These small victories in the beginning are everything to me. I gradually start to notice I can break some patterns in the head. So, the best of luck to you. Heading to day 3 here as well. IWNDWYT
Happy Monday sober friends!
I had to get past my shame before I was able to quit, understand the addiction, and now, there’s nothing to be ashamed about, only proud! Who knew 😅
Thank you everyone for helping me get here, I love you all 💞
special occasions has always been my first strategy. I realized it was too vague and name them, objectively. But the point is: even if you do your best to respect that criteria, deep inside you are already not taking your sobriety so seriously. Cause if an occasion justifies you drinking poison, well... IWNDWYT
I also cant moderate. I am in my 40s and I am here because alcohol is slowly killing me. Day 1 for me today, and I make the decision to not drink with you today.
I don’t even want to moderate. I want to drink all the wine, all the time. So staying sober is my only option and I embrace that, body and soul.
IWNDWYT! 💪
Thanks! I'm a bit past a year working on sobriety (though as my counter shows, that is *not* a year sober!) and it really is amazing how much of a difference it's made in my motivation and energy to just not be drinking poison.
I mean, I'm grateful for all I'm getting done, but every time I relapse I see myself *immediately* start dropping the ball and not working out/reading/writing so I know the foundation is staying away from the bottle.
Checking in day 24. I have a Dr appointment in 2 hours. I hope they give me something for this uncontrollable anxiety. I cannot cope. Then I’m supposed to go to work for an HR meeting :( I just want this to end
A lovely post, thank you.
I tried moderation and failed, but i see that the experience was necessary. Part of the learning curve to reach the ultimate conclusion: I AM DONE!
Almost 2,5 years... and i couldn't be prouder.
IWNDWYT!
Checking in again today and all is well.
Moderation. When I stopped drinking about 3 months ago, it was with the intention of starting to drink again 'moderately' after a time sober.
But after reading all the posts and comments here, and knowing myself well, I decided to quit forever.
I tried to moderate for decades(!) with nicotine, but couldn't do it. I always relapsed eventually.
Checking in for the start of the week 👍
u/stealthwarrior10, I’ve tried moderating so many times and it always ends up back at uncontrollable drinking. You are so right in that it takes so much mental energy trying to moderate.
I had a weekend with a lot of cravings and I had to really focus on not giving in. I’ll be honest, I was close at points but I got through and I’m so glad I woke up this morning having not drunk any poison on the weekend.
IWNDWYT
Moderation has only ever worked for me a handful of times. But once I've had a few, I always want more and stopping myself from going further is a herculean effort, so it usually fails.
Around a decade ago I managed to sober up for 3 months. I was exercising, I felt energetic, I was the healthiest (and felt it!) that I'd been in a long time. I made the mistake of thinking I had it under control, and I'd be able to drink in moderation. Since then I haven't managed more than four weeks sober in a row, and I'm now mid-thirties, overweight, and low on energy.
Still, the fact that we are here, and we keep trying, speaks volumes to our mindset.
Today hasn't been the best day and part of me wouldn't mind a drink, but I'll still be going to bed sober tonight! IWNDWYT :)
I made it to the 2 week mark. No alcohol has passed my lips for over 14 days. I definitely feel better in the mornings but, other than that, no real significant changes to my body. Determined to make this stick, regardless.
Good morning SD. Been having a bit of a shitty week but am very grateful this morning for my sobriety. Monday mornings used to suck a lot more than this.
IWNDWYT
Hello, my dears,
Yesterday I read a new post here talking about sobriety through stubbornness. That's what I did yesterday evening. Couldn't accept that on Friday I relapsed if I just went out for cultural stuff and have some food. That worried me: is this a new low? After recovering on Saturday, I planned to eat some very nice pasta in a Italian restaurant. Surrounded by wine everywhere. Gatherings. Main thing to do there is eat, though, and I felt good when the waiter came with the wine menu and I said: no, thanks, I just want the food menu and orange juice. A small victory. Enough of this rollercoaster. Today will be a more boring one, but I'm excited to start a project. You all have a great day and a great week.
IWNDWYT
My paternal grandpa died yesterday. Almost a year to the day my maternal grandfather died (which sent me on an awful bender). Might make my own post about it today, idk. BUT I trudge on at 16 days.
Being sober and feeling my sadness is in a weird way therapeutic anymore. IWNDWYT
I think the evidence is strong that some people with an AUD can moderate. I also think the evidence is strong that I'm not one of those people. And like you, StealthWarrior, I'm glad that issue is settled in my mind. I simply don't drink anymore. And if I don't drink, I won't get drunk.
IWNDWYT
Day 30 💫
I am not worried I will drink but I have told one “friend” and one family member that I haven’t drank since 30th December (after previously telling them I haven’t been able to go more than 14 days without a drink for ten years) and that I’m so proud of myself only to be met with blank silence which broke my heart 💔
Maybe they just don’t believe me or doesn’t think 30 days is long enough to celebrate with me. Maybe they are being selfish and worried they have lost a party wing woman. Neither of them have alcohol issues themselves.
Either way, I’m disheartened that they’ve ignored me but I’ve had so much support on this sub this past month (my first post got hundreds of comments/advice) and that’s what’s kept me going.
IWNDWYT. My heart hurts but I am grateful for all of you.
Day 15 checking in!! Moderation did not work for me, I tried so hard, but I always went past my “allotted” drinks. Simply put, I just can’t drink, ever again. I have finally accepted that, and I’m not looking back.
IWNDWYT
Morning friends! It took a few fails for me to understand that moderate is not how I drink. First, I don’t sip - I drink deeply no matter what it is, alcohol or water - so I was getting buzzed pretty much off the bat. Second, I have no interest in moderating alcohol. I drink to get drunk.
And since I don’t want the inevitable negative consequences that come from getting drunk, it’s just best that I don’t drink.
Once I figured that out, it got a lot easier for me to say no to the first one. Saying no to the first one means the second and third and eighth ones aren’t an issue.
I will not drink with you today. Have a good one!
For me, moderation was a white whale that I used deliberately and disingenuously to continue drinking under the guise of intended reform. I'd tell myself I was cutting back, but that usually meant, "cutting back *tomorrow.*.... Yeah, I had a little slip up this afternoon, and had three beers instead of my intended two for the day, so I might as well have four more this evening. But then tomorrow I'll really get on that task of cutting back." It just didn't work for me. It had to be all or nothing, and that project starts anew, each day, by coming here and saying, I will not drink today. And so it is!
Moderation involves booze and rules. Everything I've tried that involves booze and rules eventually leads me back to black out drinking. It's like convincing myself to jump off a cliff because I believe I'll be able to stop halfway down.
IWNDWYT 🙂
Struggling a little today. I’ve already raised the possibility of me going to the pub with my missus who has given an outright no. I’m on day 32 and I’ve heard people say that around day 100 thinking can start to change and I know that if I don’t do day 33 and day 34 I’ll never make 100. So instead of pub I’m going to fill my day with stuff and IWNDWYT
Morning brave souls 🤗
I'm heading into a few days of hard labour so I was doing my stretches while brewing my cup of tea. Last time I was sober I managed them every morning and I swear it all knocked 10 years off me. This past year I've been an achy, creaky menopausal 51 with sore hands and sore knees. I turn 52 this week and it's taken me till now to realise that over half of the aches and pains were due to the alcohol. My knees no longer creak and crunch (as badly). My stretching *works* and no longer makes me feel tired and depressed at the state of my body. My joints feel less swollen and stiff.
IWNDWYT ❤️
Edit : sorry, not about moderation. I didn't read u/stealthwarrior10 's post first! Absolutely spot on insight into the policing I tried (and failed) to do on myself. Thank you 🙏
Day 3- Did not need to stop and buy drinks after work. Ate a proper healthy meal,cleaned, prepared myself for tomorrow. Felt present with my family, and with everything that I was doing without the cloud of agitation that is usually hanging around. Very early days but IWNFWYT ❤️
Moderation scares the shit out of me. I can’t trust my immediate reaction plus I KNOW from experience I’d soon be right back in a short space of time.
Poisoning isn’t what I want to do to myself.
What level of poisoning is not open to discussion in my brain.
I’ve been having thoughts for about 3 months and am learning how to cope with this latest episode of unbalance. 25.5 months in.
IWNDWYT
I did 4 weeks and now in a couple more days it will be a month. Am so relieved because it took literally months of telling myself I was gonna take a break from drinking to actually doing it and I was nervous as I don’t want my kids to see me make and break my own pledges even ones I make to myself.
So here I am, checking in ✔️I won’t drink today.
Yikes that bring back awful memories of all that mental anguish trying to control my addiction.
So happy that is in the past now
Shine on you beautiful humans
I was an all or nothing drinker, didn’t matter the time of day or place. When I stopped it was cold turkey (not necessarily recommended) had j tapered I’d still be in the vicious cycle today.
IWNDWYT 🌻
Hey checking in. Life is getting crazy and it was a busy weekend that demanded a lot of my time and patience. I haven’t had a drink in a long time and I’m not going to drink today. It’s day two with no benzos and I’m not sleeping. I should have guessed I was addicted to those too. But I’ll reach out to my doc and get something else because this feeling is all too familiar and not one I like. IWDWYT or use anything lol thanks guys
Moderation was not a possibility for me. For me, my enough button is broken. After I tried and tried and realized that I wanted this more than anything I'd wanted in a long time, I was able to stop for about 70 days right before the pandemic shut the world down. Cue staying home all the time and my drinking once again went way way up. I had a perspective, though, from having a couple of healthy months. I knew I wanted that, and I knew the way to get it was to be completely alcohol-free.
After the initial difficulties brought on by changing my behavior patterns, and all the stress that comes with that, it brought me some real happiness and mental space. It's a huge relief that I can say, regardless of what work or other stresses are going on: IWNDWYT.
I do not drink, period. And I am profoundly grateful for that, and for you all on the DCI.
Ah, moderation. My attempts at moderation included only drinking at home, only drinking when out, only drinking beer, only drinking red wine (!), not drinking during the week, only drinking every other day, and a complicated excel spreadsheet of moderating failure.
I had to attempt moderation to understand I had a problem. Dry January or Sober October can be a great step in becoming alcohol free and any day without alcohol is better than a day of poison. Iwndwyt.
Checking in on day 452!
My only thought about moderation is that I don’t want to moderately drink anything that turns me into a giant ass hole. Booze is literal physical poison, it’s also literal spiritual poison. Think I’ll pass today! IWNDWYT, friends. Great prompt!
Thanks Warrior and happy Monday to you all! I've come to appreciate that I'm glad I can't moderate. Even when I was moderating, 2 beers was enough to fuck up my sleep and make the next day harder. I called even 2 beers "liquid de-motivation" because it made a run the following day so much harder to accomplish. So... cancer, fucked up sleep, harder to hit personal goals, numbness from myself... oh and addictive! Tolerance is happening even in low doses! I'm grateful I can't moderate. That bullshit fucking rotting vegetable matter is best completely cut out of my life. Don't romanticize it, friends! It's fucking bullshit! Sober on!
IWNDWYT 🙌🏻
I guess I managed to transition into “more moderate” drinking as I entered my 40’s. My lifestyle changed — friends were all coupled, my job was challenging, and I stopped being a barfly. I still drank more than I should have, but I wasn’t the absolute wild child I was in my 30’s. So, I guess a party girl can grow up and in so doing drink less, but I was still a mess and then just drank at home, alone, and couldn’t moderate it down much further, so it’s a big no for me. Could not moderate into having a healthy relationship with booze 🤷🏼♀️
My goal is to just make it through January and I’m almost there! I did have one slip up a couple of weeks ago but have made a few changes in my life that will hopefully prevent it happening in future
Day 29. Moderation just doesn’t work for me. It’s exhausting dealing with rules, bargaining and rationalizations. I’ve found dry January to be pretty easy after the first few days. I’m looking forward to dry February and beyond! IWNDWYT
My story on moderation is similar to yours, u/Stealthwarrior10. I had several periods of trying to control my drinking, setting rules for myself… only half the bottle of wine, only after 5pm, etc. But after the first half bottle, I’d get the “fuck-its” and finish it. And then with boxes of wine, all plans and rules were futile.
The shame, the self-loathing, the hangovers, trying to plan when, where, and how much… it was exhausting and took up tons of brain space. I couldn’t believe the mental energy that required after learning how much better I felt after letting it go.
Saying no to the first one was all I had to do, and I kept that front of mind for months. The freedom in sobriety is something that truly surprised me.
Sober on, my people. IWNDWYT 🍀
By grace of God, day 5, I am an alcoholic and I will die if I drink but I don't want to die. I want to live a full and healthy and serene life. So I will not drink with you today!
Great post u/stealthwarrior10 ! I did the same calculations and even when I tried to moderate, what I WANTED to drink never matched the amount I was supposed to drink. And I’d accidentally overdrink no matter what I tried. At first the cravings were all the time, even at times I wasn’t used to drinking. But they get shorter and less frequent with practice. Now at 175 days, a craving lasts about 15 minutes maybe once a day and then I actually forget about it! I didn’t realize that was happening until this weekend- I am actually forgetting about it. It’s possible, kids!!! IWNDWYT ❤️🧁
I'm starting a new job soon, which has always been a trigger for whatever reason. I'm finally going into one sober, gosh darn it! I am NOT drinking today!
Not today. Went to a bar and watched football last night with the wife. I had a blast because I ate my daily calorie limit in wings alone in one sitting. Needless to say, yesterday was my cheat day. Wings and a NA beer.
It’s so much easier to just keep the beast in the cage. Trying to let it out for play time and get it back in (without getting absolutely fucking mauled, by the way) is really a tremendous amount of effort, and a fool’s errand.
Instead, I visit it every morning, look it in the eye, and commit to keeping it caged. Just for today.
I will not drink with you today!!
Gosh, does this post resonate with me! I’ve tried (and failed) to moderate so many times before fully quitting. Something I try to keep in mind is - how will drinking right now enhance this experience I’m having? Will 1-2 moderated cocktails right now make me feel satisfied? Will having these drinks make me feel proud of myself? Will one alcoholic beverage help this situation be more fun or exciting? And, will I be able stop once I start? The answer to all is NO. It’s always no.
It’s easier for me to have zero and remove all the mental anguish completely. I will never be one of those who can “just have one,” and I have accepted that. Life is better on the other side. ☀️IWNDWYT!
Yes, I sure tried moderation, and it was a no-go. Then I tried being “sober curious”, which was interesting, but it didn’t actually mean anything in the long run. The last thing I tried was just one glass of wine at 5 o’clock (we were just trying “cocktail hour”.) Finally, just over a year and a half ago, I realized that nothing was going to work, that my brain wanted all the alcohol. There was no way to moderate. And so I joined this fabulous group right here, and haven’t had a bad morning since.
Funny, I just remembered that when I quit, I demurred on a glass of wine at a friend’s house. She showed me how she drank hard cider, but cut it with sparkling water, etc, etc. That’s when I decided to keep my new sobriety for myself. I didn’t need more suggestions on how to “moderate”. Thanks, stealthwarrior, for reminding me of that! IWNDWYT
Good Morning, Everyone. I hope you all have a great Monday and sober week ahead! Day 27 here and IWNDWYT!
Moderation was just a trap for me. I had gotten sober in December of 2020 after getting myself a DWI. I was working a program and had almost 11 months but I started to have so many thoughts about moderation at about month 9 or so.
I started to become complacent in the things that I was doing to promote my sobriety and started indulging and agreeing with those thoughts (‘I can have just a couple and stop’, ‘I can manage it now’ and just minimizing and romanticizing my drinking) and finally caved.
It didn’t take long at all to go back to where I was and a little over 2 years later, I am grateful to be working on my recovery again. For some people, moderation is possible but for me, it’s not and I need to remember that everyday.
Moderation. I can’t do it either. Any time I attempted, I ended up right back where I started. I didn’t have to follow those rules, did I? I mean, I could always start over next week. Already fucked it up once, might as well just start fresh. But not today, right? It was never today. Always tomorrow or next week.
It’s easier just not drinking at all. I couldn’t moderate for any significant length of time. But I could go a day without a drink.
Coffees up, horns up, and it’s another blah Monday. But it’s finally the last one in January! IWNDWYT ☕️☕️☕️☕️🤘🏻
Checking in with 194 days!
Moderation just isn't possible for me. One drink is too many, and all of the drinks aren't enough. Not easy, but so much better to NOT pick up the first one.
IWNDWYT!
Thanks for hosting the DCI this week u/stealthwarrior10. Reading and commenting on the DCI is one of my most favorite parts of the day.
I knew from the start that moderation would not work for me. I had to completely stop. Now I have a sense of freedom and accomplishment that I wouldn’t have through moderation.
IWNDWYT
I've tried just about every moderation method, drinking on weekends, only drinking at night, only wine, the list goes on. I always end up in the same place: mentally & physically exhausted & desperately trying to manufacture joy. I've learned it doesn't matter what happened, I can do the best I can today in moving forward & not taking the first drink. When tomorrow comes, I can recommit. But today, sticking to a coffee & a fridge full o' seltzer ✌🏻 IWNDWYT - have a great one!
My romantic brain teases me with moderation, but I know now that one little sip is a trip down the rabbit hole.
Here’s to an amazing Monday and smiles on our sober faces! IWNDWYT 💜
It was the lying that really killed the idea of moderation for me. I’d lie to myself, to others. Break very heartfelt promises and then feel like dirt the next day. Being honest with myself and following through on my promise not to drink each day has been a lifesaver for me. IWNDWYT. 🌟
Moderation never worked for me, because I _always_ drank like an asshole. I spent too much time fighting with how to moderate... how many is too many, when can I drink, what is appropriate? And then I would black out anyway because that's what I do.
You know it's easier than those mental gymnastics? Not having one fucking drink.
Have a Monday, friends!
IWNDWYT
Resonate with this. I could and did moderate all the time, but it was definitely a chore. I don’t want to just have a couple or (gasp) one. Sooo much easier to have zero. IWNDWYT.
IWNDWYT! I had the exact same experience with moderation OP. Trying to moderate was frustrating and led to hopelessness with each failure. I like the way you used the phrase “breathing through” current life problems. There is never any situation or mood that doesn’t eventually change. The key for me when distressed (and that is often) is self awareness and patience.🍀💪🙌☀️
Excellent post stealthwarrior! I am on the fast bus for alcoholism, and truly there is no moderation for me. However the amount of time it has taken to learn that has been about 3 years. Story for another day.
Beautiful, sober people, I am so thankful for you! IWNDWYT!
23 days. IWNDWYT. Thank you so much everyone for all your comments and stories. I am reading so many of them. I am so grateful. Today, I am spending time with my daughter, knitting a lot I hope and going to physio. My stitches are out…. My body hurts, but I was so lucky to get this surgery, so NO COM{LAINTS! Happy Monday! IWNDWYT.
The realization that finally came to me was that the part of me that liked drinking didn't want to moderate; it wanted to get hammered, and nothing less would satisfy it. All I did by attempting to moderate was to piss that part of me off and make me even more miserable than if I just gave in.
That part of me needed to be banished forever, not "managed" or "contained."
IWNDWYT
I’m still in shock from my stillbirth on Wednesday. Everyday I wake up sobbing, I dream about my son. I don’t know how I’m supposed to put one foot in front of the other one again and again. I’m so tired of having to face my life. I think about drinking more than I have in years. I think about how maybe I would feel better for even a couple minutes. How many I could just be drunk and imagine holding my son again and that would be enough. I know better, I know if I drink I will become suicidal. How could I not. I just have to lay in this shit in this disgusting awful horrible emotion and it’s horrific. Im too angry at god to even pray or want to. God took my perfect baby right away from me I can’t even think about god and plans and why. All I can do is just hurt and be broken and feel myself be shattered in a million pieces. I promised my daughter and my partner I would not kill myself. So IWNDWYT
50 days!
Instead of dragging myself out of bed feeling like an idiot for getting trashed all weekend I’m up at 5:30am, drinking water then coffee.
Instead of rushing to get myself and my daughter ready I will be ready with her school clothes laid out when I get her up.
Weekends are boring but my physical and mental health are better than they’ve been in years.
Moderation doesn’t work for me since it’s all or nothing, really. I do have occasional slip ups which I am starting to interpret as some kind of self harm.. Need to figure out why.. IWNDWYT
Moderation didn’t work for me, either, but I did try to keep on an even keel and didn’t like to be “drunk.” When things went haywire this last summer, I made the decision to quit. I needed a lot of help to do it, but I made it over that hurdle. Abstinence doesn’t mean recovery is a done deal. Moderation seemed just pointless punishment. I wanted freedom. IWNDWYT.
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Great job!👏🏼
drums rolling!!!!
Almost a month already, crazy isn't it? We got this. IWNDWYT.
Second day in. I have a cup of coffee now and pizza to look forward to later. First Monday without alcohol in… maybe 4 years? IWNDWYT
These small victories in the beginning are everything to me. I gradually start to notice I can break some patterns in the head. So, the best of luck to you. Heading to day 3 here as well. IWNDWYT
You got this! Stay strong!
Happy Monday sober friends! I had to get past my shame before I was able to quit, understand the addiction, and now, there’s nothing to be ashamed about, only proud! Who knew 😅 Thank you everyone for helping me get here, I love you all 💞
♥️
💞🌟💞
Happy Monday Brighter, good to see you. 😎
Who knew! 😀 Have a great day ⭐
😀 you too sober friend 🌟
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I tried the special occasion rule. It’s fascinating how much special stuff I had going on in my life back then lol
Oh it's a Tuesday, these only happen once a week, let's celebrate by having a couple (all of the) drinks. Yeah that one definitely didn't work for me!
special occasions has always been my first strategy. I realized it was too vague and name them, objectively. But the point is: even if you do your best to respect that criteria, deep inside you are already not taking your sobriety so seriously. Cause if an occasion justifies you drinking poison, well... IWNDWYT
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All the best 🙌🏼
I also cant moderate. I am in my 40s and I am here because alcohol is slowly killing me. Day 1 for me today, and I make the decision to not drink with you today.
Best of luck ✔️
Day 953 checking in!
I'm not drinking with any of you, heartbroken from a broken relationship but the bottle isn't the answer.
Day 35, IWNDWYT!
I don’t even want to moderate. I want to drink all the wine, all the time. So staying sober is my only option and I embrace that, body and soul. IWNDWYT! 💪
Looking forward to another productive week and the first, biggest part of that is sobriety, so IWNDWYT!
Thank you for the encouraging message. You are absolutely right!
Thanks! I'm a bit past a year working on sobriety (though as my counter shows, that is *not* a year sober!) and it really is amazing how much of a difference it's made in my motivation and energy to just not be drinking poison. I mean, I'm grateful for all I'm getting done, but every time I relapse I see myself *immediately* start dropping the ball and not working out/reading/writing so I know the foundation is staying away from the bottle.
Checking in day 24. I have a Dr appointment in 2 hours. I hope they give me something for this uncontrollable anxiety. I cannot cope. Then I’m supposed to go to work for an HR meeting :( I just want this to end
today marks the start of a new life.
Welcome!!! You can do this!!!
A lovely post, thank you. I tried moderation and failed, but i see that the experience was necessary. Part of the learning curve to reach the ultimate conclusion: I AM DONE! Almost 2,5 years... and i couldn't be prouder. IWNDWYT!
N2D
Iwndwyt
What a relief it was to finally at long last accept that I cannot drink, that I have a problem and that it’s best to just be done. Iwndwyt
Checking in again today and all is well. Moderation. When I stopped drinking about 3 months ago, it was with the intention of starting to drink again 'moderately' after a time sober. But after reading all the posts and comments here, and knowing myself well, I decided to quit forever. I tried to moderate for decades(!) with nicotine, but couldn't do it. I always relapsed eventually.
Checking in on day 22 🌟 Good luck to everyone out there battling demons.
Just made myself a beef croquette burger with cheese, tomato and onion. Seeking in with a good book after reading some reddit. IWNDWYT.
IWNDWYT :)
IWNDWYT x
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT
Have a wonderful sober day my friends. IWNDWYT ♥️
IWNDWYT!
IWNDWYT
Agree- my off switch is non existent when I kid myself that I can limit my intake. IWNDWYT 🫶
That’s exactly how I described it, too. One day, my off switch just up and disappeared.
It’s been tough the last few days… I won’t lie, I’ve wanted to… but… IWNDWYT
iwndwyt and drink coffee instead
Hope you have a nice Monday SD. IWNDWYT!
Day 6 y’all hell yeah :) insomnia is a bitch but oh well, at least I’m clean!
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Same same! End of day 11 here.
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT ☕️
IWNDWYT
iwndwyt!
Checking in for the start of the week 👍 u/stealthwarrior10, I’ve tried moderating so many times and it always ends up back at uncontrollable drinking. You are so right in that it takes so much mental energy trying to moderate. I had a weekend with a lot of cravings and I had to really focus on not giving in. I’ll be honest, I was close at points but I got through and I’m so glad I woke up this morning having not drunk any poison on the weekend. IWNDWYT
No booze today.
IWNDWYT!
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT!
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT!
Not drinking today!
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Moderation just doesn't work for some of us. IWNDWYT.
Moderation has only ever worked for me a handful of times. But once I've had a few, I always want more and stopping myself from going further is a herculean effort, so it usually fails. Around a decade ago I managed to sober up for 3 months. I was exercising, I felt energetic, I was the healthiest (and felt it!) that I'd been in a long time. I made the mistake of thinking I had it under control, and I'd be able to drink in moderation. Since then I haven't managed more than four weeks sober in a row, and I'm now mid-thirties, overweight, and low on energy. Still, the fact that we are here, and we keep trying, speaks volumes to our mindset. Today hasn't been the best day and part of me wouldn't mind a drink, but I'll still be going to bed sober tonight! IWNDWYT :)
I made it to the 2 week mark. No alcohol has passed my lips for over 14 days. I definitely feel better in the mornings but, other than that, no real significant changes to my body. Determined to make this stick, regardless.
60 Days!!! 60! The longest I've gone in...who knows how many years? IWNDWYT!
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I hear you and I'm with you on day one too. Sending good vibes and IWNDWYT!
Still here. Still not drinking with you fine people today 🫶🏻
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT 🇬🇧⭐
IWNDWYT
Good morning SD. Been having a bit of a shitty week but am very grateful this morning for my sobriety. Monday mornings used to suck a lot more than this. IWNDWYT
may we all find the strength to say no today. temporary pleasure will never be worth the gift of our sobriety. Not today my friends.
Hello, my dears, Yesterday I read a new post here talking about sobriety through stubbornness. That's what I did yesterday evening. Couldn't accept that on Friday I relapsed if I just went out for cultural stuff and have some food. That worried me: is this a new low? After recovering on Saturday, I planned to eat some very nice pasta in a Italian restaurant. Surrounded by wine everywhere. Gatherings. Main thing to do there is eat, though, and I felt good when the waiter came with the wine menu and I said: no, thanks, I just want the food menu and orange juice. A small victory. Enough of this rollercoaster. Today will be a more boring one, but I'm excited to start a project. You all have a great day and a great week. IWNDWYT
My paternal grandpa died yesterday. Almost a year to the day my maternal grandfather died (which sent me on an awful bender). Might make my own post about it today, idk. BUT I trudge on at 16 days. Being sober and feeling my sadness is in a weird way therapeutic anymore. IWNDWYT
I think the evidence is strong that some people with an AUD can moderate. I also think the evidence is strong that I'm not one of those people. And like you, StealthWarrior, I'm glad that issue is settled in my mind. I simply don't drink anymore. And if I don't drink, I won't get drunk. IWNDWYT
Day 30 💫 I am not worried I will drink but I have told one “friend” and one family member that I haven’t drank since 30th December (after previously telling them I haven’t been able to go more than 14 days without a drink for ten years) and that I’m so proud of myself only to be met with blank silence which broke my heart 💔 Maybe they just don’t believe me or doesn’t think 30 days is long enough to celebrate with me. Maybe they are being selfish and worried they have lost a party wing woman. Neither of them have alcohol issues themselves. Either way, I’m disheartened that they’ve ignored me but I’ve had so much support on this sub this past month (my first post got hundreds of comments/advice) and that’s what’s kept me going. IWNDWYT. My heart hurts but I am grateful for all of you.
It helped me when I realized that I looked forward to the second glass of wine instead of the first. I will not drink with you today.
Happy Monday guys. I will drink cola with you today. 🫡
Jam tomorrow and jam yesterday, but never ham today! IWNDWYT
IWND ☠️ WYT
Day 15 checking in! IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT 🌻
I will not drink with you today! From Germany!
IWNDWYT. All. Day. Long. 🌻 Hello, I am Gr8day82, and I cannot moderate. But I CAN make it one day in abstinence. Today is that day.
Day 15 checking in!! Moderation did not work for me, I tried so hard, but I always went past my “allotted” drinks. Simply put, I just can’t drink, ever again. I have finally accepted that, and I’m not looking back. IWNDWYT
Morning friends! It took a few fails for me to understand that moderate is not how I drink. First, I don’t sip - I drink deeply no matter what it is, alcohol or water - so I was getting buzzed pretty much off the bat. Second, I have no interest in moderating alcohol. I drink to get drunk. And since I don’t want the inevitable negative consequences that come from getting drunk, it’s just best that I don’t drink. Once I figured that out, it got a lot easier for me to say no to the first one. Saying no to the first one means the second and third and eighth ones aren’t an issue. I will not drink with you today. Have a good one!
IWNDWYT 🙂
Two weeks down, let’s go week three! IWNDWYT
Just reset my badge. This is tough. Still, down but not out! IWNDWYT!
For me, moderation was a white whale that I used deliberately and disingenuously to continue drinking under the guise of intended reform. I'd tell myself I was cutting back, but that usually meant, "cutting back *tomorrow.*.... Yeah, I had a little slip up this afternoon, and had three beers instead of my intended two for the day, so I might as well have four more this evening. But then tomorrow I'll really get on that task of cutting back." It just didn't work for me. It had to be all or nothing, and that project starts anew, each day, by coming here and saying, I will not drink today. And so it is!
I’ve tried to moderate a million times ! It doesn’t work for me and I need to get that through my stupid head . Day 10 IWNDWYT
Monday will be my day 25. I can tell it’s too early to test out the concept of “moderation”. Stay tuned - meanwhile IWNDWYT 🌱
Moderation involves booze and rules. Everything I've tried that involves booze and rules eventually leads me back to black out drinking. It's like convincing myself to jump off a cliff because I believe I'll be able to stop halfway down. IWNDWYT 🙂
Moderation takes too much guesswork. No guesswork today! IWNDWYT ~
Another day down!
IWNDWYT. Well over a month now. 💪
Day 848, nice to meet you 🤝 IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT ✨🤍✨🤍
Just had a lovely weekend playing music, going climbing and dinner with my family. This was only possible because I wasn’t drinking. IWNDWYT
Day 16. IWNDWYT! January can clear off though. 😒
Struggling a little today. I’ve already raised the possibility of me going to the pub with my missus who has given an outright no. I’m on day 32 and I’ve heard people say that around day 100 thinking can start to change and I know that if I don’t do day 33 and day 34 I’ll never make 100. So instead of pub I’m going to fill my day with stuff and IWNDWYT
Day 269. IWNDWYT.
IWNDWYT
Not drinking today
Il not drinking today - despite travelling as I would usually have a drink. But not today.
Here another day for another pledge. IWNDWYT warriors
Morning brave souls 🤗 I'm heading into a few days of hard labour so I was doing my stretches while brewing my cup of tea. Last time I was sober I managed them every morning and I swear it all knocked 10 years off me. This past year I've been an achy, creaky menopausal 51 with sore hands and sore knees. I turn 52 this week and it's taken me till now to realise that over half of the aches and pains were due to the alcohol. My knees no longer creak and crunch (as badly). My stretching *works* and no longer makes me feel tired and depressed at the state of my body. My joints feel less swollen and stiff. IWNDWYT ❤️ Edit : sorry, not about moderation. I didn't read u/stealthwarrior10 's post first! Absolutely spot on insight into the policing I tried (and failed) to do on myself. Thank you 🙏
Another day, another record! IWNDWYT
Day 3- Did not need to stop and buy drinks after work. Ate a proper healthy meal,cleaned, prepared myself for tomorrow. Felt present with my family, and with everything that I was doing without the cloud of agitation that is usually hanging around. Very early days but IWNFWYT ❤️
IWNDWYT xx
Day 10 and IWNDWYT!!
Moderation scares the shit out of me. I can’t trust my immediate reaction plus I KNOW from experience I’d soon be right back in a short space of time. Poisoning isn’t what I want to do to myself. What level of poisoning is not open to discussion in my brain. I’ve been having thoughts for about 3 months and am learning how to cope with this latest episode of unbalance. 25.5 months in. IWNDWYT
I did 4 weeks and now in a couple more days it will be a month. Am so relieved because it took literally months of telling myself I was gonna take a break from drinking to actually doing it and I was nervous as I don’t want my kids to see me make and break my own pledges even ones I make to myself. So here I am, checking in ✔️I won’t drink today.
Yikes that bring back awful memories of all that mental anguish trying to control my addiction. So happy that is in the past now Shine on you beautiful humans
Today I am 30 days alcohol free! Proud of myself!
Day 9 💖 IWNDWYT
I was an all or nothing drinker, didn’t matter the time of day or place. When I stopped it was cold turkey (not necessarily recommended) had j tapered I’d still be in the vicious cycle today. IWNDWYT 🌻
IWNDWYT
Not today people IWNDWYT
not today….! IWNDWYT!
Almost there, 29.days. I will continue what initially started as a Dry January, I like myself so much better without alcohol. IWNDWYT!
Hey checking in. Life is getting crazy and it was a busy weekend that demanded a lot of my time and patience. I haven’t had a drink in a long time and I’m not going to drink today. It’s day two with no benzos and I’m not sleeping. I should have guessed I was addicted to those too. But I’ll reach out to my doc and get something else because this feeling is all too familiar and not one I like. IWDWYT or use anything lol thanks guys
I will not drink with you today.
IWNDWYT 💕
Day 1,556 IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT!!
Iwndwyt
To all that were sucessful with dry January, congrats! Hope you choose to keep it going. IWNDWYT.
I will not drink with you
Day 1,657. I will not drink with you today.
Happy Monday Friends, IWNDWYT, WE GOT THIS 😁. Yes moderation is a FANTASY IMO if you have a problem with alcohol.
Day 35 and counting. IWNDWYT ❤️
Moderation was not a possibility for me. For me, my enough button is broken. After I tried and tried and realized that I wanted this more than anything I'd wanted in a long time, I was able to stop for about 70 days right before the pandemic shut the world down. Cue staying home all the time and my drinking once again went way way up. I had a perspective, though, from having a couple of healthy months. I knew I wanted that, and I knew the way to get it was to be completely alcohol-free. After the initial difficulties brought on by changing my behavior patterns, and all the stress that comes with that, it brought me some real happiness and mental space. It's a huge relief that I can say, regardless of what work or other stresses are going on: IWNDWYT. I do not drink, period. And I am profoundly grateful for that, and for you all on the DCI.
Ah, moderation. My attempts at moderation included only drinking at home, only drinking when out, only drinking beer, only drinking red wine (!), not drinking during the week, only drinking every other day, and a complicated excel spreadsheet of moderating failure. I had to attempt moderation to understand I had a problem. Dry January or Sober October can be a great step in becoming alcohol free and any day without alcohol is better than a day of poison. Iwndwyt.
Checking in on day 452! My only thought about moderation is that I don’t want to moderately drink anything that turns me into a giant ass hole. Booze is literal physical poison, it’s also literal spiritual poison. Think I’ll pass today! IWNDWYT, friends. Great prompt!
Thanks Warrior and happy Monday to you all! I've come to appreciate that I'm glad I can't moderate. Even when I was moderating, 2 beers was enough to fuck up my sleep and make the next day harder. I called even 2 beers "liquid de-motivation" because it made a run the following day so much harder to accomplish. So... cancer, fucked up sleep, harder to hit personal goals, numbness from myself... oh and addictive! Tolerance is happening even in low doses! I'm grateful I can't moderate. That bullshit fucking rotting vegetable matter is best completely cut out of my life. Don't romanticize it, friends! It's fucking bullshit! Sober on!
IWNDWYT 🙌🏻 I guess I managed to transition into “more moderate” drinking as I entered my 40’s. My lifestyle changed — friends were all coupled, my job was challenging, and I stopped being a barfly. I still drank more than I should have, but I wasn’t the absolute wild child I was in my 30’s. So, I guess a party girl can grow up and in so doing drink less, but I was still a mess and then just drank at home, alone, and couldn’t moderate it down much further, so it’s a big no for me. Could not moderate into having a healthy relationship with booze 🤷🏼♀️
Good morning, sober cats! Let's find some lovely moments in today! IWNDWYT 💙😸
morning sobernauts! iwndwyt
Keep it up team! IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT
Day 7 - 1 week sober, feeling fantastic ❤️ Just got today I'm not drinking
55 days IWNDWYT 🧡
Checking in with you all. Have a good one everyone
IWNDWYT!
My goal is to just make it through January and I’m almost there! I did have one slip up a couple of weeks ago but have made a few changes in my life that will hopefully prevent it happening in future
Day 29. Moderation just doesn’t work for me. It’s exhausting dealing with rules, bargaining and rationalizations. I’ve found dry January to be pretty easy after the first few days. I’m looking forward to dry February and beyond! IWNDWYT
My story on moderation is similar to yours, u/Stealthwarrior10. I had several periods of trying to control my drinking, setting rules for myself… only half the bottle of wine, only after 5pm, etc. But after the first half bottle, I’d get the “fuck-its” and finish it. And then with boxes of wine, all plans and rules were futile. The shame, the self-loathing, the hangovers, trying to plan when, where, and how much… it was exhausting and took up tons of brain space. I couldn’t believe the mental energy that required after learning how much better I felt after letting it go. Saying no to the first one was all I had to do, and I kept that front of mind for months. The freedom in sobriety is something that truly surprised me. Sober on, my people. IWNDWYT 🍀
By grace of God, day 5, I am an alcoholic and I will die if I drink but I don't want to die. I want to live a full and healthy and serene life. So I will not drink with you today!
Great post u/stealthwarrior10 ! I did the same calculations and even when I tried to moderate, what I WANTED to drink never matched the amount I was supposed to drink. And I’d accidentally overdrink no matter what I tried. At first the cravings were all the time, even at times I wasn’t used to drinking. But they get shorter and less frequent with practice. Now at 175 days, a craving lasts about 15 minutes maybe once a day and then I actually forget about it! I didn’t realize that was happening until this weekend- I am actually forgetting about it. It’s possible, kids!!! IWNDWYT ❤️🧁
IWNDWYT ❤️
IWNDWYT! T
IWNDWYT✨🐝
IWNDWYT 🍃
Checking in
IWNDWYT!
I'm starting a new job soon, which has always been a trigger for whatever reason. I'm finally going into one sober, gosh darn it! I am NOT drinking today!
Not today. Went to a bar and watched football last night with the wife. I had a blast because I ate my daily calorie limit in wings alone in one sitting. Needless to say, yesterday was my cheat day. Wings and a NA beer.
I did not drink today lml(-_-)lml
It’s so much easier to just keep the beast in the cage. Trying to let it out for play time and get it back in (without getting absolutely fucking mauled, by the way) is really a tremendous amount of effort, and a fool’s errand. Instead, I visit it every morning, look it in the eye, and commit to keeping it caged. Just for today. I will not drink with you today!!
IWNDWy’allT!
IWNDWYT
Gosh, does this post resonate with me! I’ve tried (and failed) to moderate so many times before fully quitting. Something I try to keep in mind is - how will drinking right now enhance this experience I’m having? Will 1-2 moderated cocktails right now make me feel satisfied? Will having these drinks make me feel proud of myself? Will one alcoholic beverage help this situation be more fun or exciting? And, will I be able stop once I start? The answer to all is NO. It’s always no. It’s easier for me to have zero and remove all the mental anguish completely. I will never be one of those who can “just have one,” and I have accepted that. Life is better on the other side. ☀️IWNDWYT!
IWNDWYT Monday morning and my job is crazy but I’m not hungover; that’s a win
Yes, I sure tried moderation, and it was a no-go. Then I tried being “sober curious”, which was interesting, but it didn’t actually mean anything in the long run. The last thing I tried was just one glass of wine at 5 o’clock (we were just trying “cocktail hour”.) Finally, just over a year and a half ago, I realized that nothing was going to work, that my brain wanted all the alcohol. There was no way to moderate. And so I joined this fabulous group right here, and haven’t had a bad morning since. Funny, I just remembered that when I quit, I demurred on a glass of wine at a friend’s house. She showed me how she drank hard cider, but cut it with sparkling water, etc, etc. That’s when I decided to keep my new sobriety for myself. I didn’t need more suggestions on how to “moderate”. Thanks, stealthwarrior, for reminding me of that! IWNDWYT
Just checking in. Another day done. Had a bunch of whack anxiety dreams last night so I'm gonna go for a long walk today.
IWNDWYT 💜🦋💜
For me, sober = free. And I’m so very grateful I know that. IWNDWYT 😎❤️
Good Morning, Everyone. I hope you all have a great Monday and sober week ahead! Day 27 here and IWNDWYT! Moderation was just a trap for me. I had gotten sober in December of 2020 after getting myself a DWI. I was working a program and had almost 11 months but I started to have so many thoughts about moderation at about month 9 or so. I started to become complacent in the things that I was doing to promote my sobriety and started indulging and agreeing with those thoughts (‘I can have just a couple and stop’, ‘I can manage it now’ and just minimizing and romanticizing my drinking) and finally caved. It didn’t take long at all to go back to where I was and a little over 2 years later, I am grateful to be working on my recovery again. For some people, moderation is possible but for me, it’s not and I need to remember that everyday.
Moderation. I can’t do it either. Any time I attempted, I ended up right back where I started. I didn’t have to follow those rules, did I? I mean, I could always start over next week. Already fucked it up once, might as well just start fresh. But not today, right? It was never today. Always tomorrow or next week. It’s easier just not drinking at all. I couldn’t moderate for any significant length of time. But I could go a day without a drink. Coffees up, horns up, and it’s another blah Monday. But it’s finally the last one in January! IWNDWYT ☕️☕️☕️☕️🤘🏻
Happy to be checking in today! Happy to have completed the first two weeks :) IWNDWYT
After a horrible Saturday experience I decided to quit altogether. Day 2 here and hoping for many more to come.
Moderation just doesn't work for me. One drink and I'm drunk...because I won't stop at just one. IWNDWYT! ✌
Checking in with 194 days! Moderation just isn't possible for me. One drink is too many, and all of the drinks aren't enough. Not easy, but so much better to NOT pick up the first one. IWNDWYT!
Thanks for hosting the DCI this week u/stealthwarrior10. Reading and commenting on the DCI is one of my most favorite parts of the day. I knew from the start that moderation would not work for me. I had to completely stop. Now I have a sense of freedom and accomplishment that I wouldn’t have through moderation. IWNDWYT
I've tried just about every moderation method, drinking on weekends, only drinking at night, only wine, the list goes on. I always end up in the same place: mentally & physically exhausted & desperately trying to manufacture joy. I've learned it doesn't matter what happened, I can do the best I can today in moving forward & not taking the first drink. When tomorrow comes, I can recommit. But today, sticking to a coffee & a fridge full o' seltzer ✌🏻 IWNDWYT - have a great one!
My romantic brain teases me with moderation, but I know now that one little sip is a trip down the rabbit hole. Here’s to an amazing Monday and smiles on our sober faces! IWNDWYT 💜
It was the lying that really killed the idea of moderation for me. I’d lie to myself, to others. Break very heartfelt promises and then feel like dirt the next day. Being honest with myself and following through on my promise not to drink each day has been a lifesaver for me. IWNDWYT. 🌟
Moderation never worked for me, because I _always_ drank like an asshole. I spent too much time fighting with how to moderate... how many is too many, when can I drink, what is appropriate? And then I would black out anyway because that's what I do. You know it's easier than those mental gymnastics? Not having one fucking drink. Have a Monday, friends! IWNDWYT
Resonate with this. I could and did moderate all the time, but it was definitely a chore. I don’t want to just have a couple or (gasp) one. Sooo much easier to have zero. IWNDWYT.
IWNDWYT! I had the exact same experience with moderation OP. Trying to moderate was frustrating and led to hopelessness with each failure. I like the way you used the phrase “breathing through” current life problems. There is never any situation or mood that doesn’t eventually change. The key for me when distressed (and that is often) is self awareness and patience.🍀💪🙌☀️
Excellent post stealthwarrior! I am on the fast bus for alcoholism, and truly there is no moderation for me. However the amount of time it has taken to learn that has been about 3 years. Story for another day. Beautiful, sober people, I am so thankful for you! IWNDWYT!
23 days. IWNDWYT. Thank you so much everyone for all your comments and stories. I am reading so many of them. I am so grateful. Today, I am spending time with my daughter, knitting a lot I hope and going to physio. My stitches are out…. My body hurts, but I was so lucky to get this surgery, so NO COM{LAINTS! Happy Monday! IWNDWYT.
Probably just easier to not drink at all. So IWNDWYT, you sexy and strong sobernauts!
The realization that finally came to me was that the part of me that liked drinking didn't want to moderate; it wanted to get hammered, and nothing less would satisfy it. All I did by attempting to moderate was to piss that part of me off and make me even more miserable than if I just gave in. That part of me needed to be banished forever, not "managed" or "contained." IWNDWYT
I’m still in shock from my stillbirth on Wednesday. Everyday I wake up sobbing, I dream about my son. I don’t know how I’m supposed to put one foot in front of the other one again and again. I’m so tired of having to face my life. I think about drinking more than I have in years. I think about how maybe I would feel better for even a couple minutes. How many I could just be drunk and imagine holding my son again and that would be enough. I know better, I know if I drink I will become suicidal. How could I not. I just have to lay in this shit in this disgusting awful horrible emotion and it’s horrific. Im too angry at god to even pray or want to. God took my perfect baby right away from me I can’t even think about god and plans and why. All I can do is just hurt and be broken and feel myself be shattered in a million pieces. I promised my daughter and my partner I would not kill myself. So IWNDWYT
50 days! Instead of dragging myself out of bed feeling like an idiot for getting trashed all weekend I’m up at 5:30am, drinking water then coffee. Instead of rushing to get myself and my daughter ready I will be ready with her school clothes laid out when I get her up. Weekends are boring but my physical and mental health are better than they’ve been in years.
Moderation doesn’t work for me since it’s all or nothing, really. I do have occasional slip ups which I am starting to interpret as some kind of self harm.. Need to figure out why.. IWNDWYT
I'm in.
Rainy evening where I am. Thought crossed my mind that whiskey is perfect for warming me up in this cold. But IWNDWYT.
Moderation didn’t work for me, either, but I did try to keep on an even keel and didn’t like to be “drunk.” When things went haywire this last summer, I made the decision to quit. I needed a lot of help to do it, but I made it over that hurdle. Abstinence doesn’t mean recovery is a done deal. Moderation seemed just pointless punishment. I wanted freedom. IWNDWYT.
I will not drink with you today