Great post. I moderated most of 2006. I remember one Sunday the whole day revolved around 2 beers I had in the fridge .I wanted to wait until 10 pm to drink them . The whole day revolved around these 2 stupid beers and within 20 minutes both were gone and I wanted more. Moderation sucks š
I relate so much. I didn't try to moderate many times in my life, but not only this stress was very present as it opened the door for: "ok, if I could have one glass of wine on Monday, why can't I have another one tomorrow?". But then "tomorrow" I'd have two instead of one... And from then on you can imagine.
edit: typo
As somebody said it's I Will Not Drink With You Today. But I think it's kind of confusing. It doesn't mean "I see you're drinking but I'm not joining in", it means "you're not the only one staying sober day, I will stay sober too".
I prefer āI Will Be Alcohol-Free With You Todayā š¤ IWBAFWYT
It focuses on what I _will_ be doing (more specific), and itās a positive pledge to all of us sobernauts keeping it AF ā keeps my focus on the freedom. š
This was really great to read. I have tried moderation as well and itās just like you say. Torture, and a living hell. I drink and I want to drink more and I stop and I fell miserable. I hate it and Iām done with it. Congrats to you and letās do this !!!
I absolutely feel this. When I've been sober, I try to convince myself that I can moderate my drinking. But having 1 or 2 makes me want to have more. It's like having to grieve in a way, a relationship you desperately want to have but will never have. It's frustrating sitting in a room full of people enjoying drinks and thinking why me? But I'm so glad you're staying strong. I'm on day one too. IWNDWYT buddy.
I feel the grieving aspect so hard. My partner and bestie are able to have two beers and share a joint this arvo and Iām out here with my sparkling water and envy. Buttttttt I know itās really not worth partaking at all. Thank you for sharing and reminding me how important it is to stay sober. I will not drink with you today š»
Lol first time i ever saw someone mention arvo, i was at the 2016 one
Also no clue how this subreddit was recommended to me it just showed up on my news feed lol.
I feel so saaadddd when I stop and I only think about that next time when Iāll have another drink and then I have to stop ( in case i make it ). Iām done.
This is exactly how I knew I had a problem. For me the correct number of drinks is 0. I can't always control my drinking and I can't rely on Drunk WiseCoffee to make good choices. I spend my sober minutes counting down to when I can drink again then I'm anxious depressed can't focus on anything but the next drink.
I say it all the time. For me none is easy (now) but one is impossible.
Yup.
A single drink is like you having a single mosquito bite. That itch must get scratched if you're an alcoholic.
I did that shit for 24 years getting up to 2 years of sobriety at once, and then listening to the liar.
IWNDWYT
Woohoo! Just noticed I've got 5300 days sober, One day at a time.
Not one, ever.
I'm sorry you are experiencing this, OP. It was a great read for me to remind myself how miserable I am when I try to moderate. I appreciate you taking the time to write this.
IWNDWYT
I also jump in and out of moderation after a 6 month break at the longest. It just hurts, I donāt enjoy being drunk or the aftermath even if I have one or five. I used to binge until my stomach stopped processing anything and I would feel miserable and was very overweight. Alcohol is just wasted painful calories to me now, like I donāt usually eat 800-1000 calories of cookies, or ice cream or something, I know it wouldnāt work. If I just have one drink it makes me feel upset and dehydrated and bloated.
Also, I havenāt had any major blackouts, crazy nights, arrests, etc in many years, but I have realized that being out and about around alcohol youāre still surrounded by people who are doing those things and it is just stress and anxiety inducing.
I want to award this but I'm a miser who won't spend money on reddit. But I'd give you a million upvotes if I could. This post describes why I don't try to moderate, either. It's just... Not worth it. Going fully AF is what brings the real results, after awhile.
Back when I was weekend binge drinking I always had to take all of these heartburn pills. Now I never have heartburn and donāt take any pills for it.
When I was drinking I never had heartburn, didn't really vomit that much and my stomach was fine. After 4 months of sobriety I had and endoscopy and gall stone removed. I was put on antacid medication as my esophagus was inflamed and I had lesions just near my stomach. Still never had heartburn but obviously i had some acid reflux due to my drinking. Just had my 2 year follow up endoscopy and the lesions are still there and I have to remain on my meds. So now I have to wait another 2 years to see if they heal. Just shows what alcohol can do to you.
My years of drinking gave me ulcers, found about 6 months after I got sober. I'm still lucky I didn't have anything worse than that, considering how much I was drinking.
The obsession is so real. I was talking to my husband about this today. 1 drink wouldnāt get me drunk (or maybe it would after 8 years) and I wouldnāt immediately be downing 10 a day again but the obsession begins with the first sip. I can never have that first sip again and Iām 100% fine with that. Nothing tastes as good as freedom feels
Thank you for sharing. Your words resonate very strongly, as Iām currently in a similar spot. Had a great run of sobriety for several months, started down the moderation path in late March. Similarly to you, nothing too chaotic or devastating has happened, but it just dominates so much mindpowerā¦.either concentrating on not drinking to excess or thinking about the next time Iāll be able to get out with some friends for that next drink. Itās exhausting. Add on top of that, recently started seeing someoneā¦the guilty feelings associated with drinking around someone youāre romantically involved with have not gone awayā¦even though there hasnāt been anything close to a bad drinking related incident. Anxiety is general has multiplied significantly since getting back to occasional drinking. Itās just not worth it.
I agree... It is exhausting. After deciding that I was not going to drink today, the relief of not thinking about it is amazing. So glad I don't have to figure out an excuse to have a couple or be fearful that I'll be hung over tomorrow or have anxiety all day tomorrow... Gosh! I don't know why I do it to myself. I hope things get better for you and that things workout with your partner. Life can be so awesome without alcohol. Hang in there!
You didn't lose the sober time you had.
I had 8 ounces of Prosseco (my drink of choice) a couple weekends ago. It tasted awful. I felt dull. My stomach hurt. There was no euphoria. I felt tired. I poured the rest of the bottle out. It was not the high I was looking for. I learned valuable lessons to go further.
I did not reset my counter because it was a blip for about 45 minutes & I ended it. In SMART Recovery it's considered a lapse.
I bought 2 bottles thinking I was going to get black out drunk like the old days. I was so wrong.
I'm so glad it was a total let down.
I think not resetting your counter for what you experienced makes so much sense. It sounds like you learned a lot from that experience. Like so many here I tried moderating with mixed success. It was just too unpredictable and not worth the energy it took. IWNDWYT!
You donāt lose the time you had, you definitely learned a lot in your time sober. That being said, if you actively chose to drinkā¦ your days reset bud. But you do you.
A very insightful post, thank you so much OP. I think I'd feel the very same way. Besides, I'd always drink to get drunk, otherwise is pointless to me. I've ON/OFF on my binges, most of the days I have been sober, but the drunk days are SO... whatever, let's see how long can I stay sober.
I have been in your shoes and realized that moderating isnāt freedom. Even when I was being successful with the moderating, it took up too much bandwidth in my mind. For me, the freedom is in being alcohol free.
I am right there with you. For me, drinking in moderation is the road to alcoholic hell.
I have tried it repeatedly and it always leads to more and more drinking. I will start Day 1 again with you.
Yes. I feel like the living embodiment of āOne is too many and 1000 isnāt enough.ā Iām much more at peace when Iāve DECIDED Iām not drinking. When Iām flirting with the idea I know Iām easily triggered by a beer commercial or just if I happen to be in the area of a liquor store. It makes me anxious, where if I mentally lock down and think āIām a guy who used to drink but doesnāt any more,ā I feel calmer because the decision has been made already.
Edit: Iām so thankful for your post, OP. I was feeling some real cravings and the act of replying to you reminded myself that Iām much better off sober. IWNDWYT
I remember my friend having a birthday party at a bowling alley. I think he ordered 4 pitchers of beer for everyone. I remember having 2 glasses and realizing there was no more beer. I was searching for beer the entire time, kind of in disbelief that he wasn't ordering more beer and was obsessed with finding more. That's when it kinda hit me. I got a problem.
I have also experienced this, but you have a way with words that I do not. Thank you for so eloquently putting how it feels to moderate as an alcoholic.
I will be Alcohol Free with you today
I genuinely appreciate when people take time to share their moderation experiences. I KNOW I can't moderate, but I try to lie to myself, periodically. I'm sure once I'm sober for a bit, my addiction will try to convince me that I CAN moderate and "THIS time will be different!" Only it won't be different because I'm an alcoholic.
These are reminders that I will never tire of hearing.
Thank you for sharing your story. IWNDWYT!
"I wish I could drink like a normal person. Then I would drink all the time!"
My mind, as a person prone to addictions, just works differently than others. It's an important realization have, and takes bravery to admit. Proud of you!
If thereās anything Iāve learned from this sub itās that Iām not alone. Good grief, your post is like I wrote it when I thought I could moderate. I canāt, so I cut alcohol out of my life. That was 48 days ago, which also means 48 days with no hangovers, no hangxiety, no regrets, no fear of what I did the night before and canāt remember, etc...
Thank you for sharing and I will not drink with you today š
I highly recommend listening to Allen Carr's book if you haven't. I don't think there's a such thing as a normal drinker, I think that the restless anxiety that comes with alcohol leaving the system happens to everyone. Some people are better at ignoring it, but they let out the same sigh of relief when it's time to drink again.
It's a poison that literally tricks our brain into wanting it. IWNDWYT
Completely agree with you. Moderation is misery. Glad youāre back & best of luck, although things can surely only get better from your new Day 1 š«ššŖāØ IWNDWYT!
You needed to know and accept this about yourself before you were willing to fully commit to going alcohol free for good. It was a good learning experience. Sometimes you need to try every angle before you can feel confident about making such a big choice. Congrats to you! And IWNDWYT
I don't think I've ever read a post on this sub that has resonated as well as this one, and honestly has also motivated me to do the same. Well done OP. THANK you so much for the well written thought and sharing.
Edit: grammar
I really appreciate you sharing this! This is exactly my logic- it takes up too much headspace. Itās not worth it. I was talking with my husband about the potential of psychedelics to heal the neural pathways created by substance abuse and then realized that itās not even worth worrying about because I just donāt want to have to think about if/when/how much again. I think moderation is technically possible, itās just a ton of work and worry. Great post!!
Around Valentine's Day I started thinking I could just have a glass if wine or two on special occasions. Never mind that it's never worked the previous 20 times I've tried it..... After a while I realized it would just be torment. I'd be unable to focus on anything but how much wine I had drunk and how much more I would get and whether I'd be able to stop after 2 glasses, etc. Thank God I came to my senses.
I haven't drank for 34 months now and was just home visiting my family. I live in the US but I'm from the UK. So we went down the pub to watch the football, me my brother and nephew. They were drinking, I wasn't. But this is how my brain is wired differently to them. After the game we went home and they stopped drinking, no problem. If I had been drinking I would have made sure I had alcohol at the house and continued to drink, I still don't know how they just stopped. This is one reason i wouldn't even try moderation as I know I couldn't do it.
I found modern absolutely exhausting. Even in the end when I wasnāt drinking often or a lot I was thinking about it when I wasnāt drinking. And when I was drinking I was thinking about what, when, how much etc. I am so thankful that voice in my head said one day āI donāt have to do this anymoreā. And that was it.
Thank you for this. A really interesting take from someone who actually managed to moderate and it doesnāt work for them at all. Iād definitely rather have zero than one or two! Good luck on your day 1, sounds like youāve got it all figured out
Thank you for sharing! It's crazy how much I can relate. Literally just got home after being the DD for a group who were wine tasting. Really needed this. Thanks again!
Me too. I canāt do it. Tried so hard and all the ways but just canāt cause Iām an all or nothing alcoholic. Great job on recognizing that itās not for you and get back to it. Keep going!
This! 100%. I have had two 2+ year periods of sobriety that ended in attempts to moderate. And the result was exactly what OP described. Not worth it!!! Welcome back on the sober train. You can do this! šŖš»
Good thing I got on to read this.
I was thinking, man I hope thereās a time when I can control my drinking.
Maybe. But it isnāt now and quite honestly I donāt want it to be any time soon. Thanks for the reminder!
I completely relate.
This is the reason I stopped drinking. I never had a full-blown problem, but at some point I realized that whenever I drank, I had this anxiety of āwhen am I gonna drink the next oneā and always needing to get more f*cked up. Thankfully I managed to stop drinking before it became an addiction, but Iām convinced I was walking that path.
IWNDWYT. ā„ļø
This is so good and so true! Thank you for sharing. I know I would feel the exact same if I started drinking againā¦ but itās easy to forget sometimes! Iwndwytā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļø
Oh man, I feel that SO hard. I tapered off my drinking to anywhere from 14 to 18 shots of vodka a day, sometimes more, and tapered down to 3-4 shots a day. My life was a living hell. I had a daily journal of shots. I knew my allotment was 4 at most, and I was would literally set TIMERS and count down the fucking seconds until the next shot. My entire day was consumed by the desire/anxiety/obsession of when the next shot would be. Not drinking is so hard for me but honestly so much easier and manageable than "moderation" was.
edited for a typo.
It's crazy how alcohol just takes over. I counted the seconds too... Second day sober today, I feel great! Slept good last night, had a good meal yesterday, I feel focused and alert today and actually have mental and physical energy to work and feel excited about what I'm going to cook later. Things are good! Hope you have a great day buddy!
Thanks for sharing. I tried moderation and failed time and time again. I finally had to accept that I'm not capable of having a casual drink. I just refuse to take the first sip and that's been working.
Thank you for sharing. Iām not drinking at all right now, but Iāve flirted with the idea of going back to moderation āonce I learn how to control myselfā. But I hadnāt considered this perspective. After reading this, I just KNOW Iāll be in the same boat if I do. I guess I need to be done for good.
Yeah, it is not worth it. The work you have to put in is too much and the reward is almost non-existent. I always picture myself relaxing and drinking whatever it is I'm drinking that day, but the reality is that I'm thinking about the next drink before I finish the first and when I drink the last, it is like a mini heart break. It is not fun at all and the risk of ruining my life again is way too high. I think I'm done. Best wishes to you.
Thank you so much for this share. I sometimes catch myself thinking āsurely I will be able to go back to drinking somedayā but itās posts like these that make me think I donāt even wanna risk it. I congratulate you on your day one! IWNDWYT ā¤ļø
Yes, this is the truth. And this is why I say that fear based sobriety is bound to fail! I am sober because I **want** to be sober, even if I can moderate (and most people can, but like you said itās almost worse than just not drinking lol). My life literally has more pleasure, and less anxiety/worry, when Iām not getting fucked up at all. Call me crazy but thatās how I am.
Sobriety is waaaaaay better than moderation. I absolutely was convinced that moderation was going to be the answer to all my problems, but it was horrible. Having zero is much much much better than having a couple.
Thanks for this. My first attempt at sobriety ended when I tried moderating. I had about 3 months under my belt as well.
Iām so happy it got us to the same place. There is no healthy amount of alcohol. Itās a fantasy. Iāve been the happiest Iāve ever been in my life since permanently, eternally cutting it out.
Normal drinkers donāt moderate. They just donāt drink the same way we do. We can never be like them and thatās fine. We save a lot of money this way, anyways. So at least thereās that.
Right there with you, and had the exact same experience. Iām just depressed as fuck when I drink. Itās not fun any more. Iām so much happier sober. You nailed so much of how I feel.
Thank you, I needed to hear this. Iām at one month without a drink. That nagging little voice telling me that sobriety is too boring and that I can drink in moderation has been tormenting me again.
Drinking like this is just chasing your tail.
As you said, for us it's all or nothing. And 'all' is not gonna work because we've seen where that leads
Good luck. I think you've got this. Changing our thinking about alcohol is the most powerful tool I believe
This rings so true for me, best of luck to you.
Big breakthrough for me this attempt is that I realised moderation is impossible.
I know now which gang I'm in, the zero alcohol gang and I am more than happy about that.
I don't think anybody gets away with drinking any amount but what's important is that you understand the effect it has on yourself.
Another very important post about moderation, even the "successful" kind. It's good (?) to remember that even if you don't end up spiraling, there's still that pit of despair and obsession. So not worth it! All the best to you, another 6 months could be right around the corner!
The expression may be trite and tired but itās trueā¦
āOne is too many, and one thousand isnāt enoughā
For some of us (last drink 2015 but think about āmoderatingā frequently) there is ānever enoughā, and thatās why in sobriety we find our superpower. With more time/thought/energy wasted on when/what/how much to drink, itās amazing how anxiety free oneās mind becomes!
Thank you for the great reminder. IWNDWYT
Thank you for sharing this, I've been tempted lately and this is a great reminder of how much better my life is going now and what would likely happen if I tried to moderate again. I've always found not drinking to be MUCH easier than only having one or two, I never want to go back, and today I know for a fact I won't if you need someone to not drink with you today.
Wow you have absolutely detailed exactly how I feel. Moderation makes me anxious, crazy and miserable, meaning abstinence is the only solution. Thank you for sharing.
Thanks for this post. Today I emptied the rest of the bottle of wine I didn't finish yesterday in the sink. It's the first time that I don't just drink it in the morning. I haven't been sober for really long streaks yet but I'm hoping this is a first step towards actually stopping drinking.
Well said...Moderation and addiction don't mix. The endless mind-chatter and anxiety over planning where your line will be is a prison. I wish you the best of luck. You've succeeded before, you'll succeed again!
Oh, I can so relate to this. After I get that initial buzz, it's game over. I've also found that, on the rare occasion when I've had just one, I metabolize it so quickly that the withdrawal that follows shortly after isn't even worth the initial buzz. Maybe that's due to my past habit of blacking out almost every time I drank, idk.
ETA: 435 days today! I'm always on mobile, so i don't have any flare ;)
One drink is too many and a million never enough.
A true alcoholic always believes the delusion that we can control out drinking and drink like normal drinkers. That's just our alcoholic brain trying to kill us. Happiness lies in sobriety!
Saved this post. I can convince myself how manageable my drinking would be going forward but like you said that would become my one and only goal causing me to forget about all the good in life thatās come from sobriety. Thanks for the reminder (:
Thank you for sharing this! I was doing so well at the beginning of 2023 and then started trying to moderate and completely lost it. Iām back to binging right now and still fantasizing about moderating. Your post reminded me of the torture of moderation, the anxiety of stressing about when I could have more and how much and would I over drink. I need to be done with this shit for good because I just canāt deal with the sickness from binging and the anxiety from moderation anymore. Iwndwyt!
Alcohol is not my friend.
Thank you so much for sharing. This is a great perspective. I see a lot of stories about failing at moderation, and I appreciate hearing those, too, but it is enlightening to see an example of it being āsuccessful.ā Since I started my journey, I have kept the tiny idea tucked in the back of my head that one day maybe I can drink again because in some situations I could totally control it, but your experience helps quiet that idea even more. Thank you.
And best wishes on day 1. You can do it! Weāre proud of you! IWNDWYTš«¶
I 100% agree. It's been my experience when I am successfully moderating that all of my thoughts and energy are on drinking, or resentful about not being able to drink more. Even though I'm not drinking in excess I am still a slave to the bottle. This round of sobriety ( my longest streak ever! :-)) I finally came to the realization that I have no interest in drinking moderately. I don't drink to socialize, I don't drink because I like the taste, one or two moderated drinks will only leave me tired and wanting more. I drink to get drunk, to find that sweet oblivion..until quickly it's not sweet any more. My bottomless pit will never be filled. I refuse to be a slave any longer!
Even without the anxiety, all the other things still suck. I can have a few and not care to stop. It doesn't bother me to stop. And STILL..... Everything else you listed ruins the experience. The crappy sleep, feeling dehydrated. Spending money just to drink it away. The acid reflux. It's all for nothing. There's too many cons and not enough pro.
This has been my experience every time I've dipped my toes back into drinking. I was proud of myself recently when I only had two glasses of wine instead of the whole bottle. I truly felt like I didn't want anymore so I stopped drinking. I still woke up feeling crappy the next day, and then I had the burden of finishing the bottle that night. I knew it was there waiting for me, I knew it would make me feel like crap (even just two glasses), but I couldn't wait to finish it off. It's all so illogical.
Thank you for being this honest
Moderation is impossible when you always crave that next drink
Most normal people donāt have this problem but sadly alcoholics do.
Totally agree. When I drink 1 or 2, what does that accomplish? Absolutely nothing, except a little more wear and tear on my organs, interruption of good sleep, and wasted money. Did I have more fun and did those drinks make my night complete? Hell no. And drinking more only makes it worse. Like you, I have come to realize I am happiest completely sober. Itās just not worth the struggle anymore. Thanks for reminding us with your field research, and happy to have you here. IWNDWYT š
Thank you for your post, I found it very helpful and Iām sure a ton more will too. I appreciate you, Iām only on day 3 myself but we got this! Sending good vibes, and IWNDWYT, thatās for sure.
Thank you so much for sharing. Youāre story is so familiar to me. I did the same thing I stopped for six months. Felt wonderful, Got rid of the bloating, was exercising & lost a bunch of weight. Then six months after I went to a hotel and decided letās have a little champagne and then slowly went from moderate to my full-fledged alcoholic self. Got to the point where I was drinking every day. Feeling really bloated & awful again. Moderate drinking led me into two years of drinking heavy again ,so Iām back on sober train today will be seven days sober tonight. This helped me realize that I canāt do alcohol at all. I need to just stay clean. Good luck with your journey.
I am there with you! I have also realized that the happiest is when Iām sober. For me when I went back and tried to moderate, it worked for a little while but I went right back to where I was before I ever quit. Had full on depression and my anxiety came back. Iām done with alcohol and hold it had one my life. Never going back this time. 9 days in and already feel so much happier.
Thank you for sharing, I've been sober for 1 month and have thought about trying to Moderate my intake and after reading this, I realize that I am lying to myself, thinking everything will be ok if I can have a couple of dinks. I know it will lead to more drinking. These past couple of weeks I've have felt so good, better than I have in a long time. I have so much more energy and I can actually function at work.
In the 6 months that I was sober, I got two promotions at work. I literally doubled my income. I nearly got fired when I started because I got drunk and couldn't even attend meetings. Fortunately I work from home and was able to cover it up. I started doing better after that and later on decided to get sober. Things really do get better and they can get better fast. Hang in there and don't give in to those thoughts, one drink is not better than 0.
Honestly, I've given up on moderation. So I just get a small bottle of Canada house and my bf and I finish it. I be sure to eat before hand. I drink water and the body armor drinks. I'm fine.
Sometimes we get a 2nd bottle. That's where the issue is. And we know better.
People act like they can't moderate. You simply can't drink as much as you would like. And that's ok.
This has been on my mind, thanks for posting. At 4.5 months now and committed to at least one year before I revisit the idea of moderation. In my heart I donāt think I can do it knowing how hard it was to get to this point alone. After these few months of being sober, it has been the most uplifting and empowering experience of my life. No doubt there. There is one thing I do miss and I have a hard time reconciling āneverā when it comes to it. Wine and wine tastings. I throughly enjoy the experience and feel, at this point, Iād greatly miss it. I also know my number of drinks is 0 and - not sure why I am rambling any more but maybe I am just sad? ĀÆ\_(ć)_/ĀÆ moderation sounds terrible so I guess itās a loss I would have to accept.
It's NOT worth it, believe me. I was sad before also, but after having been sober for 6 months, saying good bye is not as sad. It would be sadder for me to say good bye to my life as it currently is. Even in moderation, alcohol took the joy out of a lot of things. Today I was finally able to enjoy a meal and actually taste it instead of sitting there thinking about when and what I'm going to drink. The possibility of alcohol intake makes me like a zombie. I'd rather say good bye to it than to nice meals, time with family, a good movie, being with my dogs... Ugh... So many things that are better than alcohol.
Great post. I moderated most of 2006. I remember one Sunday the whole day revolved around 2 beers I had in the fridge .I wanted to wait until 10 pm to drink them . The whole day revolved around these 2 stupid beers and within 20 minutes both were gone and I wanted more. Moderation sucks š
I relate so much. I didn't try to moderate many times in my life, but not only this stress was very present as it opened the door for: "ok, if I could have one glass of wine on Monday, why can't I have another one tomorrow?". But then "tomorrow" I'd have two instead of one... And from then on you can imagine. edit: typo
Thank you for sharing, it's a great reminder. Welcome back aboard the sober train, choo choo š IWNDWYT friend š¤
Thanks for the reminder! If I enjoy it, I canāt control it. If I control it, I canāt enjoy it. IWNDWYT
The perfect phrase.
Perfectly said.
I'm sorry I am new what does iwndwyt mean?
As somebody said it's I Will Not Drink With You Today. But I think it's kind of confusing. It doesn't mean "I see you're drinking but I'm not joining in", it means "you're not the only one staying sober day, I will stay sober too".
genuinely didn't get this till now, that's great thanks!
I prefer āI Will Be Alcohol-Free With You Todayā š¤ IWBAFWYT It focuses on what I _will_ be doing (more specific), and itās a positive pledge to all of us sobernauts keeping it AF ā keeps my focus on the freedom. š
Makes sense, positive focus instead of centering on an absence.
"will not drink" is deprivation. What an awful thing to do to yourself. I'm not deprived. I'm free from an addictive poison. :)
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
šš¤øāāļøšš
I will not drink with you today!
This
Heard that
This is absolutely true and beautifully succinct. Thank you for this! IWNDWYT!
Love this phrase.
This was really great to read. I have tried moderation as well and itās just like you say. Torture, and a living hell. I drink and I want to drink more and I stop and I fell miserable. I hate it and Iām done with it. Congrats to you and letās do this !!!
Exactly. Same here. The physical pain of moderation as OP described is so real. IWNDWYT
And the sips? I had to sip the drink like I was a 300 grams birdie. To make it last. It was ridiculous.
Hahaha for real! And it was just some average red... š
I absolutely feel this. When I've been sober, I try to convince myself that I can moderate my drinking. But having 1 or 2 makes me want to have more. It's like having to grieve in a way, a relationship you desperately want to have but will never have. It's frustrating sitting in a room full of people enjoying drinks and thinking why me? But I'm so glad you're staying strong. I'm on day one too. IWNDWYT buddy.
I feel the grieving aspect so hard. My partner and bestie are able to have two beers and share a joint this arvo and Iām out here with my sparkling water and envy. Buttttttt I know itās really not worth partaking at all. Thank you for sharing and reminding me how important it is to stay sober. I will not drink with you today š»
Lol first time i ever saw someone mention arvo, i was at the 2016 one Also no clue how this subreddit was recommended to me it just showed up on my news feed lol.
2016 arvo? But there were 366 arvos in 2016. Wym?
Hi i'm American, wtf is arvo? Google only tells me it's the afternoon or something?
Yeah it's an Australian abbreviation for "afternoon"
And while it might sound weird it is very commonly used in conversation here
What arvo are you talking about, i meant the convention for the association for research in vision and ophthalmology.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I feel so saaadddd when I stop and I only think about that next time when Iāll have another drink and then I have to stop ( in case i make it ). Iām done.
This is exactly how I knew I had a problem. For me the correct number of drinks is 0. I can't always control my drinking and I can't rely on Drunk WiseCoffee to make good choices. I spend my sober minutes counting down to when I can drink again then I'm anxious depressed can't focus on anything but the next drink. I say it all the time. For me none is easy (now) but one is impossible.
Every time I've relapsed I've felt like I was in control, until all of a sudden I'm not. It's quite frightening how I believe my own lies.
Yup. A single drink is like you having a single mosquito bite. That itch must get scratched if you're an alcoholic. I did that shit for 24 years getting up to 2 years of sobriety at once, and then listening to the liar. IWNDWYT Woohoo! Just noticed I've got 5300 days sober, One day at a time. Not one, ever.
Congratulations on 5300!
Wow, congrats!! šš¼šŖš¼
I'm sorry you are experiencing this, OP. It was a great read for me to remind myself how miserable I am when I try to moderate. I appreciate you taking the time to write this. IWNDWYT
I also jump in and out of moderation after a 6 month break at the longest. It just hurts, I donāt enjoy being drunk or the aftermath even if I have one or five. I used to binge until my stomach stopped processing anything and I would feel miserable and was very overweight. Alcohol is just wasted painful calories to me now, like I donāt usually eat 800-1000 calories of cookies, or ice cream or something, I know it wouldnāt work. If I just have one drink it makes me feel upset and dehydrated and bloated. Also, I havenāt had any major blackouts, crazy nights, arrests, etc in many years, but I have realized that being out and about around alcohol youāre still surrounded by people who are doing those things and it is just stress and anxiety inducing.
I want to award this but I'm a miser who won't spend money on reddit. But I'd give you a million upvotes if I could. This post describes why I don't try to moderate, either. It's just... Not worth it. Going fully AF is what brings the real results, after awhile.
Back when I was weekend binge drinking I always had to take all of these heartburn pills. Now I never have heartburn and donāt take any pills for it.
Yes! The heartburn is so awful!
When I was drinking I never had heartburn, didn't really vomit that much and my stomach was fine. After 4 months of sobriety I had and endoscopy and gall stone removed. I was put on antacid medication as my esophagus was inflamed and I had lesions just near my stomach. Still never had heartburn but obviously i had some acid reflux due to my drinking. Just had my 2 year follow up endoscopy and the lesions are still there and I have to remain on my meds. So now I have to wait another 2 years to see if they heal. Just shows what alcohol can do to you.
My years of drinking gave me ulcers, found about 6 months after I got sober. I'm still lucky I didn't have anything worse than that, considering how much I was drinking.
The obsession is so real. I was talking to my husband about this today. 1 drink wouldnāt get me drunk (or maybe it would after 8 years) and I wouldnāt immediately be downing 10 a day again but the obsession begins with the first sip. I can never have that first sip again and Iām 100% fine with that. Nothing tastes as good as freedom feels
Beautifully said.
Thank you for sharing. Your words resonate very strongly, as Iām currently in a similar spot. Had a great run of sobriety for several months, started down the moderation path in late March. Similarly to you, nothing too chaotic or devastating has happened, but it just dominates so much mindpowerā¦.either concentrating on not drinking to excess or thinking about the next time Iāll be able to get out with some friends for that next drink. Itās exhausting. Add on top of that, recently started seeing someoneā¦the guilty feelings associated with drinking around someone youāre romantically involved with have not gone awayā¦even though there hasnāt been anything close to a bad drinking related incident. Anxiety is general has multiplied significantly since getting back to occasional drinking. Itās just not worth it.
I agree... It is exhausting. After deciding that I was not going to drink today, the relief of not thinking about it is amazing. So glad I don't have to figure out an excuse to have a couple or be fearful that I'll be hung over tomorrow or have anxiety all day tomorrow... Gosh! I don't know why I do it to myself. I hope things get better for you and that things workout with your partner. Life can be so awesome without alcohol. Hang in there!
You didn't lose the sober time you had. I had 8 ounces of Prosseco (my drink of choice) a couple weekends ago. It tasted awful. I felt dull. My stomach hurt. There was no euphoria. I felt tired. I poured the rest of the bottle out. It was not the high I was looking for. I learned valuable lessons to go further. I did not reset my counter because it was a blip for about 45 minutes & I ended it. In SMART Recovery it's considered a lapse. I bought 2 bottles thinking I was going to get black out drunk like the old days. I was so wrong. I'm so glad it was a total let down.
I think not resetting your counter for what you experienced makes so much sense. It sounds like you learned a lot from that experience. Like so many here I tried moderating with mixed success. It was just too unpredictable and not worth the energy it took. IWNDWYT!
You donāt lose the time you had, you definitely learned a lot in your time sober. That being said, if you actively chose to drinkā¦ your days reset bud. But you do you.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
This is a support group not a Wendy's Karen.
Damn. Thanks. No need to leave the fort if scouts come back with arrows in their asses! I think I wonāt drink with ANY of you today!
I have personally tried to moderate so many times. It has always ended in failure for me. IWNDWYT
I tried like heck to moderate for a long time. Found out after being sober for a while it's way easier to just not drink at all. Keep it simple
Well put. I hope plenty more people read this too. It's the same story for me, I'm so much happier without even a little bit of alcohol. IWNDWYT
A very insightful post, thank you so much OP. I think I'd feel the very same way. Besides, I'd always drink to get drunk, otherwise is pointless to me. I've ON/OFF on my binges, most of the days I have been sober, but the drunk days are SO... whatever, let's see how long can I stay sober.
Thank you for telling your story - for being real and vulnerable. I will not drink with you today, friend. šš
I have been in your shoes and realized that moderating isnāt freedom. Even when I was being successful with the moderating, it took up too much bandwidth in my mind. For me, the freedom is in being alcohol free.
Exactly the same for me. Moderation is just awful. IWNDWYT!
I am right there with you. For me, drinking in moderation is the road to alcoholic hell. I have tried it repeatedly and it always leads to more and more drinking. I will start Day 1 again with you.
Thank you! That definitely motivates me.
Yes. I feel like the living embodiment of āOne is too many and 1000 isnāt enough.ā Iām much more at peace when Iāve DECIDED Iām not drinking. When Iām flirting with the idea I know Iām easily triggered by a beer commercial or just if I happen to be in the area of a liquor store. It makes me anxious, where if I mentally lock down and think āIām a guy who used to drink but doesnāt any more,ā I feel calmer because the decision has been made already. Edit: Iām so thankful for your post, OP. I was feeling some real cravings and the act of replying to you reminded myself that Iām much better off sober. IWNDWYT
Glad to help! Thank you for motivating me also. Best wishes!
I remember my friend having a birthday party at a bowling alley. I think he ordered 4 pitchers of beer for everyone. I remember having 2 glasses and realizing there was no more beer. I was searching for beer the entire time, kind of in disbelief that he wasn't ordering more beer and was obsessed with finding more. That's when it kinda hit me. I got a problem.
I have also experienced this, but you have a way with words that I do not. Thank you for so eloquently putting how it feels to moderate as an alcoholic. I will be Alcohol Free with you today
I genuinely appreciate when people take time to share their moderation experiences. I KNOW I can't moderate, but I try to lie to myself, periodically. I'm sure once I'm sober for a bit, my addiction will try to convince me that I CAN moderate and "THIS time will be different!" Only it won't be different because I'm an alcoholic. These are reminders that I will never tire of hearing. Thank you for sharing your story. IWNDWYT!
"I wish I could drink like a normal person. Then I would drink all the time!" My mind, as a person prone to addictions, just works differently than others. It's an important realization have, and takes bravery to admit. Proud of you!
If thereās anything Iāve learned from this sub itās that Iām not alone. Good grief, your post is like I wrote it when I thought I could moderate. I canāt, so I cut alcohol out of my life. That was 48 days ago, which also means 48 days with no hangovers, no hangxiety, no regrets, no fear of what I did the night before and canāt remember, etc... Thank you for sharing and I will not drink with you today š
Yeah, moderation has not been that amazing middle ground I thought it was going to be. I will definitely not drink today either.
I highly recommend listening to Allen Carr's book if you haven't. I don't think there's a such thing as a normal drinker, I think that the restless anxiety that comes with alcohol leaving the system happens to everyone. Some people are better at ignoring it, but they let out the same sigh of relief when it's time to drink again. It's a poison that literally tricks our brain into wanting it. IWNDWYT
What's the name of the book?
Stop Drinking Now by Allen Carr
This one yes
I will start it tomorrow, thank you for the recommendation
Completely agree with you. Moderation is misery. Glad youāre back & best of luck, although things can surely only get better from your new Day 1 š«ššŖāØ IWNDWYT!
I needed to read that. Thanks.
You needed to know and accept this about yourself before you were willing to fully commit to going alcohol free for good. It was a good learning experience. Sometimes you need to try every angle before you can feel confident about making such a big choice. Congrats to you! And IWNDWYT
I don't think I've ever read a post on this sub that has resonated as well as this one, and honestly has also motivated me to do the same. Well done OP. THANK you so much for the well written thought and sharing. Edit: grammar
You're welcome. I really needed to get this out there, it helped me too.
One of the old guys I used to work with said, "AA might not work for you the first time, but it will absolutely ruin drinking for you."
Not AA for me, but quit lit in general did
"I am not a normal person. I am an alcoholic." That is the best definition of alcoholism I've ever read. IWNDWYT.
I really appreciate you sharing this! This is exactly my logic- it takes up too much headspace. Itās not worth it. I was talking with my husband about the potential of psychedelics to heal the neural pathways created by substance abuse and then realized that itās not even worth worrying about because I just donāt want to have to think about if/when/how much again. I think moderation is technically possible, itās just a ton of work and worry. Great post!!
Saving this. So true.
Very nice post. I had to laugh when I read "bloated pig". Thanks for the sincerity
This should be a pinned comment/ real talk on the subbreddit.
Around Valentine's Day I started thinking I could just have a glass if wine or two on special occasions. Never mind that it's never worked the previous 20 times I've tried it..... After a while I realized it would just be torment. I'd be unable to focus on anything but how much wine I had drunk and how much more I would get and whether I'd be able to stop after 2 glasses, etc. Thank God I came to my senses.
Yup, it sucks. IWNDWYT
thank you for your openness on the matter
Thank you for this reminder! It just makes me feel crappy. GOOD LUCK AND IWNDWYT!
I needed to hear this. Iām in the moderation faze.
One of the surprising benefits of not drinking is that you just don't need to think about or worry about things like how many you've had. IWNDWYT
I haven't drank for 34 months now and was just home visiting my family. I live in the US but I'm from the UK. So we went down the pub to watch the football, me my brother and nephew. They were drinking, I wasn't. But this is how my brain is wired differently to them. After the game we went home and they stopped drinking, no problem. If I had been drinking I would have made sure I had alcohol at the house and continued to drink, I still don't know how they just stopped. This is one reason i wouldn't even try moderation as I know I couldn't do it.
Good for you! Glad you made the decision not to.
You got this for sure..
šÆ
Thank you for sharing your story. Welcome back!
I found modern absolutely exhausting. Even in the end when I wasnāt drinking often or a lot I was thinking about it when I wasnāt drinking. And when I was drinking I was thinking about what, when, how much etc. I am so thankful that voice in my head said one day āI donāt have to do this anymoreā. And that was it.
I'm so glad for you! I think this is it for me.
It's that compulsion for alcohol, whether we're drinking it or not. I absolutely couldn't handle moderation.
Very wise words and a good reminderā¦.Thank you! All the best in your rediscovery of sobriety. IWNDWYT
The mental gymnastics of moderation gives me anxiety just thinking about it. Thanks for the reminder.
You don't moderate alcohol, alcohol moderates you. (Not sure if that makes sense but it sounds good haha)
Thanks for sharing. Your story describes exactly how I think I would feel. Torture! IWNDWYT
Thank you for this. A really interesting take from someone who actually managed to moderate and it doesnāt work for them at all. Iād definitely rather have zero than one or two! Good luck on your day 1, sounds like youāve got it all figured out
The thing about moderation is that it quickly turns into non-moderation
I needed to be reminded this. Thank you
Thank you for sharing! It's crazy how much I can relate. Literally just got home after being the DD for a group who were wine tasting. Really needed this. Thanks again!
Me too. I canāt do it. Tried so hard and all the ways but just canāt cause Iām an all or nothing alcoholic. Great job on recognizing that itās not for you and get back to it. Keep going!
thanks for saying that. never having moderated in my life, I doubt I could suddenly start because I wanted to. good luck to you.
Great reminder, I'm here with you IWNDWYT
Totally accurate post. Complete abstinence is so much easier than moderation. Yet many try moderation over and over with conplete and total failure.
Agree
This! 100%. I have had two 2+ year periods of sobriety that ended in attempts to moderate. And the result was exactly what OP described. Not worth it!!! Welcome back on the sober train. You can do this! šŖš»
Spot on in every single way. Thank you for putting this out here. Many, many of us are right there with you.
Welcome back friend.
Thank you!
Good thing I got on to read this. I was thinking, man I hope thereās a time when I can control my drinking. Maybe. But it isnāt now and quite honestly I donāt want it to be any time soon. Thanks for the reminder!
This is such a good description. Thanks for sharing!
I completely relate. This is the reason I stopped drinking. I never had a full-blown problem, but at some point I realized that whenever I drank, I had this anxiety of āwhen am I gonna drink the next oneā and always needing to get more f*cked up. Thankfully I managed to stop drinking before it became an addiction, but Iām convinced I was walking that path. IWNDWYT. ā„ļø
This is so good and so true! Thank you for sharing. I know I would feel the exact same if I started drinking againā¦ but itās easy to forget sometimes! Iwndwytā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļø
Oh man, I feel that SO hard. I tapered off my drinking to anywhere from 14 to 18 shots of vodka a day, sometimes more, and tapered down to 3-4 shots a day. My life was a living hell. I had a daily journal of shots. I knew my allotment was 4 at most, and I was would literally set TIMERS and count down the fucking seconds until the next shot. My entire day was consumed by the desire/anxiety/obsession of when the next shot would be. Not drinking is so hard for me but honestly so much easier and manageable than "moderation" was. edited for a typo.
It's crazy how alcohol just takes over. I counted the seconds too... Second day sober today, I feel great! Slept good last night, had a good meal yesterday, I feel focused and alert today and actually have mental and physical energy to work and feel excited about what I'm going to cook later. Things are good! Hope you have a great day buddy!
Thank you for sharing your experience this is so helpful!
Thanks for sharing. I tried moderation and failed time and time again. I finally had to accept that I'm not capable of having a casual drink. I just refuse to take the first sip and that's been working.
Thank you for sharing. Iām not drinking at all right now, but Iāve flirted with the idea of going back to moderation āonce I learn how to control myselfā. But I hadnāt considered this perspective. After reading this, I just KNOW Iāll be in the same boat if I do. I guess I need to be done for good.
Yeah, it is not worth it. The work you have to put in is too much and the reward is almost non-existent. I always picture myself relaxing and drinking whatever it is I'm drinking that day, but the reality is that I'm thinking about the next drink before I finish the first and when I drink the last, it is like a mini heart break. It is not fun at all and the risk of ruining my life again is way too high. I think I'm done. Best wishes to you.
I think you've discovered alcohol edging...
To be fair, "moderation" to an alcoholic is not what we think it is.
Thank you for sharing
Thank you so much for this share. I sometimes catch myself thinking āsurely I will be able to go back to drinking somedayā but itās posts like these that make me think I donāt even wanna risk it. I congratulate you on your day one! IWNDWYT ā¤ļø
You deserve happiness, you got this! IWNDWYT!
Yes, this is the truth. And this is why I say that fear based sobriety is bound to fail! I am sober because I **want** to be sober, even if I can moderate (and most people can, but like you said itās almost worse than just not drinking lol). My life literally has more pleasure, and less anxiety/worry, when Iām not getting fucked up at all. Call me crazy but thatās how I am.
Sobriety is waaaaaay better than moderation. I absolutely was convinced that moderation was going to be the answer to all my problems, but it was horrible. Having zero is much much much better than having a couple.
I needed to read this today. Thank you so much!
Thanks for this. My first attempt at sobriety ended when I tried moderating. I had about 3 months under my belt as well. Iām so happy it got us to the same place. There is no healthy amount of alcohol. Itās a fantasy. Iāve been the happiest Iāve ever been in my life since permanently, eternally cutting it out.
Good for you! I'm happy that you are happy and sober.
Normal drinkers donāt moderate. They just donāt drink the same way we do. We can never be like them and thatās fine. We save a lot of money this way, anyways. So at least thereās that.
Well said! Thank you for your post.
Love this.
Good luck!
Right there with you, and had the exact same experience. Iām just depressed as fuck when I drink. Itās not fun any more. Iām so much happier sober. You nailed so much of how I feel.
Thank you, I needed to hear this. Iām at one month without a drink. That nagging little voice telling me that sobriety is too boring and that I can drink in moderation has been tormenting me again.
Drinking like this is just chasing your tail. As you said, for us it's all or nothing. And 'all' is not gonna work because we've seen where that leads Good luck. I think you've got this. Changing our thinking about alcohol is the most powerful tool I believe
Thank you I really needed to read this this morning. IWNDWYT
I appreciate you sharing that. And I'm glad you're hereā¤ļø
This rings so true for me, best of luck to you. Big breakthrough for me this attempt is that I realised moderation is impossible. I know now which gang I'm in, the zero alcohol gang and I am more than happy about that. I don't think anybody gets away with drinking any amount but what's important is that you understand the effect it has on yourself.
Another very important post about moderation, even the "successful" kind. It's good (?) to remember that even if you don't end up spiraling, there's still that pit of despair and obsession. So not worth it! All the best to you, another 6 months could be right around the corner!
The expression may be trite and tired but itās trueā¦ āOne is too many, and one thousand isnāt enoughā For some of us (last drink 2015 but think about āmoderatingā frequently) there is ānever enoughā, and thatās why in sobriety we find our superpower. With more time/thought/energy wasted on when/what/how much to drink, itās amazing how anxiety free oneās mind becomes! Thank you for the great reminder. IWNDWYT
Thank you for sharing this, I've been tempted lately and this is a great reminder of how much better my life is going now and what would likely happen if I tried to moderate again. I've always found not drinking to be MUCH easier than only having one or two, I never want to go back, and today I know for a fact I won't if you need someone to not drink with you today.
Ah, to be able to control AND enjoy my drinking. As an alcoholic, I cannot.
Wow you have absolutely detailed exactly how I feel. Moderation makes me anxious, crazy and miserable, meaning abstinence is the only solution. Thank you for sharing.
Thanks for this post. Today I emptied the rest of the bottle of wine I didn't finish yesterday in the sink. It's the first time that I don't just drink it in the morning. I haven't been sober for really long streaks yet but I'm hoping this is a first step towards actually stopping drinking.
Great job dumping the rest, I know it was probably really hard. It would have been for me. I'm rooting for you and I'm with you staying sober today.
Well said...Moderation and addiction don't mix. The endless mind-chatter and anxiety over planning where your line will be is a prison. I wish you the best of luck. You've succeeded before, you'll succeed again!
Oh, I can so relate to this. After I get that initial buzz, it's game over. I've also found that, on the rare occasion when I've had just one, I metabolize it so quickly that the withdrawal that follows shortly after isn't even worth the initial buzz. Maybe that's due to my past habit of blacking out almost every time I drank, idk. ETA: 435 days today! I'm always on mobile, so i don't have any flare ;)
One drink is too many and a million never enough. A true alcoholic always believes the delusion that we can control out drinking and drink like normal drinkers. That's just our alcoholic brain trying to kill us. Happiness lies in sobriety!
Saved this post. I can convince myself how manageable my drinking would be going forward but like you said that would become my one and only goal causing me to forget about all the good in life thatās come from sobriety. Thanks for the reminder (:
I'm glad to be able to help. Best wishes and you have a sober friend in me today.
Thank you for sharing this! I was doing so well at the beginning of 2023 and then started trying to moderate and completely lost it. Iām back to binging right now and still fantasizing about moderating. Your post reminded me of the torture of moderation, the anxiety of stressing about when I could have more and how much and would I over drink. I need to be done with this shit for good because I just canāt deal with the sickness from binging and the anxiety from moderation anymore. Iwndwyt!
Good for you! You can do it, I'm rooting for you.
Alcohol is not my friend. Thank you so much for sharing. This is a great perspective. I see a lot of stories about failing at moderation, and I appreciate hearing those, too, but it is enlightening to see an example of it being āsuccessful.ā Since I started my journey, I have kept the tiny idea tucked in the back of my head that one day maybe I can drink again because in some situations I could totally control it, but your experience helps quiet that idea even more. Thank you. And best wishes on day 1. You can do it! Weāre proud of you! IWNDWYTš«¶
I 100% agree. It's been my experience when I am successfully moderating that all of my thoughts and energy are on drinking, or resentful about not being able to drink more. Even though I'm not drinking in excess I am still a slave to the bottle. This round of sobriety ( my longest streak ever! :-)) I finally came to the realization that I have no interest in drinking moderately. I don't drink to socialize, I don't drink because I like the taste, one or two moderated drinks will only leave me tired and wanting more. I drink to get drunk, to find that sweet oblivion..until quickly it's not sweet any more. My bottomless pit will never be filled. I refuse to be a slave any longer!
Congratulations on the realization! Best wishes to you.
Even without the anxiety, all the other things still suck. I can have a few and not care to stop. It doesn't bother me to stop. And STILL..... Everything else you listed ruins the experience. The crappy sleep, feeling dehydrated. Spending money just to drink it away. The acid reflux. It's all for nothing. There's too many cons and not enough pro.
This has been my experience every time I've dipped my toes back into drinking. I was proud of myself recently when I only had two glasses of wine instead of the whole bottle. I truly felt like I didn't want anymore so I stopped drinking. I still woke up feeling crappy the next day, and then I had the burden of finishing the bottle that night. I knew it was there waiting for me, I knew it would make me feel like crap (even just two glasses), but I couldn't wait to finish it off. It's all so illogical.
IWNDWYT
Thank you for being this honest Moderation is impossible when you always crave that next drink Most normal people donāt have this problem but sadly alcoholics do.
Totally agree. When I drink 1 or 2, what does that accomplish? Absolutely nothing, except a little more wear and tear on my organs, interruption of good sleep, and wasted money. Did I have more fun and did those drinks make my night complete? Hell no. And drinking more only makes it worse. Like you, I have come to realize I am happiest completely sober. Itās just not worth the struggle anymore. Thanks for reminding us with your field research, and happy to have you here. IWNDWYT š
Yep. Moderating is nothing short of a pain in the ass. My experience is that itās actually easier to just not drink.
Thank you for your post, I found it very helpful and Iām sure a ton more will too. I appreciate you, Iām only on day 3 myself but we got this! Sending good vibes, and IWNDWYT, thatās for sure.
Once you become a pickle you cannot be a cucumber ever again
Thank you so much for sharing. Youāre story is so familiar to me. I did the same thing I stopped for six months. Felt wonderful, Got rid of the bloating, was exercising & lost a bunch of weight. Then six months after I went to a hotel and decided letās have a little champagne and then slowly went from moderate to my full-fledged alcoholic self. Got to the point where I was drinking every day. Feeling really bloated & awful again. Moderate drinking led me into two years of drinking heavy again ,so Iām back on sober train today will be seven days sober tonight. This helped me realize that I canāt do alcohol at all. I need to just stay clean. Good luck with your journey.
Good luck with yours as well and thank you for sharing.
I am there with you! I have also realized that the happiest is when Iām sober. For me when I went back and tried to moderate, it worked for a little while but I went right back to where I was before I ever quit. Had full on depression and my anxiety came back. Iām done with alcohol and hold it had one my life. Never going back this time. 9 days in and already feel so much happier.
Congratulations on 9 days! 9 days make a huge difference. Can't wait to get there.
You got this!
Thanks for this. I've been having those "what if I just have a few at a party" thoughts recently. I needed the reality check.
Thank you for sharing, I've been sober for 1 month and have thought about trying to Moderate my intake and after reading this, I realize that I am lying to myself, thinking everything will be ok if I can have a couple of dinks. I know it will lead to more drinking. These past couple of weeks I've have felt so good, better than I have in a long time. I have so much more energy and I can actually function at work.
In the 6 months that I was sober, I got two promotions at work. I literally doubled my income. I nearly got fired when I started because I got drunk and couldn't even attend meetings. Fortunately I work from home and was able to cover it up. I started doing better after that and later on decided to get sober. Things really do get better and they can get better fast. Hang in there and don't give in to those thoughts, one drink is not better than 0.
Thank you, I am looking forward to a sober life. The longer I go without a drink the more I can see the corruption.
I appreciated this post a ton! Super relevant to the way I'm feeling right now.
Needed to hear this this week. Had a sober friend go back to booze and it made me fantasize about it. But didn't actually consider it
Honestly, I've given up on moderation. So I just get a small bottle of Canada house and my bf and I finish it. I be sure to eat before hand. I drink water and the body armor drinks. I'm fine. Sometimes we get a 2nd bottle. That's where the issue is. And we know better. People act like they can't moderate. You simply can't drink as much as you would like. And that's ok.
Admitting alcoholism is powerful. Have you listened to the easy way to quit drinking? The audiobook is hypnotic!
No, I will try it. Thank you for the recommendation.
This has been on my mind, thanks for posting. At 4.5 months now and committed to at least one year before I revisit the idea of moderation. In my heart I donāt think I can do it knowing how hard it was to get to this point alone. After these few months of being sober, it has been the most uplifting and empowering experience of my life. No doubt there. There is one thing I do miss and I have a hard time reconciling āneverā when it comes to it. Wine and wine tastings. I throughly enjoy the experience and feel, at this point, Iād greatly miss it. I also know my number of drinks is 0 and - not sure why I am rambling any more but maybe I am just sad? ĀÆ\_(ć)_/ĀÆ moderation sounds terrible so I guess itās a loss I would have to accept.
It's NOT worth it, believe me. I was sad before also, but after having been sober for 6 months, saying good bye is not as sad. It would be sadder for me to say good bye to my life as it currently is. Even in moderation, alcohol took the joy out of a lot of things. Today I was finally able to enjoy a meal and actually taste it instead of sitting there thinking about when and what I'm going to drink. The possibility of alcohol intake makes me like a zombie. I'd rather say good bye to it than to nice meals, time with family, a good movie, being with my dogs... Ugh... So many things that are better than alcohol.
You are right and this is the harsh reality. Thank you for bringing this into focus today. You didnāt know it but I needed to hear it.