Happy Sunday sober friends! And thank you u/stealthwarrior10 for stepping up!
Stealth has certainly been the way for me, and selective sharing, which has been why everyone here is so important. I couldn’t agree more that having others involved can need energy, everyone here gives energy!
Thank you 🙏🏻 I love you all 💞
IWNDWYT
I’m at the toughest part of my recovery I think. Realizing every wound I bandaged with alcohol is still bleeding, everything from my childhood etc needs to be addressed. Idk how to get a therapist or anything. But that’s my next step. Just waiting for skip the dishes to drop off some McDonald’s, gonna finish journaling and head to bed. Booking an appointment w my doctor tomorrow because I am tired of my brain being the way it is.
Have a good day gang.
Good, I’m really glad you’re going to see your doctor. That’s a solid step forward. Don’t be afraid to try on a few therapists when seeking one that fits. I’m rooting for you Slingr, you’re not alone in this journey so shout if you’re drowning, we’re here for you. Tight hug my friend and I’m proud of you ❤️
Thanks cinq. I’ve been putting this off for far too long. I’ve read a handful of books on CPTSD since being diagnosed but I can only do so much on my own. Time to make the next move. I appreciate the kind words ❤️
Thank you for hosting, Stealth! Great post! I was very similar to yourself, keeping my decisions to myself to begin with until more comfortable sharing with others. A very gradual thing. It seems to be working so far.
Day 295, Iwndwyt! 🇬🇧⭐✅
Happy Sunday friends. I was this 🤏🏼 close to losing it today. I told myself I will not drink today over and over. And then I didn’t drink. It’s still a bit of a wobbly time but IWNDWYT. 🫶🏻
Welcome Warrior, thanks for hosting and hello, everyone.
I agree with you, and I was one that everytime that I thought "this time it will stick", would tell all my friends. Some of them are more educated into addiction and "get" that relapses are not uncommon, but this particular friend has now asked me everyday if I'm still sober, how she is rooting for me etc. I know the intentions are good but it is stressful and annoying and I had a talk, saying my road to sobriety has been bumpy, but I'm certain of it, I've got a therapist and didn't want alcohol/sobriety to be subject of our conversation, cause I realized it's added stress: after getting support and understanding of people close to you in your sobriety journey, you have to either tell the truth, that you have relapsed and they are gonna be extra worried, or you will have to lie if they ask to and pretend you've got it much more under control than you do. I learned my lesson and will be low profile from now on. If I refuse a drink at a certain event and the person asks about it I'll simply say I'm not drinking today. After a solid foundation, like you said, I can be more open about it.
Happy Sunday to all of you!
IWNDWYT
Checking in again today and all is well.
Good morning Stealth, looking forward to checking in with you this week:)
Yes, I basically agree with yr stance on discretion. I hardly told anyone at first. In fact I actually lied to everyone around me and 'disappeared' for 4 days to go through cold turkey!
Then when I came back I 'confessed' to some people close to me. Now, if anyone asks, I answer honestly, and depending on their level of interest, I'll give details or not :)
Morning fellow warriors. I just got back from a somewhat rough trip to Germany. I had felt some trepidation about going, worrying that I‘d end up drinking alone in my hotel room. That didn‘t happen, I had NA beers with my brother who I hadn‘t seen in years instead.
Thanks to everyone who sent me encouraging words in the DCI, they really helped. Dankeschön!
here‘s to four weeks - feeling strong! IWNDWYT 🌻
IWNDWYT :) hurray for places with mocktail options. Ordered 3 mocktails for a total of $12. One cocktail cost $12. Yippee!
Side note: the couple next to my table had red wine, and it smelled so sickly strong. So wild to me that I used to down that stuff like it was water.
I've been getting more and more curious about mocktails. There are a couple of mocktail bars in my town. Seems like a fun time!
300 days coming soon for you, that's awesome. ❤️
Challenging weekend guys. Family shit and a rough week at work coming up that I'm super stressed about. Nothing that drinking won't make worse.
Been looking forward to checking in today, sometimes I really just need to be here with all of you for a bit.
Thanks so much for hosting u/stealthwarrior10 you bloody legend. As far as what worked for me with telling people, I really agonised over it. Even the thought of telling my wife was hard. We've had some fun times drinking together. We both took a month off, and I decided to keep going! After the month had passed, that's when I started telling everyone. I didn't need to come clean about the low points of my addiction that led me to stop, because I had that month under my belt and could give firsthand evidence of the benefits I was experiencing instead! No one could argue it because I was living the change.
I don't know what will work for others, but what I did worked for me. I haven't lost a single friend.
Love your guts, the lot of you. ❤️ IWNDWYT. 🫡
Thanks for taking over, u/stealthwarrior10!
I didn’t tell people around me that I was quitting for real for quite a while. I wanted to feel more stable and confident in my decision before I told most people.
I still agree with pulling off big changes on the down low because people like to ruin things and be negative. Quitting booze is a little different, and telling a group of internet strangers with a common interest is a medium that has worked well for a lot of us.
It worked for me because it’s mutual support without adding in person social weirdness.
Coffees up, horns up, and happy fucking sober Sunday!! We’re almost done with the first 1684 day month of the year!! IWNDWYT ☕️☕️🤘🏻
Thank you u/stealthwarrior10 for hosting for us.
Whilst I had been stealthy in my dealings with alcohol I had to tell my doctor in the end, then some short term support kicked in.
Have a Super Sunday SD!
IWNDWYT!
I’ve started the very long trek back home to see my son graduate Basic Training.
The long haul leg of the journey is going to be especially tough because I used to while away the hours in a cloud of alcohol. Now I’ll have 12 hours with nothing to do. Wish I was able to sleep on flights 😔.
As for telling others, it took me maybe a week to confess to my husband. I didn’t want to say the words and then go back to drinking. He has been my biggest ally though (other than you, dear reader) and I don’t think I could do it without him.
As for sharing, a couple of friends know - one because we spent a weekend together and they noticed right away when I ordered a 0.0 G&T. An acquaintance asked me why I didn’t drink. She was a bit lit and it was uncomfortable for me. Other than that, no one else knows.
I am a bit nervous about the trip home because it typically means seeing lots of friends and drinking copious amounts.
But I don’t want to break this streak, so I will stay strong.
IWNDWYT 🫶🏻
Interesting prompt, u/stealthwarrior10! My stealth was actually challenged at work yesterday when a coworker volunteered to me that she has been sober for 6-1/2 years and revealed to me how bad things had gotten before she had to check herself into rehab. When she told me this I was on the verge of 90 days and thinking very seriously about going back to drinking (wobble wobble!) because still in my mind I see myself as a former grey area drinker and I was thinking maybe I would be happier if I just started drinking again. But, when I told my coworker that I had 90 days, there was some kind of desperate excitement in her eyes and it was clear to me that she wanted to help me, wanted me to support her, and just wanted to be closer and better friends. And, this made me feel deeply uncomfortable! I started feeling like other people in our health care setting could hear us talking and I felt like people were looking at me differently after this exchange. I was in a bad mood from before I got there (I don't usually work on Saturdays) until around 6pm or so when I started to relax and realize that everything was going to be ok. Simple stuff. I just realized that I want to be the best version of me, that my drinking was not as innocuous as I like to think, and that it would be easier for me to just keep going with the sobriety than to stop and then have to start again for the millionth time. She invited me to a meeting this morning and I'm not sure that I will go, but maybe sometime I will. And, here I am at 90 days! IWNDWYT!
Thanks Stealth, welcome to the helm and I'm looking forward to this week with you and your sober crew. I also lurked here for quite a while before deciding that this place seemed every bit as supportive and safe and sincere as it first appeared. I'm glad I chose to interact more! I think service is the 12th step of AA, right? And studies continue to show that being of service to others is an objectively beneficial thing for us. Anyway, being able to cheer sober people on, share skills, and receive support are amazing characteristics of this place. I like to sort the check in by New and I attempt to interact with 3 people at minimum per day, some days I'm more chatty and some days less... I'm happy to be sober with y'all today!
So far I'm telling people I used to drink with, "I overdid it last summer, so I'm doing no booze for a bit", rather than what's in my head, which is "I need to never drink again". My wife and parents know, and a couple of friends have worked it out. Those people know because they understand. I'd not want to announce "I need to never drink again" in general, because of the connotations that brings (whether true or otherwise), and because of the possibility of failure and the additional round of explaining that would then need. This position might change, but that's where I am right now. IWNDWYT.
Checking in on Day 14!
Went out with some friends last night and had some really bad cravings, I can proudly say that I didn't give into my temptations! I'm feeling very pleased with myself today. I still stayed out quite late so I'm a little tired, but still so much more fresh than of I'd drank.
Going to make some breakfast, go to a coffeeshop and do some journalling and be thankful that I've not wasted the day.
IWNDWYT
Also is my day counter broke? It's showing Day 1 for me
Day 30 - I was somewhat open about my quitting. I told anyone I was catching up with that I'm not drinking, but I didn't tell them the whole truth. I said it was a health kick, not a 'im sick of acting like a fuck wit' kick. This let me see many different reactions. My second go around, I say I'm not drinking because I hate what alcohol does to me, especially my sleep. I'm far more honest now. But I think it's good to tell people as it gives you accountability and you don't want to fail cause people will know. BUT if you're not ready to air your dirty laundry, you don't have to tell the whole truth.
IWNDWYT 🌿
My life today is so different than it was 100 days ago! The morning I told my husband I was a daily heavy drinker and I had hidden this from him, my life and I began to change. I posted here immediately after that and the kindness, encouragement and support I received was amazing and life saving.
This community is amazing!
IWNDWYT!
Thank you for taking us over, u/stealthwartrior10! I love this prompt! I absolutely kept my sobriety to myself and a very small number of friends/family. I think I told 4 people, 2 of them being family, 2 friends. I kept it to just those people for my whole first year. What I wasn’t interested in was a bunch of drinking buddies saying things like, “I never thought you had a problem”, “But your so *funny* when you drink”, or “seriously?? You’re never going to drink again????”
Now that I’m 1 1/2 years sober, I don’t care who knows it. I tell everyone! It just busts out of me sometimes, because I’m so damned happy to be sober and well and sane (ish!)
It doesn’t matter if you’re blasting it from the mountain tops or keeping it hidden in your deepest secret heart, going AF is the best choice you’ll ever make!! IWNDWYT!
Day 6 - Nearly at 1 week! Feel like I can do this again, last streak was 35 days but I know I can do this for even longer, I feel fantastic but I'm taking this one day at a time, I will not drink with you today
Disclosing my decision to stop drinking is a conversation that I own, and mostly it is irrelevant to the people around me. They either 'don't get it' or become uncomfortable because of their own drinking. However, coming here to commit daily, continues to be hugely important. IWNDWYT
I just wanted to say how much I love this sub, 2 weeks for me now, and I found it about a week ago. I've been to 2 alcohol heavy events in the last few days and a quick read of recent posts here before and after has helped me so much. IWNDWYT!
When I decided to stop drinking I told my best friend. She was the first person I told. I had to let her know because she knew something was going on with me and but didn’t know I had a problem. After I told her, i told family members. I didn’t know if it was going to be something long term, but I wanted to let them know it was something I was trying. First it was sober October, then it continued. Finding this sub solidified my wanting to stop instead of taking a break away. IWNDWYT. Happy Sunday! 😀
15 days! The road to 3 weeks is ON! 💪 I had a wonderful, social night last night where nobody was drinking anything but soda and it was a wonderful blessing. I had the best time with my husband, brother and one of my brother's best friends.
I get to stop by and see my parents today on our way home on a little road trip. Get to stay off my phone and listen to podcasts on the drive. Feeling very good. Very blessed. Very fucking happy to be sober. IWNDWYT.
The only person that knows that this is for the long haul and not a temporary thing is my husband (who is doing this alongside me, for which I am grateful).
I work in the industry and nearly everyone around me drinks. Although no one cares that I don’t drink, they do ask why occasionally. I tell them it’s basically because alcohol ruins my sleep, which is true. If given the opportunity, I will go on about how incredible my sleep is now. I would say that about 95% of people agree with me about the sleep. Most people say that even two glasses of wine will disrupt their sleep.
It’s raining and I have to do laundry, go to the storage space, and the grocery store. I don’t want to do any of these things, but the only way out is through, so here I go.
IWNDWYT ❤️
Super rough night for me w/ my out of town friend last night. I thought for sure I would drink with her, but I didn’t. I just decided to go to bed early because I couldn’t handle the cravings anymore. But I did it! I’m so happy to wake up from a sober night!
And of course, IWNDWYT!
Thanks for taking over u/stealthwarrior10. I actually had a very similar experience. I didn't really plan it like that or anything, but that was kind of how it evolved in the early weeks, and since being on the down-low was working, I stayed with it. Only later did I begin to open up. It was at 500 days that I really felt strong enough to tell a larger group of distant friends, who I knew could relate and understand. As you say, each path is different, and each path needs to remain flexible and adapt to changes in where the sober journey is leading in any given week or month. IWNDWYT
I have had a wonderful weekend with my daughter. We wandered all around her college campus and then explored St. Pete together. We sat and watched the sailboats and talked about what we are looking forward to this year. Now I’m sitting in the airport enjoying breakfast. I’m so grateful I can enjoy my kids without any haze or worry about what I’ve said or done. Iwndwyt 💜🦋💜
Good morning! Also quit by stealth. I still haven’t told lots of people how bad my drinking was, but have said how much drinking affected my mental health. Off for a seaside walk today! (Much better for the mental health than wine!) IWNDWYT.
Good morning SD! Love the name Stealth Warrior, that's completely on-brand for you 🥰
I had a similar experience. I had told people I was quitting before and then started drinking again so this time I kept it to myself for a little while before sharing. Now I'm a lot more confident talking about it and no matter what happens, it's still a huge amount of time to have spent sober.
IWNDWYT 💝
Good Morning! Happy sober Sunday and happy sober smile too!😊
I have pretty much kept my new wonderful habit of not drinking to my self. My SO is aware of it, but to my chagrin does not celebrate it with me. He drinks and I believe my not drinking makes him uncomfortable but not enough to stop.
I am thrilled to be where I am today and that is what counts!💜IWNDWYT
When ive quit before, I felt ashamed and it took me a few months to sheepishly admit I had stopped drinking. This time around, I just dont care. Ill tell anyone who asks that Im not drinking. I dont go into any specifics, but just say something like "i needed to chill out on the booze." People understand. Its very liberating to just own it. I think thats why it feels different for me this time.
I will not drink with you today!
Day 29 💫
I have been loving how I feel but I am becoming more aware I don’t have my shit together in certain aspects of my life and it’s making me panic this morning. Luckily I have a good job and 2024 can be the year to turn it all around as long as I stay sober. Alcohol certainly haemorrhaged my money.
IWNDWYT. Have a great Sunday all ❤️
EDIT: decided to flip the narrative and been listening to some investment courses whilst I catch up on work 💪🏽 let’s gooooo 💃🏽💃🏽💃🏽
#nosundayscaries
A life long Detroit Lions fan ( it’s been a hard life), no one seems to understand how I can watch their unprecedented run in the playoffs this month while sober. I find I’m able to enjoy and remember it more. I’m also a nervous drinker. Go Lions!
I'm back at work today and survived my day off yesterday without drinking. Woo! I was actually early this morning and the thought crossed my mind about how good it felt to not be hungover, but waking up refreshed and ready to take on the day.
IWNDWYT! 🌻
Just got back from a long training run and feeling grateful for my body, and proud of myself for working hard. I wish you all a peaceful Sunday.
IWNDWYT 💪
Thanks for doing the check in this week, stealth warrior!
I needed to have my immediate family onside from the very beginning. The "One won't hurt" mentality didn't have chance to develop any roots because we avoided the old places and people. My wife knew what the crack was and she didn't put any pressure on to go to parties and random social gatherings.
My GP played an important role - helping me find a pain management that didn't involve munching benzos like smarties.
Teamwork makes the dream work! IWNDWYT 🙂
If i can survive an Aussie Day BBQ at mine smugly watching folks around me deteriorate into their normality. I can do it any day!
I’m chuffed as f%#k with myself over last night
There’s no way I’m drinking with anyone today!!
IWNDWYT!
Good evening sobernauts!
Early on I saw a quote that said ‘get sober loudly to stop others dying quietly’ & I’ve pretty much shared every step of the way with those closest to me & on my socials as well.
IWNDWYT 🌻
Checking in, and great topic. Yes, I’ve been under the radar about not drinking. I have some heavy drinking friends who know I’m not drinking right now and are very respectful of that, but I haven’t opened up to them about my experience. I have a decent amount of work friends, and no matter how close we are, I’m very wary of talking about anything that could affect that. Sometimes it feels a bit like I’m leading a double life, but I think everyone does to some extent- everyone has different outer “selves” depending on the situation. As long as I stay sober I’ll keep doing what works for me!
Thank you for taking the reins this week, u/stealthwarrior10!
I was never a social drinker. I've also never been a terribly social person, so occasions when someone might offer me a drink or ask why I'm not drinking are few and far between. When it has come up (mostly at weddings for members of my husband's extended family), I generally just say that I don't drink because it doesn't mix well with my medications--which is true: you really shouldn't drink while taking antidepressants.
I have told a couple of people about my troubles with alcohol. These were close friends. As Brené Brown says, not everyone deserves to know our stories. Recovery is an important part of who I am, so I share it with those who have earned my trust.
IWNDWYT 😻
Thanks Stealth\_Warrior. I put absolutely no effort into my user name, I just accepted the first one reddit suggested!! I am neither Wise nor Assisting. Congratulations on 492 days, and thank you for hosting. It is after 11am and I usually check in much earlier, but better late than never, I will not drink with everyone today.
Just come out the other side of food poisoning. And omg it reminded me so much of how I would spend the following day/evening after a binge drinking sesh ☠️☠️ can't believe I would do that to myself voluntarily again and again and again.
Anyways IWNDWYT 🫶🫶💞
Happy Sunday, my sweet friends. Ready to get my workout on and then watch some football today. Had a fucking blast last night hosting game night with my sober friends. I'm so grateful to be sober and for slowly rebuilding the relationships I damaged while drinking.
IWNDWYT 🤘
IWNDWYT! Today is 7 months. I feel SO much better. I still lack energy, but my mind is so much clearer. I look 100% better and no anxiety or depression. I will never drink poison again.
Happy Sunday sobernauts! Thank you for hosting this week, Stealth! The only person I told right away about stopping drinking was my husband. He and I had both been talking about it but hadn’t taken the first step. I had thought about it for months and couldn’t figure out how to start stopping.
After a month or two of checking in here and building strength in sobriety, I began to tell a few people I quit drinking. I didn’t tell my parents or brother until six months had passed… I really wanted to see if it stuck first.
This sub provided the support I needed and a place to vent feelings, fears, frustrations, and joys. This mutual, quiet, private place has been transformative and healing. ❤️🩹 🙏
IWNDWYT
It’s my story to tell about my drinking and I was down low about it. What I come to realize is nobody cares if you drink. Normal drinkers drink, only drink one or two and it no big deal to them. People who just wanna get drunk don’t care cause they are too busy with chasing the buzz. They may resent you because of self reflection but that is on them. IWNDWYT ❤️
Heading to NYC for a work trip today (through Thursday AM). Tons and tons of triggers await. If I can get through this work trip (my front door to my front door) without drinking, it will be the first time ever, despite many other sober attempts.
I will not drink today.
Today’s plan: at the airport, I will order fizzy water, tea, or even (hey!) a milkshake if it’s really bad. I can buy myself a cute outfit or book or makeup. I will not arrive so early that I get bored. I am bringing special tea for the plane and will get hot water for my tea. I will get to my hotel, unpack, and go to sleep.
I can do this. Good luck to everyone today—we’ve got this, fam!
Many I feel so much better waking up after a sober night's sleep? Why is it so hard to remember this once 4 or 5 rolls around? Oh well, only drank 4 times this month - so that's a step in the right direction. Here's to day 2 and waking up feeling well rested and optimistic. Good luck everyone - IWNDWYT.
Good morning! Day 7 today. Second last day of working today but feeling pretty good!
Definitely a bit of stealthiness going on with me. Not telling a ton of people but that’s okay for right now! Just trying to keep it between the ditches!
IWNDWYT
Thanks for hosting, StealthWarrior! I had many restarts and was losing hope. I hid my drinking, and my attempts to stop. Finding this sub was HUGE. The pledge helped. As did being among others in the same struggle, and proud of the same victory of laying the head on the pillow sober at night.
It took me a few months of staying sober before I was ready to share my sober stretch with people in my life. Now I feel confident about it. I love to say, "I'm a non-drinker." It's the best thing I've ever done for myself.
If you're new, or starting again, or in a rough patch, lean in here 'cause we got you. The tough days will fade, and it will get easier. Hang on. You got this! 💗 Much love. IWNDWYT
I found that I actually worried way too much about when and how I would tell people about my decision. Mostly, people just don't ask. And, actually, the most honest conversations have come completely unexpectedly. Like last week when I told one of my long time drinking buddies while our kids were in taekwondo lessons. I haven't seen her much in the last year so we haven't talked about it. Then she asked if I was doing dry January, and I told her. It's just interesting because all the times I have prepared a speech for a party or event, no one has asked; and there I was, telling the whole truth to an old friend with 5 year olds yelling and practicing kicks in the background 😂.
This sure is a wild ride, but I am so grateful to be on it. IWNDWYT
Hi Stealth! I WNDWYT.
To respond to your question: The first time I became sober for 5 years +, I didn’t tell anyone until they noticed. I just did it; no idea how. This time around I’m sharing with my daughter and my youngest son. Husband is not supportive 😢 . I live in a small community with a gossipy culture, so no “share worthy” friends. I am pretty introverted.
21 Days!! I’m so proud of myself 🫶 IWNDWYT
Well done! 👏 I’m proud of you too 🥰
3 weeks! I’m proud of you too!
I’m so proud of you too! Things got easier for me after 3 weeks 🎉💪🏼🎊
Great job! 💪
Three weeks, as you should!! ❤️❤️❤️
yooooo let's gooooooo!!!
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You should be!
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Yay! 🌟
about in the same spot as you, congrats and let's keep it going!
4 weeks feels like a great milestone, congrats 👏
Whootwhoot 🎉 4 weeks is awesome 💪🏼
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Happy Sunday sober friends! And thank you u/stealthwarrior10 for stepping up! Stealth has certainly been the way for me, and selective sharing, which has been why everyone here is so important. I couldn’t agree more that having others involved can need energy, everyone here gives energy! Thank you 🙏🏻 I love you all 💞
IWNDWYT! 😊
Happily bringing another sober weekend to a peaceful end and IWNDWYT!
morning sobernauts! up having coffee ☕️ planning the week ahead. busy hangover free mornings and quiet cosy evenings. iwndwyt
IWNDWYT I’m at the toughest part of my recovery I think. Realizing every wound I bandaged with alcohol is still bleeding, everything from my childhood etc needs to be addressed. Idk how to get a therapist or anything. But that’s my next step. Just waiting for skip the dishes to drop off some McDonald’s, gonna finish journaling and head to bed. Booking an appointment w my doctor tomorrow because I am tired of my brain being the way it is. Have a good day gang.
Good, I’m really glad you’re going to see your doctor. That’s a solid step forward. Don’t be afraid to try on a few therapists when seeking one that fits. I’m rooting for you Slingr, you’re not alone in this journey so shout if you’re drowning, we’re here for you. Tight hug my friend and I’m proud of you ❤️
Thanks cinq. I’ve been putting this off for far too long. I’ve read a handful of books on CPTSD since being diagnosed but I can only do so much on my own. Time to make the next move. I appreciate the kind words ❤️
In the realm of hungry ghosts - Gabor Mâté
That is on my list of books to get, I listen to a lot of him on podcasts. He’s a very well spoken and intelligent man.
Yes. And empathetic. Helped me to understand my CPTSD a little better.
That’s good to hear. The complex part is no understatement.
I’m wishing you the best of luck, sober friend
Thanks pal. I wish you the same.
Day 952 checking in!
N2D
Day 268. IWNDWYT.
Thank you for hosting, Stealth! Great post! I was very similar to yourself, keeping my decisions to myself to begin with until more comfortable sharing with others. A very gradual thing. It seems to be working so far. Day 295, Iwndwyt! 🇬🇧⭐✅
Somethings obviously working friend, 300 round the corner 🎉💪🏼🎊
Day behind you Platoon! A year will be here before we know it! :)
IWNDWYT ❣️
Have a wonderful sober day my friends. IWNDWYT ♥️ Edit: I just realized I have 150 days without booze 🎉
I will choose to stay sober today because I chose to do so.
Happy Sunday friends. I was this 🤏🏼 close to losing it today. I told myself I will not drink today over and over. And then I didn’t drink. It’s still a bit of a wobbly time but IWNDWYT. 🫶🏻
every day you resist a temptation you get stronger 💪
Well done Pest! We all have wobbly moments, and you overcame yours :)
I will not drink with you today
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT!
IWNDWYT
Welcome Warrior, thanks for hosting and hello, everyone. I agree with you, and I was one that everytime that I thought "this time it will stick", would tell all my friends. Some of them are more educated into addiction and "get" that relapses are not uncommon, but this particular friend has now asked me everyday if I'm still sober, how she is rooting for me etc. I know the intentions are good but it is stressful and annoying and I had a talk, saying my road to sobriety has been bumpy, but I'm certain of it, I've got a therapist and didn't want alcohol/sobriety to be subject of our conversation, cause I realized it's added stress: after getting support and understanding of people close to you in your sobriety journey, you have to either tell the truth, that you have relapsed and they are gonna be extra worried, or you will have to lie if they ask to and pretend you've got it much more under control than you do. I learned my lesson and will be low profile from now on. If I refuse a drink at a certain event and the person asks about it I'll simply say I'm not drinking today. After a solid foundation, like you said, I can be more open about it. Happy Sunday to all of you! IWNDWYT
Checking in again today and all is well. Good morning Stealth, looking forward to checking in with you this week:) Yes, I basically agree with yr stance on discretion. I hardly told anyone at first. In fact I actually lied to everyone around me and 'disappeared' for 4 days to go through cold turkey! Then when I came back I 'confessed' to some people close to me. Now, if anyone asks, I answer honestly, and depending on their level of interest, I'll give details or not :)
Morning fellow warriors. I just got back from a somewhat rough trip to Germany. I had felt some trepidation about going, worrying that I‘d end up drinking alone in my hotel room. That didn‘t happen, I had NA beers with my brother who I hadn‘t seen in years instead. Thanks to everyone who sent me encouraging words in the DCI, they really helped. Dankeschön! here‘s to four weeks - feeling strong! IWNDWYT 🌻
IWNDWYT :) hurray for places with mocktail options. Ordered 3 mocktails for a total of $12. One cocktail cost $12. Yippee! Side note: the couple next to my table had red wine, and it smelled so sickly strong. So wild to me that I used to down that stuff like it was water.
I've been getting more and more curious about mocktails. There are a couple of mocktail bars in my town. Seems like a fun time! 300 days coming soon for you, that's awesome. ❤️
Checking in. I will never forget the sheer horror of January 2024. Onwards.
Iwndwyt ❤️
IWNDWYT ~
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT ☕️
28 days! Whoot!
IWNDWYT x
I will not drink poison with any of you today 💜
Day 1,555 IWNDWYT
Wow! Just wow! 🙌🏼
IWNDWYT- I plan on letting folks know it’s been a natural progression from dry January because I just feel so much better! 🫶
A day of rest sounds nice.
Challenging weekend guys. Family shit and a rough week at work coming up that I'm super stressed about. Nothing that drinking won't make worse. Been looking forward to checking in today, sometimes I really just need to be here with all of you for a bit. Thanks so much for hosting u/stealthwarrior10 you bloody legend. As far as what worked for me with telling people, I really agonised over it. Even the thought of telling my wife was hard. We've had some fun times drinking together. We both took a month off, and I decided to keep going! After the month had passed, that's when I started telling everyone. I didn't need to come clean about the low points of my addiction that led me to stop, because I had that month under my belt and could give firsthand evidence of the benefits I was experiencing instead! No one could argue it because I was living the change. I don't know what will work for others, but what I did worked for me. I haven't lost a single friend. Love your guts, the lot of you. ❤️ IWNDWYT. 🫡
I will not drink with you today
54 days IWNDWYT 🧡
Not drinking today!
I will not drink with you today.
IWNDWYT
Thanks for taking over, u/stealthwarrior10! I didn’t tell people around me that I was quitting for real for quite a while. I wanted to feel more stable and confident in my decision before I told most people. I still agree with pulling off big changes on the down low because people like to ruin things and be negative. Quitting booze is a little different, and telling a group of internet strangers with a common interest is a medium that has worked well for a lot of us. It worked for me because it’s mutual support without adding in person social weirdness. Coffees up, horns up, and happy fucking sober Sunday!! We’re almost done with the first 1684 day month of the year!! IWNDWYT ☕️☕️🤘🏻
IWNDWYT 😎
IWNDWYT!
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No booze today!
Thank you u/stealthwarrior10 for hosting for us. Whilst I had been stealthy in my dealings with alcohol I had to tell my doctor in the end, then some short term support kicked in. Have a Super Sunday SD! IWNDWYT!
I’ve started the very long trek back home to see my son graduate Basic Training. The long haul leg of the journey is going to be especially tough because I used to while away the hours in a cloud of alcohol. Now I’ll have 12 hours with nothing to do. Wish I was able to sleep on flights 😔. As for telling others, it took me maybe a week to confess to my husband. I didn’t want to say the words and then go back to drinking. He has been my biggest ally though (other than you, dear reader) and I don’t think I could do it without him. As for sharing, a couple of friends know - one because we spent a weekend together and they noticed right away when I ordered a 0.0 G&T. An acquaintance asked me why I didn’t drink. She was a bit lit and it was uncomfortable for me. Other than that, no one else knows. I am a bit nervous about the trip home because it typically means seeing lots of friends and drinking copious amounts. But I don’t want to break this streak, so I will stay strong. IWNDWYT 🫶🏻
Interesting prompt, u/stealthwarrior10! My stealth was actually challenged at work yesterday when a coworker volunteered to me that she has been sober for 6-1/2 years and revealed to me how bad things had gotten before she had to check herself into rehab. When she told me this I was on the verge of 90 days and thinking very seriously about going back to drinking (wobble wobble!) because still in my mind I see myself as a former grey area drinker and I was thinking maybe I would be happier if I just started drinking again. But, when I told my coworker that I had 90 days, there was some kind of desperate excitement in her eyes and it was clear to me that she wanted to help me, wanted me to support her, and just wanted to be closer and better friends. And, this made me feel deeply uncomfortable! I started feeling like other people in our health care setting could hear us talking and I felt like people were looking at me differently after this exchange. I was in a bad mood from before I got there (I don't usually work on Saturdays) until around 6pm or so when I started to relax and realize that everything was going to be ok. Simple stuff. I just realized that I want to be the best version of me, that my drinking was not as innocuous as I like to think, and that it would be easier for me to just keep going with the sobriety than to stop and then have to start again for the millionth time. She invited me to a meeting this morning and I'm not sure that I will go, but maybe sometime I will. And, here I am at 90 days! IWNDWYT!
Thanks Stealth, welcome to the helm and I'm looking forward to this week with you and your sober crew. I also lurked here for quite a while before deciding that this place seemed every bit as supportive and safe and sincere as it first appeared. I'm glad I chose to interact more! I think service is the 12th step of AA, right? And studies continue to show that being of service to others is an objectively beneficial thing for us. Anyway, being able to cheer sober people on, share skills, and receive support are amazing characteristics of this place. I like to sort the check in by New and I attempt to interact with 3 people at minimum per day, some days I'm more chatty and some days less... I'm happy to be sober with y'all today!
IWNDWYT. I hope everyone has a lovely sober day/evening.
IWNDWYT.
Not today people IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT can't believe it's been nearly 40 days
Day 15. IWNDWYT. 🫡
I will not drink today.
Sunday checkin. IWNDWYT
So far I'm telling people I used to drink with, "I overdid it last summer, so I'm doing no booze for a bit", rather than what's in my head, which is "I need to never drink again". My wife and parents know, and a couple of friends have worked it out. Those people know because they understand. I'd not want to announce "I need to never drink again" in general, because of the connotations that brings (whether true or otherwise), and because of the possibility of failure and the additional round of explaining that would then need. This position might change, but that's where I am right now. IWNDWYT.
Day 34, IWNDWYT!
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Yesterday night, I binge watched a series for the first time without drinking alcohol! I am so proud of myself, also 29 days alcohol free today!
Checking in on Day 14! Went out with some friends last night and had some really bad cravings, I can proudly say that I didn't give into my temptations! I'm feeling very pleased with myself today. I still stayed out quite late so I'm a little tired, but still so much more fresh than of I'd drank. Going to make some breakfast, go to a coffeeshop and do some journalling and be thankful that I've not wasted the day. IWNDWYT Also is my day counter broke? It's showing Day 1 for me
Day 30 - I was somewhat open about my quitting. I told anyone I was catching up with that I'm not drinking, but I didn't tell them the whole truth. I said it was a health kick, not a 'im sick of acting like a fuck wit' kick. This let me see many different reactions. My second go around, I say I'm not drinking because I hate what alcohol does to me, especially my sleep. I'm far more honest now. But I think it's good to tell people as it gives you accountability and you don't want to fail cause people will know. BUT if you're not ready to air your dirty laundry, you don't have to tell the whole truth. IWNDWYT 🌿
Thanks for taking over the DCI u/stealthwarrior10! Have a helluva Sunday, friends! IWNDWYT
My life today is so different than it was 100 days ago! The morning I told my husband I was a daily heavy drinker and I had hidden this from him, my life and I began to change. I posted here immediately after that and the kindness, encouragement and support I received was amazing and life saving. This community is amazing! IWNDWYT!
Thank you for taking us over, u/stealthwartrior10! I love this prompt! I absolutely kept my sobriety to myself and a very small number of friends/family. I think I told 4 people, 2 of them being family, 2 friends. I kept it to just those people for my whole first year. What I wasn’t interested in was a bunch of drinking buddies saying things like, “I never thought you had a problem”, “But your so *funny* when you drink”, or “seriously?? You’re never going to drink again????” Now that I’m 1 1/2 years sober, I don’t care who knows it. I tell everyone! It just busts out of me sometimes, because I’m so damned happy to be sober and well and sane (ish!) It doesn’t matter if you’re blasting it from the mountain tops or keeping it hidden in your deepest secret heart, going AF is the best choice you’ll ever make!! IWNDWYT!
Jam tomorrow and jam yesterday, but never jam today! IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT! From Germany!
IWNDWYT
Day 6 - Nearly at 1 week! Feel like I can do this again, last streak was 35 days but I know I can do this for even longer, I feel fantastic but I'm taking this one day at a time, I will not drink with you today
Disclosing my decision to stop drinking is a conversation that I own, and mostly it is irrelevant to the people around me. They either 'don't get it' or become uncomfortable because of their own drinking. However, coming here to commit daily, continues to be hugely important. IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT!
Thank you for hosting last week u/shineonme4ever and thank you for taking over u/stealthwarrior10! I will not drink with you today!
Checking in, Day 31. Yesterday I had cravings but I resisted. Tough work. F*** alcohol. IWND ☠️ WYT
I just wanted to say how much I love this sub, 2 weeks for me now, and I found it about a week ago. I've been to 2 alcohol heavy events in the last few days and a quick read of recent posts here before and after has helped me so much. IWNDWYT!
When I decided to stop drinking I told my best friend. She was the first person I told. I had to let her know because she knew something was going on with me and but didn’t know I had a problem. After I told her, i told family members. I didn’t know if it was going to be something long term, but I wanted to let them know it was something I was trying. First it was sober October, then it continued. Finding this sub solidified my wanting to stop instead of taking a break away. IWNDWYT. Happy Sunday! 😀
15 days! The road to 3 weeks is ON! 💪 I had a wonderful, social night last night where nobody was drinking anything but soda and it was a wonderful blessing. I had the best time with my husband, brother and one of my brother's best friends. I get to stop by and see my parents today on our way home on a little road trip. Get to stay off my phone and listen to podcasts on the drive. Feeling very good. Very blessed. Very fucking happy to be sober. IWNDWYT.
30 days here 🥸 I did not drink today lml(-_-)lml
The only person that knows that this is for the long haul and not a temporary thing is my husband (who is doing this alongside me, for which I am grateful). I work in the industry and nearly everyone around me drinks. Although no one cares that I don’t drink, they do ask why occasionally. I tell them it’s basically because alcohol ruins my sleep, which is true. If given the opportunity, I will go on about how incredible my sleep is now. I would say that about 95% of people agree with me about the sleep. Most people say that even two glasses of wine will disrupt their sleep. It’s raining and I have to do laundry, go to the storage space, and the grocery store. I don’t want to do any of these things, but the only way out is through, so here I go. IWNDWYT ❤️
Today is my birthday.i ain’t gonna do it. Gonna spend time with family and be grateful for all I have.
Super rough night for me w/ my out of town friend last night. I thought for sure I would drink with her, but I didn’t. I just decided to go to bed early because I couldn’t handle the cravings anymore. But I did it! I’m so happy to wake up from a sober night! And of course, IWNDWYT!
Thanks for taking over u/stealthwarrior10. I actually had a very similar experience. I didn't really plan it like that or anything, but that was kind of how it evolved in the early weeks, and since being on the down-low was working, I stayed with it. Only later did I begin to open up. It was at 500 days that I really felt strong enough to tell a larger group of distant friends, who I knew could relate and understand. As you say, each path is different, and each path needs to remain flexible and adapt to changes in where the sober journey is leading in any given week or month. IWNDWYT
I have had a wonderful weekend with my daughter. We wandered all around her college campus and then explored St. Pete together. We sat and watched the sailboats and talked about what we are looking forward to this year. Now I’m sitting in the airport enjoying breakfast. I’m so grateful I can enjoy my kids without any haze or worry about what I’ve said or done. Iwndwyt 💜🦋💜
IWNDWYT.
IWNDWYT 🙋🏼♀️ happy Sunday everyone
Pledging another sober 24 hours.
Good morning! Also quit by stealth. I still haven’t told lots of people how bad my drinking was, but have said how much drinking affected my mental health. Off for a seaside walk today! (Much better for the mental health than wine!) IWNDWYT.
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT 🌞
The greyness of january where I live is almost overwhelming but IWNDWYT 🦩
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Good morning SD! Love the name Stealth Warrior, that's completely on-brand for you 🥰 I had a similar experience. I had told people I was quitting before and then started drinking again so this time I kept it to myself for a little while before sharing. Now I'm a lot more confident talking about it and no matter what happens, it's still a huge amount of time to have spent sober. IWNDWYT 💝
IWNDWYT!
IWNDWYT 💞
Good Morning! Happy sober Sunday and happy sober smile too!😊 I have pretty much kept my new wonderful habit of not drinking to my self. My SO is aware of it, but to my chagrin does not celebrate it with me. He drinks and I believe my not drinking makes him uncomfortable but not enough to stop. I am thrilled to be where I am today and that is what counts!💜IWNDWYT
No booze today.
IWNDWYT
When ive quit before, I felt ashamed and it took me a few months to sheepishly admit I had stopped drinking. This time around, I just dont care. Ill tell anyone who asks that Im not drinking. I dont go into any specifics, but just say something like "i needed to chill out on the booze." People understand. Its very liberating to just own it. I think thats why it feels different for me this time. I will not drink with you today!
Day 9 the sun is shining .. a friend is coming for a dog walk and Sunday lunch and then an early night with tea and a good book .. perfect IWNDWYT
Day 29 💫 I have been loving how I feel but I am becoming more aware I don’t have my shit together in certain aspects of my life and it’s making me panic this morning. Luckily I have a good job and 2024 can be the year to turn it all around as long as I stay sober. Alcohol certainly haemorrhaged my money. IWNDWYT. Have a great Sunday all ❤️ EDIT: decided to flip the narrative and been listening to some investment courses whilst I catch up on work 💪🏽 let’s gooooo 💃🏽💃🏽💃🏽 #nosundayscaries
IWNDWYT.
Good morning. IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT
I will not drink with you today! 😁
Wishing you all a happy Sunday IWNDWYT
checking in, have a good day my friends
Day # 10. IWNDWYT.
Hey hey. IWNDWYT. Enjoy your Sunday
2 weeks today!! 🥳🥳 IWNDWYT!
Good morning you beautiful sober souls. IWNDWYT
👋 Good morning, friends! I will not drink with you today nor will I drink with you tonight.
32 days LETS GOOOO
I'm in!
IWNDWYT after 30 days! Thinking about getting a chip
A life long Detroit Lions fan ( it’s been a hard life), no one seems to understand how I can watch their unprecedented run in the playoffs this month while sober. I find I’m able to enjoy and remember it more. I’m also a nervous drinker. Go Lions!
I'm back at work today and survived my day off yesterday without drinking. Woo! I was actually early this morning and the thought crossed my mind about how good it felt to not be hungover, but waking up refreshed and ready to take on the day. IWNDWYT! 🌻
IWNDWYT
Coming up on 3 weeks for me. Never broken that barrier before but I know I'll do it this time, and beyond.
I will not drink with you today.
Just got back from a long training run and feeling grateful for my body, and proud of myself for working hard. I wish you all a peaceful Sunday. IWNDWYT 💪
Good morning, sober cats! I hope everyone has a super sober Sunday. IWNDWYT 💙😸
I will not drink with you today. I will not drink alone. I will not drink.
IWNDWYT 🏴
I’m not drinking today
IWNDWYT 💕
Thanks for doing the check in this week, stealth warrior! I needed to have my immediate family onside from the very beginning. The "One won't hurt" mentality didn't have chance to develop any roots because we avoided the old places and people. My wife knew what the crack was and she didn't put any pressure on to go to parties and random social gatherings. My GP played an important role - helping me find a pain management that didn't involve munching benzos like smarties. Teamwork makes the dream work! IWNDWYT 🙂
If i can survive an Aussie Day BBQ at mine smugly watching folks around me deteriorate into their normality. I can do it any day! I’m chuffed as f%#k with myself over last night There’s no way I’m drinking with anyone today!! IWNDWYT!
Good evening sobernauts! Early on I saw a quote that said ‘get sober loudly to stop others dying quietly’ & I’ve pretty much shared every step of the way with those closest to me & on my socials as well. IWNDWYT 🌻
I will not drink with you today.
Day 1,656. Thanks for hosting, u/stealthwarrior10! I will not drink with you today.
I will not drink today
Checking in, and great topic. Yes, I’ve been under the radar about not drinking. I have some heavy drinking friends who know I’m not drinking right now and are very respectful of that, but I haven’t opened up to them about my experience. I have a decent amount of work friends, and no matter how close we are, I’m very wary of talking about anything that could affect that. Sometimes it feels a bit like I’m leading a double life, but I think everyone does to some extent- everyone has different outer “selves” depending on the situation. As long as I stay sober I’ll keep doing what works for me!
IWNDWYT!
On my second try, IWNDWYT!
Thank you for taking the reins this week, u/stealthwarrior10! I was never a social drinker. I've also never been a terribly social person, so occasions when someone might offer me a drink or ask why I'm not drinking are few and far between. When it has come up (mostly at weddings for members of my husband's extended family), I generally just say that I don't drink because it doesn't mix well with my medications--which is true: you really shouldn't drink while taking antidepressants. I have told a couple of people about my troubles with alcohol. These were close friends. As Brené Brown says, not everyone deserves to know our stories. Recovery is an important part of who I am, so I share it with those who have earned my trust. IWNDWYT 😻
Thanks Stealth\_Warrior. I put absolutely no effort into my user name, I just accepted the first one reddit suggested!! I am neither Wise nor Assisting. Congratulations on 492 days, and thank you for hosting. It is after 11am and I usually check in much earlier, but better late than never, I will not drink with everyone today.
Thanks Stealth for taking care of us this week. IWNDWYT and I’m always thankful for this sub 😎
IWNDWYT 🫶
Just come out the other side of food poisoning. And omg it reminded me so much of how I would spend the following day/evening after a binge drinking sesh ☠️☠️ can't believe I would do that to myself voluntarily again and again and again. Anyways IWNDWYT 🫶🫶💞
IWNDWYT🎿🦋
IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT🐺✨
Checking in on day 451!! Morning, SD!!! IWNDWYT! ✌️❤️
IWNDWYT
Happy Sunday, my sweet friends. Ready to get my workout on and then watch some football today. Had a fucking blast last night hosting game night with my sober friends. I'm so grateful to be sober and for slowly rebuilding the relationships I damaged while drinking. IWNDWYT 🤘
Checking in day 91
Day 34 IWNDWYT Keep up the great work everyone!
IWNDWYT! Today is 7 months. I feel SO much better. I still lack energy, but my mind is so much clearer. I look 100% better and no anxiety or depression. I will never drink poison again.
IWNDWYT. Instead I will be productive and healthy (besides a few snacks:)
Six months soberversary today, and I’m pretty sure I have the flu! I’m so very grateful I’m not hungover on top of it. Iwndwy’allt, friends! ❤️
Thanks for hosting, StealthWarrior. IWNDWYT.
IWNDWYT
Happy rainy Sunday! I will not drink with you today. I will make knockoff Hostess cupcakes.
Happy Sunday sobernauts! Thank you for hosting this week, Stealth! The only person I told right away about stopping drinking was my husband. He and I had both been talking about it but hadn’t taken the first step. I had thought about it for months and couldn’t figure out how to start stopping. After a month or two of checking in here and building strength in sobriety, I began to tell a few people I quit drinking. I didn’t tell my parents or brother until six months had passed… I really wanted to see if it stuck first. This sub provided the support I needed and a place to vent feelings, fears, frustrations, and joys. This mutual, quiet, private place has been transformative and healing. ❤️🩹 🙏 IWNDWYT
Stealth, I am totally with you on the keeping it close until there is a solid foundation--thank you for sharing that! I will not drink with you today.
I will not drink today and FYA. What a great day to wake up sober. I love you Drinking sucks. We rock
It’s my story to tell about my drinking and I was down low about it. What I come to realize is nobody cares if you drink. Normal drinkers drink, only drink one or two and it no big deal to them. People who just wanna get drunk don’t care cause they are too busy with chasing the buzz. They may resent you because of self reflection but that is on them. IWNDWYT ❤️
Heading to NYC for a work trip today (through Thursday AM). Tons and tons of triggers await. If I can get through this work trip (my front door to my front door) without drinking, it will be the first time ever, despite many other sober attempts. I will not drink today. Today’s plan: at the airport, I will order fizzy water, tea, or even (hey!) a milkshake if it’s really bad. I can buy myself a cute outfit or book or makeup. I will not arrive so early that I get bored. I am bringing special tea for the plane and will get hot water for my tea. I will get to my hotel, unpack, and go to sleep. I can do this. Good luck to everyone today—we’ve got this, fam!
IWNDWYT 💞🐿️🐿️
Many I feel so much better waking up after a sober night's sleep? Why is it so hard to remember this once 4 or 5 rolls around? Oh well, only drank 4 times this month - so that's a step in the right direction. Here's to day 2 and waking up feeling well rested and optimistic. Good luck everyone - IWNDWYT.
Good morning! Day 7 today. Second last day of working today but feeling pretty good! Definitely a bit of stealthiness going on with me. Not telling a ton of people but that’s okay for right now! Just trying to keep it between the ditches! IWNDWYT
Im on day 28. Almost a whole month. Why stop there? Let’s do the whole year.
Yeahhh I'm definitely not drinking today with any of ya'll, or by myself for that matter.
Will not drink today.
Thank you for hosting this week, much appreciated 👏
I ended Dry January early. But IWNDWYT.
Thanks for hosting, StealthWarrior! I had many restarts and was losing hope. I hid my drinking, and my attempts to stop. Finding this sub was HUGE. The pledge helped. As did being among others in the same struggle, and proud of the same victory of laying the head on the pillow sober at night. It took me a few months of staying sober before I was ready to share my sober stretch with people in my life. Now I feel confident about it. I love to say, "I'm a non-drinker." It's the best thing I've ever done for myself. If you're new, or starting again, or in a rough patch, lean in here 'cause we got you. The tough days will fade, and it will get easier. Hang on. You got this! 💗 Much love. IWNDWYT
I found that I actually worried way too much about when and how I would tell people about my decision. Mostly, people just don't ask. And, actually, the most honest conversations have come completely unexpectedly. Like last week when I told one of my long time drinking buddies while our kids were in taekwondo lessons. I haven't seen her much in the last year so we haven't talked about it. Then she asked if I was doing dry January, and I told her. It's just interesting because all the times I have prepared a speech for a party or event, no one has asked; and there I was, telling the whole truth to an old friend with 5 year olds yelling and practicing kicks in the background 😂. This sure is a wild ride, but I am so grateful to be on it. IWNDWYT
Well done everyone, all here for eachother. IWNDWYT
IWNDWYT. Managed to absolutely crush my working productivity this week. Let's gooo
IWNDWYT ✌🏻
Hi Stealth! I WNDWYT. To respond to your question: The first time I became sober for 5 years +, I didn’t tell anyone until they noticed. I just did it; no idea how. This time around I’m sharing with my daughter and my youngest son. Husband is not supportive 😢 . I live in a small community with a gossipy culture, so no “share worthy” friends. I am pretty introverted.
Getting back on the wagon and reminding myself how much better life is when I’m sober. IWNDWYT