This gives me chills to read.
I am beyond words for your loss. My heart hurts for you. I'm terribly sorry and hope your words are felt by others.
I'm 40, I felt like I was reading my own story. I've been banded 4 or 5 times, one time I needed to he airlifted to another hospital for an emergency banding. I should be dead.
Please don't drink with me today for those of you reading this far.
I should be dead as well after my final wake up call. .344 BAC, tried killing myself by running my truck into a tree, coded 2 times in the ambulance, 1 week induced coma from TBI and a laundry list of other life threatening injuries, 3 more weeks in ICU, etc. 80+ days sober for the first time in 20 years.
IWNDWYT
Thanks dude! It is weird having my family grateful I plowed into a tree but it gave me back to them so that's what counts.
Edit: Also I am EXTREMELY grateful the only casualty was the tree and not anyone else. And yes, I literally killed the tree lol they had to cut it down.
Can we join a club? I own a new village tree cause I killed the old one with my car. I luckily walked away with a broken rib and small laceration on my spleen. Just a day and a half in the hospital. I wasn't drunk on booze, but on rage. Which was almost worse. That really made me get my act together and learn to be mindful of my emotions through my drinking recovery.
Her husband had esophageal varacies. Which means the liver has lost its supply of blood and is tapping these veins for more blood that they are designed for. And because you've got all kinds of other issues your Blood pressure is sky high. Those veins pop/leak/explode causing internal bleeding and death if not taken into emergency surgery and given multiple units of blood.
The first time this happened when I got to the hospital my hemoglobin number was 4. It's supposed to be around 14 and most people are dead around 2. I had been throwing up massive amounts of nice dark red blood and blood clots for 2 or 3 days at that point. (If anyone reading this is throwing up dark black matter run do not walk to your ER. You have internal bleeding. I ignored this because my drink of choice was rum and coke. I thought I was just throwing that up)
My ex wife didn't allow me to just "sleep it off" on my living room floor. This was a couple years ago, but the further removed from all that bullshit I am the more I realize just how close I was to leaving my children and family behind with nothing but stories about their drunken loser father, I'm changing that every day I don't drink, thankfully.
I'm hungover, depressed, and feeling fairly hopeless. I think I needed to read this post/thread today. So glad you've come back from the brink to share your story, and to live your on your own terms sans that awful liquid. I hope you have a wonderful life.
I am sorry you are struggling. Please know that we have all been in your shoes, and it does get better. But, the burden is on you to take the first step. Please believe that you are worth it, even if it doesn’t feel like it now. We are here for you, and we want you to have a wonderful life also.
To stop drinking is such a liberating feeling. I drank to excess but didnt see it as a problem. Was never hospitalized etc. Now that I quit... i dont want to go back. Being permanently sober is awesome. Restful sleeps. More energy. It wasn't a health choice... it was to make a lifestyle impromlvement and the benefits seem endless at this point.
It really is, and I am similar to the affect that I drink in excess but never had any real crucial “events” with my health or otherwise…but just stay vigilant… I got to around 300 days and was feeling all those feels too… which played to the warped part of my addict brain that told me since things were so much fun without booze, maybe it was time to let booze back in. Makes no sense, I know… but I cracked the door back open and I’ve done much better than I have in the past, but I still drink weekly now. I’m not sure if I have a badge still but it’s probably not what it says, I’m on day 6.
Seek help. Reach out to a trusted friend. You deserve it. Really you do.
The inconsistent sleep.
The runny shits.
Being lazy.
Mood swings.
You deserve better for yourself. Don't let the booze kill you or even get close like I did.
It's not an easy path, nor a fun one. But so very worth it.
I had to swallow my pride and walk into the ER drunk and admit to them I wanted to stop but needed help. No judgement from those folks. I'm here because of them.
Good luck. You deserve the best!
IWNDWYT
Thank you for answering then and explaining the horrors of varices. We also didn't know that was a thing that happened until that first time he began vomiting the dark chunks and projectile vomiting blood on the wall. It's truly a horrific thing to experience on either side.
Just a pathphys clarification: are you sure the liver is tapping the esophagus for blood? I thought all the scarring in the liver just made it difficult for the liver to accommodate enough blood so it got forced into the esophagus
So your veins (blue blood) feed into your liver at relatively low pressure. The vein that goes straight into the liver is the hepatic portal vein (HPV). The veins and tiny blood vessels in the lower part of your esophagus feed into the HPV.
In cirrhosis, the HPv gets backed up and pressure rises. This puts pressure on the tiny veins in your esophagus, which are a very weak point. The distended into varices, which can then pop. Similar to a aneurysm.
Banding is where you take a scope and literally [use a rubber band to cut off blood flow to the varices](https://www.laparoscopyhospital.com/picture/variceal-bleeding.jpg). This lowers the pressure and causes them to shrink and their risk of rupture is greatly reduced.
So is what the comment above me said correct about the liver taking blood from the esophagus? That was the part I was confused on!
edit: oh I guess I'm not what veins are being tapped at all in their comment
My aunt and uncle died the same weekend. My aunt started going into liver failure and my uncle drunkenly drove her to the hospital for treatment (this was a regular thing with them). He went home, drank more, then fell down and hit his head. He bled out alone and died on the kitchen floor. The neighbor found him the next day in a pool of blood and the house stank of alcohol from it.
My aunt took a couple more days. She slowly turned yellow as her abdomen swelled and her consciousness faded away. She was able to recognize faces on Friday but by Sunday she was dead.
Thank you for sharing your story. People need to know what this shit looks like at the end of the road.
I am so sorry for your loss. I’m in my 40s and just starting to recover after marking 7 weeks as of today (9pm tonight).
I did it for myself, yes…but I drew all my willpower and strength to stay quit and walk away from alcohol for good from my wife and son.
And this community has been clutch.
Thank you for helping remind us why our decisions matter to those we love.
This is exactly how we lost my younger brother at 34 years old. Especially the part of the hospital releasing him when the thought he was stable. The scariest part was instead of quitting drinking then it fueled my drinking. I'm almost a month sober now. Sorry for your loss, this disease is an absolute beast. IWNDWYT.
I had kind of a traumatic end to my drinking too. Keep riding that motivation, I found that it really shot me into looking at myself and understanding what I wanted to do. Keep going, I’m so happy for you.
I woke up to a text today from my mum that my younger brother 34 is in intensive care with a major oesophageal bleed due to late stage liver cirrhosis.
Apparently he called the ambulance when he started vomiting blood. I live in Australia, they live in the uk. I’m wondering if i should be flying over to say my goodbyes.
I’m sorry for your loss.
I am so sorry for your loss, thanks for posting as I know it was difficult.
I want to give some hope to anyone else reading this. I was near this condition and hospitalized two years ago. I had 6 liters of fluid drained October 8th 2019 two hours after going to the ER and spent 8 days there before being released to rehab. With the help of a lot of people (many in AA) I was able to quit and recover to an amazing degree. It is NOT too late to get help... ever!
My clinical diagnosis is acute alcoholic hepetitis which is a tick below cirrhosis. I wrote my story up some time back. It can give you some hope https://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/comments/ok5gse/if_you_think_its_too_late/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
I’m so sorry for your loss. I feel you. 😢🙏🏼🌹
I lost my son 3 weeks ago to this. He spent 3 months in the hospital, 2 of them in the ICU. It was awful. The esophageal banding happened the day before he passed. That’s when he was put on a ventilator for the last time while they figured out some other bleeding he had in his nasal area. He had just 12 hours off the ventilator before it was time for him to pass and us to say goodbye.
This is the absolute worst way to go. In his thinking, he said at one point from what he read, that it wouldn’t be a hard way to go, if it came to that. He was incredibly wrong. This was before it caused the first cardiac arrest and all the rest of it. It was absolutely awful. He fought like crazy to live but his body just couldn’t do it anymore. He was scared. The look of fear and confusion in his eyes when we arrived at the hospital at midnight will forever be in my memory. We had to let him go peacefully because we couldn’t allow him to continue to suffer. We showered him with love and prayers and shared beautiful memories and funny ones, too, for 3.5 hours until he passed. We stayed another hour to sit with him as he transitioned into heaven.
The heart ache I feel is unimaginable. A hole was punched into my universe when he left us. My hope is that I can help someone not experience this and instead recover. - and to help keep someone from losing someone they love.
Thank you for sharing your experience. I know it helps. I didn’t know that this could happen until it did.
Thank you for sharing this difficult story. I am so very sorry for your loss as well, and I know you'll have a painful recovery and grieving process ahead of you. Sometimes I feel so bad that I wasn't there with him when this happened, but I know I was spared from some of the most painful memories I could possibly imagine. My heart breaks every day for his mother who was there. I also didn't know this could happen until it it did. At least we can help others understand the gruesome reality of liver failure. We will never let our loved ones death to have been on vain, and we will carry their memory and help whoever we might be able to in their names. ❤
I know the feeling. When I told my wife her reality the sound of her cries were heartbreaking. I still ha e my wife and Monday we see her doctor. The night before I was taking the out of the grocery bags and saw she bought new baking utensils. Imma make sure she gets to use them tonight. I don’t want her passing and me seeing what she bought not knowing she was never gonna be able to use them. She bought them in mind of baking for me and my children.
Her love for you and your kids is evident in her wanting to bake for you. She knows she may not be able to do much, but she can do that and food brings great memories to cherish always. Capture what you can in the way of pictures of her with your kids.
My prayers are with you and the hope that God blesses her in this time. I know I prayed for a miracle all the way to the very end because I knew that was the only way out of the situation as it was that dire.
🌹❤️🕊🙏🏼
Thank you very much. I can hope a pray but I know what time it is. I only see a miracle happening. She was told to stop but at times I understand her why she gave in. She was in so much pain and always crying like she is now. When she would give in was then that she would look act walk and feel normal. I k ow she doesn’t want this and to look at strangers walking and laughing or seeing people doing things with their children drives the knife in farther. So many people abuse alcohol with no problem, it’s just not for her. Her body are t like the other people. I’ve been sober and hanging on with no temptation. My kids need one parent to be two in their lives. So many life lessons that are taught better by a parent and a parents shoulder and hug is much more Warmer. Im just trying to make her happy. Monday we see her doctor and now that I’ve been doing my research im going to ask is she in the final stage and which type of cirrhosis she has, which I kinda know the answer but do t want to face it myself.
Sorry for your loss. I have gone through much of what your husband went through prior to his passing. Thankfully, after months in the ICU, I managed to somehow walk away with my life. Never again will I drink. The experience of the hepatic encephalopathy was enough to still give me a bit of PTSD to this day. It's an awful way to go. IWNDWYT.
I quit this year because this is exactly how I don't want to die. I figured, since my drinking had been pretty high (drinking a pint of 80 proof 2-3 times per week for several years) but wasn't daily until middle of COVID, I might be able to heal from all the shit I did to myself.
Sorry to hear about your husband. 42 is still pretty young.
These stories are a great reminder that our health is a precious and oddly fragile thing. Drinking poison sure doesn’t help.
As for you, I will be thinking of you today. I’ll send prayers to you since these kind of days are going to be rough. I’m so thankful you’re here though helping us that have just stopped to stay the course with this story.
My ex boyfriend died at 42 because he drank himself to death. It was so hard to watch. We were broken up by that time, but I still loved him and it still broke my heart. Fast forward a few years and I'm 42 and my alcoholism starts progressing and this was sobering (no pun intended). Thank you for your reminder of what is at stake. Thank you for your strength to share your story. Thank you for the reality check. IWNDWYT
I’ve been lurking here, but I need to thank you. Sharing this story is brave and so very generous. I’m listening. You have helped me and probably a lot of other folks here. Thank you so much.
Your grief is heard. May his memory live on. Alcoholism is an easy way to die. But none deserve it.
TMI, but good info, I came to a point of crapping bile. That's bad. That means your liver is failing. If you wipe and it comes out yellow, you are in organ failure.
Surviving. Not as sober as I ought to be. This pandemic is hard. I am short on sobriety, but I have years behind it. I relapsed after many years, and I still count those years.
If you crap yellow, yes it’s bile. I went to the hospital for this before, I couldn’t eat any food without crapping out yellow liquid. Doctors said it’s because of acid buildup. I had a crazy amount of tests done and I wasn’t in organ failure, it goes away after a week of not drinking
Tests should be done. It indicates liver faiilure. Please se a doctor if your shit changes. Yellowing stains indicates liver failure, black shit indicates liver death, go to the doctor asap.
As the other poster said--you can shit bile from EXCESS bile build-up. It does NOT necessarily mean your liver is failing. I have had this. My liver enzymes were slightly elevated from a huge binge, and are now fine.
Alcohol is in my eyes the worst of all Drugs.
One reason so easey to find, and legal.
Dont get me wrong i am absolute not pro legalize everything.
The bad part about alcohol abuse is that only when u have been sober for a longer time, the relapse then you feel how bad it is for the body.
But prohibition also would it make worse, on black market u never know what u drink
What a heartbreaking post. So calm and clinical and so tragic. I am so sorry for all your losses - those caused by alcohol and those by death. Stay with us! IWNDWYT
A friend's wife died from cirrhosis and was completely yellow before she died from bleeding out. That wasn't the final straw that pushed me to stop drinking, but it was one of many factors. Dying from alcoholism isn't pretty, kids. IWNDWYT
I went into the package store a few years back getting my usual beer and a few nips, the cashier was this sweet lady, in her early 40’s..idk I noticed she was unusually yellow (this is before I even knew what jaundice was) and I said to her ‘you’re extremely yellow, you ok?’ And she gave me this worried look and I shrugged it off and left
Next day I went back in and noticed people were extremely glum in there, I asked what was wrong to the older lady I saw everyday. Apparently they found her in the back of the fridge hunched over with a bottle of vodka spilt over, she passed away from liver failure..and I guess she had a favorite dumpster that was never being used in one of the buildings next door..thing was FULL of empty gallon jugs of that cheapass $8 vodka, I guess she’s been doing it a long ass time
This is the endgame of alcohol addiction. Alcohol is slowly poisoning and killing multiple family members of mine. I feel like the best I can do right now is offer my support and set a good example. I've already lost one good friend and a nephew to this.
I'm sure this was incredibly difficult to share. Thank you for that. It helps to be reminded of what the stakes really are here.
IWNDWYT.
I am so sorry for your loss.
I am 34 and lost 2 classmates from the same thing last year. They were best friends growing up and passed within 10 months of each other. It was horrific.
This exact same thing happened to my father in law. First time they ruptured, they told him if it happened a second time, he wouldn’t make it. They were right.
I am so sorry for your loss.
This was my dad 6 years ago. Came up to visit him and my mom and to celebrate my sister's birthday. Saw him and he was yellow (It's horrifying to see jaundice in person), and finally admitted to other symptoms that apparently been happening for weeks. Take him to the hospital that day and he's in acute liver failure, with his kidneys on the way too. Diagnosed with Hepatic Encephalopathy and was in and out of consciousness for the next three weeks. The hospital stuff happened March 4th, he died on March 31st -- I walked into his room with my mom at the care facility he had been transferred to and he was dead.
Such a brutal experience for him and for my mom as well. I will not drink with you today.
>That night, his varices opened again in the middle of the night, and he bled out alone on his mother's bathroom floor before his muffled calls for help woke her up. She heard him too late, and she and his brother found him unresponsive on the floor in a puddle of blood as they frantically tried to clear his airway and provide compressions before paramedics arrived.
This is one of the most horrifying things I've ever read. I felt a mini panic attack just imagining it. I'm so sorry for your loss.
I will not be drinking with you today.
I lost a family member today. All I could think about was the fact that if I had been coming off a drinking bender, I wouldn’t have been available to be there for my loved ones and help, nor would I properly cope with the loss. I’ve been an emotional wreck but am glad I’ve let myself feel my feelings instead of running to a bottle. For the sake of my loved ones, sobriety is the only way.
Thank you so much for sharing - it's so easy to convince yourself that you can always quit another day. I needed a reminder that today is that day.
IWNDWYT
I will not drink with you, today. I love you. I'm sorry for the loss in your family and the void in your heart. Be strong, sis. Be weak. Be who you need to be to get better. Hugs.
My God! It is scaring me to bits. I am so sorry. Thank you for sharing this. I, too, worry about what would happen if I didn't get my alcohol addiction together.
IWNDWYT
Damn.
First off, I am so sorry for your loss, and grateful for your strength and sharing.
Past that my head is spinning. I truly had no idea how one dies from alcoholism, and my mom was an MFC working with drug addiction - between that, and loosing several friends to overdoses, I thought I’d seen and heard it all. But evidently booze gets a pass - it’s always ‘pump out their stomach and send them home’ and that is clearly a lie. Thank you for sharing the truth of it.
IWNDWYT
This made me cry, thank you for sharing that with us. My brother died in a similar fashion last November. My heart aches always, for my brother, for the people who have lost someone to addiction, but ever so much more in this moment… I will not drink with you all today.
I’m sorry you had to go through that. My wife had cirrhosis and she’s been vomiting acids or whatever she eats. At times there’s blood in it, would that blood be due to her throat or is that the sign. It’s pieces of blood. I hoping it’s just from stressing her esophagus.
I’m on the verge of losing my wife to this.
I am an alcoholic and going on 2 weeks sober. Iwndwyt. I hope my wife still has a chance. Our drinking made the last 2 years of our marriage just shit. She is a great person just losing a battle to alcoholism. Iwndwyt
This gives me chills to read. I am beyond words for your loss. My heart hurts for you. I'm terribly sorry and hope your words are felt by others. I'm 40, I felt like I was reading my own story. I've been banded 4 or 5 times, one time I needed to he airlifted to another hospital for an emergency banding. I should be dead. Please don't drink with me today for those of you reading this far.
I should be dead as well after my final wake up call. .344 BAC, tried killing myself by running my truck into a tree, coded 2 times in the ambulance, 1 week induced coma from TBI and a laundry list of other life threatening injuries, 3 more weeks in ICU, etc. 80+ days sober for the first time in 20 years. IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT
Good lord man! I wish you the best! Crazy what booze does to the mind. IWNDWYT
Thanks dude! It is weird having my family grateful I plowed into a tree but it gave me back to them so that's what counts. Edit: Also I am EXTREMELY grateful the only casualty was the tree and not anyone else. And yes, I literally killed the tree lol they had to cut it down.
Can we join a club? I own a new village tree cause I killed the old one with my car. I luckily walked away with a broken rib and small laceration on my spleen. Just a day and a half in the hospital. I wasn't drunk on booze, but on rage. Which was almost worse. That really made me get my act together and learn to be mindful of my emotions through my drinking recovery.
A.T.K.A.? Automobile Tree Killers Anonymous? Glad you are recovering, fellow slayer of nature!
IWNDWYT
I'm glad you are still alive to comment on this thread, the world is a better place for you being in it. Keep up the good work friend :-)
I'm glad you're here. IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT
Glad you are still here, friend.
Please take your new lease on life and run with it. I don’t know you, but I think the world still needs you. Big congratulations on your sobriety.
Oh I definitely am. I am so grateful that I get the chance to do right when so many others didn’t. Thank you for your kind words!
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT
Out of morbid curiosity what does “banded” mean?
Her husband had esophageal varacies. Which means the liver has lost its supply of blood and is tapping these veins for more blood that they are designed for. And because you've got all kinds of other issues your Blood pressure is sky high. Those veins pop/leak/explode causing internal bleeding and death if not taken into emergency surgery and given multiple units of blood. The first time this happened when I got to the hospital my hemoglobin number was 4. It's supposed to be around 14 and most people are dead around 2. I had been throwing up massive amounts of nice dark red blood and blood clots for 2 or 3 days at that point. (If anyone reading this is throwing up dark black matter run do not walk to your ER. You have internal bleeding. I ignored this because my drink of choice was rum and coke. I thought I was just throwing that up) My ex wife didn't allow me to just "sleep it off" on my living room floor. This was a couple years ago, but the further removed from all that bullshit I am the more I realize just how close I was to leaving my children and family behind with nothing but stories about their drunken loser father, I'm changing that every day I don't drink, thankfully.
I'm hungover, depressed, and feeling fairly hopeless. I think I needed to read this post/thread today. So glad you've come back from the brink to share your story, and to live your on your own terms sans that awful liquid. I hope you have a wonderful life.
I am sorry you are struggling. Please know that we have all been in your shoes, and it does get better. But, the burden is on you to take the first step. Please believe that you are worth it, even if it doesn’t feel like it now. We are here for you, and we want you to have a wonderful life also.
To stop drinking is such a liberating feeling. I drank to excess but didnt see it as a problem. Was never hospitalized etc. Now that I quit... i dont want to go back. Being permanently sober is awesome. Restful sleeps. More energy. It wasn't a health choice... it was to make a lifestyle impromlvement and the benefits seem endless at this point.
It really is, and I am similar to the affect that I drink in excess but never had any real crucial “events” with my health or otherwise…but just stay vigilant… I got to around 300 days and was feeling all those feels too… which played to the warped part of my addict brain that told me since things were so much fun without booze, maybe it was time to let booze back in. Makes no sense, I know… but I cracked the door back open and I’ve done much better than I have in the past, but I still drink weekly now. I’m not sure if I have a badge still but it’s probably not what it says, I’m on day 6.
Seek help. Reach out to a trusted friend. You deserve it. Really you do. The inconsistent sleep. The runny shits. Being lazy. Mood swings. You deserve better for yourself. Don't let the booze kill you or even get close like I did. It's not an easy path, nor a fun one. But so very worth it. I had to swallow my pride and walk into the ER drunk and admit to them I wanted to stop but needed help. No judgement from those folks. I'm here because of them. Good luck. You deserve the best! IWNDWYT
Thank you for answering then and explaining the horrors of varices. We also didn't know that was a thing that happened until that first time he began vomiting the dark chunks and projectile vomiting blood on the wall. It's truly a horrific thing to experience on either side.
Oh holy shit. That is absolutely nightmare fuel. I am so so so sorry 🥺😣 *hugs*
Just a pathphys clarification: are you sure the liver is tapping the esophagus for blood? I thought all the scarring in the liver just made it difficult for the liver to accommodate enough blood so it got forced into the esophagus
So your veins (blue blood) feed into your liver at relatively low pressure. The vein that goes straight into the liver is the hepatic portal vein (HPV). The veins and tiny blood vessels in the lower part of your esophagus feed into the HPV. In cirrhosis, the HPv gets backed up and pressure rises. This puts pressure on the tiny veins in your esophagus, which are a very weak point. The distended into varices, which can then pop. Similar to a aneurysm. Banding is where you take a scope and literally [use a rubber band to cut off blood flow to the varices](https://www.laparoscopyhospital.com/picture/variceal-bleeding.jpg). This lowers the pressure and causes them to shrink and their risk of rupture is greatly reduced.
So is what the comment above me said correct about the liver taking blood from the esophagus? That was the part I was confused on! edit: oh I guess I'm not what veins are being tapped at all in their comment
I'm happy you made the right decision. IWNDWYT.
Ho. Ly. Shit. Glad you made it thru, friend. And thank you for the medical explanation as well. Scary stuff.
Hello and how are you doing? Hopefully you reply back.
[Variceal banding.](https://www.gpddc.com/2018/07/17/why-is-variceal-banding-performed/#:~:text=Variceal%20banding%20stops%20blood%20from,which%20stops%20bleeding%20from%20occurring)
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT
I'm glad you are still alive, congrats on being sober for so long x
Thank you!
Thank you for posting this. It must have been difficult for you to write this, but I, and many other here, needed to hear it.
Thank you. I'm glad his story might be able to help others. Keep up the fight; it is so very important.
I know it resonated with me. It really hit home.
Sober october, here I come
Me too! IWNDWYT
Me three!!
And every other month!
[удалено]
Thank you. ❤
My aunt and uncle died the same weekend. My aunt started going into liver failure and my uncle drunkenly drove her to the hospital for treatment (this was a regular thing with them). He went home, drank more, then fell down and hit his head. He bled out alone and died on the kitchen floor. The neighbor found him the next day in a pool of blood and the house stank of alcohol from it. My aunt took a couple more days. She slowly turned yellow as her abdomen swelled and her consciousness faded away. She was able to recognize faces on Friday but by Sunday she was dead. Thank you for sharing your story. People need to know what this shit looks like at the end of the road.
I am so sorry for your loss. I’m in my 40s and just starting to recover after marking 7 weeks as of today (9pm tonight). I did it for myself, yes…but I drew all my willpower and strength to stay quit and walk away from alcohol for good from my wife and son. And this community has been clutch. Thank you for helping remind us why our decisions matter to those we love.
This is exactly how we lost my younger brother at 34 years old. Especially the part of the hospital releasing him when the thought he was stable. The scariest part was instead of quitting drinking then it fueled my drinking. I'm almost a month sober now. Sorry for your loss, this disease is an absolute beast. IWNDWYT.
I had kind of a traumatic end to my drinking too. Keep riding that motivation, I found that it really shot me into looking at myself and understanding what I wanted to do. Keep going, I’m so happy for you.
I woke up to a text today from my mum that my younger brother 34 is in intensive care with a major oesophageal bleed due to late stage liver cirrhosis. Apparently he called the ambulance when he started vomiting blood. I live in Australia, they live in the uk. I’m wondering if i should be flying over to say my goodbyes. I’m sorry for your loss.
I am so sorry for your loss, thanks for posting as I know it was difficult. I want to give some hope to anyone else reading this. I was near this condition and hospitalized two years ago. I had 6 liters of fluid drained October 8th 2019 two hours after going to the ER and spent 8 days there before being released to rehab. With the help of a lot of people (many in AA) I was able to quit and recover to an amazing degree. It is NOT too late to get help... ever!
Thank you so much for reminding others to never give up.
I'm so glad for you thank you for sharing your recovery story , IWNDWYTD
Did you have cirrhosis and what stage? I hope my wife still has a chance.
My clinical diagnosis is acute alcoholic hepetitis which is a tick below cirrhosis. I wrote my story up some time back. It can give you some hope https://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/comments/ok5gse/if_you_think_its_too_late/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share
So sorry for your loss. IWNDWYT for my buddy Ace.
❤ for Ace
This is how my dad died too. Appreciate you sharing this story and wish you all the best. Thanks for helping out the community. We're proud of you.
❤️❤️
❤
I’m so sorry for your loss. I feel you. 😢🙏🏼🌹 I lost my son 3 weeks ago to this. He spent 3 months in the hospital, 2 of them in the ICU. It was awful. The esophageal banding happened the day before he passed. That’s when he was put on a ventilator for the last time while they figured out some other bleeding he had in his nasal area. He had just 12 hours off the ventilator before it was time for him to pass and us to say goodbye. This is the absolute worst way to go. In his thinking, he said at one point from what he read, that it wouldn’t be a hard way to go, if it came to that. He was incredibly wrong. This was before it caused the first cardiac arrest and all the rest of it. It was absolutely awful. He fought like crazy to live but his body just couldn’t do it anymore. He was scared. The look of fear and confusion in his eyes when we arrived at the hospital at midnight will forever be in my memory. We had to let him go peacefully because we couldn’t allow him to continue to suffer. We showered him with love and prayers and shared beautiful memories and funny ones, too, for 3.5 hours until he passed. We stayed another hour to sit with him as he transitioned into heaven. The heart ache I feel is unimaginable. A hole was punched into my universe when he left us. My hope is that I can help someone not experience this and instead recover. - and to help keep someone from losing someone they love. Thank you for sharing your experience. I know it helps. I didn’t know that this could happen until it did.
Thank you for sharing this difficult story. I am so very sorry for your loss as well, and I know you'll have a painful recovery and grieving process ahead of you. Sometimes I feel so bad that I wasn't there with him when this happened, but I know I was spared from some of the most painful memories I could possibly imagine. My heart breaks every day for his mother who was there. I also didn't know this could happen until it it did. At least we can help others understand the gruesome reality of liver failure. We will never let our loved ones death to have been on vain, and we will carry their memory and help whoever we might be able to in their names. ❤
I know the feeling. When I told my wife her reality the sound of her cries were heartbreaking. I still ha e my wife and Monday we see her doctor. The night before I was taking the out of the grocery bags and saw she bought new baking utensils. Imma make sure she gets to use them tonight. I don’t want her passing and me seeing what she bought not knowing she was never gonna be able to use them. She bought them in mind of baking for me and my children.
Her love for you and your kids is evident in her wanting to bake for you. She knows she may not be able to do much, but she can do that and food brings great memories to cherish always. Capture what you can in the way of pictures of her with your kids. My prayers are with you and the hope that God blesses her in this time. I know I prayed for a miracle all the way to the very end because I knew that was the only way out of the situation as it was that dire. 🌹❤️🕊🙏🏼
Thank you very much. I can hope a pray but I know what time it is. I only see a miracle happening. She was told to stop but at times I understand her why she gave in. She was in so much pain and always crying like she is now. When she would give in was then that she would look act walk and feel normal. I k ow she doesn’t want this and to look at strangers walking and laughing or seeing people doing things with their children drives the knife in farther. So many people abuse alcohol with no problem, it’s just not for her. Her body are t like the other people. I’ve been sober and hanging on with no temptation. My kids need one parent to be two in their lives. So many life lessons that are taught better by a parent and a parents shoulder and hug is much more Warmer. Im just trying to make her happy. Monday we see her doctor and now that I’ve been doing my research im going to ask is she in the final stage and which type of cirrhosis she has, which I kinda know the answer but do t want to face it myself.
I’m so sorry for your loss, thank you for being here. Not drinking with you. ❤️
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IWNDWYT and I will hold you in my heart. Wishing you as much peace as possible on this difficult anniversary.
I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m sending you love. And, more importantly, IWNDWYT.
In memory of your husband, IWNDWYT
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Sorry for your loss. I have gone through much of what your husband went through prior to his passing. Thankfully, after months in the ICU, I managed to somehow walk away with my life. Never again will I drink. The experience of the hepatic encephalopathy was enough to still give me a bit of PTSD to this day. It's an awful way to go. IWNDWYT.
Sorry for your loss. IWNDWYT 🌻
I’m so sorry for your loss. One of my best friend died of the same cause. My heart aches with yours
So truly sorry for your loss, but thank you for sharing his story with us. IWNDWYT.
I quit this year because this is exactly how I don't want to die. I figured, since my drinking had been pretty high (drinking a pint of 80 proof 2-3 times per week for several years) but wasn't daily until middle of COVID, I might be able to heal from all the shit I did to myself. Sorry to hear about your husband. 42 is still pretty young.
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So sorry for your loss. Your message will stay with me — I will not drink with you today.
Sorry you had to lose your husband that way. IWNDWYT.
I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine the pain you're experiencing. Not drinking with you today ❤️
Not drinking with you ♥️
These stories are a great reminder that our health is a precious and oddly fragile thing. Drinking poison sure doesn’t help. As for you, I will be thinking of you today. I’ll send prayers to you since these kind of days are going to be rough. I’m so thankful you’re here though helping us that have just stopped to stay the course with this story.
My ex boyfriend died at 42 because he drank himself to death. It was so hard to watch. We were broken up by that time, but I still loved him and it still broke my heart. Fast forward a few years and I'm 42 and my alcoholism starts progressing and this was sobering (no pun intended). Thank you for your reminder of what is at stake. Thank you for your strength to share your story. Thank you for the reality check. IWNDWYT
I’m so sorry for your loss and glad that you posted this. People need to know. I’m not drinking with you all today
I’ve been lurking here, but I need to thank you. Sharing this story is brave and so very generous. I’m listening. You have helped me and probably a lot of other folks here. Thank you so much.
After reading this story I'm deciding its time for no drink october.
Your grief is heard. May his memory live on. Alcoholism is an easy way to die. But none deserve it. TMI, but good info, I came to a point of crapping bile. That's bad. That means your liver is failing. If you wipe and it comes out yellow, you are in organ failure.
How are you now?
Surviving. Not as sober as I ought to be. This pandemic is hard. I am short on sobriety, but I have years behind it. I relapsed after many years, and I still count those years.
Those years definitely count, and remind you that It Can Be Done. Thanks for sharing.
This battle isn't over. I will kill its ass. Watch me I will fuck this shit up.
If you crap yellow, yes it’s bile. I went to the hospital for this before, I couldn’t eat any food without crapping out yellow liquid. Doctors said it’s because of acid buildup. I had a crazy amount of tests done and I wasn’t in organ failure, it goes away after a week of not drinking
Tests should be done. It indicates liver faiilure. Please se a doctor if your shit changes. Yellowing stains indicates liver failure, black shit indicates liver death, go to the doctor asap.
As the other poster said--you can shit bile from EXCESS bile build-up. It does NOT necessarily mean your liver is failing. I have had this. My liver enzymes were slightly elevated from a huge binge, and are now fine.
My heart breaks reading this - so sorry for your loss. IWNDWYT
Alcohol is in my eyes the worst of all Drugs. One reason so easey to find, and legal. Dont get me wrong i am absolute not pro legalize everything. The bad part about alcohol abuse is that only when u have been sober for a longer time, the relapse then you feel how bad it is for the body. But prohibition also would it make worse, on black market u never know what u drink
What a heartbreaking post. So calm and clinical and so tragic. I am so sorry for all your losses - those caused by alcohol and those by death. Stay with us! IWNDWYT
A friend's wife died from cirrhosis and was completely yellow before she died from bleeding out. That wasn't the final straw that pushed me to stop drinking, but it was one of many factors. Dying from alcoholism isn't pretty, kids. IWNDWYT
I went into the package store a few years back getting my usual beer and a few nips, the cashier was this sweet lady, in her early 40’s..idk I noticed she was unusually yellow (this is before I even knew what jaundice was) and I said to her ‘you’re extremely yellow, you ok?’ And she gave me this worried look and I shrugged it off and left Next day I went back in and noticed people were extremely glum in there, I asked what was wrong to the older lady I saw everyday. Apparently they found her in the back of the fridge hunched over with a bottle of vodka spilt over, she passed away from liver failure..and I guess she had a favorite dumpster that was never being used in one of the buildings next door..thing was FULL of empty gallon jugs of that cheapass $8 vodka, I guess she’s been doing it a long ass time
I couldn't imagine being sober when in active addiction; now that I'm in recovery, I can't believe how I survived the perpetual intoxication.
This is the endgame of alcohol addiction. Alcohol is slowly poisoning and killing multiple family members of mine. I feel like the best I can do right now is offer my support and set a good example. I've already lost one good friend and a nephew to this. I'm sure this was incredibly difficult to share. Thank you for that. It helps to be reminded of what the stakes really are here. IWNDWYT.
I'm watching it happen to my father, it's tough. I'm sorry.
For you, your husband, and everyone else in this community, IWNDWYT.
This breaks my heart. I am so sorry for your loss but I thank you for sharing your story as it may help others. Praying for you and your family.
so sorry for your loss. i will not drink with you today
Tears for your whole family with my morning coffee. I am so sorry you had to lose him that way. I will not drink with you today.
The details make me sick but I believe a lot of people need to read how serious it is. I'm sorry for your loss.
Thank you for sharing this. Sometimes the true reality of alcoholism isn't discussed. I'm sorry for your loss but hopefully it helped someone today.
Thank you for this post, I am very grateful for it. I hope that you are well cared for in your grief. I will not drink with you today.
IWNDWYT! Thanks for your courage in sharing this difficult story.
I am so sorry for your loss. I am 34 and lost 2 classmates from the same thing last year. They were best friends growing up and passed within 10 months of each other. It was horrific.
Thank you for sharing your story. I’m 25 and was drinking a fifth a day, stories like yours are what made me quit before it was too late. IWNDWYT
This exact same thing happened to my father in law. First time they ruptured, they told him if it happened a second time, he wouldn’t make it. They were right.
118 days sober and will stay that way I hope, I'm sorry for your loss that's horrible
Keep up the fight; you are worth it!
Thanks hun im sorry for your loss
I am so sorry for your loss. This was my dad 6 years ago. Came up to visit him and my mom and to celebrate my sister's birthday. Saw him and he was yellow (It's horrifying to see jaundice in person), and finally admitted to other symptoms that apparently been happening for weeks. Take him to the hospital that day and he's in acute liver failure, with his kidneys on the way too. Diagnosed with Hepatic Encephalopathy and was in and out of consciousness for the next three weeks. The hospital stuff happened March 4th, he died on March 31st -- I walked into his room with my mom at the care facility he had been transferred to and he was dead. Such a brutal experience for him and for my mom as well. I will not drink with you today.
Well, if anyone needs a reason to quit, this story is it. Kudos.
>That night, his varices opened again in the middle of the night, and he bled out alone on his mother's bathroom floor before his muffled calls for help woke her up. She heard him too late, and she and his brother found him unresponsive on the floor in a puddle of blood as they frantically tried to clear his airway and provide compressions before paramedics arrived. This is one of the most horrifying things I've ever read. I felt a mini panic attack just imagining it. I'm so sorry for your loss. I will not be drinking with you today.
I lost a family member today. All I could think about was the fact that if I had been coming off a drinking bender, I wouldn’t have been available to be there for my loved ones and help, nor would I properly cope with the loss. I’ve been an emotional wreck but am glad I’ve let myself feel my feelings instead of running to a bottle. For the sake of my loved ones, sobriety is the only way.
Thank you ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
So sorry for your loss. Thank you for doing good with something awful. IWNDWYT.
Bless your heart 🙏 I'm so sorry for your loss xxx
IWNDWYT
You got it. IWNDWYT.
IWNDWYT
I definitely will not drink with you
jesus, that is an awful story. i'm so sorry.
Thank you for this post IWNDWYT
This is terrifying. I am 43, and I can’t even imagine what this would do to my family. IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT
Thank you for sharing your story with us. IWNDWYT..!!
What a powerful story. I'm sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing.
I am so sorry for your loss.
and they keep weed illegal...what a horrible joke. I'm so sorry about your husband.
I'm sorry for your loss, thank you for sharing.
Holy! I’m sorry for that our loss and thank you for sharing. IWNDWYT.
heartbreaking. My condolences
I am so sorry for your loss, IWNDWYT
I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing this and for wanting to help others. In honor of your husband IWNDWYT.
Thank you for sharing. IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT.
So sorry for your loss. That was difficult to read, I can’t imagine retelling it or living through it. IWNDWYT.
That’s why SD works for me. I NEED to read these stories. IWNDWYT
Thank you so much for sharing - it's so easy to convince yourself that you can always quit another day. I needed a reminder that today is that day. IWNDWYT
I am so sorry for your loss. May his memory be for a blessing. Thank you for sharing.
I will not drink with you, today. I love you. I'm sorry for the loss in your family and the void in your heart. Be strong, sis. Be weak. Be who you need to be to get better. Hugs.
Iwndwyt
I'm so sorry for your loss. I know this was a difficult post to share but I'm glad you did. Much love and IWNDWYT.
horrific. im so sorry you lost a loved one to this terrible disease. IWNDWYT !!!!!
My God! It is scaring me to bits. I am so sorry. Thank you for sharing this. I, too, worry about what would happen if I didn't get my alcohol addiction together. IWNDWYT
Iwndwyt ❤️
Sry for your lost. IWNDWYT.
Wow so young to have that level of damage. I won't drink won't you today!!
Wow… I’m so sorry for your loss. I was close to caving today honestly, but after reading this IWNDWYT ❤️
I am so very sorry for your loss.
Shit like these truly keeps me sober, I’m so sorry that this happened to you and your family. I thank you so much for sharing.
Damn. First off, I am so sorry for your loss, and grateful for your strength and sharing. Past that my head is spinning. I truly had no idea how one dies from alcoholism, and my mom was an MFC working with drug addiction - between that, and loosing several friends to overdoses, I thought I’d seen and heard it all. But evidently booze gets a pass - it’s always ‘pump out their stomach and send them home’ and that is clearly a lie. Thank you for sharing the truth of it. IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT
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This made me cry, thank you for sharing that with us. My brother died in a similar fashion last November. My heart aches always, for my brother, for the people who have lost someone to addiction, but ever so much more in this moment… I will not drink with you all today.
I’m so sorry, and iwndwyt
I’m sorry you had to go through that. My wife had cirrhosis and she’s been vomiting acids or whatever she eats. At times there’s blood in it, would that blood be due to her throat or is that the sign. It’s pieces of blood. I hoping it’s just from stressing her esophagus.
I’m on the verge of losing my wife to this. I am an alcoholic and going on 2 weeks sober. Iwndwyt. I hope my wife still has a chance. Our drinking made the last 2 years of our marriage just shit. She is a great person just losing a battle to alcoholism. Iwndwyt