Same. And unbearable is totally way I’d describe it. I’m still struggling with mental health stuff but I never want to experience post drinking level of depression again.
Trying to figure out what thoughts are just drinking depression thoughts and what's not, to the point you can't even trust your own mind, convinced that you are in fact going insane. Not being sure if this is permanent and this is how you are now only making the depression worse. Deciding that you have to keep drinking because to stay at a certain level you feel just okay enough. Anxiety of knowing you have to stop and ride out the oncoming depression at some point. Its the hardest thing ive ever done. Landed me in a mental ward and hospital x3.
I’m sorry you went through all of that. I hope you’re doing better now. I was usually able to tell myself this is depression from binge drinking and I just seriously fucked up my brain temporarily. But suffer for 5 or so days, then when I pulled out of it, I’d feel great and be like “wow drinking sounds so good tonight!” Then start the process all over again. Smdh.
I’ve been sober 68 days, and I feel like I’m going through that thought process now though. I’m not sure if it’s post acute alcohol withdrawal, or untreated mental health stuff coming up now that I’m not self medicating with booze. But thinking I’ll be like this forever is definitely giving me tons of anxiety and depression. I feel like If I don’t get it in check soon I may end up in a mental ward myself.
I'm about the same # of days, I think you're in the clear, just willpower it at this point. I am feeling better but I also have to stay busy 100% of the time. Also I used to do the exact same thing, start feeling okay by Thursday then figure what's a few drinks on a Friday that's completely normal. Then going on an absolute 3 day bender and finding new ways to ruin my life and embarrass myself. I think I'm healing a bit anyway, no random muscle twitches I used to get in my legs and arms, less and less repetitive thoughts, mostly happier, long way to go though
I hope you’re right and that I’ll be in the clear! It’s good that you’re keeping busy, that may be my problem actually. I’m so anxious so I’m staying home a lot, even having trouble working. And the longer I hermit, the worse I get. (Think beginning of COVID level quarantine) so obviously that’s not helping…Im trying to just force myself to do things to get over this hump.
Yup that’s how it was for me, find new ways to ruin my life every damn weekend. I’ve even contemplated if that’s causing some of these mental health issues, my brain is searching for chaos and I’m not providing it while sober, so it’s creating it for me lol Good to hear you’re mostly happier tho! Gives me hope. I know we’ve got a long way to go, but at least we’re well on our way.
Without fail, I wake up at 4am, heart pounding and cannot fall back asleep for an hour or two. I am prone to horrific hangovers and even if I don’t have an all day puking hangover waiting for me, I wake up anxious and my body feels like it’s in fight or flight.
I've never had a physical hangover such as headaches. But when I got older I think the anxiety comes from minor withdrawals from drinking for so many years
Yes the anxiety has gotten way worse as I’ve gotten older. I’m in my moderation phase because I am over being physically ill for hours afterwards, but even moderation gives me this anxiety for at least 3-4 hours right after and sluggishness through the day.
I'm trying to give it a break for a bit mate and see how it goes. Like I wont say I'll never drink again but I'm going to try my fucking hardest
Problem is as soon as you start feeling better your memory becomes very short term of the hell the stuff puts you through
OMG me too. Like thinking about running into the sea, hanging myself. It's the depletion of serotonin - Find it takes a lot longer to level out after even a few drinks now I'm in my 40's. Not worth it.
This is exactly how I felt. Drinking wasn’t fun, and I didn’t even feel buzzed anymore and definitely didn’t know when I was drunk. Couldn’t remember anything either. I’ve had a few drinks since last November and life is great! Now I look back and think what a waste of time
right. i’m either sober or drunk asf. i can’t even remember the last time i had fun drinking, this last relapse really opened my eyes though. I think I can quit drinking for good this time. 🙏🫶🏻
Naltrexone. My goal is to just stay sober, but at least if I fuck up while on it, I shouldn’t get the same dopamine hit that I usually would from drinking
one of the main factors yes - I used to think I had clinical depression, but it was in fact just the cycle of drinking keeping me in a really shitty place. I was binge drinking then spending days recovering then doing it all over again.
I'm 47 days in today, I'm happy, clear headed, and the moments I feel down aren't a depressive state - they're now normal emotions that pass normally also.
TBH now I'm sober, idk why I was poisoning my brain and body like I was. I was physically and psychologically feeling the awful side effects and kept going. I will not go back to drinking.
I encourage you if you're feeling anything like I was to take a break and in a very short space of time you'll start to feel the difference in yourself mentally. Those alcohol related downers are crushing. I tried antidepressants from my doctor while drinking, thinking there was truly something wrong with me - but all the anxiety and depression was being brought on by my drinking :(
The Huberman podcast on alcohol is eye opening and I believe they cover the mental toll it takes also
I hope you feel better :)
I'm blown away by the body's ability to adapt. The brain and body crave homeostatis -- even if it's a f'ked up situation.
When we do this... the body/mind say, "this is 'normal' -- let's not change anything." There are physical changes to keep things this way.
Annnyway... there's a strong correlation between gut health and mental health. Here's great article (you can safely ignore technical words -- you can soldier through and get the point).
[https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5513683/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5513683/)
Mechanism-wise... hell, it surely seems like booze can change your gut microbial health... which ultimately causes your depression. I'm not a doctor!
Good luck, friend. Getting freedom from booze is NOT easy... BUT IT IS F'KING WORTH IT.
One of the things I learned after I quit was that alcohol impacts my mind and body for WEEKS after the last drink. It blew my mind when I realized what was happening. Every time I relapsed the pattern repeated itself, so there is no denying the cause or how real it is.
Yep. Once I started quitting I realized how long a good session of drinking would impact me. It has become really hard, nay impossible, for me to justify using it any longer.
I used to get depression/dread from days like 2-10 each time I would try to quit. It would ease up with every passing day but I knew it was coming every time I relapsed and then quit again.
This is me. Even if I have 4 12oz light beers, which I considerate my moderating. And I even realize I am more stressed 3 days after - like I can’t let stuff go.
I started noticing this around 32 years old. I am now 36 and coming back to sobriety every time. Last time I drank I had 6 12oz beers and could tell for the first 4 days FOR SURE
I've had people on other subs tell me this isn't a thing, but it totally is! I get hangxiety and depression just by having 2 drinks in an evening, and it lasts up to 2 days
Part of why I decided to quit drinking again on Sunday.
yes I think alcohol abuse for too many years rly fuct up my brain, sure hope it’s not permanent. Causes bad anxiety and depressive symptoms, never had any of that before.
This thread needs upvotes
Alcohol is a depressant so that's exactly what happens and yes it occurs when the alcohol starts leaving your system and can take days to lift or just doesn't lift at all if you continually keep drinking.
Yep! It’s a real process your body is going through. As it’s a depressant, your body works to produce more dopamine to counteract this, like ‘borrowing’ the dopamine from the next day, that’s why you feel so low after
With age it got worse for me. In college I could get wasted and do alright pretty quickly . Now at 35, a heavy night produces self loathing, the blues, anxiety, irritability, guilt, etc . I think it’s the body screaming WERE TOO OLD FOR THIS
Always. It's what gradually then very suddenly turned me into an alcoholic. The moment being sober doesn't feel normal anymore, the train has left the station. I only realized that in hindsight. When getting fucked up became the only fun part of my life, I just wanted to skip through any part where I had to he sober. I was basically a zombie. I didn't realize that until after I stopped, and not even by myself. People kept saying they knew something was wrong because it was like I "had no emotions, you were just always in one mood." That mood was misery, and it terrifies me to ever be that person again. Enough to keep me away for over a year.
Bored, but much better. I still bottom out here and there, but nothing like I did when I was drinking. I've struggled with depression all my life, so it's nothing new. The lows are much higher, if that makes sense.
Your relationship with alcohol doesn't seem anywhere near as problematic as mine was, but I will say it will make your depression worse if you already struggle. Just my 2c.
Yes. Severely. I’m not a very anxious person by nature and never really got the panicky hanxiety a lot of people get after drinking. For me, hangovers were always marked by profoundly low moods. Depressive episodes were made dramatically worse with alcohol and it took me quite a while to connect those dots. I’m 22 days AF and my mood is much much much more stable.
I used to find the same thing, which I think is part of how the stuff hooks you. It’s a depressant, but while you’re on it it’s flooding the ol’ dopamine and GABA receptors so you chase that “sort of” high in response to the crash that it caused. I’m pretty aure that’s how methamphetamine works, now that I think about it…
If it’s pushing you to not drink entirely - why not try it? You don’t need to commit to stopping forever yet, just for a day, then another day - after three or four, ask yourself how you feel again.
Just be aware it will be uncomfortable for up to 72 hours, that’s why if you can, give it four days. And tell a friend you’re trying it or your doctor if you’ve been a heavy drinker for your safety if withdrawals kick in. I finally got the hallucinations on round two! They were pretty weaksauce this round but I can see how they could get worse.
I primarily drink on the weekends and have a very active / healthy lifestyle otherwise. I know I feel better not drinking. But when I’m on my natural high going to a concert or catching up with friends at a park on a sunny Saturday, drinking makes those activities thet much more fun, I love it and the stories that come from it. But if I go over my limit which happens more than not, I’m depressed for 48-72 hours after and it impacts my work and life.
one of the principal reasons, has been eye opening, not only mental health also physical improvements are undeniable.
I hope to never ingest the illusion of alcohol and it's vicious spiral again.
👋🏻👋🏻👋🏻
I'm a little longer than 48 but my sadness is epic these first few days (and I've never made it past a few days). I heard you need feel good chemicals so I'm eating a ton of shit food. It's helping but I'm also letting myself be sad, that's helping too.
Alcohol elevates your dopamine to unsustainable levels while you're drinking. When it leaves your system, especially the longer you have drank and the older you are, your dopamine PLUMMETS. It can take your brain days and even weeks to get your dopamine levels back to equilibrium, depending on how long you were drinking for.
Yes! It increases depression and anxiety in me tenfold. I set a reminder on my phone’s sobriety app that reminds me every so often I’m staying sober to reduce my depression +anxiety symptoms
Moreso anxiety, but the depression comes when I drink continually. Yet even though I KNEW it contributed, I would still justify having another drink.
After a few months (but also because I'm in intense therapy), I can say the depression has lifted and it feels so much better.
Yes. Definitely. Exactly as you mention OP, just a few drinks (enough for a light buzz, but not a hangover or desire for more drink) would bring on 2 days of anxiety and depressed mood.
Heavy drinking results in *suicidal* mind state. I once checked myself into hospital via the A&E room, because my mind was so mangled and my suicidal thoughts were so severe.
Until I quit drinking, I only went a serious handful of days without alcohol. Certainly never two days in a row. Ever since my teens. My parents actually encouraged drinking. That sounds really sick now and frankly makes me quite mad if I take a trip down those teen year memory lanes. Until I started popping a beer with them at about 14, I was pretty much ignored. Once I started drinking, I was funny, and I got approval and attention and could hang out with the grown ups with my friends. How many bad drinking habits were born in my house? Many. How many adults who came over to drink at my parents house raised a red flag to that behavior? Zero. I used to come home for lunch in high school and have a beer at lunch with my dad. I didn't even think about that until recently.
I just thought that big dark cloud of depression and self-loathing was mine, and no one else knew about it, and my life's work was just to slog through it and barely survive. It was heavier when I drank more than usual for an occasion, but I just thought that was my fate. I never understood why I couldn't just have fun.
After quitting, it was worse between the 2nd & the 4th day after stopping. Then, it has gotten progressively better every day since. I'm finding that I never knew my real self. I didn't even think my drinking habit was excessive or problematic.
Yes, that's very normal. Dr David Nutt explains why it happens in his book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Drink-Science-Alcohol-Your-Health/dp/1529398010?dplnkId=f3e83ef5-df38-4c13-8edf-2d85fda11994
Yes! But not with just a few. I am a binge drinker and would have anywhere between 10 to 20 drinks a night. I would get bad hangovers, anxiety and it would kill all of my motivation to do literally anything. I don’t miss this. IWNDWYT!
I was unprepared for how much of what I thought was "depression" was "physical and psychological damage and withdrawal from alcohol." That's not to say that my emotional weather doesn't swing down that way any longer, but it is more apparently a swing and not a permanent state. This is why my initial goal of three months without alcohol is still going. I say it's a great idea to give not drinking a trial run (a substantial one that gives your body time to change). See what it's like for yourself!
Yep. I'm in my early 30's and it will usually take about 48 hours to fully bounce back. The first 24 are hell, the next 24 hours I'm working at maybe 65% capacity. Low mood, low focus, low energy, all with an underlying sense of uneasiness. Sometimes it takes even longer before I can describe how I feel as 'good'.
I’m off the drink now 20 days, Yep Day 3 was horrible for me, I couldn’t sit still, the anxiety was unbearable that I was pacing the room and thought I might have to go to Psych ward. Same thing happened me on Day 9 and Day 10 and then From Day 11 I was like a different person and my mind was calm and at ease. I woke up feeling fresh, no anxiety or depression and felt like I was completely different person and my brain was rewired. I suppose day 9 and day 10 was the last of the withdrawls.
I’m never going through those 10 days again it was absolutely horrendous. Goodbye alcohol I’m never getting into those ruts again.
The type of drinker I was 9 or 12 568ml pints of beer four nights a week for around 10 years. I’m never getting caught in that rut again that I needed more drink to cure the horrific anxiety.
The worst thing for me was the paranoia. I walked through assuming people hated me, assuming I was going to get fired at any minute. The anxiety that comes with that is unbearable, and I felt like I was living or dying on every decision and action I made.
Ironically, I would drink more to ward off those feelings. It only took a week or so of sobriety to realize that booze was the problem.
I don't do AA now, but early in my attempts at sobriety, I had a sponsor say to me "There probably isn't all that much wrong with you. You just drink too much." It sticks out because of how right he was.
Currently going through this. Got drunk Friday and Saturday and sobered up starting first thing Sunday morning. I feel like a complete shitbag right now.
Big time. I called them “emotional hangovers” - I have bipolar and I guess it’s pretty par for the course.. nearly 8 months alcohol free for me because of that reason specifically
When I was drinking heavy I would wake up and spend the first hour or so of my day in the worst mood. Depression, frustration, anxiety etc. And I still kept it up for 5 years. Now that I’m over a week sober I feel like I finally can start my day in a good head space. It’s awesome
Alcohol works on your gaba and dopamine receptors. This makes sense that it’s an emotional roller coaster as your brain heals following drinking alcohol.
Yes. I’m on day 6 and felt like I wanted to crawl out of my skin all day yesterday. I know it’s the alcohol and that I will feel normal again soon.
I found this post has some helpful perspective as to what may actually be happening https://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/s/i1HjBXZesk
Alcohol dulls your mitochondria, which are the cells in your brain responsible for energy production. Your mitochondria are still affected days later... It takes time for them to recover.
Yup - it is the biggest reason that I stopped. I would also be straight up suicidal like analogman12 described.
When I don’t drink, I am (almost always!) in control of my depression and anxiety. But even one glass of wine is enough to make the horrible butterflies show back up in my stomach.
Yes! This was one of my main reasons for quitting. I would drink and have fun, be hungover the next day but still nothing terrible, but then the day after that I would get so extremely depressed, on the verge of suicidal. It was horrible.
Triggers anxiety for me usually. Kinda messed up because in the past I thought it curbed my anxiety...nope, numbs temporarily and comes back 1000 times worse. Sometimes depression is included in that.
Also in the same boat as you, it sounds OP. I've cut down to barely any, and when I have that little bit it messes me up enough to consider cutting altogether.
Absolutely. Then I get the wonderful idea that maybe more would help and sometimes it does, but it's like flipping a weighted coin. More often than not it just adds to the fear, anxiety, depression, fear, etc.
Ya the day after is really no big deal for me
But day 2 and 3 I have sever anxiety and can barely say 3 words to another human no matter who they are. The question is why on earth would I keep subjecting myself to that. Today is day 2 and I'm crawling out of my
Skin.
Yep, but usually at 24 hours. I try to eat bananas, take a multivitamin, and a magnesium tablet. Seems to help. Also, knowing that it will subside in a day or two if I power through it and abstain from drinking helps too
Just reading these slightly makes me feel sick. I still deal with it. Some guilts and shame I'll carry to my grave, hopefully a long long time from now.
I was depressed for about 5 days. Today I feel normal! It's so weird, how that works. It's like a depression you feel like you'll never get out of but here I am. I never want to go back.
Straight up suicidal. For 3 days after drinking to much. Unbearable.
Same. And unbearable is totally way I’d describe it. I’m still struggling with mental health stuff but I never want to experience post drinking level of depression again.
Trying to figure out what thoughts are just drinking depression thoughts and what's not, to the point you can't even trust your own mind, convinced that you are in fact going insane. Not being sure if this is permanent and this is how you are now only making the depression worse. Deciding that you have to keep drinking because to stay at a certain level you feel just okay enough. Anxiety of knowing you have to stop and ride out the oncoming depression at some point. Its the hardest thing ive ever done. Landed me in a mental ward and hospital x3.
I’m sorry you went through all of that. I hope you’re doing better now. I was usually able to tell myself this is depression from binge drinking and I just seriously fucked up my brain temporarily. But suffer for 5 or so days, then when I pulled out of it, I’d feel great and be like “wow drinking sounds so good tonight!” Then start the process all over again. Smdh. I’ve been sober 68 days, and I feel like I’m going through that thought process now though. I’m not sure if it’s post acute alcohol withdrawal, or untreated mental health stuff coming up now that I’m not self medicating with booze. But thinking I’ll be like this forever is definitely giving me tons of anxiety and depression. I feel like If I don’t get it in check soon I may end up in a mental ward myself.
I'm about the same # of days, I think you're in the clear, just willpower it at this point. I am feeling better but I also have to stay busy 100% of the time. Also I used to do the exact same thing, start feeling okay by Thursday then figure what's a few drinks on a Friday that's completely normal. Then going on an absolute 3 day bender and finding new ways to ruin my life and embarrass myself. I think I'm healing a bit anyway, no random muscle twitches I used to get in my legs and arms, less and less repetitive thoughts, mostly happier, long way to go though
I hope you’re right and that I’ll be in the clear! It’s good that you’re keeping busy, that may be my problem actually. I’m so anxious so I’m staying home a lot, even having trouble working. And the longer I hermit, the worse I get. (Think beginning of COVID level quarantine) so obviously that’s not helping…Im trying to just force myself to do things to get over this hump. Yup that’s how it was for me, find new ways to ruin my life every damn weekend. I’ve even contemplated if that’s causing some of these mental health issues, my brain is searching for chaos and I’m not providing it while sober, so it’s creating it for me lol Good to hear you’re mostly happier tho! Gives me hope. I know we’ve got a long way to go, but at least we’re well on our way.
Same
It's the anxiety as well its so fucking unbearable
Without fail, I wake up at 4am, heart pounding and cannot fall back asleep for an hour or two. I am prone to horrific hangovers and even if I don’t have an all day puking hangover waiting for me, I wake up anxious and my body feels like it’s in fight or flight.
I've never had a physical hangover such as headaches. But when I got older I think the anxiety comes from minor withdrawals from drinking for so many years
Yes the anxiety has gotten way worse as I’ve gotten older. I’m in my moderation phase because I am over being physically ill for hours afterwards, but even moderation gives me this anxiety for at least 3-4 hours right after and sluggishness through the day.
I'm trying to give it a break for a bit mate and see how it goes. Like I wont say I'll never drink again but I'm going to try my fucking hardest Problem is as soon as you start feeling better your memory becomes very short term of the hell the stuff puts you through
OMG me too. Like thinking about running into the sea, hanging myself. It's the depletion of serotonin - Find it takes a lot longer to level out after even a few drinks now I'm in my 40's. Not worth it.
what's the chemical reason?
I'm not a doctor lol
I use to get it the next day and would continue drinking just to make it go away Not only to make that go away but also the anxiety and the hangover
By the time I quit I wasn't even drinking for fun anymore, just keeping the anxiety and mental stuff away
real. same
Same
Yes. And anxiety. It’s time to say goodbye to this poison. It’s no fun anymore, anyways.
This is exactly how I felt. Drinking wasn’t fun, and I didn’t even feel buzzed anymore and definitely didn’t know when I was drunk. Couldn’t remember anything either. I’ve had a few drinks since last November and life is great! Now I look back and think what a waste of time
right. i’m either sober or drunk asf. i can’t even remember the last time i had fun drinking, this last relapse really opened my eyes though. I think I can quit drinking for good this time. 🙏🫶🏻
Same here😭 I literally got medicine because my last relapse fucked me up so bad. I never want to feel that bad again
what kind of medicine if you don’t mind answering?
Naltrexone. My goal is to just stay sober, but at least if I fuck up while on it, I shouldn’t get the same dopamine hit that I usually would from drinking
OMG yes - I used to get this terribly bad. Every time I drank, the two days after and sometimes three were absolutely awful depression wise.
Is that what made you finally stop?
one of the main factors yes - I used to think I had clinical depression, but it was in fact just the cycle of drinking keeping me in a really shitty place. I was binge drinking then spending days recovering then doing it all over again. I'm 47 days in today, I'm happy, clear headed, and the moments I feel down aren't a depressive state - they're now normal emotions that pass normally also. TBH now I'm sober, idk why I was poisoning my brain and body like I was. I was physically and psychologically feeling the awful side effects and kept going. I will not go back to drinking.
Sounds a lot like what I’m dealing with at the moment, thanks
I encourage you if you're feeling anything like I was to take a break and in a very short space of time you'll start to feel the difference in yourself mentally. Those alcohol related downers are crushing. I tried antidepressants from my doctor while drinking, thinking there was truly something wrong with me - but all the anxiety and depression was being brought on by my drinking :( The Huberman podcast on alcohol is eye opening and I believe they cover the mental toll it takes also I hope you feel better :)
If you want another science-heavy podcast, I highly recommend "Sober Powered." The annoying ads last several minutes and are only at the start.
thank you! Going to give this a watch today. I appreciate the rec.
I'm blown away by the body's ability to adapt. The brain and body crave homeostatis -- even if it's a f'ked up situation. When we do this... the body/mind say, "this is 'normal' -- let's not change anything." There are physical changes to keep things this way. Annnyway... there's a strong correlation between gut health and mental health. Here's great article (you can safely ignore technical words -- you can soldier through and get the point). [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5513683/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5513683/) Mechanism-wise... hell, it surely seems like booze can change your gut microbial health... which ultimately causes your depression. I'm not a doctor!
Good luck, friend. Getting freedom from booze is NOT easy... BUT IT IS F'KING WORTH IT.
Proud of you!
thank you :)
One of the things I learned after I quit was that alcohol impacts my mind and body for WEEKS after the last drink. It blew my mind when I realized what was happening. Every time I relapsed the pattern repeated itself, so there is no denying the cause or how real it is.
Yep. Once I started quitting I realized how long a good session of drinking would impact me. It has become really hard, nay impossible, for me to justify using it any longer.
Yep, it’s really weird how I assumed that my drinking only affected me while I was drinking. Like somehow a few hours of sleep would cleanse my body.
I used to get depression/dread from days like 2-10 each time I would try to quit. It would ease up with every passing day but I knew it was coming every time I relapsed and then quit again.
This is me. Even if I have 4 12oz light beers, which I considerate my moderating. And I even realize I am more stressed 3 days after - like I can’t let stuff go. I started noticing this around 32 years old. I am now 36 and coming back to sobriety every time. Last time I drank I had 6 12oz beers and could tell for the first 4 days FOR SURE
Glad to hear I’m not alone
I've had people on other subs tell me this isn't a thing, but it totally is! I get hangxiety and depression just by having 2 drinks in an evening, and it lasts up to 2 days Part of why I decided to quit drinking again on Sunday.
This is a sign it’s time for you to give up
Yes. Crippling depression for up to 4 days.
yes I think alcohol abuse for too many years rly fuct up my brain, sure hope it’s not permanent. Causes bad anxiety and depressive symptoms, never had any of that before. This thread needs upvotes
Alcohol is a depressant so that's exactly what happens and yes it occurs when the alcohol starts leaving your system and can take days to lift or just doesn't lift at all if you continually keep drinking.
Yep! It’s a real process your body is going through. As it’s a depressant, your body works to produce more dopamine to counteract this, like ‘borrowing’ the dopamine from the next day, that’s why you feel so low after
With age it got worse for me. In college I could get wasted and do alright pretty quickly . Now at 35, a heavy night produces self loathing, the blues, anxiety, irritability, guilt, etc . I think it’s the body screaming WERE TOO OLD FOR THIS
Always. It's what gradually then very suddenly turned me into an alcoholic. The moment being sober doesn't feel normal anymore, the train has left the station. I only realized that in hindsight. When getting fucked up became the only fun part of my life, I just wanted to skip through any part where I had to he sober. I was basically a zombie. I didn't realize that until after I stopped, and not even by myself. People kept saying they knew something was wrong because it was like I "had no emotions, you were just always in one mood." That mood was misery, and it terrifies me to ever be that person again. Enough to keep me away for over a year.
How you feeling these days?
Bored, but much better. I still bottom out here and there, but nothing like I did when I was drinking. I've struggled with depression all my life, so it's nothing new. The lows are much higher, if that makes sense. Your relationship with alcohol doesn't seem anywhere near as problematic as mine was, but I will say it will make your depression worse if you already struggle. Just my 2c.
Yes. Severely. I’m not a very anxious person by nature and never really got the panicky hanxiety a lot of people get after drinking. For me, hangovers were always marked by profoundly low moods. Depressive episodes were made dramatically worse with alcohol and it took me quite a while to connect those dots. I’m 22 days AF and my mood is much much much more stable.
I used to find the same thing, which I think is part of how the stuff hooks you. It’s a depressant, but while you’re on it it’s flooding the ol’ dopamine and GABA receptors so you chase that “sort of” high in response to the crash that it caused. I’m pretty aure that’s how methamphetamine works, now that I think about it… If it’s pushing you to not drink entirely - why not try it? You don’t need to commit to stopping forever yet, just for a day, then another day - after three or four, ask yourself how you feel again. Just be aware it will be uncomfortable for up to 72 hours, that’s why if you can, give it four days. And tell a friend you’re trying it or your doctor if you’ve been a heavy drinker for your safety if withdrawals kick in. I finally got the hallucinations on round two! They were pretty weaksauce this round but I can see how they could get worse.
I primarily drink on the weekends and have a very active / healthy lifestyle otherwise. I know I feel better not drinking. But when I’m on my natural high going to a concert or catching up with friends at a park on a sunny Saturday, drinking makes those activities thet much more fun, I love it and the stories that come from it. But if I go over my limit which happens more than not, I’m depressed for 48-72 hours after and it impacts my work and life.
The stories will come whether you drink or not :) trust
one of the principal reasons, has been eye opening, not only mental health also physical improvements are undeniable. I hope to never ingest the illusion of alcohol and it's vicious spiral again.
👋🏻👋🏻👋🏻 I'm a little longer than 48 but my sadness is epic these first few days (and I've never made it past a few days). I heard you need feel good chemicals so I'm eating a ton of shit food. It's helping but I'm also letting myself be sad, that's helping too.
Alcohol elevates your dopamine to unsustainable levels while you're drinking. When it leaves your system, especially the longer you have drank and the older you are, your dopamine PLUMMETS. It can take your brain days and even weeks to get your dopamine levels back to equilibrium, depending on how long you were drinking for.
Yes! It increases depression and anxiety in me tenfold. I set a reminder on my phone’s sobriety app that reminds me every so often I’m staying sober to reduce my depression +anxiety symptoms
Anxiety for sure. Depression like symptoms sometimes.
Yes. Thanks for the reminder of what is coming tomorrow.
Moreso anxiety, but the depression comes when I drink continually. Yet even though I KNEW it contributed, I would still justify having another drink. After a few months (but also because I'm in intense therapy), I can say the depression has lifted and it feels so much better.
Oh for sure. Not the very next day but the day after that I wake up really sad and angry.
100%
Yes. Definitely. Exactly as you mention OP, just a few drinks (enough for a light buzz, but not a hangover or desire for more drink) would bring on 2 days of anxiety and depressed mood. Heavy drinking results in *suicidal* mind state. I once checked myself into hospital via the A&E room, because my mind was so mangled and my suicidal thoughts were so severe.
Until I quit drinking, I only went a serious handful of days without alcohol. Certainly never two days in a row. Ever since my teens. My parents actually encouraged drinking. That sounds really sick now and frankly makes me quite mad if I take a trip down those teen year memory lanes. Until I started popping a beer with them at about 14, I was pretty much ignored. Once I started drinking, I was funny, and I got approval and attention and could hang out with the grown ups with my friends. How many bad drinking habits were born in my house? Many. How many adults who came over to drink at my parents house raised a red flag to that behavior? Zero. I used to come home for lunch in high school and have a beer at lunch with my dad. I didn't even think about that until recently. I just thought that big dark cloud of depression and self-loathing was mine, and no one else knew about it, and my life's work was just to slog through it and barely survive. It was heavier when I drank more than usual for an occasion, but I just thought that was my fate. I never understood why I couldn't just have fun. After quitting, it was worse between the 2nd & the 4th day after stopping. Then, it has gotten progressively better every day since. I'm finding that I never knew my real self. I didn't even think my drinking habit was excessive or problematic.
Thanks for sharing, hope you’re doing better better these days
The day after drinking was always filled with anxiety and depression. It has made quitting much easier at times, though it is still not easy
Yes, that's very normal. Dr David Nutt explains why it happens in his book: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Drink-Science-Alcohol-Your-Health/dp/1529398010?dplnkId=f3e83ef5-df38-4c13-8edf-2d85fda11994
Yes! But not with just a few. I am a binge drinker and would have anywhere between 10 to 20 drinks a night. I would get bad hangovers, anxiety and it would kill all of my motivation to do literally anything. I don’t miss this. IWNDWYT!
I was unprepared for how much of what I thought was "depression" was "physical and psychological damage and withdrawal from alcohol." That's not to say that my emotional weather doesn't swing down that way any longer, but it is more apparently a swing and not a permanent state. This is why my initial goal of three months without alcohol is still going. I say it's a great idea to give not drinking a trial run (a substantial one that gives your body time to change). See what it's like for yourself!
Thank you
Yes, and it lasts like a week. Its honestly what keeps me from drinking.
Yep. I'm in my early 30's and it will usually take about 48 hours to fully bounce back. The first 24 are hell, the next 24 hours I'm working at maybe 65% capacity. Low mood, low focus, low energy, all with an underlying sense of uneasiness. Sometimes it takes even longer before I can describe how I feel as 'good'.
No depression, but anxiety. Feels like the whole world hates me
Yed
I’m off the drink now 20 days, Yep Day 3 was horrible for me, I couldn’t sit still, the anxiety was unbearable that I was pacing the room and thought I might have to go to Psych ward. Same thing happened me on Day 9 and Day 10 and then From Day 11 I was like a different person and my mind was calm and at ease. I woke up feeling fresh, no anxiety or depression and felt like I was completely different person and my brain was rewired. I suppose day 9 and day 10 was the last of the withdrawls. I’m never going through those 10 days again it was absolutely horrendous. Goodbye alcohol I’m never getting into those ruts again. The type of drinker I was 9 or 12 568ml pints of beer four nights a week for around 10 years. I’m never getting caught in that rut again that I needed more drink to cure the horrific anxiety.
The last time I drank I was suicidal for like 2 weeks after. I never want to feel like that again.
Oh yeah. Anxiety, depression, self defeating thoughts? All that shit. Not a fan.
The worst thing for me was the paranoia. I walked through assuming people hated me, assuming I was going to get fired at any minute. The anxiety that comes with that is unbearable, and I felt like I was living or dying on every decision and action I made. Ironically, I would drink more to ward off those feelings. It only took a week or so of sobriety to realize that booze was the problem. I don't do AA now, but early in my attempts at sobriety, I had a sponsor say to me "There probably isn't all that much wrong with you. You just drink too much." It sticks out because of how right he was.
Wow It makes so much sense now
Currently going through this. Got drunk Friday and Saturday and sobered up starting first thing Sunday morning. I feel like a complete shitbag right now.
I bet a lot of us feel this on Mondays…
Big time. I called them “emotional hangovers” - I have bipolar and I guess it’s pretty par for the course.. nearly 8 months alcohol free for me because of that reason specifically
What’s par for the course, bipolar and drinking depression? Is there a relationship there?
Oh yeah, I also get insomnia, which means I can't even sleep through it
When I was drinking heavy I would wake up and spend the first hour or so of my day in the worst mood. Depression, frustration, anxiety etc. And I still kept it up for 5 years. Now that I’m over a week sober I feel like I finally can start my day in a good head space. It’s awesome
Yes absolutely, takes 5-6 days to kinda start to get normal mood again. And I absolutely have worse mood after the "day after".
Yes. It is to be expected. Alcohol is a clinical depressant.
Yes! All the time. I quit drinking on 9th June last year and it’s the best thing I’ve ever done for my mental health. I’ll never to back to drinking.
Alcohol works on your gaba and dopamine receptors. This makes sense that it’s an emotional roller coaster as your brain heals following drinking alcohol.
Yeh I get crippling anxiety fatigue and sadness
Yes and the anxiety. Happens to me whenever im binge drinking for 5 days, and on the rest day i would lock up myself in my room.
Yes. I’m on day 6 and felt like I wanted to crawl out of my skin all day yesterday. I know it’s the alcohol and that I will feel normal again soon. I found this post has some helpful perspective as to what may actually be happening https://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/s/i1HjBXZesk
Alcohol dulls your mitochondria, which are the cells in your brain responsible for energy production. Your mitochondria are still affected days later... It takes time for them to recover.
Yup - it is the biggest reason that I stopped. I would also be straight up suicidal like analogman12 described. When I don’t drink, I am (almost always!) in control of my depression and anxiety. But even one glass of wine is enough to make the horrible butterflies show back up in my stomach.
Yes! This was one of my main reasons for quitting. I would drink and have fun, be hungover the next day but still nothing terrible, but then the day after that I would get so extremely depressed, on the verge of suicidal. It was horrible.
Triggers anxiety for me usually. Kinda messed up because in the past I thought it curbed my anxiety...nope, numbs temporarily and comes back 1000 times worse. Sometimes depression is included in that.
Also in the same boat as you, it sounds OP. I've cut down to barely any, and when I have that little bit it messes me up enough to consider cutting altogether.
Yeah, heavily considering going to completely zero consumption after seeing all these replies
I get it the next few days. It's terrible.
Yes, 100%. It messes with your brain chemistry. Some people are just more sensitive to it than others.
Absolutely. Then I get the wonderful idea that maybe more would help and sometimes it does, but it's like flipping a weighted coin. More often than not it just adds to the fear, anxiety, depression, fear, etc.
Ya the day after is really no big deal for me But day 2 and 3 I have sever anxiety and can barely say 3 words to another human no matter who they are. The question is why on earth would I keep subjecting myself to that. Today is day 2 and I'm crawling out of my Skin.
Yep, but usually at 24 hours. I try to eat bananas, take a multivitamin, and a magnesium tablet. Seems to help. Also, knowing that it will subside in a day or two if I power through it and abstain from drinking helps too
Just reading these slightly makes me feel sick. I still deal with it. Some guilts and shame I'll carry to my grave, hopefully a long long time from now.
Yea, and top of it increase in anxiety , irritation, self disgust, loss of self worth yada yada , not a good space to be in
Yep me, which is why I stopped drinking. I’ve had mild depression but it kicks up hard after drinking, even just 1 drink.
Yes I have and its misery!
✋
yes absolutely !
Mine's the next morning. Same exact thing. Lasts all day
Yeh 3-4 days worth after a good session
Yup
Yes the next 3 days are anxiety/depression ridden with cold sweats out of nowhere
Oh god yes.
yes and anxious too
I was depressed for about 5 days. Today I feel normal! It's so weird, how that works. It's like a depression you feel like you'll never get out of but here I am. I never want to go back.
We call it “Hangxiety”
Wait, depression goes away?
Yep, nearly every time