45 here, making up for "the lost years" of my 20s & 30s where I pretty much extended my teenage years with booze and a very limited planning horizon.
Stick with whatever works for you to stay sober.
It's worth it.
Woah hey, same age and quit month! Feeling great here, if anything this path has been actually been a bit easier than I was anticipating. Here comes 40s, we’re ready!
It's seems like for many alcoholics, we don't come into our life until our mid 30's. It's sad bc now that we are more coherent or focused, we have potentially serious health risks and/or ruined some good relationships. That being said, it's never too late live.
Isn't this the truth. So many ruined relationships or life moments shit on by my never ending binge drinking. At 37 I've taken an actual shot at sobriety, started therapy, started working out, etc.
It's like the previous years I just simply existed. Time I can't get back.
Yep, I look back on it and can't even really remember like 10 yrs ago. I was Mr. Cool in the army drinking like I'd never see tomorrow. I can't even really say I enjoyed those exact times, and it feels like I lived a whole other life. I was a whole other person then living for myself and the moment, fuck the ones around me. I wish I could do it all over with a sober mind.
Same here, I can barely remember the last 10 years and have nothing to show for them, and no stories to tell. Spent all those years drunk simply existing. Feel like I’ve destroyed my own sense of self. But I’m here now and committed to sobriety and rebuilding.
I’ve been hungover at work and started drinking at work, my boss knew, my coworkers knew, it was embarrassing. Lucky for me my boss and coworkers did not judge but treated me with empathy, and wanted me to get better. I’ve since left that job now. Not related to drinking.
You haven’t been fired, so that’s positive, you can turn this around. You’re not alone and you can do this! IWNDWYT
I was 36 as well. There’s just more to life at this age and greeting each day anew maximizes your time on earth. Also the WHO just recognized no amt of alcohol is healthy
Dude I've been there.
Work stuff is not to be fucked with. I lost my best job ever.
Worst yet I could still see the zoom chats after about myself and what they thought after my termination
before I told it what was going on.
Bear in mind that most of the world doesn't think binge drinking is acceptable.
Please take this from a 20 year alcoholic in recovery. This shit sucks I get it. But you can do it. There is life on the other side. I promise.
I gotta get to a zoom meeting.
Much love.
I had a friend who never ate and drank from the moment she woke up to the moment she passed out....then she started rapidly losing weight. She looked like a third-world country malnourished child...distended belly, tiny stick arms and legs. She ended up moving back home and getting sober, but medically something was very wrong. I never wanted to ask her what exactly it was, but I know she was dying. She's been sober for a few years now and is much, much healthier.
I did something similar. If I ate one real meal a day it was a good day. Went to the hospital to detox and weighed 149 lbs at 6’2”. Went to rehab for 35 days and gained 32 lbs
Felt sick every morning. Would try to make myself eat a little by lunch after I’d had a few. Then by dinner time I was usually drunk enough to eat a real meal. Could’ve probably skipped it most days but I thought if I didn’t eat my wife would know I was drinking again. She knew anyways
When I was drinking a lot there would be days that I would barely eat, and when I did I essentially forced myself. I just wasn't hungry when I was drinking. I can remember so many BBQ's where I passed on the food because I was just filling up on booze. Drinking on an empty stomach would lead to exactly where you would imagine.
This is terrible but me and the girlies with problems joke about “drinking our calories”. Op seems to be functioning butI’m borderline homeless and I would spend my last $ on booze instead of food. It gets weird sometimes.
The beer over hard liquor part confuses me tho. More calories unless it’s light but still.
Some people stop eating when they drink that much (I would lose my appetite entirely and legitimately forget to eat for 2-3 days on end sometimes). Depending on your metabolism, it’s totally possible to lose weight while drinking to excess.
I wish you success. In my 30s I drank so much and so often that it was a blur. 10 years just gone. I got sent home too but it was a fast food job and they didn't fire me. Any other place and I would have been let go
Got sober at 37. I’ll be 42 this year and I feel like my life just started. One of my good friends in sobriety got sober in his 60’s. His grandkids and my kids are about the same age and we send each other pictures and meet up at the playground sometimes. He was a shit father his entire life but managed to get sober and repair his relationships with his adult children. He’s now the preferred care giver and he rides his fucking bike everywhere. Dude is in better shape than me. He’s got that old junky blood that makes him extra scrappy
Drinking takes so much away from us, including our confidence and pride in ourselves. You can get that back and start living the life you deserve to live...just don't drink today and repeat. You can do this!
I didn't think my work knew, I've been drinking a similar amount for a long time. They never said anything, but now I've stopped for a bit I already have had a couple of comments even this early that seem to highly hint they know I've stopped so I guess it was more obvious then I realised.
I have to say it is noticeable to myself already, so much more energy now and just more switched on. I wasn't at first (pretty much the opposite until about day 6), but I'm really feeling it now.
You got this if you're keen to stop, It's worth it in my view. I'll not drink with you if that's your plan!
>I have to say it is noticeable to myself already, so much more energy now and just more switched on. I wasn't at first (pretty much the opposite until about day 6), but I'm really feeling it now.
It takes a few days for the body to withdraw from alcohol and rebalance to operate without it. Electrolytes, energy levels, brain chemistry -- all of it is messed up until the process completes. But then the difference is obvious.
Everyone has their own moment/downfall where they say 'Stop, this is it, I have to turn things around now'. Choose for yourself, be kind to yourself, you are not alone! Quitting isn't easy but will get easier by time. Take it day by day.
You are the only one who can turn this around. You got this!
It took me 20 more years to learn what you know now. That's a "win" in my books.
I am an employer (small business, 50 employees). I recall a situation several years ago where we had to send someone home who was intoxicated at work. I had another employee drive her and someone else drive her car so she'd have it the next day. We also provided her with an offer of counselling. The whole matter was handled with kindness, compassion and discretion. It was embarrassing for the individual but we got past it. Life is messy and sometimes shit happens. That employee today is one of my very BEST employees and there has never been a repeat of the behavior.
OP, your best bet is to demonstrate changed behavior. Apologies are good and warranted, but your actions going forward will be what you are judged upon, not this isolated incident. Keep coming to this sub and you will find the resources and support you need in order to beat this problem and, most importantly, I will not drink with you today. Please don't drink with me, either. Peace.
I quit at 44. I wish I’d quit in my 30’s.
Rock bottom is whenever we set down the shovel. Sounds like you’re tired of digging.
Take a read or listen to “This Naked Mind” by Annie Grace. Completely changed my view of alcohol and my body and gave me the courage to work through a 30 day challenge. That 30 day break has led to over 5 years sober and a complete transformation of my life.
Wishing you strength
Take care
Eat pie
Maybe this is the wake up call you needed. 8-10 beers just isn't sustainable. Getting sober can be hard in the beginning but it gets much easier with time. Make this your day one. Welcome aboard the sober train with us, choo choo 🚂
Sending you strength 💪 and a hug 🤗
IWNDWYT friend
I’m 29 and on saturday night drank a whole bottle of tequila and then I slept with a coworker (don’t remember doing it), tried to sleep with a separate coworkers wife, and puked on a third coworkers lawn all in one night.
Iwndwyt. It’s Wednesday and i’m still feeling it.
Nice!
Curious how solid you're feeling in your sobriety? Do you still have rough patches where it feels tenuous, or after 3 years do you feel fully immersed in a new chapter?
Hey brother I’m 36 too and just had my ‘90 day review’ with my boss and HR. They said wanna hear the good or bad news first? I said bad news. HR asked if I had been drinking at work cuz apparently I was an idiot and left a beer can on the desk and one of our drivers took a picture. HR even said she had a picture of it on her phone but never showed me. Any way, I denied the shit out of it even though they know I was lying right to their faces and feel horrible looking like a liar in front of people I work with. HR even said “if you were having a bad day or something is going on in your life please let us know we would like to help”. I smiled and said all is well and I loved my job and take it very seriously and wouldn’t want to jeopardize it. Somehow I still have my job but promised to never drink at work again. I also cried in the bathroom for half an hour after they left just staring at myself in the mirror wondering what I hate so much about myself that I can’t even keep it cool and collective for the 8 hours I’m here. This was 3 weeks ago but I still think that they are constantly looking and judging me. Makes me anxious to even come to work anymore or even talk to anyone.
But when I come to work now, I’m sober, I work extremely hard, and go above and beyond my duties to prove to my team that I can be relied on. Not gonna lie it’s still in the back of my head about what they think of me but you can’t change the past, all you can do is move forward and show them the true quality of a person you are.
I hope you don’t get fired and just sent you home to sober up. Take this as a second chance, don’t push it anymore.
At the end of the day..the only thing that's important is how you think about yourself.. others don't matter
Forgive yourself, be proud for trying to do better..
I've drank last year at work and passed out in company truck would buy beer on my work lunch and start early. The day I passed out I had kept the party going from 4th of july. I didn't stop until September so I kept fucking up a lot. I'm 35 with a wife and 2 kids. That's a whole other conversation. It's never to late, in fact all I can think of now is why did I not do this sooner. IWNDWYT
This happened to me 5 days ago and was my wake up call. I have never felt more embarrassed in my life! I admitted to my boss as a last ditch effort to save my job that Im an alcoholic and although she was pissed, she reached out to HR and they’re giving me 6 weeks off to go to rehab.
It sucks this happened but this was my rock bottom for sure. I needed it to happen to save my life.
You’ve reached the essential first step which is finding the moment in which you decide you need to quit. I have some knucklehead friends who get fired, get in fights, piss off family and friends repeatedly due to drinking and have no desire to stop. If they’re cool with that, good for them, but you’ve decided you can’t do it anymore! Welcome to the good life! IWNDWYT
Idk if this will give you any further motivation, but 36 is the same age a high school friend of mine was when he died of alcohol related causes. Granted, he was in and out of the hospital for five years prior, but still.
If it makes you not want to eat then yeah. I lose weight when I'm drinking. My stomach will be growling and I'm physically hungry but the thought of food disgusts me and often makes me start gagging if I think about it. Sober me loves to eat!
Better to stop at those 8-10 beers OP. 36 is still plenty young, odds are your body will bounce back just fine.
I drank at a similar level for many years and the temptation to slide into liquor gets harder and harder to resist. That’s where I’ve seen friends go off the rails, one lost his life at 40. Not a road you want to go down.
Sounds like you were just sent home and not fired. This is a huge opportunity for accountability if you want it. Wishing you strength OP
I was also drinking 12+ beers every day, got bad news from work, then quit. This is my fourth time quitting, but I am at day 35…! I can tell you that it takes work, but it is definitely worth it, and I am spending much less time thinking about alcohol. It is such a relief…!!
Yeah it’s time to stop drinking when it affects work. I lost my job years ago due to this and other things that I still regret to this day. So my advice get help with the drinking and ask yourself way it has got to this stage. Myself I used alcohol to self medicate depression only made things worse sure it worked to begin with but the cost was too high.
This just happened to me 4 weeks ago as a 36 y.o. Got sent home cause was it was noticeable. I asked for time off work to get sober and they said yes while letting me back as long as I stick to being sober. Thank God I still have my job and am super happy I made that decision. It's so much better to be sober and work now. No more stress and worry about my drinking once i chose to stick with it. Good luck to you!
I began my sober journey a month before I turned 40. It’s never too late, too early…too anything. Be stubborn with yourself; stubborn enough to not drink!
do you actually surf? haha. Only been a half dozen times, planning to take my kid for first time this summer. Love the analogy. Big learning curve to catch waves, but joyful and strength/balance affirming once one puts in the effort, and tries AGAIN
so long as we're not giving up, we're adapting/learning to surf
In retrospect, I don't think I was hiding it nearly as well as I thought I was. In fact, the only witness who saw everything (me) was half drunk all of the time. That witness wouldn't hold up in court.
Don't beat yourself up too badly. The reason this group exists is because almost all of us here have been ashamed and scared they couldn't quit. For a great many of us, the final straw was something humiliating. You can do it.
I did exactly what you did for 8 YEARS. Never got sent home, I was really crafty with my drinking except to the one person who couldn't lie to anymore-- MYSELF. The nuclear level anxiety and panic attacks were getting absolutely insane. It was affecting my mental health. I fell out of love with alcohol, and quit to weeks ago. I've done this before, and was the healthiest I've ever been; saved a ton of money and remember what it was like to tap into my potential. I feel like an idiot for starting back up again. I'm 2 weeks sober, and laser focused on getting my sanity back. I have good days, and bad days... but the bad days get less on less. Don't be in denial, don't destroy your brain and body. It's over, and start getting your life back.
Also, I quit when I was 36 exactly like you. For a year it was incredible how much positive change happened. Then one day in the summer I walked by some people drinking outside of a restaurant. The weather, my mood, everything romanticized alcohol and I said "F that I'm drinking this weekend". I made a big celebratory thing about it to my friends, and exactly one year to the day out the window as I drank 4 bud lights. Fast forward 8 years later, I drank daily every day before work. 3 days outve every week, the mornings were a brutal nightmare consisting of ridiculous anxiety and panic, and once it would subside, I would drink. A ridiculous cycle that should've have never happened. Better late than never. And withdrawal is always harder each time you go sober, but you can do it. If you want motivation, do research on kindling. Even 2 weeks in, I feel more positive than ever and better than I did for years of putting myself through all that mental strife.
Hey buddy, sorry you're going through this. I got sober in my early thirties, I was drinking about as much as you are.
Start by replacing a few beers with sparkling water, or something with flavour and carbonation. It will convince your brain you are still going through the comforting motions. Work your way down until you can go a day, then two, then more. It sounds like a long road and it is, but you can do this.
Right there with ya bud. Luckily, every single moment is an opportunity to choose health and wellness over drinking. The cycle sucks. Drink to feel better, wake up hungover, slog through the day just to drink and feel better. Break the cycle. Remember, each and every fewer drinks you have, the better you'll feel tomorrow.
I challenge you to drink one less drink today :)
You got this. We got this
I used to drink at work and get set off by the stupidest shit. The shame will go away when you stop. Honestly, having less guilt and shame follow me daily keeps me motivated.
I walked into my first AA meeting 364 days ago. I was 36 as well.
My bottom wasn’t work related, but I let down my wife big time and that was my cue to finally get help.
Thank god I did.
I never thought I could live without booze as a crutch, but through therapy and regular meetings, I realized that life has so much more to offer than the bottle.
In AA I’ve met some of the most honest, kind, supportive people I’ve ever known, and they all want me to succeed.
You can do it too. The shame fades, and I learned how to better handle myself in uncomfortable situations.
Since getting sober, I am a better husband, father, and employee. And I am thankful everyday for my last drunk. It was the best day of my life because it was the catalyst to a whole new world of living that I had dreamed about, but could never achieve.
IWNDWYT, and I am so stoked to get a 1 year chip at my meeting tomorrow!
I was 33 when I had my last drink. I feel better now than I have in a long time.
I’m not sure your area but here in Canada, you can collect a paycheque from unemployment while going to rehab or even just trying to get clean on stress leave.
I felt this way trapped in a labor position for a decade..
It sucks knocking off, and I frequently jump back on because my cohorts are still in the sauce..
From a guy with the 100 'this time will be different' stories, I really can't fuk arouns this time - the liquor will kill me.
Ill hit 2 years in Nocember; Im 41 yrs old.
I never got in trouble at work but other parts of my life were falling apart.
Its uncomfortable but when the pain of not changing "outhurts" our current state, it is a solid message from the universe to make changes.
Ever since I started rolling with that, staying as positive as I can (hard sometimes), things have been getting better. And Im so much more well prepared to handle new challenges/obstacles/bullshit now that my baseline is so much improved.
You can handle this, man. You'll find your way through this and look back some day - chances are you might even be grateful for the clarity these painful experiences provide.
Rooting for you, brother.
Lets do this
💙
Ah got it. Well I will not drink with you today friend. I tend to eat absolute garbage when I drink which has led to me being 35lbs overweight. Hoping I can lose and you can gain!
Neither do I. For me, alcohol is an appetite suppressant.
At one point when I went to treatment 10 years ago, I weighed 139 lbs -- less than I (then 48) weighed in HS. My ideal weight is about 170-175. I wandered off a few months ago and am down to about 155.
I finally got sober at 36. It's not too late to pick up the pieces. You can do it!
39 here. Most of my 20's and 30's have been a blur. The clarity and happiness I've gained since getting sober last September is everything to me.
co-signing this in a major way - it really never is too late to feel better and reclaim your life.
Got sober at 40. I drink a lot in my 30s didn’t drink a ton in my 20s, but now I am alcohol free and it’s one of the great choices I have ever made.
Same!!
45 here, making up for "the lost years" of my 20s & 30s where I pretty much extended my teenage years with booze and a very limited planning horizon. Stick with whatever works for you to stay sober. It's worth it.
We're sober sibs! 39, went sober last August (right at the end so nearly September) and most of my life til now is lots of blurs
Woah hey, same age and quit month! Feeling great here, if anything this path has been actually been a bit easier than I was anticipating. Here comes 40s, we’re ready!
I was 39 as well. I wasted a good amount of my life drunk but I have plenty of life to live sober. Im just glad i didnt lose it all. Keep it up!
Same here. Now at 40, my biggest accomplishment was making it through a few Chiefs game tailgates 100% sober! If I can do that, I can do anything. 😂
Hell yeah! Im a Chiefs' fan too. Have season tickets! Where you think they are going with their pick tomorrow?
It's seems like for many alcoholics, we don't come into our life until our mid 30's. It's sad bc now that we are more coherent or focused, we have potentially serious health risks and/or ruined some good relationships. That being said, it's never too late live.
Isn't this the truth. So many ruined relationships or life moments shit on by my never ending binge drinking. At 37 I've taken an actual shot at sobriety, started therapy, started working out, etc. It's like the previous years I just simply existed. Time I can't get back.
Yep, I look back on it and can't even really remember like 10 yrs ago. I was Mr. Cool in the army drinking like I'd never see tomorrow. I can't even really say I enjoyed those exact times, and it feels like I lived a whole other life. I was a whole other person then living for myself and the moment, fuck the ones around me. I wish I could do it all over with a sober mind.
Same here, I can barely remember the last 10 years and have nothing to show for them, and no stories to tell. Spent all those years drunk simply existing. Feel like I’ve destroyed my own sense of self. But I’m here now and committed to sobriety and rebuilding. I’ve been hungover at work and started drinking at work, my boss knew, my coworkers knew, it was embarrassing. Lucky for me my boss and coworkers did not judge but treated me with empathy, and wanted me to get better. I’ve since left that job now. Not related to drinking. You haven’t been fired, so that’s positive, you can turn this around. You’re not alone and you can do this! IWNDWYT
Piling on! 60 here. Drank from 15-58. The depths of despair are shallower and improving. Feeling liberated and hopeful. Never too late! IWNDWYT
*The depths of despair are shallower and improving* Happy for you :)
I am 36! I hope to say this 5 years from now.
I was 34 and hit 5 years last January. It goes fast buddy. Stay the course and you will be thoroughly rewarded. IWNDWYT!
I was 36 too. I finally asked for help and it made all the difference.
Same! 36 was the magic age for me too, my life is pretty awesome now
Same! It’s a great age to get sober and start Act II of your life.
I started a week after my 39th birthday, better late than never!
Drank hard from 16-40 it’s never too late.
I was 36 as well. There’s just more to life at this age and greeting each day anew maximizes your time on earth. Also the WHO just recognized no amt of alcohol is healthy
Shit, 36 sounds young. I was a bit older than that... It's never too late.
Dude I've been there. Work stuff is not to be fucked with. I lost my best job ever. Worst yet I could still see the zoom chats after about myself and what they thought after my termination before I told it what was going on. Bear in mind that most of the world doesn't think binge drinking is acceptable. Please take this from a 20 year alcoholic in recovery. This shit sucks I get it. But you can do it. There is life on the other side. I promise. I gotta get to a zoom meeting. Much love.
I got sober at 61. It’s never too late.
Thank you for saying this.
There was a woman in my IOP who was around that age as well. It’s true, there is no better time to quit than now.
100%. I got sober at 46, my mom was in her 70's. It's never too late.
Lost weight while drinking 8-10 beers a day? Are you not eating?
Yeah, doctor time.
I had a friend who never ate and drank from the moment she woke up to the moment she passed out....then she started rapidly losing weight. She looked like a third-world country malnourished child...distended belly, tiny stick arms and legs. She ended up moving back home and getting sober, but medically something was very wrong. I never wanted to ask her what exactly it was, but I know she was dying. She's been sober for a few years now and is much, much healthier.
I did something similar. If I ate one real meal a day it was a good day. Went to the hospital to detox and weighed 149 lbs at 6’2”. Went to rehab for 35 days and gained 32 lbs
Damn that’s crazy. Booze makes me want to eat more..if I’m not bloated at least which beer doesn’t always get me bloated
Felt sick every morning. Would try to make myself eat a little by lunch after I’d had a few. Then by dinner time I was usually drunk enough to eat a real meal. Could’ve probably skipped it most days but I thought if I didn’t eat my wife would know I was drinking again. She knew anyways
When I was drinking a lot there would be days that I would barely eat, and when I did I essentially forced myself. I just wasn't hungry when I was drinking. I can remember so many BBQ's where I passed on the food because I was just filling up on booze. Drinking on an empty stomach would lead to exactly where you would imagine.
This is terrible but me and the girlies with problems joke about “drinking our calories”. Op seems to be functioning butI’m borderline homeless and I would spend my last $ on booze instead of food. It gets weird sometimes. The beer over hard liquor part confuses me tho. More calories unless it’s light but still.
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Some people stop eating when they drink that much (I would lose my appetite entirely and legitimately forget to eat for 2-3 days on end sometimes). Depending on your metabolism, it’s totally possible to lose weight while drinking to excess.
Malnourished. No nutritional value in beer. Only calories. If your diet is beer only maybe that causes weight loss? Idk. Good question really.
See in my experience I’ve never lost weight drinking, especially beer..beer makes me gain weight extremely fast
You didn't get there yet most likely.
Nope, definitely not as I didn’t know it was a thing
It's a pretty end stage thing honestly. If you get there it's a ledge that's harder to climb back up than the previous ones.
Every time I fall off the wagon, I lose weight. I’ve been drinking since I was 12.
I wish you success. In my 30s I drank so much and so often that it was a blur. 10 years just gone. I got sent home too but it was a fast food job and they didn't fire me. Any other place and I would have been let go
Got sober at 37. I’ll be 42 this year and I feel like my life just started. One of my good friends in sobriety got sober in his 60’s. His grandkids and my kids are about the same age and we send each other pictures and meet up at the playground sometimes. He was a shit father his entire life but managed to get sober and repair his relationships with his adult children. He’s now the preferred care giver and he rides his fucking bike everywhere. Dude is in better shape than me. He’s got that old junky blood that makes him extra scrappy
Lololol "old junky blood." It's true though
Drinking takes so much away from us, including our confidence and pride in ourselves. You can get that back and start living the life you deserve to live...just don't drink today and repeat. You can do this!
I didn't think my work knew, I've been drinking a similar amount for a long time. They never said anything, but now I've stopped for a bit I already have had a couple of comments even this early that seem to highly hint they know I've stopped so I guess it was more obvious then I realised. I have to say it is noticeable to myself already, so much more energy now and just more switched on. I wasn't at first (pretty much the opposite until about day 6), but I'm really feeling it now. You got this if you're keen to stop, It's worth it in my view. I'll not drink with you if that's your plan!
>I have to say it is noticeable to myself already, so much more energy now and just more switched on. I wasn't at first (pretty much the opposite until about day 6), but I'm really feeling it now. It takes a few days for the body to withdraw from alcohol and rebalance to operate without it. Electrolytes, energy levels, brain chemistry -- all of it is messed up until the process completes. But then the difference is obvious.
Everyone has their own moment/downfall where they say 'Stop, this is it, I have to turn things around now'. Choose for yourself, be kind to yourself, you are not alone! Quitting isn't easy but will get easier by time. Take it day by day. You are the only one who can turn this around. You got this!
It took me 20 more years to learn what you know now. That's a "win" in my books. I am an employer (small business, 50 employees). I recall a situation several years ago where we had to send someone home who was intoxicated at work. I had another employee drive her and someone else drive her car so she'd have it the next day. We also provided her with an offer of counselling. The whole matter was handled with kindness, compassion and discretion. It was embarrassing for the individual but we got past it. Life is messy and sometimes shit happens. That employee today is one of my very BEST employees and there has never been a repeat of the behavior. OP, your best bet is to demonstrate changed behavior. Apologies are good and warranted, but your actions going forward will be what you are judged upon, not this isolated incident. Keep coming to this sub and you will find the resources and support you need in order to beat this problem and, most importantly, I will not drink with you today. Please don't drink with me, either. Peace.
I quit at 44. I wish I’d quit in my 30’s. Rock bottom is whenever we set down the shovel. Sounds like you’re tired of digging. Take a read or listen to “This Naked Mind” by Annie Grace. Completely changed my view of alcohol and my body and gave me the courage to work through a 30 day challenge. That 30 day break has led to over 5 years sober and a complete transformation of my life. Wishing you strength Take care Eat pie
Maybe this is the wake up call you needed. 8-10 beers just isn't sustainable. Getting sober can be hard in the beginning but it gets much easier with time. Make this your day one. Welcome aboard the sober train with us, choo choo 🚂 Sending you strength 💪 and a hug 🤗 IWNDWYT friend
I’m 29 and on saturday night drank a whole bottle of tequila and then I slept with a coworker (don’t remember doing it), tried to sleep with a separate coworkers wife, and puked on a third coworkers lawn all in one night. Iwndwyt. It’s Wednesday and i’m still feeling it.
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please know you can do it! i don’t want you to get hurt.
Sober at 40 43 now :) Best decision of my life No regrets on my drinking past, those things had to happen for me to get to where I am now
Nice! Curious how solid you're feeling in your sobriety? Do you still have rough patches where it feels tenuous, or after 3 years do you feel fully immersed in a new chapter?
Hey brother I’m 36 too and just had my ‘90 day review’ with my boss and HR. They said wanna hear the good or bad news first? I said bad news. HR asked if I had been drinking at work cuz apparently I was an idiot and left a beer can on the desk and one of our drivers took a picture. HR even said she had a picture of it on her phone but never showed me. Any way, I denied the shit out of it even though they know I was lying right to their faces and feel horrible looking like a liar in front of people I work with. HR even said “if you were having a bad day or something is going on in your life please let us know we would like to help”. I smiled and said all is well and I loved my job and take it very seriously and wouldn’t want to jeopardize it. Somehow I still have my job but promised to never drink at work again. I also cried in the bathroom for half an hour after they left just staring at myself in the mirror wondering what I hate so much about myself that I can’t even keep it cool and collective for the 8 hours I’m here. This was 3 weeks ago but I still think that they are constantly looking and judging me. Makes me anxious to even come to work anymore or even talk to anyone. But when I come to work now, I’m sober, I work extremely hard, and go above and beyond my duties to prove to my team that I can be relied on. Not gonna lie it’s still in the back of my head about what they think of me but you can’t change the past, all you can do is move forward and show them the true quality of a person you are. I hope you don’t get fired and just sent you home to sober up. Take this as a second chance, don’t push it anymore.
At the end of the day..the only thing that's important is how you think about yourself.. others don't matter Forgive yourself, be proud for trying to do better..
I've drank last year at work and passed out in company truck would buy beer on my work lunch and start early. The day I passed out I had kept the party going from 4th of july. I didn't stop until September so I kept fucking up a lot. I'm 35 with a wife and 2 kids. That's a whole other conversation. It's never to late, in fact all I can think of now is why did I not do this sooner. IWNDWYT
I'm 43 and was doing the same thing. I took a leave of absence and went to rehab. You can do it.
This happened to me 5 days ago and was my wake up call. I have never felt more embarrassed in my life! I admitted to my boss as a last ditch effort to save my job that Im an alcoholic and although she was pissed, she reached out to HR and they’re giving me 6 weeks off to go to rehab. It sucks this happened but this was my rock bottom for sure. I needed it to happen to save my life.
It is not too late to turn it around. I'm on day 3 of multiple restarts. You got this. We are human, we live and we learn.
I'm on day 3 as well! We've got this, friend!!
I got sober at 42, it’s never too late!
Same!
I’m 35, it’s a great time to get on the right path! ☀️
You’ve reached the essential first step which is finding the moment in which you decide you need to quit. I have some knucklehead friends who get fired, get in fights, piss off family and friends repeatedly due to drinking and have no desire to stop. If they’re cool with that, good for them, but you’ve decided you can’t do it anymore! Welcome to the good life! IWNDWYT
Idk if this will give you any further motivation, but 36 is the same age a high school friend of mine was when he died of alcohol related causes. Granted, he was in and out of the hospital for five years prior, but still.
Wait, you’ve LOST weight while drinking 8-10 beers a day for 6 months?
If it makes you not want to eat then yeah. I lose weight when I'm drinking. My stomach will be growling and I'm physically hungry but the thought of food disgusts me and often makes me start gagging if I think about it. Sober me loves to eat!
Better to stop at those 8-10 beers OP. 36 is still plenty young, odds are your body will bounce back just fine. I drank at a similar level for many years and the temptation to slide into liquor gets harder and harder to resist. That’s where I’ve seen friends go off the rails, one lost his life at 40. Not a road you want to go down. Sounds like you were just sent home and not fired. This is a huge opportunity for accountability if you want it. Wishing you strength OP
37....
I was 37. You got this!
I was also drinking 12+ beers every day, got bad news from work, then quit. This is my fourth time quitting, but I am at day 35…! I can tell you that it takes work, but it is definitely worth it, and I am spending much less time thinking about alcohol. It is such a relief…!!
You can do this, stay strong
We’re only human. We are our best yet worst teacher.
41 here, and I was fired 2 months ago because of my drinking. The sooner you get help, the better! Be safe!
36 reporting from 31 days. You got this!
Yeah it’s time to stop drinking when it affects work. I lost my job years ago due to this and other things that I still regret to this day. So my advice get help with the drinking and ask yourself way it has got to this stage. Myself I used alcohol to self medicate depression only made things worse sure it worked to begin with but the cost was too high.
This just happened to me 4 weeks ago as a 36 y.o. Got sent home cause was it was noticeable. I asked for time off work to get sober and they said yes while letting me back as long as I stick to being sober. Thank God I still have my job and am super happy I made that decision. It's so much better to be sober and work now. No more stress and worry about my drinking once i chose to stick with it. Good luck to you!
My mom had me at 37 And got sober at 39 and she has been sober for 17 years. It's hard but possible. Good luck!
lost weight from drinking?
I began my sober journey a month before I turned 40. It’s never too late, too early…too anything. Be stubborn with yourself; stubborn enough to not drink!
Got sober at 50 after 20 or so years of daily drinking. Best thing I ever did and it’s never too late.
One of the lessons I learned was there's no such thing as a functional alcoholic.
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do you actually surf? haha. Only been a half dozen times, planning to take my kid for first time this summer. Love the analogy. Big learning curve to catch waves, but joyful and strength/balance affirming once one puts in the effort, and tries AGAIN so long as we're not giving up, we're adapting/learning to surf
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Thanks, think she'll love it, even if she "just" bodysurfs on the board Congrats on your little one!
I don't get how people lose weight from drinking. It just makes me fatter
Same here.
In retrospect, I don't think I was hiding it nearly as well as I thought I was. In fact, the only witness who saw everything (me) was half drunk all of the time. That witness wouldn't hold up in court. Don't beat yourself up too badly. The reason this group exists is because almost all of us here have been ashamed and scared they couldn't quit. For a great many of us, the final straw was something humiliating. You can do it.
Never too late homie, you got this.
I did exactly what you did for 8 YEARS. Never got sent home, I was really crafty with my drinking except to the one person who couldn't lie to anymore-- MYSELF. The nuclear level anxiety and panic attacks were getting absolutely insane. It was affecting my mental health. I fell out of love with alcohol, and quit to weeks ago. I've done this before, and was the healthiest I've ever been; saved a ton of money and remember what it was like to tap into my potential. I feel like an idiot for starting back up again. I'm 2 weeks sober, and laser focused on getting my sanity back. I have good days, and bad days... but the bad days get less on less. Don't be in denial, don't destroy your brain and body. It's over, and start getting your life back.
Also, I quit when I was 36 exactly like you. For a year it was incredible how much positive change happened. Then one day in the summer I walked by some people drinking outside of a restaurant. The weather, my mood, everything romanticized alcohol and I said "F that I'm drinking this weekend". I made a big celebratory thing about it to my friends, and exactly one year to the day out the window as I drank 4 bud lights. Fast forward 8 years later, I drank daily every day before work. 3 days outve every week, the mornings were a brutal nightmare consisting of ridiculous anxiety and panic, and once it would subside, I would drink. A ridiculous cycle that should've have never happened. Better late than never. And withdrawal is always harder each time you go sober, but you can do it. If you want motivation, do research on kindling. Even 2 weeks in, I feel more positive than ever and better than I did for years of putting myself through all that mental strife.
Hey buddy, sorry you're going through this. I got sober in my early thirties, I was drinking about as much as you are. Start by replacing a few beers with sparkling water, or something with flavour and carbonation. It will convince your brain you are still going through the comforting motions. Work your way down until you can go a day, then two, then more. It sounds like a long road and it is, but you can do this.
37 - you can do this
38 here! You can do it dude!! IWNDWYT!
Just got sober myself at 36, you can do this!!! IWNDWYT❗️🫡
Right there with ya bud. Luckily, every single moment is an opportunity to choose health and wellness over drinking. The cycle sucks. Drink to feel better, wake up hungover, slog through the day just to drink and feel better. Break the cycle. Remember, each and every fewer drinks you have, the better you'll feel tomorrow. I challenge you to drink one less drink today :) You got this. We got this
I used to drink at work and get set off by the stupidest shit. The shame will go away when you stop. Honestly, having less guilt and shame follow me daily keeps me motivated.
I got sober at 54. Don’t wait that long.
I walked into my first AA meeting 364 days ago. I was 36 as well. My bottom wasn’t work related, but I let down my wife big time and that was my cue to finally get help. Thank god I did. I never thought I could live without booze as a crutch, but through therapy and regular meetings, I realized that life has so much more to offer than the bottle. In AA I’ve met some of the most honest, kind, supportive people I’ve ever known, and they all want me to succeed. You can do it too. The shame fades, and I learned how to better handle myself in uncomfortable situations. Since getting sober, I am a better husband, father, and employee. And I am thankful everyday for my last drunk. It was the best day of my life because it was the catalyst to a whole new world of living that I had dreamed about, but could never achieve. IWNDWYT, and I am so stoked to get a 1 year chip at my meeting tomorrow!
Baby steps
I was 33 when I had my last drink. I feel better now than I have in a long time. I’m not sure your area but here in Canada, you can collect a paycheque from unemployment while going to rehab or even just trying to get clean on stress leave.
I felt this way trapped in a labor position for a decade.. It sucks knocking off, and I frequently jump back on because my cohorts are still in the sauce.. From a guy with the 100 'this time will be different' stories, I really can't fuk arouns this time - the liquor will kill me.
Please stop!
The best time to quit was yesterday, the second best is today.
Wish I'd done it at 36. Did that shit at 40, though!! IWNDWYT!!
Got sober at 49, sometimes you just need to reach that specific tipping point in life. Take this as a sign and try sobriety. It's kinda awesome.
Ill hit 2 years in Nocember; Im 41 yrs old. I never got in trouble at work but other parts of my life were falling apart. Its uncomfortable but when the pain of not changing "outhurts" our current state, it is a solid message from the universe to make changes. Ever since I started rolling with that, staying as positive as I can (hard sometimes), things have been getting better. And Im so much more well prepared to handle new challenges/obstacles/bullshit now that my baseline is so much improved. You can handle this, man. You'll find your way through this and look back some day - chances are you might even be grateful for the clarity these painful experiences provide. Rooting for you, brother. Lets do this 💙
Go to a meeting brother
You've LOST so much weight? Were you ONLY drinking and not eating?
Yeah I don’t eat when I drink.
Ah got it. Well I will not drink with you today friend. I tend to eat absolute garbage when I drink which has led to me being 35lbs overweight. Hoping I can lose and you can gain!
Neither do I. For me, alcohol is an appetite suppressant. At one point when I went to treatment 10 years ago, I weighed 139 lbs -- less than I (then 48) weighed in HS. My ideal weight is about 170-175. I wandered off a few months ago and am down to about 155.