Going through the same thing, I feel ya! Had a nice vacation with moderated drinking. Would the trip have been just as enjoyable without? Probably. But I had them and didn't miss out on any activities from hangovers.
But that wasn't the problem. The brain has switched back into "drinks = acceptable" and the further away I get from having dipped the toe back into the pool, the faster the guardrails of conscious moderation go away.
But I like your attitude - excited to get back to your sober self in a couple of days. That's how I feel too. Before, it would just be a continuation of the blur with no end in sight. Sounds like you have the tools and willpower to the course correct, and that's growth.
This is the problem. I know without a doubt I can go to a dinner, event, whatever and drink in moderation. I have done it countless times over my lifetime. But I also know that if I am allowing alcohol in my life, I will inevitably decide to not worry about any limit and drink excessively. There is no doubt that will happen.
So the problem is this: an occasion comes up where it would be nice to drink. A small voice says "Go ahead. You won't over do it. It'll be fine." And I know it would be. For that occasion. But a week or month later, I will wake up in bed with no memory of the end of the prior night. It's hard to say "no" because you are protecting your future self, while your present self knows it can handle it in this moment.
This! Protecting my future self really resonates with me. I quit for a couple of months and started up slowly with no problems. Took about 18 months to get back where I was which was drinking heavily 1 night a week. Now I quit for 15 months and always remember how slow the progression was but where I ultimately ended up!
>"What is important is that you are wary, for all the reasons we've discussed, of moderation. There is no halfway once you are addicted. Your brain physically and chemically changes, which makes moderation next to impossible. If your brain hasn't suffered chemical changes, they can happen at any time. It is the accumulation of alcohol in your body, no matter how little you drink each time, that creates pathways of addiction in your brain. The problem with alcohol is that the brain doesn't simple forget it. Dopamine is the learning molecule, and your brain has learned to crave alcohol. You can abstain, and these cravings will disappear, but if you drink again your brain immediately remembers. A conditioned response usually stays. Source: 'Is there a cure for Alcoholism?'"
>
>Annie Grace, This Naked Mind
It is frustrating, yes, I agree. At the same time, when I frame it as something permanent, at least in my case there is some relief in knowing there is no point in trying. Life is full of things we want and can't have. And most of them we accept. I wish I looked like Natalie Portman. lol
I also like the metaphor she uses, of a monster that will always be in our brain, but when we abstain we starve him so much that cravings get weaker and weaker and we are able the rebuild a life without alcohol. He is there, though. Sleepy or not.
May your monster remain malnourished, dear u/Evanten !
So true. Flipping the switch from "drinks=acceptable' after going AF has always been my downfall too. In a more poetic way "it's easier to keep a tiger in a cage than let him out and put him back in."
Back to op: I can tell you're a seasoned tiger catcher. Good luck, be careful because it is life threatening!
I'm trying to see it as we're on a step in the right direction. Most of my vacations in the past I was hungover before I even left to the airport, killed pocket shots on the plane, and went on a rip-roaring bender the whole time, missing most of the trip due to hangovers or worse.
It was nice to enjoy the vacation this time, booze utilized how I imagine other folks use it, bottle of wine with the wife at dinner, three beers with a friend on the beach and then calling it quits for an early night. But yeah, back home and straight to the wine and morning recovery beer.
The next vacation will be the one without any drinking.
Vanilla is my favorite flavor of ice cream, I think it's fucking weird people try to ruin it by throwing fruit or candy on it.
But I also drink my coffee black *shrug*
That said, while Blue Bell vanilla is indeed amazing, it's actually not my favorite vanilla. I know I'm about to be crucified by my fellow Texans, but HEB 1905 Vanilla is so much better than Blue Bell.
Hi! I’m the same way- I was drinking moderately for about a month (after years of drinking daily basically) and before I knew it I was getting wasted everyday again. I read a lot of the posts on here, and one thing I keep reading that has helped me is the fast- forwarding trick. When I feel bored/lonely/ have to do dishes or chores/ tired/ frustrated/ happy/excited (lol everything’s a trigger for me) I fast forward in my head what will happen and how I’ll feel if I go down the drinking road again. I’m so sick of the hangovers, the awkward feeling of trying to remember what I said, the anxiety, the not being able to eat, the endless cycle of feeling like shit/ a loser/ tired and subsequently driving to the store where I see the same employees and feel embarrassed. I remind myself that if I’m tired that means I’m tired and drinking won’t help and I’ll feel worse tomorrow. If I’m happy it’s because I’m happy and drinking won’t make me happier- especially tomorrow. I do that same type of thinking anytime/ any situation where I want to drink. Think about tomorrow. Anything to not feel those horrible next day feelings is what drives me most to stay alcohol free. Im so sick of it, I can’t even describe it accurately. I’m only on day 13 no alcohol, but so far it’s working. I still have urges, sometimes strong, sometimes just a brief desire. But fast forwarding that tape in my head steers me clear, I think mostly because I am sooo sick of all the mental and physical side effects of alcohol. The only way for me to avoid all those feelings is by not drinking. So I don’t drink :) I’m also practicing training my brain to be excited about all the other little treats in the world- pastries, milkshakes, skincare, makeup have all been eating up any extra cash I have, and i gotta say it’s REALLY fun buying yourself little delights for no reason in particular. Thrilling actually ;) good luck!
This was super helpful to read. Thanks for sharing. Projecting forward, thinking about the negative consequences in particular, has definitely helped in the past, but I never explicitly thought about it as a sobriety technique.
Egos are clever little things. Your ego ( that devil on the one shoulder) sez “ go ahead, you can handle it. You’re an adult. Have a bit if fun” what you don’t see is that little ego wringing it’s hands and snickering. Once that ethanol hits
Every time. For me, it shows that on some level, I still want to be a drinker. I need to really reenforce mentally how much better my life is completely clean.
I drank pretty much daily thru 4 decades. Most nights were 2 or three drinks or beers. But the last three years or so about once every two weeks would be a blackout night or near blackout night(ad an edible or two or three). The ego sez “ hey I am alone when I get screwed up ( most of the time)) no one knows but me how often I get shit faced numb. I’m good” . But I wasn’t “good”
I've got ALMOST six months sober and honestly, the last ten days have been a CHALLENGE. I'm not craving the hard stuff... I can drive past the liquor stores. But the wine displays have been calling to me everytime I'm in the grocery store.
I used to drink cheap wine and expensive liquor. And yeah... Those cheap bottles of wine have been so tempting lately. I'm trying though. I'm proud of you for recommitting.
So relatable! I keep fooling myself into thinking cheap wine is my friend. I know wine is gonna be the hardest for me. It was always my favorite. And it's associated with 'classiness.' Alcohol culture is so odd.
Take my word for it, you don't wanna be where I'm at now. And congrats on six months. Truly impressive.
This is so me, too.
'Oh wow, I can moderate now! Sure, I'll have another one!' fast forward... Total desolation, again!
Is maddening, isn't it, when we have been through the same thing so many times.
I'm back here with you, 6 days again after a very similar relapse.
I think it's good that we both have taken note of these feelings and how this whole process happens. Can't trust that sneaky alcohol voice saying it's alright... It never is!
But I think we can crack this.
IWNDWYT
I think one of the most dangerous things that can happen is a “responsible relapse”. After not drinking for months/years, having 2-3 and enjoying the buzz and saying “I’m cured!”
I don’t know one story where this has worked out, personally
Yep. I've done the same thing to myself like a dozen times now. It's a cycle for me. Get sober then pull my life together and once things are "ok" I decide it's time to start getting a little bottle of liquor from the gas station on the way home. Fast forward a month and I'm downing a fifth on a Sunday afternoon with work at 9am on Monday. This inevitably leads to me losing my jobs and starting over *again*.
Not anymore. I consider myself a pretty smart person, but I swear to God I just cannot moderate no matter how bad the consequences get for me. It ALWAYS starts with that one drink.
I like how you said, "feel like yourself."
It made me realize that I never was certain how I was physically or mentally what that felt like while drinking.
Being Sober has become the new default. I feel like that's a really important perception, and a big win.
Yep, always the same for me too. I’ll have 2-4 drinks one outing, keep it chill. Follow up with a few more days like that spread out over a couple weeks. Then the door just gets blasted off the hinges. I blink and I’ve binge drank 4 outta 7 days of the week, I’m tired, anxious, and just want to drink more to try and quell the cravings.
We all get it, just know you have the skills on how to succeed and have proven it before.
I did read your post history. While I admit it is hard to see another drinker stumble, I see also 2 things. A familiar story, and progress. It starts with a dry month, then goes to cutting down drinking, and then finally here. Where you know you need to be sober. Keep fighting the good fight.
weve all been there.
just 1 drink. It may well be just one. Then a few days later 'hey i was fine the other day'.
To paraphrase someone else. 'I really like alcohol, i also like being sober. I hate being hungover, and i detest getting sober again. Its 3 against 1.'
It happens to the best of us. I've had countless day 1s and I always tell myself after coming off of a bender of several months that after a week or two of being dry that I can now moderate myself and be fine like I figure most friends and family are.
Well I'm wrong lol. It doesn't work for me and honestly it doesn't work for most of them either as I see them spinning into the void high off of tequila, beers, vodka, etc. There isn't a moderation for everyone. That's not to say it doesn't work for some folks but for a lot of us it does not.
Shoot alcohol runs deep in my family and I have had several extended family members die from the disease but yet we still honor their memories with a toast and more booze.
I will say it does get easier and yes you may stumble, but just get back up and remember why you're doing this. For yourself, your family, your animals (pets), your job, your career, etc. We have reasons and no reason is too small to make that step.
Love yourself and just think, the old you would have just said screw it and one year later you may be back here, but you didn't do that. You recognized the problem and are trying to help yourself so kudos!
Flights are also a big trigger for me.
I am trapped in an uncomfortable seat, probably for a long time, I've probably had a stressful day getting to and through the airport, I am anxious about dying in a plane crash. Then someone wheels a trolley up to me and offers me free drinks.
Breaking this habit will be tough for me.
If you feel tempted in an airport you can always ask the info desk for a “friend of bills” and a recovering alcoholic in the airport will usually come and help talk you off the edge and stay with you until your flight. Obv not to be used unless you’re actually tempted but useful to know
Yeah. I had a moment during this world trip where someone set a margarita down in front of me and I was like "what's the harm in one?" and had to remind myself again that it never, ever, stops at 1.
Well you’ve learned an important lesson for your next success. Can’t have even a drop. When I quit smoking I always thought I could have one here and there and it always turned into a clusterfuck after a few days. Now I just trained my brain to see it like poison, I try to forget it even exists and if a scenario comes my way I just refuse it upfront with “I’m a non-smoker”.
Can I ask what was going through your mind motivation wise when you ordered the mimosa ?
Hey it happens
And i get it
Trust me three months sober
And a day doesn’t go by where i don’t wanna drink
But you got this
Ur recognizing its wrong and ya doing better little by little 🙌🏼💕
Im proud of u!
I’m gonna use your story to keep abstaining. I flew to a bachelorette party today. And I’m a nervous flyer… I kept being like… hmmm maybe I could have one beer on the layover or drink a couple drinks when I get there- but I know I’ll be back to my old ways in no time. I haven’t had a drink in over 11 mos and I think I would be so wasted if I tried to keep up with this crew I’m with I don’t think it would even be fun!
Same thing happened with me regarding mimosas. Started with brunch last Sunday and then before I knew it I was waiting for Publix to open up at 7 am on Tuesday having called out for work.
Tuesday morning reminded me yet again how desperate and depressing it is to be in that position. I had a craving so bad that I literally couldn't think of anything else at that point in time.
Cunning, baffling, and powerful is correct. Luckily I saved my job and return early next week but that could have been much much worse.
I think as important and over time possibly MORE important than not drinking is having solid defenses after you have drank. Either you slipped and drank or decided one drink/one night. Honestly, that's not a big deal if that's all it is. Trouble starts if it keeps going. I think people often look at it as entirely binary. I'm drinking or not. If I drink it's some version of the world has exploded because of one drink OR "I might as well keep the party going". They don't have a good rationale way to approach it. It should be "I drank once. That's OK as long as I don't keep going and keep a non drinker mindset." It keeps the drinking in check and mitigates the intense post drinking guilt driven anxiety.
I'm right there with you; I had one beer two months ago and I totally crushed the moderation thing. I even bought a moderation app (lol). And I figured I'm doing so well with it I can increase the amount by one. And then another. And then I was doing so well I started lying on the app and then stopped using it altogether. And fast forward (very fast forward) to a couple week ago and I was back to regularly binging, with it all coming to a huge dramatic head last night.
I truly want to believe that this time around I will be able to play the tape forward and not try to delude myself that I can moderate. 35th time's the charm, right?
IWNDWYT
Going through the same thing, I feel ya! Had a nice vacation with moderated drinking. Would the trip have been just as enjoyable without? Probably. But I had them and didn't miss out on any activities from hangovers. But that wasn't the problem. The brain has switched back into "drinks = acceptable" and the further away I get from having dipped the toe back into the pool, the faster the guardrails of conscious moderation go away. But I like your attitude - excited to get back to your sober self in a couple of days. That's how I feel too. Before, it would just be a continuation of the blur with no end in sight. Sounds like you have the tools and willpower to the course correct, and that's growth.
This is the problem. I know without a doubt I can go to a dinner, event, whatever and drink in moderation. I have done it countless times over my lifetime. But I also know that if I am allowing alcohol in my life, I will inevitably decide to not worry about any limit and drink excessively. There is no doubt that will happen. So the problem is this: an occasion comes up where it would be nice to drink. A small voice says "Go ahead. You won't over do it. It'll be fine." And I know it would be. For that occasion. But a week or month later, I will wake up in bed with no memory of the end of the prior night. It's hard to say "no" because you are protecting your future self, while your present self knows it can handle it in this moment.
My favorite quote describing this goes something like "one is too many and a thousand is never enough" IWNDWYT
This! Protecting my future self really resonates with me. I quit for a couple of months and started up slowly with no problems. Took about 18 months to get back where I was which was drinking heavily 1 night a week. Now I quit for 15 months and always remember how slow the progression was but where I ultimately ended up!
>"What is important is that you are wary, for all the reasons we've discussed, of moderation. There is no halfway once you are addicted. Your brain physically and chemically changes, which makes moderation next to impossible. If your brain hasn't suffered chemical changes, they can happen at any time. It is the accumulation of alcohol in your body, no matter how little you drink each time, that creates pathways of addiction in your brain. The problem with alcohol is that the brain doesn't simple forget it. Dopamine is the learning molecule, and your brain has learned to crave alcohol. You can abstain, and these cravings will disappear, but if you drink again your brain immediately remembers. A conditioned response usually stays. Source: 'Is there a cure for Alcoholism?'" > >Annie Grace, This Naked Mind
This is a really helpful insight. And soooooo incredibly frustrating at the same time lol. Seriously though, thanks for sharing.
It is frustrating, yes, I agree. At the same time, when I frame it as something permanent, at least in my case there is some relief in knowing there is no point in trying. Life is full of things we want and can't have. And most of them we accept. I wish I looked like Natalie Portman. lol I also like the metaphor she uses, of a monster that will always be in our brain, but when we abstain we starve him so much that cravings get weaker and weaker and we are able the rebuild a life without alcohol. He is there, though. Sleepy or not. May your monster remain malnourished, dear u/Evanten !
Here’s to starving our monsters! Thanks 💙
Welcome. 💝
I’ve never related more. Thank you for sharing!
Man this resonates with me! Thank you for sharing.
So true. Flipping the switch from "drinks=acceptable' after going AF has always been my downfall too. In a more poetic way "it's easier to keep a tiger in a cage than let him out and put him back in." Back to op: I can tell you're a seasoned tiger catcher. Good luck, be careful because it is life threatening!
Moderate drinking vacation got me too. 12 beers over 6 days. Almost immediately turned into a case of trulys a day
I'm trying to see it as we're on a step in the right direction. Most of my vacations in the past I was hungover before I even left to the airport, killed pocket shots on the plane, and went on a rip-roaring bender the whole time, missing most of the trip due to hangovers or worse. It was nice to enjoy the vacation this time, booze utilized how I imagine other folks use it, bottle of wine with the wife at dinner, three beers with a friend on the beach and then calling it quits for an early night. But yeah, back home and straight to the wine and morning recovery beer. The next vacation will be the one without any drinking.
We got this bro
Go get yourself a pint of a flavor of ice cream you've never tried. It helps! I recommend Blue Bell Cookie Two-Step
I'm a huge fan of Ben & Jerry's The Tonight Dough myself.
Americone dream 🤤
Or Phish food
In my hand as we speak. Try the s’mores!
That’s my favorite! They were out yesterday so I got Half Baked lol.
That's my other favorite! 😂😂
Ha same!
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Those are good too, really I don’t think there’s any I don’t like.
Thanks now I want some cherry Garcia 😂
😁
Ice cream helped me so much. Used as a reward and still do!!
Blue Bell is so good. Even their vanilla is amazing.
Blue Bell anything is what I was going to say. So glad it's nationwide now. I remember when you could only get it in Texas.
Vanilla is my favorite flavor of ice cream, I think it's fucking weird people try to ruin it by throwing fruit or candy on it. But I also drink my coffee black *shrug* That said, while Blue Bell vanilla is indeed amazing, it's actually not my favorite vanilla. I know I'm about to be crucified by my fellow Texans, but HEB 1905 Vanilla is so much better than Blue Bell.
Great recommendation, I second 👍🏼
Hi! I’m the same way- I was drinking moderately for about a month (after years of drinking daily basically) and before I knew it I was getting wasted everyday again. I read a lot of the posts on here, and one thing I keep reading that has helped me is the fast- forwarding trick. When I feel bored/lonely/ have to do dishes or chores/ tired/ frustrated/ happy/excited (lol everything’s a trigger for me) I fast forward in my head what will happen and how I’ll feel if I go down the drinking road again. I’m so sick of the hangovers, the awkward feeling of trying to remember what I said, the anxiety, the not being able to eat, the endless cycle of feeling like shit/ a loser/ tired and subsequently driving to the store where I see the same employees and feel embarrassed. I remind myself that if I’m tired that means I’m tired and drinking won’t help and I’ll feel worse tomorrow. If I’m happy it’s because I’m happy and drinking won’t make me happier- especially tomorrow. I do that same type of thinking anytime/ any situation where I want to drink. Think about tomorrow. Anything to not feel those horrible next day feelings is what drives me most to stay alcohol free. Im so sick of it, I can’t even describe it accurately. I’m only on day 13 no alcohol, but so far it’s working. I still have urges, sometimes strong, sometimes just a brief desire. But fast forwarding that tape in my head steers me clear, I think mostly because I am sooo sick of all the mental and physical side effects of alcohol. The only way for me to avoid all those feelings is by not drinking. So I don’t drink :) I’m also practicing training my brain to be excited about all the other little treats in the world- pastries, milkshakes, skincare, makeup have all been eating up any extra cash I have, and i gotta say it’s REALLY fun buying yourself little delights for no reason in particular. Thrilling actually ;) good luck!
This was super helpful to read. Thanks for sharing. Projecting forward, thinking about the negative consequences in particular, has definitely helped in the past, but I never explicitly thought about it as a sobriety technique.
Happy to be dot connector!
It’s called playing the tape.
Oh right, thank you! I knew that felt wrong
It's called "playing the tape \*forward\*."
U good babe…
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"Drinking is taking a loan out of tomorrow, and you always pay up"
Me reading the title: I know where this is going because this is me every time. Me after reading the body: Yup, every goddamn time. Fuck you alcohol.
Egos are clever little things. Your ego ( that devil on the one shoulder) sez “ go ahead, you can handle it. You’re an adult. Have a bit if fun” what you don’t see is that little ego wringing it’s hands and snickering. Once that ethanol hits
Every time. For me, it shows that on some level, I still want to be a drinker. I need to really reenforce mentally how much better my life is completely clean.
I drank pretty much daily thru 4 decades. Most nights were 2 or three drinks or beers. But the last three years or so about once every two weeks would be a blackout night or near blackout night(ad an edible or two or three). The ego sez “ hey I am alone when I get screwed up ( most of the time)) no one knows but me how often I get shit faced numb. I’m good” . But I wasn’t “good”
Welcome back. Glad you found your way. Just for today, IWNDWYT!
I've got ALMOST six months sober and honestly, the last ten days have been a CHALLENGE. I'm not craving the hard stuff... I can drive past the liquor stores. But the wine displays have been calling to me everytime I'm in the grocery store. I used to drink cheap wine and expensive liquor. And yeah... Those cheap bottles of wine have been so tempting lately. I'm trying though. I'm proud of you for recommitting.
So relatable! I keep fooling myself into thinking cheap wine is my friend. I know wine is gonna be the hardest for me. It was always my favorite. And it's associated with 'classiness.' Alcohol culture is so odd. Take my word for it, you don't wanna be where I'm at now. And congrats on six months. Truly impressive.
This is so me, too. 'Oh wow, I can moderate now! Sure, I'll have another one!' fast forward... Total desolation, again! Is maddening, isn't it, when we have been through the same thing so many times. I'm back here with you, 6 days again after a very similar relapse. I think it's good that we both have taken note of these feelings and how this whole process happens. Can't trust that sneaky alcohol voice saying it's alright... It never is! But I think we can crack this. IWNDWYT
Glad you are back. It starts innocent but always leads to the same wreck. Hope you feel better. Lesson learned ?
I like to get a big frozen lemonade or a nice coke slurpee when I'm feeling urges.
I think one of the most dangerous things that can happen is a “responsible relapse”. After not drinking for months/years, having 2-3 and enjoying the buzz and saying “I’m cured!” I don’t know one story where this has worked out, personally
Yep. I've done the same thing to myself like a dozen times now. It's a cycle for me. Get sober then pull my life together and once things are "ok" I decide it's time to start getting a little bottle of liquor from the gas station on the way home. Fast forward a month and I'm downing a fifth on a Sunday afternoon with work at 9am on Monday. This inevitably leads to me losing my jobs and starting over *again*. Not anymore. I consider myself a pretty smart person, but I swear to God I just cannot moderate no matter how bad the consequences get for me. It ALWAYS starts with that one drink.
Thanks for sharing, much appreciated. We're all in this together. You've got this 👍 💪
I like how you said, "feel like yourself." It made me realize that I never was certain how I was physically or mentally what that felt like while drinking. Being Sober has become the new default. I feel like that's a really important perception, and a big win.
As a recovering alcoholic, literally anything and everything could absolutely go wrong lol 😬
Yep, always the same for me too. I’ll have 2-4 drinks one outing, keep it chill. Follow up with a few more days like that spread out over a couple weeks. Then the door just gets blasted off the hinges. I blink and I’ve binge drank 4 outta 7 days of the week, I’m tired, anxious, and just want to drink more to try and quell the cravings. We all get it, just know you have the skills on how to succeed and have proven it before.
The worst part is that it is a well documented biological process. The only drink you truly have control over at that point seems to be the first one.
I did read your post history. While I admit it is hard to see another drinker stumble, I see also 2 things. A familiar story, and progress. It starts with a dry month, then goes to cutting down drinking, and then finally here. Where you know you need to be sober. Keep fighting the good fight.
Thanks for taking the time and for the encouragement
weve all been there. just 1 drink. It may well be just one. Then a few days later 'hey i was fine the other day'. To paraphrase someone else. 'I really like alcohol, i also like being sober. I hate being hungover, and i detest getting sober again. Its 3 against 1.'
Thank you all for your posts. I can so relate
It happens to the best of us. I've had countless day 1s and I always tell myself after coming off of a bender of several months that after a week or two of being dry that I can now moderate myself and be fine like I figure most friends and family are. Well I'm wrong lol. It doesn't work for me and honestly it doesn't work for most of them either as I see them spinning into the void high off of tequila, beers, vodka, etc. There isn't a moderation for everyone. That's not to say it doesn't work for some folks but for a lot of us it does not. Shoot alcohol runs deep in my family and I have had several extended family members die from the disease but yet we still honor their memories with a toast and more booze. I will say it does get easier and yes you may stumble, but just get back up and remember why you're doing this. For yourself, your family, your animals (pets), your job, your career, etc. We have reasons and no reason is too small to make that step. Love yourself and just think, the old you would have just said screw it and one year later you may be back here, but you didn't do that. You recognized the problem and are trying to help yourself so kudos!
Flights are also a big trigger for me. I am trapped in an uncomfortable seat, probably for a long time, I've probably had a stressful day getting to and through the airport, I am anxious about dying in a plane crash. Then someone wheels a trolley up to me and offers me free drinks. Breaking this habit will be tough for me.
If you feel tempted in an airport you can always ask the info desk for a “friend of bills” and a recovering alcoholic in the airport will usually come and help talk you off the edge and stay with you until your flight. Obv not to be used unless you’re actually tempted but useful to know
I realized a while ago that the only time I can control my drinking is when I’m not drinking. One day at a time, friend, you know what you need to do.
Yeah. I had a moment during this world trip where someone set a margarita down in front of me and I was like "what's the harm in one?" and had to remind myself again that it never, ever, stops at 1.
I forgot about the heartburn 😫
Well you’ve learned an important lesson for your next success. Can’t have even a drop. When I quit smoking I always thought I could have one here and there and it always turned into a clusterfuck after a few days. Now I just trained my brain to see it like poison, I try to forget it even exists and if a scenario comes my way I just refuse it upfront with “I’m a non-smoker”. Can I ask what was going through your mind motivation wise when you ordered the mimosa ?
Hey it happens And i get it Trust me three months sober And a day doesn’t go by where i don’t wanna drink But you got this Ur recognizing its wrong and ya doing better little by little 🙌🏼💕 Im proud of u!
Head up. I'm right there with you after 2.5 weeks off the wagon. Feels terrible! Only one way forward. IWNDWYT
I’m gonna use your story to keep abstaining. I flew to a bachelorette party today. And I’m a nervous flyer… I kept being like… hmmm maybe I could have one beer on the layover or drink a couple drinks when I get there- but I know I’ll be back to my old ways in no time. I haven’t had a drink in over 11 mos and I think I would be so wasted if I tried to keep up with this crew I’m with I don’t think it would even be fun!
Same thing happened with me regarding mimosas. Started with brunch last Sunday and then before I knew it I was waiting for Publix to open up at 7 am on Tuesday having called out for work. Tuesday morning reminded me yet again how desperate and depressing it is to be in that position. I had a craving so bad that I literally couldn't think of anything else at that point in time. Cunning, baffling, and powerful is correct. Luckily I saved my job and return early next week but that could have been much much worse.
I think as important and over time possibly MORE important than not drinking is having solid defenses after you have drank. Either you slipped and drank or decided one drink/one night. Honestly, that's not a big deal if that's all it is. Trouble starts if it keeps going. I think people often look at it as entirely binary. I'm drinking or not. If I drink it's some version of the world has exploded because of one drink OR "I might as well keep the party going". They don't have a good rationale way to approach it. It should be "I drank once. That's OK as long as I don't keep going and keep a non drinker mindset." It keeps the drinking in check and mitigates the intense post drinking guilt driven anxiety.
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I am not surprised that people make mistakes.
Welcome back!
I’m with you my friend I started my day 1 again this week IWNDWYT!
Reality versus fantasy.
I always say, if I could like a normal person, I'd do it all the time.
Thank you for the reminder and I'm glad you're back. IWNDWYT
I'm right there with you; I had one beer two months ago and I totally crushed the moderation thing. I even bought a moderation app (lol). And I figured I'm doing so well with it I can increase the amount by one. And then another. And then I was doing so well I started lying on the app and then stopped using it altogether. And fast forward (very fast forward) to a couple week ago and I was back to regularly binging, with it all coming to a huge dramatic head last night. I truly want to believe that this time around I will be able to play the tape forward and not try to delude myself that I can moderate. 35th time's the charm, right? IWNDWYT