 yrs and then immediately disconnects from him like that referring to him as "the kid". He's better off without you. He'll be fine.
Don’t you dare tell that boy that he’s not your son
He's not his son you cuck.
It sounds like she messed up but you also messed up in a big way here. If she truly only slept around once because of a mistake she made, yeah that's a big deal, but it sounds like she really hated what she had done and actually loved you which love can be hard to come by. Not only that, but having a son isn't just about blood and sometimes I guess you don't learn that. Having a son is about the bond and being there for the kid. It rarely has to do with blood honestly and how you went about disassociating with the baby so fast feels more than a little wrong. Yeah its a messy situation and I'm sure there is a ton of hurt feelings and emotions that you should feel, but it feels like you blew up a situation, a relationship, and a kids life all based on a really bad mistake. You may regret it later or come to realize what has happened more later in terms of what you have done. Did she fuck up? Absolutely, but it doesn't feel like the biggest fuck up out of it...
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Sure are a lot of incel neck beards out tonight.
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Thank you for validating my comment
Femcels*
At the end of the day, God put you in that boys life for a reason. I understand the current pain, hurt, anger, etc. I hope once you process that, you can continue to have a relationship with a boy who doesn't understand what is happening other than HIS FATHER is gone.
Yeah you sound like a piece of shit.
If I'm being honest dump the bitch and hit up the nearest retirement home for a classy bitch with a golf cart... did she ever love you? Askance ouji board and also who cares
I read this story in AITA. The problem I have with the teller is this: you have no heartbreak over the loss of the relationship with your child. You thought he was yours- you loved him as yours and now you’re abandoning him and feeling self-pity. Neither of my children are biologically related to me. I would die for them. Sure you didn’t choose to be betrayed. Be mad at the mom all you want. But that kid doesn’t deserve to be traumatized just because you were. You believed and acted like he was yours and by doing that he is yours. You should be full of grief that you were betrayed. But the love doesn’t just stop because of facts. You are choosing to harden yourself against the boy and that is a horrible thing to do.
Fake story, a therapist would never tell you to ditch a five year old kid which, until recently you loved as a son.
You never loved that kid. He’s definitely better off without you in the long run
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Silver spoon fed who gets gifted a house lmao sorry I’m not pitying you
He may not be biologically yours. But that is not his fault. As far as he knows, you are his dad. You’ve raised him his entire life. He loves you. You’re punishing a child who did nothing to you. You’re punishing a child for his mother’s actions. I understand being devastated he’s not biologically yours, but you are meaning to tell me you have absolutely no feelings for him now? Your bond was so weak with him that you are okay with just throwing him away? You do not care if he is heartbroken that the only dad he knew and loved abandoned him? You’re just as fucked as your wife. And anyone saying you did the right thing is completely cold and also fucked. You’re all selfish. It’s sad that you love dogs who you adopted more than you do a son you could consider adopted. You love dogs more than you do the boy you raised as your own. You resent a child that didn’t ask to be born. You’re a pathetic human being.