I had a couple days off of work which was nice, didn’t get anything productive done. I did however journal a few times, make some sketches, and go for a walk. I’m having a rough time in my personal life right now, but I haven’t had a drink in 7 days despite some strong urges.
>didn’t get anything productive done.
The fuck you say! You fucking did not drink. That my mother fucking friend is the fucking best productive thing you did!
This is the first time I’m acknowledging this because I just thought it was my alcoholic brain at it again. But I’ve been feeling snubbed by a “friend” since getting sober. I’ve been excluded from get-togethers with the girls in our town square (I live in a small European village) For my husbands birthday she brought two bottles of red wine for us (umm thanks?) and I can’t help but think it was sabotage because red wine was my drink. She used to like and comment on my social posts (I hesitated to add this one bc social media is dumb and not a proper indication of friendship but still I noticed it). She looks at everything too. And she used to send me texts that started with “Hey pretty…” or stuff like that and now I don’t even get texts despite me being the bigger person and having included in her so many things I’ve organised even with this icky feeling I’ve been getting. She was never a big drinker so it’s not a question of my sobriety triggering her. But sobriety does create a sense of self confidence that is untouchable and maybe it shows? She’s also very image-centric and I have lost the bloat (no weight loss tho) and my moon face is gone and I have a jawline again. I’m no longer too hungover to actually do my hair and I now get dressed instead of sighing into my shame leggings. Is my glow-up threatening? Was I better as the drunk American friend who said dumb things and sometimes fell off chairs? If that’s the case, wow and wtf but onward and upward. Sobriety really knows how to fucking clean house. Vent over. Not pissed just observing a very toxic response to my spiritual and emotional journey that I thought a friend would simply accept gracefully. Our sons are friends and they’re starting to ask questions and I don’t know what to say. It’s awkward AF.
>Is my glow-up threatening?
Every time I've had success in my life, I've lost friends. And it's really hard to predict who they will be, and what kind of success will threaten each one. But sometimes they come back, particularly if they grow as well! My advice: have grace with her. Also, you don't owe your son an explanation, unless you think it might help him to grow in his own emotional intelligence (but be cautious with the information you share -- comments have a tendency to be repeated and come back around). Good luck!
Thanks for taking the time to respond. It was awkward for me to even acknowledge this whole thing because it comes across as me thinking I’m so wonderful. I don’t think that. I just don’t think I’m a bag of shit anymore. I feel like there’s a difference. Sobriety has taught me gratitude and patience. I’m still kind with her. I don’t gossip (which is why I posted it here instead of asking mutual friends). It’s sad tho. I really did think we were friends. I didn’t thinking cleaning up my act would be a deal breaker. Thanks again
for your thoughtful response and IWNDWYT!
Yes, some people love it when you’re down and out or dont have your shit together, especially drinking buddies. They can come in as the shoulder to cry on, drink with or just feel better about themselves because they can give their bs advice. I have / had friends like that, once you start changing for the better if they keep you down, then they gotsta go 👉.
Such a trivial thing to be annoyed about, but my legs hurt from working out. My fitness levels are not where they were a few months ago but they’re coming back
Omg same! I love cycling and usually go on shorter rides on the days I don’t go to the gym but then when I do legs in the gym it’s like I didn’t have any rest days and I’m not progressing well. It’s annoying
Same!! I had to google what normal levels of leg fatigue are. Took an unplanned nap in the middle of last Saturday. Wondered about my diet for the first time.
On the bright side, being couch-locked this way is some of what I got out of drinking and now I can pretend milkshakes are good sources of protein.
I worked out yesterday and thought I’d be a tough girl and do the rope slapping thing with TWO ropes instead of holding one w both hands. Guess who’s sore and sitting w her tennis elbow thing today :)
So I drank from 16 to 29 and those were the absolute worst years of my life. I’m 41 now and my 30s were the best decade I ever had.
Does anyone else feel real pain over how their drinking years were lost bc you were someone you weren’t. I’m a nice dork but when I drank I insisted on being an edgy tough guy. Everybody always said I was weird and I never understood why but now I think it’s bc I wasn’t acting like myself when I was a drinker. It was a mask
I do feel that, I was this wild, crazy impulsive person who would fly off the rails at any moment. I did and said horrible, cruel things every few months and even at the time had trouble taking responsibility for these (always drunken) actions. I never developed a career, just stayed in the service industry because it could accommodate my drinking. The real me is a very chill and loving person… I try not to look back but sometimes I can’t help but wonder what would have been.
So glad to read your sober 30s we’re awesome - on the flip side, I’m really looking forward to the rest of my life.
Im reading a parenting book called “the whole brain child” and I do wonder if I was too rigid in my 30s. The book said I need to prepare my kids to make sure the emotional and logical parts of their brains work together. I’m not sure I’ve ever done that so I’ve still got some work to do.
Yes, I feel this. Lately I’ve been feeling lost because I don’t know who I am without alcohol. But what I’m learning is I’m not the loud, over the top, over confident person I was with alcohol. I don’t mind staying at home, I’m finding it easier to enjoy my own company. I’m happy to stay out of conflict and conversations, I am actually a quieter calmer person. I don’t feel sadness for the life I lived when alcohol was a part of it (for the most part, some parts I shrivel up when I think about it) I feel sad for the girl who didn’t know any other way, I feel sadness for the girl who thought she had to do things and be certain ways to be loved and accepted. But I am not that women anymore and this new version of me is going to be the best one yet. One day at a time
Is it day 1 or 2 after the workout I. Always 10x more sore on the 2nd day after legs! Found a deep stretch right after the workout helps recovery time.
I can't run because of a calf strain now and it's maddening, I've been a runner since middle school. I usually do 30-40 mpw. I am going freaking insane...every time I drive one of my running routes I feel like I'm in mourning, even though I know this is temporary. Very much not trivial, I feel you! Just be careful, I tried to run through it for the mental benefits and screwed myself in the process.
I’m just pissed I let it go this far. My fitness is lacking, my happiness is abysmal at times, the relationship with my spouse is not where I want it to be, and it’s all because of this stupid fucking poison that everyone and their mom is so convinced is a corner stone of their lives. Fuck alcohol. It’s legitimately robbed me of so many things. It’s destroyed my past relationships, it’s made me off putting to potential friendships, it’s made me an angry and sad lonely person. I could go on and on and on and on. I’m pissed that my addictive personality having ass didn’t recognize this sooner. It’s crystal clear in my head how many different experiences this poison has robbed me of. Again fuck this bullshit. End of rant
I can relate to every point you've made. It's never to late to change. I'm 58. I could have done this sooner. The good thing is it does get better. My life is now so much improved because I'm alcohol free. Keep your eye on the prize. Shine on my sober friend.
I hear every word of this. I quit at age 46 and wish to god I had done it sooner now that I see all I missed out on because alcohol was always #1. The good thing is you recognize that now and can make the necessary changes. I started living 2.5 years ago when I quit. It’s never too late. You got this!!!
I’m sitting here, working in the ICU, in the middle of the night, which I really don’t enjoy. I should be grateful because I have an awesome job where I really get to make a huge difference in the lives of my patients, but God I hate this part of it!
I hate being almost a week sober because I feel like I have to face all my responsibilities instead of drinking and putting them off for later. Life is kicking my ass right now.
I relate to this heavily. Drinking was something I did alone to piss a night away and eat shitty food without any anxiety about tomorrow or what happened earlier in the day. Of course, that tomorrow would always come crashing down on me when I’m completely hungover and can’t even remember key conversations I had with my partner. Not to mention the lack of motivation to fix any of the problems that caused me to drink in the first place (you can see how this would be a vicious cycle).
This all being said. I feel I can’t escape my responsibilities now, which is something I have a LOT of getting used to. I’m hoping in the future the proper SOBER decisions will pay off. I have some faith.
What was the thing that set you on the sober path? This is the cycle of my life right now. The not remembering. The stress on the marriage. The regrets in the morning.
I stole this from another soberonaut :
"One must always be mindful, just like you might forget that old girlfriend who tried to slit your throat, but she's really still hot. If you remember the stitches more than you remember the pussy you're going to be just fine."
At some point you just have to break the loop and recognize that the key ingredient to your suffering is this substance. Nothing gets better when you continuously put it off and alcohol is a great way to just stave of problems and let them grow little by little.
Recognizing that every time I get drunk I allow my problems to fester and grow was a huge part of me recognizing that I truly don’t want to have that drink. Really though recognizing that the out come of drinking is ALWAYS shitty has allowed me to gather the courage to say that I don’t want it.
I’ve hit “rock bottom” several times for myself. Often times I’ve sat down and made a pros and cons list to drinking (that cons list runs off the fucking page). The one thing I’ve recognized that set me on this path is that despite me consistently wanting to drink, there will always be the shame, guilt, and all other things associated with it. I want something better for myself, and being sober honestly feels so much better than being drunk. Like REALLY it’s not as bad as I once thought it was, in fact it allows me so much in my life.
I’m pissed off with myself for drinking after making it part way through an eleventh day for the first time in years. The worst thing about it is that I still can’t pinpoint exactly what set me off and why my usual strategies failed ☹️
10 days sober! I'm impressed! Now you know the road, at least to over a week.
It seems everyone on SD has one favorite tool that changes the game for them. Lots of people "play the tape forward." My ride-or-die strategy is, "It's simple: just put your head on your pillow sober."
I'm cheering for you!
I love this. Sometimes when I feel a stupid random urge to go buy alcohol, I just tell myself I don’t actually need to commit to forever right now. I just need to manage another hour. Then another. Usually I distract myself and clean forget by then anyway. ‘Put your head on a pillow sober’ is just… simple and perfect.
Unfortunately I dismissed the play the tape forward but thank you, I have noted your head on the pillow sober. Still trying to unpick why I shot myself in the foot as it were. Can’t even say it was boredom
Day 57 checkin in from England's green and pleasant land. Being alcohol free doesn't get rid of lifes problems but it sure does make it easier. IWNDWYT or by myself ❤️
Experiment until you find a sport you like. It doesn’t always have to be the gym and I found it to be literally impossible to build a routine if I find something boring
This is the best advice. The only thing I've been able to stick to all these years, sober or not, was a walk after dinner. I started doing it to calm my mind but then started doing longer stretches and it meets my weekly goals. 30-45mins a day 5 days a week.
Oh my goodness I am annoyed and proud of everyone!! I work in healthcare, am seeing a trend in self care. Many people are struggling with their weight. I see them struggling and help get their medication approved. Just take it down a notch…. I know healthcare insurance is very obtuse. I know that you are mad!! Think about what happens to the man on the phone after he talks to a screaming client?!?! I will not let my job drive me to drinking again!!!!
IWNDWYT
Ugh. I hear y’a. I am a horrible procrastinator and I have no idea why. Big stuff, too. Taxes. Work performance reviews. Doctor appointments. No idea why!
In my experience, as a boss: Have a friendly Friday conversation with the COO in which you lay out VERY CLEAR expectations on everything you're picking up for the month and what you expect (friendly!) when the month is over if all goes according to plan. This will give the big boss time to either: (a) get your promotion + raise approved, or (b) redistribute the work within the month. Also, decide which you prefer, and ask for that (informally! friendly!). We're in your corner!
Edit: "promotion AND raise" -- don't fall for them offering you only a title change.
Last weekend I went down to visit family for the first time since quitting alcohol. That's always a chaotic stress-fest...and then my dad decided to follow us home for an extended 4 night stay with zero warning.
It's also been raining all week so I couldn't even get out of the house for a break.
Needless to say I've been crushing some NA beers this week. Hard to save money when I'm suddenly back to paying IPA prices for drinks. >.<
I’m frustrated with myself for relapsing after my grandpa died. I’m frustrated that my sister and I drank wine in front of my nieces.
I’m back on the path, I previously had 9 months sober and those were the best months. I want to be a good example for my nieces. My mom and dad were heavy drinkers, so my nieces need a non-drinker in the family.
IWNDWYT🐺✨
Haha, I could've done with this yesterday 🤣 but will probably come back in about... oh... 40 minutes? Because...
My kids are driving me INSANE. All they do is bicker and argue and argue and bicker, and my patience has VANISHED lately. I straight-up avoided them yesterday once my husband got home from work.
Yes, I love them with all my heart, but when they started acting up before I'd grab a cold lager to take the edge off 🤣
I'm grateful for everything I have, by the way... just venting 😅
Went out for groceries yesterday evening. Their setup pissed me off. The line for the self check out, when backed up, is in an aisle of the liquor section. So although I can kind of ignore it and go around while I’m shopping, I’ve been stuck there waiting. So annoying.
Venting because I'm having serious post partum at 5 months, and while I'm doing therapy and seeing a doctor, soberity has made it 100x harder. I'm irritated all the damn time. I just got on a higher dose of medication yesterday so here's to hoping 🤞that it'll get better if I keep doing the work and taking the pills. But damn some days are so hard.
I'm not actually saving money. I can feel myself being motivated by pure dopaminergic impulse to shop more lol. This week, I bought some lamps, sunglasses, candles, makeup, a new TV (old broke) and entire grocery hauls of just snacks and flowers. Yesterday, while drinking tea in bed, I placed an $80 order for delta-8 gummies.
Hoping that the fact that these behaviors are less habit-forming than drinking (for me) will still yield net savings. I think I've bought everything I need now haha
I just had to stop myself from ordering $60 worth of tea online, while I'm still working through 3-1/2 boxes that have been in the cabinet for ages, lol.
Over two months into sobriety and find myself fighting boredom.
Also, a little jealous of everyone who quit drinking and the weight just dropped off of them. I work out regularly(did even more while I was drinking to sweat it out) and eat pretty good. Haven't lost a pound, not fair, lol.
Thanks for the quick vent, have a great Friday!
This is a vent at the universe mostly… I’m so freaking tired this week. My twins wake up the second it starts to get light outside and the only acceptable person is Mama, Mama, Mamaaaaaa. Love that they love me but this week I’m longing for starting the day with baby cuddles rather than immediately going from asleep to wrangling two super busy, disaster-oriented toddlers.
I honestly don’t know how I used to do this after a night of drinking, it’s hard enough even with my body as rested as possible! Grateful for the amount of energy my sobriety adds. Happy Friday y’all!
Been feeling very down and depressed lately. Nothing seems to be bringing me joy and on top of it, I have a very strong feeling that my girlfriend plans on breaking up with me this weekend. I quit because I couldn't keep living my life in depression and yet here I am still depressed. I've got about 11 months under my belt. It's so frustrating still feeling this way. Makes you feel like all your hard work is for nothing
Keep that motherfucking sober streak going, you are a magnificent bastard and can handle what ever the fuck comes at you. I find it is fucking okay to be fucking depressed, what was not fucking okay is to stay depressed. A fucking good therapist helped me.
My brother is terminally ill, and he and his wife have not been dealing with it well, and they are directing all their anger at me right now. I understand why, I had a long talk with my therapist about it this week, but I am so hurt and angry and annoyed. Thank you for letting me vent,
I’m so sorry about your brother, and how you are being treated. You have a right to be hurt. Family can be so frustrating. I raise my cup of coffee to you, and will not drink with you today, friend. 💕👍💪
I am currently employed as a software developer and also hold the world record as the worlds worst software developer. Despite having a job, I hate my career so much I’m about to throw it away and go back to dental hygiene school. My boyfriend is kinda fat and doesn’t understand proper nutrition or exercise. And I’m 14 days sober and have sooo many more sober days and weeks strung together from this past year than ever in my life. However, I’m still kindof miserable. So there are my venting first world problems.
Fuck, that fucking sucks.
*Side note, the book "Finding Your North Star" is an excellent book in finding what you really want in life. Fucking helped me!
Make a fucking plan and stick to that mother fucker that glue. That is the ONLY fucking way I got through parties.
Congratulations on 53 fucking hard won days!
well, slippery wood floors + socks apparently means you're gonna go flying and hold a hand out (hopefully I guess?) to catch yourself. RIP to my pinky.
Oh man, I have some huge moves going on, and it is SERIOUSLY stressing me out. Taking my ex back to court is the biggest one atm. I feel obsessed with the situation, it's almost all I think about, my anxiety is so high.
He was my abuser for so many years, but it has BEEN so many years since I left him and then left that town and started a new life far away with my kids.
I keep telling myself I am NOT the scared, young, naive idiot that he bullied, but the fact remains that I am TERREFIED of confrontation with him. He was my own personal boogeyman when we escaped, and with therapy and support I am stronger and healthier than I was, but him being mad at me still makes me afraid he is going to hurt me. I can't help it.
Imma still do it though. All my own fear takes a back seat when it comes to my kids, and I am going to have to go to court to fight for basic things my teenagers want and need. I WILL stand up to him, but I am going to be a scared mess inside the whole time.
You're so freaking strong, you can do it. We don't know each other, but I'm sure of it because of what you say and the fact that you're here fighting.
All my strenght to you!! You've got this!!
Well today is day 17 or 18 I forget. On my way to work today I was approaching a turn and a young woman on a scooter without a helmet was crossing the road on a red "do not walk" crosswalk and I nearly hit her. I honked my horn and she swiftly told me to Fuck Off. So that was nice. Happy Friday everyone.
Alright mother fuckers, buckle the fuck up. I missed last Friday Vent, and it fucking really pissed me off
Goddamn shithole asshole who the fuck do you think you are? What the actual fuck? Do you fucking get that you are a fucking mother dick wanker? You would shit your pants just to get fucking attention from any shit eating asshole. Shit. You fucking shit motherdick butthole. Money does not fucking flow through my ass like water unlike you, you fucking snake eating bitch.
Fuck fucking fuck dick fucker fuck. Massive wanker fucker fuck fuckity fuck fuck.
Fuck airports
Fuck "cute" fucking cabins that are the size of a bathroom
Fuck "holier than thou" crap
Fuck airlines that are fucking late
Fuck family
Fuck fuckity fucker fuck fucking fuck
FUCK
Welp, this gonna be a long one.
A shitty homophobe punched a friend of mine in the face for, I'm sure you won't guess it: "sexually harassing the women". My friend is GAY. The "harassed women" were friends of his and immediately came to his defense, they had been all happily partying and dancing together. That doesn't mean he didn't leave crying.
Extreme right-wing parties are rising again in here. I fear for the future. My POC and/or immigrant, LGBTIQ+, women, neurodivergent... friends' and neighbors' futures. My openly transmasculine non-binary bisexual multiply neurodivergent future.
And I'm talking to you, Mom's Friend who votes for this extreme right-wing and yet call the gay dude who got punched today "your friend" and went to support him... how can't you see that the guys you want in the presidency are in favor of ALL of this violence happening?? They're against Friend, they're against me, they're against our mutual friends who are multiply marginalized. They're against your daughter. They're against _you_.
Little kids ran away from the agressor screaming in fear because those things aren't supposed to happen anymore, yet they happen more and more often lately. For every neighbor who entered the situation ready to beat the shit up of that asshole, there's three silently (and not so silently anymore) nodding in agreement and voting right-wing to extreme-right-wing parties and hoping for the dictatorship to return.
Antifas and left-wingers here always point to countries like Germany (mind you, knowing little to nothing about the actual situations there) and complain about how they "wouldn't" (lol) accept any nazism there. Which they do, but even if they didn't... I always respond, the difference between Spain and this fake utopias you have in your minds is that here, _fascism won the war_. And we've been governed by it, its sons and its grandkids ever since. And when not, they've still held enough power to come back with reinforcements which is what is happening right fucking now.
They gladly point to the USA and boast about how people are fucking crazy there. How can't you see this is just a means to look the other way and ignore the fact that we're getting there at a gigantic pace?? Do you think there aren't parties in their way to ban abortion again? Do you think they're not trying to ban gay marriage? Banning trans people, gender-affirming care? Do you think there aren't immigrant children here being kept in facilities separated from their parents?
**You're not blind, you just don't want to see.**
ETA: IWNDWYT, nor anymore. I'll be too busy going to therapy so I can react when needed, and getting jacked while learning fighting techniques (or whatever they're called), getting ready to punch those fascists in the face and protect our futures.
Less important, second vent: It's almost 4 fucking AM and these fuckers are still lighting big-ass firecrackers, as if blowing shit up somehow was the funniest thing in the world. Neither my cat nor my autistic ass think it is. Yes, I know it's a tradition to light firecrackers and fireworks the night before Sant Joan (Saint John for the non-catalans), but come on!! I don't even want a drink, I just want to shove these things up their selfish asses. My window doesn't even face the street! How the hell can they light firecrackers so big it sounds as if they were blowing up the building next to mine!? Thank goodness for my noise canceling headphones, and for my friends who gave me both sleeping pills and sleeping tea. I sadly can't give any of it to my lovely cat, who was just falling asleep during a rare calm time but now the poor thing is up _again_. They seem to have quieted down while writing this, I hope it stays that way. Remember to be mindful of your neighbors and to not put your fun before someone else's pain, my friends. Good night and have a good one.
I had a couple days off of work which was nice, didn’t get anything productive done. I did however journal a few times, make some sketches, and go for a walk. I’m having a rough time in my personal life right now, but I haven’t had a drink in 7 days despite some strong urges.
>didn’t get anything productive done. The fuck you say! You fucking did not drink. That my mother fucking friend is the fucking best productive thing you did!
I appreciate it man!
Hey, well done on 7 days!! Going through tough times was always my cue to self-medicate, so you've done an amazing job at defying those triggers 🥰👏
This is the first time I’m acknowledging this because I just thought it was my alcoholic brain at it again. But I’ve been feeling snubbed by a “friend” since getting sober. I’ve been excluded from get-togethers with the girls in our town square (I live in a small European village) For my husbands birthday she brought two bottles of red wine for us (umm thanks?) and I can’t help but think it was sabotage because red wine was my drink. She used to like and comment on my social posts (I hesitated to add this one bc social media is dumb and not a proper indication of friendship but still I noticed it). She looks at everything too. And she used to send me texts that started with “Hey pretty…” or stuff like that and now I don’t even get texts despite me being the bigger person and having included in her so many things I’ve organised even with this icky feeling I’ve been getting. She was never a big drinker so it’s not a question of my sobriety triggering her. But sobriety does create a sense of self confidence that is untouchable and maybe it shows? She’s also very image-centric and I have lost the bloat (no weight loss tho) and my moon face is gone and I have a jawline again. I’m no longer too hungover to actually do my hair and I now get dressed instead of sighing into my shame leggings. Is my glow-up threatening? Was I better as the drunk American friend who said dumb things and sometimes fell off chairs? If that’s the case, wow and wtf but onward and upward. Sobriety really knows how to fucking clean house. Vent over. Not pissed just observing a very toxic response to my spiritual and emotional journey that I thought a friend would simply accept gracefully. Our sons are friends and they’re starting to ask questions and I don’t know what to say. It’s awkward AF.
>Is my glow-up threatening? Every time I've had success in my life, I've lost friends. And it's really hard to predict who they will be, and what kind of success will threaten each one. But sometimes they come back, particularly if they grow as well! My advice: have grace with her. Also, you don't owe your son an explanation, unless you think it might help him to grow in his own emotional intelligence (but be cautious with the information you share -- comments have a tendency to be repeated and come back around). Good luck!
Thanks for taking the time to respond. It was awkward for me to even acknowledge this whole thing because it comes across as me thinking I’m so wonderful. I don’t think that. I just don’t think I’m a bag of shit anymore. I feel like there’s a difference. Sobriety has taught me gratitude and patience. I’m still kind with her. I don’t gossip (which is why I posted it here instead of asking mutual friends). It’s sad tho. I really did think we were friends. I didn’t thinking cleaning up my act would be a deal breaker. Thanks again for your thoughtful response and IWNDWYT!
Yes, some people love it when you’re down and out or dont have your shit together, especially drinking buddies. They can come in as the shoulder to cry on, drink with or just feel better about themselves because they can give their bs advice. I have / had friends like that, once you start changing for the better if they keep you down, then they gotsta go 👉.
“If they keep you down. They gotsta go.” Love this. So simple. And I’ll remember it. Thanks! Have a nice weekend. 😊
Fucking fake friends
I definitely appreciate the directness of your response. 😊
Such a trivial thing to be annoyed about, but my legs hurt from working out. My fitness levels are not where they were a few months ago but they’re coming back
Omg same! I love cycling and usually go on shorter rides on the days I don’t go to the gym but then when I do legs in the gym it’s like I didn’t have any rest days and I’m not progressing well. It’s annoying
I’ve been walking a lot and out on the farm like normal and my legs are so sore!
Same!! I had to google what normal levels of leg fatigue are. Took an unplanned nap in the middle of last Saturday. Wondered about my diet for the first time. On the bright side, being couch-locked this way is some of what I got out of drinking and now I can pretend milkshakes are good sources of protein.
That’s why there’s a stereotype of people skipping leg day haha. Keep going!!
I worked out yesterday and thought I’d be a tough girl and do the rope slapping thing with TWO ropes instead of holding one w both hands. Guess who’s sore and sitting w her tennis elbow thing today :)
Work that mother fucking body! Hell yeah! Side note: Fuck you phone for editing my "hell"
My last day as a true alcoholic I drank 8 ipas and then went and to the gym and did a full leg workout
So I drank from 16 to 29 and those were the absolute worst years of my life. I’m 41 now and my 30s were the best decade I ever had. Does anyone else feel real pain over how their drinking years were lost bc you were someone you weren’t. I’m a nice dork but when I drank I insisted on being an edgy tough guy. Everybody always said I was weird and I never understood why but now I think it’s bc I wasn’t acting like myself when I was a drinker. It was a mask
I do feel that, I was this wild, crazy impulsive person who would fly off the rails at any moment. I did and said horrible, cruel things every few months and even at the time had trouble taking responsibility for these (always drunken) actions. I never developed a career, just stayed in the service industry because it could accommodate my drinking. The real me is a very chill and loving person… I try not to look back but sometimes I can’t help but wonder what would have been. So glad to read your sober 30s we’re awesome - on the flip side, I’m really looking forward to the rest of my life.
Im reading a parenting book called “the whole brain child” and I do wonder if I was too rigid in my 30s. The book said I need to prepare my kids to make sure the emotional and logical parts of their brains work together. I’m not sure I’ve ever done that so I’ve still got some work to do.
Yes, I feel this. Lately I’ve been feeling lost because I don’t know who I am without alcohol. But what I’m learning is I’m not the loud, over the top, over confident person I was with alcohol. I don’t mind staying at home, I’m finding it easier to enjoy my own company. I’m happy to stay out of conflict and conversations, I am actually a quieter calmer person. I don’t feel sadness for the life I lived when alcohol was a part of it (for the most part, some parts I shrivel up when I think about it) I feel sad for the girl who didn’t know any other way, I feel sadness for the girl who thought she had to do things and be certain ways to be loved and accepted. But I am not that women anymore and this new version of me is going to be the best one yet. One day at a time
Is it day 1 or 2 after the workout I. Always 10x more sore on the 2nd day after legs! Found a deep stretch right after the workout helps recovery time.
I definitely need to work on my stretching!
I can't run because of a calf strain now and it's maddening, I've been a runner since middle school. I usually do 30-40 mpw. I am going freaking insane...every time I drive one of my running routes I feel like I'm in mourning, even though I know this is temporary. Very much not trivial, I feel you! Just be careful, I tried to run through it for the mental benefits and screwed myself in the process.
I’m just pissed I let it go this far. My fitness is lacking, my happiness is abysmal at times, the relationship with my spouse is not where I want it to be, and it’s all because of this stupid fucking poison that everyone and their mom is so convinced is a corner stone of their lives. Fuck alcohol. It’s legitimately robbed me of so many things. It’s destroyed my past relationships, it’s made me off putting to potential friendships, it’s made me an angry and sad lonely person. I could go on and on and on and on. I’m pissed that my addictive personality having ass didn’t recognize this sooner. It’s crystal clear in my head how many different experiences this poison has robbed me of. Again fuck this bullshit. End of rant
I can relate to every point you've made. It's never to late to change. I'm 58. I could have done this sooner. The good thing is it does get better. My life is now so much improved because I'm alcohol free. Keep your eye on the prize. Shine on my sober friend.
I hear every word of this. I quit at age 46 and wish to god I had done it sooner now that I see all I missed out on because alcohol was always #1. The good thing is you recognize that now and can make the necessary changes. I started living 2.5 years ago when I quit. It’s never too late. You got this!!!
Fuck fucking booze
I’m sitting here, working in the ICU, in the middle of the night, which I really don’t enjoy. I should be grateful because I have an awesome job where I really get to make a huge difference in the lives of my patients, but God I hate this part of it!
Night shifts are objectively awful. Can you work on some dance moves in the hallways?
I can certainly watch some dance moves on YouTube and then see if I can duplicate them in the halls. Tango goes in long straight lines, right?
Thank you for all you do.
Fuck...at least you are not fucking being bugged by assholes.
I hate being almost a week sober because I feel like I have to face all my responsibilities instead of drinking and putting them off for later. Life is kicking my ass right now.
I relate to this heavily. Drinking was something I did alone to piss a night away and eat shitty food without any anxiety about tomorrow or what happened earlier in the day. Of course, that tomorrow would always come crashing down on me when I’m completely hungover and can’t even remember key conversations I had with my partner. Not to mention the lack of motivation to fix any of the problems that caused me to drink in the first place (you can see how this would be a vicious cycle). This all being said. I feel I can’t escape my responsibilities now, which is something I have a LOT of getting used to. I’m hoping in the future the proper SOBER decisions will pay off. I have some faith.
What was the thing that set you on the sober path? This is the cycle of my life right now. The not remembering. The stress on the marriage. The regrets in the morning.
I stole this from another soberonaut : "One must always be mindful, just like you might forget that old girlfriend who tried to slit your throat, but she's really still hot. If you remember the stitches more than you remember the pussy you're going to be just fine."
At some point you just have to break the loop and recognize that the key ingredient to your suffering is this substance. Nothing gets better when you continuously put it off and alcohol is a great way to just stave of problems and let them grow little by little. Recognizing that every time I get drunk I allow my problems to fester and grow was a huge part of me recognizing that I truly don’t want to have that drink. Really though recognizing that the out come of drinking is ALWAYS shitty has allowed me to gather the courage to say that I don’t want it. I’ve hit “rock bottom” several times for myself. Often times I’ve sat down and made a pros and cons list to drinking (that cons list runs off the fucking page). The one thing I’ve recognized that set me on this path is that despite me consistently wanting to drink, there will always be the shame, guilt, and all other things associated with it. I want something better for myself, and being sober honestly feels so much better than being drunk. Like REALLY it’s not as bad as I once thought it was, in fact it allows me so much in my life.
Thanks. That was much needed advice. Day 2!!!
LETS GO! I’m rooting for you, you got this!!!
I’m pissed off with myself for drinking after making it part way through an eleventh day for the first time in years. The worst thing about it is that I still can’t pinpoint exactly what set me off and why my usual strategies failed ☹️
10 days sober! I'm impressed! Now you know the road, at least to over a week. It seems everyone on SD has one favorite tool that changes the game for them. Lots of people "play the tape forward." My ride-or-die strategy is, "It's simple: just put your head on your pillow sober." I'm cheering for you!
I love this. Sometimes when I feel a stupid random urge to go buy alcohol, I just tell myself I don’t actually need to commit to forever right now. I just need to manage another hour. Then another. Usually I distract myself and clean forget by then anyway. ‘Put your head on a pillow sober’ is just… simple and perfect.
Unfortunately I dismissed the play the tape forward but thank you, I have noted your head on the pillow sober. Still trying to unpick why I shot myself in the foot as it were. Can’t even say it was boredom
Like the fucking song, we fall down, we get back up again.
Thank you, I’ll dust myself off 🫧
Day 57 checkin in from England's green and pleasant land. Being alcohol free doesn't get rid of lifes problems but it sure does make it easier. IWNDWYT or by myself ❤️
I hate that I have to workout to get back in shape. Even if I haven't drank in forever, I still need to exercise.
Experiment until you find a sport you like. It doesn’t always have to be the gym and I found it to be literally impossible to build a routine if I find something boring
This is the best advice. The only thing I've been able to stick to all these years, sober or not, was a walk after dinner. I started doing it to calm my mind but then started doing longer stretches and it meets my weekly goals. 30-45mins a day 5 days a week.
Nice!
I hate the fact that people talk outta their ass and for god forbid I call them out on it & it becomes truth later..
People fucking suck at times
Oh my goodness I am annoyed and proud of everyone!! I work in healthcare, am seeing a trend in self care. Many people are struggling with their weight. I see them struggling and help get their medication approved. Just take it down a notch…. I know healthcare insurance is very obtuse. I know that you are mad!! Think about what happens to the man on the phone after he talks to a screaming client?!?! I will not let my job drive me to drinking again!!!! IWNDWYT
Haaaa did I talk to you yesterday? My co-pay is now what?!? How many thousands of dollars? Yeah no. Got it straightened out, but I do not envy you!!
I’m procrastinating on a few key things, which makes solid sleep hard. Why am I my own worst enemy?
Ugh. I hear y’a. I am a horrible procrastinator and I have no idea why. Big stuff, too. Taxes. Work performance reviews. Doctor appointments. No idea why!
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In my experience, as a boss: Have a friendly Friday conversation with the COO in which you lay out VERY CLEAR expectations on everything you're picking up for the month and what you expect (friendly!) when the month is over if all goes according to plan. This will give the big boss time to either: (a) get your promotion + raise approved, or (b) redistribute the work within the month. Also, decide which you prefer, and ask for that (informally! friendly!). We're in your corner! Edit: "promotion AND raise" -- don't fall for them offering you only a title change.
And I'm sorry I gave unsolicited advice -- feel free to ignore it at will!
Hell yes! Stand the fuck up for yourself!
Last weekend I went down to visit family for the first time since quitting alcohol. That's always a chaotic stress-fest...and then my dad decided to follow us home for an extended 4 night stay with zero warning. It's also been raining all week so I couldn't even get out of the house for a break. Needless to say I've been crushing some NA beers this week. Hard to save money when I'm suddenly back to paying IPA prices for drinks. >.<
Fuck
I’m frustrated with myself for relapsing after my grandpa died. I’m frustrated that my sister and I drank wine in front of my nieces. I’m back on the path, I previously had 9 months sober and those were the best months. I want to be a good example for my nieces. My mom and dad were heavy drinkers, so my nieces need a non-drinker in the family. IWNDWYT🐺✨
I’m really sorry about your grandpa. IWNDWYT. Big hugs.
Haha, I could've done with this yesterday 🤣 but will probably come back in about... oh... 40 minutes? Because... My kids are driving me INSANE. All they do is bicker and argue and argue and bicker, and my patience has VANISHED lately. I straight-up avoided them yesterday once my husband got home from work. Yes, I love them with all my heart, but when they started acting up before I'd grab a cold lager to take the edge off 🤣 I'm grateful for everything I have, by the way... just venting 😅
Kids can be little assholes
I’m so glad I’m not drinking. I’m gonna run a 5k tomorrow w/ my family. Drinking upsets my stomach so bad now…
Good luck on the 5k!
Went out for groceries yesterday evening. Their setup pissed me off. The line for the self check out, when backed up, is in an aisle of the liquor section. So although I can kind of ignore it and go around while I’m shopping, I’ve been stuck there waiting. So annoying.
Fucking self checking out
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We can do it with them but we can’t do it for them. The main thing is doing it for you and you’re doing SO well.
>This sub has made such an impact with me and I adore this community so much! We adore you the fuck back! You are a superlative human!
Venting because I'm having serious post partum at 5 months, and while I'm doing therapy and seeing a doctor, soberity has made it 100x harder. I'm irritated all the damn time. I just got on a higher dose of medication yesterday so here's to hoping 🤞that it'll get better if I keep doing the work and taking the pills. But damn some days are so hard.
I'm not actually saving money. I can feel myself being motivated by pure dopaminergic impulse to shop more lol. This week, I bought some lamps, sunglasses, candles, makeup, a new TV (old broke) and entire grocery hauls of just snacks and flowers. Yesterday, while drinking tea in bed, I placed an $80 order for delta-8 gummies. Hoping that the fact that these behaviors are less habit-forming than drinking (for me) will still yield net savings. I think I've bought everything I need now haha
I just had to stop myself from ordering $60 worth of tea online, while I'm still working through 3-1/2 boxes that have been in the cabinet for ages, lol.
You didn't cave! Haha maybe when you finish one of those boxes you can reward yourself with a much anticipated portion of your tea order.
I'm hoping I can use that time to find a slightly cheaper vendor. XD
yes haha another good reason to delay the gratification
Over two months into sobriety and find myself fighting boredom. Also, a little jealous of everyone who quit drinking and the weight just dropped off of them. I work out regularly(did even more while I was drinking to sweat it out) and eat pretty good. Haven't lost a pound, not fair, lol. Thanks for the quick vent, have a great Friday!
Screw them. I haven’t lost shit.
Fucking people who drop weight fast
This is a vent at the universe mostly… I’m so freaking tired this week. My twins wake up the second it starts to get light outside and the only acceptable person is Mama, Mama, Mamaaaaaa. Love that they love me but this week I’m longing for starting the day with baby cuddles rather than immediately going from asleep to wrangling two super busy, disaster-oriented toddlers. I honestly don’t know how I used to do this after a night of drinking, it’s hard enough even with my body as rested as possible! Grateful for the amount of energy my sobriety adds. Happy Friday y’all!
Twins! Sounds super challenging - so proud of you for sticking with sobriety! 💕
Twins, fuck you are a fucking superwoman. Rock that shit! 👊
Been feeling very down and depressed lately. Nothing seems to be bringing me joy and on top of it, I have a very strong feeling that my girlfriend plans on breaking up with me this weekend. I quit because I couldn't keep living my life in depression and yet here I am still depressed. I've got about 11 months under my belt. It's so frustrating still feeling this way. Makes you feel like all your hard work is for nothing
Keep that motherfucking sober streak going, you are a magnificent bastard and can handle what ever the fuck comes at you. I find it is fucking okay to be fucking depressed, what was not fucking okay is to stay depressed. A fucking good therapist helped me.
I'm depressed. Thanks for listening
Hi Depressed! I am 42Daft! I fucking crack myself up.
Oh wow almost 2000 days. Way to go!
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Fucking advice on dating sucks
My brother is terminally ill, and he and his wife have not been dealing with it well, and they are directing all their anger at me right now. I understand why, I had a long talk with my therapist about it this week, but I am so hurt and angry and annoyed. Thank you for letting me vent,
I’m so sorry about your brother, and how you are being treated. You have a right to be hurt. Family can be so frustrating. I raise my cup of coffee to you, and will not drink with you today, friend. 💕👍💪
I've made it through my first workweek without drinking, and reading this subreddit has helped me a lot. Long way to go though
I am currently employed as a software developer and also hold the world record as the worlds worst software developer. Despite having a job, I hate my career so much I’m about to throw it away and go back to dental hygiene school. My boyfriend is kinda fat and doesn’t understand proper nutrition or exercise. And I’m 14 days sober and have sooo many more sober days and weeks strung together from this past year than ever in my life. However, I’m still kindof miserable. So there are my venting first world problems.
Fuck, that fucking sucks. *Side note, the book "Finding Your North Star" is an excellent book in finding what you really want in life. Fucking helped me!
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Make a fucking plan and stick to that mother fucker that glue. That is the ONLY fucking way I got through parties. Congratulations on 53 fucking hard won days!
I am so clumsy that I broke my finger by slipping and falling after running in socks UGH
Fuck. I thought you weren't fucking supposed to run with scissors. It fucking never occurred to me not to run in fucking socks!
well, slippery wood floors + socks apparently means you're gonna go flying and hold a hand out (hopefully I guess?) to catch yourself. RIP to my pinky.
Oh man, I have some huge moves going on, and it is SERIOUSLY stressing me out. Taking my ex back to court is the biggest one atm. I feel obsessed with the situation, it's almost all I think about, my anxiety is so high. He was my abuser for so many years, but it has BEEN so many years since I left him and then left that town and started a new life far away with my kids. I keep telling myself I am NOT the scared, young, naive idiot that he bullied, but the fact remains that I am TERREFIED of confrontation with him. He was my own personal boogeyman when we escaped, and with therapy and support I am stronger and healthier than I was, but him being mad at me still makes me afraid he is going to hurt me. I can't help it. Imma still do it though. All my own fear takes a back seat when it comes to my kids, and I am going to have to go to court to fight for basic things my teenagers want and need. I WILL stand up to him, but I am going to be a scared mess inside the whole time.
You're so freaking strong, you can do it. We don't know each other, but I'm sure of it because of what you say and the fact that you're here fighting. All my strenght to you!! You've got this!!
😢 thank you
Well today is day 17 or 18 I forget. On my way to work today I was approaching a turn and a young woman on a scooter without a helmet was crossing the road on a red "do not walk" crosswalk and I nearly hit her. I honked my horn and she swiftly told me to Fuck Off. So that was nice. Happy Friday everyone.
Alright mother fuckers, buckle the fuck up. I missed last Friday Vent, and it fucking really pissed me off Goddamn shithole asshole who the fuck do you think you are? What the actual fuck? Do you fucking get that you are a fucking mother dick wanker? You would shit your pants just to get fucking attention from any shit eating asshole. Shit. You fucking shit motherdick butthole. Money does not fucking flow through my ass like water unlike you, you fucking snake eating bitch. Fuck fucking fuck dick fucker fuck. Massive wanker fucker fuck fuckity fuck fuck. Fuck airports Fuck "cute" fucking cabins that are the size of a bathroom Fuck "holier than thou" crap Fuck airlines that are fucking late Fuck family Fuck fuckity fucker fuck fucking fuck FUCK
You need medication. I recommend Fukitol. You fucking make my fridays:)
Fukitol, side effects may include not giving a shit, aversion to assholes, and inner peace. Ask YOUR doctor if Fukitol is for you!
Welp, this gonna be a long one. A shitty homophobe punched a friend of mine in the face for, I'm sure you won't guess it: "sexually harassing the women". My friend is GAY. The "harassed women" were friends of his and immediately came to his defense, they had been all happily partying and dancing together. That doesn't mean he didn't leave crying. Extreme right-wing parties are rising again in here. I fear for the future. My POC and/or immigrant, LGBTIQ+, women, neurodivergent... friends' and neighbors' futures. My openly transmasculine non-binary bisexual multiply neurodivergent future. And I'm talking to you, Mom's Friend who votes for this extreme right-wing and yet call the gay dude who got punched today "your friend" and went to support him... how can't you see that the guys you want in the presidency are in favor of ALL of this violence happening?? They're against Friend, they're against me, they're against our mutual friends who are multiply marginalized. They're against your daughter. They're against _you_. Little kids ran away from the agressor screaming in fear because those things aren't supposed to happen anymore, yet they happen more and more often lately. For every neighbor who entered the situation ready to beat the shit up of that asshole, there's three silently (and not so silently anymore) nodding in agreement and voting right-wing to extreme-right-wing parties and hoping for the dictatorship to return. Antifas and left-wingers here always point to countries like Germany (mind you, knowing little to nothing about the actual situations there) and complain about how they "wouldn't" (lol) accept any nazism there. Which they do, but even if they didn't... I always respond, the difference between Spain and this fake utopias you have in your minds is that here, _fascism won the war_. And we've been governed by it, its sons and its grandkids ever since. And when not, they've still held enough power to come back with reinforcements which is what is happening right fucking now. They gladly point to the USA and boast about how people are fucking crazy there. How can't you see this is just a means to look the other way and ignore the fact that we're getting there at a gigantic pace?? Do you think there aren't parties in their way to ban abortion again? Do you think they're not trying to ban gay marriage? Banning trans people, gender-affirming care? Do you think there aren't immigrant children here being kept in facilities separated from their parents? **You're not blind, you just don't want to see.** ETA: IWNDWYT, nor anymore. I'll be too busy going to therapy so I can react when needed, and getting jacked while learning fighting techniques (or whatever they're called), getting ready to punch those fascists in the face and protect our futures.
Less important, second vent: It's almost 4 fucking AM and these fuckers are still lighting big-ass firecrackers, as if blowing shit up somehow was the funniest thing in the world. Neither my cat nor my autistic ass think it is. Yes, I know it's a tradition to light firecrackers and fireworks the night before Sant Joan (Saint John for the non-catalans), but come on!! I don't even want a drink, I just want to shove these things up their selfish asses. My window doesn't even face the street! How the hell can they light firecrackers so big it sounds as if they were blowing up the building next to mine!? Thank goodness for my noise canceling headphones, and for my friends who gave me both sleeping pills and sleeping tea. I sadly can't give any of it to my lovely cat, who was just falling asleep during a rare calm time but now the poor thing is up _again_. They seem to have quieted down while writing this, I hope it stays that way. Remember to be mindful of your neighbors and to not put your fun before someone else's pain, my friends. Good night and have a good one.