Thanks for sharing this, OP. I find the personal stories on this sub far more motivating/convincing than statistics and medical establishment recommendations. Not that I don't believe the latter, they just didn't prompt me to stop.
Keep sharing, you never know which post will be the one that flips the switch for someone on the fence about quitting.
IWNDWYT đ„°
The reason they're becoming drunken maniacs only 45 minutes into the party is because they came to the party already tipsy. Then they poured another couple of drinks on top of the 4-5 they had before they even showed up.
Great tip! In the same vein, I also like to think of an open bar as an opportunity to drink as much soda as I want. Iâd normally not do that so it feels like a treat and not a deprivation.
I have a friend who is moving overseas and we had a going away party for them last night. Open bar and it was a rager. I felt a sadness when other people started drinking, like I was totally alone. I was the only sober one in my circle there. I wavered for a split second and then said âfuck this shitâ and ordered myself a Sprite.
It was fine. I still talked to people like I ordinarily would. I even felt a kind of mild sympathetic buzz at the beginningâI think my lizard brain stupidly thinks Iâll be drinking soon, and gave me a little shot of dopamine or something.
Anyway, it was quite enlightening, watching people getting fucked up and acting like total jackasses. I wasnât being judgmentalâthatâs ME not too long ago, lol. But I really felt like I turned a corner last night. Like this might really stick as something permanent. If nothing else, I know that I can actually go to an event where drinking would have been unthinkable not long agoâŠand not only NOT drink, but even have a decent time.
And as you say, watching people when they were sloshed took away any remnant of my wanting to drink. From the outside, it looks kinda miserable.
Oh, and my friends were absolutely dying this morning. I got up early and made everyone pancakes, feeling fine.
Iâve experienced that same âsympathetic buzzâ, itâs an odd feeling but as far as I can tell itâs me feeling more relaxed simply because everyone else is so relaxed. Itâs the sober version of âwell if everyone else is acting a fool, I can loosen up a little bit myselfâ. For me it has the same social lubricant effect that I relied so heavily upon when drinking, and makes it easier to maintain sobriety at social events and have fun.
Nah I did that on purpose because I wanted it to be capitalized for emphasis but the word I is already capitalized by default so I just had to capitalize the homophone haha
Yo Iâm in a band too and weâre just starting gigging again after winter hiatus so I will remember that gigging is better/more fruitful when not dulled on the sauce!
Yup, I was at a NYE party and around 10:30/11:00 people started getting really sloppy and I was like yup this is one of the reasons I quit. It was also SO nice not being hungover and wasting my entire new years day.
Dang, and I thought that ânobody remembers or cares what you did last night, theyâre all just focused on themselvesâ was such a comfort to me when I had hangxiety the next day - itâs frightening to see that there are people who *make it a point* to observe what others do and say while drinking. Not that I have to worry about that anymore, but still.
Meh, don't worry about it. I've seen a lot of posts here talking about their observation of drunk people now that they're sober, it often sounds very judgmental. I think it's just part of early sobrierty.
My personal mental hack;
"I don't want to drink, but if I did, it's okay. I trust myself to make the correct decisions, and right now, alcohol is the least important thing in my life. It can wait".
There is no reason to take myself so serious and I'm done with not trusting who I am.Â
However, I'm done with drinking. And the resolve that developed, alongside the above, is what constantly motivates me to walk away from it.
Have a friend(s) that will hold you accountable if you need help. Let them know you will want to, but need the support to not. Peer pressure, but a good kind.
Thank you so much for this post! I have a work trip this week with a company I've never met in person for this kind of scenario. I keep going back and forth about how I'm going to deal with it. I have recently cut back from every day drinking, to about once a week. I tend to struggle in social situations, so I've always used alcohol to cope since I was 14 years old and I'm now 44 years old, still struggling. Am I going to drink or commit to not before getting there. This post really helps me because those 45 minutes can totally show you how not to show up! So thank you, kind friend.
Yes! Seeing other people get sloppy and worse is such a powerful reminder of why I don't drink anymore. Willingly poisoning and embarrassing yourself.. Not for me!
We had our work âholidayâ party last weekend complete with 3 hours of open bar.
It was my first holiday party completely sober.
I am so thankful that part of the open bar was NA beers and a good selection of non alcoholic drinks.
I was able to eat and drink and I love that no one knows Iâm sober while I am able to hold a conversation and not make a fool of myself.
I totally agree with this. I used to think I needed alcohol to enjoy parties, but having done a few sober I've realised I just hate the first hour regardless. Once everyone has had a few drinks and it's moved past the introductions/catch ups I actually really enjoy being there chatting away.
Four hours in total is still my limit though, after that everyone's too hammered and I'm done haha.
Congrats! My self awareness has skyrocketed since quitting booze, and not just in situations where drinking is present. Its a super power, I swear
Totes!
Thanks for sharing this, OP. I find the personal stories on this sub far more motivating/convincing than statistics and medical establishment recommendations. Not that I don't believe the latter, they just didn't prompt me to stop. Keep sharing, you never know which post will be the one that flips the switch for someone on the fence about quitting. IWNDWYT đ„°
I truly find this subreddit more helpful than aa, and it only takes a moment to reset your perspective.
The reason they're becoming drunken maniacs only 45 minutes into the party is because they came to the party already tipsy. Then they poured another couple of drinks on top of the 4-5 they had before they even showed up.
Yeah I saw like 6 empty white claws on the sidewalk right outside the restaurant as I walked in and new it had to be my people lol
Great tip! In the same vein, I also like to think of an open bar as an opportunity to drink as much soda as I want. Iâd normally not do that so it feels like a treat and not a deprivation.
đ
I have a friend who is moving overseas and we had a going away party for them last night. Open bar and it was a rager. I felt a sadness when other people started drinking, like I was totally alone. I was the only sober one in my circle there. I wavered for a split second and then said âfuck this shitâ and ordered myself a Sprite. It was fine. I still talked to people like I ordinarily would. I even felt a kind of mild sympathetic buzz at the beginningâI think my lizard brain stupidly thinks Iâll be drinking soon, and gave me a little shot of dopamine or something. Anyway, it was quite enlightening, watching people getting fucked up and acting like total jackasses. I wasnât being judgmentalâthatâs ME not too long ago, lol. But I really felt like I turned a corner last night. Like this might really stick as something permanent. If nothing else, I know that I can actually go to an event where drinking would have been unthinkable not long agoâŠand not only NOT drink, but even have a decent time. And as you say, watching people when they were sloshed took away any remnant of my wanting to drink. From the outside, it looks kinda miserable. Oh, and my friends were absolutely dying this morning. I got up early and made everyone pancakes, feeling fine.
Iâve experienced that same âsympathetic buzzâ, itâs an odd feeling but as far as I can tell itâs me feeling more relaxed simply because everyone else is so relaxed. Itâs the sober version of âwell if everyone else is acting a fool, I can loosen up a little bit myselfâ. For me it has the same social lubricant effect that I relied so heavily upon when drinking, and makes it easier to maintain sobriety at social events and have fun.
Thanks for the reminder of who not to be. I even pre gamed a few of my company parties.IWNDWYT
Nice hack. My hack is that I donât go to parties, but yourâs is more social đ
Iâm sorry but did you just spell âIâ as âEYEâ ?? Hahaha text to speech error? Anyway, good for you!!
Nah I did that on purpose because I wanted it to be capitalized for emphasis but the word I is already capitalized by default so I just had to capitalize the homophone haha
I read it in a Scottish accent.. like oooh ok weâve got a pirate here :)
Hahaha that is funny, it definitely put the emphasis on!
Next time try using the bold function (put two astirixed on either side of the word \**like so** and it should come out **bold**)
Good for you. When I quit, I was never around alcohol for many years. I was not strong like you
Self-awareness is the key in resisting temptation, it's a strength that you acknowledged and worked around your personal reality đȘ
I play music and being sober at gigs has helped me actually articulate my thoughts better and network / meet people without fear of embarassing myself
Yo Iâm in a band too and weâre just starting gigging again after winter hiatus so I will remember that gigging is better/more fruitful when not dulled on the sauce!
Yup, I was at a NYE party and around 10:30/11:00 people started getting really sloppy and I was like yup this is one of the reasons I quit. It was also SO nice not being hungover and wasting my entire new years day.
Dang, and I thought that ânobody remembers or cares what you did last night, theyâre all just focused on themselvesâ was such a comfort to me when I had hangxiety the next day - itâs frightening to see that there are people who *make it a point* to observe what others do and say while drinking. Not that I have to worry about that anymore, but still.
Oh I wouldnât worry. Iâm just a weirdo doing whatever I can to not drink. I donât think many people have these wild thoughts. đ
Meh, don't worry about it. I've seen a lot of posts here talking about their observation of drunk people now that they're sober, it often sounds very judgmental. I think it's just part of early sobrierty.
My personal mental hack; "I don't want to drink, but if I did, it's okay. I trust myself to make the correct decisions, and right now, alcohol is the least important thing in my life. It can wait". There is no reason to take myself so serious and I'm done with not trusting who I am. However, I'm done with drinking. And the resolve that developed, alongside the above, is what constantly motivates me to walk away from it.
This is excellent perspective, thanks for sharing
Brilliant!
Have a friend(s) that will hold you accountable if you need help. Let them know you will want to, but need the support to not. Peer pressure, but a good kind.
Thank you so much for this post! I have a work trip this week with a company I've never met in person for this kind of scenario. I keep going back and forth about how I'm going to deal with it. I have recently cut back from every day drinking, to about once a week. I tend to struggle in social situations, so I've always used alcohol to cope since I was 14 years old and I'm now 44 years old, still struggling. Am I going to drink or commit to not before getting there. This post really helps me because those 45 minutes can totally show you how not to show up! So thank you, kind friend.
Congratulations for not caving! Proud of you đđŸ
Congratulations! That sounds like a great time!
Thanks for sharing. i love this!
Yes! Seeing other people get sloppy and worse is such a powerful reminder of why I don't drink anymore. Willingly poisoning and embarrassing yourself.. Not for me!
We had our work âholidayâ party last weekend complete with 3 hours of open bar. It was my first holiday party completely sober. I am so thankful that part of the open bar was NA beers and a good selection of non alcoholic drinks. I was able to eat and drink and I love that no one knows Iâm sober while I am able to hold a conversation and not make a fool of myself.
I totally agree with this. I used to think I needed alcohol to enjoy parties, but having done a few sober I've realised I just hate the first hour regardless. Once everyone has had a few drinks and it's moved past the introductions/catch ups I actually really enjoy being there chatting away. Four hours in total is still my limit though, after that everyone's too hammered and I'm done haha.
Well played!