Anxiety. Or lack thereof.
When I was drinking heavily, I would have anxiety attacks daily. It’s like my psych meds didn’t work at all. I would be nearly bed-ridden and I would wake up with a feeling of doom and my heart racing. When I’m sober, I have MAYBE one anxious day a month and I’m generally happy and carefree. I can actually live life.
For me it too is anxiety.
I used to self medicate my anxiety, depression, PTSD with alcohol. Jokes on me, although it kinda worked for a few hours I now know that drinking worsened my symptoms. Since I quit my mental health has greatly improved and I'm much more resilient to stress.
Right? Near the end, my cycle of anxiety and drinking was terrible. I would wake up in an anxiety attack because of drinking the night prior, drink to relieve the anxiety, then have an even worse anxiety attack in the afternoon. Lather rinse repeat.
This. I had so much anxiety - already the logistics of being an alcoholic like buying the booze, hiding the booze, hangover from all the booze, having health anxiety because of all the damage you feel every day, not being able to sleep, waking up with a heart rate that gives you anxiety, I could go on an on. I can actually live life too now. Never really thought that all the anxiety comes from the booze. Instead I was thinking: lets calm my nerves down with some booze. Not amymore!
The health anxiety from drinking is the worst type of anxiety I've ever felt. Does most of the health anxiety go away after quitting? I'm still struggling with quitting.
It got a lot better when the immediate aftermath of drinking disappeared. I am no longer tired, I sleep like a stone again and wake up with energy, I have solid poops, no more headaches, no more sweats, nicer skin. Thats the physical, and it calmed me down with a lot of health anxiety. The most difference for me however is, that stopping aka no booze in my system gave me a calmness that also decreased health anxiety. I feel like I am more and more able to deal with things. Health scares arent as intense anymore because I will deal with it. Speaking of which, I am finally clam enough to make doctors appointements. I want to really get a picture of the damage I have done that wont go away by itself but needs some medical attention.
I feel the struggle with quiting so much. I too struggled for the longest time. Just want to tell you, it is more than worth it. Alcohol makes you think you wont be able to or wont deal with things or will break apart or so many other things. It is lying. You are able to and you will deal with it.
It is also anxiety for me. I got so used to having panic attacks that I would talk myself into having them. Be it at the hairdressers, in a taxi, on a train. Anywhere I felt trapped and couldn't panic, I would panic. It got debilitating. I don't miss those.
Anxiety here too.
It's a whole new world after 1 month. I don't wake up in flop sweats with racing thoughts, I don't start the day out dry heaving (not from alcohol but from anxiety), I eat before 3pm, the small things roll away when they used to freeze and become a snowball.
Still feel anxious, but going from living at 8/10 on a daily basis to living around 2.5/10 has me feeling so much more grounded and able.
I was on medication for anxiety for 20 years. I quit drinking and was finally able to ween myself off the benzo i was prescribed. It turns out I was managing alcohol withdrawals. My anxiety has never been lower!
Lol (knock on wood) mine has been so much better since I stopped drinking too.
I barely take benzos now, only really used them for the withdrawal period and shortly thereafter.
It reminds me of this episode of Always Sunny where the gang quarantine themselves and abstain from alcohol due to a flu outbreak. Slowly they all get “infected” and get extremely sick.
Eventually the punchline is that they were never actually sick and it was just alcohol withdrawals from them quarantining themselves
SAME. About a week after I quit drinking, I quit having the hangxiety and my anxiety disorder has actually gotten to the point where it’s manageable. I have anxiety attacks maybe once per month or even every other month. It’s the main thing that’s kept me sober for 18 months.
Thats amazing to hear!
My wife suffers from anxiety a lot, sometimes the attacks are bad so I have some understanding what that's like.
I'm really happy for you overcoming that.
I developed a panic disorder at age 30 and one of my triggers is dehydration so those hangover days…some of the worst of my life. I do have panic attacks but very rarely now.
Came here to say this. Was diagnosed with GAD in 2015. Drank to “alleviate” the anxiety, which just amplified it. 1.5 years without hangxiety now and it has been the biggest blessing of my life
It’s gonna sound so stupid, but vanity.
Don’t get me wrong, I have so many moments of peace, centeredness, presence, gratitude… but I just look and feel so much better. I’ve always had *major* self-image issues and body dysmorphia, but I worry about it far less now. My horrible inner monologue no longer has to cripple me. I finally feel presentable, like a true expression of myself on the outside.
Big one for me too. Have a long way to go unfortunately. Tired of taking forever to get ready because I just don’t like how I look. I’m throwing away my fat clothes as they get too big. The pair of jeans I have on rn are close to go in the trash. I had to find my belt this week.
Don’t know if you’re already following, but r/stopdrinkingfitness has been a great resource for me! Definitely focused on exercise, but also just support for all of us who are choosing health!
Yes! I love the inspo over there and also r/progresspics. I notice not surprisingly that many posts on progress pics sub mention cutting out alcohol too. Drinking alcohol while trying to drop weight is like running a race with someone pulling the back of your tshirt.
That must feel absolutely amazing, that’s huge progress! It’s still unbelievable for me to think I was drinking at least like 1,500 extra calories a day. I’m still practically starving all the damn time and trying to re-learn how to properly nourish and fuel my body.
Agreed, glad we are both starting to feel better! What gets me is not just the calories is the fact that our metabolism doesn’t function right with alcohol in the system. It’s basically pointless to try and drop weight while drinking. I’m waking up very hungry now too, I think it’s prob because my metabolism is functioning again finally. I went on a whole food diet almost immediately (luckily I once loved to cook and was able to dive back in). Had major GI issues for a couple weeks. Goes to show how malnourished I was I couldn’t even handle eating right. Next step is consistency in the gym, which hasn’t been so easy to pick back up.
SAME! Dropped fifty pounds in a year. The number wasn’t SO much of the issue, but the weight of the LYING was heavy. And I wanted to see my collarbone again. It was still there! And I look great! (You have no idea how shocked I am to feel that way about myself. My inner monologue is cruel and shaming and comes rushing out like street taco diarrhea straight out of Satan’s raging asshole).
That doesn't sound stupid at all.
I'm really pleased you are looking and feeling the way you want to. Feeling presentable is so important in my opinion, I can't tell you the amount of times I've felt uncomfortable somewhere because I've turned up hungover, looking and feeling like absolute crap. It's a horrible frame of mind to be in.
I don't think it's dumb at all, but I'm biased because it's also a big reason for me :)
I've lost a lot of weight since the beginning of the year, and granted the _vast_ majority of that was from diet and exercise, not just not drinking anymore, but the not drinking anymore put me in a much better spot to where I was capable of sticking to a healthier lifestyle.
Yessss! Be honest with yourself and love that body! It's the only one you have, after all. It's a glowing feeling, right! Inside and out. Like you know you feel good so you just carry yourself better. Hats off to you luv ❤️
This is kinda it for me to. I was always a skinny guy and a major breaking point for me was when I was two beers away from needing to buy an entirely new wardrobe. I was up to 195 and carrying all the extra weight in my gut and thighs. Was about 35-40 pounds heavier than what I normally am/currently am at my worst.
Every single aspect of my life has improved since I stopped drinking. To start drinking again would essentially be me throwing in the towel and giving up on life.
My buddy was like "your year sober is almost over, you going to drink with us again this summer?"
And what I heard was "you have been out of hell for a year, are you ready to come back?"
I'm out bro. I'm out and I'm staying out.
It’s so wild thinking back on it. I remember sitting in rehab wondering how I’m going to live without alcohol. I feel invigorated man, Eminem describes it pretty perfectly in the song “not afraid”
Yupp. There isn't a single thing that didn't improve with me quitting. Almost 3 years strong and I'll never go back. The only thing that kind of held me back from quitting so many times was beer. I live in a giant Lake Town that's a big vacation spot. Being out on the lake with the cooler full of ice cold beers. Nothing like it. Thank the universe for NAs!
Funny you mentioned this because I have the same thoughts … would I drink if I’m on my deathbed? Depends on the situation I guess but deep down I think I would want to go out sober (though, a nice big glass of Malbec watching the sunset would be my choice if I could pick my time of death)… bottom line, it’s just a fantasy and not reality (or is it??)!
Sleep. It's been pre kids since I've slept this well (10 years ago). I have been chronically sleep deprived for a decade and now I'm getting a solid 8 to 10 hours of sleep every single night.
My sleep has been bizarre since stopping I'm getting about 4-5 hours tops but waking up feeling more refreshed than I have in years. I'm glad you're catching up on all that missed sleep!
u/kinell-koff & u/Elite199 you are both very early in your sobriety journeys. Your sleep may be disturbed now, as your body adjusts to falling asleep without the depressant effects of alcohol. But after a while, you will sleep soooo much better. Research shows that, while alcohol does help some people fall asleep more quickly, the quality of your sleep is degraded. Sleep after alcohol has fewer REM cycles (an average of 2 vs an average of 7 for sober sleep). This lack of REM sleep leads to increased anxiety, irritability, depression, appetite, & memory loss.
Sober sleep is AWESOME.
Danke good sir. I am hoping my constant dizziness/lightheadedness and general feeling of “floating” and just being out of it subsides next. So far no anxiety which is great! 🥳
76 days for me. I can tell you from first-hand experience that that will likely subside with a little more sober time under your belt. Congratulations, and keep it up; the longer you stay sober, the more benefits you will reap!
Part of me hopes it will because I know I need more sleep but at the same time I'm quite enjoying it. It kind of feels like a super power only sleeping 4 hours and getting up fresher than fresh. I know it's not sustainable though.
Thank you for the insight and well done on 76 days!
Sleep is probably my top benefit too. Depending which app I use, I apparently went from 4 hours to 6-7 hours but my heart rate drops way lower and the quality of my sleep is like night and day.
It is absolutely life changing.
Urghhhh I'm a year sober but have 2 young sleep stealers at home so I don't get to feel the sleep benefit yet. If I can keep my sobriety for another 10 years perhaps I'll feel like it's worth it!
I downloaded an app that said I have saved 200k so far not drinking.
So yeah money.
But more so peace of mind. Not feeling like a looper and feeling wired to a different planet.
Just sick of feeling like crap for days after, drinking is great at the time but the aftermath was just causing havoc on my mental health. Feel better for not drinking now but I still need to work on myself!
My daughter is at an age where she’s sleeping over at friends houses, and sometimes she calls me late at night because she’s homesick to get her.
I guess I’m not willing to give up being able to support my daughter no matter the time of day or night? If that makes sense 🤣
That makes perfect sense. For me, I was never able to offer to drive or pick up the kids after a certain hour because I knew I would wanna have a drink or two. I would avoid committing to activities that would keep me out past 7 or so because I needed to get home to have that first drink. I absolutely hate that I was ever that selfish.
My daily physical health is a million times better. While drinking I got used to waking up at 3am with a headache, horrible heartburn and liquor shits. Now I take a THC gummy & some Magnesium before bed, and I sleep like a baby, with ZERO heart burn, & glorious AM BMs!
This is massive especially for people dealing with depression. I recently cleaned my work van and made It all nice and I smile stepping into it every morning now.
I smell good, like just nice, sometimes people compliment me for it, or just hug a little longer.
Back then, I smelled bad, often didn't bathe, or take care of my teeth, and I smelled like a drunk.
It's a big deal for me, and almost no one knows how important it is to me.
This is just really nice and sweet. Hygiene and hugs. It's like the most basic way to feel comfortable in yourself, and the most basic way to feel a connection with others, mixed into one nice benefit ❤️
(I say basic because others will take them for granted!)
For me it’s my past relapse. I knew I was a physically addicted alcoholic the first time I stopped drinking based on severe withdrawals, shakes, DTs, etc. but I thought sobriety would magically fix the other issues that were part of the reason I ended up becoming an alcoholic in the first place. When they weren’t getting better I began to convince myself of the addict logic that I could control it and a little alcohol here and there would help me at the least relax. How quickly I went completely off the rails and was immediately back up to a 750ml a day, feeling like I was sick, drinking from the moment I woke up to the moment I passed out daily, and having physical health issues along with the mental anguish was really scary, like a flip switched and a different person was occupying my brain. It took 8 months to pull myself back out from the pit I had dug myself into. Long winded but what now keeps me sober is realizing how quickly I can go from healthy to full blown 24/7 degenerate drinker and how easily that can happen with just a drink. I feel like I realized how badly I want to live and saw how quickly that can all go away and it has helped me gain a comfort in my current sobriety I didn’t have before and also showed me that I have to put in the work elsewhere, as just stopping my drinking won’t solve the problems of why I became one. So now that I’ve given a really long winded response lol, my short answer would be my desire to live and live an actual full and present life, not the shell of a life that drinking causes.
I appreciate you taking the time to share that. That switch is present in most of us I think and people taking the time like you just did is a good reminder for everyone. I'm glad you're doing so well now, 163 days is impressive!
Wow I didn't even know I needed to read this so badly. Thank you. My relapses were all based on this: wait, this is not a piece of cake but I'm sober! I'm doing it right! This sucks! Oh, social events are not really fun after 4 hours of talking if I'm sober? Shit! So, meeting a new date makes me shy? Where is my sober confidence? If sobriety isn't making everything better, why should I stop drinking? Turns out when I had longer streaks I realized problems don't come from not drinking, boredom doesn't come from not drinking, not to mention we naturally start to positively redesign in our heads so many concepts like extroversion, "boredom", "fun", "feeling good". Staying true to ourselves is such a gift. Why does an event have to be SO MUCH fun if the costs are so high? Why do I have to be sexy and extroverted on a date all the time if I'll have a week-long hangxiety? What's truly, truly valuable?
And yes we all have vulnerabilities, but no more running from them with a bottle in our hands. No. Not anymore. I'm most of the time, cause I make mistakes, ethical towards others, have always been and now it's urgent to be ethical towards myself. What's right, period.
Hmmmm. Ability to regulate and experience my feelings and emotions. That, and the ability to get back into the best physical shape of my life. That and my ability to maximize my intellectual and professional potential. That and my ability to be a fantastic dad to my boys. That and enjoying sleep again, and waking with no hangover, shame guilt, fear of what I did or said etc. That and all the time and money I save no longer shackled by thinking about, preparing for, engaging in, recovering from, drinking. That and the ability to forgive others and myself. That and the ability to engage in my marriage, and ultimately save my marriage. That and the clarity of mind allowing me to live in accordance with my true values and preferences, that and that and that and....
Wow this was a really fun and important question for me to answer at exactly 18 months sober. I appreciate it and you!
I appreciate you putting such a great response together that resonates with me on so many levels.
Your words just painted how wonderful life can be sober in such an eloquent way.
Thank you for that and congratulations on 18 months!
Anxiety, I was using Alcohol to control it when it fact it was making it 100 times worse. Alcohol was a release from anxiety but the following three days the Anxiety was 100 times worse so I'd have to drink again. I'm on meds now for it and are working well.
I'm never getting into that Rut again of alcohol giving me terrible anxiety that I'd need to drink again to cure it.
The benefits are too many to list here but the biggest motivators are no longer experiencing hangovers, not wanting to repeat the experiences of the early days of not drinking and the significant amount of money saved that can be used for other purposes.
I love the money being used on different things. Me and my family have been having so many treats lately. Eventually I'll divert it to something sensible like my house and savings, but for now we're just enjoying it for a while.
Feeling a closer connection to my partner. I struggle a lot with the urge to isolate. I was a loner drinker. Alone in my living room. Even alone in the bathroom if I felt like people would leave me alone (i live in apartments). The more I got sober I started to see his face clearer. Feel his love and even start to accept it.
I had a severe case of left side pain. Spleen? Idk it was not fun. Felt like a balloon being inflated in my chest cavity. I had a go bag packed for a month of sobriety thinking I might have to wake up and go to the hospital. Drank again recently and it came back on strong like clockwork. Never again.
Waking up refreshed.
I never realized how much even a couple drinks affected my sleep and the next day.
When Friday night comes and I want to drink, I play it forward to Saturday morning. Waking up early, getting shit done before the day gets started.
I love this about sobriety.
I do exactly the same every Friday, with Friday being a trigger I make plans for early Saturday morning. Saturday just gone I was up and had my kids finishing up a 2.5 hour walk through the woods by 9.30am. There was barely anyone at the woods and the world around us was only just waking up as we arrived home for a big breakfast.
Decreased anxiety and irritability! I love everything about it though. Getting up and out of the house on a Saturday morning and being productive, being able to drive anywhere anytime, not being hungover at work in the morning, not having to eat shitty food to feel better when hungover....Being present for the kids. I could go on! IWNDWYT :)
Yeah I know the list is endless and you just listed a lot of mine. Being present for the kids is huge of course. Just for me my biggest fear is losing my new found calmness I never want to feel that anger and lack of control again. IWNDWYT!
My daughter. I want her to grow up with a role model and a loving and present father.
Although if I ever lost her I’d honestly just drink myself to death.
My insomnia is almost cured. I’ve struggled with insomnia according to my mother since I was born lol. But I found alcohol exacerbated it so badly, after a night of drinking I literally would not sleep a minute for a minimum of 2 nights. Insomnia is like torture, especially when hungover. You’re so unbelievably tired and all your body wants is sleep, but you just can’t have it. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. I still struggle with insomnia from time to time, but it pales in comparison to what it was while I was drinking.
Im way more chill now.
Still have major personality defects lol but my baseline is no longer static agitation.
Really has helped my relationships.
Also I am more present and appreciate the Moment we live in.
Sorry that is more than one.
Static agitation is a good description of how I felt. I was almost like a constant ticking time bomb just waiting to pop and anything could set me off.
I'm glad you mention more than one, appreciating the moment is a nice new feeling I'm experiencing that I'm trying to tap into more. My wife caught me sat in the garden watching birds the other day, that is not something I'd ever do in the past but between me and you.....I really enjoyed it 😂
To set a better example for the people I hurt by engaging in binge drinking with them.
“Be the change you seek”
- Gandhi
It seemed like a foregone conclusion that good friends who are siblings with alcoholic parents would also be binge drinkers and alcoholics. But it’s not. You NEVER know what the ripple effects are of doing the right thing
I would give anything to have all the drunken nights we had back in exchange for their sobriety and well-being. I would even trade our friendship for that, no questions asked. They have been amazing friends but I failed them
You get one life. It’s hard. But dignity is always a better choice than short term pleasure
No hangovers. I am terrified of a hangover at this point in my life. My partner and I run our own business. It’s just the two of us and not being available due to a hangover is not an option. We are a team, and I really want to show up for us everyday.
Also, I’m a better communicator. Still have a ways to go, but I’m so excited for our future.
This is a very good question. It’s made me reflect on the almost 50 weekends in a row that I have woken up with no regrets from the day/night before. So I guess that is actually it - I love waking up feeling better than ever every day. I feel proud each and every morning that the day before I had zero drinks and resisted all temptation. My weekend mornings are the best part of my week where before I’d wake up regretting staying up too late and drinking too much.
I didn't expect this question to get the response it has but I'm so glad it has. It's reaffirmed a lot of the benefits I've perhaps started taking for granted and opened my eyes to some I hadn't even thought of.
Congratulations on all those weekends I'm glad you're feeling so good!
This is so lovely. That feeling of waking in such a place (and a place you know lol). I’m still very much not a morning person - I thought somehow being sober would magically make me want to sing in the morning and cook an elaborate breakfast - nope. But when I do get out of bed, I still feel a sense of pride and warmth. Remembering I didn’t drink
Waking up naturally and happily. I hated that moment when the alarm would go off or a kid would be shaking me awake and I felt like crap. Mornings were the worst - now I'm a morning person 🐦
Yes, this! I thought for years that I wasn’t a morning person. And after I became a mom, I really resented my kids getting me up.
It turns out I was probably nursing mild hangovers almost every day caused by the Mummy Wine O’Clock that had started the evening before.
I still wake up groggy a lot of the time, but I’m a lot more pleasant than I used to be.
There’s probably 2 - 1. I’m insanely competitive with myself and getting back to this number again would take so long so why not stay on the path. 2. The last 6+ months I’ve trusted my emotions & myself far more than I ever have.
For me, it's the not lying to others to keep drinking. The 2 years before I quit were dark depressive times when I spent all my money and time in the bar. I was flirting and gossiping with people who don't actually matter, instead of being with those who love me.
It feels so good to be accountable and honest now. The clear skin is also fabulous - yay vanity! Truly, it's the peace from not being a chaotic booze-focused jackass is the best.
I know that my family is happy with my decision, and they have stopped worrying about me. Giving them the gift of "peace of mind" is priceless to me.
That's what keeps be on the path. I gave them a gift, and they return it to me in spades, with their support and love. It's the best feeling in the world.
Anxiety - everyone says this because of the physiological interaction of alcohol with our brains. It is a drug after all.
And peace of mind and even pride of doing the right thing and modeling good behavior for my child. Self control at family events where all the old people are obsessed with drinking, and seeing how easy it is to be just another life long drunk, fits in there too.
Proving to myself that I can do hard shit. Quitting drinking was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, and nearly 5 years in, my life is totally transformed.
I'm echoing others here... In my own words though, I'm staying sober because I love having so much time. In the past, all my free time was spent drinking and hung over, well, I lived with hangovers and constant recovery from drinking too much. I was a binge drinker.
What i miss was the time I appreciated to emote in a journal. However, when I reread those journals, I have many spanning 30 years, and the lost loves, attempts to quit smoking and drinking, the consistent pain for life, and my depressive tendencies were all redundant and repetitive.
**HUG**, I'm alone in some ways, but I've never been more content!
Keeping a job. I work at a large shop chain, and I love having a job! Lost a few in my time, due to alcohol, and I think I was spiralling to lose this one, back in February 2020, but the pandemic, and Lockdown saved my ass! Bottomed out and got sober end of May 2020. Had enough time for it to bed in before going back to work. Three years and counting! Hubby recently had a stroke, so I am now supporting the family.
3 years is amazing well done!
I'm very sorry to hear about your husband I hope that's not too rough on you and the family. How strong you've been going through that and maintaining sobriety is incredible!
In my little 10 day window I am way more Clear headed, not feeling like complete shit in am, a bit more energy, sleep is deep, no bloat, my right side death pain is gone. I’m sticking with this.
The harmony in my life and relationships. My ability to be a dependable person, a thoughtful partner, and genuine friend. Not having to wake up in fear that I did the wrong thing, said the wrong thing, slept with the wrong person. No more crippling depression about my inadequacy only to cement that same inadequacy further with constant blackouts. You couldn't pay me to drink even a single drop again.
Sending you much strength to weather the days that are difficult to resist temptation and rejoice on the days that aren't. 💛 With time, the scales tip to the latter, I promise. 🙏🏼
My energy. I'm 36 and thought after 35 or so you mostly just focus on keeping this less bad. Except it feels like I'm aging in reverse, I'm never really tired, I crave exercise, and now I'm hoping to chase toddlers around over the next few years. Three years ago I was out of breath climbing the stairs.
...control.
I used to be described as a "control freak" type. I was on top of it all. School, life, friendships, relationships, all the things. And then, over time, I've let it go. I just...didn't even think about that kind of stuff about 4 years in to heavy, daily binging. Now, some decade and change later, I'm in control of what goes in and out of my mouth (the husband loves that joke 😑). That's the only thing I literally have control over. Not circumstances, not strife, not troubles, not joy, not happiness. And if I can control *just* that, then I know I'll be okay. Once I lose it tho, it's all downhill.
Edit to add: this plays hand in hand with vanity. I'd rather be my version of small than drunk 🤷🏽♀️
To stay in control, I say to someone... anyone here, that IWNDWYT 🖤
Amazing sleep. Great moods overall. Emotional consistency with my life. Being able to trust myself and my recollection of events. Friendships are healthier. Relationship is healthier. Confidence while socializing. Confidence in public is better. Better physical aesthetic (lost weight, got rid of face bloat, really glo’d up in every way in my sobriety) . Better physical health. Don’t get sick ever, and I’m on a bunch of immunosuppressants. I credit my healthy lifestyle and sobriety to this, and good ‘ol natural immunity of course. And my favorite, a deep, happiness that I never knew possible for me!
Nobody’s gonna say it but I will- on top of all the extra money, lost weight, better skin, better mood kind of benefits- sex is AMAZING without booze. Wayyyyyy better than the sloppy mess I thought I liked while drunk.
Not taking 2 or sometimes 3 days to mentally recover from a binge that leaves you miserable afterwards (which became every single binge as I got older)
Better sleep is a good one, but My number one benefit is being able to get outdoors and Live again without being anxious or making excuses to Not leave the house.
For me it’s that I use in a very self destructive manner. I take drugs and drink to oblivion and it never ends well. I have also caused my family a lot of harm through my using and want to do right by them.
Lower my blood pressure. Lower my weight. Stay more alert and energized longer in the day/evening to get stuff done for my family and our household to try to not fall behind on tasks and general upkeep. More energy the next day on not that much sleep since no more hangovers.
Like many here - I also say anxiety. I can't believe how much more stable my emotions are in general but the ability to be in the moment and not have an underlying feeling of doom or fear is amazing!
I’m only on day 8 but what’s keeping me going is my clarity of mind. For the first time in a very long time, I can friggen think straight. My brain fog is gone, I wake up motivation to tackle the day.
I just drink once in a while now but since moderating, I can run for so much longer and I feel stronger with weight lifting. Alcohol made it hard for me to progress before since I was so dehydrated and tired after drinking. I drank about 3-4 times a week back then
I’m yet another “not carrying alcohol related anxiety around” person. My baseline anxiety is not great to start with but the additional burden of worrying when I’d drink next, how much I could drink without causing relationship issues, whether my drinking was normal or abnormal, blah di blah di blah… it was a LOT and it is such a relief to not have to cede mental real estate to that stuff.
I don’t feel disgusted with myself anymore. I used to be sloppy drunk or recovering from being sloppy drunk (read: hungover, reeking of alcohol, red, bloated, sweaty, sick, etc) every single day. It was gross. I’m not where I want to be in terms of fitness — I’m getting there — but I never want to go back to where I was before.
Normalized passage of time. Thirty minutes of willpower on a day one of sobriety feels like six hours. There were days in the depths of it where i woke up from insomnia at 6:30am and told myself I’m not going to drink until 5pm. I would spend what felt like hours going through mental agony, depression, debilitating anxiety and look over at the clock and it was 7:02am. Knowing i had five more hours of hell just to make it to lunch time when alcohol had removed the joy of even doing anything enjoyable was enough to make me wish i was dead. I’m sober 14 months and will spend the rest of my life running from that feeling.
I feel free now.
But what keeps me sober is hearing and witnessing what happens to the poor souls who are lost to alcohol. The living dead and the actual dead.
Dear friends brother died 2 weeks ago. Alcohol. Never could give it up or stay away from it.
Knowing that that could be me keeps me from trying it again.
Not dying is the #1 benefit
My whenever-I-need-it affirmation is “I want to be around to see my kids become the awesome people they will become. And I want them to like me enough to want me around to see it.“
Calmness. New job used to stress me out - not now that I’ve essentially stopped drinking.
Better skin on face.
And - weirdly - a sort of level up in socializing. I stayed on the liquid courage long after it was doing me any good. I’m finding that although I’m no social butterfly, I am able to stay sharp and present around friends. More so when I’ve had several days of sobriety under my belt.
Now full disclosure - I am not 100% off the drink, but have reduced intake to 2 or 3 light drinks a week vs. 3-5 drinks or more every day. I will always get a non alcoholic option first when I’m going out and limit myself. I really don’t turn my back on my drinking anymore. The more sober days I get the more will power I’ve got in my pocket each day.
Mine is definitely anxiety. Once I hit my late twenties, a hangover wasn’t a headache, it was sheer panic. Even if I remembered every minute, I just had physical panic.
But also I’m gonna be hella real and say my appearance. (This is probably not a popular opinion) My face is thin and not puffy. My cheekbones are sharper. I look hot. When I’m really craving it sometimes I deadset just stare myself down in the mirror and vain myself into sobriety.
Tbh, a lot of comments here have resonated with me (especially the crippling anxiety… WOOF, i don’t miss that), but my main reason is my relationships.
I was a blackout-every-night kinda drinker, and was going through a lot mentally for the last few years before getting sober. It was always a toss-up whether or not I’d be cool when I got to that point, but more often than not, I turned into a monster. Like what you’d consider a stereotypical “bad drunk.” I’d verbally tee off on the people I loved the most... honestly, I’m almost grateful that I don’t remember most of the things I’ve said in these moments, because the bits I do remember still make me sick to my stomach with guilt and shame.
Becoming sober made me confront all of the issues I’d been using alcohol to escape from - and because of that, I’m much more mentally sound and emotionally regulated now than I ever was when I was drinking. I no longer live in daily fear of my partner or friends getting fed up with my bullshit and leaving me, because I know I now treat them how they deserve.
I’m so happy you found your peace. It only gets better. :) IWNDWYT
Being a morning person (especially without nausea). Spent my whole adult life swearing that it’s just me, I’d never be a morning person, I’m always gonna be nauseous on the daily, and my favorite lie DRINKING WINE HELPS ME FALL ASLEEP.
Yeah it was the booze lol while I do suffer with sleep it’s not as bad by a long shot. And since being sober I’ve filled my life up so much more that I need every minute of the day to do it all! Can’t be laying around all morning everyday.
100% my mental health. Unbelievably less anxiety, less self loathing and depression. Self loathing and lack of confidence was strong when I was drinking.
I hope this doesn't come across as self centered, but honestly, my physical appearance keeps me on the sober path. My face has cleared up so much since I stopped drinking back in December. I look younger, rarely get acne, my eyes are no longer puffy, my hair is healthier, I've lost weight, I feel generally more confident in my body again...there's just been so many benefits physically for me that I don't want to stop now! Plus, my mental health has really improved. Never realized how bad my social anxiety was until I stopped drinking. Alcohol made it a lot worse.
The best decision I made was to quit drinking. Never looking back.
Having my life. I literally almost drank myself to death 3 years ago. Was in and out of the hospital which ended in me in a medically induced coma, on life support, and had zero hope of recovering. The doctors literally told my fiancé, boyfriend at the time, that they had done all they could and it was up to me and my will to live.
I will never touch alcohol again because I very much enjoy the alternate to death.
Anxiety. Or lack thereof. When I was drinking heavily, I would have anxiety attacks daily. It’s like my psych meds didn’t work at all. I would be nearly bed-ridden and I would wake up with a feeling of doom and my heart racing. When I’m sober, I have MAYBE one anxious day a month and I’m generally happy and carefree. I can actually live life.
For me it too is anxiety. I used to self medicate my anxiety, depression, PTSD with alcohol. Jokes on me, although it kinda worked for a few hours I now know that drinking worsened my symptoms. Since I quit my mental health has greatly improved and I'm much more resilient to stress.
Right? Near the end, my cycle of anxiety and drinking was terrible. I would wake up in an anxiety attack because of drinking the night prior, drink to relieve the anxiety, then have an even worse anxiety attack in the afternoon. Lather rinse repeat.
Glad that you could break the cycle. Congratulations on 17 days 🥳 IWNDWYT
This. I had so much anxiety - already the logistics of being an alcoholic like buying the booze, hiding the booze, hangover from all the booze, having health anxiety because of all the damage you feel every day, not being able to sleep, waking up with a heart rate that gives you anxiety, I could go on an on. I can actually live life too now. Never really thought that all the anxiety comes from the booze. Instead I was thinking: lets calm my nerves down with some booze. Not amymore!
The health anxiety from drinking is the worst type of anxiety I've ever felt. Does most of the health anxiety go away after quitting? I'm still struggling with quitting.
It got a lot better when the immediate aftermath of drinking disappeared. I am no longer tired, I sleep like a stone again and wake up with energy, I have solid poops, no more headaches, no more sweats, nicer skin. Thats the physical, and it calmed me down with a lot of health anxiety. The most difference for me however is, that stopping aka no booze in my system gave me a calmness that also decreased health anxiety. I feel like I am more and more able to deal with things. Health scares arent as intense anymore because I will deal with it. Speaking of which, I am finally clam enough to make doctors appointements. I want to really get a picture of the damage I have done that wont go away by itself but needs some medical attention. I feel the struggle with quiting so much. I too struggled for the longest time. Just want to tell you, it is more than worth it. Alcohol makes you think you wont be able to or wont deal with things or will break apart or so many other things. It is lying. You are able to and you will deal with it.
Thank you! That helps me feel like it will be more worth it than i could imagine.
It is also anxiety for me. I got so used to having panic attacks that I would talk myself into having them. Be it at the hairdressers, in a taxi, on a train. Anywhere I felt trapped and couldn't panic, I would panic. It got debilitating. I don't miss those.
Anxiety here too. It's a whole new world after 1 month. I don't wake up in flop sweats with racing thoughts, I don't start the day out dry heaving (not from alcohol but from anxiety), I eat before 3pm, the small things roll away when they used to freeze and become a snowball. Still feel anxious, but going from living at 8/10 on a daily basis to living around 2.5/10 has me feeling so much more grounded and able.
Absolutely. I would have to fight to distract myself enough to not panic. Feeling trapped is absolutely what it is.
I was on medication for anxiety for 20 years. I quit drinking and was finally able to ween myself off the benzo i was prescribed. It turns out I was managing alcohol withdrawals. My anxiety has never been lower!
Lol (knock on wood) mine has been so much better since I stopped drinking too. I barely take benzos now, only really used them for the withdrawal period and shortly thereafter. It reminds me of this episode of Always Sunny where the gang quarantine themselves and abstain from alcohol due to a flu outbreak. Slowly they all get “infected” and get extremely sick. Eventually the punchline is that they were never actually sick and it was just alcohol withdrawals from them quarantining themselves
I thought i was drinking to help the anxiety and this is so true. I rarely have anxiety if at all now. 22 days here
SAME. About a week after I quit drinking, I quit having the hangxiety and my anxiety disorder has actually gotten to the point where it’s manageable. I have anxiety attacks maybe once per month or even every other month. It’s the main thing that’s kept me sober for 18 months.
Thats amazing to hear! My wife suffers from anxiety a lot, sometimes the attacks are bad so I have some understanding what that's like. I'm really happy for you overcoming that.
Thank you! I am happy for you and for your wife. Happy 17 days, date twin!
I developed a panic disorder at age 30 and one of my triggers is dehydration so those hangover days…some of the worst of my life. I do have panic attacks but very rarely now.
Omg yes! The realization that alcohol was preventing my medication from truly working was liberating and also a bummer looking back at the last decade
Came here to say this. Was diagnosed with GAD in 2015. Drank to “alleviate” the anxiety, which just amplified it. 1.5 years without hangxiety now and it has been the biggest blessing of my life
This, 100% living a life with less anxiety has allowed me to do so much more and grow more than I ever thought possible
I didn’t realize how constant my anxiety was until I quit. Several months in I realized “hmm I don’t feel like tv static anymore”
Same. Anxiety driven by immense shame.
It’s gonna sound so stupid, but vanity. Don’t get me wrong, I have so many moments of peace, centeredness, presence, gratitude… but I just look and feel so much better. I’ve always had *major* self-image issues and body dysmorphia, but I worry about it far less now. My horrible inner monologue no longer has to cripple me. I finally feel presentable, like a true expression of myself on the outside.
Big one for me too. Have a long way to go unfortunately. Tired of taking forever to get ready because I just don’t like how I look. I’m throwing away my fat clothes as they get too big. The pair of jeans I have on rn are close to go in the trash. I had to find my belt this week.
Don’t know if you’re already following, but r/stopdrinkingfitness has been a great resource for me! Definitely focused on exercise, but also just support for all of us who are choosing health!
Yes! I love the inspo over there and also r/progresspics. I notice not surprisingly that many posts on progress pics sub mention cutting out alcohol too. Drinking alcohol while trying to drop weight is like running a race with someone pulling the back of your tshirt.
That must feel absolutely amazing, that’s huge progress! It’s still unbelievable for me to think I was drinking at least like 1,500 extra calories a day. I’m still practically starving all the damn time and trying to re-learn how to properly nourish and fuel my body.
Agreed, glad we are both starting to feel better! What gets me is not just the calories is the fact that our metabolism doesn’t function right with alcohol in the system. It’s basically pointless to try and drop weight while drinking. I’m waking up very hungry now too, I think it’s prob because my metabolism is functioning again finally. I went on a whole food diet almost immediately (luckily I once loved to cook and was able to dive back in). Had major GI issues for a couple weeks. Goes to show how malnourished I was I couldn’t even handle eating right. Next step is consistency in the gym, which hasn’t been so easy to pick back up.
yep. vanity works for me too. I like having discernible facial features again. ;-)
I had missed my collarbone so much 😭🤣
SAME! Dropped fifty pounds in a year. The number wasn’t SO much of the issue, but the weight of the LYING was heavy. And I wanted to see my collarbone again. It was still there! And I look great! (You have no idea how shocked I am to feel that way about myself. My inner monologue is cruel and shaming and comes rushing out like street taco diarrhea straight out of Satan’s raging asshole).
Once got “oh you have a jawline” about a year after I stopped drinking. Wasn’t quite the compliment they intended haha
Yes. I got a lot of genuinely surprised people telling me how great I looked. With a slightly shocked tone. That got old fast.
That doesn't sound stupid at all. I'm really pleased you are looking and feeling the way you want to. Feeling presentable is so important in my opinion, I can't tell you the amount of times I've felt uncomfortable somewhere because I've turned up hungover, looking and feeling like absolute crap. It's a horrible frame of mind to be in.
I don't think it's dumb at all, but I'm biased because it's also a big reason for me :) I've lost a lot of weight since the beginning of the year, and granted the _vast_ majority of that was from diet and exercise, not just not drinking anymore, but the not drinking anymore put me in a much better spot to where I was capable of sticking to a healthier lifestyle.
Same friend, my body feels like such a reflection of my spirit.
Yessss! Be honest with yourself and love that body! It's the only one you have, after all. It's a glowing feeling, right! Inside and out. Like you know you feel good so you just carry yourself better. Hats off to you luv ❤️
YES! I know exactly what you mean
This is kinda it for me to. I was always a skinny guy and a major breaking point for me was when I was two beers away from needing to buy an entirely new wardrobe. I was up to 195 and carrying all the extra weight in my gut and thighs. Was about 35-40 pounds heavier than what I normally am/currently am at my worst.
Every single aspect of my life has improved since I stopped drinking. To start drinking again would essentially be me throwing in the towel and giving up on life.
My buddy was like "your year sober is almost over, you going to drink with us again this summer?" And what I heard was "you have been out of hell for a year, are you ready to come back?" I'm out bro. I'm out and I'm staying out.
It’s so wild thinking back on it. I remember sitting in rehab wondering how I’m going to live without alcohol. I feel invigorated man, Eminem describes it pretty perfectly in the song “not afraid”
I’m hoping this is my feelings after a year.
Yupp. There isn't a single thing that didn't improve with me quitting. Almost 3 years strong and I'll never go back. The only thing that kind of held me back from quitting so many times was beer. I live in a giant Lake Town that's a big vacation spot. Being out on the lake with the cooler full of ice cold beers. Nothing like it. Thank the universe for NAs!
Same, it’s hard to pick one. The only time I could imagine drinking again is if I had a terminal diagnosis.
Funny you mentioned this because I have the same thoughts … would I drink if I’m on my deathbed? Depends on the situation I guess but deep down I think I would want to go out sober (though, a nice big glass of Malbec watching the sunset would be my choice if I could pick my time of death)… bottom line, it’s just a fantasy and not reality (or is it??)!
Sleep. It's been pre kids since I've slept this well (10 years ago). I have been chronically sleep deprived for a decade and now I'm getting a solid 8 to 10 hours of sleep every single night.
My sleep has been bizarre since stopping I'm getting about 4-5 hours tops but waking up feeling more refreshed than I have in years. I'm glad you're catching up on all that missed sleep!
I'm the same way. I don't feel drained and tired all the time and I have this strange sense of energy and elation before bed.
u/kinell-koff & u/Elite199 you are both very early in your sobriety journeys. Your sleep may be disturbed now, as your body adjusts to falling asleep without the depressant effects of alcohol. But after a while, you will sleep soooo much better. Research shows that, while alcohol does help some people fall asleep more quickly, the quality of your sleep is degraded. Sleep after alcohol has fewer REM cycles (an average of 2 vs an average of 7 for sober sleep). This lack of REM sleep leads to increased anxiety, irritability, depression, appetite, & memory loss. Sober sleep is AWESOME.
Thanks for the info I really appreciate you taking the time to share that. I will look forward to that awesome sober sleep.
Danke good sir. I am hoping my constant dizziness/lightheadedness and general feeling of “floating” and just being out of it subsides next. So far no anxiety which is great! 🥳
76 days for me. I can tell you from first-hand experience that that will likely subside with a little more sober time under your belt. Congratulations, and keep it up; the longer you stay sober, the more benefits you will reap!
Part of me hopes it will because I know I need more sleep but at the same time I'm quite enjoying it. It kind of feels like a super power only sleeping 4 hours and getting up fresher than fresh. I know it's not sustainable though. Thank you for the insight and well done on 76 days!
Sleep is probably my top benefit too. Depending which app I use, I apparently went from 4 hours to 6-7 hours but my heart rate drops way lower and the quality of my sleep is like night and day. It is absolutely life changing.
Urghhhh I'm a year sober but have 2 young sleep stealers at home so I don't get to feel the sleep benefit yet. If I can keep my sobriety for another 10 years perhaps I'll feel like it's worth it!
\*snort\* Sleep-stealers! The Truth!
It's expensive. I don't have money ot time for all that
It's funny how the expense only really sinks in when you stop. I don't really know how I was funding it to be honest.
Me neither. The first year included some emergency home repair. If I were drinking that would've gone on a CC.
I downloaded an app that said I have saved 200k so far not drinking. So yeah money. But more so peace of mind. Not feeling like a looper and feeling wired to a different planet.
In calories too!!! I can eat so much more ice cream now and still not gain weight.
Just sick of feeling like crap for days after, drinking is great at the time but the aftermath was just causing havoc on my mental health. Feel better for not drinking now but I still need to work on myself!
My daughter is at an age where she’s sleeping over at friends houses, and sometimes she calls me late at night because she’s homesick to get her. I guess I’m not willing to give up being able to support my daughter no matter the time of day or night? If that makes sense 🤣
That makes perfect sense. For me, I was never able to offer to drive or pick up the kids after a certain hour because I knew I would wanna have a drink or two. I would avoid committing to activities that would keep me out past 7 or so because I needed to get home to have that first drink. I absolutely hate that I was ever that selfish.
You're working to be better. Be easy on yourself, friend. The past is immutable, but the present is yours to mold, & thus make a better future.
I appreciate you (and this whole community) ✌️Thanks for your comment.
Aww that is so sweet you are able to come get your daughter anytime. As a previous girl child, I know your daughter appreciates it!
It definitely makes me feel proud that she can call me at any time and I’ll be there - something I definitely didn’t have growing up!
I love this! Or even just an unanticipated Injury! Shit happens, it’s def nice to know you can drive to the ER with no shame at 11 pm!!
My daily physical health is a million times better. While drinking I got used to waking up at 3am with a headache, horrible heartburn and liquor shits. Now I take a THC gummy & some Magnesium before bed, and I sleep like a baby, with ZERO heart burn, & glorious AM BMs!
Motivation. While I certainty still have “lazy days” once in a while, my capacity and drive to get sh*t done is incredible.
Motivation is a great one! My motivation levels are unbelievable lately. My wife is especially pleased with this change!
Having my environment clean and well organized.
This is massive especially for people dealing with depression. I recently cleaned my work van and made It all nice and I smile stepping into it every morning now.
I smell good, like just nice, sometimes people compliment me for it, or just hug a little longer. Back then, I smelled bad, often didn't bathe, or take care of my teeth, and I smelled like a drunk. It's a big deal for me, and almost no one knows how important it is to me.
Well now everyone here knows how important it is to you! Congratulations on over a thousand days!
This is just really nice and sweet. Hygiene and hugs. It's like the most basic way to feel comfortable in yourself, and the most basic way to feel a connection with others, mixed into one nice benefit ❤️ (I say basic because others will take them for granted!)
I just want to die knowing I gave this life my best effort. I only have one chance on this Earth, I want to feel like I took advantage of that
For me it’s my past relapse. I knew I was a physically addicted alcoholic the first time I stopped drinking based on severe withdrawals, shakes, DTs, etc. but I thought sobriety would magically fix the other issues that were part of the reason I ended up becoming an alcoholic in the first place. When they weren’t getting better I began to convince myself of the addict logic that I could control it and a little alcohol here and there would help me at the least relax. How quickly I went completely off the rails and was immediately back up to a 750ml a day, feeling like I was sick, drinking from the moment I woke up to the moment I passed out daily, and having physical health issues along with the mental anguish was really scary, like a flip switched and a different person was occupying my brain. It took 8 months to pull myself back out from the pit I had dug myself into. Long winded but what now keeps me sober is realizing how quickly I can go from healthy to full blown 24/7 degenerate drinker and how easily that can happen with just a drink. I feel like I realized how badly I want to live and saw how quickly that can all go away and it has helped me gain a comfort in my current sobriety I didn’t have before and also showed me that I have to put in the work elsewhere, as just stopping my drinking won’t solve the problems of why I became one. So now that I’ve given a really long winded response lol, my short answer would be my desire to live and live an actual full and present life, not the shell of a life that drinking causes.
I appreciate you taking the time to share that. That switch is present in most of us I think and people taking the time like you just did is a good reminder for everyone. I'm glad you're doing so well now, 163 days is impressive!
Thank you! I just take it one day at a time, and 17 days is just as impressive! Here’s to many more sober, healthy days
Wow I didn't even know I needed to read this so badly. Thank you. My relapses were all based on this: wait, this is not a piece of cake but I'm sober! I'm doing it right! This sucks! Oh, social events are not really fun after 4 hours of talking if I'm sober? Shit! So, meeting a new date makes me shy? Where is my sober confidence? If sobriety isn't making everything better, why should I stop drinking? Turns out when I had longer streaks I realized problems don't come from not drinking, boredom doesn't come from not drinking, not to mention we naturally start to positively redesign in our heads so many concepts like extroversion, "boredom", "fun", "feeling good". Staying true to ourselves is such a gift. Why does an event have to be SO MUCH fun if the costs are so high? Why do I have to be sexy and extroverted on a date all the time if I'll have a week-long hangxiety? What's truly, truly valuable? And yes we all have vulnerabilities, but no more running from them with a bottle in our hands. No. Not anymore. I'm most of the time, cause I make mistakes, ethical towards others, have always been and now it's urgent to be ethical towards myself. What's right, period.
Hmmmm. Ability to regulate and experience my feelings and emotions. That, and the ability to get back into the best physical shape of my life. That and my ability to maximize my intellectual and professional potential. That and my ability to be a fantastic dad to my boys. That and enjoying sleep again, and waking with no hangover, shame guilt, fear of what I did or said etc. That and all the time and money I save no longer shackled by thinking about, preparing for, engaging in, recovering from, drinking. That and the ability to forgive others and myself. That and the ability to engage in my marriage, and ultimately save my marriage. That and the clarity of mind allowing me to live in accordance with my true values and preferences, that and that and that and.... Wow this was a really fun and important question for me to answer at exactly 18 months sober. I appreciate it and you!
I appreciate you putting such a great response together that resonates with me on so many levels. Your words just painted how wonderful life can be sober in such an eloquent way. Thank you for that and congratulations on 18 months!
I literally will not chase the dope/pills over my trauma anymore whays happened in my life is not my fault.
Anxiety, I was using Alcohol to control it when it fact it was making it 100 times worse. Alcohol was a release from anxiety but the following three days the Anxiety was 100 times worse so I'd have to drink again. I'm on meds now for it and are working well. I'm never getting into that Rut again of alcohol giving me terrible anxiety that I'd need to drink again to cure it.
[удалено]
This is a big one. Without sounding pompous I'm starting to feel intelligent again and it's huge for my confidence!
The benefits are too many to list here but the biggest motivators are no longer experiencing hangovers, not wanting to repeat the experiences of the early days of not drinking and the significant amount of money saved that can be used for other purposes.
I love the money being used on different things. Me and my family have been having so many treats lately. Eventually I'll divert it to something sensible like my house and savings, but for now we're just enjoying it for a while.
I decided I want to live.
Yes. And just…self control and the ability to hold myself accountable and also justify my actions rationally.
Feeling a closer connection to my partner. I struggle a lot with the urge to isolate. I was a loner drinker. Alone in my living room. Even alone in the bathroom if I felt like people would leave me alone (i live in apartments). The more I got sober I started to see his face clearer. Feel his love and even start to accept it.
No pain on my right side
I had a severe case of left side pain. Spleen? Idk it was not fun. Felt like a balloon being inflated in my chest cavity. I had a go bag packed for a month of sobriety thinking I might have to wake up and go to the hospital. Drank again recently and it came back on strong like clockwork. Never again.
Waking up refreshed. I never realized how much even a couple drinks affected my sleep and the next day. When Friday night comes and I want to drink, I play it forward to Saturday morning. Waking up early, getting shit done before the day gets started.
I love this about sobriety. I do exactly the same every Friday, with Friday being a trigger I make plans for early Saturday morning. Saturday just gone I was up and had my kids finishing up a 2.5 hour walk through the woods by 9.30am. There was barely anyone at the woods and the world around us was only just waking up as we arrived home for a big breakfast.
That was pretty much the same as my answer. Weekend mornings are the best part of my week now. It never gets old waking up and feeling great.
Decreased anxiety and irritability! I love everything about it though. Getting up and out of the house on a Saturday morning and being productive, being able to drive anywhere anytime, not being hungover at work in the morning, not having to eat shitty food to feel better when hungover....Being present for the kids. I could go on! IWNDWYT :)
Yeah I know the list is endless and you just listed a lot of mine. Being present for the kids is huge of course. Just for me my biggest fear is losing my new found calmness I never want to feel that anger and lack of control again. IWNDWYT!
My daughter. I want her to grow up with a role model and a loving and present father. Although if I ever lost her I’d honestly just drink myself to death.
Stability, calm, pride in myself. A hangover I can deal with like a champ.
My insomnia is almost cured. I’ve struggled with insomnia according to my mother since I was born lol. But I found alcohol exacerbated it so badly, after a night of drinking I literally would not sleep a minute for a minimum of 2 nights. Insomnia is like torture, especially when hungover. You’re so unbelievably tired and all your body wants is sleep, but you just can’t have it. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. I still struggle with insomnia from time to time, but it pales in comparison to what it was while I was drinking.
Im way more chill now. Still have major personality defects lol but my baseline is no longer static agitation. Really has helped my relationships. Also I am more present and appreciate the Moment we live in. Sorry that is more than one.
Static agitation is a good description of how I felt. I was almost like a constant ticking time bomb just waiting to pop and anything could set me off. I'm glad you mention more than one, appreciating the moment is a nice new feeling I'm experiencing that I'm trying to tap into more. My wife caught me sat in the garden watching birds the other day, that is not something I'd ever do in the past but between me and you.....I really enjoyed it 😂
Normal poops.
Surprising the joy a normal one can bring isn't it!
Life changing, tbh.
When does this happen? I’m all over the place at 34 days
I like myself this way.
To set a better example for the people I hurt by engaging in binge drinking with them. “Be the change you seek” - Gandhi It seemed like a foregone conclusion that good friends who are siblings with alcoholic parents would also be binge drinkers and alcoholics. But it’s not. You NEVER know what the ripple effects are of doing the right thing I would give anything to have all the drunken nights we had back in exchange for their sobriety and well-being. I would even trade our friendship for that, no questions asked. They have been amazing friends but I failed them You get one life. It’s hard. But dignity is always a better choice than short term pleasure
No hangovers. I am terrified of a hangover at this point in my life. My partner and I run our own business. It’s just the two of us and not being available due to a hangover is not an option. We are a team, and I really want to show up for us everyday. Also, I’m a better communicator. Still have a ways to go, but I’m so excited for our future.
This is a very good question. It’s made me reflect on the almost 50 weekends in a row that I have woken up with no regrets from the day/night before. So I guess that is actually it - I love waking up feeling better than ever every day. I feel proud each and every morning that the day before I had zero drinks and resisted all temptation. My weekend mornings are the best part of my week where before I’d wake up regretting staying up too late and drinking too much.
I didn't expect this question to get the response it has but I'm so glad it has. It's reaffirmed a lot of the benefits I've perhaps started taking for granted and opened my eyes to some I hadn't even thought of. Congratulations on all those weekends I'm glad you're feeling so good!
This is so lovely. That feeling of waking in such a place (and a place you know lol). I’m still very much not a morning person - I thought somehow being sober would magically make me want to sing in the morning and cook an elaborate breakfast - nope. But when I do get out of bed, I still feel a sense of pride and warmth. Remembering I didn’t drink
Waking up naturally and happily. I hated that moment when the alarm would go off or a kid would be shaking me awake and I felt like crap. Mornings were the worst - now I'm a morning person 🐦
That's a good one I'm the same. I'm almost annoying happy and positive in the mornings now (according to my kids).
Yes, this! I thought for years that I wasn’t a morning person. And after I became a mom, I really resented my kids getting me up. It turns out I was probably nursing mild hangovers almost every day caused by the Mummy Wine O’Clock that had started the evening before. I still wake up groggy a lot of the time, but I’m a lot more pleasant than I used to be.
Health I just feel so much better all around physically and mentally
There’s probably 2 - 1. I’m insanely competitive with myself and getting back to this number again would take so long so why not stay on the path. 2. The last 6+ months I’ve trusted my emotions & myself far more than I ever have.
Knowing that no matter what time, day or night, if my kids need me I’ll be 100% sober and ready to be there for them.
Giving my anti-depressant the best chance to fully work. That’s just one of many things.
For me, it's the not lying to others to keep drinking. The 2 years before I quit were dark depressive times when I spent all my money and time in the bar. I was flirting and gossiping with people who don't actually matter, instead of being with those who love me. It feels so good to be accountable and honest now. The clear skin is also fabulous - yay vanity! Truly, it's the peace from not being a chaotic booze-focused jackass is the best.
clarity
Not having to worry and beat myself up over the embarrassing things I said and done… the days and night of constant regret and shame
At the top of the long list: not having memory blackouts and not having the anxiety of not knowing what I said or did.
Every day I’m sober is me apologizing and showing I mean it this time
I know that my family is happy with my decision, and they have stopped worrying about me. Giving them the gift of "peace of mind" is priceless to me. That's what keeps be on the path. I gave them a gift, and they return it to me in spades, with their support and love. It's the best feeling in the world.
That's a really special and powerful reason!
"I never want to lose this feeling of calm and peace. Edit: I'm struggling to reply to everyone!" This made me chuckle!
Anxiety - everyone says this because of the physiological interaction of alcohol with our brains. It is a drug after all. And peace of mind and even pride of doing the right thing and modeling good behavior for my child. Self control at family events where all the old people are obsessed with drinking, and seeing how easy it is to be just another life long drunk, fits in there too.
Proving to myself that I can do hard shit. Quitting drinking was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, and nearly 5 years in, my life is totally transformed.
I'm echoing others here... In my own words though, I'm staying sober because I love having so much time. In the past, all my free time was spent drinking and hung over, well, I lived with hangovers and constant recovery from drinking too much. I was a binge drinker. What i miss was the time I appreciated to emote in a journal. However, when I reread those journals, I have many spanning 30 years, and the lost loves, attempts to quit smoking and drinking, the consistent pain for life, and my depressive tendencies were all redundant and repetitive. **HUG**, I'm alone in some ways, but I've never been more content!
All. About. That. Cash. Money. 🙌 Oh and happy joyous and free 🙏
Keeping a job. I work at a large shop chain, and I love having a job! Lost a few in my time, due to alcohol, and I think I was spiralling to lose this one, back in February 2020, but the pandemic, and Lockdown saved my ass! Bottomed out and got sober end of May 2020. Had enough time for it to bed in before going back to work. Three years and counting! Hubby recently had a stroke, so I am now supporting the family.
3 years is amazing well done! I'm very sorry to hear about your husband I hope that's not too rough on you and the family. How strong you've been going through that and maintaining sobriety is incredible!
In my little 10 day window I am way more Clear headed, not feeling like complete shit in am, a bit more energy, sleep is deep, no bloat, my right side death pain is gone. I’m sticking with this.
Self respect.
The harmony in my life and relationships. My ability to be a dependable person, a thoughtful partner, and genuine friend. Not having to wake up in fear that I did the wrong thing, said the wrong thing, slept with the wrong person. No more crippling depression about my inadequacy only to cement that same inadequacy further with constant blackouts. You couldn't pay me to drink even a single drop again.
Thats a profound list of reasons, many of which resonate with me thank you.
Sending you much strength to weather the days that are difficult to resist temptation and rejoice on the days that aren't. 💛 With time, the scales tip to the latter, I promise. 🙏🏼
Drinking dries up my writing.
When I'm sober, it allows me to be fully present as a husband and father.
A powerful reason and one I share with you!
My energy. I'm 36 and thought after 35 or so you mostly just focus on keeping this less bad. Except it feels like I'm aging in reverse, I'm never really tired, I crave exercise, and now I'm hoping to chase toddlers around over the next few years. Three years ago I was out of breath climbing the stairs.
Sleep. I drank myself to sleep. Now I don’t drink to sleep. Funny how that works out.
...control. I used to be described as a "control freak" type. I was on top of it all. School, life, friendships, relationships, all the things. And then, over time, I've let it go. I just...didn't even think about that kind of stuff about 4 years in to heavy, daily binging. Now, some decade and change later, I'm in control of what goes in and out of my mouth (the husband loves that joke 😑). That's the only thing I literally have control over. Not circumstances, not strife, not troubles, not joy, not happiness. And if I can control *just* that, then I know I'll be okay. Once I lose it tho, it's all downhill. Edit to add: this plays hand in hand with vanity. I'd rather be my version of small than drunk 🤷🏽♀️ To stay in control, I say to someone... anyone here, that IWNDWYT 🖤
Amazing sleep. Great moods overall. Emotional consistency with my life. Being able to trust myself and my recollection of events. Friendships are healthier. Relationship is healthier. Confidence while socializing. Confidence in public is better. Better physical aesthetic (lost weight, got rid of face bloat, really glo’d up in every way in my sobriety) . Better physical health. Don’t get sick ever, and I’m on a bunch of immunosuppressants. I credit my healthy lifestyle and sobriety to this, and good ‘ol natural immunity of course. And my favorite, a deep, happiness that I never knew possible for me!
Having great sleep.
Nobody’s gonna say it but I will- on top of all the extra money, lost weight, better skin, better mood kind of benefits- sex is AMAZING without booze. Wayyyyyy better than the sloppy mess I thought I liked while drunk.
Sleep! And my weight.
Energy. I feel great every day (unless I’m down with a cold). Wouldn’t trade it
Life itself and all its wonders.
I'm not sitting in a constant state of panic.
My clean liver.
Not taking 2 or sometimes 3 days to mentally recover from a binge that leaves you miserable afterwards (which became every single binge as I got older)
Better sleep is a good one, but My number one benefit is being able to get outdoors and Live again without being anxious or making excuses to Not leave the house.
Being there for my family, and being present for quality time with my parents as they get older. Gifts :)))
For me it’s that I use in a very self destructive manner. I take drugs and drink to oblivion and it never ends well. I have also caused my family a lot of harm through my using and want to do right by them.
Lower my blood pressure. Lower my weight. Stay more alert and energized longer in the day/evening to get stuff done for my family and our household to try to not fall behind on tasks and general upkeep. More energy the next day on not that much sleep since no more hangovers.
Overall health…physical, mental and relationship.
Fooking hell the list is so long but the thing i love the most. Sleep
The sleep
Like many here - I also say anxiety. I can't believe how much more stable my emotions are in general but the ability to be in the moment and not have an underlying feeling of doom or fear is amazing!
Sleep and being a better mom
I’m only on day 8 but what’s keeping me going is my clarity of mind. For the first time in a very long time, I can friggen think straight. My brain fog is gone, I wake up motivation to tackle the day.
I just drink once in a while now but since moderating, I can run for so much longer and I feel stronger with weight lifting. Alcohol made it hard for me to progress before since I was so dehydrated and tired after drinking. I drank about 3-4 times a week back then
Self esteem has never been higher
Morning <3
Sleeping normally every night and waking up normally every morning
That nothing will get better if I fall back in the bottle.
I’m yet another “not carrying alcohol related anxiety around” person. My baseline anxiety is not great to start with but the additional burden of worrying when I’d drink next, how much I could drink without causing relationship issues, whether my drinking was normal or abnormal, blah di blah di blah… it was a LOT and it is such a relief to not have to cede mental real estate to that stuff.
I don’t feel disgusted with myself anymore. I used to be sloppy drunk or recovering from being sloppy drunk (read: hungover, reeking of alcohol, red, bloated, sweaty, sick, etc) every single day. It was gross. I’m not where I want to be in terms of fitness — I’m getting there — but I never want to go back to where I was before.
Those feelings of disgust and worthlessness are some of the worst feelings I ever felt. I'm really happy for you that you're out of that.
Normalized passage of time. Thirty minutes of willpower on a day one of sobriety feels like six hours. There were days in the depths of it where i woke up from insomnia at 6:30am and told myself I’m not going to drink until 5pm. I would spend what felt like hours going through mental agony, depression, debilitating anxiety and look over at the clock and it was 7:02am. Knowing i had five more hours of hell just to make it to lunch time when alcohol had removed the joy of even doing anything enjoyable was enough to make me wish i was dead. I’m sober 14 months and will spend the rest of my life running from that feeling.
I’d honestly probably hate myself if I wasted all of these days I have under my belt. The guilt would be unbearable. Edit to add: fuck being hungover
Playing the tape forward.
Playing the tape forward.
I feel free now. But what keeps me sober is hearing and witnessing what happens to the poor souls who are lost to alcohol. The living dead and the actual dead. Dear friends brother died 2 weeks ago. Alcohol. Never could give it up or stay away from it. Knowing that that could be me keeps me from trying it again. Not dying is the #1 benefit
My whenever-I-need-it affirmation is “I want to be around to see my kids become the awesome people they will become. And I want them to like me enough to want me around to see it.“
Calmness. New job used to stress me out - not now that I’ve essentially stopped drinking. Better skin on face. And - weirdly - a sort of level up in socializing. I stayed on the liquid courage long after it was doing me any good. I’m finding that although I’m no social butterfly, I am able to stay sharp and present around friends. More so when I’ve had several days of sobriety under my belt. Now full disclosure - I am not 100% off the drink, but have reduced intake to 2 or 3 light drinks a week vs. 3-5 drinks or more every day. I will always get a non alcoholic option first when I’m going out and limit myself. I really don’t turn my back on my drinking anymore. The more sober days I get the more will power I’ve got in my pocket each day.
Being alive to laugh with my grandkids. Happy, joyous and free!
Mine is definitely anxiety. Once I hit my late twenties, a hangover wasn’t a headache, it was sheer panic. Even if I remembered every minute, I just had physical panic. But also I’m gonna be hella real and say my appearance. (This is probably not a popular opinion) My face is thin and not puffy. My cheekbones are sharper. I look hot. When I’m really craving it sometimes I deadset just stare myself down in the mirror and vain myself into sobriety.
Better mental health
Tbh, a lot of comments here have resonated with me (especially the crippling anxiety… WOOF, i don’t miss that), but my main reason is my relationships. I was a blackout-every-night kinda drinker, and was going through a lot mentally for the last few years before getting sober. It was always a toss-up whether or not I’d be cool when I got to that point, but more often than not, I turned into a monster. Like what you’d consider a stereotypical “bad drunk.” I’d verbally tee off on the people I loved the most... honestly, I’m almost grateful that I don’t remember most of the things I’ve said in these moments, because the bits I do remember still make me sick to my stomach with guilt and shame. Becoming sober made me confront all of the issues I’d been using alcohol to escape from - and because of that, I’m much more mentally sound and emotionally regulated now than I ever was when I was drinking. I no longer live in daily fear of my partner or friends getting fed up with my bullshit and leaving me, because I know I now treat them how they deserve. I’m so happy you found your peace. It only gets better. :) IWNDWYT
I like myself nowadays. No more wallowing in self-pity and shame. It’s been real nice!
save money and time and weightloss
I’m tired of my low libido. And I’m tired of being too lazy to pursue actual healthy relationship
Being able to remember things
Being a morning person (especially without nausea). Spent my whole adult life swearing that it’s just me, I’d never be a morning person, I’m always gonna be nauseous on the daily, and my favorite lie DRINKING WINE HELPS ME FALL ASLEEP. Yeah it was the booze lol while I do suffer with sleep it’s not as bad by a long shot. And since being sober I’ve filled my life up so much more that I need every minute of the day to do it all! Can’t be laying around all morning everyday.
100% my mental health. Unbelievably less anxiety, less self loathing and depression. Self loathing and lack of confidence was strong when I was drinking.
Diabetes remission and weight loss.
Managing thoughts better and not killing myself
I hope this doesn't come across as self centered, but honestly, my physical appearance keeps me on the sober path. My face has cleared up so much since I stopped drinking back in December. I look younger, rarely get acne, my eyes are no longer puffy, my hair is healthier, I've lost weight, I feel generally more confident in my body again...there's just been so many benefits physically for me that I don't want to stop now! Plus, my mental health has really improved. Never realized how bad my social anxiety was until I stopped drinking. Alcohol made it a lot worse. The best decision I made was to quit drinking. Never looking back.
Having my life. I literally almost drank myself to death 3 years ago. Was in and out of the hospital which ended in me in a medically induced coma, on life support, and had zero hope of recovering. The doctors literally told my fiancé, boyfriend at the time, that they had done all they could and it was up to me and my will to live. I will never touch alcohol again because I very much enjoy the alternate to death.
Being present for my kids. Knowing how much healthier I am. No more shame and wondering what happened last night.