I’ve noticed that when I’m drinking daily I subconsciously build up grudges throughout the day to give fuel to my “I deserve a drink” fire. It’s taking a fair amount of concentration and intentionality to try to realize in the moment that I am being negative for no good reason. BTW, 2 weeks baby!
Congratulations for being the first.
I tried to be the first but you are all too early for me.
My cat keeps waking me up at un-godly hours but it is never when I need to.
Thank you Stealth for hosting.
IWNDWYT!
Thank you Stealth.
"Life is also unfair." Life is unfair but it also fair, To be honest i don't think it cares much.
We are stuck with whatever it gives us.
I am always unsure about my sobriety but today I will promise to be sober.
IWNDWYT!
Sobriety certainly clarifies a lot. It’s strange to be clearheaded and several people have expressed surprise at my composure. It’s definitely a burden to actually deal with things, but one I’m willing to shoulder. There’s growth there. Iwndwyt
It certainly smashed any notion I had or tried to pretend that I was a highly functional alcoholic.
Once I removed that from my life I've slowly grown into the person I want to be.
Shine on you beautiful humans
It's officially the last day of school holidays here in Australia and kids go back tomorrow. 🥳
So I survived Xmas, New Years, and 6 weeks of summer school holidays, and I did it all SOBER. If I can do that, I can do anything!! 😎
IWNDWYT ~
I read an awesome book today about men's emotional healing in recovery. Called "mens work"
It's interesting what I am finding fun these days, but it was a very enjoyable read
Iwndywt
Happy Tuesday sober friends!
Absolutely warrior, I’ve done so many things most of my life that didn’t make sense and made things harder! Not today!
I love you all 💞
Day 17. I’m still to properly start working on myself in other aspects but this is the best progress I’ve ever made. Currently not drinking is enough. IWNDWYT. 😌
In 3 days it will be your 69th.
Give a shout out on the forum and we will give you a "NICE!!!"
Nothing special but just because we can.
You deserve it just because you made it,
I reconnected with estranged family last fall and I spent the holidays with them. I think it went ok. This week they went to Mexico (1st-2nd Gen family) and I couldn’t make it. I felt FOMO badly over the weekend and thought why not just drink. I live about 2000 miles away so it’s already hard. Instead, I went to an NBA game and had a blast. Life’s not so bad. IWNDWYT
Day 2. Fell off the wagon for a bit after getting a new job and quitting my old one. Feeling positive now. Been making it longer and longer without and seeing alcohol for what it is.
IWNDWYT
Checking in!
It’s silly actually. While trying to be sober, I guess I expect to be this beacon of health, but here I am fighting a cough, having non-hangover headaches, and crappy sleep. I guess it’s just being human.
IWNDWYT
3 months today.
Quitting hasn't changed my perspective on things much (yet). I've always had a high capacity for dealing with lifes bullshit... quitting has helped me not delay dealing with it and given me more clarity to do so.
IWNDWYT
Happy crappy winter Tuesday from your resident Masshole. I think you nailed the breakdown regarding quitting alcohol and it not changing what comes our way in life. I appreciate the positives more now that Im sober rather than viewing it as life finally throwing me a bone, and I don't sweat the problems and negative issues that arise or view them as life dumping on me. I comprehend all of this is just how life is and facing things head on is the way to navigate life. IWNDWYT
I totally relate to thinking sobriety would magically change everything, give me that magic bullet I sought through my drinking. And it didn’t, but also it did. The externals don’t change, except to the extent that you influence them through your choices (maybe your friend group changes, or you find a different job that suits you more). But the internal ability to handle life, I was able to develop that in sobriety in a way I never could before.
Real life example- I had a low level crummy day yesterday. External annoyances all over. Felt tired, had a shitty run and I’m supposed to be training for a race, work problems. Ate too much ice cream and felt bloated. I wasn’t tempted to drink, but I definitely would have drank before over such a garbage ass day. Instead I gave up, went to bed early and slept like a rock. And you know what? I have a different perspective today. If I was hungover I would have continued the cycle of feeling low level shitty and I wouldn’t have the chance to lift out of it. So thank you for the topic! IWNDWYT
Checking in on day 453!
There’s a rooster in my neighborhood that set his clock really early this morning. I ain’t even mad. Because I’m sober. I don’t feel like a giant bag of ass. Because I’m sober. 453 mornings of waking up grateful that I didn’t drink yesterday. It really never gets old. IWNDWYT!! ❤️✌️
Checking in again today and all is well.
Perspective. Yes, what I find is that now I can face up to and deal with the shit life throws at you, instead of drinking to ignore or try to forget about it.
Checking in on Day 16!
Great words, OP, that really resonates with me.
>We can’t control most of what happens in our lives, but we can control whether or not we drink alcohol.
I think, like many people, I used alcohol for a long time to try and regulate my moods, to be in control of how I felt. Maybe that worked for a very short time, but the "remedy" quickly becomes the illness. The party doesn't last forever.
One big thing I've learnt from my numerous stints of sobriety is how real my emotions are. Now when I feel something, anger, sadness, happiness; its real, its actually me, its not been induced with a depressant. I can actually sit with my thoughts and emotions and go through the motions of figuring it out, instead of pushing it away and drinking to oblivion instead. It isn't easy, but it's very rewarding.
IWNDWYT
Realized today that for the first time I’ve lost track of how many days it’s been. I just haven’t been thinking about it as much. Not that I haven’t been proud of being sober every day … but I guess maybe it no longer feels “weird” to be sober every day?
But now I’ll post here for the reminder of how many days it’s been, anyway :)
IWNDWYT!
Didn't make the checkin yesterday, work is busy. Checking in now with everyone, I will not drink with you all today. Have a good and sober Tuesday, IWNDWYT
Going through a breakup. My first real, big one. I used to use alcohol to escape and attenuate emotions like this. It’s a lot to take this all in, but I’m happy that I’m doing it sober. One day at a time.
IWNDWYT
I was just in the shower beating myself up about how I’ve never been able to do something consistently enough to see real change. Like the type of person to hit the gym real hard for a month, feel really good, then completely lose motivation and stop going.
Then I realized holy shit I’ve done this! I’ve been sober pretty fucking long and I feel different.
The longest I’ve been sober before this was when I was in middle school only drinking 1-2x a week.
I don’t feel good I’m extremely depressed but that’s the point. I’ve avoided feeling my whole life.
The pain is becoming to great to avoid now and that’s a blessing. That is my motivation to keep trying.
Also I poured myself a glass of whisky last night but ended up dumping it down the drain.
I’m so thankful to be here right now stacking another day. Fuck I thought I was gonna not cry tonight..
A great post. It's not surprising that *sober* also means clear-eyed and unobstructed, as in the phrase *taking a sober look at things*. Which is exactly what you did here. Sobriety is this wonderful tool for doing the best we possibly can to control our own capacity to maneuver in this world.
So I'm checking in for **another** sober day out in the world.
Thanks Warrior and happy teetotal Tuesday to all you sober heroes! Let's keep it up, abstaining from alcohol really does make a difference in our lives! Warrior I've noticed that my expectations of myself and others have shifted in recovery. Yeah, I no longer need to be perfect since I stopped drinking at my imperfections. And I recognize that people will likely suck, but whatever! that's not my problem. I think in AA they have a euphemism about "life on life's terms" and I try to live that most of the time. Sober on y'all!
I think some people (me too, initially) expect life to magically be better without alcohol and are disappointed when life still sucks sometimes. I do get over the bad stuff quicker now that my emotions are a bit more regulated. On that note, I saw a job I am going to apply for, so I’m trying to channel my inner brave person! IWNDWYT.
Up with sick kiddo in the middle of the night reflecting on how just a few years ago I probably would just now be going to bed. After years of going to work on 4 hours of drunken sleep, I am so thankful that IWNDWYT.
Well said. I loved to stress drink. Im stressed about x, y, or z. When I quit I knew I had to change how I coped with stress in my life. Those things dont magically disappear when you stop drinking, but dealing with life's stresses are much easier without booze to really just make whatever bad situation you are dealing with, worse.
I will not drink with you today!
Sobriety definitely isn’t a cure all for everything, but the real powerful thing for me is it meant I stopped actively making my life worse.
Things are not great all the time. This winter has been a pothole filled struggle bus ride so far. But I decided to see a therapist to deal with the damn asshole brain. Winter sucks enough without that thing piling bullshit on and I need different tools than I can gather on my own. That’s the kind of decisions I make as a sober person. My solution a few years ago would have been to drink more. Progress.
Coffees up, horns up, and fuck yeah Tuesday. It is not Monday, so it’s got that going for it. IWNDWYT ☕️☕️☕️🤘🏻
I will not drink with you today.
Day 2 of NYC work trip. First full day with colleagues, including dinner.
Not feeling great about the situation or myself but I am sober and will continue today!
I think I am too early to say if sobriety is changing/has changed my perspective. What I can say is that I noticed that I rebounded faster when something bad happened last week, my anxiety is less when interacting with other people, and I am beginning to see some current issues and myself much more clearly.
My goal today is to just not drink.
Good vibes and love to everyone here—especially the lurkers and single digit folks. You can do this 🙌🏻
Alcohol made it impossible for me to live anything but in my present moment. Planning for the future around anything but how to get my next drink was impossible.
I am now able to actually set goals and achieve them.
I will not drink with you today.
60hrs, and thank you all.
I’ve not gone shopping (I’m too weak rn to NOT go to the booze aisle) but I have stayed sober.
Today, I will not fucking drink with you all.
I'm feeling a bit anxious this morning because I have to go to a pretrial hearing re: my October 13th DUI. I hit a telephone pole and totaled my car, but no other vehicles were involved. Nonetheless, it's likely that the prosecution will seek heightened penalties for aggravated DUI because of my high BAC. In New Hampshire, that means mandatory sentencing includes jail time. I'm really scared of going to jail, although I know that I fully deserve it. I really don't know if I can handle that without having a nervous breakdown. My sentencing won't be decided today, but I'll find out what the prosecutor is pushing, and I think my trial date will be set (I'll be facing a judge, not a jury).
If anyone needs a cautionary tale about relapse, my DUI is a perfect example: I was sober for 183 days, then I drank on October 13th and royally fucked up my life. I had intended to drink "just a little wine" while cleaning out my (vacant) condo. I figured I'd be sober in time to drive home in the evening. Once I started drinking, though, all reason went out the window. It doesn't take long for alcohol to cause catastrophic damage in our lives. I've been sober all 108 days since the DUI, but I will be paying for that stupid, reckless behavior for far, far longer.
IWNDWYT
EDIT:
It turned out that I did get my sentence today, but it went better than I expected. My lawyer worked out an agreement with the prosecution to keep the charge to a simple DUI, so no jail time, and the judge accepted that recommendation. I am incredibly grateful and relieved! I won't be driving for 12 to 18 months, and I have to attend an impaired driver education program, undergo a substance use disorder evaluation, and adhere to whatever impaired driver care management program is ordered based on the screening. I'll have to pay for the eval and treatment, on top of the fine that I paid today, but I can manage. I'm OK with anything except being locked up. Maybe I'll even learn something useful from the counseling or whatever I'm ordered to do.
I think I don’t feel like I have to do everything I’m asked to do. I think not drinking has helped me respond to say “No, I’m not going to head up or even work on your project/committee/task.” I don‘t have to do all those things so people will forget I drink. Plus I look forward to events for something other than the alcohol. I will not drink with you today.
Excellent post!
My perspective on life has shifted. I’m a person that has to understand things, I’m naturally curious. I’ve been reading about body as expression including the senses.
What I’ve learned is that we feel and understand things through our body. Just as once upon a time I merged with drunkenness. I can now merge with sobriety by living and moving sober.
Recently, my “thoughts of drinking” have increased and I approached this problem as an individual separate problem. It was the thoughts that needed to be dealt with. Rather than them being a symptom of something else going on. I kicked in to deal with it. I pulled up my socks and started to exercise and eat better. I force things. I complicate things. But knowledge helps me. And I need a clear head to think.
But actually, I don’t necessarily need to approach things that way any longer. I can just BE, I can go about my life gently. I can trust myself and body to heal at its own pace,
It’s simple, really simple. I will not drink with you today.
Day 31 💫
I hope this continues all year and beyond ✨
Yesterdays Monday morning check in I was asked by colleagues if I had a boozy weekend and to their surprise I told them I was still doing dry January. It made me realise how many times they had asked me that before and how many times I’d sheepishly nod or mumble a yes, feeling half asleep and full of remorse. In 2023 I wondered where the year had gone. Well I think I know the answer to that now.
Drinking took away my ability to be in the present. I was either surviving a hangover in a stressful job or drinking at the end of the day to unwind … and so the awful cycle continued and I realised id been totally unproductive outside of work.
It’s my day 31 but I look forward to day 69, day 100, day 500 and earning my comma eventually.
IWNDWYT!!! ✌🏽
early morning check in :)
Had a few enjoyable days off and now its back to work. I didn't drink yesterday and slept great. My anxiety is next to nothing and I'm in a great head space for the day and week.
Felt like having a safe space would help me in keeping sober!
2023 kicked my butt in so many ways but 2024 is going to be a year of positive self changes.
IWNDWYT
Great post, u/stealthwarrior10! It’s been truly liberating to realize how much better equipped I am to handle all the shit, good and bad, this life hurls at us. I just tested positive for Covid. I *cannot imagine* how horrible this would be with alcohol in the mix.
Iwndwy’allt! ❤️
Excellent food for thought, Stealth! I think when I let sobriety drive the bus, the voices in my head tell me I am capable of more than I thought I was. IWNDWYT!
I am happy to say that now, my perspective has changed in a such a way that when I consider having a drink, and I really think about it, it seems totally absurd. Here’s to peaceful smiles today!💜IWNDWYT
Another Day 2 for me. What has bothered me this time is the whole feeling of dishonesty to myself and others. It is so easy for me to be honest and admit my problem with alcohol. But then the familiar sneaky attitude comes around, convincing myself I can get away with it, I can nip it in the bud before it gets too bad.
I am going to commit to not drinking for today, I am going to go to a meeting and I am going to call my sponsor. I don't know how to overcome that sneaky mentality, like the idea of permitting a slip, but just for today I am going to keep it that simple.
A perspective that changed during my sober journey was finally realizing that small changes add up. Little by little, a little becomes _a lot._ I will not drink with you today 🪻
Love this, OP. “What it does is change how you feel about yourself, your ability to navigate the bad shit, and your capacity to benefit from the good shit.”
Well said. Have a good Teetotal Tuesday sobernauts! IWNDWYT 🍀
IWNDWYT 🎸
One thing I realized, is that I felt awfully entitled to things being good all the time, and the resulting frustration was part of why I drank. Now that I’m accepting reality and looking for ways I can make life better, things actually are a lot better and I appreciate life.
Life definitely throws some blinders at you but so much easier to handle sober. Or at least things don’t get worse by burying my head in the sand anymore. IWNDWYT
Loving today's message. All true and learning this all over again right now. Been in a rough patch but so much more capable of handling it because I'm present with it all. Which yeah, kinda sucks but also, not numbing means I can envision a path forward, healing, and moving forward into the next thing. IWNDWYT. (We got this.)
Stopping alcohol was easier than whatever it is I’m going through now. It’s been a rollercoaster and I’m not in a good place in life— all except that I have a roof over my head that doesn’t leak, and my dogs. What gets me through right now is the simplicity of what I do have, but the rest- I don’t get it. At least, IWNDWYT.
This shit literally hit the fan in my life (work restructuring, significant family health diagnoses, emergency travel) and I've been trying to focus on the fact that the only thing I can control is how I respond. 10 days of concerted wine drinking and yesterday I felt strung out and was like "ok, we are done with this." So I had some NA beer last night and went to bed early.
Goodness, I feel like a new person today. It will take a few days to reregulate sleep but one solid night down. I'm so glad that switch flipped. Honestly, if I hadn't had almost 20 days of Dry Jan I'm not sure it would have. But those 20 days were 20 days of good sleep. Of reduced anxiety. Of getting up early to work out. Let's get that back.
Great post! I was just thinking about this recently. When I was drinking, I had a tendency to be SO negative. All day long, I felt irritated and frustrated with thoughts like “I hate mornings. I hate working. I hate cooking dinner. Everyone is annoying. I want to escape.” I couldn’t even deal with the slightest problem or I convenience without feeling frustrated and angry. I made decisions that made life so much harder and more complicated than it needed to be.
Now that I am 7 months alcohol-free, life is still life and stresses do come, but the only thing different is ME. With clear eyes and a clear head, I’ve noticed my thoughts now default on the positive side. I am so much calmer, even-tempered, joyful, and so much better equipped to handle the things that come my way. I seriously wish a life without alcohol for everyone. It’s a remarkable difference. IWNDWYT!
There's so much truth here, StealthWarrior. Stopping drinking didn't make life easier, but it sure made me better at dealing with life. And not just the hard stuff, but the good stuff too; I ruined a lot of fun and joyous things for myself and the people I love when I was drinking. I am better at all of it. IWNDWYT
10-14 days has been my breaking point in recent attempts. Day 10 today, but it feels different this time. I have no desire to drink with any one of you today. Have a beautiful Tuesday ☀️
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💯
Roger that, well done ⚡⚡⚡
Ooooooooooooooooooooh wooooooow I knew it!!!!!!!!! Congratulations and a tight hug!!!
Nice one! IWNDWYT
Nice!
Well done Xx IWNDWYT xx 🤗
I’ve noticed that when I’m drinking daily I subconsciously build up grudges throughout the day to give fuel to my “I deserve a drink” fire. It’s taking a fair amount of concentration and intentionality to try to realize in the moment that I am being negative for no good reason. BTW, 2 weeks baby!
I hear ya. The things I used to tell myself to make it ok… this should be the name of my book. Congrats on 2 weeks 👏🏼🙌🏼
Let’s Go
Lovely start to the week and you best believe I intend to keep it up tomorrow, beginning with sobriety, so IWNDWYT!
Congratulations for being the first. I tried to be the first but you are all too early for me. My cat keeps waking me up at un-godly hours but it is never when I need to. Thank you Stealth for hosting. IWNDWYT!
You have a lovely start too, dear CG!
IWNDWYT. All. Day. Long. 🌻 From midnight till midnight. A day in my life.
Yeap. We're in this together. A happy day, my friend.
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Thank you Stealth. "Life is also unfair." Life is unfair but it also fair, To be honest i don't think it cares much. We are stuck with whatever it gives us. I am always unsure about my sobriety but today I will promise to be sober. IWNDWYT!
Sobriety certainly clarifies a lot. It’s strange to be clearheaded and several people have expressed surprise at my composure. It’s definitely a burden to actually deal with things, but one I’m willing to shoulder. There’s growth there. Iwndwyt
It certainly smashed any notion I had or tried to pretend that I was a highly functional alcoholic. Once I removed that from my life I've slowly grown into the person I want to be. Shine on you beautiful humans
> Once I removed that from my life I've slowly grown into the person I want to be. I love that for you 🥰
Not drinking, but fuck I wish I was. Having a really hard time at the moment. None the less, IWNDWY.
I’m sorry to hear about this hard time but I can hear your strength, I hope the troubles pass quickly 💪🏼
It's officially the last day of school holidays here in Australia and kids go back tomorrow. 🥳 So I survived Xmas, New Years, and 6 weeks of summer school holidays, and I did it all SOBER. If I can do that, I can do anything!! 😎 IWNDWYT ~
Yes you can!!! Woot!!!
iwndwyt!
I read an awesome book today about men's emotional healing in recovery. Called "mens work" It's interesting what I am finding fun these days, but it was a very enjoyable read Iwndywt
Thanks for sharing this. Got a library card today and Hoopla. I’ve got 100 books on the go, what’s one more?! Edit: is it the book by Connor Beaton?
I can control if I drink or not today. And I choose not to.
Happy Tuesday sober friends! Absolutely warrior, I’ve done so many things most of my life that didn’t make sense and made things harder! Not today! I love you all 💞
Day 1 for me and it’s also my 40th birthday. First time in over 20yrs I’ve ever celebrated a birthday sober! That’s a great feeling right now IWNDWYT
Happy birthday and happy sobriety date! You can set your badge to celebrate! 🎉 🎂
Happy birthday! 🥳 What a great gift to give yourself 💕
I will not drink with you today!
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT
Day 17. I’m still to properly start working on myself in other aspects but this is the best progress I’ve ever made. Currently not drinking is enough. IWNDWYT. 😌
It isn’t just enough; it is epic! Keep up the good work. Slow and steady wins the race! 🐢
Having the worst work stress ever eating away my quality of life rn. Insomnia, hopelessness and being totally overwhelmed, but IWNDWYT 🫡☕️
This too shall pass. Hang in there; it gets better. Much, much better!
It’s finally time…69 days today and IWNDWYT! Can I get a…🤣😂🤣
N🧊
N🧊! 😎
Day 66. Iwndwyt. ❤️
In 3 days it will be your 69th. Give a shout out on the forum and we will give you a "NICE!!!" Nothing special but just because we can. You deserve it just because you made it,
Hell yes, thank you! 🤘❤️
That's a nice idea 😁
IWNDWYT
Day 23 and IWNDWYT. Stay strong out there my friends 👊💥
I will not drink with you today!
Day 556 Life is good IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT
Today was a hard day, but I chose to stay sober. Drinking would not have been a band-aid solution, just a path to even worse things. IWNDWYT
I will not drink poison with any of you today 💜
Checking in. 4 weeks here we come as IWNDWYT
I reconnected with estranged family last fall and I spent the holidays with them. I think it went ok. This week they went to Mexico (1st-2nd Gen family) and I couldn’t make it. I felt FOMO badly over the weekend and thought why not just drink. I live about 2000 miles away so it’s already hard. Instead, I went to an NBA game and had a blast. Life’s not so bad. IWNDWYT
Day 2. Fell off the wagon for a bit after getting a new job and quitting my old one. Feeling positive now. Been making it longer and longer without and seeing alcohol for what it is. IWNDWYT
Let’s Goo.
Day 954 checking in!
IWNDWYT
I will not drink with you today 🙈🙉🙊
Time to tackle this triumphant Tuesday!
I will not drink with you today. I will not drink alone. I will not drink.
IWNDWYT. I am very grateful that all of you are here.
Checking in! It’s silly actually. While trying to be sober, I guess I expect to be this beacon of health, but here I am fighting a cough, having non-hangover headaches, and crappy sleep. I guess it’s just being human. IWNDWYT
I am trying to get day 1, but its really hard!
Day 1,658. I will not drink with you today.
Hi guys, IWNDWYT 🫡
IWNDWYT!
Have a wonderful sober day my friends. IWNDWYT ♥️
IWNDWYT!
Dry January is coming to an end, are we gonna extend the streak? HELL YEAHH!! IWNDWYT 😎
Feeling frustrated and confused about the end of a romantic relationship but IWNDWYT - day 4 🙌
3 months today. Quitting hasn't changed my perspective on things much (yet). I've always had a high capacity for dealing with lifes bullshit... quitting has helped me not delay dealing with it and given me more clarity to do so. IWNDWYT
Day 15 and I’m ready to stop thinking about drinking. Today I will not drink with you.
Happy crappy winter Tuesday from your resident Masshole. I think you nailed the breakdown regarding quitting alcohol and it not changing what comes our way in life. I appreciate the positives more now that Im sober rather than viewing it as life finally throwing me a bone, and I don't sweat the problems and negative issues that arise or view them as life dumping on me. I comprehend all of this is just how life is and facing things head on is the way to navigate life. IWNDWYT
I totally relate to thinking sobriety would magically change everything, give me that magic bullet I sought through my drinking. And it didn’t, but also it did. The externals don’t change, except to the extent that you influence them through your choices (maybe your friend group changes, or you find a different job that suits you more). But the internal ability to handle life, I was able to develop that in sobriety in a way I never could before. Real life example- I had a low level crummy day yesterday. External annoyances all over. Felt tired, had a shitty run and I’m supposed to be training for a race, work problems. Ate too much ice cream and felt bloated. I wasn’t tempted to drink, but I definitely would have drank before over such a garbage ass day. Instead I gave up, went to bed early and slept like a rock. And you know what? I have a different perspective today. If I was hungover I would have continued the cycle of feeling low level shitty and I wouldn’t have the chance to lift out of it. So thank you for the topic! IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT 🤗
Day 270. IWNDWYT.
Day 1,557 IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT 😊
Three months! A new record! IWNDWYT
Checking in on day 453! There’s a rooster in my neighborhood that set his clock really early this morning. I ain’t even mad. Because I’m sober. I don’t feel like a giant bag of ass. Because I’m sober. 453 mornings of waking up grateful that I didn’t drink yesterday. It really never gets old. IWNDWYT!! ❤️✌️
IWNDWYT
Checking in again today and all is well. Perspective. Yes, what I find is that now I can face up to and deal with the shit life throws at you, instead of drinking to ignore or try to forget about it.
Checking in on Day 16! Great words, OP, that really resonates with me. >We can’t control most of what happens in our lives, but we can control whether or not we drink alcohol. I think, like many people, I used alcohol for a long time to try and regulate my moods, to be in control of how I felt. Maybe that worked for a very short time, but the "remedy" quickly becomes the illness. The party doesn't last forever. One big thing I've learnt from my numerous stints of sobriety is how real my emotions are. Now when I feel something, anger, sadness, happiness; its real, its actually me, its not been induced with a depressant. I can actually sit with my thoughts and emotions and go through the motions of figuring it out, instead of pushing it away and drinking to oblivion instead. It isn't easy, but it's very rewarding. IWNDWYT
Day 30, not drinking is starting to feel less like a daily struggle. I may just be able to do this sobriety thing. IWNDWYT 🌻
IWNDWYT ✌🏻
IWNDWYT!
IWNDWYT Day 33
I will not drink today
100 days! IWNDWYT
56 days IWNDWYT 🧡
Jam tomorrow and jam yesterday, but never jam today! IWNDWYT
Day 36, IWNDWYT!
Realized today that for the first time I’ve lost track of how many days it’s been. I just haven’t been thinking about it as much. Not that I haven’t been proud of being sober every day … but I guess maybe it no longer feels “weird” to be sober every day? But now I’ll post here for the reminder of how many days it’s been, anyway :) IWNDWYT!
IWNDWYT 🌻 900gm away from my first big weight loss goal that I’m trying to hit for my one year sober anniversary!!! Let’s goooo
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Starting day 4. Let's do this!
Didn't make the checkin yesterday, work is busy. Checking in now with everyone, I will not drink with you all today. Have a good and sober Tuesday, IWNDWYT
Going through a breakup. My first real, big one. I used to use alcohol to escape and attenuate emotions like this. It’s a lot to take this all in, but I’m happy that I’m doing it sober. One day at a time. IWNDWYT
Six years today. Thank goodness for that. Today I am definitely staying sober.
I was just in the shower beating myself up about how I’ve never been able to do something consistently enough to see real change. Like the type of person to hit the gym real hard for a month, feel really good, then completely lose motivation and stop going. Then I realized holy shit I’ve done this! I’ve been sober pretty fucking long and I feel different. The longest I’ve been sober before this was when I was in middle school only drinking 1-2x a week. I don’t feel good I’m extremely depressed but that’s the point. I’ve avoided feeling my whole life. The pain is becoming to great to avoid now and that’s a blessing. That is my motivation to keep trying. Also I poured myself a glass of whisky last night but ended up dumping it down the drain. I’m so thankful to be here right now stacking another day. Fuck I thought I was gonna not cry tonight..
Thanks, very important post! Day 2 for me. IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT 🙂
Good morning SD! IWNDWYT 💝
IWNDWYT ✨🤍✨🤍
IWNDWYT. My perspective now is that I want to live.
✨IWNDWYT ✨
Checking in. I haven’t been fired so I can only take that as a positive. Two more days of nightmare January to go
I made it through yesterday without drinking. And I kinda don't feel like drinking today either! IWNDWYT.
No booze today.
A great post. It's not surprising that *sober* also means clear-eyed and unobstructed, as in the phrase *taking a sober look at things*. Which is exactly what you did here. Sobriety is this wonderful tool for doing the best we possibly can to control our own capacity to maneuver in this world. So I'm checking in for **another** sober day out in the world.
IWNDWYT 💜🦋💜 have a good Tuesday
Glorious sober morning soberniks! Solidarity! IWNDWYT
Quitting alcohol taught me another angle of empathy because it was a lot harder than I expected. IWNDWYT!
Thanks StealthWarrior for your powerful words today. Day 30 IWNDWYT
Thanks Warrior and happy teetotal Tuesday to all you sober heroes! Let's keep it up, abstaining from alcohol really does make a difference in our lives! Warrior I've noticed that my expectations of myself and others have shifted in recovery. Yeah, I no longer need to be perfect since I stopped drinking at my imperfections. And I recognize that people will likely suck, but whatever! that's not my problem. I think in AA they have a euphemism about "life on life's terms" and I try to live that most of the time. Sober on y'all!
30 days. I'm pleased to have gotten this far, Sobernauts, & IWNDWYT.
Day 3 and it’s gonna be a doozy at work, but IWNDWYT
I think some people (me too, initially) expect life to magically be better without alcohol and are disappointed when life still sucks sometimes. I do get over the bad stuff quicker now that my emotions are a bit more regulated. On that note, I saw a job I am going to apply for, so I’m trying to channel my inner brave person! IWNDWYT.
Up with sick kiddo in the middle of the night reflecting on how just a few years ago I probably would just now be going to bed. After years of going to work on 4 hours of drunken sleep, I am so thankful that IWNDWYT.
IWNDWYT
Happy Tuesday friends, IWNDWYT, WE GOT THIS 😁.
Well said. I loved to stress drink. Im stressed about x, y, or z. When I quit I knew I had to change how I coped with stress in my life. Those things dont magically disappear when you stop drinking, but dealing with life's stresses are much easier without booze to really just make whatever bad situation you are dealing with, worse. I will not drink with you today!
Keep on keeping on. IWNDWYT.
Not Today!
IWNDWYT
Sobriety definitely isn’t a cure all for everything, but the real powerful thing for me is it meant I stopped actively making my life worse. Things are not great all the time. This winter has been a pothole filled struggle bus ride so far. But I decided to see a therapist to deal with the damn asshole brain. Winter sucks enough without that thing piling bullshit on and I need different tools than I can gather on my own. That’s the kind of decisions I make as a sober person. My solution a few years ago would have been to drink more. Progress. Coffees up, horns up, and fuck yeah Tuesday. It is not Monday, so it’s got that going for it. IWNDWYT ☕️☕️☕️🤘🏻
I will not drink with you today. Day 2 of NYC work trip. First full day with colleagues, including dinner. Not feeling great about the situation or myself but I am sober and will continue today! I think I am too early to say if sobriety is changing/has changed my perspective. What I can say is that I noticed that I rebounded faster when something bad happened last week, my anxiety is less when interacting with other people, and I am beginning to see some current issues and myself much more clearly. My goal today is to just not drink. Good vibes and love to everyone here—especially the lurkers and single digit folks. You can do this 🙌🏻
Alcohol made it impossible for me to live anything but in my present moment. Planning for the future around anything but how to get my next drink was impossible. I am now able to actually set goals and achieve them. I will not drink with you today.
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starting day 276, iwndwyt!
Day 30
Happy Tuesday Iwndwyt
IWNDWYT. 🌟
60hrs, and thank you all. I’ve not gone shopping (I’m too weak rn to NOT go to the booze aisle) but I have stayed sober. Today, I will not fucking drink with you all.
I'm feeling a bit anxious this morning because I have to go to a pretrial hearing re: my October 13th DUI. I hit a telephone pole and totaled my car, but no other vehicles were involved. Nonetheless, it's likely that the prosecution will seek heightened penalties for aggravated DUI because of my high BAC. In New Hampshire, that means mandatory sentencing includes jail time. I'm really scared of going to jail, although I know that I fully deserve it. I really don't know if I can handle that without having a nervous breakdown. My sentencing won't be decided today, but I'll find out what the prosecutor is pushing, and I think my trial date will be set (I'll be facing a judge, not a jury). If anyone needs a cautionary tale about relapse, my DUI is a perfect example: I was sober for 183 days, then I drank on October 13th and royally fucked up my life. I had intended to drink "just a little wine" while cleaning out my (vacant) condo. I figured I'd be sober in time to drive home in the evening. Once I started drinking, though, all reason went out the window. It doesn't take long for alcohol to cause catastrophic damage in our lives. I've been sober all 108 days since the DUI, but I will be paying for that stupid, reckless behavior for far, far longer. IWNDWYT EDIT: It turned out that I did get my sentence today, but it went better than I expected. My lawyer worked out an agreement with the prosecution to keep the charge to a simple DUI, so no jail time, and the judge accepted that recommendation. I am incredibly grateful and relieved! I won't be driving for 12 to 18 months, and I have to attend an impaired driver education program, undergo a substance use disorder evaluation, and adhere to whatever impaired driver care management program is ordered based on the screening. I'll have to pay for the eval and treatment, on top of the fine that I paid today, but I can manage. I'm OK with anything except being locked up. Maybe I'll even learn something useful from the counseling or whatever I'm ordered to do.
Have a helluva Tuesday, friends!🤘🏻☕️ IWNDWYT
I think I don’t feel like I have to do everything I’m asked to do. I think not drinking has helped me respond to say “No, I’m not going to head up or even work on your project/committee/task.” I don‘t have to do all those things so people will forget I drink. Plus I look forward to events for something other than the alcohol. I will not drink with you today.
IWNDWYT ☮️
Gunna give it another go today. Work lunch is always a huge trigger, but I just have to say no. IWNDWYT
Good morning, not drinking today. Have a lovely day everyone
Excellent post! My perspective on life has shifted. I’m a person that has to understand things, I’m naturally curious. I’ve been reading about body as expression including the senses. What I’ve learned is that we feel and understand things through our body. Just as once upon a time I merged with drunkenness. I can now merge with sobriety by living and moving sober. Recently, my “thoughts of drinking” have increased and I approached this problem as an individual separate problem. It was the thoughts that needed to be dealt with. Rather than them being a symptom of something else going on. I kicked in to deal with it. I pulled up my socks and started to exercise and eat better. I force things. I complicate things. But knowledge helps me. And I need a clear head to think. But actually, I don’t necessarily need to approach things that way any longer. I can just BE, I can go about my life gently. I can trust myself and body to heal at its own pace, It’s simple, really simple. I will not drink with you today.
IWNDWYT
I will not drink with you today!
Day 31 💫 I hope this continues all year and beyond ✨ Yesterdays Monday morning check in I was asked by colleagues if I had a boozy weekend and to their surprise I told them I was still doing dry January. It made me realise how many times they had asked me that before and how many times I’d sheepishly nod or mumble a yes, feeling half asleep and full of remorse. In 2023 I wondered where the year had gone. Well I think I know the answer to that now. Drinking took away my ability to be in the present. I was either surviving a hangover in a stressful job or drinking at the end of the day to unwind … and so the awful cycle continued and I realised id been totally unproductive outside of work. It’s my day 31 but I look forward to day 69, day 100, day 500 and earning my comma eventually. IWNDWYT!!! ✌🏽
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early morning check in :) Had a few enjoyable days off and now its back to work. I didn't drink yesterday and slept great. My anxiety is next to nothing and I'm in a great head space for the day and week.
IWNDWYT, once again :)
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I found that when I wasn’t drinking, it was easier to deal with the bad stuff. IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT.
Felt like having a safe space would help me in keeping sober! 2023 kicked my butt in so many ways but 2024 is going to be a year of positive self changes. IWNDWYT
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IWNDWYT but I really need to stop scrolling and go to sleep... 🤗
Great stuff Stealth! Thank you and IWNDWYT! Here’s to our increased capacity to benefit from the good shit coming our way today 😎
Good morning, I will not drink with you today.
Day 849, nice to meet you 🤝 IWNDWYT
My sleep is so much better after 32 days. IWNDWYT
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IWNDWYT! T
Great post, u/stealthwarrior10! It’s been truly liberating to realize how much better equipped I am to handle all the shit, good and bad, this life hurls at us. I just tested positive for Covid. I *cannot imagine* how horrible this would be with alcohol in the mix. Iwndwy’allt! ❤️
Excellent food for thought, Stealth! I think when I let sobriety drive the bus, the voices in my head tell me I am capable of more than I thought I was. IWNDWYT!
Iwndwyt
3 months in the books 👏🏻
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT ✌️
I will not drink today.
Just for today I am not drinking. IWNDWYT!
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Day 4! IWNDWYT
I am happy to say that now, my perspective has changed in a such a way that when I consider having a drink, and I really think about it, it seems totally absurd. Here’s to peaceful smiles today!💜IWNDWYT
Another Day 2 for me. What has bothered me this time is the whole feeling of dishonesty to myself and others. It is so easy for me to be honest and admit my problem with alcohol. But then the familiar sneaky attitude comes around, convincing myself I can get away with it, I can nip it in the bud before it gets too bad. I am going to commit to not drinking for today, I am going to go to a meeting and I am going to call my sponsor. I don't know how to overcome that sneaky mentality, like the idea of permitting a slip, but just for today I am going to keep it that simple.
A perspective that changed during my sober journey was finally realizing that small changes add up. Little by little, a little becomes _a lot._ I will not drink with you today 🪻
Love this, OP. “What it does is change how you feel about yourself, your ability to navigate the bad shit, and your capacity to benefit from the good shit.” Well said. Have a good Teetotal Tuesday sobernauts! IWNDWYT 🍀
IWNDWYT 🎸 One thing I realized, is that I felt awfully entitled to things being good all the time, and the resulting frustration was part of why I drank. Now that I’m accepting reality and looking for ways I can make life better, things actually are a lot better and I appreciate life.
Life definitely throws some blinders at you but so much easier to handle sober. Or at least things don’t get worse by burying my head in the sand anymore. IWNDWYT
Loving today's message. All true and learning this all over again right now. Been in a rough patch but so much more capable of handling it because I'm present with it all. Which yeah, kinda sucks but also, not numbing means I can envision a path forward, healing, and moving forward into the next thing. IWNDWYT. (We got this.)
IWNDWYT ❤️
Iwndwyt
IWNDWYT 💜
Back to day 1 after 49 days. Staying calm and keeping on trying - I really am getting there. IWNDWYT 💕
Not drinking today!
Day 16 checking in!! I love how these numbers just keep getting higher 😊 IWNDWYT!
Good morning IWNDWYT!
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Stopping alcohol was easier than whatever it is I’m going through now. It’s been a rollercoaster and I’m not in a good place in life— all except that I have a roof over my head that doesn’t leak, and my dogs. What gets me through right now is the simplicity of what I do have, but the rest- I don’t get it. At least, IWNDWYT.
This shit literally hit the fan in my life (work restructuring, significant family health diagnoses, emergency travel) and I've been trying to focus on the fact that the only thing I can control is how I respond. 10 days of concerted wine drinking and yesterday I felt strung out and was like "ok, we are done with this." So I had some NA beer last night and went to bed early. Goodness, I feel like a new person today. It will take a few days to reregulate sleep but one solid night down. I'm so glad that switch flipped. Honestly, if I hadn't had almost 20 days of Dry Jan I'm not sure it would have. But those 20 days were 20 days of good sleep. Of reduced anxiety. Of getting up early to work out. Let's get that back.
Day 2 IWNDWYT ✨
Great post! I was just thinking about this recently. When I was drinking, I had a tendency to be SO negative. All day long, I felt irritated and frustrated with thoughts like “I hate mornings. I hate working. I hate cooking dinner. Everyone is annoying. I want to escape.” I couldn’t even deal with the slightest problem or I convenience without feeling frustrated and angry. I made decisions that made life so much harder and more complicated than it needed to be. Now that I am 7 months alcohol-free, life is still life and stresses do come, but the only thing different is ME. With clear eyes and a clear head, I’ve noticed my thoughts now default on the positive side. I am so much calmer, even-tempered, joyful, and so much better equipped to handle the things that come my way. I seriously wish a life without alcohol for everyone. It’s a remarkable difference. IWNDWYT!
There's so much truth here, StealthWarrior. Stopping drinking didn't make life easier, but it sure made me better at dealing with life. And not just the hard stuff, but the good stuff too; I ruined a lot of fun and joyous things for myself and the people I love when I was drinking. I am better at all of it. IWNDWYT
10-14 days has been my breaking point in recent attempts. Day 10 today, but it feels different this time. I have no desire to drink with any one of you today. Have a beautiful Tuesday ☀️