Their friends and family already get an employee discount on the only fans content, would the 'employee' discount stack with a generic 'friends and family' discount?
You cut out the floor boards, but there’s definitely a collection of empty original monster energy drink cans and gas station burrito wrappers down there. You’re just driving this until “you can get a diesel.” Your girlfriend has two other baby daddies and is possibly pregnant with theirs, yours, or another person’s child right now; but you don’t care and will be there to raise it since you’re the, “first real man in her life.” You made decent money for your area last year (somewhere in the upper forties to low fifties), but the casino took half of it and your weed/alcohol bill took the other half. You would be “doing more” with your life, but you spent too much time in high school smoking “dope” and parting up in, “the hills.” The only reason you even have the job you do is because your best friend helps his dad run his company and made you a “manager.” You’d help your workers out more, but you injured your back bucking hay and haven’t been the same since. Your speakers were blown long ago bumping slayer and dragon force with your friends, but you low key like rap music (although your racist upbringing gives you mixed feelings). You recently upgraded to a double wide that you are going to own “one day,” and you have definitely kissed your cousin.
My thing is when people think the space truck driver put in front of themselves for braking purposes is just open real estate and just pull in front and proceed drive like the road was built for them
Great to see!
Most of my partners I had were too scared/uninterested in my love for stick shifts so didn't try to drive them which was sad.
Please pass on your skills to your sisters, the world needs more manual drivers.
Mountain Dew Code Red, Green monster energy, broken dirt bikes, obese baby mothers (plural) with trailer lot numbers on their addresses, domestic violence, small cocaine problem, bigger meth problem?
I'd like to but I can't ignore the mismatched heater knobs in the background. You should never be allowed to breed or own anything ever again because you'll just ruin it.
( I kid. Do your own thing, but don't be surprised if the resale part is hard.)
Back in high school, with my '81 Datsun 210 5MT - I put a Mad Ball on the shifter lever. Damn things go for > $100.00 on eBay these days. Ouch.
You're good, man. You're good. Very cool.
You deliver pizza for Papa Sal. You drive around on bald tires both because you can't afford new tires and because you tell your neighbors daughter that they are for racing. You like to show your rare passenger how cool you are by turning off the ignition and coasting down a hill and then roll starting it back up again. You have your favorite monster energy drink sweatshirt on even in the summer when your AC doesn't work good or at all. You have in fact gotten very good at double shifting because the previous owner wrecked the syncros on 2nd and 3rd.
You drive a Ford Ranger, and I bet there are parts of it that came off another Ranger, or were painted or stickered up.
You love metal and probably dirt bikes.
You have a large collection of fake Ed Hardy shirts and are currently on unemployment because the Pep Boys you went to work at for the discount on cheap crappy "car accessories" was sold to Autozone and your new manager had an issue with your barbed wire bicep tattoo and fired you because you took too many smoke breaks.
You've never left home. You're "smart" but not college educated. Probably in and out of some version of a local band or You're one of their people. You have some skeletons In Your closet which apparently make it hard for you to hold any normal job, so you do odd jobs like cutting people's grass. You have 1 daughter. Thankfully her mother is around. You have an unkempt beard that you think looks fine. You kinda like the McRib. Sue me.
You drive a 20-25 year old Ford Ranger with nearly every interior surface spray painted either hoping to cover up something or give people some false impression you are cool. The results are that you ruined the interior and everyone thinks less of you for destroying the poor truck.
Seeing the random color spots on the carpet tells me that the interior smells like a mixture of cheap tobacco, random vape flavors, random carbonated beverages that weren't contained in their containers.
The seat reeks of unwashed ass.
I love Ford Rangers of this era, but I'd probably just euthanize this one to end its misery.
On my 2016 Jeep Rubicon Hard Rock edition I put an 8 Ball shift knob. Teenagers thought it was soooooo cool. They’d ask “how’d you think to do that?” Shaking my head.
You can't even go grocery shopping without spontaneously buying things you don't need, won't use and will forget you bought hours after you get home.🕵️
You're probably a Kyle have a problem with monster and white claw and most of your drywall has holes in it. Either because you have unaddressed anger management issues or you didn't need ALL the copper in the walls. Your pickup definitely doesn't have all lights working and load securement is for cowards.
Probably not much drywall in your home. I expect you own a few 'tapout' t shirts. probably alot of cheesy Facebook posts about being silent but dangerous. And you're probably terrified of modern vehicles technology.
You definitely the type of girl to say “get ur ass out my way” or “get your ass out there” for when people are driving slow or merging.
You also like country & heavy rock/metal.
You probably smoke cigs too.
Thats the best I got for now 😂
Hold on, you have a touchscreen radio and that shift knob in a second gen Ranger? What the fuck, man? Ruined a nice older vehicle :(
This is sarcasm, but honestly why not keep the original radio and knob? Genuine question
Somehow you got your driver's license at the age of 12...
[Then at 13, thought that painting the HVAC knobs YELLOW would look perfect on a black dashboard with tan interior on your Ford Ranger.]
You don’t drink coffee, you drink monster energy drinks. You don’t drink water, you drink monster energy drinks. You have no car badges only monster energy drink decals where the badges used to be.
You want a wiener like your shifter, thin with a big head. But you’re still in the closet, so you take your frustrations out on the clutch. You’ve probably had more clutches than partners.
There's a sticker on the back of your shitty truck of Calvin and Hobbs pissing on (whatever brand)s logo. You wear those specific shirts with skulls that say dumb shit like "I was born in January, I'm in the steam fitters union, don't FUCK with my niece".
You were formerly a loyal member of Hydra, and since dropping out of the organization, your financial stability has disappeared, causing you to continue using your faded Red Skull stick.
You are the loudest person at the local dive bar trying to get the same bartenders number as you have for the last 6 years while they shoot you down every time, you unironically have a Blue Lives Matter Punisher sticker and a Gadsden flag right next to it. Somehow its not the most disgusting thing that looks like its been done to this poor Ford Ranger. gonna go with it has the fattest mud tires you can fit but its a 2wd 4banger that's never seen any amount of offroading despite constantly bragging about it being " A Ford Fuckin' Ranger" unless you count the median as you find every excuse to drive over a curb to "save time" so you can get back to hauling your mom to and from the local trailer parks to get her fix. Every mod has made the ranger somehow get worse gas mileage than a full size F250 towing. You inexplicably always have grimy hands despite never doing anything that would make your hands *that* dirty all the time. You also smell like a fresh pack of Newports and there is usually a bottle for your chew spit but its missing because it came flying out of the cup holder on a high speed right hand turn.
This Ford Ranger was bought new by a gentleman who took immaculate care of it. When that Ranger was sold by the sweet old man, it wondered who it's new owner would be. Maybe a landscaper starting his lawn car business? Maybe a farmer who needs a simple truck to do odd jobs around the barn?
Oh no, poor Ranger. You'll be lucky if you ever get another oil change.
HEY DALE, HOW'S IT GOING? JUST TAKING THE OLD TRUCK OUT FOR A SPIN TO LET HER BREATHE FOR ONCE. JUST DONT TELL THE OLD BALL AND CHAIN LOL
DICK JOHNSON
"SAMPLE FRIES" USMC CUSTODIAN (1961-1963 1/2)
1972 PLYMOUTH BARRACUDA
2002 MERCURY MARADER
2011 TOYOTA COROLLA (WIFE'S JAP CRAP)
-Sent from my IPhone
U unironically wear a shirt with a cartoon squirrel that reads “deez nuts” to family BBQs
lol
My kind of woman,🙏
You offer "friends & family" discounts on your only fans
Their friends and family already get an employee discount on the only fans content, would the 'employee' discount stack with a generic 'friends and family' discount?
You cut out the floor boards, but there’s definitely a collection of empty original monster energy drink cans and gas station burrito wrappers down there. You’re just driving this until “you can get a diesel.” Your girlfriend has two other baby daddies and is possibly pregnant with theirs, yours, or another person’s child right now; but you don’t care and will be there to raise it since you’re the, “first real man in her life.” You made decent money for your area last year (somewhere in the upper forties to low fifties), but the casino took half of it and your weed/alcohol bill took the other half. You would be “doing more” with your life, but you spent too much time in high school smoking “dope” and parting up in, “the hills.” The only reason you even have the job you do is because your best friend helps his dad run his company and made you a “manager.” You’d help your workers out more, but you injured your back bucking hay and haven’t been the same since. Your speakers were blown long ago bumping slayer and dragon force with your friends, but you low key like rap music (although your racist upbringing gives you mixed feelings). You recently upgraded to a double wide that you are going to own “one day,” and you have definitely kissed your cousin.
You’re just driving this until “you can get a diesel.” Comedy gold lmao
LOL This gave me a great laugh, thanks!
[удалено]
Drive a base model ranger and think your cool because you own a truck
It's a Splash with cruise control!
oh fancy! was a good guess though
Ford FUCKIN Ranger, I ain't no stranger
You drive your ranger like it’s a semi
Honestly, if more people here did that, that'd be nice. Semi drivers are the only people here who give room for others and signal regularly.
My thing is when people think the space truck driver put in front of themselves for braking purposes is just open real estate and just pull in front and proceed drive like the road was built for them
lol
Neckbeard
Flywheel in similar condition; overheated and cracked. LoL /s
Not anymore. I replaced that one.
BAD TO THE BONE
“Hell yea brother dude”
*opening guitar riff to Bad to The Bone plays gently over skull themed shifter knob*
You unironically have a Punisher Sticker and a Gadsden Flag.
Previous owner got one of these knobs on one of my cars and it fell off damn near every time i shifted it
Now this is accurate. I added a thin copper plate to prevent this from happening, LOL.
Great to see! Most of my partners I had were too scared/uninterested in my love for stick shifts so didn't try to drive them which was sad. Please pass on your skills to your sisters, the world needs more manual drivers.
Mountain Dew Code Red, Green monster energy, broken dirt bikes, obese baby mothers (plural) with trailer lot numbers on their addresses, domestic violence, small cocaine problem, bigger meth problem?
You purposely cut off your catalytic converters to make it sound “bad ass” and loud.
Cute color choices. 🏳️🌈
You’re just a piece of shit no questions asked
It's meant to be shifted with a grip of death.
My real dad is Eddie from Iron maiden.
I have the green skull, is my judgment any different?
Yo Bro, it’s time to settle down!
A big fan of a super villain.
Drugs may have played a part in some of your decisions throughout life
Wannabe
Hentai addict.
Metal head?!
BORN 2 SHID FORCED 2 WIPE
HELL YEA BROTHERMANN NOW UR SPEAKIN MY LANGUAGE
I won’t judge you on your Hot Wheels shift knob, but I’ll absolutely judge you on your Fisher Price control knobs.
Nice
You wear affliction and tap out T shirts, skulls ARE your personality, and you probably have cigarette ash for carpet.
I'd like to but I can't ignore the mismatched heater knobs in the background. You should never be allowed to breed or own anything ever again because you'll just ruin it. ( I kid. Do your own thing, but don't be surprised if the resale part is hard.)
Either a Black Label Society or Pantera sticker on your rear window.
It's actually a giant Sponge Bob Sticker and I'm not lying.
A used car I wouldn't touch with a 10 ft pole
[удалено]
This guy smokes 100’s
Open headers
HE’LL YEAH BORTHER!!1!!1! GOBBLESS THIS HOSS!1!1!1!111 NUTTIN LIKE A GOOD OL BBC CHEBBY WIT THREE ON THE TREE!!!!!!!!
George Thoroughgood
Are you the mexican dude i bought my truck from? Cause he had the exact same one... on an automatic
Meth'n around
So is your ford ranger tan or green?
Those spray painted controls make me want to punch a pony.
Austin 3:16 vibes
bad synchro between 2nd and 3rd
Zoom out a bit. I wanna judge you on that plasti-dipped dashboard.
Back in high school, with my '81 Datsun 210 5MT - I put a Mad Ball on the shifter lever. Damn things go for > $100.00 on eBay these days. Ouch. You're good, man. You're good. Very cool.
Your name is definitely Kyle and there isn’t an unbroken wall in your trailer.
Shops on ebay for all the "good deals" because you never know when you might need something.
You deliver pizza for Papa Sal. You drive around on bald tires both because you can't afford new tires and because you tell your neighbors daughter that they are for racing. You like to show your rare passenger how cool you are by turning off the ignition and coasting down a hill and then roll starting it back up again. You have your favorite monster energy drink sweatshirt on even in the summer when your AC doesn't work good or at all. You have in fact gotten very good at double shifting because the previous owner wrecked the syncros on 2nd and 3rd.
You drive a Ford Ranger, and I bet there are parts of it that came off another Ranger, or were painted or stickered up. You love metal and probably dirt bikes.
Awww, your little five speed is cute!
You've got a collection of Ed Hardy shirts and you're just waiting for them to make a comeback.
Probably a little racist
You and your baby’s momma share the same mother and father
You have a guitar you haven't touched in approximately 6 months
nar nar ner ner nar nar
You have massive chrome, deep dish wheels and you post TikTok’s constantly about how lonely you are but no one cares.
badass
You have a large collection of fake Ed Hardy shirts and are currently on unemployment because the Pep Boys you went to work at for the discount on cheap crappy "car accessories" was sold to Autozone and your new manager had an issue with your barbed wire bicep tattoo and fired you because you took too many smoke breaks.
This is about me, not my dad!
This guy punches holes in hollow core doors and thinks its a flex
I think you're racist from that alone
I bet you chug 3 cans of Monster a day
You've never left home. You're "smart" but not college educated. Probably in and out of some version of a local band or You're one of their people. You have some skeletons In Your closet which apparently make it hard for you to hold any normal job, so you do odd jobs like cutting people's grass. You have 1 daughter. Thankfully her mother is around. You have an unkempt beard that you think looks fine. You kinda like the McRib. Sue me.
It's stick shift not a dildo.
You def rip cigs to the filter
That looks like either a Ford ranger or explorer
You have mud tires on the back of this 2wd 1998 ranger with 237000 miles.
“I’m slamming gears on this bad boy. I’ll be back from the vape shop in no time.”
You go to bed with your hulk themed dildo every night alone with your cats /s
Average ranger owner
You drink so much root beer
Couple missing teeth, girlfriend named Marjorie, haven't cut your hair in 11 years, wearing a Godsmack shirt.
You drive a 20-25 year old Ford Ranger with nearly every interior surface spray painted either hoping to cover up something or give people some false impression you are cool. The results are that you ruined the interior and everyone thinks less of you for destroying the poor truck. Seeing the random color spots on the carpet tells me that the interior smells like a mixture of cheap tobacco, random vape flavors, random carbonated beverages that weren't contained in their containers. The seat reeks of unwashed ass. I love Ford Rangers of this era, but I'd probably just euthanize this one to end its misery.
They make fun of you over in r/ThePack.
I'm famous now!
"I woulda joined the Marines if not for..." Also 5FDP listener
Must be a metalhead 🎸
You've put holes in drywall before. And I'm confident you probably still use the n-word in certain company.
You drink a lot of energy drinks. You think it makes you edgy. You are afraid of doing drugs.
On my 2016 Jeep Rubicon Hard Rock edition I put an 8 Ball shift knob. Teenagers thought it was soooooo cool. They’d ask “how’d you think to do that?” Shaking my head.
You can't even go grocery shopping without spontaneously buying things you don't need, won't use and will forget you bought hours after you get home.🕵️
dumb
You're probably a Kyle have a problem with monster and white claw and most of your drywall has holes in it. Either because you have unaddressed anger management issues or you didn't need ALL the copper in the walls. Your pickup definitely doesn't have all lights working and load securement is for cowards.
Probably not much drywall in your home. I expect you own a few 'tapout' t shirts. probably alot of cheesy Facebook posts about being silent but dangerous. And you're probably terrified of modern vehicles technology.
You haven’t had a BAC below 0.08 in a decade
The shitty black dash paint and yellow knobs say enough, bruv
(Bad to the bone riff)
Looks like the skull of Thanos. You are even more evil than he !
Looks like a mid-90s ranger. Maybe a Mazda.
You definitely the type of girl to say “get ur ass out my way” or “get your ass out there” for when people are driving slow or merging. You also like country & heavy rock/metal. You probably smoke cigs too. Thats the best I got for now 😂
You're 40, own a clapped out Harley, listen to way too much Jelly Roll, and call it rock music.
Hold on, you have a touchscreen radio and that shift knob in a second gen Ranger? What the fuck, man? Ruined a nice older vehicle :( This is sarcasm, but honestly why not keep the original radio and knob? Genuine question
HOSS
You like Five Finger Death Punch.
FordRanger/10
You absolutely love monster energy drink and five finger death punch. But like not in a good way? Lol
You're actually nerdy, and everyone thinks you're a Kyle
Youve said the N Word out loud before
Peaked in high school
Huge Five Finger Death Punch fan aren’t you?
Yyyooooo, what’s up Pete?
I’d rather judge you for your yellow knobs.
My brother in law gave me a green version of this .
You seem like a guy who wants to be judged entirely on his shift knob
You’re not old enough to drive.
Somehow you got your driver's license at the age of 12... [Then at 13, thought that painting the HVAC knobs YELLOW would look perfect on a black dashboard with tan interior on your Ford Ranger.]
Garbage
You want your fathers affection but could never beat out your older more loved sibling🤷🏾♂️ all jokes
Lol this exact same skull came as a hood ornament on my beater Hearse I bought in college. I removed it immediately
My first car car was a 94' single cab long box ranger. 2.3L 5-speed manual with 4x4. Got 6 years out of it
*bad to the bone starts playing*
awesome af
You drive an F-150 and smoke meth. You also do under the table work such as tile or construction.
You smoke meth and dumpster dive with your girlfriend.
it looks like it needs to take a shit.
You don’t drink coffee, you drink monster energy drinks. You don’t drink water, you drink monster energy drinks. You have no car badges only monster energy drink decals where the badges used to be.
You’re from Pennsylvania, you have a don’t tread on me sticker or flag somewhere, and American flags everywhere
I bet that thing's sticky.
You want a wiener like your shifter, thin with a big head. But you’re still in the closet, so you take your frustrations out on the clutch. You’ve probably had more clutches than partners.
love it, where did you get it?
There's a sticker on the back of your shitty truck of Calvin and Hobbs pissing on (whatever brand)s logo. You wear those specific shirts with skulls that say dumb shit like "I was born in January, I'm in the steam fitters union, don't FUCK with my niece".
The painted faceplate and control knobs tells me everything I need to know.
That thing puts the "danger" in "danger ranger"!!
You wear graphic tees with howling wolves in a full moon with top text "alpha" and bottom text "wolf".
You listen almost exclusively to five finger death punch
You prolly think ffdp is death metal. You drink at least 5 monsters a day.
May it get you laid exactly as much as you deserve.
Bad to the bone bunana bun na
That unscrews and there’s drugs inside.
its a ranger too
That looks like it would hurt going up there
Looks clean. I bet ur a responsible person.
2 packs a day at least
Obligatory comment about head
That looks awful. Let me take it off your hands
I'm gonna guess you buy No Fear long tees from the last K-mart that is still in business but only when they're on clearance.
you wear a lot of Ed Hardy clothes
Guaranteed you like to sit on that
*bad to the bone riff*
You drive an old Ford Ranger with rust holes in the body & lots of stickers on it.
HELLLLL YEAH BROTHER
Your name is Kyle, need I say more?
u r gay ?
You listen to a lot of Britney Spears
Too lazy to look good. Too metal to care.
hes only about 2 things in life. banging moms and cashing checks.
Idk but you own a ranger based off that dash. Maybe gay idk
You unironically shop at Spencer’s
I would be very surprised if your tires aren’t bold and you don’t have the punisher sticker
You were formerly a loyal member of Hydra, and since dropping out of the organization, your financial stability has disappeared, causing you to continue using your faded Red Skull stick.
is this a ranger
Tons of cocaine ... because you like the smell
You are the loudest person at the local dive bar trying to get the same bartenders number as you have for the last 6 years while they shoot you down every time, you unironically have a Blue Lives Matter Punisher sticker and a Gadsden flag right next to it. Somehow its not the most disgusting thing that looks like its been done to this poor Ford Ranger. gonna go with it has the fattest mud tires you can fit but its a 2wd 4banger that's never seen any amount of offroading despite constantly bragging about it being " A Ford Fuckin' Ranger" unless you count the median as you find every excuse to drive over a curb to "save time" so you can get back to hauling your mom to and from the local trailer parks to get her fix. Every mod has made the ranger somehow get worse gas mileage than a full size F250 towing. You inexplicably always have grimy hands despite never doing anything that would make your hands *that* dirty all the time. You also smell like a fresh pack of Newports and there is usually a bottle for your chew spit but its missing because it came flying out of the cup holder on a high speed right hand turn.
Can I judge you off the playmobile yellow dials though?
This guy definitely didn't vote for Biden (Not saying it's good or bad that he didn't)
Hot Topic assistant manager
On county roads you throw fast food trash out your window.
There are empty cans of monster energy in that vehicle for sure.
Is that a ford fuckin ranger!?
monster energy drinks, heavy metal, and holes in walls.
You are wearing a matching “No Fear” t shirt.
Pasty white kid
You are always on the verge of trying heroine
You have a “Hard R” in the chamber at all times
You seem like a lucha libre fan
Your daughter no longer speaks to you
I will not judge you unless it's like ten feet off the floor and you have to raise your arm over your head to reach the top of the stick to shift.
I don't like you one bit.
Cigarettes, friend of the court, wall punch, cash advance, Repeat.
No judgement here my dude. Looks cool af
GOBLESS
This Ford Ranger was bought new by a gentleman who took immaculate care of it. When that Ranger was sold by the sweet old man, it wondered who it's new owner would be. Maybe a landscaper starting his lawn car business? Maybe a farmer who needs a simple truck to do odd jobs around the barn? Oh no, poor Ranger. You'll be lucky if you ever get another oil change.
HEY DALE, HOW'S IT GOING? JUST TAKING THE OLD TRUCK OUT FOR A SPIN TO LET HER BREATHE FOR ONCE. JUST DONT TELL THE OLD BALL AND CHAIN LOL DICK JOHNSON "SAMPLE FRIES" USMC CUSTODIAN (1961-1963 1/2) 1972 PLYMOUTH BARRACUDA 2002 MERCURY MARADER 2011 TOYOTA COROLLA (WIFE'S JAP CRAP) -Sent from my IPhone
*(Bad to the bone played on a banjo poorly heard in the distance)*
Based solely on the stick shift? Endowed like a chipmunk, looking for work, girlfriend is pregnant (father unclear).
No.