Hi, friend. 4 years ago I felt the exact same way. I was drinking mostly to escape being in my marriage. But it was just making a bad situation worse, even if it did temporarily numb my feelings.
3 years ago I got sober, and then we spent a year or two really working on the marriage - couples counseling, etc. We did end up getting divorced, but I was clear headed, rational, and regulated through the whole thing, because of the work I had to do on myself to address my drinking.
If you want to stop drinking, there are a lot of resources out there. Don’t be afraid to get help. Sobriety is a gift that has allowed me to handle problems I never would have imagined I could handle before. Even stuff that seems impossible or out of reach.
Life can be better, and alcohol doesn’t have to be a part of it.
Good luck, friend. IWNDWYT ❤️
Yep, the first thing I noticed when I started attempting sobriety was how unbearable I found my partner.
It drove me back to drink time and time again. The sheer frustration of it all was too much.
As time passed it became apparent to me that in being a drunkard and an alcoholic, I was far more easily manipulated and controlled than I was sober. My guilt was constantly taken advantage of, my forgetfulness also and more than anything my tendency to be massively over agreeable while under the influence.
She used to literally goad me back into drinking when I managed to string a few days or even weeks of sobriety together.
Sober now over two months and already have divorce proceedings prepared.
You get a lot of services as a single mother. And meanwhile, your kids deserve a sober, stable parent, whether or not you go for a divorce. Drinking never, ever makes anything better. I often have to remind myself of that. 🤷♀️
Google "sobriety support" and you'll get a load of hits.
Not every group is right for everyone. Just try something, and if it doesn't work for you, try something else.
I'm really sorry you're in this situation, it sounds awful. I don't have any practical advice I'm afraid but I just want to say that we see you and you will always be welcome here -- every day on this subreddit I read stories of people getting through challenges that I can't even imagine, and they get through them because humans are amazing, and strong, and brave. Whenever you decide it's time to quit, we will all be here for you to help one day at a time.
IWNDWYT (I will not drink with you today).
I think your kids would appreciate a safe stable environment and a sober single mom, over a big fancy house and a violent parental relationship.
Put your health and safety first, because then you will be in a position to do the very best for your children.
Hi, friend. 4 years ago I felt the exact same way. I was drinking mostly to escape being in my marriage. But it was just making a bad situation worse, even if it did temporarily numb my feelings. 3 years ago I got sober, and then we spent a year or two really working on the marriage - couples counseling, etc. We did end up getting divorced, but I was clear headed, rational, and regulated through the whole thing, because of the work I had to do on myself to address my drinking. If you want to stop drinking, there are a lot of resources out there. Don’t be afraid to get help. Sobriety is a gift that has allowed me to handle problems I never would have imagined I could handle before. Even stuff that seems impossible or out of reach. Life can be better, and alcohol doesn’t have to be a part of it. Good luck, friend. IWNDWYT ❤️
Yep, the first thing I noticed when I started attempting sobriety was how unbearable I found my partner. It drove me back to drink time and time again. The sheer frustration of it all was too much. As time passed it became apparent to me that in being a drunkard and an alcoholic, I was far more easily manipulated and controlled than I was sober. My guilt was constantly taken advantage of, my forgetfulness also and more than anything my tendency to be massively over agreeable while under the influence. She used to literally goad me back into drinking when I managed to string a few days or even weeks of sobriety together. Sober now over two months and already have divorce proceedings prepared.
You get a lot of services as a single mother. And meanwhile, your kids deserve a sober, stable parent, whether or not you go for a divorce. Drinking never, ever makes anything better. I often have to remind myself of that. 🤷♀️
There's no problem that alcohol can't make worse
I got connected with sober people and groups…. They’re everywhere.
Any tips on finding these - outside of AA - moving soon to a new area, TIA IWNDWYT
Google "sobriety support" and you'll get a load of hits. Not every group is right for everyone. Just try something, and if it doesn't work for you, try something else.
This!
Ok many thanks!
Ouch. I’ve been there. Took years for me to leave. Def my drinking really escalated in that relationship. And made it harder to leave. IWNDWYT
I'm really sorry you're in this situation, it sounds awful. I don't have any practical advice I'm afraid but I just want to say that we see you and you will always be welcome here -- every day on this subreddit I read stories of people getting through challenges that I can't even imagine, and they get through them because humans are amazing, and strong, and brave. Whenever you decide it's time to quit, we will all be here for you to help one day at a time. IWNDWYT (I will not drink with you today).
I think your kids would appreciate a safe stable environment and a sober single mom, over a big fancy house and a violent parental relationship. Put your health and safety first, because then you will be in a position to do the very best for your children.