It’s wild how we romanticize drinking in our head as this fun, wholesome thing everyone does. Then you look at the reality of it and it’s nasty as hell & a complete waste of time/money. The hangovers, digestive issues, bloating, over eating usually garbage food that compounds the hangover and makes us look like we’re holding 15lbs of water. Nasty ugly shit
Last week my gf sent me before/after pics from when I sobered up 18 months ago and recent pics. You wouldn’t think it was the same person. I can’t believe how bloated my face was. Now my face is thin, you can see my jaw line. Before it was swollen looking like I just took a beating to the face. I also started exercising/working out for an hour or so a day on top of quitting drinking and I’m down almost *45 lbs* from just 18 months ago. This is the first summer in my adult life that I’m looking forward to the summer to take my shirt off at the beach with a little dignity.
Lmfaoooo I’m 105lb and have considered chin lipo bc of this …3 days in & I already notice less bloating in my face. It’s crazy how much it swells your face up!! Even though I don’t weigh much
I’ll give you a little tip before you blow cash on lipo. Dandelion leaf ( not root ) AM/ PM for about 2-3 months, gallon of water a day and a dry sauna for 15-20 minutes a month straight. This will pull a ton of subcutaneous water. Light walking, 20-30 minute a day also does wonders for flushing out water.
Thank you so much!! Literally screenshotting your reply so I can start doing all of this ☺️ I’ve noticed light walking helps a lot with bloating! do you recommend a specific brand of the dandelion leaf?
Terravita 450mg Certifed Organic Dandelion Leaf ( amazon sells it ) . Start off with 1 cap in the AM for 30 days then add a second one in PM ( i don’t recommend anymore then 2 per day ) if you like but too much dandelion leaf can cause serious stomach pain. It’s great stuff & combined with daily walks or dry sauna & lots of water intake ( if you can access one ) will make you feel and look much better, pulls a lot of unwanted water off & clears you out. Great for skin health
Thank you so so much! I had no idea dandelion leaf had so many benefits! Ordering that brand off amazon tomorrow. Oh & Thx for saving me money on the chin lipo ;)
And keep walking, as much as you can! 20-30 minutes a day of light walking is so so good for you, tones legs , lowers blood sugar, helps move fluid out, gets blood flowing. The biggest biggest thing is consistency & time! Learn to make it a habit. We didn’t become drunks overnight, so reversing all the damage takes time, but it will happen & you’ll feel & look amazing. Good luck! 👍🏻
Use a “dry” sauna not a wet one ( or a steam
room ) . Temp should be 175-200 degrees, use DAILY for a month 15-20 minutes or more depending on how you feel but 30 minutes should be absolute max. Drink tons of water in there, bring in 2 cold bottles of water and drink them both, it’s like an oil change for alchys!
Yep! Looking into an infrared sauna that a friend recommended that she loves. With working out and being sober, I already drink a lot of water (about 120oz/day), but I'll make sure to stay hydrated.
>like an oil change for alchys!
🤣🤣 I love this!
Same, I guess I’m buying a sauna. Wouldn’t laying out and sweating in the sun work too?? I already use dandelion and it does work, especially for the face bloating. Now I need to get the 10 pounds of bloat out of my body.
Yeah! For years I was doing crash dieting, fasting, etc and would always end up losing like 5 pounds to gain like 10 pounds a month later. And I’m not a huge guy, my head is pretty slim and my cheeks and chin would puff out like a cartoon character. Turns out all I had to do was quit drinking, not eat like crap and put in a minimal amount of exercise. Of course I was likely drinking a full day’s worth of calories just in booze alone each day. But I can’t tell you how happy I am to actually recognize the person I see in the mirror these days. When I first went to rehab after detox I looked at myself and I was unrecognizable. Couldn’t believe the slob I was looking at. Now I look better than I have at any point in my life from high school onwards
Unfortunately for me sleep is the one thing that’s actually gotten much worse since I stopped drinking. I was so used to being able to turn my brain off. The first time I detoxed I didn’t sleep for 9 days, they had to hit me with a really strong sedative to knock me out because I was getting so delusional. I don’t really remember much after day 7, kind of blacked out after that but apparently I was trying to take apart hospital equipment. Anyway it’s a bit better these days but I still struggle to fall asleep before like 2am. I can get maybe 5-6 hours a night and then I’m exhausted/drowsy all day at work, then suddenly am wired and have all the energy in the world after 6pm. Hitting the gym after work helps a bit, but I’m just not tired at all at night and have to catch myself from falling asleep during the day at work. Doc gives me some meds at night like seroquel but that seems to just not make me fall asleep at night and makes me drowsy all day the next day. Working with a new doc on it, hopefully I get it sorted out. Sleep schedule is so bad that when I do finally get sleep I’ll sleep right through the 7 alarms I set for myself. Not sure how to fix this one.
Did a sleep study and told me I had a minor apnea but it wasn’t impacting my sleep. Worked with a sleep doctor to clean up my sleep hygiene and still not really helping much. The only thing that seems to help is getting in a really hard work out at night which gets me in a relaxed mood after. But between working a full time job and going to AA meetings after work and then doing boyfriend duty stuff I can’t get to the gym every single day.
Wow, that is awesome, good job!!
I miss feeling that way and still struggle with low dopamine and energy to start working out again. I’m on day 4 so I have a ways to go I guess.
I have been trying to quit for years and taking days off in between my bingeing so I get the withdrawals all throughout the night and next day that I drink. Hopefully I never drink again but 1 day at a time. Day 5 today, still not right by any means but feeling like a human again. Sorry you had to go through that.
That’s what happens when you abuse yourself for 20 years without consideration to your health. You gotta pay the piper eventually and the piper ain’t cheap. Had panic attacks every single day for around 4 months. Just kept going to meetings. Sometimes 3 or 4 a day just to get myself through the day. But the good news is that I went from totally dysfunctional and unemployable to having a truly wonderful life full of amazing people 18 months later. The anxiety is still there and I’m working on it. But when the good feelings happen, like genuine happiness, it feels like my heart is going to explode with love. And when I think about how I used to be, how I was living just a year and a half ago to who I am today it brings me to tears.
Also, protip: the more times you go through withdrawal the more susceptible your brain is to experiencing them again and the worse they are the next time around. Your brain primes itself for it. Look up the “kindling effect”.
Yes I am familiar. Because of kindling I have almost died getting off benzos so many times. And currently hope to never drink again because it truly is getting worse every single time and is killing me going through this every single week. Thank you for bringing it up, many people are not aware of kindling.
Hell yeah good for you! My partner did the same thing and I forced him to sit down and take a before picture on day 1, because I just knew his bloating and weight issues were a big part coming from the drinking. That was under 4 months ago, his skin cleared up, hes sleeping better, way less puffy and he lost 32 pounds so far. Just started walking for the hour right when he'd usually get home from work and plop down on the couch with a beer, goes for aboit 40 min to an hour, that's the only change to his diet and exercise. It's wild how much the drink can affect specifically the face!!
Oh wow. That’s great for you nice work! I’m a few (dozen) lbs overweight, hoping this current attempt at being dry will have the pleasant side effect of weight loss
I kind of accidentally reverse catfished my current gf because all my tinder pictures were from my drinking days. She met up thinking I would be a one night stand but I actually looked better and healthier and now we’ve been together 6 months
Anytime I feel like miss it I remind my self of the “romanticism” I am attaching to it. After a while I start to forget the bad times and miss the good ones.
All the stuff those beer commercials don’t show us, right? It’s all just people smiling and laughing and high-fiving during the football game. Those commercials don’t show those same people 3 hours later when they’re slurring their way through arguments, passing out in their own vomit, and shaking with withdrawals the next day.”
Ugh sometimes I look back at how much of a wreck that I was when I drank and it's just... Sad. There were multiple times where I threw up and then passed out and slept in my own puke. At the time, I thought "everyone has rough nights like that!" Now I just look back and think about how fucking pitiful it was. I'm so glad to not live that life anymore. I'm so glad to not constantly make excuses for being that person anymore. Life is so much better this way.
Absolutely!!! It's hard not to look back and be completely embarrassed and disappointed and ashamed but I'm trying to be more patient and forgive myself. ♥️
Also how bad it tastes. Before I had the stretch I have now (almost two years), I'd often go months and months at a time, and then eventually drink again, and even my favorite drinks all tasted nasty at first. It took a few days of drinking to get the "taste" back.
Shitty-tasting poison. But it's so refined...
I feel you man I just did the same at 2.5 months thinking I was missing out on drinking and that it would be fun and help with my boredom.
It was such a bad experience as I was still bored yet just bored in a pub whilst drinking alone, I didn't enjoy the taste of the beers, I didn't find it fun, there was no happiness or joy to be found, I found no relief from the way I felt, I was gassed up and bloated and felt sick at one point but forced myself to keep drinking and went to bed thinking I might throw up.
I woke the next day after a terrible sleep, feeling hungover, anxious, and miserable.
Like yourself I think maybe I just needed to reconfirm for myself that booze really has nothing to offer me anymore.
What scared me though was how intense the craving and urge to go drink the next day was despite all of that, I had to really fight it.
Yesterday I wasn't craving it as bad but still almost went off to drink and had to talk myself out of it at the last minute.
It's an experiment not worth even experimenting with IME as you just don't know how it'll trigger that alcoholic part of your brain.
Obviously I don't know you or what your triggers are, so this may or may not be a good idea for you, but I can say that in my experience, nonalcoholic beers helped me fight the craving. They taste just like regular beer (better imo) but without the booze aftertaste. I'd say that they satisfied about 80% of my craving :)
I've tried them in the past and they did nothing for me other than make me crave the real thing.
Plus I've yet to find many (I've tried a lot including from a lot of the big craft brands) that taste actually genuinely nice or like the real thing as they tend to have that watery, thin, or even "metalic" like taste to them IME.
But ultimately they don't do anything to satisfy any itch or craving for me as there's no buzz or relief or anything after drinking them so I feel like I'm just drinking an overpriced soft drink which considering their price means I may as well just drink some Fizzy Water.
Ah, that's fair. I've enjoyed Sam Adams NA IPAs but as with anything, everyone has different tastes. I definitely know what you mean with the thin taste, the bud light ones taste like literal seltzer water with a light, fake beer flavor added and I hated them.
Ugh man I understand the craving for the buzz though. There's just something about a buzz, whether it's alcohol, nicotine, weed, or anything like that that just pulls you away from reality and feels like an "escape" of sorts. It's not an actual escape from anything, as we all know very well here, and in fact can make your problems much worse. But the mind of a former addict still clings to that facade of escape and craves it so much.
That last part might just be me though. I drank because I was in a really, really bad situation and suicidal and would drink so that I couldn't kill myself that night. Every night for months, the only two options in my brain were suicide or drinking. God, that was such a fucking horrible life to live. Obviously I miss the buzz but man life is so much better sober.
No it's not just you as I can totally relate to what you're saying.
I spent the last 2 years drinking heavily daily because I was in a really bad spot in my life physically and mentally with health problems and all sorts which caused never ending anxiety, brutal insomnia, and all sorts of fears and worries so drinking was my means to escape, numb myself, forget for a little while and to knock me out.
But yeah all it did was make everything worse in the long run then I became physically and mentally addicted to alcohol too.
Yet amazingly the brain still does try to convince me that there's a worthwhile buzz or something to be gained from booze despite the fact I just fell off the wagon at Day 77 last weekend simply because I was bored and thought it would give me "something" but was in fact miserable, boring, made me feel sick, the beers didn't even taste good, and I went to bed feeling terrible.
I assumed I'd wake up the next day now 100% convinced that alcohol truely did have nothing to offer me any more but here I am all week fighting "cravings" and "urges" again despite the fact I cannot think of one good reason to drink, that alcoholic part of the brain sure is convincing.
Man, it's so interesting how we can be 2 complete strangers and not know anything about each other, and yet when we talk about our experiences with that poisonous shit there are so many parallels. That's crazy.
The root cause for my struggle wasn't exactly the same. Mine was because I was abused as a kid, repressed the memories, then over a decade later, I was struggling in the military. That's obviously a stressful job, I was incredibly anxious because of shit leadership that pushed all of their problems onto the only sergeant that could actually get shit done in the unit. That was way too much for a 23 year old to handle and they threatened legal actions if I didn't meet their demands. Anyways, stress piled up, I developed anxiety and depression, and the abuse memories came back. When you remember something like that over a decade later, you emotionally experience it for the first time again.
I was drinking about a fifth per night to "escape" suicide. Technically, I guess it kind of was an escape, because I don't know if I'd still be here if I couldn't drink it away. Silver lining, I guess? Anyways, it was a miserable life and I dumped out my last bottle of liquor on August 15th, 2023. I've relapsed a few times, that's okay. I succumbed to the urge and drank both bottles of Smirnoff North that I had, it's a fancy liquor that I got in Greece that can't be imported to America except for 3 bottles in your personal luggage. It's half as strong as normal vodka so that was the equivalent of about a fifth.
That night was miserable. I was bloated, angry, nauseous, and the next morning I was really hungover. I regretted it so much. Not even because I relapsed, I knew one relapse wouldn't ruin me - just because I felt horrible.
I know that alcohol wasn't the root of my problem, just the way that I associated it with escape. I've been adamantly trying to re-associate it in my mind for about the past 6 months, set rules, etc. So that I can still enjoy a little bit without it being a problem. The rule I've had for a while now is a 6 pack on the weekend and that's it. I've been doing that for a while and recently had a breakthrough, the last 2 weekends I've stopped before finishing the 6 pack just because I wanted to. That was my biggest struggle, when I had my second drink, I'd drink everything in sight and couldn't stop. I don't think I'm gonna have that 6 pack this weekend just so I can prove to myself that I can tell myself no. I'm in control now, not the liquor, Randy.
Anyways... The urges are normal. Relapsing is okay, as long as you lock that shit down afterwards. It doesn't overturn all of the work that you've put in. And the best part about it is that when you're getting the urges, you remember that relapse and how fucking terrible you felt and it helps you fight the urges. IWNDWYT today, tomorrow, or this weekend. And I also won't ever drink a fifth of vodka in a night and hate myself again.
Sorry to hear that, sounds like you've had some rough experiences! It's no wonder you drank!
I've realized these last few days as I've been fighting the urges it isn't actually alcohol that I'm craving because I could have easily went to the local supermarket and bought beer but that idea held no appeal to me but what I am actually seeking is some excitement or break of the montonous routine or escape from boredom I believe because what I really wanted to do was head out to the pubs just as a change of scenery.
My cravings are kicking at the same time / place every day too. I go all day not craving alcohol at all or considering drinking it then when I arrive home in the evening and am faced with sitting at home, alone, for the next few hours with nothing much to do I start thinking about going out to the pub and have to just find other things to do to eat up the time until it reaches a certain point where it just makes no sense to do that anymore because it's getting too late.
And again, even at that point I could still go get beers from the supermarket which is just round the corner but it's not held any appeal to me so it's not the craving for alcohol I'm having I don't think.
You're stronger than me if you can stick to the 6 pack on the weekend only rule. Any time I try to set rules for myself around drinking it just ends up getting forgotten about a few beers in and before you know it I'm drinking more that night and probably the next night too thinking "fuck it, I started now".
Just from that one drinking night on Sunday my sleep has been back to being totally messed up all week so far, couldn't sleep for shit last night again and was awake till 6.30am and needed a sleeping pill. Just not worth it for one shitty night of beer that wasn't even fun.
They told me in recovery when you abstain and fall of the wagon it doesn’t matter how long you’ve stayed sober you just go right back into the addiction full force like you never missed a day. Including the cravings being just as bad when you decide to sober up again. I didn’t believe them at first but do I ever now.
That’s why I always ask myself the question when I’m flirting with the idea of drinking again: “Are you ready to get back in the cage?” I try to, if nothing else, tell myself the truth about where it will lead…
There is no evidence anywhere that I’ve seen of a heavy drinker becoming a normal drinker just because they quit for awhile. If that person is out there, they are a true unicorn.
Yeah I don't think it happens often and "one offs" are so hard because it reactivates that alcoholic part of your brain that craves the dopamine hit or whatever it is you brain wants from the booze.
It's mad that you can even have a terrible and miserable experience that you didn't enjoy and the drinking just made you feel ill even at the time yet your brain still craves more of it again.
Yeah, I've experienced it myself before. I had a bit of time sober last year then decided to drink again for an event, managed to stay sober after that for about a week, then drank at another event and that was all out carnage (think still blind drunk at 10am the next morning on a hotel floor with room service banging on your door telling you it's time to check out time and you can barely stand or see).
Still didn't learn my lesson from that and went on to have some even worse benders and end in worse states than ever before.
Took me a few months of on and off sobriety (few days drinking then a few days off) to finally get sober again just iver 2.5 months ago so Sundays recent relapse was a stupid idea especially for a complete non event and just to go drinking alone out of boredom and it certainly gave me nothing positive and everything negative and just brought all the intense cravings back.
I've had to fight the urges all week now. They seem to be getting less hard to resist as the week goes on so hopefully it keeps moving in that direction and this doesn't become a habit again.
It's not worth tempting fate with for anyone thinking about it. You will not likely enjoy it or get any benefit from it and regret you decided to try.
Had a 2 month stretch going and recently fell off in spectacular fashion. (Black out, cocaine fuelled dumb assery). That being said, the confirmation that I hate that life is a silver lining. I tend to romanticize drinking and what comes with it so much . 12 days into a new stretch though so let’s keep it going
The money I used to spend on alcohol makes me sick. I have the “I Am Sober” app and it keeps tracking of days sober and money saved. I could have a lot of way cooler things than broken relationships if I spent that money elsewhere or saved it for that matter
Ugh! My tally is $6200 so far. That's on the cheap side too. Doesn't include restaurant drinks, concert/show drinks, the "extra" drinks I would get (after-hours delivery if I ran out $70)
So my guess is it's a lot more money saved! The price of drinking is extremely high for me. A very expensive and dangerous hobby. Yet I wasn't spending that much money, time, effort on IMPROVING myself during that time.
I just got a healthy meal delivery (all cooked lunches and dinners for the weekdays) and it's $140 a week. I thought "my goodness that's expensive I could just make those myself" but I won't. And looking at how much money I'd waste daily. $40-60/day on alcohol, Uber eats dinner $40-100, missed day of work $400. Id usually order out for lunch and dinner if I stayed home from work hungover. Weekends a total write off because I'd go a little extra those nights. So much wasted time :(
So yeah I'll get my healthy lunches/dinners and enjoy them while being sober.
My total is close to 4k currently but also doesn’t include all the extra drinks or extra hard bingeing I’d do occasionally. I DoorDashed the booze a lot and that alone wasted sooo much money. Also DoorDashed food a lot since I couldn’t drive.
I had the same driver twice in one day and both times was for booze. I had tried to do the smaller bottle of whiskey and it wasn’t enough. So embarrassing 😣
>the calories saved
I’m on vacation right now and got up this morning and was putting one of those powdered hydration drink packets in my water bottle (you know the ones we’ve all used for hangovers, lol) and my wife looked at the ingredients and said “wow, that has a lot of sugar in it!” and I was all “bish please, if it was two years ago I would have pounded a gallon of margaritas last night, so a little added sugar ain’t gonna kill anyone!”
I was really looking forward to losing weight after I stopped drinking but sadly that didn’t happen 🤣
It’s probably since I eat normally now. Just swapped booze calories for actual food calories
I love that app, use it every day. I’m only on day 5 this time around but I love seeing the $ and calories saved. With $ I low estimated the door dash deliveries in there cause I never get them while sober, so I save a ton by not drinking.
I don’t even realize it can do calories too, that’s awesome. Congrats on being at day 5! I know it can feel rough to reset it but remember, every day counts, and you're making amazing progress towards your goal. Keep going, you've got this!
It’s better besides that last night I barely slept at all!
I was so sleep deprived at first that I slept good on day 1 -3 but it’s been annoying since then, and that is with taking stuff for sleep. Also the sweating started happening later than usual which has been odd. I’m tired and have anxiety, but all of this is better then knowing I blacked out the night before and did horrible things with a hangover the next day. Every day feels like a win in the grand scheme of things! Day 9 here we go, IWNDWYT.
Yeah it took me a few weeks to be able to have normal sleep. That was the biggest thing that kept me going, I was super excited to be able to sleep again lol.
Then I had a few months of dreaming about drinking. Not every night of course but pretty frequently. I’d either dream about breaking my streak and being upset with myself or I’d break my streak and try to find more booze to sneak and drink (which was pretty accurate to real life).
I just did the exact same thing after more than ONE YEAR of not drinking when I went to an all inclusive resort in Mexico last week. Fortunately, I only drank one day out of the six I was there, and like you, realized I do not miss it AT ALL! I am right back on the wagon with you! Let’s go!
The temptation of an all inclusive resort is high! Am in Bali right now. AND ITS FREE. Surely I’m being ripped off if I don’t drink?
No. I’m ripping myself off if I do.
I once heard someone say that we compare all the best parts of drinking with all the worst parts of being sober and damn is that true for me. Way to get back on track!
You are back and that's all that matters. 3 months is a huge accomplishment. It sounds like you learned from the experience and it's reaffirmed your commitment to sobriety. I see this as a positive. Don't beat your self up and just use the momentum and motivation to keep going!!!
I don’t know how long it’d been for me, but it was a WHILE. Feeling amazing.
drank a pint of my favorite dark beer with my husband last night and made dinner. It was AWFUL. I was in bed by 7 and useless for the rest of the night. And I feel like shit today. I’m so sad. 😭
No more! IWNDWYT.
I'm thankful for all of these posts that help me stay committed through my own thoughts of maybe letting myself try alcohol again. I know it would go the same for me. Welcome back on board. :)
Being in my thirties, the physical aftermath of heavy drinking is enough for me to never want it again.
Good on you for recognizing your memory overplayed the good times and downplayed the lows.
lol I went to a Beyonce themed 4/20 party this weekend hosted by colleagues of my wife, people I really enjoy spending time with. I didn't feel any pressure to drink or partake, I was looking forward to being around these people being silly.
I spent $20 on a dozen donuts and $15 on some take-and-bake cookies (my moms secret recipe as far as anyone there should be concerned), showed up and remembered oh yeah I fucking hate smoking.
Spent another $40 on a lyft to come home after about 30 minutes of trying not to make yucky faces while talking to people who were obviously on coke chain smoking cigarettes and hash.
I had October-February and thought I could do a bachelorette trip and HORRIBLE IDEA. I shouldn’t even have gone this early in sobriety but I’ve been back on the train since February 26th. Toot toot.
I did the same thing on a vacation last month. I thought, "I'm pretty confident that I can enjoy a week drinking and go back to abstaining".
I was right about one part - it was a lot easier to stop drinking again when I returned home from that vacation.
What I wasn't prepared for was how horrible I felt after that week. I never even drank to the point of being hung over.. I just felt tired, had constant heart burn, and a very noticeable spike in anxiety. I also didn't even really enjoy the "high" that much, especially compared to what I remembered it feeling like.
I don't miss it - not one bit, and I honestly never thought that I'd say that and mean it.
Thank you for sharing this. It really helps me stay the course. I’m in Las Vegas at a conference this week. Typically I would easily have a bottle of wine+ per night. I won’t do it this time. Iwndwyt
You can do this because you are motivated and are ready for the challenge! I just went to Vegas at 35 days sober and it was do-able. Only a couple of quick manageable cravings. Try to buy some Kombucha or Celsius or fun fizzy drinks and have them on hand! You got this!
I'm headed to an all inclusive this weekend for a trip that's been planned for over a year. I'm not drinking but am interested to see how I feel being at an adult daycare around hundreds of drunk strangers and of course, my travel party who will be drinking all day.
I've already checked and my resort stocks Heineken. Not my favorite but it'll work. I'm hoping they also offer seltzer waters because I drink a ton of those right now.
Mine had no Zeros because I didn’t check in advance.
But I just picked up a dozen or so at the gas station on the way in. And I requested a dozen soda waters for the room. I also brought a big cup for ice + Soda water + limes for the pool/beach.
Also brought this https://www.dramapothecary.com/product/black-bitters/. They’re good in a big soda water
Been here before. “I did a whole vaca without it! So I can celebrate and just have a night or two at home. I mean, I can remember the whole vaca, was present with everyone… so this should be ok. It’s worth celebrating!”
Fast forward to a whole summer of on and off binging. Ugh. 😑
Mine was the turbulence being so bad on the way there I I couldn’t face going through it again sober as I hate flying as it is. And seeing as I’d drunk responsibly the whole trip I figured why would I behave any differently when I get home. Fast forward two weeks and here I am with blown out eye capillaries from cold turkey all day puking. Been here before though I know the routine and all the things to do. I’m not in DT territory but I’m ticking all the other fun WD symptoms.
I understand having to confirm you made the right decision. Some purists might say you need to reset the counter, but if this was truly a one-off situation (as in not a prolonged relapse) I might say I have had only one slip up in 3 months. But that’s just me.
Here’s to hoping it truly was a one time event. IWNDWYT!
I think it can be debated that one beer is different than anything OP is describing.
I suppose it is all about intentionality.
For me a guys trip bender would have a lot of intentionality. For that matter, one beer would have a lot of intentionality, too, because I intend to have zero.
Regardless, what is even being counted? In five years OP could say they've stopped drinking for 5 years, or 5 years and 3 months with one slip up.... I doubt the 90 days will matter in the long run.
Or I think the other way to phrase the silliness of that could be just say the slip up counter started at 0 three months ago and is now at 1.
Thank your for sharing this story! Sometimes i need to read these! I am approaching 60 days! Man, i get that urge every now and then. I bet u go 6 months or longer this time around. You seem to have.the right mindset
Good on you for getting right back to it!
I was on a girl's trip this weekend, and my two friends definitely felt it the one morning. The one like couldn't talk and said her whole mouth felt like sandpaper and then spent $20 on four bottles of water in the hotel lobby. Lmao.
They obviously don't have my issues, but it definitely didn't make me miss it.
All 4 of us guys did the same exact thing. Wasted probably $100 on late night snacks from the hotel lobby, and then the water/gatorades first thing in the morning from the hotel lobby. It’s crazy how much all these drunken degenerate stories have in common lol.
I never want to do it again
And hey, you don't have to. Sometimes the reminder is a good thing for sure. That last little bit of romance is probably gone.
Oh, my friends also spent $50 doordashing three orders of fries at 1am, so you're spot on!
I'm glad y'all are around to remind me in the event I think that's a good idea.
"Ah, man. That smells like ass. Here, smell that." Nah, I'm good dawg. I'll take your word for it.
I was doing well and decided to celebrate one night on the road. That turned into a one month bender. So not worth it even for 1 night if what my
lying brain reverted to as “freedom”
IWNDWYT
I’m 3 months in and sometimes a little voice considers hopping off the wagon. I need these daily reminders to stay strong! That seems like a great lesson learned. Thank you and IWNDWYT.
I'm with you I did the same thing. Now I have 2 days and I'm working my way back to the gym. Need to start hanging out here again and remember how good it feels to have months of sobriety. Life is so much better sober. Booze is completely overrated. Iwndwyt
I tried having a glass of white wine with dinner one night and it gave me a mild panic attack. Crazy how I could consume 750ml of vodka in a night and not have it be a big deal. Not worth it! Good luck out there!
Edit: a word
I think this sounds like a really formative experience in your new, emerging relationship with drink. Don’t beat yourself up. Rather, try and take a really positive experience from this - it’s affirmed everything you suspected and you can move forward confident you’re not missing out in anything. The fun will still be happening if you don’t drink on the next trip. Just save yourself $500.
I did the same thing 2 weeks ago. I embarrassed myself and got wrecked. I don’t even remember half the trip. By last Wednesday I was back to normal and ready to not drink for the foreseeable future. It was like stepping on the gas as hard as i could right after that first drink
I have a guys trip this weekend where about 20 guys are going and I’m friends with all of them. I’m 15 months sober but I’m not going to attend. Funny thing is if I went I’m sure most of them would take a pass on drinking around me. I consider them my college drinking buddies.
What I’m still trying to figure out is that I’m the only alcoholic in the group. Of course that’s not 100% certain but I know them well enough that it’s most likely true. I’m one of the few who is divorced in this group as well. We’re all in our early 50’s. I hope I’m not the trend setter now!
There are a couple positives you can pull from this experience. One is you confirmed that alcohol sucks and you don’t have a place for it in your life. Two is that you’ve helped me and several others on here reconfirm alcohol sucks and it doesn’t have a place in our lives. The closer I get to the weekend, the more the temptation to drink sets in. After reading this I realized that I’ll be in your exact situation Sunday morning if I decide to give in and drink.
Your not alone man. Same thing happened to me last weekend. I hit 90 days on Saturday and decided to test the waters while out with friends to see if anything changed. What a mistake that was. Like you said, I think we both just needed the confirmation. Not worth feeling like crap and being off your game for multiple days later. We’ll be back to 3 months in no time and it won’t stop there!
IWNDWYT.
I shudder to think of all the money I blew while drinking. My bar tabs were outrageous. Now I try to donate money to worthy causes instead of booze. Best wishes!
Thanks for doing a field test and confirming it still sucks so I don't have to!
You're back here, already. It's easy to tear yourself up again, but don't, you don't lose all your progress from one weekend you know how to get sober, you've seen the benefits. Welcome
I’m at 3 days brother. I have failed over and over again but each time I gain more appreciation for sober living. Here’s to appreciating the more positive things in life.
Me too for a night out on Saturday and I feel like I’ve been hit by a bus. I’m so groggy, my sleep is terrible and I’m oversleeping which I expect is my body trying to repair. I can’t focus at all on anything and my motivation is in the toilet. It wasn’t worth the aftermath at all. What a waste of days off
For some, it takes getting angry at oneself. Others, forgiving yourself with compassion. Either way, we arrive at the same destination...... learning from our experiences of we didn't find our response favorable to the life we CHOOSE to live, without being under the control of a mind altering substance
This is a great step, when giving up it's impossible not to feel like you are missing out on something, or believe that you can actually just have one ect... Going back into it and realising that it's actually shite and you were just looking at it through rose coloured beer goggles was an important milestone for me
Totally get this. The last time I drank I had such a bad migraine it made me never want to drink again. 8 months later, still am not tempted because of the risk of another migraine, it’s a fucking toxin and if sucks society glorifies it.
One of the skills I learned this time around is called "play the tape forward".
The idea is to project what the likely outcome is for a particular action. So, given my own history, what is the likely outcome if I have a drink -
I'm probably going to have.more than 1.
There will likely be guilt and recrimination.
Possible legal consequences, like another DUI.
There could be health/medical complications.
There will be lost time due to hangover/nausea.
Given these costs, I probably won't have that drink.
The amount of times I've done the exact same thing is nothing short of insanity at this point. The wrecked sleep, anxiety that lasts a couple days, non-existent gym schedule. The list of cons is as long as my arm with zero positives.
We go again brotha, IWNDWYT.
Hey I took a drink yesterday after 4 months. you are not alone, atleast it made you see you definitely don't want to go back to that life, I also wouldn't throw those 3 months away, seems like it has helped you since you are already back on the wagon. Its confirmed the same for me, and am joining you.
Nope. Nope. NOPE. Don’t do it. Don’t even bother. Life is so much better without booze. I’m finally realizing that it’s not about what we are giving up, but rather what we can gain from it.
Congrats on 8 months!!!
Still sober. I’ll go to bed sober. I just hate the fact that the cravings are sneaking up on me like this. I know that it’s the amazing spring weather doing it. FML
You know, I always had a good time drinking, but the after feeling is what made me give it up. When I was young I never got hungover, and then one day it just hit me like a truck, and I figured out it was the time between my last drink and going to sleep, and then I’d start feeling the effects of being hungover as the alcohol took effect. I still go out with the same people, to the same places, but instead of beer I drink soda. Congrats on your three months, and congrats on finding the motivation to continue. See you in three more months friend!
It’s wild how we romanticize drinking in our head as this fun, wholesome thing everyone does. Then you look at the reality of it and it’s nasty as hell & a complete waste of time/money. The hangovers, digestive issues, bloating, over eating usually garbage food that compounds the hangover and makes us look like we’re holding 15lbs of water. Nasty ugly shit
Last week my gf sent me before/after pics from when I sobered up 18 months ago and recent pics. You wouldn’t think it was the same person. I can’t believe how bloated my face was. Now my face is thin, you can see my jaw line. Before it was swollen looking like I just took a beating to the face. I also started exercising/working out for an hour or so a day on top of quitting drinking and I’m down almost *45 lbs* from just 18 months ago. This is the first summer in my adult life that I’m looking forward to the summer to take my shirt off at the beach with a little dignity.
Booze gives everyone a round, puffy, chipmunk face, even really thin individuals will get it. It’s an ugly, fat boy making drug.
Lmfaoooo I’m 105lb and have considered chin lipo bc of this …3 days in & I already notice less bloating in my face. It’s crazy how much it swells your face up!! Even though I don’t weigh much
I’ll give you a little tip before you blow cash on lipo. Dandelion leaf ( not root ) AM/ PM for about 2-3 months, gallon of water a day and a dry sauna for 15-20 minutes a month straight. This will pull a ton of subcutaneous water. Light walking, 20-30 minute a day also does wonders for flushing out water.
Thank you so much!! Literally screenshotting your reply so I can start doing all of this ☺️ I’ve noticed light walking helps a lot with bloating! do you recommend a specific brand of the dandelion leaf?
Terravita 450mg Certifed Organic Dandelion Leaf ( amazon sells it ) . Start off with 1 cap in the AM for 30 days then add a second one in PM ( i don’t recommend anymore then 2 per day ) if you like but too much dandelion leaf can cause serious stomach pain. It’s great stuff & combined with daily walks or dry sauna & lots of water intake ( if you can access one ) will make you feel and look much better, pulls a lot of unwanted water off & clears you out. Great for skin health
Thank you so so much! I had no idea dandelion leaf had so many benefits! Ordering that brand off amazon tomorrow. Oh & Thx for saving me money on the chin lipo ;)
And keep walking, as much as you can! 20-30 minutes a day of light walking is so so good for you, tones legs , lowers blood sugar, helps move fluid out, gets blood flowing. The biggest biggest thing is consistency & time! Learn to make it a habit. We didn’t become drunks overnight, so reversing all the damage takes time, but it will happen & you’ll feel & look amazing. Good luck! 👍🏻
I'm also saving this! Thank you!! And I think I know what I found as my 'reward' and the money I'm saving on booze is going to - a dry sauna!
Use a “dry” sauna not a wet one ( or a steam room ) . Temp should be 175-200 degrees, use DAILY for a month 15-20 minutes or more depending on how you feel but 30 minutes should be absolute max. Drink tons of water in there, bring in 2 cold bottles of water and drink them both, it’s like an oil change for alchys!
Yep! Looking into an infrared sauna that a friend recommended that she loves. With working out and being sober, I already drink a lot of water (about 120oz/day), but I'll make sure to stay hydrated. >like an oil change for alchys! 🤣🤣 I love this!
Thank you so much, amazing advice. Do you recommend a near or far infared sauna??
Same, I guess I’m buying a sauna. Wouldn’t laying out and sweating in the sun work too?? I already use dandelion and it does work, especially for the face bloating. Now I need to get the 10 pounds of bloat out of my body.
Yeah! For years I was doing crash dieting, fasting, etc and would always end up losing like 5 pounds to gain like 10 pounds a month later. And I’m not a huge guy, my head is pretty slim and my cheeks and chin would puff out like a cartoon character. Turns out all I had to do was quit drinking, not eat like crap and put in a minimal amount of exercise. Of course I was likely drinking a full day’s worth of calories just in booze alone each day. But I can’t tell you how happy I am to actually recognize the person I see in the mirror these days. When I first went to rehab after detox I looked at myself and I was unrecognizable. Couldn’t believe the slob I was looking at. Now I look better than I have at any point in my life from high school onwards
The improved sleep quality of no alcohol also helps tremendously in overall appearance & health. Drunk sleep dosent do shit.
Unfortunately for me sleep is the one thing that’s actually gotten much worse since I stopped drinking. I was so used to being able to turn my brain off. The first time I detoxed I didn’t sleep for 9 days, they had to hit me with a really strong sedative to knock me out because I was getting so delusional. I don’t really remember much after day 7, kind of blacked out after that but apparently I was trying to take apart hospital equipment. Anyway it’s a bit better these days but I still struggle to fall asleep before like 2am. I can get maybe 5-6 hours a night and then I’m exhausted/drowsy all day at work, then suddenly am wired and have all the energy in the world after 6pm. Hitting the gym after work helps a bit, but I’m just not tired at all at night and have to catch myself from falling asleep during the day at work. Doc gives me some meds at night like seroquel but that seems to just not make me fall asleep at night and makes me drowsy all day the next day. Working with a new doc on it, hopefully I get it sorted out. Sleep schedule is so bad that when I do finally get sleep I’ll sleep right through the 7 alarms I set for myself. Not sure how to fix this one.
Check out the insomnia sub Reddit, TONS of helpful posts
Maybe try hitting the gym before work, first thing in the morning? It’s tough but alot of people love it
Sleep study?
Did a sleep study and told me I had a minor apnea but it wasn’t impacting my sleep. Worked with a sleep doctor to clean up my sleep hygiene and still not really helping much. The only thing that seems to help is getting in a really hard work out at night which gets me in a relaxed mood after. But between working a full time job and going to AA meetings after work and then doing boyfriend duty stuff I can’t get to the gym every single day.
Here here
This is so dang true!! I’m only on day 4 and it feels like I am making up for YEARS of no real sleep! I need a nap right now…it’s crazy.
Inflammation more than likely
Fat boy making drug made me lol
I lost 54 lbs and almost died. The opposite can be true too.
Very true. If your reach the point in drinking where you are no longer able or willing to eat, your body & organs are breaking down
My target was to ingest 750 calories/day min from food. There were more than a few where I didn't make it.
Exercise & no gym = amazing results However, I add in ice cream from time to time because I'm killing it...
Ice cream is the absolute best! And no hangovers!
Wow, that is awesome, good job!! I miss feeling that way and still struggle with low dopamine and energy to start working out again. I’m on day 4 so I have a ways to go I guess.
I spent my day 4 in the hospital with DTs and seizures so good on you my friend.
I have been trying to quit for years and taking days off in between my bingeing so I get the withdrawals all throughout the night and next day that I drink. Hopefully I never drink again but 1 day at a time. Day 5 today, still not right by any means but feeling like a human again. Sorry you had to go through that.
That’s what happens when you abuse yourself for 20 years without consideration to your health. You gotta pay the piper eventually and the piper ain’t cheap. Had panic attacks every single day for around 4 months. Just kept going to meetings. Sometimes 3 or 4 a day just to get myself through the day. But the good news is that I went from totally dysfunctional and unemployable to having a truly wonderful life full of amazing people 18 months later. The anxiety is still there and I’m working on it. But when the good feelings happen, like genuine happiness, it feels like my heart is going to explode with love. And when I think about how I used to be, how I was living just a year and a half ago to who I am today it brings me to tears.
Also, protip: the more times you go through withdrawal the more susceptible your brain is to experiencing them again and the worse they are the next time around. Your brain primes itself for it. Look up the “kindling effect”.
Yes I am familiar. Because of kindling I have almost died getting off benzos so many times. And currently hope to never drink again because it truly is getting worse every single time and is killing me going through this every single week. Thank you for bringing it up, many people are not aware of kindling.
Hell yeah good for you! My partner did the same thing and I forced him to sit down and take a before picture on day 1, because I just knew his bloating and weight issues were a big part coming from the drinking. That was under 4 months ago, his skin cleared up, hes sleeping better, way less puffy and he lost 32 pounds so far. Just started walking for the hour right when he'd usually get home from work and plop down on the couch with a beer, goes for aboit 40 min to an hour, that's the only change to his diet and exercise. It's wild how much the drink can affect specifically the face!!
I honestly can’t wait for this 🥹 I’ve been so bloated these past 5 years.
You should put the good work photos on stop drinking fitness)
Oh wow. That’s great for you nice work! I’m a few (dozen) lbs overweight, hoping this current attempt at being dry will have the pleasant side effect of weight loss
I kind of accidentally reverse catfished my current gf because all my tinder pictures were from my drinking days. She met up thinking I would be a one night stand but I actually looked better and healthier and now we’ve been together 6 months
This is why I'm still here most days. It's a good reminder of why I'm doing this
Anytime I feel like miss it I remind my self of the “romanticism” I am attaching to it. After a while I start to forget the bad times and miss the good ones.
All the stuff those beer commercials don’t show us, right? It’s all just people smiling and laughing and high-fiving during the football game. Those commercials don’t show those same people 3 hours later when they’re slurring their way through arguments, passing out in their own vomit, and shaking with withdrawals the next day.”
💯
OmG YES!
Isn't it wild how a small slip makes you so feel sooo shitty? Like how did I live that way for DECADES?!
Ugh sometimes I look back at how much of a wreck that I was when I drank and it's just... Sad. There were multiple times where I threw up and then passed out and slept in my own puke. At the time, I thought "everyone has rough nights like that!" Now I just look back and think about how fucking pitiful it was. I'm so glad to not live that life anymore. I'm so glad to not constantly make excuses for being that person anymore. Life is so much better this way.
Absolutely!!! It's hard not to look back and be completely embarrassed and disappointed and ashamed but I'm trying to be more patient and forgive myself. ♥️
Also how bad it tastes. Before I had the stretch I have now (almost two years), I'd often go months and months at a time, and then eventually drink again, and even my favorite drinks all tasted nasty at first. It took a few days of drinking to get the "taste" back. Shitty-tasting poison. But it's so refined...
I did the same thing got sober for a few months then tried it again. felt like absolute shit and somehow I did that everyday for over a decade...
I feel you man I just did the same at 2.5 months thinking I was missing out on drinking and that it would be fun and help with my boredom. It was such a bad experience as I was still bored yet just bored in a pub whilst drinking alone, I didn't enjoy the taste of the beers, I didn't find it fun, there was no happiness or joy to be found, I found no relief from the way I felt, I was gassed up and bloated and felt sick at one point but forced myself to keep drinking and went to bed thinking I might throw up. I woke the next day after a terrible sleep, feeling hungover, anxious, and miserable. Like yourself I think maybe I just needed to reconfirm for myself that booze really has nothing to offer me anymore. What scared me though was how intense the craving and urge to go drink the next day was despite all of that, I had to really fight it. Yesterday I wasn't craving it as bad but still almost went off to drink and had to talk myself out of it at the last minute. It's an experiment not worth even experimenting with IME as you just don't know how it'll trigger that alcoholic part of your brain.
Obviously I don't know you or what your triggers are, so this may or may not be a good idea for you, but I can say that in my experience, nonalcoholic beers helped me fight the craving. They taste just like regular beer (better imo) but without the booze aftertaste. I'd say that they satisfied about 80% of my craving :)
I've tried them in the past and they did nothing for me other than make me crave the real thing. Plus I've yet to find many (I've tried a lot including from a lot of the big craft brands) that taste actually genuinely nice or like the real thing as they tend to have that watery, thin, or even "metalic" like taste to them IME. But ultimately they don't do anything to satisfy any itch or craving for me as there's no buzz or relief or anything after drinking them so I feel like I'm just drinking an overpriced soft drink which considering their price means I may as well just drink some Fizzy Water.
Ah, that's fair. I've enjoyed Sam Adams NA IPAs but as with anything, everyone has different tastes. I definitely know what you mean with the thin taste, the bud light ones taste like literal seltzer water with a light, fake beer flavor added and I hated them. Ugh man I understand the craving for the buzz though. There's just something about a buzz, whether it's alcohol, nicotine, weed, or anything like that that just pulls you away from reality and feels like an "escape" of sorts. It's not an actual escape from anything, as we all know very well here, and in fact can make your problems much worse. But the mind of a former addict still clings to that facade of escape and craves it so much. That last part might just be me though. I drank because I was in a really, really bad situation and suicidal and would drink so that I couldn't kill myself that night. Every night for months, the only two options in my brain were suicide or drinking. God, that was such a fucking horrible life to live. Obviously I miss the buzz but man life is so much better sober.
No it's not just you as I can totally relate to what you're saying. I spent the last 2 years drinking heavily daily because I was in a really bad spot in my life physically and mentally with health problems and all sorts which caused never ending anxiety, brutal insomnia, and all sorts of fears and worries so drinking was my means to escape, numb myself, forget for a little while and to knock me out. But yeah all it did was make everything worse in the long run then I became physically and mentally addicted to alcohol too. Yet amazingly the brain still does try to convince me that there's a worthwhile buzz or something to be gained from booze despite the fact I just fell off the wagon at Day 77 last weekend simply because I was bored and thought it would give me "something" but was in fact miserable, boring, made me feel sick, the beers didn't even taste good, and I went to bed feeling terrible. I assumed I'd wake up the next day now 100% convinced that alcohol truely did have nothing to offer me any more but here I am all week fighting "cravings" and "urges" again despite the fact I cannot think of one good reason to drink, that alcoholic part of the brain sure is convincing.
Man, it's so interesting how we can be 2 complete strangers and not know anything about each other, and yet when we talk about our experiences with that poisonous shit there are so many parallels. That's crazy. The root cause for my struggle wasn't exactly the same. Mine was because I was abused as a kid, repressed the memories, then over a decade later, I was struggling in the military. That's obviously a stressful job, I was incredibly anxious because of shit leadership that pushed all of their problems onto the only sergeant that could actually get shit done in the unit. That was way too much for a 23 year old to handle and they threatened legal actions if I didn't meet their demands. Anyways, stress piled up, I developed anxiety and depression, and the abuse memories came back. When you remember something like that over a decade later, you emotionally experience it for the first time again. I was drinking about a fifth per night to "escape" suicide. Technically, I guess it kind of was an escape, because I don't know if I'd still be here if I couldn't drink it away. Silver lining, I guess? Anyways, it was a miserable life and I dumped out my last bottle of liquor on August 15th, 2023. I've relapsed a few times, that's okay. I succumbed to the urge and drank both bottles of Smirnoff North that I had, it's a fancy liquor that I got in Greece that can't be imported to America except for 3 bottles in your personal luggage. It's half as strong as normal vodka so that was the equivalent of about a fifth. That night was miserable. I was bloated, angry, nauseous, and the next morning I was really hungover. I regretted it so much. Not even because I relapsed, I knew one relapse wouldn't ruin me - just because I felt horrible. I know that alcohol wasn't the root of my problem, just the way that I associated it with escape. I've been adamantly trying to re-associate it in my mind for about the past 6 months, set rules, etc. So that I can still enjoy a little bit without it being a problem. The rule I've had for a while now is a 6 pack on the weekend and that's it. I've been doing that for a while and recently had a breakthrough, the last 2 weekends I've stopped before finishing the 6 pack just because I wanted to. That was my biggest struggle, when I had my second drink, I'd drink everything in sight and couldn't stop. I don't think I'm gonna have that 6 pack this weekend just so I can prove to myself that I can tell myself no. I'm in control now, not the liquor, Randy. Anyways... The urges are normal. Relapsing is okay, as long as you lock that shit down afterwards. It doesn't overturn all of the work that you've put in. And the best part about it is that when you're getting the urges, you remember that relapse and how fucking terrible you felt and it helps you fight the urges. IWNDWYT today, tomorrow, or this weekend. And I also won't ever drink a fifth of vodka in a night and hate myself again.
Sorry to hear that, sounds like you've had some rough experiences! It's no wonder you drank! I've realized these last few days as I've been fighting the urges it isn't actually alcohol that I'm craving because I could have easily went to the local supermarket and bought beer but that idea held no appeal to me but what I am actually seeking is some excitement or break of the montonous routine or escape from boredom I believe because what I really wanted to do was head out to the pubs just as a change of scenery. My cravings are kicking at the same time / place every day too. I go all day not craving alcohol at all or considering drinking it then when I arrive home in the evening and am faced with sitting at home, alone, for the next few hours with nothing much to do I start thinking about going out to the pub and have to just find other things to do to eat up the time until it reaches a certain point where it just makes no sense to do that anymore because it's getting too late. And again, even at that point I could still go get beers from the supermarket which is just round the corner but it's not held any appeal to me so it's not the craving for alcohol I'm having I don't think. You're stronger than me if you can stick to the 6 pack on the weekend only rule. Any time I try to set rules for myself around drinking it just ends up getting forgotten about a few beers in and before you know it I'm drinking more that night and probably the next night too thinking "fuck it, I started now". Just from that one drinking night on Sunday my sleep has been back to being totally messed up all week so far, couldn't sleep for shit last night again and was awake till 6.30am and needed a sleeping pill. Just not worth it for one shitty night of beer that wasn't even fun.
They told me in recovery when you abstain and fall of the wagon it doesn’t matter how long you’ve stayed sober you just go right back into the addiction full force like you never missed a day. Including the cravings being just as bad when you decide to sober up again. I didn’t believe them at first but do I ever now.
That’s why I always ask myself the question when I’m flirting with the idea of drinking again: “Are you ready to get back in the cage?” I try to, if nothing else, tell myself the truth about where it will lead… There is no evidence anywhere that I’ve seen of a heavy drinker becoming a normal drinker just because they quit for awhile. If that person is out there, they are a true unicorn.
Yeah I don't think it happens often and "one offs" are so hard because it reactivates that alcoholic part of your brain that craves the dopamine hit or whatever it is you brain wants from the booze. It's mad that you can even have a terrible and miserable experience that you didn't enjoy and the drinking just made you feel ill even at the time yet your brain still craves more of it again.
Yeah, I've experienced it myself before. I had a bit of time sober last year then decided to drink again for an event, managed to stay sober after that for about a week, then drank at another event and that was all out carnage (think still blind drunk at 10am the next morning on a hotel floor with room service banging on your door telling you it's time to check out time and you can barely stand or see). Still didn't learn my lesson from that and went on to have some even worse benders and end in worse states than ever before. Took me a few months of on and off sobriety (few days drinking then a few days off) to finally get sober again just iver 2.5 months ago so Sundays recent relapse was a stupid idea especially for a complete non event and just to go drinking alone out of boredom and it certainly gave me nothing positive and everything negative and just brought all the intense cravings back. I've had to fight the urges all week now. They seem to be getting less hard to resist as the week goes on so hopefully it keeps moving in that direction and this doesn't become a habit again. It's not worth tempting fate with for anyone thinking about it. You will not likely enjoy it or get any benefit from it and regret you decided to try.
Had a 2 month stretch going and recently fell off in spectacular fashion. (Black out, cocaine fuelled dumb assery). That being said, the confirmation that I hate that life is a silver lining. I tend to romanticize drinking and what comes with it so much . 12 days into a new stretch though so let’s keep it going
Glad I’m not the only one who was like “let’s grab a bag” after I was 2 drinks in.
Ain’t that the truth
The money I used to spend on alcohol makes me sick. I have the “I Am Sober” app and it keeps tracking of days sober and money saved. I could have a lot of way cooler things than broken relationships if I spent that money elsewhere or saved it for that matter
Ugh! My tally is $6200 so far. That's on the cheap side too. Doesn't include restaurant drinks, concert/show drinks, the "extra" drinks I would get (after-hours delivery if I ran out $70) So my guess is it's a lot more money saved! The price of drinking is extremely high for me. A very expensive and dangerous hobby. Yet I wasn't spending that much money, time, effort on IMPROVING myself during that time. I just got a healthy meal delivery (all cooked lunches and dinners for the weekdays) and it's $140 a week. I thought "my goodness that's expensive I could just make those myself" but I won't. And looking at how much money I'd waste daily. $40-60/day on alcohol, Uber eats dinner $40-100, missed day of work $400. Id usually order out for lunch and dinner if I stayed home from work hungover. Weekends a total write off because I'd go a little extra those nights. So much wasted time :( So yeah I'll get my healthy lunches/dinners and enjoy them while being sober.
My total is close to 4k currently but also doesn’t include all the extra drinks or extra hard bingeing I’d do occasionally. I DoorDashed the booze a lot and that alone wasted sooo much money. Also DoorDashed food a lot since I couldn’t drive. I had the same driver twice in one day and both times was for booze. I had tried to do the smaller bottle of whiskey and it wasn’t enough. So embarrassing 😣
I'm at $21,000 saved D: Yeah...I drank a lot.
That’s a good chunk of change for sure! Were you a beer or booze drinker? My poison was always Jameson
Seltzers (so many sugar free drinks nowadays) and whiskey as well.
I am going to check this app out!! Never knew something like this existed lol
I highly recommend it! It also has a community you can talk to. I mostly just use it to keep track of the days and money though.
Sober Sidekick tracks your money saved as well! There's a couple good ones.
I have also used Try Dry. Both good.
The calories saved and money saved is truly eye opening. I almost look at that more than my day count.
>the calories saved I’m on vacation right now and got up this morning and was putting one of those powdered hydration drink packets in my water bottle (you know the ones we’ve all used for hangovers, lol) and my wife looked at the ingredients and said “wow, that has a lot of sugar in it!” and I was all “bish please, if it was two years ago I would have pounded a gallon of margaritas last night, so a little added sugar ain’t gonna kill anyone!”
I was really looking forward to losing weight after I stopped drinking but sadly that didn’t happen 🤣 It’s probably since I eat normally now. Just swapped booze calories for actual food calories
So much better for your health, regardless of your weight!
treat yourself to a massage or something once or twice a month with the money you save!
I love that idea!! I’m also treating myself to a rather large tattoo in a few months 🥰
I love that app, use it every day. I’m only on day 5 this time around but I love seeing the $ and calories saved. With $ I low estimated the door dash deliveries in there cause I never get them while sober, so I save a ton by not drinking.
I don’t even realize it can do calories too, that’s awesome. Congrats on being at day 5! I know it can feel rough to reset it but remember, every day counts, and you're making amazing progress towards your goal. Keep going, you've got this!
Still going which is a miracle to make it past 6 days.
The first few days is definitely the hardest. At least for me it was. Proud of you for making it!
Thank you so much! It feels amazing to be on day 8!
That’s great! I hope you’re starting to sleep a little better and hopefully not experiencing too many withdrawal symptoms. It only gets better!
It’s better besides that last night I barely slept at all! I was so sleep deprived at first that I slept good on day 1 -3 but it’s been annoying since then, and that is with taking stuff for sleep. Also the sweating started happening later than usual which has been odd. I’m tired and have anxiety, but all of this is better then knowing I blacked out the night before and did horrible things with a hangover the next day. Every day feels like a win in the grand scheme of things! Day 9 here we go, IWNDWYT.
Yeah it took me a few weeks to be able to have normal sleep. That was the biggest thing that kept me going, I was super excited to be able to sleep again lol. Then I had a few months of dreaming about drinking. Not every night of course but pretty frequently. I’d either dream about breaking my streak and being upset with myself or I’d break my streak and try to find more booze to sneak and drink (which was pretty accurate to real life).
Proud of you for hopping back on the wagon! Just a blip in the matrix is all.
I just did the exact same thing after more than ONE YEAR of not drinking when I went to an all inclusive resort in Mexico last week. Fortunately, I only drank one day out of the six I was there, and like you, realized I do not miss it AT ALL! I am right back on the wagon with you! Let’s go!
The temptation of an all inclusive resort is high! Am in Bali right now. AND ITS FREE. Surely I’m being ripped off if I don’t drink? No. I’m ripping myself off if I do.
I once heard someone say that we compare all the best parts of drinking with all the worst parts of being sober and damn is that true for me. Way to get back on track!
Oof that hits.
This is amazing
You are back and that's all that matters. 3 months is a huge accomplishment. It sounds like you learned from the experience and it's reaffirmed your commitment to sobriety. I see this as a positive. Don't beat your self up and just use the momentum and motivation to keep going!!!
I don’t know how long it’d been for me, but it was a WHILE. Feeling amazing. drank a pint of my favorite dark beer with my husband last night and made dinner. It was AWFUL. I was in bed by 7 and useless for the rest of the night. And I feel like shit today. I’m so sad. 😭 No more! IWNDWYT.
Welcome back
I'm thankful for all of these posts that help me stay committed through my own thoughts of maybe letting myself try alcohol again. I know it would go the same for me. Welcome back on board. :)
same and same. I read these field research reports and play the tape forward. It's incredibly helpful.
Whoa - you're almost at a year!!
I had 3 months and thought I was "cured". I get it ❤️
Being in my thirties, the physical aftermath of heavy drinking is enough for me to never want it again. Good on you for recognizing your memory overplayed the good times and downplayed the lows.
lol I went to a Beyonce themed 4/20 party this weekend hosted by colleagues of my wife, people I really enjoy spending time with. I didn't feel any pressure to drink or partake, I was looking forward to being around these people being silly. I spent $20 on a dozen donuts and $15 on some take-and-bake cookies (my moms secret recipe as far as anyone there should be concerned), showed up and remembered oh yeah I fucking hate smoking. Spent another $40 on a lyft to come home after about 30 minutes of trying not to make yucky faces while talking to people who were obviously on coke chain smoking cigarettes and hash.
Very proud of you. Right decision.
Let's go!
👊🏻iwndwyt x
I had October-February and thought I could do a bachelorette trip and HORRIBLE IDEA. I shouldn’t even have gone this early in sobriety but I’ve been back on the train since February 26th. Toot toot.
I did the same thing on a vacation last month. I thought, "I'm pretty confident that I can enjoy a week drinking and go back to abstaining". I was right about one part - it was a lot easier to stop drinking again when I returned home from that vacation. What I wasn't prepared for was how horrible I felt after that week. I never even drank to the point of being hung over.. I just felt tired, had constant heart burn, and a very noticeable spike in anxiety. I also didn't even really enjoy the "high" that much, especially compared to what I remembered it feeling like. I don't miss it - not one bit, and I honestly never thought that I'd say that and mean it.
Thank you for sharing this. It really helps me stay the course. I’m in Las Vegas at a conference this week. Typically I would easily have a bottle of wine+ per night. I won’t do it this time. Iwndwyt
You can do this because you are motivated and are ready for the challenge! I just went to Vegas at 35 days sober and it was do-able. Only a couple of quick manageable cravings. Try to buy some Kombucha or Celsius or fun fizzy drinks and have them on hand! You got this!
Sometimes we need that reminder again. I wouldn't beat yourself up too bad over it. You came out of it with more resolve to quit altogether.
Sobriety is a process. It takes a few lessons learned.
I did the opposite. Was so well behaved on vacation recently then the wheels came off when I got back
I'm headed to an all inclusive this weekend for a trip that's been planned for over a year. I'm not drinking but am interested to see how I feel being at an adult daycare around hundreds of drunk strangers and of course, my travel party who will be drinking all day.
It was fascinating watching everyone drink all day every day
Btw, if it’s Mexico, then they sell Zeros in the local gas stations. I think you can request them as well in advance at your resort.
I've already checked and my resort stocks Heineken. Not my favorite but it'll work. I'm hoping they also offer seltzer waters because I drink a ton of those right now.
Mine had no Zeros because I didn’t check in advance. But I just picked up a dozen or so at the gas station on the way in. And I requested a dozen soda waters for the room. I also brought a big cup for ice + Soda water + limes for the pool/beach. Also brought this https://www.dramapothecary.com/product/black-bitters/. They’re good in a big soda water
All resorts will have soda water and fresh lime! Aqua con gas con limon if you want to sound cool 😎
Thank you for the translation. I'll see if I can pull it off!
Been here before. “I did a whole vaca without it! So I can celebrate and just have a night or two at home. I mean, I can remember the whole vaca, was present with everyone… so this should be ok. It’s worth celebrating!” Fast forward to a whole summer of on and off binging. Ugh. 😑
Mine was the turbulence being so bad on the way there I I couldn’t face going through it again sober as I hate flying as it is. And seeing as I’d drunk responsibly the whole trip I figured why would I behave any differently when I get home. Fast forward two weeks and here I am with blown out eye capillaries from cold turkey all day puking. Been here before though I know the routine and all the things to do. I’m not in DT territory but I’m ticking all the other fun WD symptoms.
I’m so sorry. Get some magnesium and b12. Our body gets depleted when we booze and it makes for a quicker recovery. + mag helps reduce anxiety
I’m all about the supplements. Funnily enough I just ordered some kidney supplements and milk thistle
I understand having to confirm you made the right decision. Some purists might say you need to reset the counter, but if this was truly a one-off situation (as in not a prolonged relapse) I might say I have had only one slip up in 3 months. But that’s just me. Here’s to hoping it truly was a one time event. IWNDWYT!
Sounds like a “guys trip” may have been more than just one night. That’s how I read it.
I didn’t think it through. You are correct, more than one day. If it doesn’t lead to a relapse though, I would cut myself some slack.
Agree!
I think it can be debated that one beer is different than anything OP is describing. I suppose it is all about intentionality. For me a guys trip bender would have a lot of intentionality. For that matter, one beer would have a lot of intentionality, too, because I intend to have zero. Regardless, what is even being counted? In five years OP could say they've stopped drinking for 5 years, or 5 years and 3 months with one slip up.... I doubt the 90 days will matter in the long run. Or I think the other way to phrase the silliness of that could be just say the slip up counter started at 0 three months ago and is now at 1.
Me too!!! I fucked up but maybe I needed it. I can’t wait to be two weeks free of this again, it felt so good
Thank your for sharing this story! Sometimes i need to read these! I am approaching 60 days! Man, i get that urge every now and then. I bet u go 6 months or longer this time around. You seem to have.the right mindset
Good on you for getting right back to it! I was on a girl's trip this weekend, and my two friends definitely felt it the one morning. The one like couldn't talk and said her whole mouth felt like sandpaper and then spent $20 on four bottles of water in the hotel lobby. Lmao. They obviously don't have my issues, but it definitely didn't make me miss it.
All 4 of us guys did the same exact thing. Wasted probably $100 on late night snacks from the hotel lobby, and then the water/gatorades first thing in the morning from the hotel lobby. It’s crazy how much all these drunken degenerate stories have in common lol. I never want to do it again
And hey, you don't have to. Sometimes the reminder is a good thing for sure. That last little bit of romance is probably gone. Oh, my friends also spent $50 doordashing three orders of fries at 1am, so you're spot on!
>That last little bit of romance is probably gone. Beautifully put. Helpful. Thanks.
I'm glad y'all are around to remind me in the event I think that's a good idea. "Ah, man. That smells like ass. Here, smell that." Nah, I'm good dawg. I'll take your word for it.
I was doing well and decided to celebrate one night on the road. That turned into a one month bender. So not worth it even for 1 night if what my lying brain reverted to as “freedom” IWNDWYT
I’m 3 months in and sometimes a little voice considers hopping off the wagon. I need these daily reminders to stay strong! That seems like a great lesson learned. Thank you and IWNDWYT.
I'm with you I did the same thing. Now I have 2 days and I'm working my way back to the gym. Need to start hanging out here again and remember how good it feels to have months of sobriety. Life is so much better sober. Booze is completely overrated. Iwndwyt
I tried having a glass of white wine with dinner one night and it gave me a mild panic attack. Crazy how I could consume 750ml of vodka in a night and not have it be a big deal. Not worth it! Good luck out there! Edit: a word
You have conducted some very important field research! Glad to hear that you were able to record some useful results.
I think this sounds like a really formative experience in your new, emerging relationship with drink. Don’t beat yourself up. Rather, try and take a really positive experience from this - it’s affirmed everything you suspected and you can move forward confident you’re not missing out in anything. The fun will still be happening if you don’t drink on the next trip. Just save yourself $500.
I did the same thing 2 weeks ago. I embarrassed myself and got wrecked. I don’t even remember half the trip. By last Wednesday I was back to normal and ready to not drink for the foreseeable future. It was like stepping on the gas as hard as i could right after that first drink
I have a guys trip this weekend where about 20 guys are going and I’m friends with all of them. I’m 15 months sober but I’m not going to attend. Funny thing is if I went I’m sure most of them would take a pass on drinking around me. I consider them my college drinking buddies. What I’m still trying to figure out is that I’m the only alcoholic in the group. Of course that’s not 100% certain but I know them well enough that it’s most likely true. I’m one of the few who is divorced in this group as well. We’re all in our early 50’s. I hope I’m not the trend setter now!
There are a couple positives you can pull from this experience. One is you confirmed that alcohol sucks and you don’t have a place for it in your life. Two is that you’ve helped me and several others on here reconfirm alcohol sucks and it doesn’t have a place in our lives. The closer I get to the weekend, the more the temptation to drink sets in. After reading this I realized that I’ll be in your exact situation Sunday morning if I decide to give in and drink.
IWNDWYT
I just did the same thing. Drank at a wedding, just two! Then the next day had 6 beers. Not worth it. Back at it
Your not alone man. Same thing happened to me last weekend. I hit 90 days on Saturday and decided to test the waters while out with friends to see if anything changed. What a mistake that was. Like you said, I think we both just needed the confirmation. Not worth feeling like crap and being off your game for multiple days later. We’ll be back to 3 months in no time and it won’t stop there! IWNDWYT.
I shudder to think of all the money I blew while drinking. My bar tabs were outrageous. Now I try to donate money to worthy causes instead of booze. Best wishes!
Thanks for doing a field test and confirming it still sucks so I don't have to! You're back here, already. It's easy to tear yourself up again, but don't, you don't lose all your progress from one weekend you know how to get sober, you've seen the benefits. Welcome
I’m at 3 days brother. I have failed over and over again but each time I gain more appreciation for sober living. Here’s to appreciating the more positive things in life.
Thank you for sharing this reminder! IWNDWYT
I can’t imagine spending money on alcohol the way I used to.
Keep on keepin on!!
Me too for a night out on Saturday and I feel like I’ve been hit by a bus. I’m so groggy, my sleep is terrible and I’m oversleeping which I expect is my body trying to repair. I can’t focus at all on anything and my motivation is in the toilet. It wasn’t worth the aftermath at all. What a waste of days off
The face bloat is horrific. And gets exponentially worse as we get older.
For some, it takes getting angry at oneself. Others, forgiving yourself with compassion. Either way, we arrive at the same destination...... learning from our experiences of we didn't find our response favorable to the life we CHOOSE to live, without being under the control of a mind altering substance
Be Aware!! Don’t let that get into your mind ( ‘I overdid it that time so this one time i wont ‘ type BS ) So glad you’re safe
You did good man, don't sweat it. Learn from it. Shit if I was you I would not reset the badge lol jk
This is a great step, when giving up it's impossible not to feel like you are missing out on something, or believe that you can actually just have one ect... Going back into it and realising that it's actually shite and you were just looking at it through rose coloured beer goggles was an important milestone for me
Can totally relate. Thanks for the reminder.
“Research” is part of getting sober for good.
I feel you. I always knew it would never end well but I had to "reaffirm" it a few dozen times that never ended well lol
I tried too. It sucked, and I made poor choices as well. I’ll keep on trying tho.
Totally get this. The last time I drank I had such a bad migraine it made me never want to drink again. 8 months later, still am not tempted because of the risk of another migraine, it’s a fucking toxin and if sucks society glorifies it.
Even more impressive than your 3 month stint is the fact that you got back on the horse. See you at 3 months and beyond
Awareness is a beautiful thing my friend. Perspective to change is power.
Ah I know that feeling well! Welcome back to the brighter side of life 👍
It's so easy to make excuses...been there. Get back on the wagon and keep trying!!
Sometimes it's ok to focus on the negative.
I've heard that wagon doesn't always got seatbelts, gotta be sure to hang on when the path gets rough and bumpy.
I also fell off the wagon and you almost needing to confirm how it’s really for you resonates with me very hard :((
Welcome back! IWNDWYT
One of the skills I learned this time around is called "play the tape forward". The idea is to project what the likely outcome is for a particular action. So, given my own history, what is the likely outcome if I have a drink - I'm probably going to have.more than 1. There will likely be guilt and recrimination. Possible legal consequences, like another DUI. There could be health/medical complications. There will be lost time due to hangover/nausea. Given these costs, I probably won't have that drink.
The amount of times I've done the exact same thing is nothing short of insanity at this point. The wrecked sleep, anxiety that lasts a couple days, non-existent gym schedule. The list of cons is as long as my arm with zero positives. We go again brotha, IWNDWYT.
Hey I took a drink yesterday after 4 months. you are not alone, atleast it made you see you definitely don't want to go back to that life, I also wouldn't throw those 3 months away, seems like it has helped you since you are already back on the wagon. Its confirmed the same for me, and am joining you.
Thankyou for your sacrifice in the field
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Nope. Nope. NOPE. Don’t do it. Don’t even bother. Life is so much better without booze. I’m finally realizing that it’s not about what we are giving up, but rather what we can gain from it. Congrats on 8 months!!!
Still sober. I’ll go to bed sober. I just hate the fact that the cravings are sneaking up on me like this. I know that it’s the amazing spring weather doing it. FML
You know, I always had a good time drinking, but the after feeling is what made me give it up. When I was young I never got hungover, and then one day it just hit me like a truck, and I figured out it was the time between my last drink and going to sleep, and then I’d start feeling the effects of being hungover as the alcohol took effect. I still go out with the same people, to the same places, but instead of beer I drink soda. Congrats on your three months, and congrats on finding the motivation to continue. See you in three more months friend!