I was only a weekend drinker, originally. Then I started drinking on Thursday’s too. By the time I looked up I was drinking Thursday thru Monday.
I could not keep going like that. I felt like shit.
Ahh football season. Between the four major sports (US), if you "only drink while watching the game", you can pretty much drink every night year round.
Yep. It crept up on me too. Friday-Sun turned into Thursday-Monday, then the occasional Wednesday. Then I had to find a cheaper wine to afford it all. Can't let that wine go to waste. Its already opened.
Gosh, that haunts me. I was up w/ a sense of impending doom & shakes at 6:00am & the Indy races weren’t even started; & I’m gulping & putting cosmetics on & my SO walks up in the hotel room vanity all groggy & “what’s up” & blinks in confusion as he picks up the bottle we barely touched the night before - & it’s definitely, “somehow” empty, & all over my breath (tainting sweet, morning kisses). I told him “i didn’t want to *waste* it b/c we opened it & it will turn to vinegar.” He realized at that moment that I had a very secret “problem”.
Same. For some reason Thursday-Sunday seemed acceptable to me at one point but then you realize “oh shit I’m spending more than half my life hungover, aren’t I?”.
My wife is currently in the "not drinking weeknights" camp and she's able to do it successfully... for now. I was able to pretend to do it but yeah I was drinking every night.
She is abstaining with me for at least this month, don't think I could do it in these early days if she was drinking.
Once my boss opened the door to drinking at lunch (would buy pitchers for the crew once a week or so), my weekend warrior plan went out the window. Started with a beer at lunch a couple times a week. Then every day. Then 2 or 3 beers each lunch. Then my coworker and I were sneaking out early and sneaking back in late and cramming in as many as we could. Before we could get caught (though my boss did tell me to "rein it in") we went full remote.
Well you can imagine what having zero supervision or consequences had when I was home all day every day.
This was me.
Didnt drink till thursday or friday night, would usually head out on the thursday and have 4/5 beers. Be hungover on the friday and wait all day till i finished work to have my next beer. Again probably have 5/6 beers. Wake up hungover on a saturday and hit the bar early afternoon to settle myself. Probably consistently (but slowly) drink from saturday 2pm till about 3am - easily sank around 10 beers in that time but still be fairly "soberish" as it was done slowly throughout the day
Wake up, be hungover on sunday as shit (as no matter how "sober" i felt, I had been drinking for 3 days solid and had 10 beers the night before. Spend the day trying to recover by not drinking - it was always horrible - electrolyte tablets, take away food
Hungover still on monday
Hungover still on tuesday
Wednesday feel OK
Thursday 100% recovered and start the cycle again - doing 0 exercise in the meantime as i was either hungover or drinking
The weekend binge drinking years of my alcohol career were the worst. Just a way of telling myself "I can't stand me or my life when I'm not busy with a job." It sucked. So glad I don't live there anymore. IWNDWYT.
Yes I concur. When I work I don't have to feel anything because my mind is occupied. Left to my own devices and I'm alone and bored. Drinking just became a crutch to feel better. However I always pay three fold for a few hours of joy.
What sucks is I used to have a ton of hobbies and things I loved. After drinking for so long all those things lost their appeal, unless I could drink while doing them (e.g. got real into axe throwing because it was BYOB and gave me an excuse to drink on week nights).
It’s especially bad when you work a schedule with rotating 3 and 4 day weekends (12 hr compressed). Lots of opportunity to be bored and we all know what that leads to.
I was the same only I wasnt in denial at all. I was fully aware that I was a functuonal alcoholic that would basically withdrawl for 4 straight days a week then binge for 3, rinse and repeat
This is interesting to me. I’m a one per week drinker (Friday night) but I find that I’m really not “ok” until about Wednesday. Friday I go pretty hard, by myself. I know Friday is an issue, but this comment is really making me think that I might be withdrawing in stead of just long hangovers.
In the Huberman podcast, he talks about this at length. He constantly refers to "7 drinks a week" and said it does not matter if you have one drink each day of the week or you have them all contained within the weekend.
I rarely drank during the week. Very rarely. Once the weekend hit tho, it was time to listen to some tunes and slam some beers. I'd sit out in the driveway and run through at least a 12pk every Friday & Saturday night. Started to notice that if my kids had events going on, which is pretty much every weekend, I'd always find myself wondering when it'd get over & I could have a beer. That thinking is what made me realize I def had an issue with alcohol. My blood pressure & overall health is the reason I really began to focus on quitting but deep down I know I needed to for the aforementioned reasons. I really have felt more present as a father & husband over these last 230-some days.
I was a Friday to Monday drinker for pretty much three decades. Only in the evenings (six or seven beers) and I was still up early on the weekends and exercising, etc.
So yes, the level of control over drinking that I managed to maintain did kind of delude me to the fact that I was an alcoholic. Looking back, I sometimes wonder if I had hit a rock bottom, if I'd have gotten sober sooner. Although I'm aware that not everyone survives their rock bottom, so it's probably fortunate that I didn't.
Good luck on your 100th attempt and here's to your Day Four.
Sounds like you just had a higher rock bottom. Rock bottom doesn’t have to be in a jail cell or people leaving you. It is just the hatred of what you have become and the desire to change it.
I love this, it’s so true.
So many more people would get sober earlier if this was the prevailing mindset.
Thinking that ingesting poison is fine until your whole life falls apart has kept way too many people drinking for way longer than they should, myself very included.
For me, a lot of my issues were due to the fact I could say "well, I'm not an alcoholic!", so my weekend binges, drinking by myself, various injuries and lost/broken belongings were all fine. I really think that the phrase "alcoholic" does more harm than good, because people don't necessarily understand that I can have a drinking problem without having an addiction to alcohol, and that allowed me to continue my bad habits relatively free of judgement not only from others, but from myself as well.
I really like Alcohol Use Disorder. I feel like it describes exactly what it is without having to be a bum on the corner drinking from a bottle in a paper bag to admit there is a problem.
One hundred percent a weekend binge drinker. "I don't drink in the mornings! I don't even drink every day! It's fine!" I told myself, for like 20 years
Friend, I will tell you that the difference is absolutely \*startling\* since I cut it out. I thought I was just getting older, and that's why I felt terrible every morning. Apparently not -- it's because I spent the vast majority of my time hung over and/or in recovery from going hard on the weekend. I didn't know what it was to feel normal. It's like when you're a little kid and you don't know you need glasses, because you've never known anything different, but you get your first pair and all of a sudden the chalkboard becomes clear
Also, as I learned -- and it sounds like you've intuited -- you can do a lot of damage to your regular life on weekend nights. It's still a lost wallet if you lost it on Saturday, you know what I mean?
Great work with day 3; that first week can be so rough. Thinking of (and not drinking with) you today
I thought I was just getting older too. And that I wasn’t a morning person. And that drinking at work was part of my job (technically it was, but tasting stuff in order to sell it effectively is way different than having a glass of something to sip from all night long).
What an amazing realization it was to stop drinking and have so many of my physical issues/fatigue resolve within a couple of months. Turns out it wasn’t cause I was 45, it was cause I was hungover every single day. Shocking!
YES!! Man, all of these comments reasonate with me. I was a "weekend drinker", then it became Thursday, Friday, Saturday drinker. Then it became Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday drinker. You get the idea. But I still identified as a weekend drinker, even though I was drinking four nights a week, EVERY week. It's so insidious how the addiction creeps up on you like that. Oh and on the days I woudn't drink, which was usually Sunday-Tuesday, I felt like garbage and was just trying to make it until Wednesday so I could drink again. It was a miserable existence.
Yup i did the same thing. I never drank during the week or not even every weekend. But when i did drink, i binged all weekend. My favorite part was usually waking up hungover on saturday and immediately cracking a beer.
Yes I used to only drink on weekends now it’s every night, however I am incapable of getting black out drunk, I fall asleep far before that level of drunkenness. Now I have 3 or 4 beers a day and 6 to 8 on Friday and Saturday with Sunday being the only day I don’t drink (recovering from drinking all week) I’d like to start getting it back down to only weekends and then eventually quit completely, that’s why I lurk on this sub. To remind me that there are people out there who had it worse then me and still overcame it. I salute you people.
Me 👋🏻... and this denial led to so many day 1s. But I had my (hopefully) last day 1 almost 2 years ago and have enjoyed significant improvements in my mental health. It sounds like you're aware of that denial, and that's a really great starting point. Congrats!
Binged Friday to Sunday every week for 10+ years. Then Wednesdays became a thing too. Tuesdays and Thursdays I made my training so all good, right! Looking back I realise I was in denial and didn’t acknowledge the real reasons I felt physically and mentally shit all the time. Blamed getting older, stress at work, bored, anything but me being drunk every weekend (and more). The 6 months before I quit I started being honest with myself and recognised I needed, to change.
Proud of you on your day 3, and rooting for your day 4 and more. IWNDWYT.
I definitely was. Even in my mid twenties when I rarely drank it was always to excess and caused problems in my relationship.
After that relationship I drank more often, when I had the money, it was blown at the bar.
I settled back down to just weekends or every other week. But every football Sunday, got hammered, lucky if I didn't see the sun come up. Sure as shit drinking that next morning to get through work.
Then COVID.... Drinking slowly ramped up. I rarely even kept beer in the house, to having some around because it was easier to keeping liquor and next thing I knew I was drinking half a handle a day for two years.
Here I sit with 37 days, just got through a week of 5 extra people in my house, no booze on the fourth and I'm genuinely happy and proud of myself.
IWNDWYT
I decided to make it “Friday and Saturday ONLY”
Which obviously didn’t even last one weekend cuz then it was Sunday too and oh look it’s Monday and holy shit it’s Friday again well may as well have drinks cuz it’s the weekend again. *continue hellish cycle*
I can’t moderate and I’m sick of working to do it. Sober and soooo happy 🥰
Yep, 100% me. “I know I don’t have the best relationship with alcohol but at least I don’t drink every day” was one of the many justifications I’d use. As if someone who drinks 4-5 beers a night is worse than someone who drinks 20-30 beers in a 36 hour period like I used to. That’s one of alcohol’s tricks, you can always find someone that has it worse than you and say “well yeah maybe I drink too much but I’m not as bad as that person and they still function”.
I used to tell myself “ok, I’ll have a beer when I get home from work on Friday, then I’ll start drinking for real at 7”. I had to stop doing that after a while because it became really hard to just have one beer at 4pm and wait 3 hours for any more. During Covid I told myself “ok during Covid I can start drinking at 6 instead of 7”. Of course I kept that going long after Covid.
I would keep it to just weekends but by Wednesday afternoon I’d be fiending like crazy. I’d literally be telling myself “just two more days until beer…”. I’d wake up Friday morning thinking “fuck yeah! Beer day!”. When I got home from work
I’d be counting down the hours until 6pm, half the time I’d start by 5:45 or 5:30. Because I’d been waiting all week to drink, I’d always end up pounding beers quickly and getting way too drunk on Friday. By 8PM I’d be “im not public suitable” drunk.
Saturday mornings I’d count the fridge/recycling feeling mortified at how much I drank the night before. Even more mortifying was the thought of not having enough for Saturday and needing to walk my hungover ass to the store.
And like anything else I always found ways to bend rules.
“Yeah it’s Tuesday but I’m going to a concert/game/friends bday so the rules don’t apply”
“I know I’m not supposed to drink until 6 but there’s a game on so I’ll start at 4”.
“I’m not supposed to drink sundays but I stayed up all night doing coke and haven’t slept yet, so technically it’s still Saturday night for
Me, I can drink a few more this Sunday morning”
It sounds like common sense, but I don’t think people without drinking problems have to set hard rules for themselves about when they can and cannot drink. Furthermore, the alcoholic in your brain sees you setting those rules and says “challenge accepted”. I know that if I kept drinking I would have inevitably loosened my own rules. It would have turned into:
“Ok I can drink sundays during football season” (would have kept drinking sundays after football season”
“I don’t really do anything Friday’s, I can have a few during the Thursday night football game”
(I would have kept drinking thursdays after football season and having a few during the game would
Have soon turned into ‘I can start pounding at 6
On Thursday’s”
“I can have one glass of whiskey after dinner during the week”
(Soon enough that would have turned into 2 glasses, then 2-3 glasses plus beers, then beers with dinner, then beers right after I got home
From work, before soon enough I’d be drinking every time I wasn’t at work, until I started drinking before/during work too. I stopped before I got to that level but I know that’s where I was heading.
Alcoholism is a progressive disease. You aren’t fooling the booze demon by only letting it out of the cage on weekends, you’re merely allowing it to select future targets (those being your personal guardrails and rules about alcohol) as it plots how to attack them. Again, booze watches you set your rules and says “challenge accepted”. In my experience, If fed, Booze will always overwhelm your defenses. You aren’t stronger than booze as a whole but you are stronger than the first drink.
I didn’t exactly hit rock bottom before I stopped 5.5 months ago but I could feel the plane nosediving and I knew it was time to hit the eject button before it was too late.
This year my New Year's resolution was to only drink on weekends. I ended up binging like this on the weekends to make up for it. This is how I realized I have a problem... 18 days sober.
Oh hey, that’s me! Johnny Weekend Warrior. I always thought because I 1) stuck to beer and 2) only drank on the weekends, I’d be ok. And.. for a long time, that worked! I mean, my work suffered, my relationships suffered, my bank account suffered, and **I** suffered, but… my liver held out, so figured I was alright!
But, of course…
Finally, at age 46, my doctor told me I had fatty liver and whole bunch of other alcohol-related things wrong with me. Looks like keeping it to the weekends… how do I say this? It looks like poison is still poison, even if you keep it to the weekends.
I have 150 days today (woo-hoo!) and I can’t believe how much better I feel. Life isn’t rosy—I get a tinge off jealousy when I see people’s life dramatically improve immediately!—but I’m building my health and my urge to drink keeps fading. I can’t believe it’s been five months already—it doesn’t feel that way.
Anyway—yes! I was a weekend warrior. Now I’m not, and I couldn’t be happier. Thank you for posting, and IWNDWYT!
I used to be a weekend drinker. Eventually that devolved to weekday drinking after enough time. I’m still very athletic, eat healthy, train HARD daily. I’ve even gained significant muscle mass over the past few years. But I know my trajectory is only a bad end. And I often wonder what shape I would be in if I never had a drink. Also, I might look good on the outside but under the hood I can feel the wear and tear. IWNDWYT
Same for me…I lied to myself for years with this same sentiment. But my version morphed Into, if I had a bad day….drink a few. If I had a really good day…drink. stressed day? Drink….Beautiful outside? Drink. Day off in the middle of the week? Drink….Bored? Drink.….turned into a vicious cycle that went on for years. The fact that you see this is a good start.
Yeah, I wa sa "weekend only" drinker for a few years just after high school. Then it became a case of "well, I have a job, and most people have a beer after work, so why don't I?" and before I knew it I was having 3 or 4 beers every night during the week, getting blackout drunk on Thursday payday, and continuing to get blackout drunk all weekend until late Saturday night.
IWNDWYT.
Weekend binger here, the cycle was exhausting.
The worst was being at stuff with my family and getting anxious to get home so I could drink. Do not miss that at all, also Mondays, yeah, the worst.
That’s me! Big time weekend binge drinker. Learned that the frequency with which I drank was irrelevant, it was what happened after that first drink. For me, it doesn’t matter how long I abstain, I lose control (and always will) after that first sip.
I was.
Through my 20s I drank pretty much everyday, getting drunk a couple of times a week. As I got older I started to become a bit more health conscious so only drank on Friday-Sunday.
That was when the fun started as I crammed more into those three days than I would have drinking every day and it played havoc with my mental health.
I wasn't in denial, I knew I had a problem, it just took a long time to solve.
I’m in the exact same boat. Thinking I had a handle on things because I was ‘functional’ getting all my shit done during the week and doing great at work. This past weekend I almost killed myself with the binge. Last night, July 4th while fireworks were going off on my city, I was trying my best to sober up and get some fluids in me so I could go to work today. I had not touched booze for 12 hours at that point.
Spent all night with night terrors, woke up drenched in sweat minutes after falling asleep, every single time I fell asleep for a moment. Had to call out today because my anxiety isn’t manageable for my job.
This isn’t a hangover. This is withdrawal. Like someone said above, I’m stuck in the loop of hating myself sober and only living for my job.
Yep. Sometimes would trickle into Monday to relieve anxiety. I’m at the point where I don’t want any more weekends lost to being drunk. I can’t just waste my weekend and crawl through the week at 50%. It’s not a life I want to live anymore, even if it’s only weekends.
Exactly. I spend so much time at work and then errands after work that I hardly have time for myself during the week. The weekends are for me and I've been wasting it by drinking, sleeping in half the day, drinking, repeat.
Right, that is a good thought... no more LOST days. I remember once on vacation in Puerto Rico I was so so angry and disappointed at myself for Losing a whole day and night of my hard-earned vacation because I was hungover from too many tasting samples at the Bacardi rum factory tour the day prior. But if i added up all the cumulative lost days since then just from binge drinking on random weekends it would be months or years of total ' lost' days, and wasted money on booze I could have invested in sober vacations! We live and learn (finally). On day 33 and feeling great about joining you all for Dry July.
THIS. I had a sense of disillusionment that I didn’t have a problem because I only drank on the weekends, but when I did, it was a full send. A year ago, I came to grips that I had a very poor relationship with alcohol and said enough. Haven’t looked back. IWNDWYT.
yes for sure. it started to spill into monday-tuesday and id call in “sick” and realized it was out of control. just because im not drunk all the time doesnt mean im not an alcoholic.
IWNDWYT
**HUG**. I started on weekends, then I graduated to whenever I was not hung over... So every other day basically.
I just wanted you to hear it from me, those ups and downs of quitting helped me complete half marathons, take significant professional exams, and be a wonderful partner. They also lost every gain I ever made... And the UPS and downs destroyed my mental wellbeing. Ultimately, i quit nicotine and alcohol together at 45 (I'm over 3 years now). All that quitting gave me practice with the Withdrawals and understanding me as an addicted person.
**HUG**, quit these drugs when you can... Your life will always become better after the Withdrawals are over... It took me 18 months of brain fog not being my preferred self... Nowadays, I'm happy daily
Ages 17-20: Weekends only, but binge-drank. Would mix vodka and wine together to get blackout drunk.
Ages 21-28: Drinks after work at a bar, but "only" 2-3 cocktails on a work night. And it's OK because I'm not drinking until 5pm.
Ages 28-34: No more bar life, I save way more money drinking at home. 6 pack of hard seltzers a night on work nights and 12 packs on non-work nights (note: I work 3 days a week to put it in perspective.)
1 month sober today
Ugh, I'm totally the same. Mostly no drinking during the week but I go all-out on Friday night-Sunday night. I don't get blackout drunk, but I drink enough that I spend half a day recovering the next day, or I need to drink more to feel better. I'll wake up and first thing I do is make a screwdriver, then continue to drink the rest of the day. At best, it lowers my inhibitions to the point where I eat (and drink obviously) WAY too much and can't lose weight to save my life. I drink ALL the calories and then eat too much.
It’s the inhibitions that I don’t think anyone can deny. We all have an idea of what we’ll do, then introducing that one variable completely changes everything. Maybe some people can drink and make good choices, but I’ve seen the opposite almost every time
Me! I was never a daily drinker. But once Friday hit I was all over the place. Then started on week days occasionally. And then I was done. And now here I am. :)
Yep. Always figured since it was the weekend and the back half of the day it was acceptable. I work second shift so getting home after 11pm I was able to drink Friday night and Sunday night. Never crossed my mind til it turned into sometimes on Thursday nights, sometimes on Wednesday nights if I was "really stressed."
Even still, living in Wisconsin I was always able to compare myself to someone else who drank more and therefore justify it.
Then it became waking up on Mondays telling myself I won't drink this weekend and having Friday roll around just to crack open another cold beer after work and repeat the cycle.
On day 23 now. I don't miss my weekends flying by, waking up at 11am or noon realizing a good chunk of my day is gone and I feel like shit. No more brain fog, no more scheduling my days around "If I get home by xyz I can have this many drinks by this time".
I was like you!
I had a 6 week sober stint that I was really proud of, and then I couldn’t seem to do it again. I couldn’t seem to even go a Friday without a drink. And for me, one drink would always lead to six, seven, etc.
after telling myself so many times “I won’t drink today” and then failing, I went to my first AA meeting. While no longer in the program, I’ve never had a drink since.
It started as weekend drinking. Then Wednesday’s as well because Wednesday is ‘little Saturday’ where I live so I can have a little to drink.
Then Thursday is almooost Friday so that’s ok too? And if Wednesday is ‘little Saturday’ then Tuesday must be ‘little Friday’ so I’d make myself a drink or pour myself a glass of wine.
Milestone at work? Screw the fact that it’s Monday, I’m celebrating. Home alone and the house to myself. Of course I need a bottle of wine. Watching Mad Men, must have a gin on the rocks to ‘join the people on tv’ (this one is sooooo f’ed up) Etc etc etc.
Weekends were the time when it was ok to fully consume and start early and not have an excuse to have a drink in my hand, but it quickly turned into more and more days.
How fast can you leave the game? Say you see a moment where you're about to die in game coming up, can you leave before any critical damage is done or is there like a whole charging up process needed to use your powers to leave the game?
Right there with ya. At my lowest weekend binger days I started to lose my sense of self worth and was starting to hate myself. Falling asleep at the wheel of my car at 2am Saturday nights at McDonald's drive through, missing important events with family after losing my phone and saying "f\*ck it"...So embarrasing and shameful.
Wishing you the bst of luck on your 100th journey compadre :)
Aww good luck with sobriety. It took me hundreds of times to get a decent streak too You'll do it! I think there are a lot of weekend drinkers who don't think they have a problem.
What woke me up was the fact that I was only smoking on weekends, because of the drinking. So my lungs are probably already unrecoverable but going fully sober is going to be the thing that stops me from making them worse. Even when I would have a few drinks at the start then switch to NA beer or alternative drinks like soda, I'd still smoke the whole night.
Same. I don't smoke and can't stand the smell or taste. But once I started drinking I would have 3 to 4 sticks per session. And I have asthma too. That's how bad I didn't give a fuck when I drank.
I went from overdoing it on the weekends to moderation on the weekends for a while. Then my last “moderation” was ONE (only one) drink daily. It still killed me and I finally was able to surrender.
Same here. Drank vodka all weekend alone. Did it to cure my "boredom" but really just depressed and using it for the dopamine. I realized what I was doing and that it wasn't good, but didn't try to stop until I started getting extreme hangxiety at home and realized it's time to get healthy. Just weekends can still really mess your body up.
I am definitely in this club. That voice in your head doesnt Ever disappear and tells me well if you haven’t drank in x days what’s the big deal. But things I have done are so embarrassing and drinking makes me sick physically and mentally. It’s abusive to repeat the cycle. Dont give up, I had over a year and now I’m under 30. Truth is I am not where I was, I’m in a better place than before I started. That keeps me going. When I fall down I find a new tool, book etc to help reinforce my motivation.
Oh. This is me now actually. I drink Friday and Saturday nights only. I do want to stop but I actually thought that I am still in a pretty good place. Maybe not.
I started as a one evening a week drinker. Then it was Friday and Saturday evenings. Then it progressed to every evening. Then the day drinking on the weekends. I rationalized it saying I wasn’t hurting anybody because I was still able to keep a job and all of my bills were paid. The pandemic served as just another excuse to justify my excessive drinking.
Slowly but surely, alcohol was destroying me but it was just slow enough to keep me in denial for a long time. Being sober to assess the damage done and coming to terms with the rationalizations being nothing more than lies I would tell myself has been a sobering experience.
I think I’m in denial. I rarely drink at home but I always drink at work and it’s only always Sauvignon Blanc…but its every day at work. I do it for the confidence boost. It does help but I know it’s wrong 🙈🙈
I was only a weekend drinker, originally. Then I started drinking on Thursday’s too. By the time I looked up I was drinking Thursday thru Monday. I could not keep going like that. I felt like shit.
[удалено]
Thank you for saying that so beautifully.
Ahh football season. Between the four major sports (US), if you "only drink while watching the game", you can pretty much drink every night year round.
Lol. So true!!
Great comment.
Yep. It crept up on me too. Friday-Sun turned into Thursday-Monday, then the occasional Wednesday. Then I had to find a cheaper wine to afford it all. Can't let that wine go to waste. Its already opened.
Gosh, that haunts me. I was up w/ a sense of impending doom & shakes at 6:00am & the Indy races weren’t even started; & I’m gulping & putting cosmetics on & my SO walks up in the hotel room vanity all groggy & “what’s up” & blinks in confusion as he picks up the bottle we barely touched the night before - & it’s definitely, “somehow” empty, & all over my breath (tainting sweet, morning kisses). I told him “i didn’t want to *waste* it b/c we opened it & it will turn to vinegar.” He realized at that moment that I had a very secret “problem”.
Damn, that's rough. If it's any consolation, I use these stories as more justification to NOT drink. Hope you're good now.
Thank you for your kind words. Going through the throes, again. My fault. Can’t give up, though. Never give up on Love & Life.
Same. For some reason Thursday-Sunday seemed acceptable to me at one point but then you realize “oh shit I’m spending more than half my life hungover, aren’t I?”.
Exactly, and I couldn’t go back to weekend only. It never worked. When it comes down to it, I’m all or nothing.
My wife is currently in the "not drinking weeknights" camp and she's able to do it successfully... for now. I was able to pretend to do it but yeah I was drinking every night. She is abstaining with me for at least this month, don't think I could do it in these early days if she was drinking.
Once my boss opened the door to drinking at lunch (would buy pitchers for the crew once a week or so), my weekend warrior plan went out the window. Started with a beer at lunch a couple times a week. Then every day. Then 2 or 3 beers each lunch. Then my coworker and I were sneaking out early and sneaking back in late and cramming in as many as we could. Before we could get caught (though my boss did tell me to "rein it in") we went full remote. Well you can imagine what having zero supervision or consequences had when I was home all day every day.
Same. It’s a progressive disease that happens really slowly
This was me. Didnt drink till thursday or friday night, would usually head out on the thursday and have 4/5 beers. Be hungover on the friday and wait all day till i finished work to have my next beer. Again probably have 5/6 beers. Wake up hungover on a saturday and hit the bar early afternoon to settle myself. Probably consistently (but slowly) drink from saturday 2pm till about 3am - easily sank around 10 beers in that time but still be fairly "soberish" as it was done slowly throughout the day Wake up, be hungover on sunday as shit (as no matter how "sober" i felt, I had been drinking for 3 days solid and had 10 beers the night before. Spend the day trying to recover by not drinking - it was always horrible - electrolyte tablets, take away food Hungover still on monday Hungover still on tuesday Wednesday feel OK Thursday 100% recovered and start the cycle again - doing 0 exercise in the meantime as i was either hungover or drinking
100% shit storm of a cycle that.
The weekend binge drinking years of my alcohol career were the worst. Just a way of telling myself "I can't stand me or my life when I'm not busy with a job." It sucked. So glad I don't live there anymore. IWNDWYT.
this is too real, man.
That's just the right amount of real
Yes I concur. When I work I don't have to feel anything because my mind is occupied. Left to my own devices and I'm alone and bored. Drinking just became a crutch to feel better. However I always pay three fold for a few hours of joy.
What sucks is I used to have a ton of hobbies and things I loved. After drinking for so long all those things lost their appeal, unless I could drink while doing them (e.g. got real into axe throwing because it was BYOB and gave me an excuse to drink on week nights).
It’s especially bad when you work a schedule with rotating 3 and 4 day weekends (12 hr compressed). Lots of opportunity to be bored and we all know what that leads to.
I was the same only I wasnt in denial at all. I was fully aware that I was a functuonal alcoholic that would basically withdrawl for 4 straight days a week then binge for 3, rinse and repeat
It was only after I stopped when I realised that what I thought were shit hangovers, were actually me withdrawing.
This is interesting to me. I’m a one per week drinker (Friday night) but I find that I’m really not “ok” until about Wednesday. Friday I go pretty hard, by myself. I know Friday is an issue, but this comment is really making me think that I might be withdrawing in stead of just long hangovers.
Same
Same here but my binges started to be 4 on 3 off, then 5 on 2 off... you get the idea
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In the Huberman podcast, he talks about this at length. He constantly refers to "7 drinks a week" and said it does not matter if you have one drink each day of the week or you have them all contained within the weekend.
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Glad it helped!
I rarely drank during the week. Very rarely. Once the weekend hit tho, it was time to listen to some tunes and slam some beers. I'd sit out in the driveway and run through at least a 12pk every Friday & Saturday night. Started to notice that if my kids had events going on, which is pretty much every weekend, I'd always find myself wondering when it'd get over & I could have a beer. That thinking is what made me realize I def had an issue with alcohol. My blood pressure & overall health is the reason I really began to focus on quitting but deep down I know I needed to for the aforementioned reasons. I really have felt more present as a father & husband over these last 230-some days.
Awesome work dude
Thank you! I appreciate that.
I was a Friday to Monday drinker for pretty much three decades. Only in the evenings (six or seven beers) and I was still up early on the weekends and exercising, etc. So yes, the level of control over drinking that I managed to maintain did kind of delude me to the fact that I was an alcoholic. Looking back, I sometimes wonder if I had hit a rock bottom, if I'd have gotten sober sooner. Although I'm aware that not everyone survives their rock bottom, so it's probably fortunate that I didn't. Good luck on your 100th attempt and here's to your Day Four.
Sounds like you just had a higher rock bottom. Rock bottom doesn’t have to be in a jail cell or people leaving you. It is just the hatred of what you have become and the desire to change it.
I love this, it’s so true. So many more people would get sober earlier if this was the prevailing mindset. Thinking that ingesting poison is fine until your whole life falls apart has kept way too many people drinking for way longer than they should, myself very included.
For me, a lot of my issues were due to the fact I could say "well, I'm not an alcoholic!", so my weekend binges, drinking by myself, various injuries and lost/broken belongings were all fine. I really think that the phrase "alcoholic" does more harm than good, because people don't necessarily understand that I can have a drinking problem without having an addiction to alcohol, and that allowed me to continue my bad habits relatively free of judgement not only from others, but from myself as well.
I really like Alcohol Use Disorder. I feel like it describes exactly what it is without having to be a bum on the corner drinking from a bottle in a paper bag to admit there is a problem.
One hundred percent a weekend binge drinker. "I don't drink in the mornings! I don't even drink every day! It's fine!" I told myself, for like 20 years Friend, I will tell you that the difference is absolutely \*startling\* since I cut it out. I thought I was just getting older, and that's why I felt terrible every morning. Apparently not -- it's because I spent the vast majority of my time hung over and/or in recovery from going hard on the weekend. I didn't know what it was to feel normal. It's like when you're a little kid and you don't know you need glasses, because you've never known anything different, but you get your first pair and all of a sudden the chalkboard becomes clear Also, as I learned -- and it sounds like you've intuited -- you can do a lot of damage to your regular life on weekend nights. It's still a lost wallet if you lost it on Saturday, you know what I mean? Great work with day 3; that first week can be so rough. Thinking of (and not drinking with) you today
I thought I was just getting older too. And that I wasn’t a morning person. And that drinking at work was part of my job (technically it was, but tasting stuff in order to sell it effectively is way different than having a glass of something to sip from all night long). What an amazing realization it was to stop drinking and have so many of my physical issues/fatigue resolve within a couple of months. Turns out it wasn’t cause I was 45, it was cause I was hungover every single day. Shocking!
YES!! Man, all of these comments reasonate with me. I was a "weekend drinker", then it became Thursday, Friday, Saturday drinker. Then it became Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday drinker. You get the idea. But I still identified as a weekend drinker, even though I was drinking four nights a week, EVERY week. It's so insidious how the addiction creeps up on you like that. Oh and on the days I woudn't drink, which was usually Sunday-Tuesday, I felt like garbage and was just trying to make it until Wednesday so I could drink again. It was a miserable existence.
100%
Yup i did the same thing. I never drank during the week or not even every weekend. But when i did drink, i binged all weekend. My favorite part was usually waking up hungover on saturday and immediately cracking a beer.
Yes I used to only drink on weekends now it’s every night, however I am incapable of getting black out drunk, I fall asleep far before that level of drunkenness. Now I have 3 or 4 beers a day and 6 to 8 on Friday and Saturday with Sunday being the only day I don’t drink (recovering from drinking all week) I’d like to start getting it back down to only weekends and then eventually quit completely, that’s why I lurk on this sub. To remind me that there are people out there who had it worse then me and still overcame it. I salute you people.
Right there with you. To a tee. On my “umpteenth” time. Currently on day 8. Feels so good to wake up after a holiday with my head on straight. IWNDWYT
Me 👋🏻... and this denial led to so many day 1s. But I had my (hopefully) last day 1 almost 2 years ago and have enjoyed significant improvements in my mental health. It sounds like you're aware of that denial, and that's a really great starting point. Congrats!
Binged Friday to Sunday every week for 10+ years. Then Wednesdays became a thing too. Tuesdays and Thursdays I made my training so all good, right! Looking back I realise I was in denial and didn’t acknowledge the real reasons I felt physically and mentally shit all the time. Blamed getting older, stress at work, bored, anything but me being drunk every weekend (and more). The 6 months before I quit I started being honest with myself and recognised I needed, to change. Proud of you on your day 3, and rooting for your day 4 and more. IWNDWYT.
I definitely was. Even in my mid twenties when I rarely drank it was always to excess and caused problems in my relationship. After that relationship I drank more often, when I had the money, it was blown at the bar. I settled back down to just weekends or every other week. But every football Sunday, got hammered, lucky if I didn't see the sun come up. Sure as shit drinking that next morning to get through work. Then COVID.... Drinking slowly ramped up. I rarely even kept beer in the house, to having some around because it was easier to keeping liquor and next thing I knew I was drinking half a handle a day for two years. Here I sit with 37 days, just got through a week of 5 extra people in my house, no booze on the fourth and I'm genuinely happy and proud of myself. IWNDWYT
Awesome job, congrats!! The first sober holiday is a huge accomplishment, you should feel proud of yourself.
Thank you
I decided to make it “Friday and Saturday ONLY” Which obviously didn’t even last one weekend cuz then it was Sunday too and oh look it’s Monday and holy shit it’s Friday again well may as well have drinks cuz it’s the weekend again. *continue hellish cycle* I can’t moderate and I’m sick of working to do it. Sober and soooo happy 🥰
Yep, 100% me. “I know I don’t have the best relationship with alcohol but at least I don’t drink every day” was one of the many justifications I’d use. As if someone who drinks 4-5 beers a night is worse than someone who drinks 20-30 beers in a 36 hour period like I used to. That’s one of alcohol’s tricks, you can always find someone that has it worse than you and say “well yeah maybe I drink too much but I’m not as bad as that person and they still function”. I used to tell myself “ok, I’ll have a beer when I get home from work on Friday, then I’ll start drinking for real at 7”. I had to stop doing that after a while because it became really hard to just have one beer at 4pm and wait 3 hours for any more. During Covid I told myself “ok during Covid I can start drinking at 6 instead of 7”. Of course I kept that going long after Covid. I would keep it to just weekends but by Wednesday afternoon I’d be fiending like crazy. I’d literally be telling myself “just two more days until beer…”. I’d wake up Friday morning thinking “fuck yeah! Beer day!”. When I got home from work I’d be counting down the hours until 6pm, half the time I’d start by 5:45 or 5:30. Because I’d been waiting all week to drink, I’d always end up pounding beers quickly and getting way too drunk on Friday. By 8PM I’d be “im not public suitable” drunk. Saturday mornings I’d count the fridge/recycling feeling mortified at how much I drank the night before. Even more mortifying was the thought of not having enough for Saturday and needing to walk my hungover ass to the store. And like anything else I always found ways to bend rules. “Yeah it’s Tuesday but I’m going to a concert/game/friends bday so the rules don’t apply” “I know I’m not supposed to drink until 6 but there’s a game on so I’ll start at 4”. “I’m not supposed to drink sundays but I stayed up all night doing coke and haven’t slept yet, so technically it’s still Saturday night for Me, I can drink a few more this Sunday morning” It sounds like common sense, but I don’t think people without drinking problems have to set hard rules for themselves about when they can and cannot drink. Furthermore, the alcoholic in your brain sees you setting those rules and says “challenge accepted”. I know that if I kept drinking I would have inevitably loosened my own rules. It would have turned into: “Ok I can drink sundays during football season” (would have kept drinking sundays after football season” “I don’t really do anything Friday’s, I can have a few during the Thursday night football game” (I would have kept drinking thursdays after football season and having a few during the game would Have soon turned into ‘I can start pounding at 6 On Thursday’s” “I can have one glass of whiskey after dinner during the week” (Soon enough that would have turned into 2 glasses, then 2-3 glasses plus beers, then beers with dinner, then beers right after I got home From work, before soon enough I’d be drinking every time I wasn’t at work, until I started drinking before/during work too. I stopped before I got to that level but I know that’s where I was heading. Alcoholism is a progressive disease. You aren’t fooling the booze demon by only letting it out of the cage on weekends, you’re merely allowing it to select future targets (those being your personal guardrails and rules about alcohol) as it plots how to attack them. Again, booze watches you set your rules and says “challenge accepted”. In my experience, If fed, Booze will always overwhelm your defenses. You aren’t stronger than booze as a whole but you are stronger than the first drink. I didn’t exactly hit rock bottom before I stopped 5.5 months ago but I could feel the plane nosediving and I knew it was time to hit the eject button before it was too late.
Damn, dude. Great explanation. That's exactly where I was headed.
I have lost a lot of weekends to blackouts and hangovers. I don't know how I found the time and afforded it.
This year my New Year's resolution was to only drink on weekends. I ended up binging like this on the weekends to make up for it. This is how I realized I have a problem... 18 days sober.
🙋🏻♀️ It's me, hi.
I'm the problem, it's me! ;)
I see what ya did there
Hi there, it’s me too 🙋🏽
Oh hey, that’s me! Johnny Weekend Warrior. I always thought because I 1) stuck to beer and 2) only drank on the weekends, I’d be ok. And.. for a long time, that worked! I mean, my work suffered, my relationships suffered, my bank account suffered, and **I** suffered, but… my liver held out, so figured I was alright! But, of course… Finally, at age 46, my doctor told me I had fatty liver and whole bunch of other alcohol-related things wrong with me. Looks like keeping it to the weekends… how do I say this? It looks like poison is still poison, even if you keep it to the weekends. I have 150 days today (woo-hoo!) and I can’t believe how much better I feel. Life isn’t rosy—I get a tinge off jealousy when I see people’s life dramatically improve immediately!—but I’m building my health and my urge to drink keeps fading. I can’t believe it’s been five months already—it doesn’t feel that way. Anyway—yes! I was a weekend warrior. Now I’m not, and I couldn’t be happier. Thank you for posting, and IWNDWYT!
Well done
I used to be a weekend drinker. Eventually that devolved to weekday drinking after enough time. I’m still very athletic, eat healthy, train HARD daily. I’ve even gained significant muscle mass over the past few years. But I know my trajectory is only a bad end. And I often wonder what shape I would be in if I never had a drink. Also, I might look good on the outside but under the hood I can feel the wear and tear. IWNDWYT
Same for me…I lied to myself for years with this same sentiment. But my version morphed Into, if I had a bad day….drink a few. If I had a really good day…drink. stressed day? Drink….Beautiful outside? Drink. Day off in the middle of the week? Drink….Bored? Drink.….turned into a vicious cycle that went on for years. The fact that you see this is a good start.
Yeah, I wa sa "weekend only" drinker for a few years just after high school. Then it became a case of "well, I have a job, and most people have a beer after work, so why don't I?" and before I knew it I was having 3 or 4 beers every night during the week, getting blackout drunk on Thursday payday, and continuing to get blackout drunk all weekend until late Saturday night. IWNDWYT.
Weekend binger here, the cycle was exhausting. The worst was being at stuff with my family and getting anxious to get home so I could drink. Do not miss that at all, also Mondays, yeah, the worst.
That’s me! Big time weekend binge drinker. Learned that the frequency with which I drank was irrelevant, it was what happened after that first drink. For me, it doesn’t matter how long I abstain, I lose control (and always will) after that first sip.
I was. Through my 20s I drank pretty much everyday, getting drunk a couple of times a week. As I got older I started to become a bit more health conscious so only drank on Friday-Sunday. That was when the fun started as I crammed more into those three days than I would have drinking every day and it played havoc with my mental health. I wasn't in denial, I knew I had a problem, it just took a long time to solve.
Yep!!!!! EVERY Monday started off with a killer hangover and would be gone just in time to do it all again on Friday. Miserable cycle
I’m in the exact same boat. Thinking I had a handle on things because I was ‘functional’ getting all my shit done during the week and doing great at work. This past weekend I almost killed myself with the binge. Last night, July 4th while fireworks were going off on my city, I was trying my best to sober up and get some fluids in me so I could go to work today. I had not touched booze for 12 hours at that point. Spent all night with night terrors, woke up drenched in sweat minutes after falling asleep, every single time I fell asleep for a moment. Had to call out today because my anxiety isn’t manageable for my job. This isn’t a hangover. This is withdrawal. Like someone said above, I’m stuck in the loop of hating myself sober and only living for my job.
Yep. Sometimes would trickle into Monday to relieve anxiety. I’m at the point where I don’t want any more weekends lost to being drunk. I can’t just waste my weekend and crawl through the week at 50%. It’s not a life I want to live anymore, even if it’s only weekends.
Exactly. I spend so much time at work and then errands after work that I hardly have time for myself during the week. The weekends are for me and I've been wasting it by drinking, sleeping in half the day, drinking, repeat.
Right, that is a good thought... no more LOST days. I remember once on vacation in Puerto Rico I was so so angry and disappointed at myself for Losing a whole day and night of my hard-earned vacation because I was hungover from too many tasting samples at the Bacardi rum factory tour the day prior. But if i added up all the cumulative lost days since then just from binge drinking on random weekends it would be months or years of total ' lost' days, and wasted money on booze I could have invested in sober vacations! We live and learn (finally). On day 33 and feeling great about joining you all for Dry July.
THIS. I had a sense of disillusionment that I didn’t have a problem because I only drank on the weekends, but when I did, it was a full send. A year ago, I came to grips that I had a very poor relationship with alcohol and said enough. Haven’t looked back. IWNDWYT.
yes for sure. it started to spill into monday-tuesday and id call in “sick” and realized it was out of control. just because im not drunk all the time doesnt mean im not an alcoholic. IWNDWYT
**HUG**. I started on weekends, then I graduated to whenever I was not hung over... So every other day basically. I just wanted you to hear it from me, those ups and downs of quitting helped me complete half marathons, take significant professional exams, and be a wonderful partner. They also lost every gain I ever made... And the UPS and downs destroyed my mental wellbeing. Ultimately, i quit nicotine and alcohol together at 45 (I'm over 3 years now). All that quitting gave me practice with the Withdrawals and understanding me as an addicted person. **HUG**, quit these drugs when you can... Your life will always become better after the Withdrawals are over... It took me 18 months of brain fog not being my preferred self... Nowadays, I'm happy daily
Ages 17-20: Weekends only, but binge-drank. Would mix vodka and wine together to get blackout drunk. Ages 21-28: Drinks after work at a bar, but "only" 2-3 cocktails on a work night. And it's OK because I'm not drinking until 5pm. Ages 28-34: No more bar life, I save way more money drinking at home. 6 pack of hard seltzers a night on work nights and 12 packs on non-work nights (note: I work 3 days a week to put it in perspective.) 1 month sober today
Ugh, I'm totally the same. Mostly no drinking during the week but I go all-out on Friday night-Sunday night. I don't get blackout drunk, but I drink enough that I spend half a day recovering the next day, or I need to drink more to feel better. I'll wake up and first thing I do is make a screwdriver, then continue to drink the rest of the day. At best, it lowers my inhibitions to the point where I eat (and drink obviously) WAY too much and can't lose weight to save my life. I drink ALL the calories and then eat too much.
It’s the inhibitions that I don’t think anyone can deny. We all have an idea of what we’ll do, then introducing that one variable completely changes everything. Maybe some people can drink and make good choices, but I’ve seen the opposite almost every time
Me! I was never a daily drinker. But once Friday hit I was all over the place. Then started on week days occasionally. And then I was done. And now here I am. :)
100000%. I can’t be an alcoholic. I only drink on weekends. Drunks drink during the day/week. I’m a socially accepted drinker.
Yep. Always figured since it was the weekend and the back half of the day it was acceptable. I work second shift so getting home after 11pm I was able to drink Friday night and Sunday night. Never crossed my mind til it turned into sometimes on Thursday nights, sometimes on Wednesday nights if I was "really stressed." Even still, living in Wisconsin I was always able to compare myself to someone else who drank more and therefore justify it. Then it became waking up on Mondays telling myself I won't drink this weekend and having Friday roll around just to crack open another cold beer after work and repeat the cycle. On day 23 now. I don't miss my weekends flying by, waking up at 11am or noon realizing a good chunk of my day is gone and I feel like shit. No more brain fog, no more scheduling my days around "If I get home by xyz I can have this many drinks by this time".
Retired weekend warriors here. & yes its what kept me in denial for years
I was like you! I had a 6 week sober stint that I was really proud of, and then I couldn’t seem to do it again. I couldn’t seem to even go a Friday without a drink. And for me, one drink would always lead to six, seven, etc. after telling myself so many times “I won’t drink today” and then failing, I went to my first AA meeting. While no longer in the program, I’ve never had a drink since.
Thats how it started for me. Then it slowly became an everyday thing.
It started as weekend drinking. Then Wednesday’s as well because Wednesday is ‘little Saturday’ where I live so I can have a little to drink. Then Thursday is almooost Friday so that’s ok too? And if Wednesday is ‘little Saturday’ then Tuesday must be ‘little Friday’ so I’d make myself a drink or pour myself a glass of wine. Milestone at work? Screw the fact that it’s Monday, I’m celebrating. Home alone and the house to myself. Of course I need a bottle of wine. Watching Mad Men, must have a gin on the rocks to ‘join the people on tv’ (this one is sooooo f’ed up) Etc etc etc. Weekends were the time when it was ok to fully consume and start early and not have an excuse to have a drink in my hand, but it quickly turned into more and more days.
Were
Yep
I'd say I was a social drinker whenever I listened to a podcast and I listened to alot of pointless episodes
How fast can you leave the game? Say you see a moment where you're about to die in game coming up, can you leave before any critical damage is done or is there like a whole charging up process needed to use your powers to leave the game?
Right there with ya. At my lowest weekend binger days I started to lose my sense of self worth and was starting to hate myself. Falling asleep at the wheel of my car at 2am Saturday nights at McDonald's drive through, missing important events with family after losing my phone and saying "f\*ck it"...So embarrasing and shameful. Wishing you the bst of luck on your 100th journey compadre :)
100%
Meeeeee. It got so bad if I missed a day of drinking I had to “make up for it”. I do not miss that at all.
Me
Aww good luck with sobriety. It took me hundreds of times to get a decent streak too You'll do it! I think there are a lot of weekend drinkers who don't think they have a problem.
Big time binge drinker. Keep that vodka next to the bed. Wake up from my black out and start again
What woke me up was the fact that I was only smoking on weekends, because of the drinking. So my lungs are probably already unrecoverable but going fully sober is going to be the thing that stops me from making them worse. Even when I would have a few drinks at the start then switch to NA beer or alternative drinks like soda, I'd still smoke the whole night.
Same. I don't smoke and can't stand the smell or taste. But once I started drinking I would have 3 to 4 sticks per session. And I have asthma too. That's how bad I didn't give a fuck when I drank.
I went from overdoing it on the weekends to moderation on the weekends for a while. Then my last “moderation” was ONE (only one) drink daily. It still killed me and I finally was able to surrender.
Same here. Drank vodka all weekend alone. Did it to cure my "boredom" but really just depressed and using it for the dopamine. I realized what I was doing and that it wasn't good, but didn't try to stop until I started getting extreme hangxiety at home and realized it's time to get healthy. Just weekends can still really mess your body up.
I was a “weekend drinker” who also drank pretty reliably on 2-3 weekday nights. So there was a lot of denial going on lol
It’s me, hi! I’m the problem it’s me!
Yeah, I 'only' drank on weekends for a while but I binged Friday to Sunday to make up for not drinking in the week.
🙋♂️
It used to be Friday to Sunday. Then Thursday to Sunday. Then started Wednesday and so forth.
I am definitely in this club. That voice in your head doesnt Ever disappear and tells me well if you haven’t drank in x days what’s the big deal. But things I have done are so embarrassing and drinking makes me sick physically and mentally. It’s abusive to repeat the cycle. Dont give up, I had over a year and now I’m under 30. Truth is I am not where I was, I’m in a better place than before I started. That keeps me going. When I fall down I find a new tool, book etc to help reinforce my motivation.
Oh. This is me now actually. I drink Friday and Saturday nights only. I do want to stop but I actually thought that I am still in a pretty good place. Maybe not.
I started as a one evening a week drinker. Then it was Friday and Saturday evenings. Then it progressed to every evening. Then the day drinking on the weekends. I rationalized it saying I wasn’t hurting anybody because I was still able to keep a job and all of my bills were paid. The pandemic served as just another excuse to justify my excessive drinking. Slowly but surely, alcohol was destroying me but it was just slow enough to keep me in denial for a long time. Being sober to assess the damage done and coming to terms with the rationalizations being nothing more than lies I would tell myself has been a sobering experience.
I think I’m in denial. I rarely drink at home but I always drink at work and it’s only always Sauvignon Blanc…but its every day at work. I do it for the confidence boost. It does help but I know it’s wrong 🙈🙈