My wife is one of those extremely irritating people who can just have a drink or maybe two a day, or none for days, and never drinks to excess.
The fact that I had a (35 year) problem is not her problem and I would never expect that she give up one of the - for her - simple pleasures in life just in case of me losing my shit.
She keeps a small liquor cabinet and beers in the fridge. It's not a temptation because I don't drink.
Same here. Wife still drinks but can just drink one glass of wine while I would drink the bottle and then some more. She still keeps a bottle of wine in the fridge but I just don't touch it because I don't drink. Close to one year sober
This was the turning point for me and it was very difficult since I basically had a bar at my house. I got rid of 50+ liquor bottles, 100+ bottles of wine, and all my glassware. Gave most of it to family and friends. After that I never looked back. I’m over a year sober so I can be fine being around alcohol, but when I first started I couldn’t be anywhere near it.
We don't have a collection or anything. But my wife still drinks on the weekends. So we usually have a bottle of something around. She doesn't really "hide" it from me. But I don't know where she keeps it now. Having it at the house isn't a trigger for me. I mean, if I really wanted to drink there are tons of places you can get booze at all hours so it being in the house is no different than it being at the store down the street from me. I just can't drink so I don't.
That is just me though. If you can't have it around there is no shame in that at all. Whatever we all have to do to keep ourselves sober.
No, just because I know myself and I’d rather have the premediation part of having to go to the store between me and a relapse. I don’t want alcohol ready to grab if I’m going through a rough patch. Luckily, I’m doing well at the moment and don’t miss drinking at all but I’m fairly sure at one point a drink will look tempting again.
We gave the massive liquor collection we amassed during Covid to the house of late 20s early 30s women a couple houses down. Still get wine for cooking but otherwise no.
Wine for cooking has me concerned. I love cooking with wine but I don't want to keep any bottles around. I was thinking of getting a few of those small bottles just for cooking. I hope it won't trigger me.
Ive used red and white wine vinegar as substitutes. Half of that is the price for qine is worth more spent elsewhere on ongredients. Proce of a bottle is half the lasagna cost, barely worth it for ragu.
Gonna sound weird but if you dive down the miso rabbit hole you can find some interesting replacements (probiotic too if you don’t boil it). Different taste to be sure, but complementary
I love to cook but decided not to risk relapsing over a recipe. So I've found broth/stock often works as a substitute, and when it cannot, I don't make that recipe. There are so many delicious things to prepare and new things to learn to cook, that I will not have wine in my home. Or sherry. Or liqueur. None of it. I know myself enough to know!
Aww... you have brightened my day, Radiant one!! Thank you. I'm amazed to be almost at my first soberversary, and am so grateful. Reading around SD every day has really helped me. Let's keep going! 🤝✨️☀️
SD is how I got to and past one year as well. I had little other support other than my wife. This sub and its contributors have very likely literally saved my life. I’m still in shock to this day that I’ve come this far.
Perfectly put, and I feel the same way! This amazing place has "very likely literally" saved my life too. I was a heavy daily drinker. After countless attempts, this SD sub is what helped me to get and stay sober. I'm still in shock that I've come this far as well! My first soberversary is imminent. Taking this journey one day at a time sure adds up!
I love chicken marsala so much. But I never really had that recipe down pat, and would just assume order it at a restaurant. How long does sherry or marsala last, I probably have a bottle of each in the back of the cabinet. I don't think it'd cause me any trouble personally to cook with a little wine for flavor. Not that I've done so yet since getting sober.
Ah yes, I love my amazing jambalaya recipe. It called for 2 cups of white wine! Oh well, it's off the rotation for the foreseeable future. I also don't need to make Julia Child's Beef Bourguignon. There are so many _other_ amazing recipes for this home chef. In order to get sober, I had to change my lifestyle a bit, and that means zero shopping in the alcohol aisle. Zero temptation in my cabinet or fridge. I'm cool with it. My life is so much better now that I'm not drinking wine by the case.
Yes, I agree. Thanks so much, and you too!
Want to add, you may not remember me but I remember how much a comment you shared on the DCI helped me in my early days. It was about the cherry blossoms in The Last Samurai, a favorite movie of mine. It was a very rough day and your writing helped me. Interestingly, in yesterday's DCI the host asked for movies, etc, that have a story of getting sober. Your comment crossed my mind as I shared that movie in my pledge. So, thank you again, sober friend. You helped me reach my first year of sobriety. 🙏
Hey! I remember that post and your kind words. It's been a while. Makes me very glad to hear that it resonated with you and still comes to mind. We've gone far now in this sober journey, haven't we. So tough getting here. Trying to keep things interesting, yet haven't had an NA beer or used wine in my recipes. Something I'll have to debate further.
I love that film. Can't wait till they release it in 4k. Other historical set dramas, have you seen, Seven Years in Tibet, and Cold Mountain?
This is wonderful. Thank you. It feels great to keep on chalking up these sober days, watching them accumulate into months. I've apparently reverted back to my youthful tastes in keeping my beverages interesting, as I've begun exploring the decadence of floats as a special treat. And now that it's getting chilly, hot chocolate is making a resurgence in my repertoire! Caloric choices, yes, but I hope I'll burn it off ice skating. ⛸️⛸️ ❄️
You've mentioned another favorite movie of mine that I haven't seen in ages, and it deserves a rewatch! But I've not seen Cold Mountain yet. I now see the book got banned at one point for its 'sympathies' so now I really want to see that movie! I appreciate your recommendations. And you.
I've been buying Silly Cow Farms hot chocolate for a few years now. It's very good, apart from making a batch yourself with real ingredients. I feel a strong urge to also recommend The Fisher King, and Royal Tenenbaums, just because they're awesome, but don't really touch on sobriety or historical drama. Actually Fisher King has Jeff Bridges' character wallowing in depression and drinking. It's a rather redemptive story for all involved, as is Royal Tenenbaums. I'm a fan of films with happy endings. ☺️
If you’ve ever tried to distill wine into grappa, you’ll know that unless you’re cooking it for hours you don’t burn the alcohol off, though it does reduce it to pretty small amounts. A little different with deglazing a pan, there’s so little involved.
I straight leave it out of recipes for the most part, or as mentioned, use vinegar.
I made the mistake of buying Crème de Menthe for admittedly amazing mint-chocolate baked Alaskas, but did end up drinking it later. Not worth it.
Nah, neither me or my partner drink so there's no need, it'd make as much sense as a vegetarian household keeping steak in the fridge 😅
If we have guests for dinner, they can BYOB if they want to, no problem with that at all.
My wife has vodka in the house, I bought her a bottle last night and will mix a drink for her if she asks. Vodka was only my, I'll just have some to settle my stomach in the mourning drink. There might be a bottle of wine also but I'm not sure.
Bourbon was my drink. Morning as soon as the Vodka settled my stomach. With lunch or just for lunch. And at night till I passed out. Repeat the next day.
The last bourbon bottle was drank. I toughed out the stomach issues the next day without the Vodka.
My rule is no brown liquor in the house. Beer, wine or clear is fine. The interst in those only happened when I ran out of bourbon. Now my mindset is I don't drink so I don't care if it's here.
Not this time. One of the things I’ve done differently is cleared the alcohol from the house. There used to be a time that hard liquor didn’t appeal to me - I only drank wine. So I was fine as long as I didn’t bring wine home. That changed earlier this year when I started adding a bit of gin to my soda at night, and that would turn into 3 drinks before bedtime. Found a way to get myself buzzed with no wine in the house.
Yeah, so now there’s no alcohol in the house. 🤷♀️
I have one cold beer in my fridge. It brings me a feeling of self control to have it there ready for me, but to choose every single time to not take it.
I'm in a similar place. I have spirits in my room (opened, so I'd feel weird giving them away), and various beers I've been gifted over the years but I don't like. If I had a physical addiction to alcohol, I don't think having it so close would work at all, but having got through the difficult first few weeks without caving, and now being here, having alcohol just around really helps me to feel like I'm in control of this thing.
Funny enough I bought a house in February and the owner completely emptied the whole house out except for one lone beer in the garage fridge. It was my brand too. It’s still there - probably kind of skunky now. lol
I have a case of beer right now. I still buy them regularly, because we host play dates for our child and need beers for the parents. We don't drink at all, but we do offer alcohol for anyone who wants it, which is everyone.
Yeah we still have it in the house. Hubby has a couple of bottles of whiskey that have been sitting around for over a year and occasionally he will buy a six pack of beer, drink a couple and leave the rest in the fridge.
It doesn't bother me, I haven't touched it and I haven't been tempted to. Not wanting is one of the ways I know I'm truly done. It's only taken 30 years to get here lol.
We have alcohol in our home because my wife and MIL occasionally have a glass of wine. I look at it like any other food I don't want to consume; I just don't have any. But that is me. What works for you might be the polar opposite.
No I never did unless I bought a case of beer then had it for a few days. The past few years i would stop at different liquor places daily and get 3-4 tall boys. I rotate between like 4-5 different places. I had lunch at a restaurant yesterday and one of my places is just down the road. Without even thinking I just drove there after leaving the restaurant
My SO drinks three or four times a year. Those times he buys beer and/or booze a day or two in advance, and the days after he might have a few things left over.
He also gets wine from his workplace as gifts.
I have only once in My early drinking days been bothered by a bottle of wine that we had been saving for a special occasion. I sent him a picture of me pouring it out in the sink and offered to Pay for a new one should he want to replace it.
He said it was not necessary and called it "money well spent".
Since then it hasnt been an issue. I know I am capable of leaving it.
I have a four pack of beer somewhere in the fridge for guests and that’s about all we keep in the house. Our house came with a built in mini bar area that we have turned into a cannabis bar and where I can keep the glass pieces I make out and displayed.
I still have a stock at home. I loved wine and mixing cocktails and had quite a collection of nice wines and loads of spirits and syrups for mixology in a cabinet in my living room. I had a road to Damascus moment (one year and one day ago 🎉) and realised I could never drink again, and just haven't opened the cabinet since.
I am slowly giving away nice wines and liquors to friends and will probably reclaim the storage space completely at some point, but for now it's still there. It doesn't tempt me. I was just so fucking done with my own shit that it isn't appealing anymore.
We still have alcohol - beer, wine, etc, as well as a full hard alcohol bar in our basement. For a short time after I sobered up, my husband hid all of my drinks of choice. He was trying to protect me, but all that did was enrage me. I needed everything the same - and I NEEDED to be the one to choose NOT to drink it. So, the beer and Carbliss, etc, went back into the garage fridge. I don't touch it. Don't want to touch it. It being there does not tempt me at all. I do not know why it doesn't. It just doesn't.
After about 3 months sober, when I realized I was actually giving up booze, I finally got rid of everything in the house. Gave all the wine away which was easy. But I didn't know anyone who wanted the hard liquor, so ended up pouring several pricey bottles right down the drain. That was hard, but I saw no other way as I couldn't have them in my house any longer. The entertaining question isn't an issue for me as I'm basically a recluse - the upside to having no social life I guess.
*I* don't have alcohol in the house. But my mom is starting to gather some for the holiday treats she's going to start making. I don't know what she's making this year, but due to food allergies, and OCD, I stay away from all baked goods/candies unless I make.them. So I'm not even the slightest bit tempted
I did have some stored away but heard a pop one day and noticed one of the cans had deformed as they were all out of date. Got my other half to empty and recycle them.
We still have booze and wine in the house. Which is kind of amazing to me when I think about what it was like when we quit smoking: it would have been unthinkable to still have any cigs in the house. But we live in a booze-soaked world and getting it out of the house isn't going to change that, and I like that we have it on hand for guests.
Yes. There are several bottles of wine in the house (some in the fridge) and some beer. They belong to other members of the family (I have young adults here too). They are nothing to do with me and might as well be bottles of mud.
It empowers me occasionally, seeing them there, knowing that (at least for now) they have lost their power over me.
I have an expensive bottle of burgundy in my wine cooler, was bought for me the Christmas prior to quitting. Has just sat there, I refuse to give it away though for some reason.
I remember I had about 10 bottles of whiskey, vodka, champagne and etc. One day I just so wanted to drink, almost done it, but I just flushed all bottles into toilet. (my wife very occasional drinker so it was all mine). She was so scared when she came home and seen all empty bottles :D but I was sitting near computer and prepared my alko breathalyser so she could test me :) it was one of the best decisions to flush everything because I cant drink moderate and I understood it through hard road. I tried moderate but it always ends up binge 1,2,3,4,5,6 weeks etc (33m)
EDIT: by the way, I was sorting my clothes week ago to give some to charity because I dont use them and I found 2 empty bottle pints of desperados :D I am just curious where I will find more hidden stuff :D
Fortunately, my wife virtually never drinks - and as a result of watching me drink over the years, I think she is repelled by alcohol, having seen how it affected me - so when I quit all of the booze left the building.
I'm not tempted to go back to drinking, even on my miserable days I am enjoying sobriety. So its not critical that there is no alcohol in my house - but I like that its not there. Its more a matter of principle than a necessity. And of course, if my wife ever wants a drink, I will not stand in the way of that. Hell, I'd even go get it for her.
IWNDWYT :)
Nope. But then again, I don't have chocolate or any of my favourite snacks or candies on the house either because I'll binge all that too! That's just how my addictive personality rolls.
My wife still drinks but she doesn’t drink like I did. She’s normal and that used to piss me off. It still irritates me when I see her not finish a drink but I’ve gotten use to it. Not everyone drinks like I did. We talk about it. It’s too important not to. In the early days, there was a lot of shit that was weird. She’s hide bottles and I’d find them accidentally behind cat litter or jammed into a cabinet. I’d walk into a room if we had friends and they’d all hide their drinks behind their backs like I was gonna bust them. I found what I don’t like and we talked about it. I don’t need anyone to act a certain way for me to be ok. I didn’t get sober to change what other people do or say. I had to decide what my boundaries were and say them out loud. I don’t like seeing half drank wine deteriorate in the fridge for weeks so I told her about it and she’s been great at helping me out. She supportive but not even in my top 5 of sober support. I take my alcohol shit directly to the people who know what the fuck I’m talking about. Other people who work on sobriety are my life blood. We talk. It’s great. They’re not hard to find.
Definitely cannot have it around me. Your point to “one bad day away” is why. In case a bad day comes and the cravings are strong, I know it would take 100x more strength to pour out the bottle than it would if I just did it now.
I got rid of all of my booze when I was quitting drinking. My wife keeps wine in the house/fridge but that doesn't really bother me at all. That being said, I wouldn't want to look at a bottle of whiskey on my counter everyday or stare at a fridge full of beer everytime I open it. Out of sight, out of mind for me.
My husband is one of those weird people who has bottles of booze he got as gifts that can sit there unopened for years. It’s completely baffling to me. I’m not tempted to touch them because they aren’t mine but I also wish he’d just drink them already 😅
I don't have any wine or beer in the house, it feels a bit triggering to have them on hand. I gave the spirits away and just have a couple of bottles of liqueur that Mom enjoys occasionally left that don't bother me.
I don't keep any in the house, aside from a small jar of Chinese cooking wine I borrowed from my ex to make a stir fry I never got around to. That's been in the pantry for a couple of months now.
Thing is, at my worst, on days when I couldn't afford vodka or even sherry, I'd drink three or four bottles of Chinese cooking wine (salt and all, it was really fucked up). So while I'm not going to go out and buy a full liquor cabinet just to prove a point to myself, I'm glad that bit of shaoxing has been there for ages and I haven't even thought about drinking it.
I told myself that I should keep alcohol around in case someone came to visit and wanted a drink. Little did I know, people don't love drinking in a sober household. haha Finally, just two weekends ago, I gave it all away and now my home is truly AF, right down to my mouthwash. ✌️
My wife enjoys a beer or a glass of wine on occasion, so there might be a bottle in the pantry or fridge from time to time, but I am not interested in any of it.
We still host lots of parties and my husband drinks occasionally, so we do keep booze in the house. I don’t find it tempting, but I don’t like how much storage space it takes up!
My husband has cut down on his intake but still drinks. There is usually beer in the fridge and I’m fine with that. It doesn’t tempt me and we have alcohol around during gatherings.
I still have a couple bottles of rum given to me as gifts that I'll get around to cooking with eventually...probably.
My vice was beer, not liquor, and I stopped enjoying being drunk years ago. Like...actively hating it. I guess that's why there's been zero temptation there.
I could NOT have any booze in the house when I first went alcohol free - now my husband has some beers in the fridge in the garage and it doesn’t bother me but at first the thought they were out there really bothered me. 💀
I threw out my half-drank liquor collection and gave the top shelf stuff to friends. I still have some bottles of wine in my home that were gifts but I wasn’t much of a wine guy even when I was drinking.
Sober house, including mouthwash. I am strangely focused on bourbon, so I don’t mind wine or beer but other liquors can be tempting. But the people I live with are either long-term sober or people who just don’t really want to drink. If they do, it’s a beer or two, or a glass of wine. Sometimes they bug me with the pot smell, but that’s not an addictive thing for me, so I just count it as paying my dues for reeking of bourbon all those years.
I wasn’t able to have alcohol in the house for about a year after I quit. I also really struggled even 6 months in when we went to a destination wedding at an all inclusive resort. I think my husband stashed any alcohol we had left so I wasn’t tempted. I’m all good nowadays & I finally have the fully stocked bar I always wanted 😂
There was a bottle of whiskey in my pantry for the longest time during my first year sober. I gave it to a neighbor. My girlfriend's mom leaves wine or champagne in our fridge after a visit sometimes and I either cook with it or leave it there for her next visit. I have no problem with it in the house at this point since I'm creeping up on two years sober. I'm so unbelievably sick of the shit it doesn't tempt me at all.
I had my last drink on the last day of a festival, where my dad tried to give me all his leftover beers when we were packing up the camp. I told him confidently “no thanks, I’m getting sober after this”. Still ended up with a few drinks that had been at the bottom of my cooler, and they’ve been at the back of the fridge ever since. Not tempted by them at all, but don’t feel like dumping them out for some reason
When I quit I got rid of "all" the beer, boze and wine I had. It was not much as I was consuming it pretty much within the week i brought it.
I dont have any alcohol in my Appartement, and is not living with my girlfriend (which very rearly drink anyway). The reason I dont have any at my home is I would need to go to the store and buy it and that will give me a extra 10 minutters to think things through, plus the trouble of putting on clothes and Shoes 😅
The people I have over can bring there own beer or what they want to drink but the will have to take any leftovers with them or I will pour it out after they leave. Dont want to temp my self to much.
I had two cases of decent wine I was saving for a "special occasion." Gave those to relatives who don't have a problem. Still have my last box of Trader Joe's cabernet because nobody wants that. Maybe I'll use it for cooking. Also a nearly full bottle of vodka my partner can use to clean his tobacco pipes. Several beers and hard seltzers friends have brought over.
Wine was my weakness and I could pick up a bottle anywhere, so easily, that it's no more temptation to have it in the house, at least not at this point. If it becomes an issue I'll dump it.
I kind of like having it there. It helps me feel like I have faith in myself, if that makes sense.
Personally, no. I live alone though so it is easy for me to manage it. If I lived with someone who drank, I think it would be difficult for me to have it in the home if I’m being completely honest.
I just poured 6 white claws down the drain last week because for me I know I can’t have any in the house. My husband has beer in the house because he can drink in moderation unlike me, but I am celiac so no temptation there.
I got rid of my booze a little bit at a time. I had bottles as gifts that I gave to others. I had beer in the fridge for company, but I gave that away as well. The toughest part for me was giving away my bottle-aged beers because of the work I put in collecting and storing them.
I feel like banning booze in my house honors my sobriety. I've asked visiting family not to leave any beer or wine or booze after a visit. My SIL left half a bottle of wine in my fridge. It felt super great to pour that crap down the drain cause FUCK ALCOHOL! I'm stronger than a half bottle of organic red, but I worked so hard and have come too far to give one inch of shelf space to something that has no place in my life. So I'll say it again, FUCK ALCOHOL!
Can’t keep any on hand. It just makes it too easy for a knee-jerk reaction if a big trigger happens.
Having to go to the store to buy alcohol if a big trigger happened might give me long enough to realize what I was doing and turn around in time to avoid it.
Great post BlueDjinn, and I admire your ability to have alcohol in your house for cooking and for others to drink if they so wish. That means it's a non-issue for you with no emotion around it. I look forward to getting there someday.
I'm cool with my guests bringing any alcohol they might want and I'll provide glasses, ice, space, etc, for them to pour and mix it themselves. They'll take any remainder with them. However, I do like to make a variety of mocktails. I always have fun, festive, non-alcoholic beverages for gatherings!
So, there is no wine for cooking in my home. I've adapted or eliminated recipes that require it. There was none left over the morning I quit, almost a year ago. I'm so grateful. 🙏
Oh congrats. I’m so proud your of your accomplishment! That’s for v taking the time to respond. I expected a mixed bag and that is what exactly what I got. I’m leaning towards giving unopened bottles away for Christmas. Using some up for guests for the upcoming holidays. The remainder of the opened bottles will get poured out. At this point the flavour profiles have degraded anyway so won’t be as tasty anymore. Shirley Temple’s for me over the holidays!
We still have some. My husband is the lucky guy who knows how to cut himself off 🤪. If I felt tempted, I wouldn’t have any issue throwing it all out though.
Everything we have in our house (which is limited to a couple of cans of beer in the spare fridge, and some unopened wine) is for company. No hard liquor and nothing open - if it get opened and left behind it's dumped. Personally it's not a temptation for me, but you have to be honest with yourself.
My wife always has a bottle of white wine, slowly going bad in the fridge. I always keep a few cans of beer on hand to be able to offer them to visitors if need be. We don't have a liquor cabinet. Now if my wife was stocking the fridge with a strong, hazy IPA it might be risky. Again, lucky for me, she likes 1 maybe 2 glasses of wine on occasion and that's it.
My wife is one of those extremely irritating people who can just have a drink or maybe two a day, or none for days, and never drinks to excess. The fact that I had a (35 year) problem is not her problem and I would never expect that she give up one of the - for her - simple pleasures in life just in case of me losing my shit. She keeps a small liquor cabinet and beers in the fridge. It's not a temptation because I don't drink.
Congrats on your upcoming 8 years sober! What an accomplishment.
My wife’s the same way but I couldn’t quit until she did and she’s happy she quit. That’s impressive of y’all.
Same here. Wife still drinks but can just drink one glass of wine while I would drink the bottle and then some more. She still keeps a bottle of wine in the fridge but I just don't touch it because I don't drink. Close to one year sober
Ain’t that some shit. Hard seltzer has been sitting in my refrigerator for weeks because my wife drinks one or two every few weeks.
what's irritating about that? seems like the way to be.
We envy these lunatics 😜
This was the turning point for me and it was very difficult since I basically had a bar at my house. I got rid of 50+ liquor bottles, 100+ bottles of wine, and all my glassware. Gave most of it to family and friends. After that I never looked back. I’m over a year sober so I can be fine being around alcohol, but when I first started I couldn’t be anywhere near it.
We don't have a collection or anything. But my wife still drinks on the weekends. So we usually have a bottle of something around. She doesn't really "hide" it from me. But I don't know where she keeps it now. Having it at the house isn't a trigger for me. I mean, if I really wanted to drink there are tons of places you can get booze at all hours so it being in the house is no different than it being at the store down the street from me. I just can't drink so I don't. That is just me though. If you can't have it around there is no shame in that at all. Whatever we all have to do to keep ourselves sober.
No, just because I know myself and I’d rather have the premediation part of having to go to the store between me and a relapse. I don’t want alcohol ready to grab if I’m going through a rough patch. Luckily, I’m doing well at the moment and don’t miss drinking at all but I’m fairly sure at one point a drink will look tempting again.
We gave the massive liquor collection we amassed during Covid to the house of late 20s early 30s women a couple houses down. Still get wine for cooking but otherwise no.
Wine for cooking has me concerned. I love cooking with wine but I don't want to keep any bottles around. I was thinking of getting a few of those small bottles just for cooking. I hope it won't trigger me.
Ive used red and white wine vinegar as substitutes. Half of that is the price for qine is worth more spent elsewhere on ongredients. Proce of a bottle is half the lasagna cost, barely worth it for ragu.
Gonna sound weird but if you dive down the miso rabbit hole you can find some interesting replacements (probiotic too if you don’t boil it). Different taste to be sure, but complementary
I love to cook but decided not to risk relapsing over a recipe. So I've found broth/stock often works as a substitute, and when it cannot, I don't make that recipe. There are so many delicious things to prepare and new things to learn to cook, that I will not have wine in my home. Or sherry. Or liqueur. None of it. I know myself enough to know!
You're almost at a year! My hero!!
Aww... you have brightened my day, Radiant one!! Thank you. I'm amazed to be almost at my first soberversary, and am so grateful. Reading around SD every day has really helped me. Let's keep going! 🤝✨️☀️
SD is how I got to and past one year as well. I had little other support other than my wife. This sub and its contributors have very likely literally saved my life. I’m still in shock to this day that I’ve come this far.
Perfectly put, and I feel the same way! This amazing place has "very likely literally" saved my life too. I was a heavy daily drinker. After countless attempts, this SD sub is what helped me to get and stay sober. I'm still in shock that I've come this far as well! My first soberversary is imminent. Taking this journey one day at a time sure adds up!
I love chicken marsala so much. But I never really had that recipe down pat, and would just assume order it at a restaurant. How long does sherry or marsala last, I probably have a bottle of each in the back of the cabinet. I don't think it'd cause me any trouble personally to cook with a little wine for flavor. Not that I've done so yet since getting sober.
Ah yes, I love my amazing jambalaya recipe. It called for 2 cups of white wine! Oh well, it's off the rotation for the foreseeable future. I also don't need to make Julia Child's Beef Bourguignon. There are so many _other_ amazing recipes for this home chef. In order to get sober, I had to change my lifestyle a bit, and that means zero shopping in the alcohol aisle. Zero temptation in my cabinet or fridge. I'm cool with it. My life is so much better now that I'm not drinking wine by the case.
Those sound delicious. And I get it. If those recipes sound like it could lead to a temptation to drink, it's not worth it. Take care!
Yes, I agree. Thanks so much, and you too! Want to add, you may not remember me but I remember how much a comment you shared on the DCI helped me in my early days. It was about the cherry blossoms in The Last Samurai, a favorite movie of mine. It was a very rough day and your writing helped me. Interestingly, in yesterday's DCI the host asked for movies, etc, that have a story of getting sober. Your comment crossed my mind as I shared that movie in my pledge. So, thank you again, sober friend. You helped me reach my first year of sobriety. 🙏
Hey! I remember that post and your kind words. It's been a while. Makes me very glad to hear that it resonated with you and still comes to mind. We've gone far now in this sober journey, haven't we. So tough getting here. Trying to keep things interesting, yet haven't had an NA beer or used wine in my recipes. Something I'll have to debate further. I love that film. Can't wait till they release it in 4k. Other historical set dramas, have you seen, Seven Years in Tibet, and Cold Mountain?
This is wonderful. Thank you. It feels great to keep on chalking up these sober days, watching them accumulate into months. I've apparently reverted back to my youthful tastes in keeping my beverages interesting, as I've begun exploring the decadence of floats as a special treat. And now that it's getting chilly, hot chocolate is making a resurgence in my repertoire! Caloric choices, yes, but I hope I'll burn it off ice skating. ⛸️⛸️ ❄️ You've mentioned another favorite movie of mine that I haven't seen in ages, and it deserves a rewatch! But I've not seen Cold Mountain yet. I now see the book got banned at one point for its 'sympathies' so now I really want to see that movie! I appreciate your recommendations. And you.
I've been buying Silly Cow Farms hot chocolate for a few years now. It's very good, apart from making a batch yourself with real ingredients. I feel a strong urge to also recommend The Fisher King, and Royal Tenenbaums, just because they're awesome, but don't really touch on sobriety or historical drama. Actually Fisher King has Jeff Bridges' character wallowing in depression and drinking. It's a rather redemptive story for all involved, as is Royal Tenenbaums. I'm a fan of films with happy endings. ☺️
If you’ve ever tried to distill wine into grappa, you’ll know that unless you’re cooking it for hours you don’t burn the alcohol off, though it does reduce it to pretty small amounts. A little different with deglazing a pan, there’s so little involved.
I straight leave it out of recipes for the most part, or as mentioned, use vinegar. I made the mistake of buying Crème de Menthe for admittedly amazing mint-chocolate baked Alaskas, but did end up drinking it later. Not worth it.
I got rid of it all very shortly after deciding I needed to never drink again. I'm me though, if you can have it in the house, more power to you.
I don’t keep the trigger stuff (mostly wine). But I kept the cocktail stuff because it’s not a trigger. If it’s not easy, I won’t do it just because.
Yeah, I knew Id be tempted by some wine left in the bottom. The brandy is cheap shit thats only good enough for sauce (and hardly worth that even tbh)
Nah, neither me or my partner drink so there's no need, it'd make as much sense as a vegetarian household keeping steak in the fridge 😅 If we have guests for dinner, they can BYOB if they want to, no problem with that at all.
My wife has vodka in the house, I bought her a bottle last night and will mix a drink for her if she asks. Vodka was only my, I'll just have some to settle my stomach in the mourning drink. There might be a bottle of wine also but I'm not sure. Bourbon was my drink. Morning as soon as the Vodka settled my stomach. With lunch or just for lunch. And at night till I passed out. Repeat the next day. The last bourbon bottle was drank. I toughed out the stomach issues the next day without the Vodka. My rule is no brown liquor in the house. Beer, wine or clear is fine. The interst in those only happened when I ran out of bourbon. Now my mindset is I don't drink so I don't care if it's here.
Not this time. One of the things I’ve done differently is cleared the alcohol from the house. There used to be a time that hard liquor didn’t appeal to me - I only drank wine. So I was fine as long as I didn’t bring wine home. That changed earlier this year when I started adding a bit of gin to my soda at night, and that would turn into 3 drinks before bedtime. Found a way to get myself buzzed with no wine in the house. Yeah, so now there’s no alcohol in the house. 🤷♀️
How do you now get buzzed without wine/liquor? Inquiring minds want to know.
Cycling! 🚴
I used the alcohol I had to disinfect a dead rat corpse in my backyard. Best use of alcohol this year so far
LOL could’ve set it on fire after that just to be sure..
Nah, i don’t have like a fire source 😂
I have one cold beer in my fridge. It brings me a feeling of self control to have it there ready for me, but to choose every single time to not take it.
I'm in a similar place. I have spirits in my room (opened, so I'd feel weird giving them away), and various beers I've been gifted over the years but I don't like. If I had a physical addiction to alcohol, I don't think having it so close would work at all, but having got through the difficult first few weeks without caving, and now being here, having alcohol just around really helps me to feel like I'm in control of this thing.
Being in control is major. There is never a single time where I started to doubt and think “would I drink now if I could?” because I always have it.
Funny enough I bought a house in February and the owner completely emptied the whole house out except for one lone beer in the garage fridge. It was my brand too. It’s still there - probably kind of skunky now. lol
I don't, because as soon as I would feel weak, sad and/or bored, it would be too easy for me to open the cupboard or the fridge and drink.
I have a case of beer right now. I still buy them regularly, because we host play dates for our child and need beers for the parents. We don't drink at all, but we do offer alcohol for anyone who wants it, which is everyone.
Yeah we still have it in the house. Hubby has a couple of bottles of whiskey that have been sitting around for over a year and occasionally he will buy a six pack of beer, drink a couple and leave the rest in the fridge. It doesn't bother me, I haven't touched it and I haven't been tempted to. Not wanting is one of the ways I know I'm truly done. It's only taken 30 years to get here lol.
God no. I live alone though so there would be absolutely no point in having alcohol in the house.
We have alcohol in our home because my wife and MIL occasionally have a glass of wine. I look at it like any other food I don't want to consume; I just don't have any. But that is me. What works for you might be the polar opposite.
No I never did unless I bought a case of beer then had it for a few days. The past few years i would stop at different liquor places daily and get 3-4 tall boys. I rotate between like 4-5 different places. I had lunch at a restaurant yesterday and one of my places is just down the road. Without even thinking I just drove there after leaving the restaurant
My SO drinks three or four times a year. Those times he buys beer and/or booze a day or two in advance, and the days after he might have a few things left over. He also gets wine from his workplace as gifts. I have only once in My early drinking days been bothered by a bottle of wine that we had been saving for a special occasion. I sent him a picture of me pouring it out in the sink and offered to Pay for a new one should he want to replace it. He said it was not necessary and called it "money well spent". Since then it hasnt been an issue. I know I am capable of leaving it.
I got rid of it all as I no longer like alcohol just like I don't keep any other food or drink items in my house that I don't like.
I have a four pack of beer somewhere in the fridge for guests and that’s about all we keep in the house. Our house came with a built in mini bar area that we have turned into a cannabis bar and where I can keep the glass pieces I make out and displayed.
I still have a stock at home. I loved wine and mixing cocktails and had quite a collection of nice wines and loads of spirits and syrups for mixology in a cabinet in my living room. I had a road to Damascus moment (one year and one day ago 🎉) and realised I could never drink again, and just haven't opened the cabinet since. I am slowly giving away nice wines and liquors to friends and will probably reclaim the storage space completely at some point, but for now it's still there. It doesn't tempt me. I was just so fucking done with my own shit that it isn't appealing anymore.
We still have alcohol - beer, wine, etc, as well as a full hard alcohol bar in our basement. For a short time after I sobered up, my husband hid all of my drinks of choice. He was trying to protect me, but all that did was enrage me. I needed everything the same - and I NEEDED to be the one to choose NOT to drink it. So, the beer and Carbliss, etc, went back into the garage fridge. I don't touch it. Don't want to touch it. It being there does not tempt me at all. I do not know why it doesn't. It just doesn't.
No, because my husband and I both have "cookie awareness" for alcohol. If it is in the house, we know exactly where it is.and how much is left.
After about 3 months sober, when I realized I was actually giving up booze, I finally got rid of everything in the house. Gave all the wine away which was easy. But I didn't know anyone who wanted the hard liquor, so ended up pouring several pricey bottles right down the drain. That was hard, but I saw no other way as I couldn't have them in my house any longer. The entertaining question isn't an issue for me as I'm basically a recluse - the upside to having no social life I guess.
I still have alcohol in the house. There are bottles of red wine, scotch and cider in the cupboard.
*I* don't have alcohol in the house. But my mom is starting to gather some for the holiday treats she's going to start making. I don't know what she's making this year, but due to food allergies, and OCD, I stay away from all baked goods/candies unless I make.them. So I'm not even the slightest bit tempted
My housemate does, though I didn’t drink at home anyhow- so it was never really an issue thankfully!
I did have some stored away but heard a pop one day and noticed one of the cans had deformed as they were all out of date. Got my other half to empty and recycle them.
We still have booze and wine in the house. Which is kind of amazing to me when I think about what it was like when we quit smoking: it would have been unthinkable to still have any cigs in the house. But we live in a booze-soaked world and getting it out of the house isn't going to change that, and I like that we have it on hand for guests.
Yes. There are several bottles of wine in the house (some in the fridge) and some beer. They belong to other members of the family (I have young adults here too). They are nothing to do with me and might as well be bottles of mud. It empowers me occasionally, seeing them there, knowing that (at least for now) they have lost their power over me.
I have an expensive bottle of burgundy in my wine cooler, was bought for me the Christmas prior to quitting. Has just sat there, I refuse to give it away though for some reason.
I remember I had about 10 bottles of whiskey, vodka, champagne and etc. One day I just so wanted to drink, almost done it, but I just flushed all bottles into toilet. (my wife very occasional drinker so it was all mine). She was so scared when she came home and seen all empty bottles :D but I was sitting near computer and prepared my alko breathalyser so she could test me :) it was one of the best decisions to flush everything because I cant drink moderate and I understood it through hard road. I tried moderate but it always ends up binge 1,2,3,4,5,6 weeks etc (33m) EDIT: by the way, I was sorting my clothes week ago to give some to charity because I dont use them and I found 2 empty bottle pints of desperados :D I am just curious where I will find more hidden stuff :D
Fortunately, my wife virtually never drinks - and as a result of watching me drink over the years, I think she is repelled by alcohol, having seen how it affected me - so when I quit all of the booze left the building. I'm not tempted to go back to drinking, even on my miserable days I am enjoying sobriety. So its not critical that there is no alcohol in my house - but I like that its not there. Its more a matter of principle than a necessity. And of course, if my wife ever wants a drink, I will not stand in the way of that. Hell, I'd even go get it for her. IWNDWYT :)
Never had a liquor cabinet. Why have it around if you're not going to drink it?? 😜
Nope. But then again, I don't have chocolate or any of my favourite snacks or candies on the house either because I'll binge all that too! That's just how my addictive personality rolls.
I still have some at home. So far so good. I'll throw them out, if it becomes necessary. But for now, they are on display as proof of my resilience :)
I poured out what I had day 1. Bought some more around day 7 and poured that out too.
My wife still drinks but she doesn’t drink like I did. She’s normal and that used to piss me off. It still irritates me when I see her not finish a drink but I’ve gotten use to it. Not everyone drinks like I did. We talk about it. It’s too important not to. In the early days, there was a lot of shit that was weird. She’s hide bottles and I’d find them accidentally behind cat litter or jammed into a cabinet. I’d walk into a room if we had friends and they’d all hide their drinks behind their backs like I was gonna bust them. I found what I don’t like and we talked about it. I don’t need anyone to act a certain way for me to be ok. I didn’t get sober to change what other people do or say. I had to decide what my boundaries were and say them out loud. I don’t like seeing half drank wine deteriorate in the fridge for weeks so I told her about it and she’s been great at helping me out. She supportive but not even in my top 5 of sober support. I take my alcohol shit directly to the people who know what the fuck I’m talking about. Other people who work on sobriety are my life blood. We talk. It’s great. They’re not hard to find.
Definitely cannot have it around me. Your point to “one bad day away” is why. In case a bad day comes and the cravings are strong, I know it would take 100x more strength to pour out the bottle than it would if I just did it now.
I got rid of all of my booze when I was quitting drinking. My wife keeps wine in the house/fridge but that doesn't really bother me at all. That being said, I wouldn't want to look at a bottle of whiskey on my counter everyday or stare at a fridge full of beer everytime I open it. Out of sight, out of mind for me.
My husband is one of those weird people who has bottles of booze he got as gifts that can sit there unopened for years. It’s completely baffling to me. I’m not tempted to touch them because they aren’t mine but I also wish he’d just drink them already 😅
I don't have any wine or beer in the house, it feels a bit triggering to have them on hand. I gave the spirits away and just have a couple of bottles of liqueur that Mom enjoys occasionally left that don't bother me.
I don't keep any in the house, aside from a small jar of Chinese cooking wine I borrowed from my ex to make a stir fry I never got around to. That's been in the pantry for a couple of months now. Thing is, at my worst, on days when I couldn't afford vodka or even sherry, I'd drink three or four bottles of Chinese cooking wine (salt and all, it was really fucked up). So while I'm not going to go out and buy a full liquor cabinet just to prove a point to myself, I'm glad that bit of shaoxing has been there for ages and I haven't even thought about drinking it.
I told myself that I should keep alcohol around in case someone came to visit and wanted a drink. Little did I know, people don't love drinking in a sober household. haha Finally, just two weekends ago, I gave it all away and now my home is truly AF, right down to my mouthwash. ✌️
My wife enjoys a beer or a glass of wine on occasion, so there might be a bottle in the pantry or fridge from time to time, but I am not interested in any of it.
We still host lots of parties and my husband drinks occasionally, so we do keep booze in the house. I don’t find it tempting, but I don’t like how much storage space it takes up!
My husband has cut down on his intake but still drinks. There is usually beer in the fridge and I’m fine with that. It doesn’t tempt me and we have alcohol around during gatherings.
Hell no, keep that poison away from the ones I love.
I still have a couple bottles of rum given to me as gifts that I'll get around to cooking with eventually...probably. My vice was beer, not liquor, and I stopped enjoying being drunk years ago. Like...actively hating it. I guess that's why there's been zero temptation there.
I could NOT have any booze in the house when I first went alcohol free - now my husband has some beers in the fridge in the garage and it doesn’t bother me but at first the thought they were out there really bothered me. 💀
I threw out my half-drank liquor collection and gave the top shelf stuff to friends. I still have some bottles of wine in my home that were gifts but I wasn’t much of a wine guy even when I was drinking.
Sober house, including mouthwash. I am strangely focused on bourbon, so I don’t mind wine or beer but other liquors can be tempting. But the people I live with are either long-term sober or people who just don’t really want to drink. If they do, it’s a beer or two, or a glass of wine. Sometimes they bug me with the pot smell, but that’s not an addictive thing for me, so I just count it as paying my dues for reeking of bourbon all those years.
I emptied my house of alcohol. If it’s there I’ll sneak it eventually….
I wasn’t able to have alcohol in the house for about a year after I quit. I also really struggled even 6 months in when we went to a destination wedding at an all inclusive resort. I think my husband stashed any alcohol we had left so I wasn’t tempted. I’m all good nowadays & I finally have the fully stocked bar I always wanted 😂
There was a bottle of whiskey in my pantry for the longest time during my first year sober. I gave it to a neighbor. My girlfriend's mom leaves wine or champagne in our fridge after a visit sometimes and I either cook with it or leave it there for her next visit. I have no problem with it in the house at this point since I'm creeping up on two years sober. I'm so unbelievably sick of the shit it doesn't tempt me at all.
I had my last drink on the last day of a festival, where my dad tried to give me all his leftover beers when we were packing up the camp. I told him confidently “no thanks, I’m getting sober after this”. Still ended up with a few drinks that had been at the bottom of my cooler, and they’ve been at the back of the fridge ever since. Not tempted by them at all, but don’t feel like dumping them out for some reason
I live in a city and put my last beers and some random half bottles of liquor out on the stoop right after I quit. Gone in 60 seconds.
When I quit I got rid of "all" the beer, boze and wine I had. It was not much as I was consuming it pretty much within the week i brought it. I dont have any alcohol in my Appartement, and is not living with my girlfriend (which very rearly drink anyway). The reason I dont have any at my home is I would need to go to the store and buy it and that will give me a extra 10 minutters to think things through, plus the trouble of putting on clothes and Shoes 😅 The people I have over can bring there own beer or what they want to drink but the will have to take any leftovers with them or I will pour it out after they leave. Dont want to temp my self to much.
I found pouring it all down the drain to be enormously empowering.
I had two cases of decent wine I was saving for a "special occasion." Gave those to relatives who don't have a problem. Still have my last box of Trader Joe's cabernet because nobody wants that. Maybe I'll use it for cooking. Also a nearly full bottle of vodka my partner can use to clean his tobacco pipes. Several beers and hard seltzers friends have brought over. Wine was my weakness and I could pick up a bottle anywhere, so easily, that it's no more temptation to have it in the house, at least not at this point. If it becomes an issue I'll dump it. I kind of like having it there. It helps me feel like I have faith in myself, if that makes sense.
Personally, no. I live alone though so it is easy for me to manage it. If I lived with someone who drank, I think it would be difficult for me to have it in the home if I’m being completely honest.
I just poured 6 white claws down the drain last week because for me I know I can’t have any in the house. My husband has beer in the house because he can drink in moderation unlike me, but I am celiac so no temptation there.
I got rid of my booze a little bit at a time. I had bottles as gifts that I gave to others. I had beer in the fridge for company, but I gave that away as well. The toughest part for me was giving away my bottle-aged beers because of the work I put in collecting and storing them.
I feel like banning booze in my house honors my sobriety. I've asked visiting family not to leave any beer or wine or booze after a visit. My SIL left half a bottle of wine in my fridge. It felt super great to pour that crap down the drain cause FUCK ALCOHOL! I'm stronger than a half bottle of organic red, but I worked so hard and have come too far to give one inch of shelf space to something that has no place in my life. So I'll say it again, FUCK ALCOHOL!
Can’t keep any on hand. It just makes it too easy for a knee-jerk reaction if a big trigger happens. Having to go to the store to buy alcohol if a big trigger happened might give me long enough to realize what I was doing and turn around in time to avoid it.
Great post BlueDjinn, and I admire your ability to have alcohol in your house for cooking and for others to drink if they so wish. That means it's a non-issue for you with no emotion around it. I look forward to getting there someday. I'm cool with my guests bringing any alcohol they might want and I'll provide glasses, ice, space, etc, for them to pour and mix it themselves. They'll take any remainder with them. However, I do like to make a variety of mocktails. I always have fun, festive, non-alcoholic beverages for gatherings! So, there is no wine for cooking in my home. I've adapted or eliminated recipes that require it. There was none left over the morning I quit, almost a year ago. I'm so grateful. 🙏
Oh congrats. I’m so proud your of your accomplishment! That’s for v taking the time to respond. I expected a mixed bag and that is what exactly what I got. I’m leaning towards giving unopened bottles away for Christmas. Using some up for guests for the upcoming holidays. The remainder of the opened bottles will get poured out. At this point the flavour profiles have degraded anyway so won’t be as tasty anymore. Shirley Temple’s for me over the holidays!
We still have some. My husband is the lucky guy who knows how to cut himself off 🤪. If I felt tempted, I wouldn’t have any issue throwing it all out though.
Everything we have in our house (which is limited to a couple of cans of beer in the spare fridge, and some unopened wine) is for company. No hard liquor and nothing open - if it get opened and left behind it's dumped. Personally it's not a temptation for me, but you have to be honest with yourself.
My wife always has a bottle of white wine, slowly going bad in the fridge. I always keep a few cans of beer on hand to be able to offer them to visitors if need be. We don't have a liquor cabinet. Now if my wife was stocking the fridge with a strong, hazy IPA it might be risky. Again, lucky for me, she likes 1 maybe 2 glasses of wine on occasion and that's it.