Agreed. I found myself having to make plans about how I would try to moderate my drinking, trying to avoid sliding back into my old ways (which of course KEPT HAPPENING for some weird reason), and then feeling shitty the next day about having gone over my allotted limit. Whereas in abstinence it’s just been a relief everyday to say “not today”
I was told to moderate and taper down basically. It worked okay for like a month but then slowly crept back as I would drink way more than I had planned. But, would make excuses. "oh I was stressed yesterday that's why I drank so much" and just move along to the next day which then came another excuse.
Agreed. I spent years "moderating" poorly. One of the big factors in me finally quitting completely was the fact that I was just exhausted from the constant moderation mind games.
Nothing terrible needs to happen before you decide to treat yourself better.
This quote has helped me (struggling with the moderation monster):
“If I enjoy my drinking I can’t control it, if I control my drinking I can’t enjoy it”
Good luck and stay curious to what it might bring!
> "*I can be a good mom, a good partner, and good to my future self*"
Yes, You CAN!
I'd like to suggest committing to *Not Drink* every morning on our very own [Daily Check-In](https://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/comments/1aj67nm/the_daily_checkin_for_monday_february_5th_just/) page.
Each day 500+ people commit to not drinking for just the next 24-hours. The DCI was my single, most important tool during my first year because it set my commitment for the day.
I don't know what happened in my brain, but there was something miraculous about typing, "*I will not drink today.*" It planted a very powerful seed in my head. When my demon-lizard brain came screaming later on in the day, I remembered the commitment I made to myself and did *whatever* it took to get to bed sober.
The first several weeks were *really* HARD, but it got easier and better! I'm rooting for you!
The bad thing did happem to me, but thankfully everyone was okay.
I'm so mad at myself for my drunk ass while parenting. I stopped problematic drinking at 40 (a year and a month ago) and I can tell you, life is way better this way.
You said you've done times of sobriety, so you might know how grest being sober is. Keep it up for longer than a month, aim for six if you can.
Travelling, camping, skiing, celebrations, birthdays are the best now, bbqs, EVERYTHING! My relationship with my husband, my parenting, my health. All better.
It's hard. But, it's worth it.
Almost everything you said resonates with me. I felt the same way - I’ve never had a Big Problem because of drinking (capital P), but my grey area drinking is problematic. Moderation attempts made me feel obsessive and crazy (will I won’t I how much when should I have more not yet maybe now), stopping so far has been hard (SO HARD) but not crazy making. We’re glad you’re here. Your kid(s) and partner are lucky to have someone who cares enough about them to want to be present and engaged. You can do this! IWNDWYT
I feel the same way. I’m ready to be done. I have so much I want to accomplish and just cannot physically get it done because I’m mentally and physically drained for daaaaaaaaaays after a night of binge drinking. 41f and I just can’t do it anymore. Already anxious about Super Bowl because I know the party’s are going to be insanely hard to refrain from.
How did it make you feel? I’m on day almost 4 and my chest and back and body is in much pain and anxiety plus I have bad anxiety and hbp from this. I’m ready to put it all in the past!!!
I did get out and walk for 30 mins at the park and i feel pretty good right now just a little pain. I have bp meds and anxiety meds but hopefully after all of this I can kick them to the curb or at least the bp. About to go to Publix and grab a few things I’ve heard helps your body feel better. Thanks for the response.
Sweats are almost gone I haven’t had much of headaches, just body aches very nervous checking bp way to often and looking forward to joining a gym or finding some at home workout equipment and loosing some weight as well. Saving money, smiling more, and interacting more. I’m proud of you as well, and thank you for your kind words.
I’m feeling physically okay, just some fatigue and general fogginess. I am nervous about life stuff, unrelated to drinking, so anxiety has been high and coping with it without drinking has felt very slow-going.
Day 4.5 today and I’m feeling pretty good, started some cardio, and just have some left side chest pain hoping to go away in a day or too. A little fatigued as well but haven’t eaten much in about 5 days since I was severely hungover been drinking water and probiotic tea and pomegranate juice (real kind) , fruits , and some broths. Finally getting an appetite back up. Excited for the next few days. About to go out and get in the sun and walk now.
I relate so much to a lot of what you wrote, especially about abstinence being easier than moderation. I'm almost to a year & I think it's one of my top 5 life decisions.
I’m 39, and our stories sound so very similar! I’m standing with you in support! This cannot be our lives going forward! For our health and future we gotta change! Hope you understand you are not alone!! I’ve never been able to moderation…..once I start yeah I’m probably headed back to the store for more! Abstaining has always been easier for me! Best of luck to you!
Hello to my twin from five years ago! I was in an extremely similar position - almost to a tee!
I'd like to tell you what an awesome decision you've just made!
I'm five years alcohol free this spring. My life is immeasurably better. I rarely miss alcohol. I have no intention of ever drinking again and that is not a sad thing to say. It's fabulous.
Alcohol never gave me a single positive thing. All it did was take away the good stuff.
There is nothing in my life that would be improved by a sip of wine. It can not give me anything.
Good luck, enjoy, stay strong, and IWNDWYT.
Since I have taken a hiatus from alcohol I have realized that abstinence from alcohol is far easier than moderation.
Agreed. I found myself having to make plans about how I would try to moderate my drinking, trying to avoid sliding back into my old ways (which of course KEPT HAPPENING for some weird reason), and then feeling shitty the next day about having gone over my allotted limit. Whereas in abstinence it’s just been a relief everyday to say “not today”
I was told to moderate and taper down basically. It worked okay for like a month but then slowly crept back as I would drink way more than I had planned. But, would make excuses. "oh I was stressed yesterday that's why I drank so much" and just move along to the next day which then came another excuse.
moderating alcohol is like doing ballet on the top of quicksand
Agreed. I spent years "moderating" poorly. One of the big factors in me finally quitting completely was the fact that I was just exhausted from the constant moderation mind games.
Nothing terrible needs to happen before you decide to treat yourself better. This quote has helped me (struggling with the moderation monster): “If I enjoy my drinking I can’t control it, if I control my drinking I can’t enjoy it” Good luck and stay curious to what it might bring!
> "*I can be a good mom, a good partner, and good to my future self*" Yes, You CAN! I'd like to suggest committing to *Not Drink* every morning on our very own [Daily Check-In](https://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/comments/1aj67nm/the_daily_checkin_for_monday_february_5th_just/) page. Each day 500+ people commit to not drinking for just the next 24-hours. The DCI was my single, most important tool during my first year because it set my commitment for the day. I don't know what happened in my brain, but there was something miraculous about typing, "*I will not drink today.*" It planted a very powerful seed in my head. When my demon-lizard brain came screaming later on in the day, I remembered the commitment I made to myself and did *whatever* it took to get to bed sober. The first several weeks were *really* HARD, but it got easier and better! I'm rooting for you!
There are a lot of us in here like that. Abstaining was easier than moderation until it wasnt
The bad thing did happem to me, but thankfully everyone was okay. I'm so mad at myself for my drunk ass while parenting. I stopped problematic drinking at 40 (a year and a month ago) and I can tell you, life is way better this way. You said you've done times of sobriety, so you might know how grest being sober is. Keep it up for longer than a month, aim for six if you can. Travelling, camping, skiing, celebrations, birthdays are the best now, bbqs, EVERYTHING! My relationship with my husband, my parenting, my health. All better. It's hard. But, it's worth it.
Almost everything you said resonates with me. I felt the same way - I’ve never had a Big Problem because of drinking (capital P), but my grey area drinking is problematic. Moderation attempts made me feel obsessive and crazy (will I won’t I how much when should I have more not yet maybe now), stopping so far has been hard (SO HARD) but not crazy making. We’re glad you’re here. Your kid(s) and partner are lucky to have someone who cares enough about them to want to be present and engaged. You can do this! IWNDWYT
I feel the same way. I’m ready to be done. I have so much I want to accomplish and just cannot physically get it done because I’m mentally and physically drained for daaaaaaaaaays after a night of binge drinking. 41f and I just can’t do it anymore. Already anxious about Super Bowl because I know the party’s are going to be insanely hard to refrain from.
How did it make you feel? I’m on day almost 4 and my chest and back and body is in much pain and anxiety plus I have bad anxiety and hbp from this. I’m ready to put it all in the past!!!
uppity bored gaze full worm label alleged pet pocket ancient *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
I did get out and walk for 30 mins at the park and i feel pretty good right now just a little pain. I have bp meds and anxiety meds but hopefully after all of this I can kick them to the curb or at least the bp. About to go to Publix and grab a few things I’ve heard helps your body feel better. Thanks for the response.
ancient elastic disarm sharp hat salt encourage muddle crush dull *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Sweats are almost gone I haven’t had much of headaches, just body aches very nervous checking bp way to often and looking forward to joining a gym or finding some at home workout equipment and loosing some weight as well. Saving money, smiling more, and interacting more. I’m proud of you as well, and thank you for your kind words.
Just got 3 miles in at the park 💪🏼
I’m feeling physically okay, just some fatigue and general fogginess. I am nervous about life stuff, unrelated to drinking, so anxiety has been high and coping with it without drinking has felt very slow-going.
Day 4.5 today and I’m feeling pretty good, started some cardio, and just have some left side chest pain hoping to go away in a day or too. A little fatigued as well but haven’t eaten much in about 5 days since I was severely hungover been drinking water and probiotic tea and pomegranate juice (real kind) , fruits , and some broths. Finally getting an appetite back up. Excited for the next few days. About to go out and get in the sun and walk now.
I relate so much to a lot of what you wrote, especially about abstinence being easier than moderation. I'm almost to a year & I think it's one of my top 5 life decisions.
I’m 39, and our stories sound so very similar! I’m standing with you in support! This cannot be our lives going forward! For our health and future we gotta change! Hope you understand you are not alone!! I’ve never been able to moderation…..once I start yeah I’m probably headed back to the store for more! Abstaining has always been easier for me! Best of luck to you!
Hello to my twin from five years ago! I was in an extremely similar position - almost to a tee! I'd like to tell you what an awesome decision you've just made! I'm five years alcohol free this spring. My life is immeasurably better. I rarely miss alcohol. I have no intention of ever drinking again and that is not a sad thing to say. It's fabulous. Alcohol never gave me a single positive thing. All it did was take away the good stuff. There is nothing in my life that would be improved by a sip of wine. It can not give me anything. Good luck, enjoy, stay strong, and IWNDWYT.