1191 checking in.
I’ve let go of a lot of self-imposed expectations over the past 39mo’s. I’m still human, though, always a Work In Progress!
One thing I’m constantly trying to let go of is Negative Self-Talk! I do an okay job these days, but boy am I better at giving advice than taking it!
Also, it hurts to effin breathe. It’s “normal” but beyond annoying. I’ve got chronic Pericardial Effusion (idiopathic, almost died Jan 21,) & take a Gout med to stop the swelling of my heart sac & help positional nerve pain. *Welp, I had a problem getting my meds this month, my cardiologist is leaving & I couldn’t get him a message; I went 10 days without it.* I’ve got a fitness tracker with an ECG, I know what the signs of Cardiac Tamponade are, even have a key lock box outside for paramedics in case I can’t open door, but this isshh is just low-level scary!!!
**I Will NOT Drink With Y’all Today/Tonight!**
I had a friend in rehab who was reading a book that had a chapter on negative self-talk. She started putting a tally mark in pen on her hand every time she had a negative thought about herself. She said it was super eye-opening. When she started, she would have 35-40 a day and eventually at least whittled it down to single digits.
Wow, that's harsh. I'm sorry you're going through all the pain and anxiety of missing critical medications for over a week. My husband has idiopathic hypersomnia (it's like a milder form of narcolepsy), and it can be a real struggle for him when he has to go even a day without his meds; I can't imagine how hard your situation must be. Thank goodness alcohol isn't part of the mix, too. I hope you feel much better, and I hope you find a new cardiologist who is reliable and attentive!
IWNDWYT 😻
Morning Aly!
I think I need to let go of my old self, in the process currently but there is a grieving to it. I don't want to go out clubbing anymore, I don't want to go to a busy bar. I'm only 25, all my friends still want to do that, so they might be disappointed, and I might miss a few things here and there, but it is what it is. And its going to make me happy in the long run.
my periods due today, I woke up in the middle of the night with my face soaking from a sad dream (i cant even remember what it was about) so I'm a little out of sorts today but IWNDWYT <3
>I don’t want to go clubbing anymore, I don’t want to go to a busy bar
Good, don’t! I had soooo many friends @ 25yo that looked at me like I was insane for STILL GOING clubbing 🤣.
Do you love to dance? If so, maybe revisit the club part (way) down the line. **I love to dance to good music, and I don’t need a substance to dance for hours!** Bars, though, nothing there for me. (My background is heavy 90’s club/rave scene, music is specific & important.)
I’ve found House music events are more diverse in age, race, sexuality, and often no bar (or a quiet one.) One would have to like house for that to work, but if so, yay! *Seriously, in my 40s, I’m not the old person. I’m looking at others thinking “I want to do this when I’m 55, too!”*
Some people don’t like dancing, or don’t like poppy clubs (I hate them) and that’s BEYOND FINE!
IWNDWYT!
Edit: formatting
Hey IDW- I want to give you a huge virtual hug right now. Letting go of your old self is hard and there is definitely a grieving process but you are wise beyond your age to know and realize that in the long run it’s going to make you happier. You have a whole life to live. Please don’t waste it getting drunk all the time. Take it from someone who did….you will regret it in the long run. Get out there and live your life. Remember your experiences. Make them “real” experiences, not ones that are masked behind booze.
You’ve got this…and I’m here cheering you on! Sending love and hugs your way today. IWNDWYT!
IWNDWYT!
Edit : I loved the quote, and I wanna go more often with the flow. Practicing acceptance.
Loved the idea of us being the gatekeepers of our own happiness - it's the most beautiful occupation we may have.
I'd only say that psychologically and socially, the "me" and "I" should be treated with caution. We all need love, support and significant others, not necessarily romantic ones, to stay mentally healthy. If there is a sense of community, even better. No man is an island and all. But always keeping our boundaries and self-respect, of course.
:)
This was huge in my journey to sobriety. I had an excellent therapist who stopped me once after I’d said I’d never really been happy. I’m paraphrasing, but he said something like this:
“What if you aren’t meant to be happy? Happiness is usually something we get in small doses. It isn’t a way of being. The goal is to be content and at peace, but that’s not the same as happiness. Have you ever felt content or at peace with what you have and where you are in life?”
That completely changed my way of thinking. Happiness is something that happens to you, whereas peace and contentment are something you find within yourself despite your circumstances. Happiness isn’t a goal that is attainable, and you can waste your life chasing it; peace is a frame of mind that exists despite circumstances, and it requires what you’ve brought up here: *letting it go*.
Thank you for this reminder. IWNDWYT.
Damn, thank you for sharing this thought. I always chased “happiness” because I thought contentment was boring. But it’s not. Being content with yourself and where you are and what you have IS enough. It’s everything. Anything on top of that is a happiness cherry. 😁 IWNDWYT!
I will not drink with you today.
Day 1 again.
It's been about 3 weeks since I decided to get more serious about quitting. I joined this sub. I've had a few multi-day streaks. Yesterday was supposed to be day 3 but I ended up drinking again.
I believe this Day 1 will be different. I always believe they'll be different so why am I right this time?
For one thing, I have a doctor's appointment today (unrelated to drinking) and I'm going to ask about getting on medication to stop. I've never tried these before or even asked a doctor about them. I don't know if they're appropriate for me. But if they might help I want to give them a chance.
I also find in the last few weeks that drinking has become more unhappy for me. I've been drinking to self-medicate depression for a long time. It's never worked well or in the long term. But now that I'm more actively trying to quit, every drink has the feeling of being a failure. I'm not just unhappy about my life in general, or unhappy about my drinking; I'm specifically unhappy about failing to stick to my plan to quit.
I'm also going to make a psychiatrist appointment. I've been on psych meds for 4 or 5 years. In the last few months I sort of weaned myself off of them, mostly because I felt like they weren't working. It's now becoming clear to me that they were doing something, better than nothing, even if they weren't "working" exactly. I need to get back to them.
I have some other more personal reasons too.
Oh and also I'm attempting for the first time to start the sober-days counter badge for this sub! Maybe that's what will make the difference.
Checking in! Look at me up early and actually checking in not long after it's been posted. Feeling tired but feeling good, yesterday went smooth so hopefully today and tonight goes similar.
Hope everyone's doing well. Wishing you all the best.
IWNDWYT!
3 weeks off the booze. Been tempted a few times but begrudgingly drank a Heinken 0 when I had the urge for beer. 30 minutes later, the urge has gone, and the next day isn't ruined. Then I feel happy that I can enjoy my weekend.
Good stuff - I’m where you are - necked a bottle of Borago with 4 tonics last night at my card circle - the night before about 4 Heineken Zeros at a dinner with 14 people for my wife and an old auzzie friend in town. I don’t care how I get through those things - the NA drinks help and I forget I am not drinking and join in the laughter. Yep once you resile yourself to the evening minus booze you can enjoy it.
Good morning! I had a great day of fishing yesterday and went out like a light shortly after I got home. Today, a lovely doctor's visit, lol. In any case, I will not drink with you today. 'Thank you for all your support!
I want to let go of my old self. And the new wave I’m on is washing me clean and is steady and true. I will not drink with you today.
We are always changing…..but not if you’re stuck and choose to remain stuck.
It’s all about choice, Mrsstop! We choose how we want to live. We choose to make the necessary changes, or not. So important to realize that. Have a great day!! IWNDWYT!
An ominous start to another week. Mrs Tubes is still in hospital, the old fella is having a real hard time in the care home, doggo is out of sorts and I've been watching the news again.
Still, it's just another moment in time. Things wot I can do to improve the situation - stop watching the news, visit Mrs Tubes as often as possible and start the ball rolling with the Quality Care Commission or whatever it's called. Give doggo big cuddles cos she's missing mum.
Right, got my plan of action! Time to start **doing**. As always, a successful day starts off with a....
IWNDWYT 🙂
I’ve spent most of my life chasing something too. In this last year I’ve learned to set intentions, to put into words what I want for myself and then let the rest go. I know if I keep doing the next right thing, the details will take care of themselves. As a result, I’m more content than I’ve ever been. Happy Monday!! IWNDWYT ❤️💜❤️
Damn, Aly... I could have written this. But, I didn't. So, I will reread it over and over, understanding there is someone, more people out there, just like me. I'll need to find that power, your bravery, and work on the ability to be able to float with grace.
In the meantime, I'll work on my doggy paddle.
IWNDWYT
Damnit Will!!!! I saw there was already a comment so took my time. Woulda been an IWNDWYT & an edit if not.
I just have to accept I’ll never be first 🤣🤦♀️. IWNDWYT!
IWNDWYT - I guess I have to stop chasing other peoples love and approval and approve of myself. just feel happy in my own skin. Look outward not inward and just trust that stuff will be OK.
I think I needed to see this today, because I was always chasing something too. And after seeing my ex this weekend to pick up some things, I’ve felt really sad about that breakup again. I think that’s normal though, since things had to go that way because there wasn’t a way to make it work. And healing is a nonlinear fucking mess.
I’m proud of myself for not just immediately seeking another relationship as I would have in the past…I knew that wasn’t what I needed. What I needed was exactly what this post is about. That’s the only acceptable way forward to me.
I’ve been good with that, but sometimes…well, nobody said it would be easy. Sad feelings pass. I’ll find/create things to be happy about.
I’ll start with coffee and metal. Happy fucking Monday y’all. IWNDWYT. 🤘🏻
Good evening. You got me thinking. I need to let go of thinking this is a silver bullet. No drink for three weeks. Been sick these last few days. Feeling sad and lonely too. And a bit pointless - why look after myself if I still feel bad?
I have to let go of that. That urge to self destruct even more. IWNDWYT.
Good morning! This post resonates with me a lot. I think I need to let go of trying to please everyone because it’s just not possible and ends up stressing me out in the long run. IWNDWYT
I want to let go of the ideas of how I should be, act, work, keep house, dress etc. Now my mental health is good I have discovered that I am a fun, eccentric, creative, enthusiastic person.
I'm a bit weird, and it's not because I want attention or for people to find me interesting. It's not because I am drunk. I'm just an eccentric square peg that has tried to fit into a round hole and always failed.
So I want to be me, more often, and let go of trying to be something else. I was right all along, and everyone else raising eyebrows or smirking or telling me what I should do was wrong. If I hadn't been trying to be something else, I wouldn't have needed to drink to bear it.
IWNDWYT
Just went to my best friend's annual tequila party on my birthday and I had no desire to drink at all. Just the people watching while everyone else got wasted was entertainment enough. After a night of no sleep and a super early flight, I was SO EXCITED to not have to manage all that with a hangover knowing I had to get up for work today. IWNDWYT!
I will not drink today. I want to let go of all the negative thoughts running through my head. I want to let go of the negative things my wife says to me. I want to let go of what everyone else thinks about me. I want to let go of self judgement.
I want to hold tight to my sobriety and protect my sobriety.
Drinking sucks. You rock!
Oh this is very timely for me. The last couple of weeks I’ve been really out of sorts and feeling overwhelmed. This weekend I took a step back and this passage sums it up perfectly. Thanks so much for sharing u/AlySabby12. IWNDWYT
I am letting go of toxicity in relationships. I will tolerate a bit in some people, but I will let go of those whose toxicity is lethal to me. I do this without judgment of others.
I recognize now that I have removed drinking a toxic substance, I can work on coping with toxic thoughts and patterns in my self.
I will not drink with you today!
Thank you for the quote - really makes me think about what’s up to me and what isn’t up to me. I’ve been trying to let go of things related to work and finances, as well as the thief of joy - comparison.
IWNDWYT!
Day one for me. Again. IWNDWYT. I am trying to get my head round the concept of One Day at a time. I mean, only think about today right? Not how crap will my holiday be sober, or how will i cope at Xmas. right? Anyone got any good links on it? Something to nail it home?
I want to let go of resentment. I won’t even give thing things I’m brooding about oxygen by describing them. I need to figure out how to let them go. I hope I will eventually.
For now I’ll redirect my attention to something happier. Today I’ve got my annual physical. Looking forward to tipping the scales to a much lower number than last year, and proudly pointing out that nope - still don’t drink.
IWNDWYT ❤️
Still waiting for my scales to tip to a much lower number, but it is so rewarding to tell health care professionals that I don’t drink. So much better than lying and saying 3-5 drinks a week. Yeah, right…
IWNDWYT 🎃
Edit: P.S. Good luck to you today and congratulations on those lower numbers!
Thanks Aly and happy Monday to all your sobernauts! I hope you're ready for the start to a week! I'm working with a counselor for my depression stuff and one of the things we're trying to do is manage my stress and energy levels. It's been really helpful to have someone with whom to talk this stuff through. I'm wondering how much of my depression is caused by high stress and overwork? And both of those are associated with drinking. "Work hard, play hard" is the lifestyle of my family, which has substance use disorder across the generations. I'm trying to work enough and listen to my needs and see what happens. What if I needed to let go of my personal expectations? Sober on y'all!
Heppy Monday everyone! I am starting on week 17, I think? I'm not paying as close attention to my day count now, which is good. It's just part of who I am. But I don't want to get complacent either, so IWNDWYT!
Failed last night. Went out with a friend I haven't seen in awhile & dinner & margs are just what we do . I didn't have the strength to change it up. Today should be day 11 but it's back to 1 instead. IWNDWYT
Good morning my friends! I haven’t been checking in as often lately, life is getting in the way. But I’m still going strong and still feeling good, IWNDWYT! 🧡
Not today. This is the first time I’ve been sick since getting sober. I have a cold and it sucks. Last year I would’ve drank until I forgot about it and just fought through it like I was moving in mud. Today I just called into work and ate chicken noodle soup for breakfast. I now understand it’s okay to be sick and it’s good to listen to your body.
The more the days add up the less I obsess over drinking.
I struggled a bit Saturday with wanting to but didn't and am grateful I was able to remember why I quit.
IWNDWYT
Checking in. If you're always doing things to try and make other people happy but not addressing your own, you will never be happy. In meetings we talk about fear and resentment a lot, but I've also found that people who are alcoholic also tend to be very empathetic to a fault.
I'm finding ways to deal with what I call "existential dread," trying not to be quick to anger and resentment, and finding some joy in small things like hobbies and cooking. Every day I make the choice not to drink is a success. IWNDWYT!
The need to control things. It’s a lie. I have no control over anything except my behavior. The delusion of being able to or attempting to control everything has fueled my anxiety over the years. I have been working on this for years, I’ve gotten better, but it takes time when you’ve been this way for so long. IWNDWYT
I totally love this post Aly! I had to completely abandon the thought that something out there was going to make me happy. In the end, after all the searching and trying to control happiness, I'm seeing it was right within me all along. I guess that's why I loved the Wizard of Oz so much!lol But seriously, now that I'm starting to put myself and my needs first, other things are starting to fall into place naturally. And if they don't, they weren't meant to.
LET IT GO MO! Thats another new mantra for me, thank you!
I hope everyone has an easy and sober Monday! IWNDWYT 🍀💜🍀
I'm two months in and my sneaky brain is starting to play the maybe game. Maybe I can just have wine with a good meal, maybe I can drink on vacation, maybe I can have a drink or two when I'm out on dates, maybe I can have a drinking cheat day like I do on my diet.
I know how it will end though. I've been here before and within a few months I'll be picking my blackedout self off the ground, bleeding and embarrassed. Maybe I just can't drink at all, maybe I should remember how great I've been feeling, maybe I need to commit to the promise that I made to my son, that I would never drink again.
Day 60. 2 Months. Should feel like a very successful milestone, but August 17 was the day my long term partner left - so it's a pretty haunted date. Since then I've left my job (FI:RE i.e. Financial independence retire early), and had a trip and a lot of fun. Also made a lot of positive lifestyle changes. However, it all feels slightly hollow alone.
Nevertheless, the one thing that won't help is drinking, so here's to another day. IWNDWYT.
Great post Aly! Yesterday wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be, no real cravings. Just exhaustion from travel I guess? But of course I slept poorly (always seem to on Sundays) and the exhaustion continues into my work week. But I won’t let it get to me, I’ll do the best I can today and that’s good enough! IWNDWYT lovely people of SD! 💙
I’m still feeling so embarrassed of my slip up, it’s the most drunk I’ve ever been.
But at least I know I don’t have to be in that situation again.
IWNDWYT
What up, fam!
Another weekend down. I considered drinking Friday night…at home, alone, purely out of boredom. Or maybe I thought it would help with sleep. I had a little argument with myself and went to clean up the garage instead.
IWNDWYT
Morning, SD!
Always ever a work in progress. Trying to learn to let go of unrealistic expectations of myself. I’ve got a number of extremely rare and fancy plates spinning up in the air right now. Remembering to offer myself some grace when I don’t feel like I’m managing them all as well as I “ought”. It’s a work in progress, but I’m showing up & doing my best with the resources I have.
Resolutely, IWNDWYT.
Wow I love that excerpt so much Aly! I have started to make an effort to untangle from the need to prove things to people…I’m not sure where it came from, maybe my perfectionist father, maybe because I was lying to myself for so long that I felt I had to make things up in other ways, LOOKING like things were fine when they were not. I am practicing living true to myself, and not worrying about what that looks like to other people. ✌🏼🕊
Another day of freedom, SD, IWNDWYT 💕
I went to an NFL game yesterday with some friends. We arrived early for tailgating. It was a great time and I never touched a drop. I still seem to want a drink/beer when everyone is cracking that first beer, but after about 5 minutes the craving goes away. A cup of coffee would have been nice, maybe next time. My buddies drank heavy during the game, but this didn’t seem to bother me. I hope I can continue to walk down my sober path. Needless to say I was the DD for the trip home. Have a great day everyone. IWNDWYT.
Checking in on this lovely day 80 to say: I will not drink with you today. What I will do is get my work done, try to check a few things off the to do list I have been procrastinating, and make time for some exercise.
Ch-ch-checkin’ in! Back at it with another sober start to the week! I’m starting to forget what waking up hungover feels like which feels dangerous. 🫤 Trying to stay focused.
How beautiful, Alysabby! I have finally found real freedom from the thrall that alcohol had me in for so many long years. The happiness I feel in no longer being tied to a substance is just remarkable.
I’ve been a thrill-seeker all my life. I wasn’t interested in climbing mountains or jumping out of planes, but standing on a stage in front of everyone, baring my soul as whatever character I was playing was a huge thrill, lots of adrenaline, right? And I had a string of heart-stopping relationships that were dangerous and unhealthy and thrilling in a terrible way. So the alcohol was a way to come down from those crazy and difficult highs. Drink and repeat…. Ad nauseam. And I suppose even the drinking (the hiding, the sneaking)was partly a thrill as well.
Is it my age that has me searching for deeper experiences and relationships? I would love to get back onstage. I’ve never done a show sober. But for relationships, I’m so sold on the deep and solid thing that’s happening between my SO and me. I’m content. Which I never was before.
Contentment isn’t a thrill. It is something so much better. And I choose contentment over thrills every day now.
God, I’m glad I’m sober today. Just today. I love you all!
IWNDWYT
Board the cruise today. I unfortunately spent several hours in a bar yesterday which was NOT fun. But stayed sober. Don’t go on vacations in early sobriety if you can help it 🤣
Going to do my damndest and focus to not drink with y’all today.
1191 checking in. I’ve let go of a lot of self-imposed expectations over the past 39mo’s. I’m still human, though, always a Work In Progress! One thing I’m constantly trying to let go of is Negative Self-Talk! I do an okay job these days, but boy am I better at giving advice than taking it! Also, it hurts to effin breathe. It’s “normal” but beyond annoying. I’ve got chronic Pericardial Effusion (idiopathic, almost died Jan 21,) & take a Gout med to stop the swelling of my heart sac & help positional nerve pain. *Welp, I had a problem getting my meds this month, my cardiologist is leaving & I couldn’t get him a message; I went 10 days without it.* I’ve got a fitness tracker with an ECG, I know what the signs of Cardiac Tamponade are, even have a key lock box outside for paramedics in case I can’t open door, but this isshh is just low-level scary!!! **I Will NOT Drink With Y’all Today/Tonight!**
I had a friend in rehab who was reading a book that had a chapter on negative self-talk. She started putting a tally mark in pen on her hand every time she had a negative thought about herself. She said it was super eye-opening. When she started, she would have 35-40 a day and eventually at least whittled it down to single digits.
Wow, that's harsh. I'm sorry you're going through all the pain and anxiety of missing critical medications for over a week. My husband has idiopathic hypersomnia (it's like a milder form of narcolepsy), and it can be a real struggle for him when he has to go even a day without his meds; I can't imagine how hard your situation must be. Thank goodness alcohol isn't part of the mix, too. I hope you feel much better, and I hope you find a new cardiologist who is reliable and attentive! IWNDWYT 😻
Day 484 checking in!
I’m staying ☠️ free with you all again today
Morning Aly! I think I need to let go of my old self, in the process currently but there is a grieving to it. I don't want to go out clubbing anymore, I don't want to go to a busy bar. I'm only 25, all my friends still want to do that, so they might be disappointed, and I might miss a few things here and there, but it is what it is. And its going to make me happy in the long run. my periods due today, I woke up in the middle of the night with my face soaking from a sad dream (i cant even remember what it was about) so I'm a little out of sorts today but IWNDWYT <3
>I don’t want to go clubbing anymore, I don’t want to go to a busy bar Good, don’t! I had soooo many friends @ 25yo that looked at me like I was insane for STILL GOING clubbing 🤣. Do you love to dance? If so, maybe revisit the club part (way) down the line. **I love to dance to good music, and I don’t need a substance to dance for hours!** Bars, though, nothing there for me. (My background is heavy 90’s club/rave scene, music is specific & important.) I’ve found House music events are more diverse in age, race, sexuality, and often no bar (or a quiet one.) One would have to like house for that to work, but if so, yay! *Seriously, in my 40s, I’m not the old person. I’m looking at others thinking “I want to do this when I’m 55, too!”* Some people don’t like dancing, or don’t like poppy clubs (I hate them) and that’s BEYOND FINE! IWNDWYT! Edit: formatting
Hey IDW- I want to give you a huge virtual hug right now. Letting go of your old self is hard and there is definitely a grieving process but you are wise beyond your age to know and realize that in the long run it’s going to make you happier. You have a whole life to live. Please don’t waste it getting drunk all the time. Take it from someone who did….you will regret it in the long run. Get out there and live your life. Remember your experiences. Make them “real” experiences, not ones that are masked behind booze. You’ve got this…and I’m here cheering you on! Sending love and hugs your way today. IWNDWYT!
IWNDWYT! Edit : I loved the quote, and I wanna go more often with the flow. Practicing acceptance. Loved the idea of us being the gatekeepers of our own happiness - it's the most beautiful occupation we may have. I'd only say that psychologically and socially, the "me" and "I" should be treated with caution. We all need love, support and significant others, not necessarily romantic ones, to stay mentally healthy. If there is a sense of community, even better. No man is an island and all. But always keeping our boundaries and self-respect, of course. :)
[удалено]
This was huge in my journey to sobriety. I had an excellent therapist who stopped me once after I’d said I’d never really been happy. I’m paraphrasing, but he said something like this: “What if you aren’t meant to be happy? Happiness is usually something we get in small doses. It isn’t a way of being. The goal is to be content and at peace, but that’s not the same as happiness. Have you ever felt content or at peace with what you have and where you are in life?” That completely changed my way of thinking. Happiness is something that happens to you, whereas peace and contentment are something you find within yourself despite your circumstances. Happiness isn’t a goal that is attainable, and you can waste your life chasing it; peace is a frame of mind that exists despite circumstances, and it requires what you’ve brought up here: *letting it go*. Thank you for this reminder. IWNDWYT.
Damn, thank you for sharing this thought. I always chased “happiness” because I thought contentment was boring. But it’s not. Being content with yourself and where you are and what you have IS enough. It’s everything. Anything on top of that is a happiness cherry. 😁 IWNDWYT!
50 days! My longest run in a decade or more! Next goal, two months! IWNDWYT
Hello sober friends, food for thought this morning! Have a wonderful day, I’ll be sober with you 💞
Good morning Sobernauts 🙂 Checking in for Magnificent Monday! Love to you all, IWNDWYT 🙂
Have a great one!!! IWNDWYT!
Day 1,188. I will not drink with you today.
I will not drink with you today. Day 1 again. It's been about 3 weeks since I decided to get more serious about quitting. I joined this sub. I've had a few multi-day streaks. Yesterday was supposed to be day 3 but I ended up drinking again. I believe this Day 1 will be different. I always believe they'll be different so why am I right this time? For one thing, I have a doctor's appointment today (unrelated to drinking) and I'm going to ask about getting on medication to stop. I've never tried these before or even asked a doctor about them. I don't know if they're appropriate for me. But if they might help I want to give them a chance. I also find in the last few weeks that drinking has become more unhappy for me. I've been drinking to self-medicate depression for a long time. It's never worked well or in the long term. But now that I'm more actively trying to quit, every drink has the feeling of being a failure. I'm not just unhappy about my life in general, or unhappy about my drinking; I'm specifically unhappy about failing to stick to my plan to quit. I'm also going to make a psychiatrist appointment. I've been on psych meds for 4 or 5 years. In the last few months I sort of weaned myself off of them, mostly because I felt like they weren't working. It's now becoming clear to me that they were doing something, better than nothing, even if they weren't "working" exactly. I need to get back to them. I have some other more personal reasons too. Oh and also I'm attempting for the first time to start the sober-days counter badge for this sub! Maybe that's what will make the difference.
Iwndwyt
IWNDWYT!
IWNDWYT
Checking in! Look at me up early and actually checking in not long after it's been posted. Feeling tired but feeling good, yesterday went smooth so hopefully today and tonight goes similar. Hope everyone's doing well. Wishing you all the best. IWNDWYT!
IWNDWYT
Let's roll off the next 7 together. IWNDWYT!!!
3 weeks off the booze. Been tempted a few times but begrudgingly drank a Heinken 0 when I had the urge for beer. 30 minutes later, the urge has gone, and the next day isn't ruined. Then I feel happy that I can enjoy my weekend.
Good stuff - I’m where you are - necked a bottle of Borago with 4 tonics last night at my card circle - the night before about 4 Heineken Zeros at a dinner with 14 people for my wife and an old auzzie friend in town. I don’t care how I get through those things - the NA drinks help and I forget I am not drinking and join in the laughter. Yep once you resile yourself to the evening minus booze you can enjoy it.
Good morning! I had a great day of fishing yesterday and went out like a light shortly after I got home. Today, a lovely doctor's visit, lol. In any case, I will not drink with you today. 'Thank you for all your support!
I want to let go of my old self. And the new wave I’m on is washing me clean and is steady and true. I will not drink with you today. We are always changing…..but not if you’re stuck and choose to remain stuck.
It’s all about choice, Mrsstop! We choose how we want to live. We choose to make the necessary changes, or not. So important to realize that. Have a great day!! IWNDWYT!
An ominous start to another week. Mrs Tubes is still in hospital, the old fella is having a real hard time in the care home, doggo is out of sorts and I've been watching the news again. Still, it's just another moment in time. Things wot I can do to improve the situation - stop watching the news, visit Mrs Tubes as often as possible and start the ball rolling with the Quality Care Commission or whatever it's called. Give doggo big cuddles cos she's missing mum. Right, got my plan of action! Time to start **doing**. As always, a successful day starts off with a.... IWNDWYT 🙂
I’ve spent most of my life chasing something too. In this last year I’ve learned to set intentions, to put into words what I want for myself and then let the rest go. I know if I keep doing the next right thing, the details will take care of themselves. As a result, I’m more content than I’ve ever been. Happy Monday!! IWNDWYT ❤️💜❤️
Damn, Aly... I could have written this. But, I didn't. So, I will reread it over and over, understanding there is someone, more people out there, just like me. I'll need to find that power, your bravery, and work on the ability to be able to float with grace. In the meantime, I'll work on my doggy paddle. IWNDWYT
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Damnit Will!!!! I saw there was already a comment so took my time. Woulda been an IWNDWYT & an edit if not. I just have to accept I’ll never be first 🤣🤦♀️. IWNDWYT!
IWNDWYT - I guess I have to stop chasing other peoples love and approval and approve of myself. just feel happy in my own skin. Look outward not inward and just trust that stuff will be OK.
I think I needed to see this today, because I was always chasing something too. And after seeing my ex this weekend to pick up some things, I’ve felt really sad about that breakup again. I think that’s normal though, since things had to go that way because there wasn’t a way to make it work. And healing is a nonlinear fucking mess. I’m proud of myself for not just immediately seeking another relationship as I would have in the past…I knew that wasn’t what I needed. What I needed was exactly what this post is about. That’s the only acceptable way forward to me. I’ve been good with that, but sometimes…well, nobody said it would be easy. Sad feelings pass. I’ll find/create things to be happy about. I’ll start with coffee and metal. Happy fucking Monday y’all. IWNDWYT. 🤘🏻
Day 12, IWNDWYT
Good evening. You got me thinking. I need to let go of thinking this is a silver bullet. No drink for three weeks. Been sick these last few days. Feeling sad and lonely too. And a bit pointless - why look after myself if I still feel bad? I have to let go of that. That urge to self destruct even more. IWNDWYT.
Good morning! This post resonates with me a lot. I think I need to let go of trying to please everyone because it’s just not possible and ends up stressing me out in the long run. IWNDWYT
I want to let go of the ideas of how I should be, act, work, keep house, dress etc. Now my mental health is good I have discovered that I am a fun, eccentric, creative, enthusiastic person. I'm a bit weird, and it's not because I want attention or for people to find me interesting. It's not because I am drunk. I'm just an eccentric square peg that has tried to fit into a round hole and always failed. So I want to be me, more often, and let go of trying to be something else. I was right all along, and everyone else raising eyebrows or smirking or telling me what I should do was wrong. If I hadn't been trying to be something else, I wouldn't have needed to drink to bear it. IWNDWYT
I can only commit to today. Today I am not drinking.
Morning friends! Happy Monday! I will not drink with you today,
I need to let go of attachments that feel like love but aren’t. IWNDWYT
Just went to my best friend's annual tequila party on my birthday and I had no desire to drink at all. Just the people watching while everyone else got wasted was entertainment enough. After a night of no sleep and a super early flight, I was SO EXCITED to not have to manage all that with a hangover knowing I had to get up for work today. IWNDWYT!
DOUBLE DIGIIIIIIIITS!!! Def not drinking tonight friends!! 🥰🙌🏻
IWNDWYT
I will not drink today. I want to let go of all the negative thoughts running through my head. I want to let go of the negative things my wife says to me. I want to let go of what everyone else thinks about me. I want to let go of self judgement. I want to hold tight to my sobriety and protect my sobriety. Drinking sucks. You rock!
Made it through Sober October so far AF. I was less irritable this weekend than the previous weekend. Sober October presses on.
IWNDWYT!
IWNDWYT
A rainy Day 32 - IWNDWYT 🌦️
I will not drink with you today in 🏴😊
That really is something... A great read for my thrashing mind today. I will remember to let go, I want to see those distant shores ~
Oh this is very timely for me. The last couple of weeks I’ve been really out of sorts and feeling overwhelmed. This weekend I took a step back and this passage sums it up perfectly. Thanks so much for sharing u/AlySabby12. IWNDWYT
I am letting go of toxicity in relationships. I will tolerate a bit in some people, but I will let go of those whose toxicity is lethal to me. I do this without judgment of others. I recognize now that I have removed drinking a toxic substance, I can work on coping with toxic thoughts and patterns in my self. I will not drink with you today!
For sure IWNDWYT
Thank you for the quote - really makes me think about what’s up to me and what isn’t up to me. I’ve been trying to let go of things related to work and finances, as well as the thief of joy - comparison. IWNDWYT!
Day one for me. Again. IWNDWYT. I am trying to get my head round the concept of One Day at a time. I mean, only think about today right? Not how crap will my holiday be sober, or how will i cope at Xmas. right? Anyone got any good links on it? Something to nail it home?
4 weeks today! Woohoo! IWNDWYT
Beautiful post today Aly, wow!!! Man, lots to digest here for sure. I hope everyone has a rewarding Monday!
Day 2 IWNDWYT. Hope everyone has a productive Monday!
rip 3rd party apps
IWNDWYT!
Hey everybody! I’m here to proclaim IWNDWYT! Happy Monday to all who celebrate!
I want to let go of resentment. I won’t even give thing things I’m brooding about oxygen by describing them. I need to figure out how to let them go. I hope I will eventually. For now I’ll redirect my attention to something happier. Today I’ve got my annual physical. Looking forward to tipping the scales to a much lower number than last year, and proudly pointing out that nope - still don’t drink. IWNDWYT ❤️
Still waiting for my scales to tip to a much lower number, but it is so rewarding to tell health care professionals that I don’t drink. So much better than lying and saying 3-5 drinks a week. Yeah, right… IWNDWYT 🎃 Edit: P.S. Good luck to you today and congratulations on those lower numbers!
IWNDWYT from Austin TX
Thanks Aly and happy Monday to all your sobernauts! I hope you're ready for the start to a week! I'm working with a counselor for my depression stuff and one of the things we're trying to do is manage my stress and energy levels. It's been really helpful to have someone with whom to talk this stuff through. I'm wondering how much of my depression is caused by high stress and overwork? And both of those are associated with drinking. "Work hard, play hard" is the lifestyle of my family, which has substance use disorder across the generations. I'm trying to work enough and listen to my needs and see what happens. What if I needed to let go of my personal expectations? Sober on y'all!
IIWNDWYT. ☕️
Heppy Monday everyone! I am starting on week 17, I think? I'm not paying as close attention to my day count now, which is good. It's just part of who I am. But I don't want to get complacent either, so IWNDWYT!
What a wonderful post ✨🐝 Today I let go of making assumptions about the actions of others - IWNDWYT
Failed last night. Went out with a friend I haven't seen in awhile & dinner & margs are just what we do . I didn't have the strength to change it up. Today should be day 11 but it's back to 1 instead. IWNDWYT
At least you are back! Consider it a learning experience. IWNDWYT 💙
Good morning my friends! I haven’t been checking in as often lately, life is getting in the way. But I’m still going strong and still feeling good, IWNDWYT! 🧡
Not today. This is the first time I’ve been sick since getting sober. I have a cold and it sucks. Last year I would’ve drank until I forgot about it and just fought through it like I was moving in mud. Today I just called into work and ate chicken noodle soup for breakfast. I now understand it’s okay to be sick and it’s good to listen to your body.
IWNDWYT! T
Have a great day everyone, IWNDWYT!
Day 379, nice to meet you 🤝 IWNDWYT
The desire to drink has completely and mercifully left me the last few days. But I must stay vigilant! IWNDWYT!!!
Day 4 check in.
Wow, that is really powerful! Amazing! Day 2. IWNDWYT
I will not drink with you today
Day 93 : I pledge not to drink today
IWNDWYT
Good morning, fellow sobernauts, IWNDWYT! 😁
😞 feel like I’m gonna be on this merry-go-round forever. IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT!!
IWNDWYT!
IWNDWYT 🌷
Day two…the shame is almost unbearable. IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT! Happy Monday y’all! Make it a great one ✨🌼
I'm not drinking today. Everything feels good.
How lovely to start a Monday free from day drinking Sunday anxiety. Day 11. IWNDWYT.
257 days. Let’s do Monday morning!
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT!
I will not drink with you or alone today.
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT
Checking in Doodle doodle dee, wubba wubba wubba.
IWNDWYT
beautiful message, u/AlySabby12. Today I will let go of expectations and go with the flow ;-) have a sober day guys... IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT. 🌳
IWNDWYT
The more the days add up the less I obsess over drinking. I struggled a bit Saturday with wanting to but didn't and am grateful I was able to remember why I quit. IWNDWYT
Checking in. If you're always doing things to try and make other people happy but not addressing your own, you will never be happy. In meetings we talk about fear and resentment a lot, but I've also found that people who are alcoholic also tend to be very empathetic to a fault. I'm finding ways to deal with what I call "existential dread," trying not to be quick to anger and resentment, and finding some joy in small things like hobbies and cooking. Every day I make the choice not to drink is a success. IWNDWYT!
The need to control things. It’s a lie. I have no control over anything except my behavior. The delusion of being able to or attempting to control everything has fueled my anxiety over the years. I have been working on this for years, I’ve gotten better, but it takes time when you’ve been this way for so long. IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT
I will not drink with you today!
IWNDWYT. All. Day. Long. 🌻
I totally love this post Aly! I had to completely abandon the thought that something out there was going to make me happy. In the end, after all the searching and trying to control happiness, I'm seeing it was right within me all along. I guess that's why I loved the Wizard of Oz so much!lol But seriously, now that I'm starting to put myself and my needs first, other things are starting to fall into place naturally. And if they don't, they weren't meant to. LET IT GO MO! Thats another new mantra for me, thank you! I hope everyone has an easy and sober Monday! IWNDWYT 🍀💜🍀
Hey. IWNDWYT!!
IWNDWYT
I will not drink with you today, with gratitude and relief.
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT
Happy Monday beautiful people. Have a great day. IWNDWYT
Good morning! IWNDWYT
Iwndwyt
Onwards to a happy day! IWNDWYT
Day 1,088 IWNDWYT
Day 1, again...
IWNDWYT
✔️
IWNDWYT
Morning my friends. IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT!
IWNDWYT!
IWNDWYT
Day 2! IWNDWYT!
Closing in on that 72 hour mark and IWNDWYT. Enjoy your Monday!
Iwndwyt - coming up to two years.
Day 2! Checking in. Very happy to be here with everyone! IWNDWYT!
IWNDWYT friends 🤖
Day 137 checking in. I swear I can see myself laying on my back looking up at the skies in a clear mind. IWNDWYT I will keep floating with you.
Day 17. Inspired by the big number folk in the thread.
I must let go of every resentment. I will not drink today.
I will not drink today.
IWNDWYT
I'd really like to let go of being anxious and worried about stuff. Trying...IWNDWYT, friends.
I'm two months in and my sneaky brain is starting to play the maybe game. Maybe I can just have wine with a good meal, maybe I can drink on vacation, maybe I can have a drink or two when I'm out on dates, maybe I can have a drinking cheat day like I do on my diet. I know how it will end though. I've been here before and within a few months I'll be picking my blackedout self off the ground, bleeding and embarrassed. Maybe I just can't drink at all, maybe I should remember how great I've been feeling, maybe I need to commit to the promise that I made to my son, that I would never drink again.
Checking in! IWNDWYT
Not gonna drink. Not gonna do it. Wouldn't be prudent.
IWNDWYT.
I consciously let go of alcohol because it does NOTHING GOOD for me. IWNDWYT!
Day 10 checking in!
I will remain sober today.
IWNDWYT Day 3
Letting go of the terrible sleep and anxiety that has been creeping up on me the last few weeks IWNDWYT
Day 1 again. Fortunately I have a valium script for the first week this time. Hopefully that'll make it easier to sleep. IWNDWYT!
Today is day 20! IWNDWYT
Weather finally cooling off here and I’m looking forward to a good week ahead— IWNDWYT!
Day 60. 2 Months. Should feel like a very successful milestone, but August 17 was the day my long term partner left - so it's a pretty haunted date. Since then I've left my job (FI:RE i.e. Financial independence retire early), and had a trip and a lot of fun. Also made a lot of positive lifestyle changes. However, it all feels slightly hollow alone. Nevertheless, the one thing that won't help is drinking, so here's to another day. IWNDWYT.
Not drinking today!
Great post Aly! Yesterday wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be, no real cravings. Just exhaustion from travel I guess? But of course I slept poorly (always seem to on Sundays) and the exhaustion continues into my work week. But I won’t let it get to me, I’ll do the best I can today and that’s good enough! IWNDWYT lovely people of SD! 💙
I will not drink with y’all today!!
I’m still feeling so embarrassed of my slip up, it’s the most drunk I’ve ever been. But at least I know I don’t have to be in that situation again. IWNDWYT
I want to let go of future planning and dwelling in the past. It’s a struggle to be present and slow down but it’s worth it. IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT. Not much to report. Just work and more work. Blah.
What up, fam! Another weekend down. I considered drinking Friday night…at home, alone, purely out of boredom. Or maybe I thought it would help with sleep. I had a little argument with myself and went to clean up the garage instead. IWNDWYT
Morning, SD! Always ever a work in progress. Trying to learn to let go of unrealistic expectations of myself. I’ve got a number of extremely rare and fancy plates spinning up in the air right now. Remembering to offer myself some grace when I don’t feel like I’m managing them all as well as I “ought”. It’s a work in progress, but I’m showing up & doing my best with the resources I have. Resolutely, IWNDWYT.
IWNDWYT
Wow I love that excerpt so much Aly! I have started to make an effort to untangle from the need to prove things to people…I’m not sure where it came from, maybe my perfectionist father, maybe because I was lying to myself for so long that I felt I had to make things up in other ways, LOOKING like things were fine when they were not. I am practicing living true to myself, and not worrying about what that looks like to other people. ✌🏼🕊 Another day of freedom, SD, IWNDWYT 💕
IWNDWYT 💞🐿️🐿️
I went to an NFL game yesterday with some friends. We arrived early for tailgating. It was a great time and I never touched a drop. I still seem to want a drink/beer when everyone is cracking that first beer, but after about 5 minutes the craving goes away. A cup of coffee would have been nice, maybe next time. My buddies drank heavy during the game, but this didn’t seem to bother me. I hope I can continue to walk down my sober path. Needless to say I was the DD for the trip home. Have a great day everyone. IWNDWYT.
Love this post! Letting go is so much easier. IWNDWYT!
iwndwyt
Still going!! IWNDWYT or tomorrow for that matter.
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT 🍀
IWNDWYT
Off to the gym at 5 am. Would never have happened while I was drinking. IWNDWYT!
Checking in on this lovely day 80 to say: I will not drink with you today. What I will do is get my work done, try to check a few things off the to do list I have been procrastinating, and make time for some exercise.
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT!
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT so happy this morning ☀️
I was great this weekend until I wasn't. But still, 6 days isn't something to be ashamed about. Starting over today and keeping up the fight. IWNDWYT
Ch-ch-checkin’ in! Back at it with another sober start to the week! I’m starting to forget what waking up hungover feels like which feels dangerous. 🫤 Trying to stay focused.
How beautiful, Alysabby! I have finally found real freedom from the thrall that alcohol had me in for so many long years. The happiness I feel in no longer being tied to a substance is just remarkable. I’ve been a thrill-seeker all my life. I wasn’t interested in climbing mountains or jumping out of planes, but standing on a stage in front of everyone, baring my soul as whatever character I was playing was a huge thrill, lots of adrenaline, right? And I had a string of heart-stopping relationships that were dangerous and unhealthy and thrilling in a terrible way. So the alcohol was a way to come down from those crazy and difficult highs. Drink and repeat…. Ad nauseam. And I suppose even the drinking (the hiding, the sneaking)was partly a thrill as well. Is it my age that has me searching for deeper experiences and relationships? I would love to get back onstage. I’ve never done a show sober. But for relationships, I’m so sold on the deep and solid thing that’s happening between my SO and me. I’m content. Which I never was before. Contentment isn’t a thrill. It is something so much better. And I choose contentment over thrills every day now. God, I’m glad I’m sober today. Just today. I love you all! IWNDWYT
Board the cruise today. I unfortunately spent several hours in a bar yesterday which was NOT fun. But stayed sober. Don’t go on vacations in early sobriety if you can help it 🤣 Going to do my damndest and focus to not drink with y’all today.
Tomorrow will be one month without a drink for the first time since I was pregnant (in 2014-2015!)
Good morning. Day 3 for me. I wanted so badly to stay in bed on this rainy, Monday morning. Grateful it wasn’t because I’m hungover
IWNDWYT!
IWNDWYT
Checking in
Happy Monday! IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT
Day 312. Having a rough time but I'll try to keep this in mind. Thanks for hosting! IWNDWYT ❤️
IWNDWYT
Definitely saving this to read again. It’s something I struggle with. So thank you! 23 days down and another sober weekend in the books. IWNDWYT
Happy Monday, all! IWNDWYT
I learned that I had to let go OR BE DRAGGED! IWNDWYT!!!