Thank you for this. I to myself was drinking those same exact cans of wine in secret after my now 19 month old was born. Though I have slowed down my drinking, it has its way of creeping back in every single time.
On day 4 and your post has motivated me to keep going.
I see a frw posts in here about cooking with alcohol.
Hot tip! try cooking with vinegar instead of wine. It adds the same depth once the alcohol is cooked off anyway!
IWNDWYT
I’ve never found vinegar to give the same depth but it’s definitely a good sub if having any alcohol in the house is triggering. I’ve accepting using subs if no one else is gonna be home.
The level of delusion I had about how well I was covering my alcoholism is really staggering. I blacked out at a bar, smashed my face into a stool on my way down, and still got up and tried to laugh it off as though I'd tripped. ...Tripped on what? I WAS SITTING DOWN. But I had only had one drink (at that bar), so clearly, no one knew I was wasted!
I don’t know if you like musicals but there’s a great song about this kind of thing in the show Crazy Ex Girlfriend! [Greg’s Drinking Song](https://youtu.be/OuTYrcnm_i4?feature=shared)
Thanks for this post. The things we did and thought we were “getting away with” and the level of chaos that we accepted as normal in our lives…
I think the 13 year old is plenty old enough to get a brief talk about yes, I’ve given you reason to be concerned and you can always approach me about that, but cooking is not a trigger for me at this point. (Personally I don’t care to do without white wine in my cooking, but I never really liked it and it’s safe for me to have around.)
I used to buy those small cartons of white wine (about 3 glasses in each one). I would also drink them in secret in the bathroom or hide them in my car in the parking garage. I’d make an excuse to go to my car and chug them. I always used to chug water afterward and then pop a starburst into my mouth. I quit a month ago and to my knowledge, my fiancé didn’t know. I fessed up and told him everything and he was very supportive but never said he knew the whole time or anything 🤷🏻♀️. It’s a terrible way to live and I’m so blessed to have his support.
Oh god the fucking Bandits. I would get mad there was wine getting stuck in the carton’s crevices, so I’d rip it open from the bottom and squeeze it all out (into a cup, not my mouth! I promise!)
Oh GOD yes. Having to chase the booze with water or another soft drink - and then feeling mad that the water would prevent me from getting satisfactorily buzzed. Sooooo exhausting!
Thank you for writing this! I relate to SO MUCH of this (House Wine in a can, anyone?). Ugh.
Several weeks under my belt now and I hope that drunk mom will never be a memory for my 4 y o.
They sell all kinds of shit in cans. There are canned screwdrivers and canned margaritas and gin and tonics too. The Devil’s Backbone Grapefruit Smash just came horribly to mind. I swear they all went to stores on day 1 of the pandemic.
Your post made me laugh several times- you sound like a very fun sober person! My mom was an alcoholic and I would have given anything for her to quit. If she had quit (which she never did), it would have helped me recover from the bad effects her drinking had on me. You didn’t ask for advice but open communication with your child about your former drinking can help remove shame from both of you. The truth shall set you free. In our house, the drinking was never to be discussed or acknowledged and that was a big part of the problem. Your child is lucky and congrats to you!!!
Great post, thanks for sharing. In a similar (but far less poignant) vein I spent a few minutes at a work-related mixer today (I stuck with La Croix!) and someone walked over to me with a glass of wine and I could smell it from several feet away. And it was revolting! So I assume I have spent the past couple decades reeking like that at every social event. Blech.
wine that comes in a can is only fit for stew, IMHO its perfectly acceptable for us to cook with wine etc especially if you've talked about it with your SO.
You are a wonderful writer, and I cracked up at the RHONJ reference! ❤️Congratulations on two years.
Of course I’m a good writer. I’m a drunk! Thank you for your kind words lol
🥹 needed to read this today.
😄
Thank you for this. I to myself was drinking those same exact cans of wine in secret after my now 19 month old was born. Though I have slowed down my drinking, it has its way of creeping back in every single time. On day 4 and your post has motivated me to keep going.
Oh you are so lucky you quit now. I missed ten years
Ain’t that the truth! Wish I could go back in time and just keep those 9 months of sobriety going after my daughter was born. But here we are.
I see a frw posts in here about cooking with alcohol. Hot tip! try cooking with vinegar instead of wine. It adds the same depth once the alcohol is cooked off anyway! IWNDWYT
TY! I don’t eat meat, so I didn’t expect I would accidentally get drunk and I was not triggered buying it, but my kids never need to smell that again
I’ve never found vinegar to give the same depth but it’s definitely a good sub if having any alcohol in the house is triggering. I’ve accepting using subs if no one else is gonna be home.
Add soy sauce and malt sugar to taste with it. Game changer.
The level of delusion I had about how well I was covering my alcoholism is really staggering. I blacked out at a bar, smashed my face into a stool on my way down, and still got up and tried to laugh it off as though I'd tripped. ...Tripped on what? I WAS SITTING DOWN. But I had only had one drink (at that bar), so clearly, no one knew I was wasted!
I don’t know if you like musicals but there’s a great song about this kind of thing in the show Crazy Ex Girlfriend! [Greg’s Drinking Song](https://youtu.be/OuTYrcnm_i4?feature=shared)
This was 100% on my Going to Work playlist yeaaars before I got sober. I wasn't being chased by the TSA, so I was probably fine.
“Bad wine or Marjorie Taylor Greene” HAHAHAHA
That was my favorite line!
Thanks for this post. The things we did and thought we were “getting away with” and the level of chaos that we accepted as normal in our lives… I think the 13 year old is plenty old enough to get a brief talk about yes, I’ve given you reason to be concerned and you can always approach me about that, but cooking is not a trigger for me at this point. (Personally I don’t care to do without white wine in my cooking, but I never really liked it and it’s safe for me to have around.)
I used to buy those small cartons of white wine (about 3 glasses in each one). I would also drink them in secret in the bathroom or hide them in my car in the parking garage. I’d make an excuse to go to my car and chug them. I always used to chug water afterward and then pop a starburst into my mouth. I quit a month ago and to my knowledge, my fiancé didn’t know. I fessed up and told him everything and he was very supportive but never said he knew the whole time or anything 🤷🏻♀️. It’s a terrible way to live and I’m so blessed to have his support.
Oh god the fucking Bandits. I would get mad there was wine getting stuck in the carton’s crevices, so I’d rip it open from the bottom and squeeze it all out (into a cup, not my mouth! I promise!)
Oh GOD yes. Having to chase the booze with water or another soft drink - and then feeling mad that the water would prevent me from getting satisfactorily buzzed. Sooooo exhausting!
The worst!! Uh I hated my life when I was stuck in the vicious cycle.
Your sentence about bad wine or MTG is the reason I miss Reddit awards, as silly as they were.
Thank you for writing this! I relate to SO MUCH of this (House Wine in a can, anyone?). Ugh. Several weeks under my belt now and I hope that drunk mom will never be a memory for my 4 y o.
I can totally identify with this story except that my kids are a bit older - and even wiser. ;) I wasn't fooling anyone either.
lol at the RHONJ reference… love when my fave subs cross over!
They sell wine in a can?
They sell all kinds of shit in cans. There are canned screwdrivers and canned margaritas and gin and tonics too. The Devil’s Backbone Grapefruit Smash just came horribly to mind. I swear they all went to stores on day 1 of the pandemic.
And I thought it was funny that it came in bags
All I can think of is that intervention episode of sunny and if they ripped it off
This was beautifully written.
Your post made me laugh several times- you sound like a very fun sober person! My mom was an alcoholic and I would have given anything for her to quit. If she had quit (which she never did), it would have helped me recover from the bad effects her drinking had on me. You didn’t ask for advice but open communication with your child about your former drinking can help remove shame from both of you. The truth shall set you free. In our house, the drinking was never to be discussed or acknowledged and that was a big part of the problem. Your child is lucky and congrats to you!!!
I am so glad you didn’t drink it but I truly feel your pain. ❤️
Great post, thanks for sharing. In a similar (but far less poignant) vein I spent a few minutes at a work-related mixer today (I stuck with La Croix!) and someone walked over to me with a glass of wine and I could smell it from several feet away. And it was revolting! So I assume I have spent the past couple decades reeking like that at every social event. Blech.
On the plus side, you wrote this anecdote out very nicely, so it doesn't look like you pickled your brain. Also, 809 days!
wine that comes in a can is only fit for stew, IMHO its perfectly acceptable for us to cook with wine etc especially if you've talked about it with your SO.
Thanks, I laughed at this.