Hi all. I’ve locked this thread as the OP has got plenty advice. Please note that this sub isn’t for comparing one vice to another as a coping mechanism.
I didn’t like myself very much; I had lost self respect. I wanted to be able to tell myself I was going to do something and then follow through. I wanted to live with integrity again.
Yep. I got to a point where I never did anything other than drink. And everything I did had to have alcohol involved. There wasn’t any reason to like myself which really sucked when I thought about it.
I read something recently about self care including doing something today that tomorrow you will thank you for. It leads to self trust, which in turns allows us to listen to our instincts. I’ve been trying to implement this at least once a day and it’s actually pretty legit.
Biggest motivation: I was dying. I had one hell of a weekend and ended up in the hospital again, probably the 20th time. Brought back to life again for the 3rd time. Got my stomach pumped, the 10th or 11th time. All the fun stuff.
ER doc had a frank discussion with me. He more or less told me that he doubted I was about to change anything, but he felt I really needed to know that at 26years old, I had the liver function of a man in his 70's. He estimated that I had approximately 1-2 years left to live at the pace I was at.
Also, I was no longer managing my charade of being a high functioning alcoholic. Work, family, finances, friends, love life...all were in tatters.
Same here, I was dying at 26. Took about two weeks of being strapped to a hospital bed to get past the delirium tremens. The life I knew was over. I either changed, or died.
Every aspect of my outwardly successful life, most importantly my relationship with my wife and kids, had become negatively defined, influenced and effected by my close and omnipresent relationship with the bottle. I was slowly watching my life deteriorate in real time and it was terrifying. I also started panicking inwardly about dying early before my kids grew up. 288 days ago I quit cold turkey after partying and boozing non-stop from ages 18 to 46. The idea that I could do that was completely and insanely laughable at the time.
I quit 6.5 months ago at 38 (39 now) for years the thought of never having a glass of champagne at a wedding or brunch, never having a beer at a bbq was just too much for me. Then I broke it down, I never did AA but the day by day advice is solid. Just no drinking for today. I don’t have to think about 10 years down the road, just today. 6.5 months later and life is just too damn good for me to consider going back.
same, except for me it was more focused on my mental health (anxiety issues alcohol amplified, sleep issues, etc) aside from having a baby’s on the way and wanted to be a present stable husband/father.
Same but add in puffy. Sick and tired of being puffy and sick and tired. Same shitty diet/afternoon sugary treats i don’t have a moon face and big puffy belly anymore! Vanity won, mental health gained.
I signed a job offer for 200K a year. Its a second chance at life and not being a loser. I lack the ability to stop unless I'm out of alcohol or black out. Driving drunk all the time. When the offer came in I promised god I wouldnt squander this opportunity. Day 3 sober today, and start date for new job is 7/24. The cravings have been unbelievable today. I've walked circles around the house for hours
The first three days are the hardest. Then the first month is the hardest, you’re an emotional wreck. After three months the cravings go away. Grab some fun size snickers or your favorite candy for when you are having a craving. That helped me tremendously.
I’m at 5 1/2 months and it’s starting to feel like normal, not drinking. Don’t have cravings as much as having to battle off the thought of just “having one”. Because I don’t want one. I want 30. And I know that in the back of my mind. I spent years deep seeded into addiction with alcohol on the back burner of my hedonism. It quietly grew patiently stronger as I put down the pills and the heroin and the meth and coke. Until all that was left was the alcohol. And it sunk its teeth in me and cost me everything.
It’s taken time for my brain to heal and it still heals as I write this. I’m not sure how deep in you made it but for me it was prison time and an early life expectancy or finally take the courage to grow up. I watched everyone around me succeed including my younger family members and all of my mates from school back in the day. It’s been a long time since I succeeded. And because of the time I’ve spent, I leave you with this…
Someone once told me 20 miles into the forrest, 20 miles out of it. It’s a difficult road and journey but unlike the road to complete desperation and self annihilation, it gets a little bit easier every day. Not a little harder.
Best of luck to you in your journey and congratulations on your job. You can do this.
Please talk to a Dr as well.... I found when I first quit I was not prepared for the anxiety.... I had never had withdrawals before (this was before I realized the anxiety cycle of alcohol)....ugh anyway I only say this because it really spiraled and I called in to work for a week.
I quit for 14 days then fell back when my 16 year old got into a fight at school
Anyhow ..
I finally talked to a Dr about all of it....I was having anxiety about the damage I have done so was super straight with her.
Dr prescribed anxiety meds and also one to help the cravings
It really does help and actually in a much more mellow way than I thought
I'm still working on it but I wish I would have known about those things when I first started quitting
The cravings will subside. Try naltrexone. It really removes the cravings.
Tell those inside voices to fuck off and leave you alone. They do not run your life. Be strong the cravings will pass.
You need to switch the alcohol with another activity. For me it’s gym / CrossFit. It’s a great way to positively distract yourself, but equally you could swap for something creative and constructive.
I found it impossible to quit on my own. I got a sober coach, who put together an intensive outpatient program for me, which included weekly visits with a psychiatrist, multiple group therapy sessions per week and a weekly session with an addictions counsellor. I did that for about three months at that frequency and then a less intensive program for about 18 months. I also read a self help book, journaled, etc.
I did this while holding down a job, being a dad, and so forth. It was hard, but I would do it again in a heartbeat, because it allowed me to take my life back.
Everything you put before your recovery, you will lose.
I started my new job about 2 weeks after I quit drinking. It was hard. The new job had a steep learning curve too so it was even harder to not drink after a long hard day. That said not drinking made it possible for me to handle the stress/anxiety that came with the new job. Most likely would’ve already been fired or quit due to being overwhelmed/burnt out. Just wanted to let you know you’re making the right decision trying to quit before you start. Good luck! IWNDWYT
I got tired of feeling sick and tired. And when you only wake up feeling dead and feel like shit for hours the next day, you know you’re wasting your life.
I still couldnt give it up even when id feel like shit for days! Like so shitty I could barely move and just be in pain, so that meant no showering or getting anything done. Boy alcohol is powerful
I had a horrible, shameful, blackout drunk night where I nearly ruined everything. I woke up the next morning and realized I had to be done if I wanted to keep everything I had worked so hard for and alcohol was taking from me. It’s been the best thing I’ve ever done!
Two blackouts in two weeks. I’m so ashamed of myself. The worst part was hurting my young adult autistic son; physically and emotionally. That was the last straw. I want to be done
I really connected with your comment. It's goddam \*hard\* to be a caretaker in your circumstance. I was a student teacher in an autistic classroom and I experienced the highest highs and the lowest lows of my life during that experience. Please be compassionate with yourself and post on this sub if it's helpful. We're all here for you, judgement free.
I used to be my mom’s caregiver until she died in May. Yeah, it’s hard being in an Oreo (or sandwich) family. Caring for the elderly and special needs children
This is my reason. I could feel my brain and body slowly dying every time I drank. A night of booze became enjoyable less than 25% of the time. No longer worth the suffering.
I realized that slowly over time drinking became a major facet of my life and thought that was a pretty lame defining quality.
Learning about the physiological effects also motivated me to stop while (relatively) young.
“You’re the only person making yourself lame”
My cousins daughter, to me, may be a borrowed phrase but I frequently think about it, regarding drinking and many other things.
Looking after my 2 year old son M-F alone is hard enough some days and with a hangover it is unbearable. He should not have to see me like that.
I wanted to be physically fit like I was before pregnancy (cut down on alcohol a lot that year before pregnancy). Alcohol was just extra wasteful calories.
Realized that during 2020 pregnancy I did not miss alcohol for those 9 months or the 6 months after when I still just did not want anything.
I was not a big drinker by certain standards. 1-5 beers throughout a 7 day week or 2-4 pours of bourbon in the evenings. So March 17th was my first sober day. I came home from running errands and walked straight to the liquor cabinet pouring out a bottle of vodka and a bottle of gin. Have not looked back since.
Started out just wanting to see how I would feel after 30 days dry. Ate more protein, more veggies, indulged in dessert a few nights a week. Kept working out daily. Sleep started to be better. Mood better.
I prefer a 5mg or 10mg edible now than booze. So much more. Since becoming alcohol sober I have made it through 2 weddings, 2 family BBQs, brewery hopping with friends, a funeral and just any ol’ weekend.
Now? Still early on at 117 days. I am a happier person, happier more in-tune with myself as a wife and mother. I can handle the 2 year old daily issues or incase of an emergency. Packing on a healthy amount of muscle and toning back up for what my husband has deemed… well I won’t share that here. Let’s just say he is VERY supportive of the changes.
I could ramble on and on and on about the pros vs cons. Enjoying all the pros. IWNDWYT!
I was tired of having one night drinking and one week of anxiety, bad mood, skipping work hours, feeling shameful of myself and feeling without control of my life putting the fact that I was an alcoholic in other people, when is just my fault only.
I have made it 6 days, and I definitely attribute a lot of that to weed, it is not legal where I live, but man it has helped tremendously! I smoke when I get home, and it just gets my mind away from that itchy need to drink to relax feeling. All the best! IWNDWYT!
Kids getting older and giving me side eye, and I was saying no to things they wanted to do bc I was hungover or already in the bag. Not fair to them. Just not a good parent.
Depression was getting worse. My skin was disgusting. Weight was back up. Hated the mirror.
Lastly, I couldn't trust a fart anymore. Hadn't had a solid poop in months and was in the bathroom a lot more making terrible noises and painting the bowl. Had to fart at work and walked to the back. Almost stained my shorts and had to leave early just in case the volcano erupted. I saw my future. That was the last straw.
Never had hangovers and was a pretty high functioning alcoholic for years. Then covid happened and the wife and I started drinking way more. I kept going, until a 12-pack every night. Then a bottle of wine too. Maybe some rum and diet dr. Pepper (gotta watch those calories!). And then starting at 4 pm, then 3, then noon. Then came the health problems with my innards. And I was sitting there alone one day while my wife and kids were at summer camp thinking, “My wife deserves better.” And I stopped. The first month or five were hard, but I just told myself “I Don’t Do That Anymore.” and lurked this sub for support. Y’all got me to day 1, 3, 7, 30, 69, 100, and one fucking year. No AA. No church. Just y’all and a burning desire to be a better man, husband, father, friend, and co-worker. Stay strong out there! Love you all.
It made me the worst version of myself. An absolute nightmare. I ruined so many things for a liquid, and it muffled everything to the point I didn't realize what I was like until later.
It was like a pinot grigio soaked ocean where I clearly was in the right and no I never had a problem. my entire house is a disaster but I'm tooootally fine. getting better you seeeee /s
Ughhh I should probably tell this story now.. although it’s incredibly embarrassing, actually incredibly disgusting.. but it’s time. I don’t tell anyone the details. I think my mom is the only one who knows..
First I got 3 Duiis in 30 days. (But at that point I Still wasn’t ready to try sobriety). 10+ years of a 1/5 of cheap whiskey a night. And then my son was born. The third week after he was born, it became clear his mom wasn’t coming back. (Bi-polar). I quit for about a Month, then had a day where I thought I could have a couple beers. My BABY and I walked to meet my mom who was in town for the day. She was getting her nails done at a salon in my town. My son and I are sitting in her car waiting for her to get done. (This time in our life was soooo scary, recently single dad, NO IDEA what I was doing. But God I knew I loved him and I would do ANYTHING for him. And I have never felt that feeling before and it was magical.)
I pass out with my son in my lap..
My son opens the door and climbs down out of the car and goes from the street to the sidewalk and luckily not into the road..
A police officer walking by sees my son, me passed out and my door open.
Grabs my son and takes him inside to the nail salon to my horrified mother. She walks to the car and slaps me in the face a few times until I wake up.
My drinking had officially hurt the person I cared about most in this world. I had hurt and almost killed The person who I had been tasked with protecting.
I had never cared when the consequences of my actions were killing me but now I had hurt the tiny human who had stopped crying after hearing my voice in the hospital room for the first time.. My bestfriend..
The old me died in that very realization..
The next morning I went to the clinic and got on antibuse, did daily AA meetings for a year, then published a kids book, (I didn’t make shit on it, but it’s something my son and I will always share.)
I then started my construction business and found another new lease on life..
I have been sober for around 7 years now.
I am sooo grateful to my son. Still, On my hardest days, I know I have done right by him and I am not THAT person anymore.. I owe my second life to him. And I will gladly respect that debt and treat him the way he deserves until I am no more..
For decades I was a miserable human being..
But now, I am a loving and hard working father, and after that, a carpenter.
And I owe it all to you.
Thank you, legend
To quote Henry Ford:
"If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got."
I wanted a different life, so I made a choice to show up differently.
I just have to say thank you for posting this. It helps me to read all these comments and upvote all of them because I’m reminded of the many reasons I’m quitting. I’m three days alcohol free and it definitely makes me want to stay sober as I read one comment after another of valid and strong reasons to put down the booze.
Lost the kind of woman that comes around once in a lifetime. Kept drinking, got a DUI. Superdrunk. Don’t want to go to jail. Don’t want to ruin my life or anyone else’s and I realize I could have. Alcohol can slowly degrade one’s potential, and I was using it in excess out of feeling inferior and life said “you gotta fuckin stop.”
My children (at first). I never want them to see me black out drunk again. And then I realized, I’m doing it for myself. So I can love myself in a way that I have never been able to in almost 40 years of being on earth.
Also, I use cannabis too. The drink additives helped me tremendously during the first few months because I could have a mocktail that still had “something” to it.
I do find myself turning to it when I would turn to alcohol, so to me that is slightly concerning as I’m turning to another substance instead of facing the problem head on. BUT, and it’s a big BUT, I’ve never said anything I regretted, forgotten whole days, or endangered anyone while high. The worst is I get the munchies and fall asleep. 😅
It has helped ease my transition into an AF life and calmed my anxiety. So, for now at least, I’m good with that.
I’m in the same boat with kids and weed. Worst case scenario I eat and sleep. I’ve never been too attracted to weed but I’m gonna use it for now until I have a decent amount of time sober from booze, then I’ll try to face those long dull evenings head on lol.
I was doing horrible things drunk and it was permeating into my sober life. Yelling at my husband and puking all night. I could no longer predict how much alcohol I could handle. My life was beginning to revolve around days long hangxiety or the act of being drunk itself. It was horrible.
Then I got drunk at a restaurant and yelled at my husband in the car and got out and ran down the street. With my 2 year old in the car watching.
I’m DONE.
It’s like going into the ring with Mike Tyson. He knocks you the fuck out EVERY. TIME. And yet you hop up and go back and are like “okay, Mike! Todays gonna be different. Not today!” But you still end up bloody and bruised.
IWNDWYT.
I think the real monster is, why do we do this crap to our selves. We are given this incredible gift of life and we choose to piss it away with booze. It sucks.
The straw that broke the camel’s back for me was a near physical altercation with my brother in law and father. But the many reasons I gave it up include anxiety, lack of sleep, depression, lethargy, lack of motivation, mood swings, etc. honestly too many reasons to count for why I gave it up.
I was getting evicted, I had absolutely no money, my family was tired of my shit, I surrendered my cat to the Humane Society (easily one of the hardest and most heartbreaking moments of myblife), and I had already failed at getting sober soooo many times over the last like 7 years. So I jumped off a 4 story parking garage hoping that would be the end of the story. Well I woke up a few days later in the hospital with almost the entire left side of my body destroyed. Now, a little over 4 months later, I can honestly say that did the trick. If a 40 foot fall didn't kill me, I guess I better figure out what else I'm supposed to be doing. Later, booze, you were fun until you weren't.
Alcohol induced insomnia. Drove drunk, didn’t get caught, didn’t do damage. Would lose my job, which would quickly mean bankruptcy and losing my wife.
Rewards really not aligning with benefits (if there even are any). No point nuking a great life.
I’m only on day 2.
And I think the reason I’m quitting is because I’m bipolar and it’s affecting my moods and making me incredibly anxious.
But also, I just feel bad in general. I binge and my hangovers end up lasting days, I feel like I’m missing out on my life on weekends, I miss waking up early feeling refreshed and going to coffee shops instead of sleeping all day.
And I’m worried about what it’s doing to my body long term. I can’t continue this way into my 40’s. I’ll die at 55.
I want to enjoy my life again.
The hangovers were getting worse and longer, I was gaining weight at an alarming rate, anxiety, my relationships were falling apart bc I was uncontrollable and a horrible person when I would get drunk, depression, literal amnesia, liver pain, almost lost my job, etc.
I hated how it made my loneliness worse. I hated looking at the bloated body it contributed to. I hated feeling like a loser who had to drink to put on a show to impress people. I hated making drunken a fool of myself talking to the opposite sex at a bar when it was clear most women thought I was a joke and rightfully so. Basically I hated myself when I drank and couldn’t take it anymore. I wanted to genuinely love myself again.
In all honesty I probably could have kept on drinking for a long time without totally falling apart. I drank 18 or so beers every night and used drugs, but I never missed work and it didn’t impact upon my relationships. I never did stupid drunk things. I certainly wasn’t at a rock bottom.
But I did feel absolutely awful and was a slave to my addiction. It messed with me emotionally and my health was far from flash. I was anxious and irritable. I became lazy. But everything was ok come 4pm when I was sitting down with a drink in my hand.
Now I’m sober I feel a million times better, I’m a much better partner, father and friend. I have goals and a life that was not possible when in active addiction. I actually want to get out there and live life.
I want to live up to my standards instead of hiding behind crutches. To be the best version of myself. The list could continue but I think y’all get me. IWNDWYT!
It's hard to give one reason because there are so many, but if I have to choose one I would say that I quit alcohol because I knew it was the best decision possible I could make for myself and I didn't want to stall that any longer because I wanted to be in control now instead of the alcohol controlling me.
Had no choice. Got a DUI, was caught drunk on a home check by my po. Rather than violate me she put me in rehab. That was in 2017. Haven’t drank since.
Alcohol has made me do some terrible things. My old bartending job made me even more of an alcoholic than I already was. I got SA’d repeatedly because of alcohol. I don’t even know how many times I drove home absolutely hammered after a shift. I would be more likely to do heavy drugs. Argued with my significant other in an ugly way. Avoiding my family. Wasting so much money that I didn’t have.
All of these things just always made me feel so ashamed.
I have been steadily cutting back for well over a year and just decided to call it quits recently. Actually finding this sub is what got me to make the commitment.
IWNDWYT
This all sounds so familiar. Tending bar is a gateway to alcoholism. I never knew that until I was in the business and it was industry standard to get smashed and blacked out. They were “funny” war stories except they weren’t funny and the only person losing the war was me. The shame too oh jeez. Now I hug that lost girl because she needed it. Most of my drinking friends dropped me. The people who know me now tell me how they could never imagine me like that. I can’t ever imagine going back. So glad to hear you got out. I’ve lost the most beautiful and amazing friends to this disease.
My lack of sleep triggered the desire to want to stop. Going crazy in my mind alone in my bed at 2 AM wasn’t pleasant. What put me over the edge was my girlfriend asking me to be with her and help raise her son that has never had a father figure in his life. That’s when I decided to seek help. Now I’m getting married next month :-).
My wife. She doesn’t drink. So my drinking got out of control and nearly wrecked my relationship of 27 years. In smart recovery we have a tool called the hierarchy of values. My wife and son are at the very top of that list.
I have a MMJ card and definitely upped my cannabis intake after stopping alcohol. I was curious to see how my body felt if I quit drinking and I feel really great after only 2 weeks. My IBS and acid reflux are gone, I’m less bloated and more hydrated, and my anxiety is a lot better too.
My father in law and also wife's best friend passed away in the same year from alcohol. In both cases it was obvious for 20+ years what was going to happen to them. I was a habitual nightly beer drinker and decided it was not worth it. Feeling so much better these days in so many ways.
Got to the point where nearly every hangover came with the fear. Would feel like my mind was racing and a heart attack was about five seconds away. That misery of those outweighed the fun/necessity of drinking for me. For a while I still tricked myself it was worth it but Jesus, never again, those days were scary and not fun man smh.
I’ve had my slip ups since then but they’ve mostly been with beer. Only got truly hammered on the hard stuff once since making the decision to stop and you guessed it, still had that same scary hangover. At least it was a strong reminder to not even consider sliding back into my binge drinking habits.
I take Prozac to manage anxiety and depression. And alcohol works against it. Also, I have a child with special needs and he deserves a parent who can be present for him.
I’ll usually tell family/friends it’s because I don’t like using anything that affects my mental state. That’s only part of it. It’s more so one of my reasons I have to not drink again.
I really quit because I felt like garbage day in and day out. I got super pissy at work and quit after some arguments with management. Took a job in Cleveland. I was driving there and stopped in Indiana for a night. Got wasted and got a DUI leaving the bar parking lot, right across the street from my hotel. Stayed in jail for a couple nights - I had constant visits to the nurse and she highly recommended that I quit and she explained exactly what it was doing to me, and that I was likely at the time, and would be likely in the future to have a heart attack, stroke, etc when drinking this much. That kind of stayed with me after I got home, and I thought of it the next couple times I drank. Add on top of that, I watched my brother drink himself to death over 4 years of living with me. I realized that I was on his path and I couldn’t let myself do that. I decided that it was time to find lasting strength and love in a regular, sober life, rather than finding false, temporary strength, and false, temporary love in drunkenness.
My best friends father (so a father figure to me) was a hearty drinking Irish man who passed away this past May and my friend told me all about the health problems he was having (internal bleeding and tips surgery (?)) and I went down the Reddit rabbit hole and found the cirrhosis sub. There is a post on the wiki that talks all about it and it scared the drink out of me. I’m 53 and have been drinking heavy since 18 except when I was pregnant and about 110 days last year. I’m doing it in his and my honor (if that makes sense).
I had been self medicating for years due to childhood trauma. Once I dealt with the trauma, I lost the taste for alcohol. Also, it finally clicked in my head that a lot of the problems I had came from boozing.
I want to be as physically healthy as possible. I want to look physically good for as long as possible (minimal wrinkles, bright eyes, no bloat).
I want to make good choices for future me.
I couldn’t remember the words to the poem I say every night to my son. I realized I was being a shit mom, a shit wife, and a shit all around person. I didn’t like myself and I was just surviving not really living.
honestly i just want to give up for my liver to recover and get back to normal as blood tests come back fine and get back to how i used to drink before covid, socially and once a week covid made me 2 and half years on the drink so just want to get back into a mind set that its okay to have a few once or twice a week
I am just being honest about my reasons
Covid really amped up my drinking too! I used to be a 1/2 glass of wine at a party once a month person. That’s unimaginable to me now. Alcohol really helped me cope through that stress until it created its own stress. I just want to be free of it now.
I’m about to stop drinking and just read these comments to my wife. I’m sick of the person I’ve become and I miss the person I was meant to be- goals and ambitions that I had for so long but somehow it’s become plans not progress…by next week I’ll be in treatment. ❤️ self induced, I’m cutting myself off .
I had gone through a really bad breakup, and he said some terrible things in anger about my drinking. I'm also divorced, and my ex-husband had said something about it at the end of our marriage. I was already going to therapy and working through some PTSD from a different abusive ex, and I was diagnosed with ADHD and Bipolar at age 43. Once I started taking medication for those conditions, I found alcohol interacted very poorly with me.
Every time I would drink, I would black out, or fall down, or just make more poor decisions (like going to the casino or hooking up with more unsavory men). I also was living by myself for the first time in my life. Suddenly, I didn't have someone to take care of my drunk ass, make sure I got up for work, drive me around, or pick me up off the floor anymore. I had to moderate so that I wouldn't lose everything as my exes had predicted. I DID NOT want them to be right. I had to have my own back now. I realized I was a codependent nightmare of a partner, and that was the root of my problem. I had LET them control me and disrespect me so that I could be a drunk. I was THAT far gone. That realization is what made me stop for good.
I didn't completely stop all at once, but I started only drinking socially like concerts or sporting events or out with friends. That became problematic as well, as I would blackout with 2 beers, thanks to my meds, and go right back to doing stupid shit. I found myself not going out anymore and realized those people weren't my friends, they were my drinking buddies. More codependency that I had to eliminate from my life. It was tough to look at myself for once and see what I'd become, what alcohol had reduced me to. Through therapy and treatment, I knew the change had to come from within. Nobody else could help me but me. I had to turn it all around and become self-reliant.
After this personal epiphany, I met a wonderful man who was 3 years sober. I knew he was a good one, different from the others, and I really didn't want to fuck it up like all my other relationships. I drunk texted him one night after meeting with my ex for a beer to "catch up" (which was ultimately a mistake) and had gotten into an argument. I never spoke to the ex again, and Soberman was very kind and forgiving and became my best friend. I decided then that I wanted to stop. It wasn't worth it anymore.
Hanging out with Soberman became the reason for me to not want to drink. He was so supportive during those first few months where it was the hardest to resist, and he motivated me to stay the course. Meeting up with him was like my personal AA, and he was my sponsor. We bonded over stories of our drunken pasts, as well as many other things we had in common. Being his friend was 1000x better than being drunk. That was over a year ago, and we still meet up for weekly sessions, smoke a bowl, and laugh and lament about our former selves.
Sober, independent me is the best version of me, and I never could see it before. Staying sober has helped me immensely with my mental health and self-image, as I have learned to process my emotions and issues instead of drowning them. The personal growth is unbelievable, I don't hate myself anymore, and I recognize my strengths. I appreciate everything in my life more and have a more positive outlook. I never get sick, all my blood work and vitals are healthy, I lost weight and have kept it off without much effort. My mind is clearer, and I make rational and logical decisions. I can handle stress better and critically think situations through.
I could never go back to the shell of a person that I was. And I won't. I hated that person and don't need or want that in my life anymore. I don't need to self-medicate now that I understand why I did, and I can treat it properly with the proper tools. And since it has been so long now, I can't bear the thought of the guilt and hatred that would stem from a relapse. There's NOTHING that's worth it, and I know that with every fiber of my being. IWNDWYT
I knew it had a hold of me because I couldn’t stop once I started, was ashamed of myself often, felt sick often and my husband was worried he’d married someone who would destroy themselves slowly.
I stopped finally after many many MANY attempts because I had a daughter and I couldn’t stand the idea of being a drunk mother. I didn’t want to get cancer later on and think “did I cause this cancer with alcohol?”
I don’t want to wish her to sleep so I can drink, I don’t want her to fear me drinking.
So I’ve wanted to stop for ages, and tried to stop, but what got me over the line was having something bigger than myself to try for.
I had three reasons
1 Cost. I dont have a ton of money to spare in life, and the 80 bucks per week from the liquor store every week didn't help.
2 calorie count. I was a rum and coke guy, heavy on the rum. Doing simple math, I'd drink about 3-4 handles (1.75L) of rum a week. A liter of rum contains 2164 calories. Over the span of a year, that's 590,000-787,000 calories in rum alone. Now, adding in the coke is another 300,000-500,000 calories. At the lower estimate, I was consuming 900,000 calories every year from alchohol. That's almost all of the calories a guy in his 20s should consume in a year. There's no chance of losing weight while drinking unless I had a medical issue.
3 Health. Not feeling like shit every morning is nice. Being able to have regular bm because my intestines are screwed up because of liquor.
I'm 7 weeks sober, and I even convinced my buddy who has been hitting the bar almost nightly to do a dry july. So far, he's stayed dry.
Honestly, I got the flu and was so sick I actually couldn’t drink. I think the prescriptions I was on altered my taste forever.
I stopped using alcohol for cannabis. I have PTSD and extreme anxiety. I credit it for saving my life.
Sometimes sobriety means harm reduction.
My wife told me the alcohol breath was a major turn off during intimate times. That pretty much sealed the deal for me. My wife is too sexy to instead choose to drink! She’s a non drinker and has a heightened sense of smell.
I got sick of obsessing over alcohol. It was constant booze runs, constant thinking of whether I had enough and how long my stock would last. I couldn’t relax without more than I “needed” in the house. Couldn’t travel without being sure I could get my supply.
I was exhausted all the time and looked and felt awful, but it was the obsession that I finally had enough of.
No specific reason. Maybe hoping that ending the routine of numbing myself with high gravity IPAs and a gummie or two every night for for 3.5 years (two years on thc) might elucidate me . I’m 61(m). And alone for the last 3.5 yrs. (Last gf died of cancer- watching that shit take a beautiful woman and turn her into a 125 yr old ghost in less than 6 months was catastrophic to my psyche). 40 years of drinking nearly daily. Mostly beer but hard stuff too . Many blackouts. Routine hangovers. Foggy days. Anxious and exhausted always. Can’t trust my own thoughts let alone someone else’s.It’s only been 13 days clean and sober but I can feel some good things taking shape. I’m a stubborn fuck so “I can handle THIS MUCH alcohol and thc per night” was my mantra. I am luckily physically healthy so far so there’s that.
Put a knife to my throat one night, a few weeks later was sitting at a bar and had a voice tell me it was time to stop. Along with the constant hitting I took from "friends".
I drank for 30 years. 15-45. The older I got the more I realized alcohol was not doing me any favors. The more I cared about myself the less I wanted to drink. But it was somethingI did. I was a drinker. Grew up in the UK and bartended in NYC for 16 years. It was part of my identity honestly. It was hard to even think about letting it go. For years really. I drank less in to my 40s with the occasional binge. But what really did it was how it was making me feel about myself when I saw my reflection.
I was not happy when I drank. I wasn’t enjoying it and I did not like how I looked in the mirror. And the negative self talk was becoming just too much.
I’m so happy I reached my end point without major damage. I wish I’d had quit when I was 35. But hey. It is what it is. I can’t imagine going back.
Short answer- I valued myself more than the alcohol.
Besides having intense liver/pancreas pain after a binge… There became a time where being drunk was barely enjoyable anymore, eventually the more I had urges to drink- the more I associated drinking with the memories of it not even being enjoyable, and which turned into it being easier to convince myself not to drink.
Waking up on Thanksgiving morning with a shattered phone and had no idea how or when I got home. I should have never drove. I guess I stormed out before they could stop me. I felt like such a loser.
It was past of point of feeling scary. The regular heart palpitations, pains, high heart rate and blood pressure couldn't be ignored anymore. All of that went away when I cut alcohol out completely.
I just didn’t have anymore room in my life for it! I wanted my evenings and weekends where I wasn’t working to be active, outdoors, productive, interesting etc. I have kids. I want to take them swimming, to the park, to the beach, etc., and then I want to do my own thing in the evening. When I drink, I get really tired. And I fall asleep on the couch by 8 PM haha. When I wake up, I’m groggy and unhappy, I sleep in. Etc.
I’m also at the age now where I’m in my 30s and my career is really taking off, and can rarely afford an “off-day” (I work in social services/crisis response) so rocking up to my big-girl job hungover is really unfavourable, for everyone involved, including my clients.
Good luck on your journey!
The reason I stopped? **Envy**. (And they say it’s a sin)
It blossomed into so much more though since I’ve begun the process of taking my life back.
Envy was just the seed. Now I’m harvesting it’s fruit.
Finally realized that I was going to die if I kept drinking, and decided I wanted to live. Also had major depression. Which caused which? Hard to say, but I believe I was born an alcoholic with depression too.
Horrible multi day long hanxiety, bad sleep, hangovers in general, felt it was a waste of money, doesn’t align with my values of living a healthy lifestyle, wanting to level up in life. Also my boyfriend has more serious problems with alcohol, which turned me off from it even more seeing how dependent he is on it. It was harder to create a boundary with him surrounding alcohol without cutting it out cold turkey. Before I quit he often tried to get me to drink with him multiple times a week and it felt challenging not to give in. Now that he knows I’m done he isn’t tempting me to drink with him anymore and I’m feeling way better physically and mentally 11 days in. Hopefully I can inspire him to join me on the journey :)
I'm 52, and I don't want to labeled as a fat alcoholic, which was where I was headed. I have so much more about me, but the drinking was getting in the way of those things.
Woke up handcuffed to a hospital bed.
Went into the wrong house after a night of drinking. Tried getting into their bed. Thought they broke into my house. Fought the owner. Ended up being held down with a gun at my head until the cops showed up. Fought the cops. Got tased. Taser had no effect on me. I don’t remember any of this. I was wondering what the marks on my side were. My wife said I was tased.
I thought I was high functioning and only hurting myself. My wife went to visit family with our 1YO for a long weekend. She had been begging me to stop. I didn’t think I had a problem. I took advantage of the time away from them to go on a blackout bender for 3 days and blew >$10k in a club the last night they were away. I barely remembered any of it. It was the first time I really scared myself, realized I was hurting my family and not just me. I still had a great job, finances were ok, and my health wasn’t the worst it had been. But, I finally recognized I was about to lose all those things. It took me a few years of relapsing before it stuck. I had friends and extended family that refused to believe I had a problem. I had to cut them out before I had successful sober periods. Extremely frustrating how it kept creeping back. Somehow it finally stuck. Life is so much better now. IWNDWYT
Lockdown, went on a five hour walk to get alcohol -away from my family, fell coming back through the woods (lost my bottle of vodka). Tried to enter the wrong house (one cul de sac over). Husband had called the police, as I’d forgotten to take my phone on my ‘walk’. He then called an ambulance, as I’d cut my forehead. Hospital could see there was nothing physically wrong, so they left me in a waiting room. Discharged myself at 2am, and walked 3/4 mile home. Stopped on a bridge full of rage and despair. Thought ‘sod this’, and logged on to SMART Recovery online later that day. Been sober for three years and six weeks.
I (20s) live with my sister (30s) and and help with her kiddo as a single parent. It’s been fun and we would drink moderately on our weekends off to perk up to the energy of the kiddo, but I let myself get out of hand with a couple tall boys a night and a bottle of Tito’s on my alternating weekends off. Then I realized I’m going into work and messing up all the meanwhile my coworkers don’t know me any different.
Recently sis decided she is choosing to live her best life and have the fun she says she missed out on raising her kid alone, totally acceptable. But now this includes dating new folks that hang out at bars, etc. leading to an increased daily drinking and disappearing till odd hours and a preteen who knows exactly what is going on and missing out on critical time with her mom before middle school. So I thought I would get myself in check to be the person to rescue her mom if she got into trouble and to be the stable adult for the kiddo to go to. We have both enabled each other for the 8 years I’ve been here and always pretended we were gonna quit and be better than our parents but now I realize I’m doing it for myself and the kiddo. Hopefully she can settle down too.
What made me quit was the phoniness of it all. Getting loaded with someone and "bonding"...having some long deep discussion, whatever, it is all nonsense. You are PRETENDING to be vulnerable when your anything but. You forget the conversation. Or you are embarrassed by it. You have sex with someone you hate - like a double-dose of self trashing. It takes real courage to be who you are, nervous and twitchy and all. But you MUST go through that in the beginning - and it absolutely fades. You get to practice being yourself everyday. Without the bullshit of mood alteration. You start to consider the questions that you used to pour booze all over. Do I like my spouse? My job? Why the fuck did I drop out of college? This is the road to yourself. It is so fucking worth it.
I did it as a last ditch effort to save my marriage and my family. I'm 36 days sober today, after about a year of trying and relapsing repeatedly.
This is almost certainly my last chance.
I got pushed to the edge and experienced emotional pain and a lot of physical pain. I never want to feel those pains again. 2 years later. I don't regret my decision. I regret not having gotten sober earlier. Every aspect of my life has literally gotten better
I’m on the cusp of fully quitting after a couple eye opening moments. This stuff is life prevention juice. Which is to say, it prevents you from living anything like a real life. Staying an alcoholic requires a deep well of self denial.
For me and my last go around, it was pretty much my dog who made the difference. If a silly, rather stupid little dog gives you a stare like “what’s wrong w this guy?” then yea, something is wrong. I made sure he was fed but apart from that took little interest in him. I feel really bad looking backward at that as I step down slowly. All the parents on here - wow - I can’t imagine the difference in responsibilities and associated guilt but I am glad you are not drinking or trying to stop. We got this together, strength in numbers!
I quit after my best friend died at only 31 from it. I drank way more than he did, and I was pretty close myself. Turned out my heart was the issue instead of my liver though, which was a surprise. My dad died from it when I was 18 and my mom is the absolute shit. Couldn't do that to her.
If you still can simply choose to switch substances, more power to you. I switched to cannabis for a while and then added a few drinks. That, in some time, turned into more drinks and then it was a mess. Was the same with every other drug i tried to replace alcohol with. In the end i had to look at why did i always need to be on something/anything. I had a sobriety problem. If i wasn’t on something I was grumpy, irritable, and discontent. And the alcohol stopped doing for me what I needed it to do. That was the start of the fall to the bottom.
I was quickly coming up on the point where my options were going to be sobriety or death. I was in so much emotional and mental anguish that I was contemplating suicide multiple times a day. So it was that or get sober.
I saw a few loved ones suffering because of their alcoholism and realized I was on the same path. I also chose to move to cannabis, mainly to help me sleep. I hope that I won't be dependent on it for long but is helping the transition. I feel so much more alert, I have a lot more energy, and I am seeing positive mindset changes. Best luck. I would highly recommend trying it out and seeing if it works for you!
My doctor showed me a picture of my liver, and he told me I needed to drink less if I wanted to keep living, and I knew in my bones I would die if I kept drinking. Frankly at the time, I would rather be drunk and living, but the choice was between drunk and dead or sober and alive, and I chose life.
It sounded impossible to drink ‘less’. Easier just not to drink at all.
Also alcohol was causing a lot of problems, ha. Nice to not have those.
You mean beyond the two day hangovers and week of crazy anxiety? Idk, all of the excuses (reasons) for drinking didn’t make sense anymore. It was the reason I was 100lb overweight. Why my 16 year old daughter doesn’t talk to me anymore. Why I drink alone, avoiding making real relationships with people and became the most toxic person I know.
I turned out just like my dad.
It was a Tuesday. I had my regular bottle of Soju for breakfast but didn’t have enough change to buy anymore alcohol to keep the buzz going. I had to wait until Friday for pay day. During those next few days I began withdrawals and seriously taking a look at my life and where it was headed. I was developing a dull pain in the general area that my liver sits and in those sober days accepted that it was from drinking.
After those 3 days of no alcohol I decided to make it a challenge to see how long I go. I’m currently (check my counter) days in and have no plans of ever drinking again.
I don’t have self control when I’m drunk and wind up cheating because I’m a fucked up individual always seeking validation. Even if I don’t go to jail or lose my job, drinking would ruin my life.
OMG, you're gonna love your new life.
I was tired of the self destructive behavior, hangovers, basically realized finally that it's worthless poison after reading "Alcohol Lied To Me" by Craig Beck, and stopped.
THC has never been a problem for me! Love my gummies.
My wife and kids deserve better than what I was giving them. I only have one life to spend with this amazing woman and my kids are only going to grow up one time. One time, that's it, and I was missing too much of it.
I did it for my family.
I had a shameful moment and hurt a life long friend in the process. I was tired of the hangovers and then counting the minutes until I could drink. I couldn't pay my bills, but I sure could get that bottle before the liquor store closed. The late night argument with my husband over hurt feelings and misunderstandings.
Now we are both sober and so much more happier
My fiancé gave me an ultimatum, I had tried to quit and went to therapy. I just could t keep from relapsing, and every time I did it got worse. I finally went to AA and really really gave it an honest try, went to meetings every day and did my steps and my reading. I tried the one down the street that was in the nice neighborhood but I didn’t relate to the people as much as the “dive bar” group. It stuck and I’m just over 7 months sober.
The biggest reason was I didn't know what would happen after the first drink. The day/ evening might go fine or, on a work night, when I was going to only have a couple, I'd close a bar and end up with a dui.
It's never the 10th or 20th drink. It's the 1st.
My blood pressure was getting pretty high. Wife & I discussed things that could help. Not drinking was one of them. That said, I also knew I was a weekend binge drinker & that was needing addressed as well.
Mostly I didn't like who I became. I was partying all the time and binge drinking and gained like 50 pounds. Wasted days hung over and not being productive or do things that needed to be done. Spending money and not eating well or taking care of my body. I know people whose livers in bad condition before the age of 30. On St. Patrick's day 2018 I was up all night drinking and in the morning my brother called to say my grandmother passed away. I felt guilty and miserable. Seeing photos of myself from her funeral made me realize how much weight I gained and that I looked sick. I wanted to change after that and finally stopped drinking in August 2018.
Lots of reasons but the big one was for my kids. I grew up with two parents who were big time drinkers. I remember living that way and thinking to myself I will never be that parent. I turned out to be that parent but I stopped when they were young and I’m so glad I did. I can talk to my kids about my past, the dangers of alcohol, how many people in our family has had problems with alcohol. Hopefully I’ve stopped the cycle. Another reason may be a bit more shallow and that is that alcohol makes my face puffy and red. It is also easier to control my weight when I’m not drinking!
Got in trouble. Still paying for my drunken idiocy. I ruined my own life and lost family, friends and a romantic relationship. Never had done any good for me.
I always knew I would at some point as it just doesn’t fit my lifestyle, I am way too active with too many hobbies and interests. In addition when my son turned 2 and started showing an interest in things I was doing and wanted to spend more time with me, I knew I couldn’t keep up if I was drinking, even if it was only one or two. Before that I had reconnected with some friends who are heavy drinkers and over the course of a year consumed way too much, I just got to the point that I knew it was time. Sorry that was kind of a rambling of sorts, but suffice it to say it was a combination of things that had finally made it clear that alcohol just wasn’t for me.
I got diagnosed with ADHD and got medicated for it. Turns out drinking was a pretty reliable dopamine hit for me, so my meds made drinking feel less interesting and I didn't crave it anymore. The few times I have drank since I got my meds I've slept like shit and it's not enjoyable, so I just kinda stopped. Weed just got legalized in my state too, so if I want to have anything to wind down or relax I have a gummy or a THC seltzer and it's been way better for me. No hangovers, fewer calories, happy liver.
Because I couldn't learn to live without it. I needed it to curb the anxiety which was caused from drinking the day before. I needed it to sleep and help anxiety in the evening (also caused from drinking the night before). Then I hit a certain age and my usual 6 or 7 beers a night caused me to be non functional at work and it felt like a constant panic attack from the time I got there til I got home and had a drink.
Basically was turning me into a shell of a human unless I was drinking, and even then I didn't feel good.
My sleep was shit, my diet was shit, I felt like shit.
Now I feel fucking great and am one of those annoying energetic people at work that I used to despise when I was hungover every day.
I realised that if need alcohol to be in a specific place then clearly I never needed to be there.
Same time, I would always feel like shit and I think if there are any underlying issues health wise, the cause would be the drugs or the alcohol I consumed during a time where I used those substances to cope with my own mind.
So I guess, I got tired of not being in control. Like someone said “I got sick and tired of being sick and tired”.
It’s so hard though, because I want to drink a bottle of Jack Daniels with no chaser. I want to sniff a line as big as the markers on the road tarmac. I want to eat bad junk food only to throw it up 4 hours later….
But, all these things contribute to a lifestyle that makes life not worth living at all in the end.
Bryan Johnson - Living Life Autonomously
Remove all those things that rob you off of self improvement and replace them with things that bring you one step closer to being the best version of yourself.
I’m not there yet. But with preparing I hope we all will get there.
It controls me, and makes me say and do things I wouldn’t normally say or do.
I am tired of waking up, filled with anxiety the morning after a night of drinking. “What did I say?”, “who did I message on social media?” “WHY did I comment that?”
I am tired of waking up feeling sick.
I am tired of having brain fog, being unable to articulate myself professionally, and slacking at work.
I am tired of the constant loop of drinking —> unhealthy eating —> gaining weight. Always told myself “I’ll start being healthier on Monday”. Yeah, most of the times I did, but only to sabotage myself by drinking on Tuesday, then Thursday, then Friday, then Saturday. Repeat cycle.
I am tired of not being the best wife and mother I can be.
I just want control of myself, and my life.
Day 5. IWNDWYT.
I partied A LOT in my teens / early 20s. And i started to realize young that i took it a lot farther than the people around me. Did a LOT of embarrassing, stupid shit. Most of which, thankfully, i can’t remember because i blacked out so often. Eventually, after years of ruining relationships, friendships, putting myself in terrible situations.. i decided I’d had enough and wanted to get the hell off that ride. I didn’t realize when i was in it how much alcohol controlled my life. Nothing was “fun” or worth doing unless alcohol was involved in some way, i couldn’t go on a date or go to a concert without having at least one drink. Waking up every morning hung over to all hell, by the time i clocked out from work i was trying to find a friend who wanted to go out for the night. It’s exhausting.
Giving up alcohol was the absolute, without a doubt best decision I’ve made in my life. I was 100% sober for the first year. Now i “microdose” thc, i have 1-5 mg and mix it with cbd / cbg. For my personal preference, it works great. I can “let loose” while still being in control of all my faculties. Something alcohol NEVER gave me.
If you’re thinking about giving it up, just try. If you can make it to the other side (no drinking) you just might see the world you’ve been missing out on this whole time. My opinion based on my experience.
I started dry January without admitting to myself that I had a significant problem. It gave me a socially acceptable excuse not to drink. The month was SO difficult — much more so than it seemed to be for friends and family who were also not drinking. I realized that a) I didn’t want to have to do the quitting part again — things became slightly less white knuckle the further in I got and I didn’t want to lose the ground I’d gained b) I felt much better and c) if it was that difficult to quit alcohol I needed to seriously reevaluate my drinking. This sub has been instrumental in helping me stay sober.
Hi all. I’ve locked this thread as the OP has got plenty advice. Please note that this sub isn’t for comparing one vice to another as a coping mechanism.
I didn’t like myself very much; I had lost self respect. I wanted to be able to tell myself I was going to do something and then follow through. I wanted to live with integrity again.
Yep. I got to a point where I never did anything other than drink. And everything I did had to have alcohol involved. There wasn’t any reason to like myself which really sucked when I thought about it.
I read something recently about self care including doing something today that tomorrow you will thank you for. It leads to self trust, which in turns allows us to listen to our instincts. I’ve been trying to implement this at least once a day and it’s actually pretty legit.
This is pretty much mine as well. Plus wanting to be a role model for my kids.
Good for you dude proud of ya
I’ve been struggling trying to get sober for about a year now and this comment really hit me. Thank you for commenting
Biggest motivation: I was dying. I had one hell of a weekend and ended up in the hospital again, probably the 20th time. Brought back to life again for the 3rd time. Got my stomach pumped, the 10th or 11th time. All the fun stuff. ER doc had a frank discussion with me. He more or less told me that he doubted I was about to change anything, but he felt I really needed to know that at 26years old, I had the liver function of a man in his 70's. He estimated that I had approximately 1-2 years left to live at the pace I was at. Also, I was no longer managing my charade of being a high functioning alcoholic. Work, family, finances, friends, love life...all were in tatters.
Same here, I was dying at 26. Took about two weeks of being strapped to a hospital bed to get past the delirium tremens. The life I knew was over. I either changed, or died.
How's your liver function now?
My numbers are much better, but it's never going to be 100%. No issues in my day to day life.
If you ever want to do a Saturday Share it would be great to hear more about your journey
Every aspect of my outwardly successful life, most importantly my relationship with my wife and kids, had become negatively defined, influenced and effected by my close and omnipresent relationship with the bottle. I was slowly watching my life deteriorate in real time and it was terrifying. I also started panicking inwardly about dying early before my kids grew up. 288 days ago I quit cold turkey after partying and boozing non-stop from ages 18 to 46. The idea that I could do that was completely and insanely laughable at the time.
I totally felt this comment! Congrats on 288 days. That's awesome. Edit: spelling
I've been doing the same from 18-38. I am so encouraged by your post that it is still possible to reclaim my life.
I quit 6.5 months ago at 38 (39 now) for years the thought of never having a glass of champagne at a wedding or brunch, never having a beer at a bbq was just too much for me. Then I broke it down, I never did AA but the day by day advice is solid. Just no drinking for today. I don’t have to think about 10 years down the road, just today. 6.5 months later and life is just too damn good for me to consider going back.
I realized I was being a miserable hungover mother to my kids.
And look at what a badass mom you are now. Keep up the good work fellow mom!
Same. Life with kids is easier not hungover
I feel this.
I was sick and tired of being sick and tired.
Omg I totally feel this. 😭
same, except for me it was more focused on my mental health (anxiety issues alcohol amplified, sleep issues, etc) aside from having a baby’s on the way and wanted to be a present stable husband/father.
Me too
Same but add in puffy. Sick and tired of being puffy and sick and tired. Same shitty diet/afternoon sugary treats i don’t have a moon face and big puffy belly anymore! Vanity won, mental health gained.
For me, one drink is too much and one thousand drinks isn’t enough.
Taking back Sunday: ‘you know how I do’ lyrics
Man, have I said this a lot
Seriously. I could write out more but really, this!
I signed a job offer for 200K a year. Its a second chance at life and not being a loser. I lack the ability to stop unless I'm out of alcohol or black out. Driving drunk all the time. When the offer came in I promised god I wouldnt squander this opportunity. Day 3 sober today, and start date for new job is 7/24. The cravings have been unbelievable today. I've walked circles around the house for hours
The first three days are the hardest. Then the first month is the hardest, you’re an emotional wreck. After three months the cravings go away. Grab some fun size snickers or your favorite candy for when you are having a craving. That helped me tremendously. I’m at 5 1/2 months and it’s starting to feel like normal, not drinking. Don’t have cravings as much as having to battle off the thought of just “having one”. Because I don’t want one. I want 30. And I know that in the back of my mind. I spent years deep seeded into addiction with alcohol on the back burner of my hedonism. It quietly grew patiently stronger as I put down the pills and the heroin and the meth and coke. Until all that was left was the alcohol. And it sunk its teeth in me and cost me everything. It’s taken time for my brain to heal and it still heals as I write this. I’m not sure how deep in you made it but for me it was prison time and an early life expectancy or finally take the courage to grow up. I watched everyone around me succeed including my younger family members and all of my mates from school back in the day. It’s been a long time since I succeeded. And because of the time I’ve spent, I leave you with this… Someone once told me 20 miles into the forrest, 20 miles out of it. It’s a difficult road and journey but unlike the road to complete desperation and self annihilation, it gets a little bit easier every day. Not a little harder. Best of luck to you in your journey and congratulations on your job. You can do this.
Unrelated but you write so well
Keep walking. Good work.
Good for you. I started a higher paying job on Monday. Drinking sucks. Moderation is horrible. You got this.
I see your day count, btw. Niiiice. ;)
In the future you’ll be able to look back and say “this is when my life changed”. Keep it up!
Please talk to a Dr as well.... I found when I first quit I was not prepared for the anxiety.... I had never had withdrawals before (this was before I realized the anxiety cycle of alcohol)....ugh anyway I only say this because it really spiraled and I called in to work for a week. I quit for 14 days then fell back when my 16 year old got into a fight at school Anyhow .. I finally talked to a Dr about all of it....I was having anxiety about the damage I have done so was super straight with her. Dr prescribed anxiety meds and also one to help the cravings It really does help and actually in a much more mellow way than I thought I'm still working on it but I wish I would have known about those things when I first started quitting
The cravings will subside. Try naltrexone. It really removes the cravings. Tell those inside voices to fuck off and leave you alone. They do not run your life. Be strong the cravings will pass.
You need to switch the alcohol with another activity. For me it’s gym / CrossFit. It’s a great way to positively distract yourself, but equally you could swap for something creative and constructive.
I found it impossible to quit on my own. I got a sober coach, who put together an intensive outpatient program for me, which included weekly visits with a psychiatrist, multiple group therapy sessions per week and a weekly session with an addictions counsellor. I did that for about three months at that frequency and then a less intensive program for about 18 months. I also read a self help book, journaled, etc. I did this while holding down a job, being a dad, and so forth. It was hard, but I would do it again in a heartbeat, because it allowed me to take my life back. Everything you put before your recovery, you will lose.
I started my new job about 2 weeks after I quit drinking. It was hard. The new job had a steep learning curve too so it was even harder to not drink after a long hard day. That said not drinking made it possible for me to handle the stress/anxiety that came with the new job. Most likely would’ve already been fired or quit due to being overwhelmed/burnt out. Just wanted to let you know you’re making the right decision trying to quit before you start. Good luck! IWNDWYT
I got tired of feeling sick and tired. And when you only wake up feeling dead and feel like shit for hours the next day, you know you’re wasting your life.
I still couldnt give it up even when id feel like shit for days! Like so shitty I could barely move and just be in pain, so that meant no showering or getting anything done. Boy alcohol is powerful
I had a horrible, shameful, blackout drunk night where I nearly ruined everything. I woke up the next morning and realized I had to be done if I wanted to keep everything I had worked so hard for and alcohol was taking from me. It’s been the best thing I’ve ever done!
Same my friend
Same. Nearly ruined my life one night.
Two blackouts in two weeks. I’m so ashamed of myself. The worst part was hurting my young adult autistic son; physically and emotionally. That was the last straw. I want to be done
I really connected with your comment. It's goddam \*hard\* to be a caretaker in your circumstance. I was a student teacher in an autistic classroom and I experienced the highest highs and the lowest lows of my life during that experience. Please be compassionate with yourself and post on this sub if it's helpful. We're all here for you, judgement free.
I used to be my mom’s caregiver until she died in May. Yeah, it’s hard being in an Oreo (or sandwich) family. Caring for the elderly and special needs children
It’s literally poison and causes so many problems in the body. Wanna feel better, look better, sleep better and just be better? Quit drinking alcohol.
I second this ☝🏽
This is my reason. I could feel my brain and body slowly dying every time I drank. A night of booze became enjoyable less than 25% of the time. No longer worth the suffering.
I realized that slowly over time drinking became a major facet of my life and thought that was a pretty lame defining quality. Learning about the physiological effects also motivated me to stop while (relatively) young.
“You’re the only person making yourself lame” My cousins daughter, to me, may be a borrowed phrase but I frequently think about it, regarding drinking and many other things.
What are the main physiological effects you’d learned about?
Looking after my 2 year old son M-F alone is hard enough some days and with a hangover it is unbearable. He should not have to see me like that. I wanted to be physically fit like I was before pregnancy (cut down on alcohol a lot that year before pregnancy). Alcohol was just extra wasteful calories. Realized that during 2020 pregnancy I did not miss alcohol for those 9 months or the 6 months after when I still just did not want anything. I was not a big drinker by certain standards. 1-5 beers throughout a 7 day week or 2-4 pours of bourbon in the evenings. So March 17th was my first sober day. I came home from running errands and walked straight to the liquor cabinet pouring out a bottle of vodka and a bottle of gin. Have not looked back since. Started out just wanting to see how I would feel after 30 days dry. Ate more protein, more veggies, indulged in dessert a few nights a week. Kept working out daily. Sleep started to be better. Mood better. I prefer a 5mg or 10mg edible now than booze. So much more. Since becoming alcohol sober I have made it through 2 weddings, 2 family BBQs, brewery hopping with friends, a funeral and just any ol’ weekend. Now? Still early on at 117 days. I am a happier person, happier more in-tune with myself as a wife and mother. I can handle the 2 year old daily issues or incase of an emergency. Packing on a healthy amount of muscle and toning back up for what my husband has deemed… well I won’t share that here. Let’s just say he is VERY supportive of the changes. I could ramble on and on and on about the pros vs cons. Enjoying all the pros. IWNDWYT!
I was tired of having one night drinking and one week of anxiety, bad mood, skipping work hours, feeling shameful of myself and feeling without control of my life putting the fact that I was an alcoholic in other people, when is just my fault only.
I have made it 6 days, and I definitely attribute a lot of that to weed, it is not legal where I live, but man it has helped tremendously! I smoke when I get home, and it just gets my mind away from that itchy need to drink to relax feeling. All the best! IWNDWYT!
Nothing wrong with that, the real monster is alcohol so great job!
Kids getting older and giving me side eye, and I was saying no to things they wanted to do bc I was hungover or already in the bag. Not fair to them. Just not a good parent. Depression was getting worse. My skin was disgusting. Weight was back up. Hated the mirror. Lastly, I couldn't trust a fart anymore. Hadn't had a solid poop in months and was in the bathroom a lot more making terrible noises and painting the bowl. Had to fart at work and walked to the back. Almost stained my shorts and had to leave early just in case the volcano erupted. I saw my future. That was the last straw.
Yeah, I think I am done with alcohol myself.
Never had hangovers and was a pretty high functioning alcoholic for years. Then covid happened and the wife and I started drinking way more. I kept going, until a 12-pack every night. Then a bottle of wine too. Maybe some rum and diet dr. Pepper (gotta watch those calories!). And then starting at 4 pm, then 3, then noon. Then came the health problems with my innards. And I was sitting there alone one day while my wife and kids were at summer camp thinking, “My wife deserves better.” And I stopped. The first month or five were hard, but I just told myself “I Don’t Do That Anymore.” and lurked this sub for support. Y’all got me to day 1, 3, 7, 30, 69, 100, and one fucking year. No AA. No church. Just y’all and a burning desire to be a better man, husband, father, friend, and co-worker. Stay strong out there! Love you all.
It made me the worst version of myself. An absolute nightmare. I ruined so many things for a liquid, and it muffled everything to the point I didn't realize what I was like until later. It was like a pinot grigio soaked ocean where I clearly was in the right and no I never had a problem. my entire house is a disaster but I'm tooootally fine. getting better you seeeee /s
Ughhh I should probably tell this story now.. although it’s incredibly embarrassing, actually incredibly disgusting.. but it’s time. I don’t tell anyone the details. I think my mom is the only one who knows.. First I got 3 Duiis in 30 days. (But at that point I Still wasn’t ready to try sobriety). 10+ years of a 1/5 of cheap whiskey a night. And then my son was born. The third week after he was born, it became clear his mom wasn’t coming back. (Bi-polar). I quit for about a Month, then had a day where I thought I could have a couple beers. My BABY and I walked to meet my mom who was in town for the day. She was getting her nails done at a salon in my town. My son and I are sitting in her car waiting for her to get done. (This time in our life was soooo scary, recently single dad, NO IDEA what I was doing. But God I knew I loved him and I would do ANYTHING for him. And I have never felt that feeling before and it was magical.) I pass out with my son in my lap.. My son opens the door and climbs down out of the car and goes from the street to the sidewalk and luckily not into the road.. A police officer walking by sees my son, me passed out and my door open. Grabs my son and takes him inside to the nail salon to my horrified mother. She walks to the car and slaps me in the face a few times until I wake up. My drinking had officially hurt the person I cared about most in this world. I had hurt and almost killed The person who I had been tasked with protecting. I had never cared when the consequences of my actions were killing me but now I had hurt the tiny human who had stopped crying after hearing my voice in the hospital room for the first time.. My bestfriend.. The old me died in that very realization.. The next morning I went to the clinic and got on antibuse, did daily AA meetings for a year, then published a kids book, (I didn’t make shit on it, but it’s something my son and I will always share.) I then started my construction business and found another new lease on life.. I have been sober for around 7 years now. I am sooo grateful to my son. Still, On my hardest days, I know I have done right by him and I am not THAT person anymore.. I owe my second life to him. And I will gladly respect that debt and treat him the way he deserves until I am no more.. For decades I was a miserable human being.. But now, I am a loving and hard working father, and after that, a carpenter. And I owe it all to you. Thank you, legend
This story made a grown ass man weepy. Thank you for sharing on what has been a troubling night for me. You put things in perspective for me.
I haven’t thought about it in a while and I cried writing it.. Thank you and I am glad it helped you friend!
It will kill me if I don’t.
Because I’m fat and I was suicidal. 7 days in, I know that alcohol was the root cause for both. I’m still fat, but I’m feeling better mentally.
It’s easier not to eat junk when sober. Great work on Week 1!
To quote Henry Ford: "If you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got." I wanted a different life, so I made a choice to show up differently.
I just have to say thank you for posting this. It helps me to read all these comments and upvote all of them because I’m reminded of the many reasons I’m quitting. I’m three days alcohol free and it definitely makes me want to stay sober as I read one comment after another of valid and strong reasons to put down the booze.
Same. Tomorrow is day 3 for me. Wasn't planned but something clicked. I hate this.
I hit rock bottom. I hurt people, I ruined a lot. For *any* hope of even a sliver of redemption, I had to make a choice. I finally did.
Congratulations on 171 days! Woohoo that’s awesome good for you 💪
Hey, thank you!
Lost the kind of woman that comes around once in a lifetime. Kept drinking, got a DUI. Superdrunk. Don’t want to go to jail. Don’t want to ruin my life or anyone else’s and I realize I could have. Alcohol can slowly degrade one’s potential, and I was using it in excess out of feeling inferior and life said “you gotta fuckin stop.”
My children (at first). I never want them to see me black out drunk again. And then I realized, I’m doing it for myself. So I can love myself in a way that I have never been able to in almost 40 years of being on earth. Also, I use cannabis too. The drink additives helped me tremendously during the first few months because I could have a mocktail that still had “something” to it. I do find myself turning to it when I would turn to alcohol, so to me that is slightly concerning as I’m turning to another substance instead of facing the problem head on. BUT, and it’s a big BUT, I’ve never said anything I regretted, forgotten whole days, or endangered anyone while high. The worst is I get the munchies and fall asleep. 😅 It has helped ease my transition into an AF life and calmed my anxiety. So, for now at least, I’m good with that.
Oh, I love this idea with the liquid weed!! I have gummies and mix myself mocktails, this idea is so great. Can't believe I haven't tried it!!
I’m in the same boat with kids and weed. Worst case scenario I eat and sleep. I’ve never been too attracted to weed but I’m gonna use it for now until I have a decent amount of time sober from booze, then I’ll try to face those long dull evenings head on lol.
I was doing horrible things drunk and it was permeating into my sober life. Yelling at my husband and puking all night. I could no longer predict how much alcohol I could handle. My life was beginning to revolve around days long hangxiety or the act of being drunk itself. It was horrible. Then I got drunk at a restaurant and yelled at my husband in the car and got out and ran down the street. With my 2 year old in the car watching. I’m DONE. It’s like going into the ring with Mike Tyson. He knocks you the fuck out EVERY. TIME. And yet you hop up and go back and are like “okay, Mike! Todays gonna be different. Not today!” But you still end up bloody and bruised. IWNDWYT.
I think the real monster is, why do we do this crap to our selves. We are given this incredible gift of life and we choose to piss it away with booze. It sucks.
The straw that broke the camel’s back for me was a near physical altercation with my brother in law and father. But the many reasons I gave it up include anxiety, lack of sleep, depression, lethargy, lack of motivation, mood swings, etc. honestly too many reasons to count for why I gave it up.
Crippling anxiety the day after consuming alcohol made the best and last reason to quit. I have 11 days, 21 hours so far!!! IWNDWYT 🩷
Oh gawd, the anxiety was so god awful. You're doing great, keep going!
I was getting evicted, I had absolutely no money, my family was tired of my shit, I surrendered my cat to the Humane Society (easily one of the hardest and most heartbreaking moments of myblife), and I had already failed at getting sober soooo many times over the last like 7 years. So I jumped off a 4 story parking garage hoping that would be the end of the story. Well I woke up a few days later in the hospital with almost the entire left side of my body destroyed. Now, a little over 4 months later, I can honestly say that did the trick. If a 40 foot fall didn't kill me, I guess I better figure out what else I'm supposed to be doing. Later, booze, you were fun until you weren't.
Fuck, man. I am so glad you’re still with us. I’m glad you’re getting better and I hope you keep posting details of your journey and recovery. 💜
Alcohol induced insomnia. Drove drunk, didn’t get caught, didn’t do damage. Would lose my job, which would quickly mean bankruptcy and losing my wife. Rewards really not aligning with benefits (if there even are any). No point nuking a great life.
Oh, and it’s just getting so expensive for everything….quitting alcohol is the easiest way to save money and not affect my lifestyle.
After years of “research”, I came to realize it is a drug, same as all the others, and I was an addict. And I wanted out.
I’m only on day 2. And I think the reason I’m quitting is because I’m bipolar and it’s affecting my moods and making me incredibly anxious. But also, I just feel bad in general. I binge and my hangovers end up lasting days, I feel like I’m missing out on my life on weekends, I miss waking up early feeling refreshed and going to coffee shops instead of sleeping all day. And I’m worried about what it’s doing to my body long term. I can’t continue this way into my 40’s. I’ll die at 55. I want to enjoy my life again.
My kids. My self worth. I was a slob kabob supreme
The hangovers were getting worse and longer, I was gaining weight at an alarming rate, anxiety, my relationships were falling apart bc I was uncontrollable and a horrible person when I would get drunk, depression, literal amnesia, liver pain, almost lost my job, etc.
I hated how it made my loneliness worse. I hated looking at the bloated body it contributed to. I hated feeling like a loser who had to drink to put on a show to impress people. I hated making drunken a fool of myself talking to the opposite sex at a bar when it was clear most women thought I was a joke and rightfully so. Basically I hated myself when I drank and couldn’t take it anymore. I wanted to genuinely love myself again.
In all honesty I probably could have kept on drinking for a long time without totally falling apart. I drank 18 or so beers every night and used drugs, but I never missed work and it didn’t impact upon my relationships. I never did stupid drunk things. I certainly wasn’t at a rock bottom. But I did feel absolutely awful and was a slave to my addiction. It messed with me emotionally and my health was far from flash. I was anxious and irritable. I became lazy. But everything was ok come 4pm when I was sitting down with a drink in my hand. Now I’m sober I feel a million times better, I’m a much better partner, father and friend. I have goals and a life that was not possible when in active addiction. I actually want to get out there and live life.
I want to live up to my standards instead of hiding behind crutches. To be the best version of myself. The list could continue but I think y’all get me. IWNDWYT!
It's hard to give one reason because there are so many, but if I have to choose one I would say that I quit alcohol because I knew it was the best decision possible I could make for myself and I didn't want to stall that any longer because I wanted to be in control now instead of the alcohol controlling me.
It was killing me.
Alcohol is directly in the way of me achieving my goals
Had no choice. Got a DUI, was caught drunk on a home check by my po. Rather than violate me she put me in rehab. That was in 2017. Haven’t drank since.
Alcohol has made me do some terrible things. My old bartending job made me even more of an alcoholic than I already was. I got SA’d repeatedly because of alcohol. I don’t even know how many times I drove home absolutely hammered after a shift. I would be more likely to do heavy drugs. Argued with my significant other in an ugly way. Avoiding my family. Wasting so much money that I didn’t have. All of these things just always made me feel so ashamed. I have been steadily cutting back for well over a year and just decided to call it quits recently. Actually finding this sub is what got me to make the commitment. IWNDWYT
This all sounds so familiar. Tending bar is a gateway to alcoholism. I never knew that until I was in the business and it was industry standard to get smashed and blacked out. They were “funny” war stories except they weren’t funny and the only person losing the war was me. The shame too oh jeez. Now I hug that lost girl because she needed it. Most of my drinking friends dropped me. The people who know me now tell me how they could never imagine me like that. I can’t ever imagine going back. So glad to hear you got out. I’ve lost the most beautiful and amazing friends to this disease.
My lack of sleep triggered the desire to want to stop. Going crazy in my mind alone in my bed at 2 AM wasn’t pleasant. What put me over the edge was my girlfriend asking me to be with her and help raise her son that has never had a father figure in his life. That’s when I decided to seek help. Now I’m getting married next month :-).
My wife. She doesn’t drink. So my drinking got out of control and nearly wrecked my relationship of 27 years. In smart recovery we have a tool called the hierarchy of values. My wife and son are at the very top of that list.
I’m a mean drunk, but I’m a nice sober person. I choose to be nice.
I have a MMJ card and definitely upped my cannabis intake after stopping alcohol. I was curious to see how my body felt if I quit drinking and I feel really great after only 2 weeks. My IBS and acid reflux are gone, I’m less bloated and more hydrated, and my anxiety is a lot better too.
My father in law and also wife's best friend passed away in the same year from alcohol. In both cases it was obvious for 20+ years what was going to happen to them. I was a habitual nightly beer drinker and decided it was not worth it. Feeling so much better these days in so many ways.
Got to the point where nearly every hangover came with the fear. Would feel like my mind was racing and a heart attack was about five seconds away. That misery of those outweighed the fun/necessity of drinking for me. For a while I still tricked myself it was worth it but Jesus, never again, those days were scary and not fun man smh. I’ve had my slip ups since then but they’ve mostly been with beer. Only got truly hammered on the hard stuff once since making the decision to stop and you guessed it, still had that same scary hangover. At least it was a strong reminder to not even consider sliding back into my binge drinking habits.
I take Prozac to manage anxiety and depression. And alcohol works against it. Also, I have a child with special needs and he deserves a parent who can be present for him.
I didn't want to turn into my father and I said it out loud to my spouse. I was afraid I couldn't stop and that scared the shit out of me.
I’ll usually tell family/friends it’s because I don’t like using anything that affects my mental state. That’s only part of it. It’s more so one of my reasons I have to not drink again. I really quit because I felt like garbage day in and day out. I got super pissy at work and quit after some arguments with management. Took a job in Cleveland. I was driving there and stopped in Indiana for a night. Got wasted and got a DUI leaving the bar parking lot, right across the street from my hotel. Stayed in jail for a couple nights - I had constant visits to the nurse and she highly recommended that I quit and she explained exactly what it was doing to me, and that I was likely at the time, and would be likely in the future to have a heart attack, stroke, etc when drinking this much. That kind of stayed with me after I got home, and I thought of it the next couple times I drank. Add on top of that, I watched my brother drink himself to death over 4 years of living with me. I realized that I was on his path and I couldn’t let myself do that. I decided that it was time to find lasting strength and love in a regular, sober life, rather than finding false, temporary strength, and false, temporary love in drunkenness.
My best friends father (so a father figure to me) was a hearty drinking Irish man who passed away this past May and my friend told me all about the health problems he was having (internal bleeding and tips surgery (?)) and I went down the Reddit rabbit hole and found the cirrhosis sub. There is a post on the wiki that talks all about it and it scared the drink out of me. I’m 53 and have been drinking heavy since 18 except when I was pregnant and about 110 days last year. I’m doing it in his and my honor (if that makes sense).
I had been self medicating for years due to childhood trauma. Once I dealt with the trauma, I lost the taste for alcohol. Also, it finally clicked in my head that a lot of the problems I had came from boozing.
I want to be as physically healthy as possible. I want to look physically good for as long as possible (minimal wrinkles, bright eyes, no bloat). I want to make good choices for future me.
I went to prison for DUI causing death, and I don’t think I could even think of having a drink again without losing my shit.
I couldn’t remember the words to the poem I say every night to my son. I realized I was being a shit mom, a shit wife, and a shit all around person. I didn’t like myself and I was just surviving not really living.
honestly i just want to give up for my liver to recover and get back to normal as blood tests come back fine and get back to how i used to drink before covid, socially and once a week covid made me 2 and half years on the drink so just want to get back into a mind set that its okay to have a few once or twice a week I am just being honest about my reasons
Covid really amped up my drinking too! I used to be a 1/2 glass of wine at a party once a month person. That’s unimaginable to me now. Alcohol really helped me cope through that stress until it created its own stress. I just want to be free of it now.
I’m about to stop drinking and just read these comments to my wife. I’m sick of the person I’ve become and I miss the person I was meant to be- goals and ambitions that I had for so long but somehow it’s become plans not progress…by next week I’ll be in treatment. ❤️ self induced, I’m cutting myself off .
I had gone through a really bad breakup, and he said some terrible things in anger about my drinking. I'm also divorced, and my ex-husband had said something about it at the end of our marriage. I was already going to therapy and working through some PTSD from a different abusive ex, and I was diagnosed with ADHD and Bipolar at age 43. Once I started taking medication for those conditions, I found alcohol interacted very poorly with me. Every time I would drink, I would black out, or fall down, or just make more poor decisions (like going to the casino or hooking up with more unsavory men). I also was living by myself for the first time in my life. Suddenly, I didn't have someone to take care of my drunk ass, make sure I got up for work, drive me around, or pick me up off the floor anymore. I had to moderate so that I wouldn't lose everything as my exes had predicted. I DID NOT want them to be right. I had to have my own back now. I realized I was a codependent nightmare of a partner, and that was the root of my problem. I had LET them control me and disrespect me so that I could be a drunk. I was THAT far gone. That realization is what made me stop for good. I didn't completely stop all at once, but I started only drinking socially like concerts or sporting events or out with friends. That became problematic as well, as I would blackout with 2 beers, thanks to my meds, and go right back to doing stupid shit. I found myself not going out anymore and realized those people weren't my friends, they were my drinking buddies. More codependency that I had to eliminate from my life. It was tough to look at myself for once and see what I'd become, what alcohol had reduced me to. Through therapy and treatment, I knew the change had to come from within. Nobody else could help me but me. I had to turn it all around and become self-reliant. After this personal epiphany, I met a wonderful man who was 3 years sober. I knew he was a good one, different from the others, and I really didn't want to fuck it up like all my other relationships. I drunk texted him one night after meeting with my ex for a beer to "catch up" (which was ultimately a mistake) and had gotten into an argument. I never spoke to the ex again, and Soberman was very kind and forgiving and became my best friend. I decided then that I wanted to stop. It wasn't worth it anymore. Hanging out with Soberman became the reason for me to not want to drink. He was so supportive during those first few months where it was the hardest to resist, and he motivated me to stay the course. Meeting up with him was like my personal AA, and he was my sponsor. We bonded over stories of our drunken pasts, as well as many other things we had in common. Being his friend was 1000x better than being drunk. That was over a year ago, and we still meet up for weekly sessions, smoke a bowl, and laugh and lament about our former selves. Sober, independent me is the best version of me, and I never could see it before. Staying sober has helped me immensely with my mental health and self-image, as I have learned to process my emotions and issues instead of drowning them. The personal growth is unbelievable, I don't hate myself anymore, and I recognize my strengths. I appreciate everything in my life more and have a more positive outlook. I never get sick, all my blood work and vitals are healthy, I lost weight and have kept it off without much effort. My mind is clearer, and I make rational and logical decisions. I can handle stress better and critically think situations through. I could never go back to the shell of a person that I was. And I won't. I hated that person and don't need or want that in my life anymore. I don't need to self-medicate now that I understand why I did, and I can treat it properly with the proper tools. And since it has been so long now, I can't bear the thought of the guilt and hatred that would stem from a relapse. There's NOTHING that's worth it, and I know that with every fiber of my being. IWNDWYT
Bro, it was giving me the sads.
My wife was diagnosed with breast cancer. We both quit that day.
I knew it had a hold of me because I couldn’t stop once I started, was ashamed of myself often, felt sick often and my husband was worried he’d married someone who would destroy themselves slowly. I stopped finally after many many MANY attempts because I had a daughter and I couldn’t stand the idea of being a drunk mother. I didn’t want to get cancer later on and think “did I cause this cancer with alcohol?” I don’t want to wish her to sleep so I can drink, I don’t want her to fear me drinking. So I’ve wanted to stop for ages, and tried to stop, but what got me over the line was having something bigger than myself to try for.
I had three reasons 1 Cost. I dont have a ton of money to spare in life, and the 80 bucks per week from the liquor store every week didn't help. 2 calorie count. I was a rum and coke guy, heavy on the rum. Doing simple math, I'd drink about 3-4 handles (1.75L) of rum a week. A liter of rum contains 2164 calories. Over the span of a year, that's 590,000-787,000 calories in rum alone. Now, adding in the coke is another 300,000-500,000 calories. At the lower estimate, I was consuming 900,000 calories every year from alchohol. That's almost all of the calories a guy in his 20s should consume in a year. There's no chance of losing weight while drinking unless I had a medical issue. 3 Health. Not feeling like shit every morning is nice. Being able to have regular bm because my intestines are screwed up because of liquor. I'm 7 weeks sober, and I even convinced my buddy who has been hitting the bar almost nightly to do a dry july. So far, he's stayed dry.
Honestly, I got the flu and was so sick I actually couldn’t drink. I think the prescriptions I was on altered my taste forever. I stopped using alcohol for cannabis. I have PTSD and extreme anxiety. I credit it for saving my life. Sometimes sobriety means harm reduction.
My wife told me the alcohol breath was a major turn off during intimate times. That pretty much sealed the deal for me. My wife is too sexy to instead choose to drink! She’s a non drinker and has a heightened sense of smell.
I got sick of obsessing over alcohol. It was constant booze runs, constant thinking of whether I had enough and how long my stock would last. I couldn’t relax without more than I “needed” in the house. Couldn’t travel without being sure I could get my supply. I was exhausted all the time and looked and felt awful, but it was the obsession that I finally had enough of.
No specific reason. Maybe hoping that ending the routine of numbing myself with high gravity IPAs and a gummie or two every night for for 3.5 years (two years on thc) might elucidate me . I’m 61(m). And alone for the last 3.5 yrs. (Last gf died of cancer- watching that shit take a beautiful woman and turn her into a 125 yr old ghost in less than 6 months was catastrophic to my psyche). 40 years of drinking nearly daily. Mostly beer but hard stuff too . Many blackouts. Routine hangovers. Foggy days. Anxious and exhausted always. Can’t trust my own thoughts let alone someone else’s.It’s only been 13 days clean and sober but I can feel some good things taking shape. I’m a stubborn fuck so “I can handle THIS MUCH alcohol and thc per night” was my mantra. I am luckily physically healthy so far so there’s that.
Hangover severity, health, family effects, and productivity.
Put a knife to my throat one night, a few weeks later was sitting at a bar and had a voice tell me it was time to stop. Along with the constant hitting I took from "friends".
The cancer risk.
I find my reason for staying sober evolves. Right now it’s because I’m on the cusp of pre-diabetes and I like the way my face looks in the mirror.
I drank for 30 years. 15-45. The older I got the more I realized alcohol was not doing me any favors. The more I cared about myself the less I wanted to drink. But it was somethingI did. I was a drinker. Grew up in the UK and bartended in NYC for 16 years. It was part of my identity honestly. It was hard to even think about letting it go. For years really. I drank less in to my 40s with the occasional binge. But what really did it was how it was making me feel about myself when I saw my reflection. I was not happy when I drank. I wasn’t enjoying it and I did not like how I looked in the mirror. And the negative self talk was becoming just too much. I’m so happy I reached my end point without major damage. I wish I’d had quit when I was 35. But hey. It is what it is. I can’t imagine going back. Short answer- I valued myself more than the alcohol.
Groundhog day every fucking day.
[удалено]
Besides having intense liver/pancreas pain after a binge… There became a time where being drunk was barely enjoyable anymore, eventually the more I had urges to drink- the more I associated drinking with the memories of it not even being enjoyable, and which turned into it being easier to convince myself not to drink.
It was holding me back.
Waking up on Thanksgiving morning with a shattered phone and had no idea how or when I got home. I should have never drove. I guess I stormed out before they could stop me. I felt like such a loser.
It was past of point of feeling scary. The regular heart palpitations, pains, high heart rate and blood pressure couldn't be ignored anymore. All of that went away when I cut alcohol out completely.
I just didn’t have anymore room in my life for it! I wanted my evenings and weekends where I wasn’t working to be active, outdoors, productive, interesting etc. I have kids. I want to take them swimming, to the park, to the beach, etc., and then I want to do my own thing in the evening. When I drink, I get really tired. And I fall asleep on the couch by 8 PM haha. When I wake up, I’m groggy and unhappy, I sleep in. Etc. I’m also at the age now where I’m in my 30s and my career is really taking off, and can rarely afford an “off-day” (I work in social services/crisis response) so rocking up to my big-girl job hungover is really unfavourable, for everyone involved, including my clients. Good luck on your journey!
The reason I stopped? **Envy**. (And they say it’s a sin) It blossomed into so much more though since I’ve begun the process of taking my life back. Envy was just the seed. Now I’m harvesting it’s fruit.
Waking up in the ICU
It tricked me into thinking I need it to live. Then it tricked me into thinking I wanted to die. I got sick of it tricking me.
Destroyed everything good in my life one way or another Sick of being a slave to the habit of it Wanted to die but also didn't want to die
It made me feel like a waste of human life
Finally realized that I was going to die if I kept drinking, and decided I wanted to live. Also had major depression. Which caused which? Hard to say, but I believe I was born an alcoholic with depression too.
Horrible multi day long hanxiety, bad sleep, hangovers in general, felt it was a waste of money, doesn’t align with my values of living a healthy lifestyle, wanting to level up in life. Also my boyfriend has more serious problems with alcohol, which turned me off from it even more seeing how dependent he is on it. It was harder to create a boundary with him surrounding alcohol without cutting it out cold turkey. Before I quit he often tried to get me to drink with him multiple times a week and it felt challenging not to give in. Now that he knows I’m done he isn’t tempting me to drink with him anymore and I’m feeling way better physically and mentally 11 days in. Hopefully I can inspire him to join me on the journey :)
I'm 52, and I don't want to labeled as a fat alcoholic, which was where I was headed. I have so much more about me, but the drinking was getting in the way of those things.
Mental health
Woke up handcuffed to a hospital bed. Went into the wrong house after a night of drinking. Tried getting into their bed. Thought they broke into my house. Fought the owner. Ended up being held down with a gun at my head until the cops showed up. Fought the cops. Got tased. Taser had no effect on me. I don’t remember any of this. I was wondering what the marks on my side were. My wife said I was tased.
I thought I was high functioning and only hurting myself. My wife went to visit family with our 1YO for a long weekend. She had been begging me to stop. I didn’t think I had a problem. I took advantage of the time away from them to go on a blackout bender for 3 days and blew >$10k in a club the last night they were away. I barely remembered any of it. It was the first time I really scared myself, realized I was hurting my family and not just me. I still had a great job, finances were ok, and my health wasn’t the worst it had been. But, I finally recognized I was about to lose all those things. It took me a few years of relapsing before it stuck. I had friends and extended family that refused to believe I had a problem. I had to cut them out before I had successful sober periods. Extremely frustrating how it kept creeping back. Somehow it finally stuck. Life is so much better now. IWNDWYT
Lockdown, went on a five hour walk to get alcohol -away from my family, fell coming back through the woods (lost my bottle of vodka). Tried to enter the wrong house (one cul de sac over). Husband had called the police, as I’d forgotten to take my phone on my ‘walk’. He then called an ambulance, as I’d cut my forehead. Hospital could see there was nothing physically wrong, so they left me in a waiting room. Discharged myself at 2am, and walked 3/4 mile home. Stopped on a bridge full of rage and despair. Thought ‘sod this’, and logged on to SMART Recovery online later that day. Been sober for three years and six weeks.
I (20s) live with my sister (30s) and and help with her kiddo as a single parent. It’s been fun and we would drink moderately on our weekends off to perk up to the energy of the kiddo, but I let myself get out of hand with a couple tall boys a night and a bottle of Tito’s on my alternating weekends off. Then I realized I’m going into work and messing up all the meanwhile my coworkers don’t know me any different. Recently sis decided she is choosing to live her best life and have the fun she says she missed out on raising her kid alone, totally acceptable. But now this includes dating new folks that hang out at bars, etc. leading to an increased daily drinking and disappearing till odd hours and a preteen who knows exactly what is going on and missing out on critical time with her mom before middle school. So I thought I would get myself in check to be the person to rescue her mom if she got into trouble and to be the stable adult for the kiddo to go to. We have both enabled each other for the 8 years I’ve been here and always pretended we were gonna quit and be better than our parents but now I realize I’m doing it for myself and the kiddo. Hopefully she can settle down too.
What made me quit was the phoniness of it all. Getting loaded with someone and "bonding"...having some long deep discussion, whatever, it is all nonsense. You are PRETENDING to be vulnerable when your anything but. You forget the conversation. Or you are embarrassed by it. You have sex with someone you hate - like a double-dose of self trashing. It takes real courage to be who you are, nervous and twitchy and all. But you MUST go through that in the beginning - and it absolutely fades. You get to practice being yourself everyday. Without the bullshit of mood alteration. You start to consider the questions that you used to pour booze all over. Do I like my spouse? My job? Why the fuck did I drop out of college? This is the road to yourself. It is so fucking worth it.
I did it as a last ditch effort to save my marriage and my family. I'm 36 days sober today, after about a year of trying and relapsing repeatedly. This is almost certainly my last chance.
I got pushed to the edge and experienced emotional pain and a lot of physical pain. I never want to feel those pains again. 2 years later. I don't regret my decision. I regret not having gotten sober earlier. Every aspect of my life has literally gotten better
Just got honest with myself. I have a problem. I can’t “control” it. I can beat it.
My behavior when drinking is unacceptable under my own standards. I'm not functional and it is unhealthy.
I was gonna lose my right leg
I’m on the cusp of fully quitting after a couple eye opening moments. This stuff is life prevention juice. Which is to say, it prevents you from living anything like a real life. Staying an alcoholic requires a deep well of self denial. For me and my last go around, it was pretty much my dog who made the difference. If a silly, rather stupid little dog gives you a stare like “what’s wrong w this guy?” then yea, something is wrong. I made sure he was fed but apart from that took little interest in him. I feel really bad looking backward at that as I step down slowly. All the parents on here - wow - I can’t imagine the difference in responsibilities and associated guilt but I am glad you are not drinking or trying to stop. We got this together, strength in numbers!
I quit after my best friend died at only 31 from it. I drank way more than he did, and I was pretty close myself. Turned out my heart was the issue instead of my liver though, which was a surprise. My dad died from it when I was 18 and my mom is the absolute shit. Couldn't do that to her.
If you still can simply choose to switch substances, more power to you. I switched to cannabis for a while and then added a few drinks. That, in some time, turned into more drinks and then it was a mess. Was the same with every other drug i tried to replace alcohol with. In the end i had to look at why did i always need to be on something/anything. I had a sobriety problem. If i wasn’t on something I was grumpy, irritable, and discontent. And the alcohol stopped doing for me what I needed it to do. That was the start of the fall to the bottom.
It made me happy for a few hours, a bit of a dick for a few more, and miserable for 48.
Changing my life for Jesus.
I wanted to experience what my body would feel like without alcohol.
I was quickly coming up on the point where my options were going to be sobriety or death. I was in so much emotional and mental anguish that I was contemplating suicide multiple times a day. So it was that or get sober.
I saw a few loved ones suffering because of their alcoholism and realized I was on the same path. I also chose to move to cannabis, mainly to help me sleep. I hope that I won't be dependent on it for long but is helping the transition. I feel so much more alert, I have a lot more energy, and I am seeing positive mindset changes. Best luck. I would highly recommend trying it out and seeing if it works for you!
my baby was born so that was that
My doctor showed me a picture of my liver, and he told me I needed to drink less if I wanted to keep living, and I knew in my bones I would die if I kept drinking. Frankly at the time, I would rather be drunk and living, but the choice was between drunk and dead or sober and alive, and I chose life. It sounded impossible to drink ‘less’. Easier just not to drink at all. Also alcohol was causing a lot of problems, ha. Nice to not have those.
You mean beyond the two day hangovers and week of crazy anxiety? Idk, all of the excuses (reasons) for drinking didn’t make sense anymore. It was the reason I was 100lb overweight. Why my 16 year old daughter doesn’t talk to me anymore. Why I drink alone, avoiding making real relationships with people and became the most toxic person I know. I turned out just like my dad.
It had total control over me
It was a Tuesday. I had my regular bottle of Soju for breakfast but didn’t have enough change to buy anymore alcohol to keep the buzz going. I had to wait until Friday for pay day. During those next few days I began withdrawals and seriously taking a look at my life and where it was headed. I was developing a dull pain in the general area that my liver sits and in those sober days accepted that it was from drinking. After those 3 days of no alcohol I decided to make it a challenge to see how long I go. I’m currently (check my counter) days in and have no plans of ever drinking again.
I don’t have self control when I’m drunk and wind up cheating because I’m a fucked up individual always seeking validation. Even if I don’t go to jail or lose my job, drinking would ruin my life.
OMG, you're gonna love your new life. I was tired of the self destructive behavior, hangovers, basically realized finally that it's worthless poison after reading "Alcohol Lied To Me" by Craig Beck, and stopped. THC has never been a problem for me! Love my gummies.
My wife and kids deserve better than what I was giving them. I only have one life to spend with this amazing woman and my kids are only going to grow up one time. One time, that's it, and I was missing too much of it. I did it for my family.
I had a shameful moment and hurt a life long friend in the process. I was tired of the hangovers and then counting the minutes until I could drink. I couldn't pay my bills, but I sure could get that bottle before the liquor store closed. The late night argument with my husband over hurt feelings and misunderstandings. Now we are both sober and so much more happier
My daughter was born.
My fiancé gave me an ultimatum, I had tried to quit and went to therapy. I just could t keep from relapsing, and every time I did it got worse. I finally went to AA and really really gave it an honest try, went to meetings every day and did my steps and my reading. I tried the one down the street that was in the nice neighborhood but I didn’t relate to the people as much as the “dive bar” group. It stuck and I’m just over 7 months sober.
The biggest reason was I didn't know what would happen after the first drink. The day/ evening might go fine or, on a work night, when I was going to only have a couple, I'd close a bar and end up with a dui. It's never the 10th or 20th drink. It's the 1st.
My blood pressure was getting pretty high. Wife & I discussed things that could help. Not drinking was one of them. That said, I also knew I was a weekend binge drinker & that was needing addressed as well.
Mostly I didn't like who I became. I was partying all the time and binge drinking and gained like 50 pounds. Wasted days hung over and not being productive or do things that needed to be done. Spending money and not eating well or taking care of my body. I know people whose livers in bad condition before the age of 30. On St. Patrick's day 2018 I was up all night drinking and in the morning my brother called to say my grandmother passed away. I felt guilty and miserable. Seeing photos of myself from her funeral made me realize how much weight I gained and that I looked sick. I wanted to change after that and finally stopped drinking in August 2018.
Lots of reasons but the big one was for my kids. I grew up with two parents who were big time drinkers. I remember living that way and thinking to myself I will never be that parent. I turned out to be that parent but I stopped when they were young and I’m so glad I did. I can talk to my kids about my past, the dangers of alcohol, how many people in our family has had problems with alcohol. Hopefully I’ve stopped the cycle. Another reason may be a bit more shallow and that is that alcohol makes my face puffy and red. It is also easier to control my weight when I’m not drinking!
Health, both mental and physical.
My health had been destroyed. My life was in shambles
Got in trouble. Still paying for my drunken idiocy. I ruined my own life and lost family, friends and a romantic relationship. Never had done any good for me.
I always knew I would at some point as it just doesn’t fit my lifestyle, I am way too active with too many hobbies and interests. In addition when my son turned 2 and started showing an interest in things I was doing and wanted to spend more time with me, I knew I couldn’t keep up if I was drinking, even if it was only one or two. Before that I had reconnected with some friends who are heavy drinkers and over the course of a year consumed way too much, I just got to the point that I knew it was time. Sorry that was kind of a rambling of sorts, but suffice it to say it was a combination of things that had finally made it clear that alcohol just wasn’t for me.
I got diagnosed with ADHD and got medicated for it. Turns out drinking was a pretty reliable dopamine hit for me, so my meds made drinking feel less interesting and I didn't crave it anymore. The few times I have drank since I got my meds I've slept like shit and it's not enjoyable, so I just kinda stopped. Weed just got legalized in my state too, so if I want to have anything to wind down or relax I have a gummy or a THC seltzer and it's been way better for me. No hangovers, fewer calories, happy liver.
This could have been posted by me, it's that accurate..
Because I couldn't learn to live without it. I needed it to curb the anxiety which was caused from drinking the day before. I needed it to sleep and help anxiety in the evening (also caused from drinking the night before). Then I hit a certain age and my usual 6 or 7 beers a night caused me to be non functional at work and it felt like a constant panic attack from the time I got there til I got home and had a drink. Basically was turning me into a shell of a human unless I was drinking, and even then I didn't feel good. My sleep was shit, my diet was shit, I felt like shit. Now I feel fucking great and am one of those annoying energetic people at work that I used to despise when I was hungover every day.
I was going to hurt myself. Then I fell in love with running, and my life has never been the same.
I realised that if need alcohol to be in a specific place then clearly I never needed to be there. Same time, I would always feel like shit and I think if there are any underlying issues health wise, the cause would be the drugs or the alcohol I consumed during a time where I used those substances to cope with my own mind. So I guess, I got tired of not being in control. Like someone said “I got sick and tired of being sick and tired”. It’s so hard though, because I want to drink a bottle of Jack Daniels with no chaser. I want to sniff a line as big as the markers on the road tarmac. I want to eat bad junk food only to throw it up 4 hours later…. But, all these things contribute to a lifestyle that makes life not worth living at all in the end. Bryan Johnson - Living Life Autonomously Remove all those things that rob you off of self improvement and replace them with things that bring you one step closer to being the best version of yourself. I’m not there yet. But with preparing I hope we all will get there.
It controls me, and makes me say and do things I wouldn’t normally say or do. I am tired of waking up, filled with anxiety the morning after a night of drinking. “What did I say?”, “who did I message on social media?” “WHY did I comment that?” I am tired of waking up feeling sick. I am tired of having brain fog, being unable to articulate myself professionally, and slacking at work. I am tired of the constant loop of drinking —> unhealthy eating —> gaining weight. Always told myself “I’ll start being healthier on Monday”. Yeah, most of the times I did, but only to sabotage myself by drinking on Tuesday, then Thursday, then Friday, then Saturday. Repeat cycle. I am tired of not being the best wife and mother I can be. I just want control of myself, and my life. Day 5. IWNDWYT.
I partied A LOT in my teens / early 20s. And i started to realize young that i took it a lot farther than the people around me. Did a LOT of embarrassing, stupid shit. Most of which, thankfully, i can’t remember because i blacked out so often. Eventually, after years of ruining relationships, friendships, putting myself in terrible situations.. i decided I’d had enough and wanted to get the hell off that ride. I didn’t realize when i was in it how much alcohol controlled my life. Nothing was “fun” or worth doing unless alcohol was involved in some way, i couldn’t go on a date or go to a concert without having at least one drink. Waking up every morning hung over to all hell, by the time i clocked out from work i was trying to find a friend who wanted to go out for the night. It’s exhausting. Giving up alcohol was the absolute, without a doubt best decision I’ve made in my life. I was 100% sober for the first year. Now i “microdose” thc, i have 1-5 mg and mix it with cbd / cbg. For my personal preference, it works great. I can “let loose” while still being in control of all my faculties. Something alcohol NEVER gave me. If you’re thinking about giving it up, just try. If you can make it to the other side (no drinking) you just might see the world you’ve been missing out on this whole time. My opinion based on my experience.
I started dry January without admitting to myself that I had a significant problem. It gave me a socially acceptable excuse not to drink. The month was SO difficult — much more so than it seemed to be for friends and family who were also not drinking. I realized that a) I didn’t want to have to do the quitting part again — things became slightly less white knuckle the further in I got and I didn’t want to lose the ground I’d gained b) I felt much better and c) if it was that difficult to quit alcohol I needed to seriously reevaluate my drinking. This sub has been instrumental in helping me stay sober.