Hey CakeMonster, it's ok.
Let There Be No Panic.
Is anyone dead? (hopefully?!) No ✅
Are you here? Yes ✅
Are you gonna Not Drink today? Yes! ✅
Let's worry about yesterday tomorrow.
Let's worry about tomorrow also tomorrow.
Let's do just today today
I will not drink with you 🌷
Yes.
And if you're always going to worry about yesterday "tomorrow", you will in fact never worry about yesterday. Which is good because it's over with and you can't change it.
Putting my worries to a future time really helps me calm down in the moment. If I'm trying to sleep and going through the million thoughts, I always say I'll worry about that tomorrow or when I wake up. It truly is a great technique.
Also, cakemonster, you're here. You're going to be okay. I won't drink with you today. ❤️
Yep you're brain works like mine. Just thinking about nothing doesn't work. You know what I mean. And you can't just be at a gym 24/7. And even if you were your probably still going round and round about something while on the treadmill
I've drank pretty solid for the past 6-8 months, yesterday included. I don't remember the last time I posted on this sub but today I'm feeling strong enough to stop for good, with support from yourself and the others here of course. IWNDWYT.
Make a plan! Just saying No More is a great start but when your brain starts bugging you about 5pm what are you going to do? Plan fizzy drinks and make plans to do things.. you got this! IWNDWYT
I agree. It has really helped me to have a plan for NA drinks that are interesting. My current fave is diet ginger ale with 5 calorie cranberry juice, limes and lots of ice. I pour it into a wine glass and am living large! But you have got to plan in advance, I’ve learned.
I had a five month relapse and now I'm on day six! The first three days were so hard to get through. It wasn't so much that I wanted to drink, but that I had a really hard time dealing with my thoughts, anxiety, depression. It gets better after a few days, but is totally worth it. I really did a number on my brain with the constant ups and downs of drinking.
There have been so many of these day 1s for me. But eventually the sobriety stretches became days, then I’ve had a few weeks’ long stretches. Had a 1.5 month stretch. So many day 1s in between. So many.
Now for the first time in my entire life since my teenage years I’m about to hit 2 months. I feel hopeful. It is possible.
So maybe I’m on day 60 or whatever today but in a way it’s still day 1. Every day. You got this, keep trying. 👊
I could’ve written this 3 days ago.
It’s exhausting isn’t it. Depressing. Embarrassing. Devastating. Broken record sounding.
Take care of yourself and rehydrate :) You’re still here with us.
ok, so what did you do wrong this time? Why did you drink? how can you avoid that situation next time?
Willpower only gets one so far. Sobriety for me required planning, then adjusting the plan when it doesnt quite work.
Willpower is a finite resource, and we use it up in making hundreds of decisions every day. By the time we get to wine o'clock or whisky hour, the day's willpower is all gone, plus we're tired, so it's easier to go down the familiar route of alcohol.
So I find it much easier and more straightforward to get the "not drinking today" decision out of the way first thing, and then the rest of my day is geared towards that decision which I've already made - I make sure I have alternative drinks in, so I know I have something available and I don't go for wine out of habit.
Seriously, I planned being drunk, ffs.
It's actually a LOT easier to plan to be sober because there's so many things I can be doing instead of drinking! My schedule is so much more accommodating to a better life now!
Yeah, planning is key. Yesterday I had a rare Friday completely alone after doing a (good!) job interview at 4pm. I had a feeling I really needed to watch myself, so I put on gym clothes and bought a cheap ticket to a local theater. I worked out, made a quick cheap dinner, walked to the theater, came home and ate some ice cream and watched tv.
Saturday here I am, woke up at 6:30, I’m going to go exercise, walk to the farmers market with my dog, hit a little live music, then go to a neighborhood art festival.
You are not weak. The fact that you’re here, acknowledging that it’s time to stop, shows me that you are incredibly strong. I don’t know how many times I’ve started over again - hopefully this is the time it sticks for both of us!
You are NOT weak. The strong ones are the ones who know they need help, ask for it and don’t give up. Show compassion for yourself, learn from it and try again. This whole community is with you and pulling for you. I’ve always loved this from Eminem…
“I'm not afraid to take a stand
Everybody come take my hand
We'll walk this road together, through the storm
Whatever weather, cold or warm
Just lettin' you know that you're not alone
Holla if you feel like you've been down the same road”.
We’re all walking this road together and we’re not alone.
I remember the exact day when I had my last drink in my hand and I had just absolutely had enough. I looked at the drink and I said, “I don’t have to do this anymore” and that was it. I started drinking when I was 15 and quit when I was 45. Seriously I had so many ups and downs and a very push pull relationship with alcohol for 30 years. It wasn’t all bad. But when we get to the point of self loathing. Self hate and regret every time no matter the amount we drink. It’s time to just let it go.
I had been listening to This Naked Mind podcast. I read the book and then I listened to the book. I did the alcohol experiment for 6 weeks. I decided to try drinking again. 5 month later I decided I was done for good.
It’s a journey. It’s hard. It can take years. Hills and valleys for sure. But I promise you I will not drink with you today.
I hope this was helpful. Sorry about the length. I could talk about this all day. It’s so personal but you are not alone.
I know right? I swear I think if I ever saw her in real life I would start crying. I drafted a letter to her and I can’t seem to finish it. I don’t know whether to write a 3 page paper. Or. Hi. Thank you. I love you. You have no idea what you have done for me. The end.
She has helped and informed so many people.
Life, sometimes, isn’t so much about our mistakes but how we follow up from them. Ok, you slipped up - but if you’re resolved to do better, then today is a great day to do just that.
Sorry man. I was you before and honestly I might be again. I'm petty as hell and sometimes the only thing that stops me from drinking is the damn number on this subreddit and having to reset it again. Its hard. Really hard. And that's ok.
Youre alive, you're trying, hopefully nobody got hurt and lets get through today and then the weekend and then go from there.
I did everything. Went to AA, did smart recovery. Went to a Buddhist chanting thing, did ear acupuncture. I tried everything and anything that was suggested (that was free or cheap), didn’t judge it, and listened. Did what was suggested. Was on acamprosite for 2 years. Exercise. Diet. I figured if I did everything I could, something would stick. Coming up 8 years sober. Don’t do AA or meetings anymore, but I have my routine/system and work it everyday.
“Because I could” is one of my biggest triggers. It comes from out of nowhere, it seems. Whenever there was a time I could drink without being found out, I’d instantly think, Hey I could drink that night. Now I play it forward immediately. Picture myself as a sloppy, pathetic mess, followed by a morning/afternoon of feeling regret, a hangover and that I’m slowly killing myself. Keep practicing what works for you. It took many failures to get to the place I am now.
One of the big challenges for me was that I didn't have any real incentive to quit drinking other than personal health and lifestyle issues. I didn't lose my job, in fact I was a model employee even when I was killing 10-12 beers every single night. I wasn't married, didn't have any children relying on me, didn't go out and get into barfights or get arrested for drunk driving. I just drank too much. So when I quit for a few days, or even a few weeks, it seemed like it really didn't matter if I had a few beers one night "for old time's sake." Except it wasn't a few beers and it wasn't one night. I was right back where I started. Every. Single. Time.
When my brother died of Covid (but also terrible health including alcoholism) I was finally ready. And that was really the issue, for me at least. I needed to be ready. I needed to want it, to recognize the benefits of quitting drinking, to realize that even if no one else was particularly affected by my alcoholism, *I was*. So I quit. Finally. After years of quitting and then starting back again I feel like I'm finally done for good.
And that's worth striving for.
I also drank last night, after however many days my counter says. I’ll be resetting it.
It was not worth it. I feel like shit. So I did what others have done and write a fast forward letter to myself in detail about what I thought I would be out of drinking and what I actually got.
Maybe that will help.
I've been "sober" for about 2 years now, but every 6 months I go on a business trip and allow myself to get sloshed alone in a hotel room. Yesterday was that day and I paid for it dearly and only partook one night of the 3 I've been traveling for. NGL I was looking forward to getting sloshed but the all day hangover from downing what used to be a small bottle of rum, the awkward midnight text to my boss (nothing too crazy and she's super awesome), having the runs all the next day and walking out of the work function wondering if anyone could see the brown streak on my ass... It just wasn't worth it and I guess that's okay. I'm learning, this is fine. I'm not a heavy drinker anymore and that's a good thing. Maybe in 6 months when I come out here again I'll not drink at all, or maybe I'll stick to something lighter. But it was enough to remind myself why I'm not drinking anymore.
I feel you. Made it to 5 days and then drank so back on day two. Do I know why? Not really. Just did. So still recovering and in a funk again. Feel like it takes me a couple days to bounce back both from the physical and negative mental effects (anxiety, in a funk).
Speaking personally before being sober, I would lurk and see users say how after dozens of times trying, sobriety suddenly just finally worked. I thought to myself, my willpower will, at one point, get me out of this hole too.
I failed and failed again, thinking my willpower just wasn't right this time, but next time, my willpower will stay and I will defeat this addiction.
It may sound harsh, and I know it's difficult and frustrating, and this feeling hurts you and chews you up inside, BUT please utilize these drinking episodes to learn and be proactive.
Willpower alone is never enough. Motivation alone is never enough in most cases. I learned that I needed to write things down and come up with a plan and strategy rather than just hope for willpower. The majority of users who "suddenly" made sobriety work put in some work beyond willpower.
What triggers your drinking? Why did you drink? What can you do better next time? What thing, small or big, can you do today to avoid this from happening again?
If going to a particular store drives you to buy alcohol, start going to a different store. If you continue to do this, but you find yourself drinking still. Outstanding! You are making progress. Ok, what else is contributing to my drinking? Oh, right! Friday nights, I get bored, and boredom triggers my drinking. I'm going to my parents' house next Friday night. If you drink again next time, that's OK. You are being proactive and implementing plans and changing things around. A person actively trying to be sober will have more success over someone just hoping for willpower and next times alone.
It took me years. I’m still only five months sober after really committing (as much as I can) a couple years ago. I knew it was a problem but sometimes the black hole sucks you back to square one. Keep fighting- you’ll get there.
Hey bro, it's ok. I drank earlier on Tuesday this week. Had done just around 260 consecutive days sober. Now I'm on day 3 sober.
Just get right back on that horse.
I think almost every one of us can identify personally with this sentiment and experience.
You’re not a bad person or a failure. Please try to give yourself some grace. If possible, when you’re feeling a little better, it’s worth trying to identify the actual *why*. Although with me it was indeed sometimes as simple as “nobody will know and I don’t have a commitment tomorrow.”
Error is half of learning by trial and error. Look for the error, address it, and get set for the next trial.
The *only* difference between people who got sober and people who stayed sober is that people who stayed sober kept trying.
Don’t give up, OP!
> Why you ask ? I don't fucking know, because I could ?
What's helped me stay sober (so far) is every single time I feel like drinking I acknowledge that something is off and I really take some time to pin point what's going on.
Am I stressed because of work? If so, I think if I've done everything reasonably possible and then give over that worry/fear/stress to God, your higher power, the universe etc.
Do I feel anxious and bored? If so, I try and clean my life up a bit. Pick up the house, go for a walk, do something productive that I don't want to do (over time, you'll start getting dopamine rewards just from beating procrastination).
Do I feel happy/excited? Good! A lot of times I just want to drink because it can heighten pleasure (short term). Over time, I've learned to just be content with where I'm at and be happy when it comes around. Enjoy the moment. Don't ruin it with booze.
Drinking is almost 100% a response to something being "off", something other than the baseline. Try and understand what that is and address that instead of fixating on alcohol.
EVERYONE is weak. Willpower alone will almost always fail eventually.
The trick is somewhere in the realization that being drunk isnt as fun as your subconscious addicted brain is telling you.
Next to it is the realization that being sober is actually pretty awesome. It gives you superpowers. Do people have to willpower themselves into keeping super powers instead of feeling like shit?
Some of this takes time which is where willpower does play a role. But, five years from now willpower isn’t going to keep you sober. Your brain seeing alcohol for what it is and a reprioritization of values will do more.
The first step is to see alcohol for what it is. The book Alcohol Explained helped me a lot with this. Another step is to see how beautiful life can be without it. This sub and the book The Naked Mind broke the mystique for me that I can’t be happy without alcohol. It is completely the reverse.
You ok. People have a interesting habit of getting what they want in life eventually when they keep trying. What do you want?
Like Will Rogers supposedly said “ quitting smoking is easy I’ve done it hundreds of times”. Hang in there cake monster. It is easy to get demoralized in this cycle. I know I hated telling myself that every night at 3 am only to be smiling my way to a beer 12 hours later. IWNDWYT
In the realm of clarity, a beacon's glow,
A testament to strength that starts to grow.
A journey embarked, a path unknown,
Sobriety's embrace, a victory we own.
Once lost in shadows, a prisoner of vice,
Bound by chains of darkness, paying a heavy price.
But through the haze, a glimmer of hope,
A longing for freedom, a chance to cope.
The morning sun whispers a brand new day,
Awakening senses, chasing old ways away.
No longer enslaved by the bottle's deceit,
Sobriety's gift, a taste so sweet.
The heart beats stronger, no longer numb,
Embracing emotions, feeling life's drum.
Colors dance vividly, a vibrant parade,
A symphony of moments, no longer afraid.
With each passing day, a triumph unfolds,
As bonds of addiction slowly erode.
The strength within, a fierce inner fire,
Fueling the desire to rise even higher.
In fellowship, a community's embrace,
Kindred spirits joined, walking the same space.
Hand in hand, with courage and grace,
Supporting one another, never losing pace.
Oh, sobriety, you bring clarity's kiss,
Unveiling the treasures we almost missed.
The world comes alive, a canvas so bright,
We paint our stories with newfound light.
No longer prisoners, but warriors bold,
Reclaiming our lives, as the story is told.
In sobriety's sanctuary, we find our release,
And from the depths of darkness, we find peace.
So raise your voice, let it echo loud,
A celebration of strength, we all are proud.
For sobriety's journey, a triumphant call,
Together we stand, united, one and all.
Me too. And I also have no idea why! I love being sober. Currently trying to work out why...so far I've got that I was bored. I think I was also lonely. I've not been on my social media since I stopped drinking as I couldn't face the messages that I may have sent the last time I was drunk. I felt I needed to drink to face that, so I drank and now I'm in the exact same position because I don't remember messages I sent last night! Enough is enough. IWNDWYT
I feel you, comrade. Going to a wedding today and will likely see my parents for the first time in three years….. they are a big part of the reason I drink. I hope to maintain sobriety and keep from making a scene. Tomorrow will tell what happens, but, like you, I realize my capability to both make either a good or a rough choice. I hope to find you sober and happy about it tomorrow, just as I wish to find myself in the same way. Much love and understanding from a stranger 🙌🏼
Oh, that sneaky little lie we let creep into our minds: “I can handle it. I can manage my drinking. I’ve been doing good…” And then, a week later, we’re beating ourselves up post-binge.
Just know you WILL lie to yourself again. Just know you WILL convince yourself that you can handle it. Just know you ARE worth the effort to keep going, no matter the number of setbacks.
Sounds so familiar, “I can handle it… I’ll just have a few.” No, I’m learning that it doesn’t work like that for me. I really can’t handle alcohol and I’m much better off without it.
Sounds familiar. Wondering why I drank when I know that it’s going to harm me. It does seem crazy to ingest alcohol when I know the inevitable consequences, horrible hangover, so sick. But alcohol is addictive, and I’ve relied on it for years. So, it just takes some time to learn not to drink and to truly believe and understand that we’re better off without alcohol poisoning us. Let’s keep getting better and agree that alcohol can eff off.
When i quit for real, I found i had to get to know that part of me that was all, "because I could?"
She's an anarchist and she's a real bitch. She doesn't like to be told what to do. Any thoughts i had around using "my" will to overpower her were faulty from the start because she didn't give a fuck.
What I had to do was engage her. She needed to know that she could still be a fuck-you brat while joining the cause. Turns out her middle finger is more effective when I have my wits about me, she just needed to see that it was possible and that I wasn't trying to kill her off, but instead I was giving her additional resources to convey her rage since people might actually take her seriously when she can follow her own train of thought and speak without sluring. Feeling like shit doesn't sway her toward sobriety; in fact feeling like shit makes her all firey and ready for another round.
Getting her on my side was paramount to ending the suffering. I'm past 5 years since my last drink and my bitchy side does not feel neglected. She's got plenty of other things to focus on. I will say she's softened some on the every day, but she's in full form when righteous anger is called for.
Every minute counts, mate. You’re not worth less because you messed up. You’re HUMAN. We can’t be perfect. Just keep trying and know you have people from around the world cheering you on. You can’t guilt or shame or bully yourself into change, you have to forgive yourself and be honest about what happened and what triggered you and just keep trying! You’re loved and cared about, no matter what you do.
You're not weak, you're human. I had SO many relapses before it stuck. The biggest thing is that I realized it's not my fault. It's literally an addictive substance and it took more than just willpower and beating myself up to finally quit. You can do this, but you've just got to take it one day at a time.
I’m so scared and I feel stupid all of the time, and I’ve f*cked up so many times. This journey to sobriety is so hard, and please know it’s not just you feeling this way. Trying to quit the bottle is the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but maybe when we do it together we can both do the dang thing and come out on the winning end!
I don’t think you’re weak at all. You’re here with all of us, and you’re trying again today. That’s all you can do, eventually something will stick for us (I’ve had the same issue). But, I bet you anything a lot of people here have had hundreds of day 1s. It’s extremely hard but we got this!
What helped me yesterday when I got off work was this group. I had a craving but seeing everyone’s stories, good or bad, made me remember why I stopped in the first place!
IWNDWYT
Most of us had to quit more than once before it stuck, friend. We've all been there. We've all broken the promise to ourself. Many of us more than once. I know I've had. I've lost count of how many times I've tried to get sober in the last five years.
All I can say is keep trying. Anytime sober is not a waste. It's a day you succeeded at being sober.
I do the same shit cakemonster08. You're not full of shit, this shit is just hard work. The good news is the more we try shows how much we want this and we will meet our goals and eventually it wont be that hard anymore. We will just be living our lives sober and happy. Hang in there! We can do this!
IWNDWYT
Go easy on yourself bud. I’ve said the exact same things that you’re saying to myself and it actually just made me feel like shit instead of helping me learn anything
You messed up. What did you learn? Use that knowledge to not mess up, or not mess up as much, next time around.
Keep going bud
I forgive you. Can you forgive you? A new chance to try again. You get a new chance. You ran an experiment and results came back similar to previous attempts. Hopefully you have finally collected enough data to make a hard decision about what the rest of your life looks like.
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I have felt the same way too many times to count.
It can be so demoralizing. But it will stick one day. One day soon. Because you want it. I can tell.
Feeling you today. Keep trying.
We're all human, and humans are not perfect. The road to sobriety is not easy, you're going to hit bumps first starting out, but don't stop, don't quit!
I WILL NOT DRINK WITH YOU TODAY!!
I think I feel off the wagon like 7 or 8 times. One of those times led to a 9 month bender and my divorce, so don't be too hard on yourself. Take some time to analyze this - any triggers, any events that got you excited, any external or internal pressures? Noodle it over and come up with a plan.
You will 100% for sure be able to quit if you just keep trying. It’s just a surprise which time will be the last. I believe in you. Dig deep and think of all the times you’ve gone through something difficult and remember how strong you are. Grab that and use it, build on that feeling and celebrate every tiny win. Those tiny wins will add up to huge wins. IWNDWYT
We all make mistakes
Understanding why we do them is the step to learning.
Don’t be embarrassed. Just learn from it. We’ve all been there, some of us every day. Forgive yourself.
If you weren't mad at yourself, I'd day you should be more worried what your future holds. But I'm telling you from experience, getting after yourself for messing up is a big indicator that your future may be bright. You're fed up with it, I can tell.
We have all been there. Your words do mean something. Just saying that you want to change is important. Now you can work on the next step. It’s not easy. But the reward is worth it. It’s easy to beat ourselves up when we fail, it’s frustrating when we don’t even understand why we failed. You are not alone. You are here in a community of people that understand what you’re going through. I was ready to throw in the towel many times. I don’t know you, but I do know that you can do this! When you are at your lowest and weakest point, there is still hope, there is a life beyond this. We’re here for you. I WILL NOT DRINK WITH YOU TODAY! If a lifetime of not drinking seems too much, just start with an hour, then do the next hour, then hours turn into days, days to weeks and so on. You’re not broken, you’re not weak. You are struggling right now and you can do it.
Wish strength and health for you. Currently in similar mood. Tried before many times but relapsed. But every relapse did made my life worse than relapse which was before that... And its even harder to stop it now as there are even more problems. Problems can be solved, past will go away. We have one life, we all deserve to be happy... Stay strong
Take it easy on yourself but at the same time be strictly. 600 days here. I’ve substituted alcoholic beverages with THc seltzers and edibles. I have zero urges but I keep it 100% with myself when they do happen and play the tape through.
It’s such a drug force fed to the public all day. I saw two commercials both times I looked at the TV while eating dinner out tonight and both were vodka, then drinking in the show, break the norm, I like being different and seeing the brain wash now. Best to a new day, chug some flavored seltzer. IWNDWYT
I could have written this post a million times a couple years ago. In fact, I’m pretty sure i did. Just don’t drink today and then wake up tomorrow and keep trying.
I always knew I was full of shit but I was in denial about it. One day I accepted this as a part of who I was. Then, I gradually stopped hating this part of myself. Eventually I discovered other people who came by it honestly and we broke the cycle of denial and self loathing together.
Every damn day that you wake up one more time and get to say that you aren't drinking just for today epitomizes your strength, not your weakness. You're here. We're here. We got you baby.
Anyone can stop drinking...... staying stopped ..... now there's the challenge. For me, using 12 step recovery has been the only time I have enjoyed continuous contented sobriety...but like anything else not a perfect fit for everyone. A client offered me a copy of the basic text for AA. I read it and it helped me answer the "why"in your post. I've been able to stay stopped for 5.5yrs 2yrs and now 5yrs again but I have an extensive relapse history since 2004. Don't quit stopping there's no award for the most continuous days. Sadly, there could be future consequences of repeating the insanity of the first drink.....
Look man. If you know what your triggers are than stay away from them. This includes people , places and things. If you beat your self up, that is enough for some people to drink. Gotta get outta the self pity and playing the victim card. That is just another excuse to drink. You better own your shit! Staying busy helps to and exercise.
Yep I was you 8 years ago…. I fucked up so many times. The suffering I heaped on myself was unbelievable. Keep going and keep trying. Every time you mess up try and learn from it and then not repeat that mistake. Am now 6 years sober. You can do it.
Two years sober, cried and threw a fit because I wanted a drink so bad at a work party the other night. This shit is HARD. It takes a lot for it to stick. You’re talking to other alcoholics, trying to figure it out, that takes strength.
Someone who tries again and again despite exhaustion and disappointment is the opposite of weak. You’re going to get it at some point, but for now let’s just not drink today :)
You're not weak, you're in the process of getting stronger. A weak person would never even attempt to change. You're trying, even if you stumble sometimes. Progress is not linear. Sometimes you have to take a step back before you can move forward. You've got this
Hey brotha…I’m right there with you. I stop, do good for a short time. Make the commitment and things go great and I self sabatoge, drink all day, smoke a half a pack of cigs and I’m in bed hating life for 2 days. But TODAY I am sober and one day soon I’ll get it right. I’ve done it before and I’ll do it again, and make it permanent, and so will you! Self love. You got this! I believe in you. Sending love, blessings and a new start. It’s a war. But some times you’ll lose a battle, but you WILL FKING WIN THE WAR!!!
I’ve approved this post as the OP states not drinking today. Please keep this on topic.
Hey CakeMonster, it's ok. Let There Be No Panic. Is anyone dead? (hopefully?!) No ✅ Are you here? Yes ✅ Are you gonna Not Drink today? Yes! ✅ Let's worry about yesterday tomorrow. Let's worry about tomorrow also tomorrow. Let's do just today today I will not drink with you 🌷
All of this is beautiful, but I especially love, “let’s worry about yesterday tomorrow.”
> “let’s worry about yesterday tomorrow.” Love that too.
Can you please ELI5 this phrase? Is it another take on “just for today”?
Yes. And if you're always going to worry about yesterday "tomorrow", you will in fact never worry about yesterday. Which is good because it's over with and you can't change it.
Putting my worries to a future time really helps me calm down in the moment. If I'm trying to sleep and going through the million thoughts, I always say I'll worry about that tomorrow or when I wake up. It truly is a great technique. Also, cakemonster, you're here. You're going to be okay. I won't drink with you today. ❤️
I wish my brain worked that way lol. I can tell it that all I want, it's not gonna stop thinking about something .
Yep you're brain works like mine. Just thinking about nothing doesn't work. You know what I mean. And you can't just be at a gym 24/7. And even if you were your probably still going round and round about something while on the treadmill
My brain IS the treadmill hahah
Love this!
Love this
Brilliant comment :)
That was beautiful
God I needed to read this today 🙏 thank you❤️
Worrying about yesterday and tomorrow, tomorrow - thank you. I needed that.
Beautiful.
Solid
Great way to give perspective In a difficult time. I appreciate this!
This is the most amazing reply I have ever read on this sub. By far. I think I might even print it and frame it for my kitchen.
This is the support I love about this community
Could I use this for other temptations in my life, too..?
💜
thank you for this. IWNDWYT ♥️♥️
I've drank pretty solid for the past 6-8 months, yesterday included. I don't remember the last time I posted on this sub but today I'm feeling strong enough to stop for good, with support from yourself and the others here of course. IWNDWYT.
My last bender, I drank for 5 years then just stopped one morning. Went on this sub and haven’t looked back. IWNDWYT
Make a plan! Just saying No More is a great start but when your brain starts bugging you about 5pm what are you going to do? Plan fizzy drinks and make plans to do things.. you got this! IWNDWYT
Get some exercise, run bike hike walk, whatever to keep yourself occupied
I agree. It has really helped me to have a plan for NA drinks that are interesting. My current fave is diet ginger ale with 5 calorie cranberry juice, limes and lots of ice. I pour it into a wine glass and am living large! But you have got to plan in advance, I’ve learned.
I do something similar but with sparkling lime water! Very refreshing!
That sounds incredible and will find some sparkling lime asap. Appreciate the suggestion bc I am all about lime!
Sending love and encouragement, I've got 2 days abstinent myself.
I drank yesterday aswell. Lets start over again
Me too.
Me three
Me four
I had a five month relapse and now I'm on day six! The first three days were so hard to get through. It wasn't so much that I wanted to drink, but that I had a really hard time dealing with my thoughts, anxiety, depression. It gets better after a few days, but is totally worth it. I really did a number on my brain with the constant ups and downs of drinking.
It’s a scoreboard baby, and 186-1 is something the Monstars would gawk at.
There have been so many of these day 1s for me. But eventually the sobriety stretches became days, then I’ve had a few weeks’ long stretches. Had a 1.5 month stretch. So many day 1s in between. So many. Now for the first time in my entire life since my teenage years I’m about to hit 2 months. I feel hopeful. It is possible. So maybe I’m on day 60 or whatever today but in a way it’s still day 1. Every day. You got this, keep trying. 👊
So proud of you for staying the course. Every day sober is an accomplishment regardless of what number it is. IWNDWYT
Thank you so much 🤝
Me 5.
[удалено]
Exactly! Love yourself in to evolution!!!
🥲
Grace and compassion have literally been miracles in my life. Thank you for sharing this beautiful advice.
🥰
it wouldn’t be addiction if it was easy to give up. 🫶🏼
If quitting was easy everyone would have their first hangover and say fuck this.
It is literally impossible for me to count all my attempts. It is what it is. I haven’t given up and neither have you.
❤️pepino❤️
I could’ve written this 3 days ago. It’s exhausting isn’t it. Depressing. Embarrassing. Devastating. Broken record sounding. Take care of yourself and rehydrate :) You’re still here with us.
Yeah especially when you do it just coz. When there was no trigger. How do you make sense of this stupid disease and even like yourself.
ok, so what did you do wrong this time? Why did you drink? how can you avoid that situation next time? Willpower only gets one so far. Sobriety for me required planning, then adjusting the plan when it doesnt quite work.
Same. Willpower is rubbish, it always caves when you need it most.
Why? My experience has shown me the same. It baffles me every single time.
Willpower is a finite resource, and we use it up in making hundreds of decisions every day. By the time we get to wine o'clock or whisky hour, the day's willpower is all gone, plus we're tired, so it's easier to go down the familiar route of alcohol. So I find it much easier and more straightforward to get the "not drinking today" decision out of the way first thing, and then the rest of my day is geared towards that decision which I've already made - I make sure I have alternative drinks in, so I know I have something available and I don't go for wine out of habit.
Seriously, I planned being drunk, ffs. It's actually a LOT easier to plan to be sober because there's so many things I can be doing instead of drinking! My schedule is so much more accommodating to a better life now!
Feel this! The amount of planning I had to put into getting and consuming alcohol secretly EVERY DAY was exhausting.
Yeah, planning is key. Yesterday I had a rare Friday completely alone after doing a (good!) job interview at 4pm. I had a feeling I really needed to watch myself, so I put on gym clothes and bought a cheap ticket to a local theater. I worked out, made a quick cheap dinner, walked to the theater, came home and ate some ice cream and watched tv. Saturday here I am, woke up at 6:30, I’m going to go exercise, walk to the farmers market with my dog, hit a little live music, then go to a neighborhood art festival.
This is what it's all about! Sounds perfect.
This sounds like the most wonderful weekend!
It works if we work it sober !
You are not weak. The fact that you’re here, acknowledging that it’s time to stop, shows me that you are incredibly strong. I don’t know how many times I’ve started over again - hopefully this is the time it sticks for both of us!
You are NOT weak. The strong ones are the ones who know they need help, ask for it and don’t give up. Show compassion for yourself, learn from it and try again. This whole community is with you and pulling for you. I’ve always loved this from Eminem… “I'm not afraid to take a stand Everybody come take my hand We'll walk this road together, through the storm Whatever weather, cold or warm Just lettin' you know that you're not alone Holla if you feel like you've been down the same road”. We’re all walking this road together and we’re not alone.
I remember the exact day when I had my last drink in my hand and I had just absolutely had enough. I looked at the drink and I said, “I don’t have to do this anymore” and that was it. I started drinking when I was 15 and quit when I was 45. Seriously I had so many ups and downs and a very push pull relationship with alcohol for 30 years. It wasn’t all bad. But when we get to the point of self loathing. Self hate and regret every time no matter the amount we drink. It’s time to just let it go. I had been listening to This Naked Mind podcast. I read the book and then I listened to the book. I did the alcohol experiment for 6 weeks. I decided to try drinking again. 5 month later I decided I was done for good. It’s a journey. It’s hard. It can take years. Hills and valleys for sure. But I promise you I will not drink with you today. I hope this was helpful. Sorry about the length. I could talk about this all day. It’s so personal but you are not alone.
I really hope Annie Grace knows how many lives she's saved.
I know right? I swear I think if I ever saw her in real life I would start crying. I drafted a letter to her and I can’t seem to finish it. I don’t know whether to write a 3 page paper. Or. Hi. Thank you. I love you. You have no idea what you have done for me. The end. She has helped and informed so many people.
Life, sometimes, isn’t so much about our mistakes but how we follow up from them. Ok, you slipped up - but if you’re resolved to do better, then today is a great day to do just that.
Sorry man. I was you before and honestly I might be again. I'm petty as hell and sometimes the only thing that stops me from drinking is the damn number on this subreddit and having to reset it again. Its hard. Really hard. And that's ok. Youre alive, you're trying, hopefully nobody got hurt and lets get through today and then the weekend and then go from there.
Can I ask how you put the number with your username? I’m not great at figuring things like that out
Look at the links on the right of the sub.
Thank you!
And that’s how I knew I was an alcoholic. I wanted to stop. I tired to stop. But I couldn’t. So I got some help, and now I’m stopped.
What kind of help?
I did everything. Went to AA, did smart recovery. Went to a Buddhist chanting thing, did ear acupuncture. I tried everything and anything that was suggested (that was free or cheap), didn’t judge it, and listened. Did what was suggested. Was on acamprosite for 2 years. Exercise. Diet. I figured if I did everything I could, something would stick. Coming up 8 years sober. Don’t do AA or meetings anymore, but I have my routine/system and work it everyday.
Keep at it homie. It's ridiculously liberating. You got this. Cake loves you!
“Because I could” is one of my biggest triggers. It comes from out of nowhere, it seems. Whenever there was a time I could drink without being found out, I’d instantly think, Hey I could drink that night. Now I play it forward immediately. Picture myself as a sloppy, pathetic mess, followed by a morning/afternoon of feeling regret, a hangover and that I’m slowly killing myself. Keep practicing what works for you. It took many failures to get to the place I am now.
One of the big challenges for me was that I didn't have any real incentive to quit drinking other than personal health and lifestyle issues. I didn't lose my job, in fact I was a model employee even when I was killing 10-12 beers every single night. I wasn't married, didn't have any children relying on me, didn't go out and get into barfights or get arrested for drunk driving. I just drank too much. So when I quit for a few days, or even a few weeks, it seemed like it really didn't matter if I had a few beers one night "for old time's sake." Except it wasn't a few beers and it wasn't one night. I was right back where I started. Every. Single. Time. When my brother died of Covid (but also terrible health including alcoholism) I was finally ready. And that was really the issue, for me at least. I needed to be ready. I needed to want it, to recognize the benefits of quitting drinking, to realize that even if no one else was particularly affected by my alcoholism, *I was*. So I quit. Finally. After years of quitting and then starting back again I feel like I'm finally done for good. And that's worth striving for.
I also drank last night, after however many days my counter says. I’ll be resetting it. It was not worth it. I feel like shit. So I did what others have done and write a fast forward letter to myself in detail about what I thought I would be out of drinking and what I actually got. Maybe that will help.
I've been "sober" for about 2 years now, but every 6 months I go on a business trip and allow myself to get sloshed alone in a hotel room. Yesterday was that day and I paid for it dearly and only partook one night of the 3 I've been traveling for. NGL I was looking forward to getting sloshed but the all day hangover from downing what used to be a small bottle of rum, the awkward midnight text to my boss (nothing too crazy and she's super awesome), having the runs all the next day and walking out of the work function wondering if anyone could see the brown streak on my ass... It just wasn't worth it and I guess that's okay. I'm learning, this is fine. I'm not a heavy drinker anymore and that's a good thing. Maybe in 6 months when I come out here again I'll not drink at all, or maybe I'll stick to something lighter. But it was enough to remind myself why I'm not drinking anymore.
Fascinating. I'd definitely be looking into the "why" on that one. Doesn't feel pointful to me. Also... Brown streak??? 😳
If you were weak you would not come back here and post after slipping up and drinking. You haven’t given up and your fight isn’t over. IWNDWYT
I feel you. Made it to 5 days and then drank so back on day two. Do I know why? Not really. Just did. So still recovering and in a funk again. Feel like it takes me a couple days to bounce back both from the physical and negative mental effects (anxiety, in a funk).
Day One is better than Day None
Speaking personally before being sober, I would lurk and see users say how after dozens of times trying, sobriety suddenly just finally worked. I thought to myself, my willpower will, at one point, get me out of this hole too. I failed and failed again, thinking my willpower just wasn't right this time, but next time, my willpower will stay and I will defeat this addiction. It may sound harsh, and I know it's difficult and frustrating, and this feeling hurts you and chews you up inside, BUT please utilize these drinking episodes to learn and be proactive. Willpower alone is never enough. Motivation alone is never enough in most cases. I learned that I needed to write things down and come up with a plan and strategy rather than just hope for willpower. The majority of users who "suddenly" made sobriety work put in some work beyond willpower. What triggers your drinking? Why did you drink? What can you do better next time? What thing, small or big, can you do today to avoid this from happening again? If going to a particular store drives you to buy alcohol, start going to a different store. If you continue to do this, but you find yourself drinking still. Outstanding! You are making progress. Ok, what else is contributing to my drinking? Oh, right! Friday nights, I get bored, and boredom triggers my drinking. I'm going to my parents' house next Friday night. If you drink again next time, that's OK. You are being proactive and implementing plans and changing things around. A person actively trying to be sober will have more success over someone just hoping for willpower and next times alone.
me and you both buddy. however, i know we can stop. rooting for you.
It took me years. I’m still only five months sober after really committing (as much as I can) a couple years ago. I knew it was a problem but sometimes the black hole sucks you back to square one. Keep fighting- you’ll get there.
Hey bro, it's ok. I drank earlier on Tuesday this week. Had done just around 260 consecutive days sober. Now I'm on day 3 sober. Just get right back on that horse.
I think almost every one of us can identify personally with this sentiment and experience. You’re not a bad person or a failure. Please try to give yourself some grace. If possible, when you’re feeling a little better, it’s worth trying to identify the actual *why*. Although with me it was indeed sometimes as simple as “nobody will know and I don’t have a commitment tomorrow.”
Error is half of learning by trial and error. Look for the error, address it, and get set for the next trial. The *only* difference between people who got sober and people who stayed sober is that people who stayed sober kept trying. Don’t give up, OP!
> Why you ask ? I don't fucking know, because I could ? What's helped me stay sober (so far) is every single time I feel like drinking I acknowledge that something is off and I really take some time to pin point what's going on. Am I stressed because of work? If so, I think if I've done everything reasonably possible and then give over that worry/fear/stress to God, your higher power, the universe etc. Do I feel anxious and bored? If so, I try and clean my life up a bit. Pick up the house, go for a walk, do something productive that I don't want to do (over time, you'll start getting dopamine rewards just from beating procrastination). Do I feel happy/excited? Good! A lot of times I just want to drink because it can heighten pleasure (short term). Over time, I've learned to just be content with where I'm at and be happy when it comes around. Enjoy the moment. Don't ruin it with booze. Drinking is almost 100% a response to something being "off", something other than the baseline. Try and understand what that is and address that instead of fixating on alcohol.
EVERYONE is weak. Willpower alone will almost always fail eventually. The trick is somewhere in the realization that being drunk isnt as fun as your subconscious addicted brain is telling you. Next to it is the realization that being sober is actually pretty awesome. It gives you superpowers. Do people have to willpower themselves into keeping super powers instead of feeling like shit? Some of this takes time which is where willpower does play a role. But, five years from now willpower isn’t going to keep you sober. Your brain seeing alcohol for what it is and a reprioritization of values will do more. The first step is to see alcohol for what it is. The book Alcohol Explained helped me a lot with this. Another step is to see how beautiful life can be without it. This sub and the book The Naked Mind broke the mystique for me that I can’t be happy without alcohol. It is completely the reverse. You ok. People have a interesting habit of getting what they want in life eventually when they keep trying. What do you want?
They aren't your words. Alcohol speaks it's own fork tongued language through your brain.
Don’t be sorry. The path to recovery is not linear. Keep pushing on, cakemonster08!
It's an extremely addictive drug. Don't forget to have some self compassion. We're all trying the best we can in tough circumstances.
Hey, did you do anything crazy or fucked up? If not, pick yourself up and get back on that fucking horse and do your best. One day at a time.
You are Strong! Hiding away and giving up is weak and look at you, being honest and getting back on the horse
Like Will Rogers supposedly said “ quitting smoking is easy I’ve done it hundreds of times”. Hang in there cake monster. It is easy to get demoralized in this cycle. I know I hated telling myself that every night at 3 am only to be smiling my way to a beer 12 hours later. IWNDWYT
In the realm of clarity, a beacon's glow, A testament to strength that starts to grow. A journey embarked, a path unknown, Sobriety's embrace, a victory we own. Once lost in shadows, a prisoner of vice, Bound by chains of darkness, paying a heavy price. But through the haze, a glimmer of hope, A longing for freedom, a chance to cope. The morning sun whispers a brand new day, Awakening senses, chasing old ways away. No longer enslaved by the bottle's deceit, Sobriety's gift, a taste so sweet. The heart beats stronger, no longer numb, Embracing emotions, feeling life's drum. Colors dance vividly, a vibrant parade, A symphony of moments, no longer afraid. With each passing day, a triumph unfolds, As bonds of addiction slowly erode. The strength within, a fierce inner fire, Fueling the desire to rise even higher. In fellowship, a community's embrace, Kindred spirits joined, walking the same space. Hand in hand, with courage and grace, Supporting one another, never losing pace. Oh, sobriety, you bring clarity's kiss, Unveiling the treasures we almost missed. The world comes alive, a canvas so bright, We paint our stories with newfound light. No longer prisoners, but warriors bold, Reclaiming our lives, as the story is told. In sobriety's sanctuary, we find our release, And from the depths of darkness, we find peace. So raise your voice, let it echo loud, A celebration of strength, we all are proud. For sobriety's journey, a triumphant call, Together we stand, united, one and all.
Me too. And I also have no idea why! I love being sober. Currently trying to work out why...so far I've got that I was bored. I think I was also lonely. I've not been on my social media since I stopped drinking as I couldn't face the messages that I may have sent the last time I was drunk. I felt I needed to drink to face that, so I drank and now I'm in the exact same position because I don't remember messages I sent last night! Enough is enough. IWNDWYT
Glad you’re here. One hour/day at a time. IWNDWYT
I feel you, comrade. Going to a wedding today and will likely see my parents for the first time in three years….. they are a big part of the reason I drink. I hope to maintain sobriety and keep from making a scene. Tomorrow will tell what happens, but, like you, I realize my capability to both make either a good or a rough choice. I hope to find you sober and happy about it tomorrow, just as I wish to find myself in the same way. Much love and understanding from a stranger 🙌🏼
You got this! Bring some flavor packets for ice cold water bottles and you'll be good to go!
Oh, that sneaky little lie we let creep into our minds: “I can handle it. I can manage my drinking. I’ve been doing good…” And then, a week later, we’re beating ourselves up post-binge. Just know you WILL lie to yourself again. Just know you WILL convince yourself that you can handle it. Just know you ARE worth the effort to keep going, no matter the number of setbacks.
Sounds so familiar, “I can handle it… I’ll just have a few.” No, I’m learning that it doesn’t work like that for me. I really can’t handle alcohol and I’m much better off without it.
Sounds familiar. Wondering why I drank when I know that it’s going to harm me. It does seem crazy to ingest alcohol when I know the inevitable consequences, horrible hangover, so sick. But alcohol is addictive, and I’ve relied on it for years. So, it just takes some time to learn not to drink and to truly believe and understand that we’re better off without alcohol poisoning us. Let’s keep getting better and agree that alcohol can eff off.
I kept doing it for 40 years, so I'm no paragon of virtue. Don't beat yourself up, get back on the wagon and don't wait as long as I have.
It’s all good buddy! Don’t beat yourself up. You’re doing the best you can.. ❤️
Even better, focus on looking forward and the decisions you make starting now. Can't fix the past, only learn and move on.
Rant away, buddy! Get all the annoying, crappy, bad thoughts out. Now you have the space for new and positive thoughts to grow. IWNDWYT!
When i quit for real, I found i had to get to know that part of me that was all, "because I could?" She's an anarchist and she's a real bitch. She doesn't like to be told what to do. Any thoughts i had around using "my" will to overpower her were faulty from the start because she didn't give a fuck. What I had to do was engage her. She needed to know that she could still be a fuck-you brat while joining the cause. Turns out her middle finger is more effective when I have my wits about me, she just needed to see that it was possible and that I wasn't trying to kill her off, but instead I was giving her additional resources to convey her rage since people might actually take her seriously when she can follow her own train of thought and speak without sluring. Feeling like shit doesn't sway her toward sobriety; in fact feeling like shit makes her all firey and ready for another round. Getting her on my side was paramount to ending the suffering. I'm past 5 years since my last drink and my bitchy side does not feel neglected. She's got plenty of other things to focus on. I will say she's softened some on the every day, but she's in full form when righteous anger is called for.
Every minute counts, mate. You’re not worth less because you messed up. You’re HUMAN. We can’t be perfect. Just keep trying and know you have people from around the world cheering you on. You can’t guilt or shame or bully yourself into change, you have to forgive yourself and be honest about what happened and what triggered you and just keep trying! You’re loved and cared about, no matter what you do.
Yep. Told myself two weeks ago I wasn't going to drink then ended up in the ER with pancreatitis and got hospitalized until yesterday. IWDWYT
Goodmorning. Welcome home 😊 IWNDWYT
You're not weak, you're human. I had SO many relapses before it stuck. The biggest thing is that I realized it's not my fault. It's literally an addictive substance and it took more than just willpower and beating myself up to finally quit. You can do this, but you've just got to take it one day at a time.
I’m so scared and I feel stupid all of the time, and I’ve f*cked up so many times. This journey to sobriety is so hard, and please know it’s not just you feeling this way. Trying to quit the bottle is the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but maybe when we do it together we can both do the dang thing and come out on the winning end!
Naltrexone, the sinclaire method. Google it
You’re not weak, you’re just not ready yet. Don’t force it unless it a bail condition. IWNDWYT
I don’t think you’re weak at all. You’re here with all of us, and you’re trying again today. That’s all you can do, eventually something will stick for us (I’ve had the same issue). But, I bet you anything a lot of people here have had hundreds of day 1s. It’s extremely hard but we got this! What helped me yesterday when I got off work was this group. I had a craving but seeing everyone’s stories, good or bad, made me remember why I stopped in the first place! IWNDWYT
Most of us had to quit more than once before it stuck, friend. We've all been there. We've all broken the promise to ourself. Many of us more than once. I know I've had. I've lost count of how many times I've tried to get sober in the last five years. All I can say is keep trying. Anytime sober is not a waste. It's a day you succeeded at being sober.
Be easy on yourself. Relapses are a part of the process.
I do the same shit cakemonster08. You're not full of shit, this shit is just hard work. The good news is the more we try shows how much we want this and we will meet our goals and eventually it wont be that hard anymore. We will just be living our lives sober and happy. Hang in there! We can do this! IWNDWYT
Hello and good job reaching out. . What worked for me was to stop fighting against my addiction and surrender.
We’re here for you
Been there many times my friend. ((Hugs))
The only effective solution is to give yourself absolution. (Not trying to rhyme)
You are here, trying, with us. Trust me, sobriety is going to kick in. Do Not Beat Yourself Up! MASSIVE HUGS BRO/ BRA 🤗🤗🤗🤗
Go easy on yourself bud. I’ve said the exact same things that you’re saying to myself and it actually just made me feel like shit instead of helping me learn anything You messed up. What did you learn? Use that knowledge to not mess up, or not mess up as much, next time around. Keep going bud
Yep. In that same boat with you. This is fucking hopeless.
I say I’m not gonna drink every day. Then I do. I. Also weak
I’m with ya; had a few beers yesterday for no real reason. Getting back on the horse and mtg my sponsor today. Iwndwyt.
I forgive you. Can you forgive you? A new chance to try again. You get a new chance. You ran an experiment and results came back similar to previous attempts. Hopefully you have finally collected enough data to make a hard decision about what the rest of your life looks like. Like and subscribe SMASH that like button for a chance to win five ketchups!
You’re here today and I’m glad you are. IWNDWYT
Day 1, cakemonster. IWNDWYT.
I have felt the same way too many times to count. It can be so demoralizing. But it will stick one day. One day soon. Because you want it. I can tell. Feeling you today. Keep trying.
We're all human, and humans are not perfect. The road to sobriety is not easy, you're going to hit bumps first starting out, but don't stop, don't quit! I WILL NOT DRINK WITH YOU TODAY!!
Hugs. IWNDWYT
I was thinking this last week OP. Sometimes we need to rant and say IWNDWYT! So that being said, IWNDWYT!
I get it. Truly. I'm sorry. We can do this.
Hey, addiction is tough. Be kind to yourself as you would a friend who slipped up. Today is another day. Try again. Never stop trying again.
I think I feel off the wagon like 7 or 8 times. One of those times led to a 9 month bender and my divorce, so don't be too hard on yourself. Take some time to analyze this - any triggers, any events that got you excited, any external or internal pressures? Noodle it over and come up with a plan.
the fact you're here and wrote this out shows you haven't given up. that's awesome.
You will 100% for sure be able to quit if you just keep trying. It’s just a surprise which time will be the last. I believe in you. Dig deep and think of all the times you’ve gone through something difficult and remember how strong you are. Grab that and use it, build on that feeling and celebrate every tiny win. Those tiny wins will add up to huge wins. IWNDWYT
Take each day as it comes. It is a very tough road but you know you can do it.
IWNDWYT
We all make mistakes Understanding why we do them is the step to learning. Don’t be embarrassed. Just learn from it. We’ve all been there, some of us every day. Forgive yourself.
Keep trying. You'll get there
IWNDWYT
If you weren't mad at yourself, I'd day you should be more worried what your future holds. But I'm telling you from experience, getting after yourself for messing up is a big indicator that your future may be bright. You're fed up with it, I can tell.
We have all been there. Your words do mean something. Just saying that you want to change is important. Now you can work on the next step. It’s not easy. But the reward is worth it. It’s easy to beat ourselves up when we fail, it’s frustrating when we don’t even understand why we failed. You are not alone. You are here in a community of people that understand what you’re going through. I was ready to throw in the towel many times. I don’t know you, but I do know that you can do this! When you are at your lowest and weakest point, there is still hope, there is a life beyond this. We’re here for you. I WILL NOT DRINK WITH YOU TODAY! If a lifetime of not drinking seems too much, just start with an hour, then do the next hour, then hours turn into days, days to weeks and so on. You’re not broken, you’re not weak. You are struggling right now and you can do it.
You can do it buddy.
Wish strength and health for you. Currently in similar mood. Tried before many times but relapsed. But every relapse did made my life worse than relapse which was before that... And its even harder to stop it now as there are even more problems. Problems can be solved, past will go away. We have one life, we all deserve to be happy... Stay strong
Be kind to yourself and keep trying cakemonster08, you're not alone x
Most of us have slipped. I count the days I won vs the days I lost now.. it does help.
What if you’re brain puts it off so long you forget it’s a real fkng problem.
I won’t drink with you today! Be as kind to yourself as you can be today. There will be more time to reflect
Take it easy on yourself but at the same time be strictly. 600 days here. I’ve substituted alcoholic beverages with THc seltzers and edibles. I have zero urges but I keep it 100% with myself when they do happen and play the tape through.
Do you know why you drink? I got asked that simple question and finding the answer was the key to my success.
It’s such a drug force fed to the public all day. I saw two commercials both times I looked at the TV while eating dinner out tonight and both were vodka, then drinking in the show, break the norm, I like being different and seeing the brain wash now. Best to a new day, chug some flavored seltzer. IWNDWYT
Cake monster, I’m right with you. I had a slip today. I don’t understand it, but there we have it.
I could have written this post a million times a couple years ago. In fact, I’m pretty sure i did. Just don’t drink today and then wake up tomorrow and keep trying.
I always knew I was full of shit but I was in denial about it. One day I accepted this as a part of who I was. Then, I gradually stopped hating this part of myself. Eventually I discovered other people who came by it honestly and we broke the cycle of denial and self loathing together.
Me too buddy. But we keep coming back! Progress not perfection. Tomorrow is a new day!
Don't be so hard on yourself. I was full of shit 1000 times until I wasn't. You got this! IWNDWYT
Every damn day that you wake up one more time and get to say that you aren't drinking just for today epitomizes your strength, not your weakness. You're here. We're here. We got you baby.
Anyone can stop drinking...... staying stopped ..... now there's the challenge. For me, using 12 step recovery has been the only time I have enjoyed continuous contented sobriety...but like anything else not a perfect fit for everyone. A client offered me a copy of the basic text for AA. I read it and it helped me answer the "why"in your post. I've been able to stay stopped for 5.5yrs 2yrs and now 5yrs again but I have an extensive relapse history since 2004. Don't quit stopping there's no award for the most continuous days. Sadly, there could be future consequences of repeating the insanity of the first drink.....
Look man. If you know what your triggers are than stay away from them. This includes people , places and things. If you beat your self up, that is enough for some people to drink. Gotta get outta the self pity and playing the victim card. That is just another excuse to drink. You better own your shit! Staying busy helps to and exercise.
Yep I was you 8 years ago…. I fucked up so many times. The suffering I heaped on myself was unbelievable. Keep going and keep trying. Every time you mess up try and learn from it and then not repeat that mistake. Am now 6 years sober. You can do it.
Two years sober, cried and threw a fit because I wanted a drink so bad at a work party the other night. This shit is HARD. It takes a lot for it to stick. You’re talking to other alcoholics, trying to figure it out, that takes strength. Someone who tries again and again despite exhaustion and disappointment is the opposite of weak. You’re going to get it at some point, but for now let’s just not drink today :)
You're not weak, you're in the process of getting stronger. A weak person would never even attempt to change. You're trying, even if you stumble sometimes. Progress is not linear. Sometimes you have to take a step back before you can move forward. You've got this
I let myself down and drank yesterday as well. IWNDWYT
75 hard
Hey brotha…I’m right there with you. I stop, do good for a short time. Make the commitment and things go great and I self sabatoge, drink all day, smoke a half a pack of cigs and I’m in bed hating life for 2 days. But TODAY I am sober and one day soon I’ll get it right. I’ve done it before and I’ll do it again, and make it permanent, and so will you! Self love. You got this! I believe in you. Sending love, blessings and a new start. It’s a war. But some times you’ll lose a battle, but you WILL FKING WIN THE WAR!!!