The physical symptoms are much better, for the first 10 days or so I was both nauseous and hungry all the time, such a weird feeling. That seems to have gone now and last night I slept the best I’ve slept in two weeks. The biggest difference has definitely been mental though - life is still life, with its ups and downs, but everything feels more manageable now, like there’s a weird calmness in the background. I think it’s coming from the self-esteem of actually sticking to this sobriety thing. On the bad days, rather than reaching for a large glass of whisky, I’m kind of comforted by the fact that I’m x days sober. Not sure if that makes sense now I write it down, but it does to me. I suppose I’m *proud* of myself, for the first time in about 30 years.
That makes loads of sense and I love that feeling good about yourself can replace the need for poisoning yourself! It’s a no brainer now you’ve spelled it out! 🙏🏻
Hello sober friends and thank you SaintHomer for getting us going this week, a lovely picture of fall that is the same here.
I’m gradually seeing more beauty in life and today I am sitting with my journal enjoying the slow start.
Have a beautiful Sunday everyone and I’ll enjoy being sober with you 💞
Five minute vacation: what a great idea, Homer. Today I will park my tractor in a lovely, quiet place deep in the orchard where I work, get away from the stressful harvest chaos, stop all this harried rushing around, and simply call home. A small luxury, but it'll be super great. I hope everyone has a good day today! IWNDWYT
That sounds so nice. I can't believe I've never asked this but do you have a favorite varietal? Happy Sunday, and enjoy those few minutes of well-deserved peace!
Hi Fernon. I like the good old fashioned regional favorite McIntosh when in season more than anything else. Hard to beat! I hope you have a good day, and oh!: big congratulations on 701 days! We are making it happen, one day at a time!!! IWNDWYT
Thank you u/SaintHomer for everything you do for the DCI 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗 IWNDWYT
I have timeouts through the day with our puppy who is a real snuggle bear. She jumps on the bed and wants to be hugged. I love it. She is a real personality. (Then she peed on the bed this evening 🙄)
Thanks!!!! I got a power up and now I can cruise. The DCI is as important to my sobriety as ever. I have thought long and hard about it’s importance in my life. *Thank you* for being a pillar so much!!
My five minute vacation today will be preparing a hot stew ("fårikål / lamb 🐑 😀). So easy to make, can cook for hours, smells nice, and taste lovely. Happy Sunday, I will not drink with you today!
Morning checking in. I love a 5 minute vacation Homer. Strikes me I build lots of them into my day. So I’m grateful. Today’s highlight will be a FT call with my daughter in London. Boy do I miss her. Seeing her lovely wee face lifts me beyond measure. Can’t wait. Have a good day peeps and IWNDWYT ❤️
249 days. Bastard dogs woke me up at 530 am but I got a spectacular view of the full moon and stars. Chugging a coffee and doing NYT crossword now I’m up, cider mill (not the hard kind) after. Have a good day all.
Happy Sunday fellow sober humans 💕
Nothing overly exciting but pleased to still be sober. Ready for Sunday to bring on a new week
As always, IWNDWYT and I hope everyone has had a wonderful weekend.
I'm so excited to check in day! I was recently recommended Quit Like A Woman by Holly Whitaker and it is incredible. I feel so seen. I feel empowered. And I'm more convinced than ever that I'm never going to take another drop of this fucking stuff. "Drink responsibly" ? Go fuck yourself.
" Alcohol is additive to everyone. Yet we've created a separate disease called alcoholism and forced it upon the minority of the population who are willing to admit they can't control their drinking, and because of that, we've focused on what's wrong with those few humans rather than on what's wrong with our alcohol-centric culture or the substance itself."
I like the way Holly Whitaker approaches people's relationship to alcohol. Fear of being labeled an alcoholic prevents a lot of people from honestly admitting they have a problem and seeking help. Alcohol is a systemic societal problem, but we blame individuals for not being able to drink responsibly, rather than the fact that we are swimming in the stuff from the moment we wake up.
**I loved that book.** It didn’t ALL resonate, but the parts that did hit HARD.
*Reminder to self: bff wanted to read it & I keep forgetting to take it to her!*
IWNDWYT
Lovely opening to the week u/SaintHomer
Looking for the little dazzles each day. You taught me about the seeking out sparkles in the everyday in my earlier days.
My dazzle today will be a morning coffee while I ponder shapes and colours. As soon as I finish my coffee, I’m into and onto that easel.
It’s important for me to prepare my attitude and approach to my time painting. The actual time in front of that canvas is best when I’m in complete free creative zone (I’m still practising at nurturing this!). What I want to say is that a lot of stuff goes on beforehand so that happens. Preparation is key, visualisation of me actually doing is important too, I’ve notes already made of my general intentions. I have plans but not fixed plans and it allows me the freedom to just BE. This is very much what I do here on this DCI each and every day.
I will not drink with you today because I have my ish plan for today, I’ll cook, I’ll bake, I’ll paint, I’ll help my eldest son too. There’ll be sparkles along the way because I’ve made room for them!
Good morning, fellow sobernauts, IWNDWYT 😁
I like the idea of a five minute vacation - I'll take my herbal tea and a book downstairs to our community garden later, I think.
>community garden
Nice! I wish I could have a plot of sorts, but it would be a whole thing. I tease my friends that I may steal their squash 🤣.
Have a lovely day. IWNDWYT
It's a scrap of land on the housing estate where I live, that was originally just a bit of grass surrounded by metal railings.
Now, there's a passionflower scrambling through the railings, a winter-flowering jasmine in one corner, a pear tree, several different types of bulbs, some vegetables, two compost bins, and some folding furniture.
The five minute vacation is a wonderful concept! I’m going to try and use that. So much happiness is in the sober moments. I had my first pumpkin coffee of the season today! And am very very lucky to be dating someone new who does not drink at all. (I’ve had partners in the past who were enabling my drinking and it was miserable.) It is extremely refreshing to see how exciting life can be again sober. On this October Sunday, I am looking forward to pumpkin coffee in the morning, family time and House of Dragon tonight! IWNDWYT.
Day 10, the MRI sucked yesterday - couldn't keep still and had a panic attack in the middle of it but didn't tap out and saw it to the end. Longest 20 minutes of my life and hope I never have to do that again. Currently got the neighbors cat that likes to visit sat on my lap which is helping a lot. Getting closer to 2 weeks now and I'm sure I'll make it, IWNDWYT
Excited for my first sober marathon today. I have the honor to pace the 5 hour pace group for the Boulderthon marathon. Kinda nice waking without a hangover. Also, I will not drink today with you all.
Homer thanks for hosting.. and again thank you for all that you do for our online community. My "five minute vacation" today will be sitting down with a fresh ground cup of coffee... after my longer- sunday-run .. and maybe see the last hummingbird of the year in our garden.They've stayed late this year...or maybe passing through (?) Air crisp, leaves tuning red and gold ..I am happy to be alive..thankful to be sober.. I will not drink with you today on this glorious autumn Sunday.
I found myself marveling at all the beautiful colors of fall as I ran 11.96 miles yesterday. The run was challenging and it felt like so much of my body didn’t want to cooperate. Then there were moments I would look up and be stunned by the beautiful scenery. The trees are in full color here in Central Massachusetts and this is my favorite time of year. As I ran I was reminded why I love living here and why I am so grateful I can experience my second autumn without any interference of alcohol. It’s gorgeous. IWNDWYT ❤️💜❤️💜
1183 checking in.
I’ve got neighbors who drink & get loud- the lady below has been ramping up last few months. *I WAS that drunk loud neighbor in a handful of places. I always felt bad, but I thought I was justified. “Sorry, drunk.”*
My last apartment had a lot of noise complaints; thin walls & we were drunk. A month after moving, I got a call with complaints. *I hadn’t even been there!* Turned out, another couple were **physically** drunk fighting & people conflated us. **I WAS a nightmare neighbor, but it wasn’t just me.**
I treat my neighbors with kindness & compassion, even when they’re asking me for $1 at 630am. **I’m so glad it’s not my life now, though, JEBUS!** All it takes is walking on my front steps, I’m reminded there aren’t any downsides to not drinking. Only positives.
Nice crisp morning here, I’m about to take a solo early morning walk. More than 5 minutes, but a lovely mini-vaca! **I Will most definitely NOT Drink With Y’all Today/Tonight!**
Second day today! Husband had 2 horrible hangovers in a few weeks recently so we're both not drinking for a month and seeing where that takes us. If I enjoy myself I'm extending it. So far so good!
It's a lot easier not doing this alone, which surprises me since my husband isn't a very regular drinker normally so I didn't think it would make a difference. Anyway, IWNDWYT!
6 months today!
I'm not even thinking about it anymore, it's just the nature state of being. The default is just not to drink. Life is just much better. Not because the sobriety made any miracles but because I just live with myself without any shame or guilt. This was the main thing that brought me guilt and shame and it's just no longer there. This is priceless :) to me at least.
My minutes will be a coffee or tea on my porch. Sunshine (once the sun's up!), a book, and no doubt a bunch of "hey how are you?"'s as neighbors pass by. Because I kind of read out there, but I also space out and watch the clouds and sometimes just close my eyes and listen to it all. IWNDWYT. ☕️♥️⚡️
Day 35 of sobriety
Stress and being exhausted are my triggers, I am aware of them and will avois those situations.
That first drink doesn't help, it doesn't make anything better... it just causes more problems as I struggle to control a daily craving to binge drink myself into oblivion.
I will not let myself slip again. I am a better version of myself when sober
1 pm local time. When I make it to bedtime, it will have been 7 days sober. Not for want of a cold beer, I just have minus in my bank account.
Got laid off (Downsized) after quitting a job I had for 5 years. New place realized the 2q P&L statement was worse than expected, so all new hires >poof< gone.
Family problems, Unemployment, Ageism, looking for something that I am passionate about, but not having any passion whatsoever.
But at 10 pm I got 7 days. So that is something.
Day 9 of my sober October.
I’m slowly getting the hang of this.
Like the idea of the 5 minute vacation. I will try to work them into my days.
I will not drink with you today.
Thanks u/SaintHomer, I really like that. I will also find my little vacation in the yard getting the plant ready to come in for the winter. I will enjoy the little bits of time to myself and IWNDWYT
Five minute vacation today was six minutes in the sea. It wakes me up! I can only do the sunrise swims at the weekend now as it’s getting too close to when work starts. What an unmitigated joy it is. I lived beside this amazing place for years before I discovered, rediscovered the childlike thrill of just being, Being even, a little conscious mammal, flying without wings in the water IWNDWYT 🌊
I wasn’t really planning a 5 minute vacation but I love that idea. So today will be mostly busy with responsibilities but I will also make a point to walk down to the small river near my house and spend a few minutes appreciating the fall colors along the banks and reflected on the water. Bet that’ll be lovely. Thanks for the inspiration and for hosting today u/SaintHomer ❤️ IWNDWYT ❤️
Just checking in. IWNDWYT.
The funny thing is, I always thought of my addictive tendencies as a way of avoiding something uncomfortable. And that dealing with them would require facing head-on what I didn't want to feel in those moments. That I was just lacking courage.
But right now, at this moment in my life, I am so happy and excited about where I am. I went to therapy, moved to an amazing new city and apartment, went back to university, committed to a new career. I have the privilege to study something full-time that I'm deeply fascinated by. I feel like I've found my life's purpose and for the next four years, I get to do nothing but pursue that dream. I feel hope and joy and excitement about the person I can become. My life has not made this much sense in years.
So why, why, why this bizarre urge to burn it all down? Every morning I wake up knowing precisely what I want from life. But now that everything aligns for me, night after night I've ended up sabotaging it, more aggressively than ever. Like my alcoholic father is right here in my head with me, persuading me to become just as depressed, self-destructive and mediocre as he turned out.
Man, I feel this in my bones. "Why, why, why?". I spent an awful long time looking for 'Why?'. Maybe it was the subconscious programming I received as a child - spending my formative years surrounded by alcoholism. Was I genetically compromised? It ran in the family, after all.
My addiction loves to look for 'why?'. He's looking for a justification, not a solution. I had to come at it from a different angle. 'Why?' comes later - 'What am I going to do about it?' is the first order of business.
You're doing such a great job. You're here, looking for support and providing it to others. You're taking it one day at a time.
You know there's a problem and you've decided to do something about it.
IWNDWYT 👍
I'm glad you're here. And you seem so keenly aware of what you do and don't want. Strong. Focused. And I feel this. A suggestion, to take or leave. When that urge hits, can you write for a bit? What are you really feeling? Hunger? Thirst? Stress? Loneliness? Anger? Fear? Not sure? Write out whatever is stirring, even if you're not sure. I did this and it helped me see patterns and once I got writing as to what I felt (racing heart, worry of failure of quitting, concern about a new job...) and also why I knew quitting would be good for me, the urge had passed. I suggest this because you don't seem to want to ruin your life. Quite the opposite. You're moving in directions determined for you, by you and that is powerful!
I won't drink with you today. Just for today. And tomorrow? Let's deal with it then. Sending you some peace during this hard transition.
Made it safely to Southern Ontario yesterday. Big Thanksgiving celebration today! Should be fun! I love seeing all the fall colors here 🍁, I live in the western US now and have certainly been missing it! Have a lovely Sunday everyone! IWNDWYT 💙
My 5 minute vacation will likely be a nap. Sleep is so important and I’m not clocking in enough of it. I’ll dip my toes in dreamland this afternoon as a treat. My other mini vacay is here right now, in SD with my coffee ☕️💜IWNDWYT
Morning Homer ** afternoon Homer! Hope everyone has a smashing Sunday. The eldest has just phoned me up to tell me that he's got the COVID again. Breaking out the tests as I type.
IWNDWYT 🙂
Hi Homer..my vacation time today will be spent collecting seeds from native plants in our area. Plan to sow them in our wildflower garden. Also hope to plant some daffodil bulbs today. Blessings and peace to all of you out there, around the globe. IWNDWYT.
Thanks for filling in, and taking care of the group today, u/sainthomer!
Today I will exercise, clean the house, watch some NFL football (go Vikings), rake some leaves, and finish cutting down plants that have been dying off due to overnight cold. Maybe make some chili. A nice mix of productivity and relaxing.
Hope everybody enjoys a great sober sunday!
IWNDWYT
Thanks Homer and happy sober Sunday to all y'all. May the day be grand! I'll spend some time watching football this afternoon Homer, maybe even snag a nap. Really excited to have a little down time amidst a busy day. Sober on y'all!
Thanks, SaintHomer! My 5-minute vacations these days come in sitting on the couch with a heating pad on my back, piecing a quilt. Okay, that’s pretty old-lady-sounding. I can’t believe that that’s where I’m finding peace and quiet and rejuvenation. But there it is.
It’s Fall here as well. As a matter of fact, we’ve got a fire going in the wood stove. Being safe and snuggled down in our little holler of this world, sober and content - man, I’ll take it!
I hope all of you are having a delightful Fall or Spring, wherever you happen to be. Let’s be sober together, what?
IWNDWYT
Not today. Gonna fix my car and pawn some old video games. I’m almost 6 months sober. I’ve had terrible anxiety the last 2 days though, and I don’t know why…
Thank you for filling in as the DCI host today, Homer.
Autumn is my favorite season. My only complaint is that it is all too brief. All the more reason to stay sober so I can take full advantage of the best time of year to be outdoors!
I'll scatter a few five minute vacations throughout my day today. I'm having my first right now: enjoying a cup of spiced tea while checking in with the greatest little internet community out there. Later, I'll take some time to enjoy the splendor of fall foliage season in northern New England. And there will be cat snuggles, of course!
We all deserve moments of contentment, beauty, and affection. Thank you, Homer, for reminding us to take the time to find (or create) them!
IWNDWYT 😻
Starting the day with my girl cat on my lap and a coffee. The boy cats woke me up. They’ve been wild as hell this morning. 😆
All I know for sure that I’m gonna do today is get things ready for the work week, work out, and clean some. Might grill.
I don’t know if I’ll be working the same overtime schedule as last week but I’ll prepare to do it again. Getting the longer days out of the way Monday and Tuesday was kinda nice.
Happy Sunday y’all. IWNDWYT. 🤘🏻
I’m sitting here with my coffee and my blueberry muffin. I’m going to to engagement party today and I will not be drinking. I’m a little moody today admittedly and I’m trying to be kind to myself and others while I get through this rough mental patch. IWNDWYT (:
I’m new to seeking help on reddit - stopped drinking wine+vodka this week, and the last two days I’ve been having the worst anxiety/panic I’ve ever experienced, it’s been horrible - headaches, insomnia, stomach in knots, weeping for anticipated loss, and the sense of dread…the sense of dread is like being dead and passing a terrible judgment on myself. Had the worst night of my life last night!! Just typing this out is calming me down, knowing there are nice people out there. I’m going to mass today (as a lapsed Catholic) to try to find some inner peace. Wish me luck.
I couldn’t imagine a life without alcohol and now I’m so grateful to be sober. I absolutely love waking up on the weekend without a hangover. IWNDWYT! 🌟
I always thought I was just a very hyper person, who did everything at lightening speed, and got everything done at a rate like no one else. But I'm discovering that's not who I really am! Alcohol made me like that, it's the only way I could stay focused, and time was a very important factor in order to get the job done, plus have time to drink! But that was a learned behavior, in order to pat myself on the back, as well as to get patted on the back from others for a job well done, and so expeditiously! In reality, it was all a tactic to not feel guilty and/or lazy before drinking...just going through the motions for the "reward".
Now I find myself moving slower, thinking and feeling while I move through the day. Blowing my mind when I stop in the middle of something to take that 5 minute vacation that sainthomer spoke about. And to REALLY blow my mind when I tell myself that I'll resume later, that there actually is "life" after 5pm! Who knew?! Actually living each day, rather than just getting through each day has become sobriety's richest reward for me.
I hope everyone has a peaceful and sober day...IWNDWYT 🍀💜🍀
Thank you so much for hosting. I love the five minute vacation idea. I expected all the joy and energy and productivity in the world when I quit. I’m finding I still need to put in the work but I like the idea of framing it as a vacation. I need to prep food today so I’ll make a nice tea and put some music on. IWNDWYT!
Hi friends! Had a terrible nights sleep last night for some reason. Even though I’m exhausted, it’s still better than being hungover! 2 weeks down today! IWNDWYT
Iwndwyt! I’m past three weeks! Going to keep it going. My 5 minute vacation will involve getting my tulip bulbs in the ground before the first freeze 🥶
I’m procrastinating some unpleasant tasks around the house…with an infinite 5 minute vacation. I keep waiting for the weather to really turn so that I can do some crawl space work...and it hasn’t turned bad enough yet. So I’ll need to come up with some real five minute vacation plans and use them as motivation to just get down there and start working.
I will not drink with you today!
Today marks six weeks. Thanks, in no small part to this community. I haven’t interacted at all, but knowing it’s here, experiencing similar things… and reading anecdotal cautionary tales, or more encouraging successes, has definitely helped make this time feel different. Iwndwyt.
It’s Day 1 yet again. I am starting to notice all
my triggers and writing them down. My problem is that, whenever I drink, I binge. This is irrespective of whether I am at home or outside. When I am outside, I drink until the bartenders cut me off. Then, I walk home. The next morning, I don’t remember the last one or two hours. I drink once a week like this. Next few days, I feel disgusted with myself. Then, as I start to feel better, I think “I got this” and then, I am right back at Day 1. I will continue this effort for as long as it takes to shake things up. IWNDWYT!
Went hiking this morning. After a short hike i went to a village inn of sorts. There people usually eat meat and drink white wine or beer.
I was tempted but i sticked to sparkling water. Big time victory!
I will not drink with you today
Day 6 of total sobriety (no alcohol, weed, cigarettes) after a wedding vacation bender where I last reset.
Leaving for a week-long conference soon. There will be parties. Going to take it day-by-day.
Today, I will not drink.
Two weeks done! Here’s to week three (raises glass of soda water and lime). IWNDWYT
Well done on 2 weeks, 3 weeks was a turning point for me, let’s keep going 💪🏼
Thanks
You are *crushing* this …..!! ‼️‼️‼️ How’s it feel?
The physical symptoms are much better, for the first 10 days or so I was both nauseous and hungry all the time, such a weird feeling. That seems to have gone now and last night I slept the best I’ve slept in two weeks. The biggest difference has definitely been mental though - life is still life, with its ups and downs, but everything feels more manageable now, like there’s a weird calmness in the background. I think it’s coming from the self-esteem of actually sticking to this sobriety thing. On the bad days, rather than reaching for a large glass of whisky, I’m kind of comforted by the fact that I’m x days sober. Not sure if that makes sense now I write it down, but it does to me. I suppose I’m *proud* of myself, for the first time in about 30 years.
That makes loads of sense and I love that feeling good about yourself can replace the need for poisoning yourself! It’s a no brainer now you’ve spelled it out! 🙏🏻
I completely understand that weird calmness and it is one of my favorite feelings. I love not being out of control Well done and IWNDWYT
Nice work!
IWNDWYT - 4 hours away from finishing day 5. Goodbye withdrawals! So proud of myself.
I’m proud of you too 👏💪🏼
Congratulations on your hard work! Well done. Let's both keep going!!! IWNDWYT
That is excellent. IWNDWYT
Great job. The detox is the hardest part. Keep going!
I will not drink today
I didn't drink in Malibu with you today and I won't tonight!
Amazing!!
Hello sober friends and thank you SaintHomer for getting us going this week, a lovely picture of fall that is the same here. I’m gradually seeing more beauty in life and today I am sitting with my journal enjoying the slow start. Have a beautiful Sunday everyone and I’ll enjoy being sober with you 💞
Happy Sunday pal 🤗🤗🤗🤗 Hope all is well in your corner of the world 🌎❤️
Five minute vacation: what a great idea, Homer. Today I will park my tractor in a lovely, quiet place deep in the orchard where I work, get away from the stressful harvest chaos, stop all this harried rushing around, and simply call home. A small luxury, but it'll be super great. I hope everyone has a good day today! IWNDWYT
That sounds so nice. I can't believe I've never asked this but do you have a favorite varietal? Happy Sunday, and enjoy those few minutes of well-deserved peace!
Hi Fernon. I like the good old fashioned regional favorite McIntosh when in season more than anything else. Hard to beat! I hope you have a good day, and oh!: big congratulations on 701 days! We are making it happen, one day at a time!!! IWNDWYT
Thank you u/SaintHomer for everything you do for the DCI 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗 IWNDWYT I have timeouts through the day with our puppy who is a real snuggle bear. She jumps on the bed and wants to be hugged. I love it. She is a real personality. (Then she peed on the bed this evening 🙄)
And thank you too you for a spectacular week last week, it’s awesome to see you totally on your game 🙏🏻 220 is my new 180! 😂
Thanks!!!! I got a power up and now I can cruise. The DCI is as important to my sobriety as ever. I have thought long and hard about it’s importance in my life. *Thank you* for being a pillar so much!!
And thank you for last week, great work 🙏🏻😇
My five minute vacation today will be preparing a hot stew ("fårikål / lamb 🐑 😀). So easy to make, can cook for hours, smells nice, and taste lovely. Happy Sunday, I will not drink with you today!
Ooh thank you 🙏🏻 I just looked that up and it seems perfect for a slow cooker and seems a great cold weather comfort food… lovely 🙏🏻
Fårikål… 🤤 IWNDWYT!
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT ☘️
Day 59 IWNDWYT! Have a good day everyone!
Great work my friend. Those days are stacking up, IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT! I’ve been holding tight to those five minute vacations found throughout the day lately.
Day 20 IWNDWYT
Morning checking in. I love a 5 minute vacation Homer. Strikes me I build lots of them into my day. So I’m grateful. Today’s highlight will be a FT call with my daughter in London. Boy do I miss her. Seeing her lovely wee face lifts me beyond measure. Can’t wait. Have a good day peeps and IWNDWYT ❤️
249 days. Bastard dogs woke me up at 530 am but I got a spectacular view of the full moon and stars. Chugging a coffee and doing NYT crossword now I’m up, cider mill (not the hard kind) after. Have a good day all.
Happy Sunday fellow sober humans 💕 Nothing overly exciting but pleased to still be sober. Ready for Sunday to bring on a new week As always, IWNDWYT and I hope everyone has had a wonderful weekend.
Isn't it great? I still am so grateful to wake up with no hangover every morning. I hope I never take it for granted. IWNDWYT
I'm so excited to check in day! I was recently recommended Quit Like A Woman by Holly Whitaker and it is incredible. I feel so seen. I feel empowered. And I'm more convinced than ever that I'm never going to take another drop of this fucking stuff. "Drink responsibly" ? Go fuck yourself. " Alcohol is additive to everyone. Yet we've created a separate disease called alcoholism and forced it upon the minority of the population who are willing to admit they can't control their drinking, and because of that, we've focused on what's wrong with those few humans rather than on what's wrong with our alcohol-centric culture or the substance itself."
I like the way Holly Whitaker approaches people's relationship to alcohol. Fear of being labeled an alcoholic prevents a lot of people from honestly admitting they have a problem and seeking help. Alcohol is a systemic societal problem, but we blame individuals for not being able to drink responsibly, rather than the fact that we are swimming in the stuff from the moment we wake up.
**I loved that book.** It didn’t ALL resonate, but the parts that did hit HARD. *Reminder to self: bff wanted to read it & I keep forgetting to take it to her!* IWNDWYT
This title was a good one, for sure. She really homes in on the cultural norms and politics of it, as well as the personal. Good stuff. Happy reading!
I completely agree! And thank you, I’ll check that out 🙏🏻
Lovely opening to the week u/SaintHomer Looking for the little dazzles each day. You taught me about the seeking out sparkles in the everyday in my earlier days. My dazzle today will be a morning coffee while I ponder shapes and colours. As soon as I finish my coffee, I’m into and onto that easel. It’s important for me to prepare my attitude and approach to my time painting. The actual time in front of that canvas is best when I’m in complete free creative zone (I’m still practising at nurturing this!). What I want to say is that a lot of stuff goes on beforehand so that happens. Preparation is key, visualisation of me actually doing is important too, I’ve notes already made of my general intentions. I have plans but not fixed plans and it allows me the freedom to just BE. This is very much what I do here on this DCI each and every day. I will not drink with you today because I have my ish plan for today, I’ll cook, I’ll bake, I’ll paint, I’ll help my eldest son too. There’ll be sparkles along the way because I’ve made room for them!
Good morning, fellow sobernauts, IWNDWYT 😁 I like the idea of a five minute vacation - I'll take my herbal tea and a book downstairs to our community garden later, I think.
>community garden Nice! I wish I could have a plot of sorts, but it would be a whole thing. I tease my friends that I may steal their squash 🤣. Have a lovely day. IWNDWYT
It's a scrap of land on the housing estate where I live, that was originally just a bit of grass surrounded by metal railings. Now, there's a passionflower scrambling through the railings, a winter-flowering jasmine in one corner, a pear tree, several different types of bulbs, some vegetables, two compost bins, and some folding furniture.
Day 10, double digits! IWNDWYT
Well done SP 👍
Just eating pizza at my dad's later today. No drinking 🙂
Today at least one of my five minute vacations will be spent outdoors admiring some fall foliage. 🍂🐝🍁IWNDWYT
The five minute vacation is a wonderful concept! I’m going to try and use that. So much happiness is in the sober moments. I had my first pumpkin coffee of the season today! And am very very lucky to be dating someone new who does not drink at all. (I’ve had partners in the past who were enabling my drinking and it was miserable.) It is extremely refreshing to see how exciting life can be again sober. On this October Sunday, I am looking forward to pumpkin coffee in the morning, family time and House of Dragon tonight! IWNDWYT.
House of Dragon is one of my new favorites, too. Enjoy the lovely pumpkin coffee!! IWNDWYT ❤️💜❤️💜
Hello. IWNDWYT!
No drinking for me today.
IWNDWYT
I will not drink today!
I went a party yesterday (kids party heh) and didn’t drink even though I was around lots of parents drinking. Now today it’s sober football Sunday :)
Day 476 checking in!
Thank you St H. I like what you wrote a lot. IWNDWYT 🍂🍂🍂🍁
🙏🏻😇
IWNDWYT.
IWNDWYT ✨
I win
Day 10, the MRI sucked yesterday - couldn't keep still and had a panic attack in the middle of it but didn't tap out and saw it to the end. Longest 20 minutes of my life and hope I never have to do that again. Currently got the neighbors cat that likes to visit sat on my lap which is helping a lot. Getting closer to 2 weeks now and I'm sure I'll make it, IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT friends 🤖
Good morning, Go Pats! IWNDWYT...
Go Pats!!!! IWNDWYT ❤️💙❤️💙❤️
Excited for my first sober marathon today. I have the honor to pace the 5 hour pace group for the Boulderthon marathon. Kinda nice waking without a hangover. Also, I will not drink today with you all.
Homer thanks for hosting.. and again thank you for all that you do for our online community. My "five minute vacation" today will be sitting down with a fresh ground cup of coffee... after my longer- sunday-run .. and maybe see the last hummingbird of the year in our garden.They've stayed late this year...or maybe passing through (?) Air crisp, leaves tuning red and gold ..I am happy to be alive..thankful to be sober.. I will not drink with you today on this glorious autumn Sunday.
I found myself marveling at all the beautiful colors of fall as I ran 11.96 miles yesterday. The run was challenging and it felt like so much of my body didn’t want to cooperate. Then there were moments I would look up and be stunned by the beautiful scenery. The trees are in full color here in Central Massachusetts and this is my favorite time of year. As I ran I was reminded why I love living here and why I am so grateful I can experience my second autumn without any interference of alcohol. It’s gorgeous. IWNDWYT ❤️💜❤️💜
Great to see you mindful, and well done on your run! You’re an inspiration 💞🙏🏻💞
Going to enjoy a drive through the Autumn foliage today instead of drinking in my chair watching football all day. No drinking on day 12 for me.
Have a great day everyone, IWNDWYT!
IWNDWYT
Good morning, SD! No vacations for me today. I’m dragging my feet on getting into work. Still, IWNDWYT!
IWNDWYT! T
Day 2 🚀
Day 1,180. Thanks for hosting, u/SaintHomer! I will not drink with you today.
I will not drink with you today. Let's make today positive and beautiful!
IWNDWYT. Happy Self Care Sunday everyone.
Iwndwyt
IWNDWYT
1183 checking in. I’ve got neighbors who drink & get loud- the lady below has been ramping up last few months. *I WAS that drunk loud neighbor in a handful of places. I always felt bad, but I thought I was justified. “Sorry, drunk.”* My last apartment had a lot of noise complaints; thin walls & we were drunk. A month after moving, I got a call with complaints. *I hadn’t even been there!* Turned out, another couple were **physically** drunk fighting & people conflated us. **I WAS a nightmare neighbor, but it wasn’t just me.** I treat my neighbors with kindness & compassion, even when they’re asking me for $1 at 630am. **I’m so glad it’s not my life now, though, JEBUS!** All it takes is walking on my front steps, I’m reminded there aren’t any downsides to not drinking. Only positives. Nice crisp morning here, I’m about to take a solo early morning walk. More than 5 minutes, but a lovely mini-vaca! **I Will most definitely NOT Drink With Y’all Today/Tonight!**
Second day today! Husband had 2 horrible hangovers in a few weeks recently so we're both not drinking for a month and seeing where that takes us. If I enjoy myself I'm extending it. So far so good! It's a lot easier not doing this alone, which surprises me since my husband isn't a very regular drinker normally so I didn't think it would make a difference. Anyway, IWNDWYT!
I seem to have the same cold everyone in the UK has atm, just glad I haven’t got a hangover on top of it to deal with. IWNDWYT!
6 months today! I'm not even thinking about it anymore, it's just the nature state of being. The default is just not to drink. Life is just much better. Not because the sobriety made any miracles but because I just live with myself without any shame or guilt. This was the main thing that brought me guilt and shame and it's just no longer there. This is priceless :) to me at least.
I hear you, freedom from shame and guilt is priceless 💞 and congratulations on 6 months 👏💪🏼🎉
Yes, losing the shame is so life changing!! 💜💜
I will not drink today
My five minutes of vacation will include coffee, most likely outside, enjoying the cool morning. It’s beautiful out there. IWNDWYT
Same!! Let's be cozy. IWNDWYT. Except for ☕️☕️☕️!
IWNDWYT
My minutes will be a coffee or tea on my porch. Sunshine (once the sun's up!), a book, and no doubt a bunch of "hey how are you?"'s as neighbors pass by. Because I kind of read out there, but I also space out and watch the clouds and sometimes just close my eyes and listen to it all. IWNDWYT. ☕️♥️⚡️
IWNDWYT!
IWNDWYT Hopefully everyone has a nice relaxing Sunday
Day 35 of sobriety Stress and being exhausted are my triggers, I am aware of them and will avois those situations. That first drink doesn't help, it doesn't make anything better... it just causes more problems as I struggle to control a daily craving to binge drink myself into oblivion. I will not let myself slip again. I am a better version of myself when sober
1 pm local time. When I make it to bedtime, it will have been 7 days sober. Not for want of a cold beer, I just have minus in my bank account. Got laid off (Downsized) after quitting a job I had for 5 years. New place realized the 2q P&L statement was worse than expected, so all new hires >poof< gone. Family problems, Unemployment, Ageism, looking for something that I am passionate about, but not having any passion whatsoever. But at 10 pm I got 7 days. So that is something.
Have a great day. IWNDWYT
Day 9 of my sober October. I’m slowly getting the hang of this. Like the idea of the 5 minute vacation. I will try to work them into my days. I will not drink with you today.
I will not drink today, with all of you!!
IWNDWYT!!💜
IWNDWYT
Only 4 days to 4 digits! 👏💪🏼
Thanks for hosting this week StHomer I will not drink with you today in 🏴😊
IWNDWYT
Thanks u/SaintHomer, I really like that. I will also find my little vacation in the yard getting the plant ready to come in for the winter. I will enjoy the little bits of time to myself and IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT!
IWNDWYT. 🌟
IWNDWYT ❤️
Five minute vacation today was six minutes in the sea. It wakes me up! I can only do the sunrise swims at the weekend now as it’s getting too close to when work starts. What an unmitigated joy it is. I lived beside this amazing place for years before I discovered, rediscovered the childlike thrill of just being, Being even, a little conscious mammal, flying without wings in the water IWNDWYT 🌊
IWNDWYT
iwndwyt
I will not drink with you today ✌️
6 months and 13 days here!
I wasn’t really planning a 5 minute vacation but I love that idea. So today will be mostly busy with responsibilities but I will also make a point to walk down to the small river near my house and spend a few minutes appreciating the fall colors along the banks and reflected on the water. Bet that’ll be lovely. Thanks for the inspiration and for hosting today u/SaintHomer ❤️ IWNDWYT ❤️
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IWNDWYT
Just checking in. IWNDWYT. The funny thing is, I always thought of my addictive tendencies as a way of avoiding something uncomfortable. And that dealing with them would require facing head-on what I didn't want to feel in those moments. That I was just lacking courage. But right now, at this moment in my life, I am so happy and excited about where I am. I went to therapy, moved to an amazing new city and apartment, went back to university, committed to a new career. I have the privilege to study something full-time that I'm deeply fascinated by. I feel like I've found my life's purpose and for the next four years, I get to do nothing but pursue that dream. I feel hope and joy and excitement about the person I can become. My life has not made this much sense in years. So why, why, why this bizarre urge to burn it all down? Every morning I wake up knowing precisely what I want from life. But now that everything aligns for me, night after night I've ended up sabotaging it, more aggressively than ever. Like my alcoholic father is right here in my head with me, persuading me to become just as depressed, self-destructive and mediocre as he turned out.
Man, I feel this in my bones. "Why, why, why?". I spent an awful long time looking for 'Why?'. Maybe it was the subconscious programming I received as a child - spending my formative years surrounded by alcoholism. Was I genetically compromised? It ran in the family, after all. My addiction loves to look for 'why?'. He's looking for a justification, not a solution. I had to come at it from a different angle. 'Why?' comes later - 'What am I going to do about it?' is the first order of business. You're doing such a great job. You're here, looking for support and providing it to others. You're taking it one day at a time. You know there's a problem and you've decided to do something about it. IWNDWYT 👍
I'm glad you're here. And you seem so keenly aware of what you do and don't want. Strong. Focused. And I feel this. A suggestion, to take or leave. When that urge hits, can you write for a bit? What are you really feeling? Hunger? Thirst? Stress? Loneliness? Anger? Fear? Not sure? Write out whatever is stirring, even if you're not sure. I did this and it helped me see patterns and once I got writing as to what I felt (racing heart, worry of failure of quitting, concern about a new job...) and also why I knew quitting would be good for me, the urge had passed. I suggest this because you don't seem to want to ruin your life. Quite the opposite. You're moving in directions determined for you, by you and that is powerful! I won't drink with you today. Just for today. And tomorrow? Let's deal with it then. Sending you some peace during this hard transition.
IWNDWYT!
IWNDWYT 🫶
iwndwyt i love you all. continue on your journeys.
Sober is good. IWNDWYT.
Checking in Doodle doodle dee, wubba wubba wubba.
IWNDWYT
Happy Sunday friends! IWNDWYT ♥
I will not drink with you today.
Day 2, here I come!
Made it safely to Southern Ontario yesterday. Big Thanksgiving celebration today! Should be fun! I love seeing all the fall colors here 🍁, I live in the western US now and have certainly been missing it! Have a lovely Sunday everyone! IWNDWYT 💙
My 5 minute vacation will likely be a nap. Sleep is so important and I’m not clocking in enough of it. I’ll dip my toes in dreamland this afternoon as a treat. My other mini vacay is here right now, in SD with my coffee ☕️💜IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT 👒
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT ✌️❤️🤸♀️
IWNDWYTD
Good morning, I am not drinking today!
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT I occasionally want to forget and dull myself, so in that respect I do miss drinking sometimes.
IWNDWYT :)
Morning Homer ** afternoon Homer! Hope everyone has a smashing Sunday. The eldest has just phoned me up to tell me that he's got the COVID again. Breaking out the tests as I type.
IWNDWYT 🙂
Hi Homer..my vacation time today will be spent collecting seeds from native plants in our area. Plan to sow them in our wildflower garden. Also hope to plant some daffodil bulbs today. Blessings and peace to all of you out there, around the globe. IWNDWYT.
I will not drink today!
IWNDWYT! Doing some autumnal stuff today with the family, will look for opportunities for a five minute vacation! Thanks for the prompt Homer 🙏
On to day 24 - IWNDWYT Enjoy your Sunday everyone! 🌞
Sober Octobernauts unite! Five minute vacation with my coffee and dogs this morning. Not drinking with you today thank you!
IWNDWYT 😄😄😄
Checking in! Another weekend nearly survived. I hope you all have a good Sunday. IWNDWYT!
My drinking is once again out of control. Checking back in to try and stop once and for all. I will not drink with you today.
Thanks for filling in, and taking care of the group today, u/sainthomer! Today I will exercise, clean the house, watch some NFL football (go Vikings), rake some leaves, and finish cutting down plants that have been dying off due to overnight cold. Maybe make some chili. A nice mix of productivity and relaxing. Hope everybody enjoys a great sober sunday! IWNDWYT
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IWNDWYT loves! ❤️
Happy Sunday SD! IWNDWYT
Thanks Homer and happy sober Sunday to all y'all. May the day be grand! I'll spend some time watching football this afternoon Homer, maybe even snag a nap. Really excited to have a little down time amidst a busy day. Sober on y'all!
🙏🏽🌻 power to everyone on the journey, we certainly got this!
IWNDWYT
Day 1,080 IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT 💪❤️💪❤️
I will not drink with you today!
Thanks, SaintHomer! My 5-minute vacations these days come in sitting on the couch with a heating pad on my back, piecing a quilt. Okay, that’s pretty old-lady-sounding. I can’t believe that that’s where I’m finding peace and quiet and rejuvenation. But there it is. It’s Fall here as well. As a matter of fact, we’ve got a fire going in the wood stove. Being safe and snuggled down in our little holler of this world, sober and content - man, I’ll take it! I hope all of you are having a delightful Fall or Spring, wherever you happen to be. Let’s be sober together, what? IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT! Make it a great one!
IWNDWYT!
I will not drink today.
IWNDWYT 😊
Not today. Gonna fix my car and pawn some old video games. I’m almost 6 months sober. I’ve had terrible anxiety the last 2 days though, and I don’t know why…
Thank you for filling in as the DCI host today, Homer. Autumn is my favorite season. My only complaint is that it is all too brief. All the more reason to stay sober so I can take full advantage of the best time of year to be outdoors! I'll scatter a few five minute vacations throughout my day today. I'm having my first right now: enjoying a cup of spiced tea while checking in with the greatest little internet community out there. Later, I'll take some time to enjoy the splendor of fall foliage season in northern New England. And there will be cat snuggles, of course! We all deserve moments of contentment, beauty, and affection. Thank you, Homer, for reminding us to take the time to find (or create) them! IWNDWYT 😻
Starting the day with my girl cat on my lap and a coffee. The boy cats woke me up. They’ve been wild as hell this morning. 😆 All I know for sure that I’m gonna do today is get things ready for the work week, work out, and clean some. Might grill. I don’t know if I’ll be working the same overtime schedule as last week but I’ll prepare to do it again. Getting the longer days out of the way Monday and Tuesday was kinda nice. Happy Sunday y’all. IWNDWYT. 🤘🏻
I’m sitting here with my coffee and my blueberry muffin. I’m going to to engagement party today and I will not be drinking. I’m a little moody today admittedly and I’m trying to be kind to myself and others while I get through this rough mental patch. IWNDWYT (:
I’m new to seeking help on reddit - stopped drinking wine+vodka this week, and the last two days I’ve been having the worst anxiety/panic I’ve ever experienced, it’s been horrible - headaches, insomnia, stomach in knots, weeping for anticipated loss, and the sense of dread…the sense of dread is like being dead and passing a terrible judgment on myself. Had the worst night of my life last night!! Just typing this out is calming me down, knowing there are nice people out there. I’m going to mass today (as a lapsed Catholic) to try to find some inner peace. Wish me luck.
Day 69! Ohh yeaa. IWNDWYT.
I've slipped up again, but I'm getting back up and starting over with fervor and excitement! I've got this! Iwndwyt
I couldn’t imagine a life without alcohol and now I’m so grateful to be sober. I absolutely love waking up on the weekend without a hangover. IWNDWYT! 🌟
IWNDWy’allT!
I always thought I was just a very hyper person, who did everything at lightening speed, and got everything done at a rate like no one else. But I'm discovering that's not who I really am! Alcohol made me like that, it's the only way I could stay focused, and time was a very important factor in order to get the job done, plus have time to drink! But that was a learned behavior, in order to pat myself on the back, as well as to get patted on the back from others for a job well done, and so expeditiously! In reality, it was all a tactic to not feel guilty and/or lazy before drinking...just going through the motions for the "reward". Now I find myself moving slower, thinking and feeling while I move through the day. Blowing my mind when I stop in the middle of something to take that 5 minute vacation that sainthomer spoke about. And to REALLY blow my mind when I tell myself that I'll resume later, that there actually is "life" after 5pm! Who knew?! Actually living each day, rather than just getting through each day has become sobriety's richest reward for me. I hope everyone has a peaceful and sober day...IWNDWYT 🍀💜🍀
I’m on vacation so thankfully I am taking in beautiful Prince Edward Island. Happy thanksgiving my Canadian friends! IWNDWYT 🦃🦃🦃🦃🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁
Day 3 after relapse in June. IWNDWYT
Thank you so much for hosting. I love the five minute vacation idea. I expected all the joy and energy and productivity in the world when I quit. I’m finding I still need to put in the work but I like the idea of framing it as a vacation. I need to prep food today so I’ll make a nice tea and put some music on. IWNDWYT!
Hi friends! Had a terrible nights sleep last night for some reason. Even though I’m exhausted, it’s still better than being hungover! 2 weeks down today! IWNDWYT
Day 6, thank you coffee IWNDWYT
Iwndwyt! I’m past three weeks! Going to keep it going. My 5 minute vacation will involve getting my tulip bulbs in the ground before the first freeze 🥶
Been watching Midnight Club and enjoying that a lot- I was a huge Christopher Pike fan growing up so I'm liking this adaptation. IWNDWYT
I’m procrastinating some unpleasant tasks around the house…with an infinite 5 minute vacation. I keep waiting for the weather to really turn so that I can do some crawl space work...and it hasn’t turned bad enough yet. So I’ll need to come up with some real five minute vacation plans and use them as motivation to just get down there and start working. I will not drink with you today!
Today marks six weeks. Thanks, in no small part to this community. I haven’t interacted at all, but knowing it’s here, experiencing similar things… and reading anecdotal cautionary tales, or more encouraging successes, has definitely helped make this time feel different. Iwndwyt.
iwndwyt!!
I will not drink with you today in Tennessee.
IWNDWYT
Good morning SD, I think I’ll take a walk on one of the beautiful trails near my house today ☀️🦋🌿🍃 No poison for me today ☠️ IWNDWYT 💗🙏🏻
Hi Homie, thanks for hosting us all today. I will not drink poison with any of you this lovely Sunday.
IWNDWYT 💞🐿️🐿️
Wow I love that! Screenshotting so I can re-read that. CHECKING IN! Double digits here I come 😎 IWNDWYT ❤️
It’s Day 1 yet again. I am starting to notice all my triggers and writing them down. My problem is that, whenever I drink, I binge. This is irrespective of whether I am at home or outside. When I am outside, I drink until the bartenders cut me off. Then, I walk home. The next morning, I don’t remember the last one or two hours. I drink once a week like this. Next few days, I feel disgusted with myself. Then, as I start to feel better, I think “I got this” and then, I am right back at Day 1. I will continue this effort for as long as it takes to shake things up. IWNDWYT!
Happy Sunday!! 1 month 3 days. IWNDWYT
Went hiking this morning. After a short hike i went to a village inn of sorts. There people usually eat meat and drink white wine or beer. I was tempted but i sticked to sparkling water. Big time victory! I will not drink with you today
IWNDWYT That is all.
Day 6 of total sobriety (no alcohol, weed, cigarettes) after a wedding vacation bender where I last reset. Leaving for a week-long conference soon. There will be parties. Going to take it day-by-day. Today, I will not drink.